THE OUTER WORLD - CHAPTER VII.
“Martha’s Vineyard.
“Dear Auntie Rachel: Tell
grandpa, to begin with, that John Storm preached his
first sermon on Wednesday last, and, according to programme,
I was there to hear it. Oh, God bless me!
What a time I had of it! He broke down in the
middle, taking stage fright or pulpit fright or some
such devilry, though there was nothing to be afraid
of except a bandboxful of chattering girls who didn’t
listen, and a few old fogies with ear-trumpets.
I was sitting in the darkness at the back, effectually
concealed from the preacher by the broad shoulders
of Ward Sister Allworthy, who is an example of ‘delicate
femaleism’ just verging on old-maidenism.
They tell me the ‘discoorse’ was a short
one, but I never got so many prayers into the time
in all my born days, and my breath was coming and
going so fast that the Sister must have thought they
had set up a pumping-engine in the pew behind her.
Our poor, heavy-laden Mr. Storm has been here since
then with his sad and eager face, but I hadn’t
the stuff in me to tell him the truth about the sermon,
so I told him I had forgotten to go and hear it, and
may the Lord have mercy on my soul!
“You want to know how I employ
my time? Well, lest you should think I give up
my days to dreams and my nights to idleness, I hasten
to tell that I rise at 6, breakfast at 6.30, begin
duty at 7, sup at 9.30 P.M., gossip till 10, and then
go into my room and put myself to bed; and there I
am at the end of it. Being only a probationer,
I am chiefly in the out-patient department, where
my duties are to collect the things wanted at the
dispensary, make the patients ready to see the surgeon,
and pass them on to the dressers. My patients
at present are the children, and I love them, and
shall break my heart when I have to leave them.
They are not always too well looked after by the surgeon,
but that doesn’t matter in the least, because,
you see, they are constantly watched by the best and
most learned doctor in the worldthat’s
me.
“Last Saturday I had my first
experience of the operating theatre. Gracious
goodness! I thought I shouldn’t survive
it. Fortunately, I had my dressings and sponges
to look after, so I just stiffened my back with a
sort of imaginary six-foot steel bar, and went on ‘like
blazes.’ But some of these staff nurses
are just ‘ter’ble’; they take a professional
pleasure in descending to that inferno, and wouldn’t
miss a ‘theatre’ for worlds. On Saturday
it was a little boy of five who had his leg amputated,
and now when you ask the white-faced darling where
he’s going to he says he’s going to the
angels, and he’ll get lots of gristly pork up
there. He is too.
“The personnel of our
vineyard is abundant, but there are various sour grapes
growing about. We have a medical school (containing
lots of nice boys, only a girl may not speak to them
even in the corridors), and a full staff of honorary
and visiting physicians and surgeons. But the
only doctor we really have much to do with is the
house surgeon, a young fellow who has just finished
his student’s course. His name is Abery,
and since Saturday he has so much respect for Glory
that she might even swear in his presence (in Manx),
but Sister Allworthy takes care that she doesn’t,
having designs on his celibacy herself. He must
have sung his Te Deum after the operation,
for he got gloriously drunk and wanted to inject morphia
in a patient recovering from trouble of the kidney.
It was an old hippopotamus of a German musician named
Koenig, and he was in a frantic terror. So I
whispered to him to pretend to go to sleep, and then
I told the doctor I had lost the syringe. But’Gough
bless me sowl!’what a dressing the
Sister gave me!
“Yesterday was visiting-day,
and when the friends of the patients come even an
hospital can have its humours. They try to sneak
in little dainties which may be delicious in themselves,
but are deadly poison to the people they are intended
for. Then we have to search under the bedclothes
of the patients, and even feel the pockets of their
visitors. The mother of my little boy came yesterday,
and I noticed such a large protuberance at her bosom
under her ulster that I began to foresee another operation.
It was only a brick of currant cake, paved with lemon
peel. I hauled it out and moved round like a cloud
of thunder and lightning. But she began to cry
and to say she had made it herself for Johnnie, and
thenwell, didn’t I just get a wigging
from the Sister, though!
“But I don’t mind what
happens here, for I am in London, and to be in London
is to live, and to live is to be in London. I’ve
not seen much of it yet, having only two hours off
duty every dayfrom ten to twelveand
then all I can do is to make little dips into the park
and the district round about, like a new pigeon with
its wings clipped. But I watch the great new
world from my big box up here, and see the carriages
in the park and the people riding on horseback.
They have a new handshake in London. You lift
your hand to the level of your shoulder, and then waggle
horizontally as if you had put your elbow out; and
when you begin to speak you say, ‘Ier’
as if you had got the mumps. But it is beautiful!
The sound of the traffic is like music, and I feel
like a war-horse that wants to be marching to it.
How delightful it is to be young in a world so full
of loveliness! And if you are not very ugly it’s
none the worse.
“All hospital nurses are just
now basking in the sunshine of a forthcoming ball.
It is to be given at Bartimaeus’s Hospital, where
they have a lecture theatre larger than the common,
and the dancing there is for once to be to a happier
tune. All the earth is to be presentall
the hospital earthand if I could afford
to array myself in the necessary splendour, I should
show this benighted London what an absolute angel
Glory is! But then my first full holiday is to
be on the 24th, when I expect to be out from 10 A.
M. until 10 P. M. I am nearly crazy whenever I think
of it, and when the time comes to make my first plunge
into London, I know I shall hold my breath exactly
as if I were taking a header off Creg Malin rocks....
Glory.”