THE COMING OF THE FOOD.
I.-
Our theme, which began so compactly
in Mr. Bensington’s study, has already spread
and branched, until it points this way and that, and
henceforth our whole story is one of dissemination.
To follow the Food of the Gods further is to trace
the ramifications of a perpetually branching tree;
in a little while, in the quarter of a lifetime, the
Food had trickled and increased from its first spring
in the little farm near Hickleybrow until it had spread, it
and the report and shadow of its power, throughout
the world. It spread beyond England very speedily.
Soon in America, all over the continent of Europe,
in Japan, in Australia, at last all over the world,
the thing was working towards its appointed end.
Always it worked slowly, by indirect courses and against
resistance. It was bigness insurgent. In
spite of prejudice, in spite of law and regulation,
in spite of all that obstinate conservatism that lies
at the base of the formal order of mankind, the Food
of the Gods, once it had been set going, pursued its
subtle and invincible progress.
The children of the Food grew steadily
through all these years; that was the cardinal fact
of the time. But it is the leakages make history.
The children who had eaten grew, and soon there were
other children growing; and all the best intentions
in the world could not stop further leakages and still
further leakages. The Food insisted on escaping
with the pertinacity of a thing alive. Flour
treated with the stuff crumbled in dry weather almost
as if by intention into an impalpable powder, and
would lift and travel before the lightest breeze.
Now it would be some fresh insect won its way to a
temporary fatal new development, now some fresh outbreak
from the sewers of rats and such-like vermin.
For some days the village of Pangbourne in Berkshire
fought with giant ants. Three men were bitten
and died. There would be a panic, there would
be a struggle, and the salient evil would be fought
down again, leaving always something behind, in the
obscurer things of life changed for ever.
Then again another acute and startling outbreak, a
swift upgrowth of monstrous weedy thickets, a drifting
dissemination about the world of inhumanly growing
thistles, of cockroaches men fought with shot guns,
or a plague of mighty flies.
There were some strange and desperate
struggles in obscure places. The Food begot heroes
in the cause of littleness ...
And men took such happenings into
their lives, and met them by the expedients of the
moment, and told one another there was “no change
in the essential order of things.” After
the first great panic, Caterham, in spite of his power
of eloquence, became a secondary figure in the political
world, remained in men’s minds as the exponent
of an extreme view.
Only slowly did he win a way towards
a central position in affairs. “There was
no change in the essential order of things,” that
eminent leader of modern thought, Doctor Winkles,
was very clear upon this, and the exponents
of what was called in those days Progressive Liberalism
grew quite sentimental upon the essential insincerity
of their progress. Their dreams, it would appear,
ran wholly on little nations, little languages, little
households, each self-supported on its little farm.
A fashion for the small and neat set in. To be
big was to be “vulgar,” and dainty, neat,
mignon, miniature, “minutely perfect,”
became the key-words of critical approval....
Meanwhile, quietly, taking their time
as children must, the children of the Food, growing
into a world that changed to receive them, gathered
strength and stature and knowledge, became individual
and purposeful, rose slowly towards the dimensions
of their destiny. Presently they seemed a natural
part of the world; all these stirrings of bigness
seemed a natural part of the world, and men wondered
how things had been before their time. There
came to men’s ears stories of things the giant
boys could do, and they said “Wonderful!” without
a spark of wonder. The popular papers would tell
of the three sons of Cossar, and how these amazing
children would lift great cannons, hurl masses of iron
for hundreds of yards, and leap two hundred feet.
They were said to be digging a well, deeper than any
well or mine that man had ever made, seeking, it was
said, for treasures hidden in the earth since ever
the earth began.
These Children, said the popular magazines,
will level mountains, bridge seas, tunnel your earth
to a honeycomb. “Wonderful!” said
the little folks, “isn’t it? What
a lot of conveniences we shall have!” and went
about their business as though there was no such thing
as the Food of the Gods on earth. And indeed
these things were no more than the first hints and
promises of the powers of the Children of the Food.
It was still no more than child’s play with
them, no more than the first use of a strength in
which no purpose had arisen. They did not know
themselves for what they were. They were children slow-growing
children of a new race. The giant strength grew
day by day the giant will had still to
grow into purpose and an aim.
Looking at it in a shortened perspective
of time, those years of transition have the quality
of a single consecutive occurrence; but indeed no
one saw the coming of Bigness in the world, as no one
in all the world till centuries had passed saw, as
one happening, the Decline and Fall of Rome.
They who lived in those days were too much among these
developments to see them together as a single thing.
It seemed even to wise men that the Food was giving
the world nothing but a crop of unmanageable, disconnected
irrelevancies, that might shake and trouble indeed,
but could do no more to the established order and fabric
of mankind.
To one observer at least the most
wonderful thing throughout that period of accumulating
stress is the invincible inertia of the great mass
of people, their quiet persistence in all that ignored
the enormous presences, the promise of still more
enormous things, that grew among them. Just as
many a stream will be at its smoothest, will look most
tranquil, running deep and strong, at the very verge
of a cataract, so all that is most conservative in
man seemed settling quietly into a serene ascendency
during these latter days. Reaction became popular:
there was talk of the bankruptcy of science, of the
dying of Progress, of the advent of the Mandarins, talk
of such things amidst the echoing footsteps of the
Children of the Food. The fussy pointless Revolutions
of the old time, a vast crowd of silly little people
chasing some silly little monarch and the like, had
indeed died out and passed away; but Change had not
died out. It was only Change that had changed.
The New was coming in its own fashion and beyond the
common understanding of the world.
To tell fully of its coming would
be to write a great history, but everywhere there
was a parallel chain of happenings. To tell therefore
of the manner of its coming in one place is to tell
something of the whole. It chanced one stray
seed of Immensity fell into the pretty, petty village
of Cheasing Eyebright in Kent, and from the story of
its queer germination there and of the tragic futility
that ensued, one may attempt following
one thread, as it were to show the direction
in which the whole great interwoven fabric of the
thing rolled off the loom of Time.
II.-
Cheasing Eyebright had of course a
Vicar. There are vicars and vicars, and of all
sorts I love an innovating vicar a piebald
progressive professional reactionary the
least. But the Vicar of Cheasing Eyebright was
one of the least innovating of vicars, a most worthy,
plump, ripe, and conservative-minded little man.
It is becoming to go back a little in our story to
tell of him. He matched his village, and one may
figure them best together as they used to be, on the
sunset evening when Mrs. Skinner you will
remember her flight! brought the Food with
her all unsuspected into these rustic serenities.
The village was looking its very best
just then, under that western light. It lay down
along the valley beneath the beechwoods of the Hanger,
a beading of thatched and red-tiled cottages cottages
with trellised porches and pyracanthus-lined faces,
that clustered closer and closer as the road dropped
from the yew trees by the church towards the bridge.
The vicarage peeped not too ostentatiously between
the trees beyond the inn, an early Georgian front
ripened by time, and the spire of the church rose
happily in the depression made by the valley in the
outline of the hills. A winding stream, a thin
intermittency of sky blue and foam, glittered amidst
a thick margin of reeds and loosestrife and overhanging
willows, along the centre of a sinuous pennant of meadow.
The whole prospect had that curiously English quality
of ripened cultivation that look of still
completeness that apes perfection, under
the sunset warmth.
And the Vicar too looked mellow.
He looked habitually and essentially mellow, as though
he had been a mellow baby born into a mellow class,
a ripe and juicy little boy. One could see, even
before he mentioned it, that he had gone to an ivy-clad
public school in its anecdotage, with magnificent
traditions, aristocratic associations, and no chemical
laboratories, and proceeded thence to a venerable college
in the very ripest Gothic. Few books he had younger
than a thousand years; of these, Yarrow and Ellis
and good pre-Methodist sermons made the bulk.
He was a man of moderate height, a little shortened
in appearance by his equatorial dimensions, and a
face that had been mellow from the first was now climacterically
ripe. The beard of a David hid his redundancy
of chin; he wore no watch chain out of refinements
and his modest clerical garments were made by a West
End tailor.... And he sat with a hand on either
shin, blinking at his village in beatific approval.
He waved a plump palm towards it. His burthen
sang out again. What more could any one desire?
“We are fortunately situated,”
he said, putting the thing tamely.
“We are in a fastness of the hills,” he
expanded.
He explained himself at length. “We are
out of it all.”
For they had been talking, he and
his friend, of the Horrors of the Age, of Democracy,
and Secular Education, and Sky Scrapers, and Motor
Cars, and the American Invasion, the Scrappy Reading
of the Public, and the disappearance of any Taste
at all.
“We are out of it all,”
he repeated, and even as he spoke the footsteps of
some one coming smote upon his ear, and he rolled over
and regarded her.
You figure the old woman’s steadfastly
tremulous advance, the bundle clutched in her gnarled
lank hand, her nose (which was her countenance) wrinkled
with breathless resolution. You see the poppies
nodding fatefully on her bonnet, and the dust-white
spring-sided boots beneath her skimpy skirts, pointing
with an irrevocable slow alternation east and west.
Beneath her arm, a restive captive, waggled and slipped
a scarcely valuable umbrella. What was there
to tell the Vicar that this grotesque old figure was so
far as his village was concerned at any rate no
less than Fruitful Chance and the Unforeseen, the Hag
weak men call Fate. But for us, you understand,
no more than Mrs. Skinner.
As she was too much encumbered for
a curtsey, she pretended not to see him and his friend
at all, and so passed, flip-flop, within three yards
of them, onward down towards the village. The
Vicar watched her slow transit in silence, and ripened
a remark the while....
The incident seemed to him of no importance
whatever. Old womankind, aère perennius,
has carried bundles since the world began. What
difference has it made?
“We are out of it all,”
said the Vicar. “We live in an atmosphere
of simple and permanent things, Birth and Toil, simple
seed-time and simple harvest. The Uproar passes
us by.” He was always very great upon what
he called the permanent things. “Things
change,” he would say, “but Humanity aère
perennius.”
Thus the Vicar. He loved a classical
quotation subtly misapplied. Below, Mrs. Skinner,
inelegant but resolute, had involved herself curiously
with Wilmerding’s stile.
III.-
No one knows what the Vicar made of the Giant Puff-Balls.
No doubt he was among the first to
discover them. They were scattered at intervals
up and down the path between the near down and the
village end a path he frequented daily
in his constitutional round. Altogether, of these
abnormal fungi there were, from first to last, quite
thirty. The Vicar seems to have stared at each
severally, and to have prodded most of them with his
stick once or twice. One he attempted to measure
with his arms, but it burst at his Ixion embrace.
He spoke to several people about them,
and said they were “marvellous!” and he
related to at least seven different persons the well-known
story of the flagstone that was lifted from the cellar
floor by a growth of fungi beneath. He looked
up his Sowerby to see if it was Lycoperdon coelatum
or giganteum like all his kind since
Gilbert White became famous, he Gilbert-Whited.
He cherished a theory that giganteum is unfairly
named.
One does not know if he observed that
those white spheres lay in the very track that old
woman of yesterday had followed, or if he noted that
the last of the series swelled not a score of yards
from the gate of the Caddles’ cottage.
If he observed these things, he made no attempt to
place his observation on record. His observation
in matters botanical was what the inferior sort of
scientific people call a “trained observation” you
look for certain definite things and neglect everything
else. And he did nothing to link this phenomenon
with the remarkable expansion of the Caddles’
baby that had been going on now for some weeks, indeed
ever since Caddles walked over one Sunday afternoon
a month or more ago to see his mother-in-law and hear
Mr. Skinner (since defunct) brag about his management
of hens.
IV.-
The growth of the puff-balls following
on the expansion of the Caddles’ baby really
ought to have opened the Vicar’s eyes. The
latter fact had already come right into his arms at
the christening almost over-poweringly....
The youngster bawled with deafening
violence when the cold water that sealed its divine
inheritance and its right to the name of “Albert
Edward Caddles” fell upon its brow. It was
already beyond maternal porterage, and Caddles, staggering
indeed, but grinning triumphantly at quantitatively
inferior parents, bore it back to the free-sitting
occupied by his party.
“I never saw such a child!”
said the Vicar. This was the first public intimation
that the Caddles’ baby, which had begun its earthly
career a little under seven pounds, did after all
intend to be a credit to its parents. Very soon
it was clear it meant to be not only a credit but a
glory. And within a month their glory shone so
brightly as to be, in connection with people in the
Caddles’ position, improper.
The butcher weighed the infant eleven
times. He was a man of few words, and he soon
got through with them. The first time he said,
“E’s a good un;” the next time he
said, “My word!” the third time he said,
“Well, mum,” and after that he
simply blew enormously each time, scratched his head,
and looked at his scales with an unprecedented mistrust.
Every one came to see the Big Baby so it
was called by universal consent and most
of them said, “E’s a Bouncer,” and
almost all remarked to him, “Did they?”
Miss Fletcher came and said she “never did,”
which was perfectly true.
Lady Wondershoot, the village tyrant,
arrived the day after the third weighing, and inspected
the phenomenon narrowly through glasses that filled
it with howling terror. “It’s an unusually
Big child,” she told its mother, in a loud instructive
voice. “You ought to take unusual care
of it, Caddles. Of course it won’t go on
like this, being bottle fed, but we must do what we
can for it. I’ll send you down some more
flannel.”
The doctor came and measured the child
with a tape, and put the figures in a notebook, and
old Mr. Drift-hassock, who fanned by Up Marden, brought
a manure traveller two miles out of their way to look
at it. The traveller asked the child’s
age three times over, and said finally that he was
blowed. He left it to be inferred how and why
he was blowed; apparently it was the child’s
size blowed him. He also said it ought to be
put into a baby show. And all day long, out of
school hours, little children kept coming and saying,
“Please, Mrs. Caddles, mum, may we have a look
at your baby, please, mum?” until Mrs. Caddles
had to put a stop to it. And amidst all these
scenes of amazement came Mrs. Skinner, and stood and
smiled, standing somewhat in the background, with each
sharp elbow in a lank gnarled hand, and smiling, smiling
under and about her nose, with a smile of infinite
profundity.
“It makes even that old wretch
of a grandmother look quite pleasant,” said
Lady Wondershoot. “Though I’m sorry
she’s come back to the village.”
Of course, as with almost all cottagers’
babies, the eleemosynary element had already come
in, but the child soon made it clear by colossal bawling,
that so far as the filling of its bottle went, it
hadn’t come in yet nearly enough.
The baby was entitled to a nine days’
wonder, and every one wondered happily over its amazing
growth for twice that time and more. And then
you know, instead of its dropping into the background
and giving place to other marvels, it went on growing
more than ever!
Lady Wondershoot heard Mrs. Greenfield,
her housekeeper, with infinite amazement.
“Caddles downstairs again.
No food for the child! My dear Greenfield, it’s
impossible. The creature eats like a hippopotamus!
I’m sure it can’t be true.”
“I’m sure I hope you’re
not being imposed upon, my lady,” said Mrs.
Greenfield.
“It’s so difficult to
tell with these people,” said Lady Wondershoot.
“Now I do wish, my good Greenfield, that you’d
just go down there yourself this afternoon and see see
it have its bottle. Big as it is, I cannot imagine
that it needs more than six pints a day.”
“It hasn’t no business
to, my lady,” said Mrs. Greenfield.
The hand of Lady Wondershoot quivered,
with that C.O.S. sort of emotion, that suspicious
rage that stirs in all true aristocrats, at the thought
that possibly the meaner classes are after all as
mean as their betters, and where the sting
lies scoring points in the game.
But Mrs. Greenfield could observe
no evidence of peculation, and the order for an increasing
daily supply to the Caddles’ nursery was issued.
Scarcely had the first instalment gone, when Caddles
was back again at the great house in a state abjectly
apologetic.
“We took the greates’
care of ’em, Mrs. Greenfield, I do assure you,
mum, but he’s regular bust ’em! They
flew with such vilence, mum, that one button broke
a pane of the window, mum, and one hit me a regular
stinger jest ’ere, mum.”
Lady Wondershoot, when she heard that
this amazing child had positively burst out of its
beautiful charity clothes, decided that she must speak
to Caddles herself. He appeared in her presence
with his hair hastily wetted and smoothed by hand,
breathless, and clinging to his hat brim as though
it was a life-belt, and he stumbled at the carpet edge
out of sheer distress of mind.
Lady Wondershoot liked bullying Caddles.
Caddles was her ideal lower-class person, dishonest,
faithful, abject, industrious, and inconceivably incapable
of responsibility. She told him it was a serious
matter, the way his child was going on. “It’s
’is appetite, my ladyship,” said Caddles,
with a rising note.
“Check ’im, my ladyship,
you can’t,” said Caddles. “There
’e lies, my ladyship, and kicks out ’e
does, and ‘owls, that distressin’.
We ’aven’t the ’eart, my ladyship.
If we ’ad the neighbours would interfere....”
Lady Wondershoot consulted the parish doctor.
“What I want to know,”
said Lady Wondershoot, “is it right this
child should have such an extraordinary quantity of
milk?”
“The proper allowance for a
child of that age,” said the parish doctor,
“is a pint and a half to two pints in the twenty-four
hours. I don’t see that you are called
upon to provide more. If you do, it is your own
generosity. Of course we might try the legitimate
quantity for a few days. But the child, I must
admit, seems for some reason to be physiologically
different. Possibly what is called a Sport.
A case of General Hypertrophy.”
“It isn’t fair to the
other parish children,” said Lady Wondershoot.
“I am certain we shall have complaints if this
goes on.”
“I don’t see that any
one can be expected to give more than the recognised
allowance. We might insist on its doing with that,
or if it wouldn’t, send it as a case into the
Infirmary.”
“I suppose,” said Lady
Wondershoot, reflecting, “that apart from the
size and the appetite, you don’t find anything
else abnormal nothing monstrous?”
“No. No, I don’t.
But no doubt if this growth goes on, we shall find
grave moral and intellectual deficiencies. One
might almost prophesy that from Max Nordau’s
law. A most gifted and celebrated philosopher,
Lady Wondershoot. He discovered that the abnormal
is abnormal, a most valuable discovery,
and well worth bearing in mind. I find it of the
utmost help in practice. When I come upon anything
abnormal, I say at once, This is abnormal.”
His eyes became profound, his voice dropped, his manner
verged upon the intimately confidential. He raised
one hand stiffly. “And I treat it in that
spirit,” he said.
V.-
“Tut, tut!” said the Vicar
to his breakfast things the day after the
coming of Mrs. Skinner. “Tut, tut! what’s
this?” and poised his glasses at his paper with
a general air of remonstrance.
“Giant wasps! What’s
the world coming to? American journalists, I
suppose! Hang these Novelties! Giant gooseberries
are good enough for me.
“Nonsense!” said the Vicar,
and drank off his coffee at a gulp, eyes steadfast
on the paper, and smacked his lips incredulously.
“Bosh!” said the Vicar, rejecting the
hint altogether.
But the next day there was more of it, and the light
came.
Not all at once, however. When
he went for his constitutional that day he was still
chuckling at the absurd story his paper would have
had him believe. Wasps indeed killing
a dog! Incidentally as he passed by the site
of that first crop of puff-balls he remarked that the
grass was growing very rank there, but he did not
connect that in any way with the matter of his amusement.
“We should certainly have heard something of
it,” he said; “Whitstable can’t be
twenty miles from here.”
Beyond he found another puff-ball,
one of the second crop, rising like a roc’s
egg out of the abnormally coarsened turf.
The thing came upon him in a flash.
He did not take his usual round that
morning. Instead he turned aside by the second
stile and came round to the Caddles’ cottage.
“Where’s that baby?” he demanded,
and at the sight of it, “Goodness me!”
He went up the village blessing his
heart, and met the doctor full tilt coming down.
He grasped his arm. “What does this mean?”
he said. “Have you seen the paper these
last few days?”
The doctor said he had.
“Well, what’s the matter
with that child? What’s the matter with
everything wasps, puff-balls, babies, eh?
What’s making them grow so big? This is
most unexpected. In Kent too! If it was America
now ”
“It’s a little difficult
to say just what it is,” said the doctor.
“So far as I can grasp the symptoms ”
“Yes?”
“It’s Hypertrophy General Hypertrophy.”
“Hypertrophy?”
“Yes. General affecting
all the bodily structures all the organism.
I may say that in my own mind, between ourselves,
I’m very nearly convinced it’s that....
But one has to be careful.”
“Ah,” said the Vicar,
a good deal relieved to find the doctor equal to the
situation. “But how is it it’s breaking
out in this fashion, all over the place?”
“That again,” said the doctor, “is
difficult to say.”
“Urshot. Here. It’s a pretty
clear case of spreading.”
“Yes,” said the doctor.
“Yes. I think so. It has a strong resemblance
at any rate to some sort of epidemic. Probably
Epidemic Hypertrophy will meet the case.”
“Epidemic!” said the Vicar. “You
don’t mean it’s contagious?”
The doctor smiled gently and rubbed
one hand against the other. “That I couldn’t
say,” he said.
“But –!”
cried the Vicar, round-eyed. “If it’s
catching it it affects
us!”
He made a stride up the road and turned about.
“I’ve just been there,”
he cried. “Hadn’t I better –?
I’ll go home at once and have a bath and fumigate
my clothes.”
The doctor regarded his retreating
back for a moment, and then turned about and went
towards his own house....
But on the way he reflected that one
case had been in the village a month without any one
catching the disease, and after a pause of hesitation
decided to be as brave as a doctor should be and take
the risks like a man.
And indeed he was well advised by
his second thoughts. Growth was the last thing
that could ever happen to him again. He could
have eaten and the Vicar could have eaten Herakleophorbia
by the truckful. For growth had done with them.
Growth had done with these two gentlemen for evermore.
VI.-
It was a day or so after this conversation a
day or so, that is, after the burning of the Experimental
Farm that Winkles came to Redwood and showed
him an insulting letter. It was an anonymous letter,
and an author should respect his character’s
secrets. “You are only taking credit for
a natural phenomenon,” said the letter, “and
trying to advertise yourself by your letter to the
Times. You and your Boomfood! Let
me tell you, this absurdly named food of yours has
only the most accidental connection with those big
wasps and rats. The plain fact is there is an
epidemic of Hypertrophy Contagious Hypertrophy which
you have about as much claim to control as you have
to control the solar system. The thing is as
old as the hills. There was Hypertrophy in the
family of Anak. Quite outside your range, at Cheasing
Eyebright, at the present time there is a baby ”
“Shaky up and down writing.
Old gentleman apparently,” said Redwood.
“But it’s odd a baby ”
He read a few lines further, and had an inspiration.
“By Jove!” said he. “That’s
my missing Mrs. Skinner!”
He descended upon her suddenly in the afternoon of
the following day.
She was engaged in pulling onions
in the little garden before her daughter’s cottage
when she saw him coming through the garden gate.
She stood for a moment “consternated,”
as the country folks say, and then folded her arms,
and with the little bunch of onions held defensively
under her left elbow, awaited his approach. Her
mouth opened and shut several times; she mumbled her
remaining tooth, and once quite suddenly she curtsied,
like the blink of an arc-light.
“I thought I should find you,” said Redwood.
“I thought you might, sir,” she said,
without joy.
“Where’s Skinner?”
“’E ain’t never
written to me, Sir, not once, nor come nigh of me since
I came here. Sir.”
“Don’t you know what’s become of
him?”
“Him not having written, no,
Sir,” and she edged a step towards the left
with an imperfect idea of cutting off Redwood from
the barn door.
“No one knows what has become of him,”
said Redwood.
“I dessay ’e knows,” said
Mrs. Skinner.
“He doesn’t tell.”
“He was always a great one for
looking after ’imself and leaving them that
was near and dear to ’im in trouble, was Skinner.
Though clever as could be,” said Mrs. Skinner....
“Where’s this child?” asked Redwood
abruptly.
She begged his pardon.
“This child I hear about, the
child you’ve been giving our stuff to the
child that weighs two stone.”
Mrs. Skinner’s hands worked,
and she dropped the onions. “Reely, Sir,”
she protested, “I don’t hardly know, Sir,
what you mean. My daughter, Sir, Mrs. Caddles,
’as a baby, Sir.” And she made
an agitated curtsey and tried to look innocently inquiring
by tilting her nose to one side.
“You’d better let me see that baby, Mrs.
Skinner,” said Redwood.
Mrs. Skinner unmasked an eye at him
as she led the way towards the barn. “Of
course, Sir, there may ’ave been a little,
in a little can of Nicey I give his father to bring
over from the farm, or a little perhaps what I happened
to bring about with me, so to speak. Me packing
in a hurry and all ...”
“Um!” said Redwood, after
he had cluckered to the infant for a space. “Oom!”
He told Mrs. Caddles the baby was
a very fine child indeed, a thing that was getting
well home to her intelligence and he ignored
her altogether after that. Presently she left
the barn through sheer insignificance.
“Now you’ve started him,
you’ll have to keep on with him, you know,”
he said to Mrs. Skinner.
He turned on her abruptly. “Don’t
splash it about this time,” he said.
“Splash it about, Sir?”
“Oh! you know.”
She indicated knowledge by convulsive gestures.
“You haven’t told these
people here? The parents, the squire and so on
at the big house, the doctor, no one?”
Mrs. Skinner shook her head.
“I wouldn’t,” said Redwood....
He went to the door of the barn and
surveyed the world about him. The door of the
barn looked between the end of the cottage and some
disused piggeries through a five-barred gate upon
the highroad. Beyond was a high, red brick-wall
rich with ivy and wallflower and pennywort, and set
along the top with broken glass. Beyond the corner
of the wall, a sunlit notice-board amidst green and
yellow branches reared itself above the rich tones
of the first fallen leaves and announced that “Trespassers
in these Woods will be Prosecuted.” The
dark shadow of a gap in the hedge threw a stretch
of barbed wire into relief.
“Um,” said Redwood, then in a deeper note,
“Oom!”
There came a clatter of horses and
the sound of wheels, and Lady Wondershoot’s
greys came into view. He marked the faces of coachman
and footman as the equipage approached. The coachman
was a very fine specimen, full and fruity, and he
drove with a sort of sacramental dignity. Others
might doubt their calling and position in the world,
he at any rate was sure he drove her ladyship.
The footman sat beside him with folded arms and a
face of inflexible certainties. Then the great
lady herself became visible, in a hat and mantle disdainfully
inelegant, peering through her glasses. Two young
ladies protruded necks and peered also.
The Vicar passing on the other side
swept off the hat from his David’s brow unheeded....
Redwood remained standing in the doorway
for a long time after the carriage had passed, his
hands folded behind him. His eyes went to the
green, grey upland of down, and into the cloud-curdled
sky, and came back to the glass-set wall. He
turned upon the cool shadows within, and amidst spots
and blurs of colour regarded the giant child amidst
that Rembrandtesque gloom, naked except for a swathing
of flannel, seated upon a huge truss of straw and
playing with its toes.
“I begin to see what we have done,” he
said.
He mused, and young Caddles and his
own child and Cossar’s brood mingled in his
musing.
He laughed abruptly. “Good
Lord!” he said at some passing thought.
He roused himself presently and addressed
Mrs. Skinner. “Anyhow he mustn’t
be tortured by a break in his food. That at least
we can prevent. I shall send you a can every
six months. That ought to do for him all right.”
Mrs. Skinner mumbled something about
“if you think so, Sir,” and “probably
got packed by mistake.... Thought no harm in giving
him a little,” and so by the aid of various
aspen gestures indicated that she understood.
So the child went on growing.
And growing.
“Practically,” said Lady
Wondershoot, “he’s eaten up every calf
in the place. If I have any more of this sort
of thing from that man Caddles ”
VII.-
But even so secluded a place as Cheasing
Eyebright could not rest for long in the theory of
Hypertrophy Contagious or not in
view of the growing hubbub about the Food. In
a little while there were painful explanations for
Mrs. Skinner explanations that reduced her
to speechless mumblings of her remaining tooth explanations
that probed her and ransacked her and exposed her until
at last she was driven to take refuge from a universal
convergence of blame in the dignity of inconsolable
widowhood. She turned her eye which
she constrained to be watery upon the angry
Lady of the Manor, and wiped suds from her hands.
“You forget, my lady, what I’m bearing
up under.”
And she followed up this warning note with a slightly
defiant:
“It’s ’IM I think of, my lady, night
and day.”
She compressed her lips, and her voice
flattened and faltered: “Bein’ et,
my lady.”
And having established herself on
these grounds, she repeated the affirmation her ladyship
had refused before. “I ’ad no more
idea what I was giving the child, my lady, than any
one could ’ave....”
Her ladyship turned her mind in more
hopeful directions, wigging Caddles of course tremendously
by the way. Emissaries, full of diplomatic threatenings,
entered the whirling lives of Bensington and Redwood.
They presented themselves as Parish Councillors, stolid
and clinging phonographically to prearranged statements.
“We hold you responsible, Mister Bensington,
for the injury inflicted upon our parish, Sir.
We hold you responsible.”
A firm of solicitors, with a snake
of a style Banghurst, Brown, Flapp, Codlin,
Brown, Tedder, and Snoxton, they called themselves,
and appeared invariably in the form of a small rufous
cunning-looking gentleman with a pointed nose said
vague things about damages, and there was a polished
personage, her ladyship’s agent, who came in
suddenly upon Redwood one day and asked, “Well,
Sir, and what do you propose to do?”
To which Redwood answered that he
proposed to discontinue supplying the food for the
child, if he or Bensington were bothered any further
about the matter. “I give it for nothing
as it is,” he said, “and the child will
yell your village to ruins before it dies if you don’t
let it have the stuff. The child’s on your
hands, and you have to keep it. Lady Wondershoot
can’t always be Lady Bountiful and Earthly Providence
of her parish without sometimes meeting a responsibility,
you know.”
“The mischief’s done,”
Lady Wondershoot decided when they told her with
expurgations what Redwood had said.
“The mischief’s done,” echoed the
Vicar.
Though indeed as a matter of fact the mischief was
only beginning.