When Philip was fit to go out, they
brought up a carriage and drove him round the bay.
The town had awakened from its winter sleep, and the
harbour was a busy and cheerful scene. More than
a hundred men had come from their crofts in the country,
and were making their boats ready for the mackerel-fishing
at Kinsale. There was a forest of masts where
the flat hulls had been, the taffrails and companions
were touched up with paint, and the newly-barked nets
were being hauled over the quay.
“Good morning, Dempster,” cried the men.
They all saluted him, and some of
them, after their Manx fashion, drew up at the carriage-door,
lifted their caps with their tarry hands, and said
“Taking joy to see you out again,
Dempster. When a man’s getting over an
attack like that, it’s middling clear the Lord’s
got work for him.”
Philip answered with smiles and bows
and cheerful words, but the kindness oppressed him.
He was thinking of Kate. She was the victim of
his success. For all that he received she had
paid the penalty. He thought of her dreams, her
golden dreams, her dreams of going up side by side
and hand in hand with the man she loved. “Oh,
my love, my love!” he murmured. “Only
a little longer.”
The doctor was waiting for him when he reached home.
“I have something to say to
you, Deemster,” he said, with averted face.
“It’s about your aunt.”
“Is she ill?” said Philip. “Very
ill.”
“But I’ve inquired daily.”
“By her express desire the truth has been kept
back from you.”
“The carriage is still at the door ”
began Philip.
“I’ve never seen any one
sink so rapidly. She’s all nerve. No
doubt the nursing exhausted her.”
“It’s not that I’ll go
up immediately.”
“She was to expect you at five.”
“I cannot wait,” said
Philip, and in a moment he was on the road. “O
God!” he thought, “how steep is the path
I have to tread.”
On getting to Ballure, he pushed through
the hall and stepped upstairs. At the door of
Auntie Nan’s bedroom he was met by Martha, the
housemaid, now the nurse. She looked surprised,
and made some nervous show of shutting him out.
Before she could dc so he was already in the room.
The air was heavy with the smell of medicines and
vinegar and the odours of sick life.
“Hush!” said Martha, with a movement of
lips and eyebrows.
Auntie Nan was asleep in a half-sitting
position on the bed. It was a shock to see the
change in her. The beautiful old face was white
and drawn with pain; the chin was hanging heavily;
the eyes were half open; there was no cap on her head;
her hair was straggling loosely and was dull as tow.
“She must be very ill,” said Philip under
his breath.
“Very,” said Martha. “She wasn’t
expecting you until five, sir.”
“Has the doctor told her? Does she know?”
“Yes, sir; but she doesn’t
mind that. She knows she’s dying, and is
quite resigned quite and quite
cheerful but she fears if you knew hush!”
There was a movement on the bed.
“She’ll be shocked if
she and she’s not ready to receive in
here, sir,” whispered Martha, and she motioned
to the back of a screen that stood between the door
and the bed.
There was a deep sigh, a sound as
of the moistening of dry lips, and then the voice
of Auntie Nan not her own familiar voice,
but a sort of vanishing echo of it. “What
is the time, Martha?”
“Twenty minutes wanting five, ma’am.”
“So late! It wasn’t
nice of you to let me sleep so long, Martha. I’m
expecting the Governor at five. What a mercy he
hasn’t come earlier. It wouldn’t
be right to keep him waiting, and then bring
me the sponge, girl. Moisten it first. Now
the towel. The comb next. That’s better.
How lifeless my hair is, though. Oil, you say?
I wonder! I’ve never used it in my life:
but at a time like this well, just a little,
then there, that will do. Bring me
a cap the one with the pink bow in it.
My face is so pale it will give me a little
colour. That will do. You couldn’t
tell I had been ill, could you? Not very ill,
anyway? Now side everything away. The medicines
too put them in the cupboard. So many
bottles. ‘How ill she must have been!’
he would say. And now open the drawer on the
left, Martha, the one with the key in it, and bring
me the paper on the top. Yes, the white paper.
The folded one with the endorsement. Endorsement
means writing on the back, Martha. Ah! I’ve
lived all my life among lawyers. Lay it on the
counterpane. The keys? Lay them beside it.
No, put them behind my pillow, just at my back.
Yes, there lower, though, deeper still that’s
right. Now set a chair, so that he can sit beside
me. This side of the bed no, this side.
Then the light will be on him, and I will be able
to see his face my eyes are not so good
as they were, you know. A little farther back not
quite so much, neither that will do.
Ah!”
There was a long breath of satisfaction,
and then Auntie Nan said
“I suppose it’s what
time is it now, Martha?”
“Ten minutes wanting five, ma’am.”
“Did you tell Jane about the
cutlets? He likes them with bread-crumbs, you
know. I hope she won’t forget to say ‘Your
Excellency.’ I shall hear his voice the
moment he comes into the hall. My ears are no
worse, if my eyes are. Perhaps he won’t
speak, though, ‘She’s been so ill,’
he’ll think. Martha, I think you had better
open the door. Jane is so forgetful. She
might say things, too. If he asks, ’How
is she to-day, Martha’’ you must answer
quite brightly, ’Better to-day, your Excellency.’”
There was an exclamation of pain.
“Oh! Ugh Oo! Oh, blessed
Lord Jesus!”
“Are you sure you are well enough, ma’am?
Hadn’t I better tell him ”
“No, I’ll be worse to-morrow,
and the next day worse still. Give me a dose
of medicine, Martha the morning medicine the
one that makes me cheerful. Thank you, Martha.
If I feel the pain when he is here, I’ll bear
it as long as I can, and then I’ll say, ’I’m
finding myself drowsy, Philip; you had better go and
lie down.’ Will you understand that, Martha?”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Martha.
“I’m afraid we must be
a little deceitful, Martha. But we can’t
help that, can we? You see he has to be installed
yet, and that is always a great excitement. If
he thought I was very ill, now very,
very ill, you know yes, I really think
he would wish to postpone it, and I wouldn’t
have that for worlds and worlds. He has always
been so fond of his old auntie. Well, it’s
the way with these boys. I daresay people wonder
why he has never married, being so great and so prosperous.
That was for my sake. He knew I should ”
Philip was breathing heavily.
Auntie Nan listened. “I’m sure there’s
somebody in the hall, Martha. Is it ?
Yes, it’s ; Go down to him
quick ”
“Yes, ma’am,” said
Martha, making a noise with the screen to cover Philip’s
escape on tiptoe. Then she came to him on the
landing, wiping her eyes with her apron, and pretended
to lead Philip back to the room.
“My boy! my boy!” cried
Auntie Nan, and she folded him in her arms.
The transformation was wonderful.
She had a look of youth now, almost a look of gaiety.
“I’ve heard the great, great news,”
she whispered, taking his hand.
“That’s only a rumour,
Auntie,” said Philip. “Are you better?”
“Oh, but it will come true.
Yes, yes, I’m better. I’m sure it
will come true. And, dear heart, what a triumph!
I dreamt it all the night before I heard of it.
You were on the top of the Tynwald, and there was a
great crowd. But come and sit down and tell me
everything. So you are better yourself?
Quite strong again, dear? Oh, yes, any where,
Philip-sit anywhere. Here, this chair will do this
one by my side. Ah! How well you look!”
She was carried away by her own gaiety.
Leaning back on the pillow, but still keeping his
hand in hers, she said, “Do you know, Philip
Christian, who is the happiest person in the world?
I’m sure you don’t, for all you’re
so clever. So I’ll tell you. Perhaps
you think it’s a beautiful young wife just married
to a husband who worships her. Well, you’re
quite, quite wrong, sir. It’s an old, old
lady, very, very old, and very feeble, just tottering
on, and not expecting to live a great while longer,
but with her sons about her, grown up, and big, and
strong, and having all the world before them.
That’s the happiest person on earth. And
I’m the next thing to it, for my boy my
own boy’s boy –”
She broke off, and then, with a far-off
look, she said, “I wonder will he think I’ve
done my duty!”
“Who?” asked Philip.
“Your father,” she answered.
Then she turned to the maid and said,
quite gaily, “You needn’t wait, Martha.
His Excellency will call you when I want my medicine.
Won’t you, your Excellency?”
Philip could not find it in his heart
to correct her again. The girl left the room.
Auntie Nan glanced at the closing door, then reached
over to Philip with an air of great mystery, and whispered
“You mustn’t be shocked,
Philip, or surprised, or fancy I’m very ill,
or that I’m going to die; but what do you think
I’ve done?”
“Nay, what?”
“I’ve made my will! Is that very
terrible?”
“You’ve done right, Auntie,” said
Philip.
“Yes, the High Bailiff has been
up and everything is in order, every little thing.
See,” and she lifted the paper that the maid
had laid on the counterpane. “Let me tell
you.” She nodded her head as she ran over
the items. “Some little legacies first,
you know. There’s Martha, such a good girl I’ve
left her my silk dresses. Then old Mary, the housemaid
at Ballawhaine. Poor old thing! she’s been
down with rheumatism three years, and flock beds get
so lumpy I’ve left her my feather
one. I thought at first I should like you to
have my little income. Do you know, your old
auntie is quite an old miser. I’ve grown
so fond of my little money. And it seemed so
sweet to think but then you don’t
want it now, Philip. It would be nothing to you,
would it? I’ve been thinking, though now,
what do you think I’ve been thinking of doing
with my little fortune?”
Philip stroked the wrinkled fingers with his other
hand.
“What’s right, I’m sure, Auntie.
What is it?”
“You would never guess.” “No?”
“I’ve been thinking,”
with sudden gravity. “Philip, there’s
nobody in the world so unhappy as a poor gentlewoman
who has slipped and fallen. Then this one’s
father, he has turned his back on her, they’re
telling me, and of course she can’t expect anything
from her husband. I’ve been thinking, now ”
“Yes?” said Philip, with his eyes down.
“To tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking
it would be so nice ”
And then, nervously, faltering, in
a quavering voice, with many excuses, out came the
great secret, the mighty strategy. Auntie Nan
had willed her fortune to Kate.
“You’re an angel, Auntie,” said
Philip in a thick voice.
But he saw through her artifice.
She was talking of Kate, but she was thinking of himself.
She was trying to relieve him of an embarrassment;
to remove an impediment that lay in his path; to liberate
his conscience; to cover up his fault; to conceal
everything.
“And then this house, dear,”
said Auntie Nan. “It’s yours, but
you’ll never want it. It’s been a
dear little harbour of refuge, but the storm is over
now. Would you do you see any objection perhaps
you might could you not let the poor soul
come and live here with her little one, after I when
all is over, I mean and she is eh?”
Philip could not speak. He took
the wrinkled hand and drew it up to his lips.
The old soul was beside herself with
joy. “Then you’re sure I’ve
done right? Quite sure? Lock it up in the
drawer again, dearest The top one on the left.
Oh, the keys? Dear me, yes; where are the keys?
How tiresome! I remember now. They’re
at the back of my pillow. Will you call Martha?
Or perhaps you would yourself will you?”
(very artfully) “you don’t
mind then? Yes, that’s it; more this way,
though, a little more ah! My boy!
my boy!”
The old dove’s second strategy
had succeeded also. In fumbling behind her pillow
for the keys, Philip had to put his arms about her
again, and she was kissing him on the forehead and
on the cheeks.
Then came a spasm of pain. It
dragged at her features, but her smile struggled through
it. She fetched a difficult breath, and said
“And now dear I’m
finding myself a little drowsy how
selfish of me your cutlets browned nicely
browned breadcrumbs, you know ”
Philip fled from the room and summoned
Martha. He wandered aimlessly about the house
for hours that night. At one moment he found himself
in the blue room, Auntie Nan’s workroom, so full
of her familiar things the spinning-wheel,
the frame of the sampler, the old-fashioned piano,
the scent of lavender all the little evidences
of her presence, so dainty, so orderly, so sweet A
lamp was burning for the convenience of the doctor,
but there was no fire.
The doctor came again towards ten
o’clock. There was nothing to be done;
nothing to be hoped; still she might live until morning,
if
At midnight Philip crept noiselessly
to the bedroom. The condition was unaltered.
He was going to lie down, but wished to be awakened
if there was any change.
It was long before he dropped off,
and he seemed to have slept only a moment when there
was a knocking at his door. He heard it while
he was still sleeping. The dawn had broken, the
streamers of the sun were rising out of the sea.
A sparrow in the garden was hacking the air with its
monotonous chirp.
Auntie Nan was far spent, yet the
dragging expression of pain was gone, and a serenity
almost angelic overspread her face. When she recognised
Philip she felt for his hand, guided it to her heart,
and kept it there. Only a few words did she speak,
for her breath was short. She commended her soul
to God. Then, with a look of pallid sunshine,
she beckoned to Philip. He stooped his ear to
her lips, and she whispered, “Hush, dearest!
Never tell any one, for nobody ever knew ever
dreamt but I loved your father and God
gave him to me in you.”
The dear old dove had delivered herself
of her last great secret. Philip put his lips
to her cheek, iced already over the damps and chills
of death. Then the eyes closed, the sweet old
head slid back, the lips changed their colour, but
still lay open as with a smile. Thus died Auntie
Nan, peacefully, hopefully, trustfully, almost joyfully,
in the fulness of her love and of her pride.
“O God,” thought Philip,
“let me go on with my task. Give me strength
to withstand the temptation of love like this.”
Her love had tempted him all his life
His father had been twenty years dead, but she had
kept his spirit alive his aims, his ambitions,
his fears, and the lessons of his life. There
lay the beginnings of his ruin, his degradation, and
the first cause of his deep duplicity. He had
recovered everything that had been lost; he had gained
all that his little world could give; and what was
the worth of it? What was the price he had paid
for it? “What shall it profit a man if he
gain the whole world and lose his own soul?”
Philip put his lips to the cold forehead.
“Sweet soul, forgive me! God strengthen
me! Let me not fail at this last moment.”