Marshall Haney was a brave man, and
his resolution was fully taken, but that final touch
of Bertha’s hand upon his arm very nearly unnerved
him. His courage abruptly fell away, and, leaning
back against the cushions of his carriage, with closed
eyelids (from which the hot tears dripped), he gave
himself up to the temptation of a renewal of his life.
It was harder to go, infinitely harder, because of
that impulsive, sweet caress. Her face was so
beautiful, too, with that upward, tender, pitying
look upon it!
While still he sat weak and hesitant,
a roughly dressed man of large and decisive movement
stopped and greeted him. “Hello, Mart, how
are you this fine day?”
Haney put his tragic mask away with
a stroke of his hand, and hastily replied: “Comin’
along, Dan, comin’ along. How are things
up on the peak?”
“Still pretty mixed,”
replied the miner, lightly; then, with a further look
around, he stepped a little nearer the wheel.
“Hell’s about to break loose again, Mart.”
“What’s the latest?”
“I can’t go into details,
and I mustn’t be seen talking with you, but
Williams is in for trouble. Tell him to reverse
engine for a few weeks. Good-day,” and
he walked off, leaving the impression of having been
sent to convey a friendly warning.
Haney seized upon this message.
His resolution returned. His voice took on edge
and decision. “Oscar,” he called quickly,
“drive me down to the station, I want to get
that ten-thirty-seven train.”
As the driver chirruped to his horses
and swung out into the street, Marshall Haney, with
full understanding that this was to be his eternal
farewell, turned and looked up, hoping to catch a last
glimpse of his wife’s sweet face at the window.
A sign, a smile, a beckoning, and his purpose might
still have faltered, but the recall did not take place,
and facing the west he became again the man of will.
When the carriage drew up to the platform he gave
orders to his coachman as quietly as though this were
his usual morning ride. “Now, Oscar, you
heard what that friend of mine said?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Well, forget it.”
“Very well, sir.”
“But tell Mrs. Haney I’ve
gone up to the mine. You can say to her that
Williams sent for me. You can tell her, but to
no one else, what you heard Dan say. You understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“All right, that stands.
Now you go home and wait till about twelve-thirty.
Then go down for Mrs. Haney.”
The coachman, a stolid, reliable man,
well trained to his duties, did not offer to assist
his master, but sat in most approved alertness upon
his box while Haney painfully descended to the walk.
The train was about to move, and the
conductor had already signalled the engineer to “go
ahead,” but at sight of the gambler, whom he
knew, stopped the train and helped Haney aboard.
“A minute more and you would have been left.
Going up to the mine, I reckon?”
They were still on the platform as
Mart answered, “Yes, I’m due to take a
hand in the game up there.” He said this
with intent to cover his trail.
He was all but breathless as he dropped
into a seat near the door. The sense of leaden
weakness with which he had come to struggle daily had
deepened at the moment into a smothering pain which
threatened to blind him.
“I must be quiet,” he
thought “I will not die in the car.”
There seemed something disgraceful, something ignominious
in such a death.
Gradually his fear of this misfortune
grew less. “What does it matter where death
comes or when it comes? The quicker the better
for all concerned.”
Nevertheless, he opened the little
phial of medicine which Steele had given him and swallowed
two of the pellets. That they were a powerful
stimulant of the heart he knew, but that an overdose
would kill he only suspected from Steele’s word
of caution.
They were, indeed, magical in their
effect. His brain cleared, his pulse grew stronger,
and the feeling of benumbing weakness which dismayed
him passed away.
The conductor, on his round, found
him sitting silently at the window, very pale and
very stern, his eyes fixed upon the brawling stream
along whose winding course the railway climbed.
While noting the number of Mart’s pass the official
leaned over and spoke in a low voice, but Haney heard
what he said as through a mist. He was no longer
moved by the sound of the bugle. A labor war
was temporary, like a storm in the pines. It
might arrest the mining for a few weeks or a month,
but through it all, no matter what happened, deep
down in the earth lay Bertha’s wealth, secure
of any marauder. So much he was able to reason
out.
One or two of the passengers who knew
him drew near, civilly inquiring as to his health,
and to each one he explained that he was on the gain
and that he was going up to the camp to study conditions
for himself. They were all greatly excited by
the news of battle, but they did not succeed in conveying
their emotion to Haney. With impassive countenance
he listened, and at the end remarked: “’Tis
all of a stripe to me, boys. I’m like the
soldier on the battle-field with both legs shot off.
I hear the shouting and the tumult, but I’m
out of the running.”
Without understanding his mood, they
withdrew, leaving him alone. His mind went back
to Bertha. “What will she do when she finds
me gone? She will not be scared at first.
She will wire to stop me; but no matter before
she can reach me, I’ll be high in the hills.”
He could not prevent his mind from
dwelling on her. He tried to fix his thoughts
upon his life as a boyish adventurer, but could not
keep to those earlier periods of his career.
All of his days before meeting her seemed base or
trivial or purposeless. She filled his memory
to the exclusion of all other loves and desires.
She was at once his wife and his child. He possessed
a thousand bright pictures of her swift and graceful
body, her sunny smile, her sweet, grave eyes.
He recalled the first time he saw her on the street
in Sibley, and groaned to think how basely he had
planned against her. “She never knew that,
thank God!” he said, fervently.
Then came that unforgetable drive
to the ranch, when she put her hand in his and
on this hour he dwelt long, searching his mind deeply
in order that no grain of its golden store of incident
should escape him. His throat again began to
ache with a full sense of the loss he was inflicting
upon himself. “‘Tis a lonely trail I’m
takin’ for your sake, darlin’,”
he whispered, “but ’tis all for the best.”
Slowly the train creaked and circled
up the heights, following the sharp turnings of the
stream, passing small towns which were in effect summer
camps of pleasure-seekers, on and upward into the moist
heights where the grass was yet green and the slopes
gay with flowers. A mood of exaltation came upon
the doomed man as he rose. This was the place
to die up here where the affairs of men
sank into insignificance like the sound of the mills
and the rumble of trains. Here the centuries circled
like swallows and the personal was lost in the ocean
of silence.
At one of these towns which stood
almost at the summit of the pass the conductor brought
a telegram, and Mart seized it with eager, trembling
hands. It was (as he expected) a warning from
Bertha. She implored him to let the mine go and
to return by the next train.
He was too nerveless of fingers to
put the sheet back within its envelope, and so thrust
it, a crumpled mass, into his pocket. It was as
if her hand was at his shoulder, her voice in his ear,
but he did not falter. To go back now would be
but a renewal of his torture. There could not
come a better time to go to go and leave
no suspicion of his purpose behind him.
Just over the summit, at a bare little
station, the train was held for orders, and Haney,
who was again suffocating and almost blind, took another
dose of the mysterious drug, and with its effect returned
to a dim perception of his surroundings. He was
able vaguely to recall that a trail which began just
back of the depot mounted the hill towards his largest
mine. A desire to see Williams, his faithful partner,
his most loyal friend, came over him, and, rising
to his feet, he painfully crept down the aisle to
the rear of the car and dropped off unnoticed, just
as the conductor’s warning cry started a rush
for the train.
As the last coach disappeared round
the turn the essential bleak loneliness of the place
returned. The station seemed deserted by every
human being, even the operator was lost to sight, and
the gambler, utterly solitary, with clouded brain
and laboring breath, turned towards the height, his
left leg dragging like a shackle.
For the first half-mile the way was
easy, and by moving slowly he suffered less pain than
he had expected. Around him the frost-smitten
aspens were shivering in the wind, their sparse leaves
dangling like coins of red-and-yellow gold, and all
the billowing land below, to the west, was iridescent
with green and flame-color and crimson. A voiceless
regret, a dim, wide-reaching, wistful sadness came
over him, but did not shake his resolution. He
had but to look down at his crippled body to know
that the beauty of the world was no longer his to enjoy.
His days were now but days of pain.
He had always loved the heights.
From the time he had first sighted this range he had
never failed to experience a peculiar exaltation as
he mounted above the ranch and the mine. Gambler
and night-owl though he had been, he had often spent
his afternoons on horseback riding high above the
camps, and now some small part of his love of the upper
air came back to lead him towards his grave.
With face turned to the solitudes of the snows, with
ever-faltering steps, he commenced his challenging
march towards death.
At the first sharp up-raise in the
way his heart began to pound and he swayed blindly
to and fro, unable to proceed. For an instant
he looked down in dismay at the rocky, waiting earth,
a most inhospitable grave. A few minutes’
rest against a tree, and his brain cleared. “Higher I
must go higher,” he said to himself; “they’ll
find me here.”
As he rose he could see the town spread
wide on the hill-tops beneath him the cabins
mere cubes, the mill a child’s toy. He could
discern men like ants moving to and fro as if in some
special excitement but he did not concern
himself with the cause. His one thought was to
mount to blend with the firs and the rocks.
He drew the phial from his pocket and held it in his
hand in readiness, with a dull fear that the chemical
would prove too small, too weak, to end his pain.
It was utterly silent and appallingly
lonely on this side of the great peak. Hunters
were few and prospectors were seldom seen. These
upward-looping trails led to no mine only
to abandoned prospect holes for no mineral
had ever been found on the western slope. The
copses held no life other than a few minute squirrels,
and no sound broke the silence save the insolent cry
of an occasional jay or camp-bird. To die here
was surely to die alone and to lie alone, as the fallen
cedar lies, wrought upon by the wind and the snows
and the rain.
Nevertheless, his suicidal idea persisted.
It had become the one final, overpowering, directing
resolution. There is no passion more persistent
than that which leads to self-destruction. In
the midst of the blinding swirl of his thought he
maintained his purpose to put himself above the world
of human effort and to become a brother of the clod,
to mix forever with the mould.
Slowly he dragged himself upward,
foot by foot, seeking the friendly shelter and obscurity
of a grove of firs just above him. Twice he sank
to his knees, a numbing pain at the base of his brain,
his breath roaring, his lips dry, but each time he
rose and struggled on, eager to reach the green and
grateful shelter of the forest, filled with desire
to thrust himself into its solitude; and when at last
he felt the chill of the shadow and realized that
he was surely hidden from all the world, he turned,
poised for an instant on a mound where the trail doubled
sharply, gave one long, slow glance around, then hurled
himself down the rocky slope. Even as he leaped
his heart seemed to burst and he fell like a clod
and lay without further motion. It was as if he
had been smitten in flight by a rifle-ball.
Around him the small animals of the
wood frolicked, and the jay called inquiringly, but
he neither saw nor heard. He was himself but a
gasping creature, with reason entirely engaged in
the blind struggle which the physical organism was
instinctively making to continue in its wonted ways.
All the world and all his desires, save a longing for
his fair young wife, were lost out of his mind, and
he thought of Bertha only in a dim and formless way feeling
his need of her and dumbly wondering why she did not
come. In final, desperate agony, he lifted the
phial of strychnine to his lips, hoping that it might
put an end to his suffering; but before this act was
completed a sweet, devouring flood of forgetfulness
swept over him, his hand dropped, and the unopened
bottle rolled away out of his reach. Then the
golden sunlight darkened out of his sky, and he died as
the desert lion dies alone.
When they found him two days later
he lay with his head pillowed upon his left arm, his
right hand outspread upon the pine leaves palm
upward as if to show its emptiness. A bird the
roguish gray magpie had stolen away the
phial as if in consideration of the dead man’s
wish, and no sign of his last despairing act was visible
to those who looked into his face. His going
was well planned. Self-murder was never written
opposite the name of Marshall Haney.