The affairs of Arrowhead Ranch are
administered by its owner, Mrs. Lysander John Pettengill,
through a score or so of hired experts. As a
trout-fishing guest of the castle I found the retainers
of this excellent feudalism interesting enough and
generally explicable. But standing out among
them, both as a spectacle and by reason of his peculiar
activities, is a shrunken little man whom I would hear
addressed as Jimmie Time. He alone piqued as well
as interested. There was a tang to all the surmises
he prompted in me.
I have said he is a man; but wait!
The years have had him, have scoured and rasped and
withered him; yet his face is curiously but the face
of a boy, his eyes but the fresh, inquiring, hurt
eyes of a boy who has been misused for years threescore.
Time has basely done all but age him. So much
for the wastrel as Nature has left him. But Art
has furthered the piquant values of him as a spectacle.
In dress, speech, and demeanour Jimmie
seems to be of the West, Western of the
old, bad West of informal vendetta, when a man’s
increase of years might lie squarely on his quickness
in the “draw”; when he went abundantly
armed by day and slept lightly at night trigger
fingers instinctively crooked. Of course such
days have very definitely passed; wherefore the engaging
puzzle of certain survivals in Jimmie Time for
I found him still a two-gun man. He wore them
rather consciously sagging from his lean hips almost
pompously, it seemed. Nor did he appear properly
unconscious of his remaining attire of
the broad-brimmed hat, its band of rattlesnake skin;
of the fringed buckskin shirt, opening gallantly across
his pinched throat; of his corduroy trousers, fitting
bedraggled; of his beautiful beaded moccasins.
He was perfect in detail and
yet he at once struck me as being too acutely aware
of himself. Could this suspicion ensue, I wondered,
from the circumstance that the light duties he discharged
in and about the Arrowhead Ranch house were of a semidomestic
character; from a marked incongruity in the sight
of him, full panoplied for homicide, bearing armfuls
of wood to the house; or, with his wicked hat pulled
desperately over a scowling brow, and still with his
flaunt of weapons, engaging a sinkful of soiled dishes
in the kitchen under the eyes of a mere unarmed Chinaman
who sat by and smoked an easy cigarette at him, scornful
of firearms?
There were times, to be sure, when
Jimmie’s behaviour was in nice accord with his
dreadful appearance as when I chanced to
observe him late the second afternoon of my arrival.
Solitary in front of the bunk house, he rapidly drew
and snapped his side arms at an imaginary foe some
paces in front of him. They would be simultaneously
withdrawn from their holsters, fired from the hip
and replaced, the performer snarling viciously the
while. The weapons were unloaded, but I inferred
that the foe crumpled each time.
Then the old man varied the drama,
vastly increasing the advantage of the foe and the
peril of his own emergency by turning a careless back
on the scene. The carelessness was only seeming.
Swiftly he wheeled, and even as he did so twin volleys
came from the hip. It was spirited the
weapons seemed to smoke; the smile of the marksman
was evil and masterly. Beyond all question the
foe had crumpled again, despite his tremendous advantage
of approach.
I drew gently near before the arms
were again holstered and permitted the full exposure
of my admiration for this readiness of retort under
difficulties. The puissant one looked up at me
with suspicion, hostile yet embarrassed. I stood
admiring ingenuously, stubborn in my fascination.
Slowly I won him. The coldness in his bright little
eyes warmed to awkward but friendly apology.
“A gun fighter lets hisself
git stiff,” he winningly began; “then,
first thing he knows, some fine day crack!
Like that! All his own fault, too, ‘cause
he ain’t kep’ in trim.” He jauntily
twirled one of the heavy revolvers on a forefinger.
“Not me, though, pard! Keep m’self
up and comin’, you bet! Ketch me not ready
to fan the old forty-four! I guess not!
Some has thought they could. Oh, yes; plenty has
thought they could. Crack! Like that!”
He wheeled, this time fatally intercepting the foe
as he treacherously crept round a corner of the bunk
house. “Buryin’ ground for you, mister!
That’s all bury-in’ ground!”
The desperado replaced one of the
weapons and patted the other with grisly affection.
In the excess of my admiration I made bold to reach
for it. He relinquished it to me with a mother’s
yearning. And all too legible in the polished
butt of the thing were notches! Nine sinister
notches I counted not fresh notches, but
emphatic, eloquent, chilling. I thrust the bloody
record back on its gladdened owner.
“Never think it to look at me?”
said he as our eyes hung above that grim bit of bookkeeping.
“Never!” I warmly admitted.
“Me I always been
one of them quiet, mild-mannered ones that you wouldn’t
think butter would melt in their mouth jest
up to a certain point. Lots of ’em fooled
that way about me jest up to a certain point,
mind you then, crack! Buryin’
ground that’s all! Never go huntin’
trouble understand? But when it’s
put on me say!”
He lovingly replaced the weapon with
its mortuary statistics doffed the broad-brimmed
hat with its snake-skin garniture, and placed a forefinger
athwart an area of his shining scalp which is said
by a certain pseudoscience to shield several of man’s
more spiritual attributes. The finger traced
an ancient but still evil looking scar.
“One creased me there,”
he confessed “a depity marshal that
time they had a reward out for me, dead or alive.”
I was for details.
“What did you do?”
Jimmie Time stayed laconic.
“Left him there that’s all!”
It was arid, yet somehow informing.
It conveyed to me that a marshal had been cleverly
put to needing a new deputy.
“Burying ground?” I guessed.
“That’s all!” He
laughed venomously a short, dry, restrained
laugh. “They give me a nickname,”
said he. “They called me Little Sure Shot.
No wonder they did! Ho! I should think they
would of called me something like that.”
He lifted his voice. “Hey! Boogles!”
I had been conscious of a stooping
figure in the adjacent vegetable garden. It now
became erect, a figure of no distinction short,
rounded, decked in carelessly worn garments of no
elegance. It slouched inquiringly toward us between
rows of sprouted corn. Then I saw that the head
surmounting it was a noble head. It was uncovered,
burnished to a half circle of grayish fringe; but
it was shaped in the grand manner and well borne,
and the full face of it was beautified by features
of a very Roman perfection. It was the face of
a judge of the Supreme Court or the face of an ideal
senator. His large grave eyes bathed us in a
friendly regard; his full lips of an orator parted
with leisurely and promising unction. I awaited
courtly phrases, richly rounded periods.
“A regular hell-cat what he is!”
Thus vocalized the able lips. Jimmie Time glowed
modestly.
“Show him how I can shoot,” said he.
The amazing Boogies waddled yet
with dignity to a point ten paces distant,
drew a coin from the pocket of his dingy overalls,
and spun it to the blue of heaven. Ere it fell
the deadly weapon bore swiftly on it and snapped.
“Crack!” said the marksman grimly.
His assistant recovered the coin,
scrutinized it closely, rubbed a fat thumb over its
supposedly dented surface, and again spun it.
The desperado had turned his back. He drew as
he wheeled, and again I was given to understand that
his aim had been faultless.
“Good Little Sure Shot!” declaimed Boogies
fulsomely.
“Hold it in your hand oncet,”
directed Little Sure Shot. The intrepid assistant
gallantly extended the half dollar at arm’s length
between thumb and finger and averted his statesman’s
face with practiced apprehension. “Crack!”
said Little Sure Shot, and the coin seemed to be struck
from the unscathed hand. “Only nicked the
aidge of it,” said he, genially deprecating.
“I don’t like to take no chancet with the
lad’s mitt.”
It had indeed been a pretty display of sharpshooting and
noiseless.
“Had me nervous, you bet, first
time he tried that,” called Boogles. “Didn’t
know his work then. Thought sure he’d wing
me.”
Jimmie Time loftily ejected imaginary
shells from his trusty firearm and seemed to expel
smoke from its delicate interior. Boogies waddled
his approach.
“Any time they back Little Sure
Shot up against the wall they want to duck,”
said he warmly. “He has ’em hard to
find in about a minute. Tell him about that fresh
depity marshal, Jimmie.”
“I already did,” said Jimmie.
“Ain’t he the hell-cat?”
demanded Boogles, mopping a brow that Daniel Webster
would have observed with instant and perhaps envious
respect.
“I been a holy terror in my
time, all right, all right!” admitted the hero.
“Never think it to look at me though. One
o’ the deceivin’ kind till I’m put
upon; then good-night!”
“Jest like that!” murmured Boogles.
“Buryin’ ground that’s
all.” The lips of the bad man shut grimly
on this.
“Say,” demanded Boogles,
“on the level, ain’t he the real Peruvian
doughnuts? Don’t he jest make ’em
all hunt their ” The tribute was
unfinished.
“You ol’ Jim! You
ol’ Jim Time!” Shrilly this came from Lew
Wee, Chinese cook of the Arrowhead framed in the kitchen
doorway of the ranch house. He brandished a scornful
and commanding dish towel at the bad man, who instantly
and almost cravenly cowered under the distant assault.
The garment of his old bad past fell from him, leaving
him as one exposed in the market-place to the scornful
towels of Chinamen. “You run, ol’
Jim Time! How you think catch ‘um
din’ not have wood?”
“Now I was jest goin’
to,” mumbled Jimmie Time; and he amazingly slunk
from the scene of his late triumphs toward the open
front of a woodhouse.
His insulter turned back to the kitchen
with a final affronting flourish of the towel.
The whisper of Boogles came hoarsely to me: “Some
of these days Little Sure Shot’ll put a dose
o’ cold lead through that Chink’s heart.”
“Is he really dangerous?” I demanded.
“Dangerous!” Boogles choked
warmly on this. “Let me tell you, that old
boy is the real Peruvian doughnuts, and no mistake!
Some day there won’t be so many Chinks round
this dump. No, sir-ee! That little cutthroat’ll
have another notch in his gun.”
The situation did indeed seem to brim
with the cheerfullest promise; yet something told
me that Little Sure Shot was too good, too perfect.
Something warned me that he suffered delusions of grandeur that
he fell, in fact, somewhat short of being the real
doughnuts, either of a Peruvian or any other valued
sort.
Nor had many hours passed ere it befell
emphatically even so. There had been the evening
meal, followed by an hour or so of the always pleasing
and often instructive talk of my hostess, Mrs. Lysander
John Pettengill, who has largely known life for sixty
years and found it entertaining and good. And
we had parted at an early nine, both tired from the
work and the play that had respectively engaged us
the day long.
My candle had just been extinguished
when three closely fired shots cracked the vast stillness
of the night. Ensued vocal explosions of a curdling
shrillness from the back of the house. One instantly
knew them to be indignant and Chinese. Caucasian
ears gathered this much. I looked from an open
window as the impassioned cries came nearer. The
lucent moon of the mountains flooded that side of
the house, and starkly into its light from round the
nearest corner struggled Lew Wee, the Chinaman.
He shone refulgent, being yet in the white or full-dress
uniform of his calling.
In one hand he held the best gun of
Jimmie Time; in the other there seemed
to be a well-gripped connection with the slack of a
buckskin shirt writhed the alleged real
doughnuts of a possibly Peruvian character. The
captor looked aloft and remained vocal, waving the
gun, waving Jimmie Time, playing them together as
cymbals, never loosening them. It was fine.
It filled the eye and appeased the deepest longings
of the ear.
Then from a neighbouring window projected
the heroic head and shoulders of my hostess, and there
boomed into the already vivacious libretto a passionate
barytone, or thereabout, of sterling timbre.
“What in the name of ”
I leave it there. To do so is
not only kind but necessary. The most indulgent
censor that ever guarded the columns of a print intended
for young and old about the evening lamp would swiftly
delete from this invocation, if not the name of Deity
itself, at least the greater number of the attributes
with which she endowed it. A few were conventional
enough, but they served only to accentuate others that
were too hastily selected in the heat of this crisis.
Enough to say that the lady overbore by sheer mass
of tone production the strident soprano of Lew Wee,
controlling it at length to a lucid disclosure of his
grievance.
From the doorway of his kitchen, inoffensively
proffering a final cigarette to the radiant night,
he had been the target of three shots with intent
to kill. He submitted the weapon. He submitted
the writhing assassin.
“I catch ’um!” he said effectively,
and rested his case.
“Now I aimed over
his head.” It was Jimmie Time alias Little
Sure Shot, and he whimpered the words. “I
jest went to play a sell on him.”
The voice of the judge boomed wrathfully on this:
“You darned pestering mischief,
you! Ain’t I forbid you time and again
ever to load them guns? Where’d you get
the ca’tridges?”
“Now I found ’em,”
pleaded the bad man. “I did so; I found
’em.”
“Cooned ’em, you mean!”
thundered the judge. “You cooned ’em
from Buck or Sandy. Don’t tell me, you
young reprobate!”
“He all like bad man,”
submitted the prosecution. “I tell ’um
catch stlovewood; he tell ’um me:
‘You go to haitch!’ I tell ’um:
’You ownself go to haitch! He say:
‘I flan you my gun plitty soon!’ He do.”
“I aimed over the coward’s
head,” protested the defendant.
“Can happen!” sanely objected the prosecution.
“Ain’t I told you what
I’d do if you loaded them guns?” roared
the judge. “Gentle, limping, baldheaded ”
[Deleted by censor.] “How many more times I
got to tell you? Now you know what you’ll
get. You’ll get your needings that’s
what you’ll get! All day to-morrow!
You hear me? You’ll wear ’em all
day to-morrow! Put ’em on first thing in
the morning and wear ’em till sundown.
No hiding out, neither! Wear ’em where folks
can see what a bad boy you are. And swearing,
too! I got to be ’shamed of you! Yes,
sir! Everybody’ll know how ’shamed
I am to have a tough kid like you on the place.
I won’t be able to hold my head up. You
wear ’em!”
“I I I
aimed above ” Jimmie Time broke down.
He was weeping bitterly. His captor released
him with a final shake, and he brought a forearm to
his streaming eyes.
“You’ll wear ’em
all day to-morrow!” again thundered the judge
as the culprit sobbed a stumbling way into obscurity.
“You’self go to haitch!”
the unrelenting complainant called after him.
The judge effected a rumbling withdrawal.
The night was again calm. Then I slept on the
problem of the Arrowhead’s two-gun bad man.
It seemed now pretty certain that the fatuous Boogles
had grossly overpraised him. I must question
his being the real doughnuts of any sort even
the mildest much less the real Peruvian.
But what was “’em” that in degrading
punishment and to the public shame of the Arrowhead
he must wear on the morrow? What, indeed, could
“’em” be?
I woke, still pondering the mystery.
Nor could I be enlightened during my breakfast, for
this was solitary, my hostess being long abroad to
far places of the Arrowhead, and the stolid mask of
Lew Wee inviting no questions.
Breakfast over, I stationed myself
in the bracing sunlight that warmed the east porch
and aimlessly overhauled a book of flies. To three
that had proved most popular in the neighbouring stream
I did small bits of mending, ever with a questing
eye on adjacent outbuildings, where Little Sure Shot nee
Time might be expected to show himself,
wearing “’em.”
A blank hour elapsed. I no longer
affected occupation with the flies. Jimmie Time
was irritating me. Had he not been specifically
warned to “wear ’em” full shamefully
in the public eye? Was not the public eye present,
avid? Boogles I saw intermittently among beanpoles
in the garden. He appeared to putter, to have
no care or system in his labour. And at moments
I noticed he was dropping all pretense of this to stand
motionless, staring intently at the shut door of the
stable.
Could his fallen idol be there, I
wondered? Purposefully I also watched the door
of the stable. Presently it opened slightly; then,
with evident infinite caution, it was pushed outward
until it hung half yawning. A palpitant moment
we gazed, Boogles and I. Then shot from the stable
gloom an astounding figure in headlong flight.
Its goal appeared to be the bunk house fifty yards
distant; but its course was devious, laid clearly
with a view to securing such incidental brief shelter
as would be afforded by the corral wall, by a meagre
clump of buck-brush, by a wagon, by a stack of hay.
Good time was made, however. The fugitive vanished
into the bunk house and the door of that structure
was slammed to. But now the small puzzle I had
thought to solve had grown to be, in that brief space easily
under eight seconds a mystery of enormous,
of sheerly inhuman dimensions. For the swift
and winged one had been all too plainly a correctly
uniformed messenger boy of the Western Union Telegraph
Company that blue uniform with metal buttons,
with the corded red at the trouser sides, the flat
cap fronted by a badge of nickel unthinkable,
yet there. And the speedy bearer of this scenic
investiture had been the desperate, blood-letting,
two-gun bad man of the Arrowhead.
It was a complication not to be borne
with any restraint. I hastened to stand before
the shut door of the sanctuary. It slept in an
unpromising stillness. Invincibly reticent it
seemed, even when the anguished face of Jimmie Time,
under that incredible cap with its nickeled badge,
wavered an instant back of the grimy window wavered
and vanished with an effect of very stubborn finality.
I would risk no defeat there. I passed resolutely
on to Boogles, who now most diligently trained up
tender young bean vines in the way they should go.
“Why does he hide in there?”
I demanded in a loud, indignant voice. I was
to have no nonsense about it.
Boogles turned on me the slow, lofty,
considering regard of a United States senator submitting
to photography for publication in a press that has
no respect for private rights. He lacked but a
few clothes and the portico of a capitol. Speech
became immanent in him. One should not have been
surprised to hear him utter decorative words meant
for the rejoicing and incitement of voters. Yet
he only said or started to say:
“Little Sure Shot’ll get
that Chink yet! I tell you, now, that old boy
is sure the real Peruvian ”
This was absurdly too much. I
then and there opened on Boogles, opened flooding
gates of wrath and scorn on him for him
and for his idol of clay who, I flatly told him, could
not be the real doughnuts of any sort. As for
his being the real Peruvian Faugh!
Often I had wished to test in speech
the widely alleged merits of this vocable. I
found it do all that has been claimed for it.
Its effect on Boogles was so withering that I used
it repeatedly in the next three minutes. I even
faughed him twice in succession, which is very insulting
and beneficial indeed, and has a pleasant feel on the
lips.
“And now then,” I said,
“if you don’t give me the truth of this
matter here and now, one of us two is going to be
mighty sorry for it.”
In the early moments of my violence
Boogles had protested weakly; then he began to quiver
perilously. On this I soothed him, and at the
precisely right moment I cajoled. I lured him
to the bench by the corral gate, and there I conferred
costly cigarettes on him as man to man. Discreetly
then I sounded for the origins of a certain bad man
who had a way even though they might crease
him of leaving deputy marshals where he
found them. Boogles smoked one of the cigarettes
before he succumbed; but first:
“Let me git my work,”
said he, and was off to the bunk house.
I observed his part in an extended
parley before the door was opened to him. He
came to me on the bench a moment later, bearing a ball
of scarlet yarn, a large crochet hook of bone, and
something begun in the zephyr but as yet without form.
“I’m making the madam
a red one for her birthday,” he confided.
He bent his statesman’s head
above the task and wrought with nimble fingers the
while he talked. It was difficult, this talk of
his, scattered, fragmentary; and his mind would go
from it, his voice expire untimely. He must be
prompted, recalled, questioned. His hands worked
with a very certain skill, but in his narrative he
dropped stitches. Made to pick these up, the
result was still a droning monotony burdened with
many irrelevancies. I am loath to transcribe his
speech. It were better reported with an eye strictly
to salience.
You may see, then and I
hope with less difficulty than I had in seeing Jimmie
Time and Boogles on night duty at the front of the
little Western Union Office off Park Row in the far
city of New York. The law of that city is tender
to the human young. Night messenger boys must
be adults. It is one of the preliminary shocks
to the visitor to ring for the messenger
boy of tradition and behold in his uniform a venerable
gentleman with perhaps a flowing white beard.
I still think Jimmie Time and Boogles were beating
the law on a technicality. Of course
Jimmie was far descended into the vale of years, and
even Boogles was forty but adults!
It is three o’clock of a warm
spring morning. The two legal adults converse
in whispers, like bad boys kept after school.
They whisper so as not to waken the manager, a blase,
mature youth of twenty who sleeps expertly in the
big chair back of the railing. They whisper of
the terrific hazards and the precarious rewards of
their adventurous calling. The hazards are nearly
all provided by the youngsters who come on the day
watch hardy ruffians of sixteen or so who
not only “pick on” these two but, with
sportive affectations, often rob them, when they change
from uniform to civilian attire, of any spoil the night
may have brought them. They are powerless against
these aggressions. They can but whisper their
indignation.
Boogles eyed the sleeping manager.
“I struck it fine to-night,
Jimmie!” he whispered. Jimmie mutely questioned.
“Got a whole case note. You know that guy
over to the newspaper office the one that’s
such a tank drama he had to send a note
up to a girl in a show that he couldn’t be there.”
“That tank drama? Sure,
I know him. He kids me every time he’s stewed.”
“He kids me, too, something
fierce; and he give me the case note.”
“Them strong arms’ll cop
it on you when they get here,” warned Jimmie.
“Took my collar off and hid
her on the inside of it. Oh, I know tricks!”
“Chee! You’re all to the Wall Street!”
“I got to look out for my stepmother,
too. She’d crown me with a chair if she
thought I held out on her. Beans me about every
day just for nothing anyway.”
“Don’t you stand for it!”
“Yah! All right for you
to talk. You’re the lucky guy. You’re
an orphan. S’pose you had a stepmother!
I wish I was an orphan.”
Jimmie swelled with the pride of orphanship.
“Yes; I’d hate to have
any parents knocking me round,” he said.
“But if it ain’t a stepmother then it’s
somebody else that beans you. A guy in this burg
is always getting knocked round by somebody.”
“Read some more of the novel,”
pleaded Boogles, to change the distressing topic.
Jimmie drew a tattered paper romance
from the pocket of his faded coat and pushed the cap
back from his seamed old forehead. It went back
easily, having been built for a larger head than his.
He found the place he had marked at the end of his
previous half-hour with literature. Boogles leaned
eagerly toward him. He loved being read to.
Doing it himself was too slow and painful:
“‘No,’ said our
hero in a clear, ringing voice; ’all your tainted
gold would not keep me here in the foul, crowded city.
I must have the free, wild life of the plains, the
canter after the Texas steers, and the fierce battles
with my peers. For me the boundless, the glorious
West!’”
“Chee! It must be something
grand that wild life!” interrupted
Boogles. “That’s the real stuff the
cowboy and trapper on them peraries, hunting bufflers
and Injuns. I seen a film ”
Jimmie Time frowned at this.
He did not like interruptions. He firmly resumed
the tale:
“With a gesture of disdain our
hero waved aside the proffered gold of the scoundrelly
millionaire and dashed down the stairway of the proud
mansion to where his gallant steed, Midnight, was champing
at the hitching post. At that moment ”
Romance was snatched from the hands
of Jimmie Time. The manager towered above him.
“Ain’t I told you guys
not to be taking up the company’s time with them
novels?” he demanded. He sternly returned
to his big chair behind the railing, where he no less
sternly took up his own perusal of the confiscated
tale.
“The big stiff!” muttered
Jimmie. “That’s the third one he’s
copped on me this week. A kid in this choint
ain’t got no rights! I got a good notion
to throw ’em down cold and go with the Postal
people.”
“Never mind! I’ll
blow you to an ice cream after work,” consoled
Boogles.
“Ice cream!” Jimmie Time
was contemptuous. “I want the free, wild
life of the boundless peraries. I want b’ar
steaks br’iled on the glowing coals of the camp
fire. I want to be Little Sure Shot, trapper,
scout, and guide ”
“Next out!” yelled the manager. “Hustle
now!”
Jimmie Time was next out. He hustled sullenly.
Boogles, alone, slept fitfully on
his bench until the young thugs of the day watch straggled
in. Then he achieved the change of his uniform
to civilian garments, with only the accustomed minor
maltreatment at the hands of these tormentors.
True, with sportive affectations yet with
deadly intentness they searched him for
possible loot; but only his pockets. His dollar
bill, folded inside his collar, went unfound.
With assumed jauntiness he strolled from the outlaws’
den and safely reached the street.
The gilding on the castellated towers
of the tallest building in the world dazzled his blinking,
foolish eyes. That was a glorious summit which
sang to the new sun, but no higher than his own elation
at the moment. Had he not come off with his dollar?
He found balm and a tender stimulus in the morning
air an air for dreams and revolt. Boogles
felt this as thousands of others must have felt it
who were yet tamely issuing from subway caverns and
the Brooklyn Bridge to be wage slaves.
A block away from the office he encountered
Jimmie Time, who seemed to await him importantly.
He seethed with excitement.
“I got one, too!” he called.
“That tank drama he sent another note uptown
to a restaurant where a party was, and he give me a
case note, too.”
He revealed it; and when Boogles withdrew
his own treasure the two were lovingly compared and
admired. Nothing in all the world can be so foul
to the touch as the dollar bill that circulates in
New York, but these two were intrepidly fondled.
“I ain’t going back to
change,” said Jimmie Time. “Them other
kids would cop it on me.”
“Have some cigarettes,”
urged Boogies, and royally bought them with
gilded tips, in a beautiful casket.
“I had about enough of their
helling,” declared Jimmie, still glowing with
a fine desperation.
They sought the William Street Tunnel
under the Brooklyn Bridge. It was cool and dark
there. One might smoke and take his ease.
And plan! They sprawled on the stone pavement
and smoked largely.
“Chee! If we could get
out West and do all them fine things!” mused
Boogies.
“Let’s!” said Jimmie Time.
“Huh!” Boogies gasped blankly at this.
“Let’s beat it!”
“Chee!” said Boogies.
He stared at this bolder spirit with startled admiration.
“Me I’m going,” declared
Jimmie Time stoutly, and waited.
Boogies wavered a tremulous moment.
“I’m going with you,” he managed
at last.
He blurted the words. They had
to rush out to beat down his native caution with quick
blows.
“Listen!” said Jimmie
Time impressively. “We got money enough
to start. Then we just strike out for the peraries.”
“Like the guy in the story!”
Boogies glowed at the adept who before his very eyes
was turning a beautiful dream into stark reality.
He was praying that his own courage to face it would
endure.
“You hurry home,” commanded
Jimmie, “and cop an axe and all the grub you
can lay your hands on.”
Boogies fell from the heights as he had feared he
would.
“Aw, chee!” he said sanely.
“And s’pose me stepmother gets her lamps
on me! Wouldn’t she bean me? Sure
she would!”
“Bind her and gag her,”
said Jimmie promptly. “What’s one
weak woman?”
“Yah! She’s a hellion and you know
it.”
“Listen!” said Jimmie
sternly. “If you’re going into the
wild and lawless life of the peraries with me you
got to learn to get things. Jesse James or Morgan’s
men could get me that axe and that grub, and not make
one-two-three of it.”
“Them guys had practice and
likely they never had to go against their stepmothers.”
“Do I go alone, then?”
“Well, now ”
“Will you or won’t you?”
Boogies drew a fateful breath.
“I’ll take a chance.
You wait here. If I ain’t back in one hour
you’ll know I been murdered.”
“Good, my man!” said Jimmie
Time with the air of an outlaw chief. “Be
off at once.”
Boogies was off. And Boogies
was back in less than the hour with a delectable bulging
meal sack. He was trembling but radiant.
“She seen me gitting away and
she yelled her head off,” he gasped; “but
you bet I never stopped. I just thought of Jesse
James and General Grant, and run like hell!”
“Good, my man!” said Jimmie
Time; and then, with a sudden gleam of the practical,
he inventoried the commissary and quartermaster supplies
in the sack. He found them to be: One hatchet;
one well-used boiled hambone; six greasy sugared crullers;
four dill pickles; a bottle of catchup; two tomatoes
all but obliterated in transit; two loaves of bread;
a flatiron.
Jimmie cast the last item from him.
“Wh’d you bring that for?” he demanded.
“I don’t know,”
confessed Boogies. “I just put it in.
Mebbe I was afraid she’d throw it at me when
I was making my getaway. It’ll be good for
cracking nuts if we find any on the peraries.
I bet they have nuts!”
“All right, then. You can carry it if you
want to, pard.”
Jimmie thrust the bundle into Boogies’
arms and valiantly led a desperate way to the North
River. Boogies panted under his burden as they
dodged impatient taxicabs. So they came into the
maze of dock traffic by way of Desbrosses Street.
The eyes of both were lit by adventure. Jimmie
pushed through the crowd on the wharf to a ticket
office. A glimpse through a door of the huge shed
had given him inspiration. No common ferryboats
for them! He had seen the stately river steamer,
Robert Fulton, gay with flags and bunting, awaiting
the throng of excursionists. He recklessly bought
tickets. So far, so good. A momentous start
had been made.
At this very interesting point in
his discourse to me, however, Boogies began to miss
explosions too frequently. From the disorderly
jumble of his narrative to this moment I believe I
have brought something like the truth; I have caused
the widely scattered parts to cohere. After this
I could make little of his maunderings.
They were on the crowded boat and
the boat steamed up the Hudson River; and they disembarked
at a thriving Western town which, I gather,
was Yonkers because Boogies feared his
stepmother might trace him to this boat, and because
Jimmie Time became convinced that detectives were on
his track, wanting him for the embezzlement of a worn
but still practicable uniform of the Western Union
Telegraph Company. So it was agreed that they
should take to the trackless forest, where there are
ways of throwing one’s pursuers off the scent;
where they would travel by night, guided by the stars,
and lay up by day, subsisting on spring water and
a little pemmican source undisclosed.
They were not going to be taken alive that
was understood.
They hurried through the streets of
this thriving Western town, ultimately boarding an
electric car with a shrewd eye out for the
hellhounds of the law; and the car took them to the
beginning of the frontier, where they found the trackless
forest. They reached the depths of this forest
after climbing a stone wall; and Jimmie Time said the
West looked good to him and that he could already smell
the “b’ar steaks br’iling.”
Plain enough still, perhaps; but immediately
it seemed that a princess had for some time been sharing
this great adventure. She was a beautiful golden-haired
princess, though quite small, and had flowers in her
hair and put some in the cap of Jimmie Time behind
the nickel badge and said she would make
him her court dwarf or jester or knight, or something;
only the scout who was with her said this was rather
silly and that they had better be getting home or
they knew very well what would happen to them.
But when they got lost Jimmie Time looked at this
scout’s rifle and said it was a first-class rifle,
and would knock an Indian or a wild animal silly.
And the scout smoked a cigarette and
got sick by it, and cried something fierce; so they
made a fire, and the princess didn’t get sick
when she smoked hers, but told them a couple of bully
stories, like reading in a book, and ate every one
of the greasy sugared crullers, because she was a
genuine princess, and Boogies thought at this time
that maybe the boundless West wasn’t what it
was cracked up to be; so, after they met the madam,
the madam said, well, if they was wanting to go out
West they might as well come along here; and they
said all right as long as they was wanting
to go out West anyway, why, they might as well come
along with her as with anybody else.
And that Chink would mighty soon find
out if Little Sure Shot wasn’t the real Peruvian
doughnuts, because that old murderer would sure have
him hard to find, come sundown; still, he was glad
he had come along with the madam, because back there
it wasn’t any job for you, account of getting
too fat for the uniform, with every one giving you
the laugh that way and they wouldn’t
get you a bigger one .
I left Boogies then, though he seemed
not to know it. His needle worked swiftly on
the red one he was making for the madam, and his aimless,
random phrases seemed to flow as before; but I knew
now where to apply for the details that had been too
many for his slender gift of narrative.
At four that afternoon Mrs. Lysander
John Pettengill, accompanied by one Buck Devine, a
valued retainer, rode into the yard and dismounted.
She at once looked searchingly about her. Then
she raised her voice, which is a carrying voice even
when not raised: “You, Jimmie Time!”
Once was enough. The door of
the bunk house swung slowly open and the disgraced
one appeared in all his shameful panoply. The
cap was pulled well down over a face hopelessly embittered.
The shrunken little figure drooped.
“None of that hiding out!”
admonished his judge. “You keep standing
round out here where decent folks can look at you and
see what a bad boy you are.”
With a glance she identified me as
one of the decent she would have edified. Jimmie
Time muttered evilly in undertones and slouched forward,
head down.
“Ain’t he the hostile
wretch?” called Buck Devine, who stood with the
horses. He spoke with a florid but false admiration.
Jimmie Time, snarling, turned on him: “You
go to .”
I perceived that Lew Wee the night
before had delicately indicated by a mere initial
letter a bad word that could fall trippingly from the
lips of Jimmie.
“Sure!” agreed Buck Devine
cordially. “And say, take this here telegram
up to the corner of Broadway and Harlem; and move lively
now don’t you stop to read any of
them nickel liberries.”
I saw what a gentleman should do.
I turned my back on the piteous figure of Jimmie Time.
I moved idly off, as if the spectacle of his ignominy
had never even briefly engaged me.
“Shoot up a good cook, will
you?” said the lady grimly. “I’ll
give you your needings.” She followed me
to the house.
On the west porch, when she had exchanged
the laced boots, khaki riding breeches, and army shirt
for a most absurdly feminine house gown, we had tea.
Her nose was powdered, and her slippers were bronzed
leather and monstrous small. She mingled Scotch
whiskey with the tea and drank her first cupful from
a capacious saucer.
“That fresh bunch of campers!”
she began. “What you reckon they did last
night? Cut my wire fence in two places over on
the west flat yes, sir! had
a pair of wire clippers in the whip socket. What
I didn’t give ’em! Say, ain’t
it a downright wonder I still retain my girlish laughter?”
But then, after she had refused my
made cigarette for one of her own deft handiwork,
she spoke as I wished her to:
“Yes; three years ago.
Me visiting a week at the home of Mrs. W.B. Hemingway
and her husband, just outside of Yonkers, back in York
State. A very nice swell home, with a nice front
yard and everything. And also Mrs. W.B.’s
sister and her little boy, visiting her from Albany,
the sister’s name being Mrs. L.H. Cummins,
and the boy being nine years old and named Rupert
Cummins, Junior; and very junior he was for his age,
too I will say that. He was a perfectly
handsome little boy; but you might call him a blubberhead
if you wanted to, him always being scared silly and
pestered and rough-housed out of his senses by his
little girl cousin, Margery Hemingway Mrs.
W.B.’s little girl, you understand and
her only seven, or two years younger than Junior, but
leading him round into all kinds of musses till his
own mother was that demoralized after a couple of
days she said if that Margery child was hers she’d
have her put away in some good institution.
“Of course she only told that
to me, not to Margery’s mother. I don’t
know mebbe she would of put her away, she
was that frightened little Margery would get Junior
killed off in some horrible manner, like the time
she got him to see how high he dast jump out of the
apple tree from, or like the time she told him, one
ironing day, that if he drank a whole bowlful of starch
it would make him have whiskers like his pa in fifteen
minutes. Things like that not fatal,
mebbe, but wearing.
“Well, this day come a telegram
about nine A.M. for Mrs. W.B., that her aunt, with
money, is very sick in New Jersey, which is near Yonkers;
so she and Mrs. L.H. Cummins, her sister, must
go to see about this aunt and would I stay
and look after the two kids and not let them get poisoned
or killed or anything serious? And they might
have to stay overnight, because the aunt was eccentric
and often thought she was sick; but this time she
might be right. She was worth all the way from
three to four hundred thousand dollars.
“So I said I’d love to
stay and look after the little ones. I wanted
to stay. Shopping in New York City the day before,
two bargain sales one being hand-embroidered
Swiss waists from two-ninety-eight upward I
felt as if a stampede of longhorns had caught me.
Darned near bedfast I was! Say, talk about the
pale, weak, nervous city woman with exhausted vitality!
See ’em in action first, say I. There was a corn-fed
hussy in a plush bonnet with forget-me-nots, two hundred
and thirty or forty on the hoof, that exhausted my
vitality all right no holds barred, an arm
like first-growth hick’ry across my windpipe,
and me up against a solid pillar of structural ironwork!
Once I was wrastled by a cinnamon bear that had lately
become a mother; but the poor old thing would have
lost her life with this dame after the hand-embroidereds.
Gee! I was lame in places I’d lived fifty-eight
years and never knew I had.
“So off went these ladies, with
Mrs. L.H. Cummins giving me special and private
warning to be sure and keep Junior well out of it in
case little mischievous Margery started anything that
would be likely to kill her. And I looked forward
to a quiet day on the lounge, where I could ache in
peace and read the ‘Famous Crimes of History,’
which the W.B.’s had in twelve volumes you
wouldn’t have thought there was that many, would
you? I dressed soft, out of respect to my corpse,
and picked out a corking volume of these here Crimes
and lay on the big lounge by an open window where
the breeze could soothe me and where I could keep tabs
on the little ones at their sports; and everything
went as right as if I had been in some A-Number-One
hospital where I had ought to of been.
“Lunchtime come before I knew
it; and I had mine brought to my bed of pain by the
Swede on a tray, while the kids et theirs in an orderly
and uproarious manner in the dining-room. Rupert,
Junior, was dressed like one of these boy scouts and
had his air gun at the table with him, and little
Margery was telling him there was, too, fairy princes
all round in different places; and she bet she could
find one any day she wanted to. They seemed to
be all safe enough, so I took up my Crimes again.
Really, ain’t history the limit? the
things they done in it and got away with never
even being arrested or fined or anything!
“Pretty soon I could hear the
merry prattle of the little ones again out in the
side yard. Ain’t it funny how they get the
gambling spirit so young? I’d hear little
Margery say: ‘I bet you can’t!’
And Rupert, Junior, would say:’ I bet I
can, too!’ And off they’d go ninety miles
on a straight track: ’I bet you’d
be afraid to!’ ’I bet I wouldn’t
be!’ ’I bet you’d run
as fast!’ ’I bet I never would!’
Ever see such natural-born gamblers? And it’s
all about what Rupert, Junior, would do if he seen
a big tiger in some woods Rupert betting
he’d shoot it dead, right between the eyes,
and Margery taking the other end. She has by far
the best end of it, I think, it being at least a forty-to-one
shot that Rupert, the boy scout, is talking high and
wide. And I drop into the Crimes again at a good,
murderous place with stilettos.
“I can’t tell even now
how it happened. All I know is that it was two
o’clock, and all at once it was five-thirty P.M.
by a fussy gold clock over on the mantel with a gold
young lady, wearing a spear, standing on top of it.
I woke up without ever suspicioning that I’d
been asleep. Anyway, I think I’m feeling
better, and I stretch, though careful, account of
the dame in the plush bonnet with forget-me-nots; and
I lie there thinking mebbe I’ll enter the ring
again to-morrow for some other truck I was needing,
and thinking how quiet and peaceful it is how
awful quiet! I got it then, all right. That
quiet! If you’d known little Margery better
you’d know how sick that quiet made me all at
once. My gizzard or something turned clean over.
“I let out a yell for them kids
right where I lay. Then I bounded to my feet
and run through the rooms downstairs yelling.
No sign of ’em! And out into the kitchen and
here was Tillie, the maid, and Yetta, the cook, both
saying it’s queer, but they ain’t heard
a sound of ’em either, for near an hour.
So I yelled out back to an old hick of a gardener
that’s deef, and he comes running; but he don’t
know a thing on earth about the kids or anything else.
Then I am sick! I send Tillie one way along the
street and the gardener the other way to find out if
any neighbours had seen ’em. Then in a
minute this here Yetta, the cook, says: ’Why,
now, Miss Margery was saying she’d go downtown
to buy some candy,’ and Yetta says: ’You
know, Miss Margery, your mother never ’ets you
have candy.’ And Margery says: ’Well,
she might change her mind any minute you
can’t tell; and it’s best to have some
on hand in case she does.’ And she’d
got some poker chips out of the box to buy the candy
with five blue chips she had, knowing they
was nearly money anyway.
“And when Yetta seen it was
only poker chips she knew the kid couldn’t buy
candy with ’em not even in Yonkers;
so she didn’t think any more about it until
it come over her just like that how
quiet everything was. Oh, that Yetta would certainly
be found bone clear to the centre if her skull was
ever drilled the same stuff they slaughter
the poor elephants for over in Africa going
so far away, with Yetta right there to their hands,
as you might say. And I’m getting sicker
and sicker! I’d have retained my calm mind,
mind you, if they had been my own kids but
kids of others I’d been sacredly trusted with!
“And then down the back stairs
comes this here sandy-complected, horse-faced plumber
that had been frittering away his time all day up in
a bathroom over one little leak, and looking as sad
and mournful as if he hadn’t just won eight
dollars, or whatever it was. He must have been
born that way not even being a plumber had
cheered him up.
“‘Blackhanders!’”
he says right off, kind of brightening a little bit.
“I like to fainted for fair!
He says they had lured the kids off with candy and
popcorn, and would hold ’em in a tenement house
for ten thousand dollars, to be left on a certain
spot at twelve P.M. He seemed to know a lot about
their ways.
“‘They got the Honourable
Simon T. Griffenbaugh’s youngest that way,’
he says, ‘only a month ago. Likely the same
gang got these two.’
“‘How do you know?’ I asks him.
“‘Well,’ he says,
’they’s a gang of over two hundred of these
I-talian Blackhanders working right now on a sewer
job something about two miles up the road. That’s
how I know,’ he says. ’That’s
plain enough, ain’t it? It’s as plain
as the back of my hand. What chance would them
two defenceless little children have with a gang of
two hundred Blackhanders?’
“But that looked foolish, even
to me. ‘Shucks!’ I says. ’That
don’t stand to reason.’ But then
I got another scare. ‘How about water?’
I says. ‘Any places round here they could
fall into and get drownded?’
“He’d looked glum again
when I said two hundred Blackhanders didn’t
sound reasonable; but he cheers up at this and says:
’Oh, yes; lots of places they could drownd cricks
and rivers and lakes and ponds and tanks any
number of places they could fall into and never come
up again.’ Say, he made that whole neighbourhood
sound like Venice, Italy. You wondered how folks
ever got round without gondolas or something.
’One of Dr. George F. Maybury’s two kids
was nearly drownded last Tuesday only the
older one saved him; a wonder it was they didn’t
have to drag the river and find ’em on the bottom
locked in each other’s arms! And a boy
by the name of Clifford Something, only the other day,
playing down by the railroad tracks ’
“I shut him off, you bet!
I told him to get out quick and go to his home if
he had one.
“’I certainly hope I won’t
have to read anything horrible in to-morrow’s
paper!’ he says as he goes down the back stoop.
’Only last week they was a nigger caught ’
“I shut the door on him.
Rattled good and plenty I was by then. Back comes
this silly old gardener he’d gone
with his hoe and was still gripping it. The neighbours
down that way hadn’t seen the kids. Back
comes Tillie. One neighbour where she’d
been had seen ’em climb on to a street car only
it wasn’t going downtown but into the country;
and this neighbour had said to herself that the boy
would be likely to let some one have it in the eye
with his gun, the careless way he was lugging it.
“Thank the Lord, that was a
trace! I telephoned to the police and told ’em
all about it. And I telephoned for a motor car
for me and got into some clothes. Good and scared yes!
I caught sight of my face in the looking-glass, and,
my! but it was pasty it looked like one
of these cheap apple pies you see in the window of
a two-bit lunch place! And while I’m waiting
for this motor car, what should come but a telegram
from Mr. W.B. himself saying that the aunt was worse
and he would go to New Jersey himself for the night!
Some said this aunt was worth a good deal more than
she was supposed to be. And I not knowing the
name of this town in Jersey where they would all be! it
was East Something or West Something, and hard to
remember, and I’d forgot it.
“I called the police again and
they said descriptions was being sent out, and that
probably I’d better not worry, because they often
had cases like this. And I offered to bet them
they hadn’t a case since Yonkers was first thought
of that had meant so much spot cash to ’em as
this one would mean the minute I got a good grip on
them kids. So this cop said mebbe they had better
worry a little, after all, and they’d send out
two cars of their own and scour the country, and try
to find the conductor of this street car that the
neighbour woman had seen the kids get on to.
“I r’ared round that house
till the auto come that I’d ordered. It
was late coming, naturally, and nearly dark when it
got there; but we covered a lot of miles while the
daylight lasted, with the man looking sharp out along
the road, too, because he had three kids of his own
that would do any living thing sometimes, though safe
at home and asleep at that minute, thank God!
“It was moisting when we started,
and pretty soon it clouded up and the dark came on,
and I felt beat. We got fair locoed. We’d
go down one road and then back the same way.
We stopped to ask everybody. Then we found the
two autos sent out by the police. I told the cops
again what would happen to ’em from me the minute
the kids was found the kids or their bodies.
I was so despairing what with that damned
plumber and everything! I’ll bet he’s
the merry chatterbox in his own home. The police
said cheer up nothing like that, with the
country as safe as a church. But we went over
to this Blackhanders’ construction camp, just
the same, to make sure, and none of the men was missing,
the boss said, and no children had been seen; and
anyway his men was ordinary decent wops and not Blackhanders and
blamed if about fifty of ’em didn’t turn
out to help look! Yes, sir, there they was foreigners
to the last man except the boss, who was Irish and
acting just like human beings.
“It was near ten o’clock
now; so we went to a country saloon to telephone police
headquarters, and they had found the car conductor,
he remembering because he had threatened to put the
boy scout off the car if he didn’t quit pointing
his gun straight at an old man with gold spectacles
setting across the aisle. And finally they had
got off themselves about three miles down the road;
he’d watched ’em climb over a stone wall
and start up a hill into some woods that was there.
And he was Conductor Number Twenty-seven, if we wanted
to know that.
“We beat it to that spot after
I’d powdered my nose and we’d had a quick
round of drinks. The policemen knew where it was.
It wasn’t moisting any more it was
raining for fair; and we done some ground-and-lofty
skidding before we got there. We found the stone
wall all right and the slope leading up to the woods;
but, my Lord, there was a good half mile of it!
We strung out four cops and my driver and
me hundreds of yards apart and all yelling,
so maybe the poor lost things would hear us.
“We made up to the woods without
raising a sign; and, my lands, wasn’t it dark
inside the woods! I worked forward, trying to
keep straight from tree to tree; but I stumbled and
tore my clothes and sprained my wrist, and blacked
one eye the prettiest you’d want to see mighty
near being a blubberhead myself, I was it
not being my kids, you understand. Oh, I kept
to it though! I’d have gone straight up
the grand old state of New York into Lake Erie if
something hadn’t stopped me.
“It was a light off through
the pine and oak trees, and down in a kind of little
draw not a lamplight but a fire blazing
up. I yelled to both sides toward the others.
I can yell good when I’m put to it. Then
I started for the light. I could make out figures
round the fire. Mebbe it’s a Blackhanders’
camp, I think; so I didn’t yell any more.
I cat-footed. And in a minute I was up close
and seen ’em there in the dripping
rain.
“Rupert, Junior, was asleep,
leaned setting up against a tree, with a messenger
boy’s cap on. And Margery was asleep on
a pile of leaves, with her cheek on one hand and something
over her. And a fat man was asleep on his back,
with his mouth open, making an awful fuss about it.
And the only one that wasn’t asleep was a funny
little old man setting against another tree.
He had on the scout’s campaign hat and he held
the gun across his chest in the crook of his arm.
He hadn’t any coat on. Then I see his coat
was what was over Margery; and I looked closer and
it was a messenger boy’s coat.
“I was more floored than ever
when I took that in. I made a little move, and
this funny old man must have heard me he
looked like one of them silly little critters that
play hob with Rip Van Winkle out on the mountain before
he goes to sleep. And he cocks his ears this way
and that; then he jumped to his feet, and I come forward
where he could see me. And darned if he didn’t
up with this here air gun of Rupert’s, like
a flash, and plunk me with a buckshot it carried right
on my sprained wrist, too!
“Say, I let out a yell, and
I had him by the neck of his shirt in one grab.
I was still shaking him when the others come to.
The fat man set up and rubbed his eyes and blinked.
That’s all he done. Rupert woke up the
same minute and begun to cry like a baby; and Margery
woke up, but she didn’t cry. She took a
good look at me and she says: ’You let him
alone! He’s my knight he slays
all the dragons. He’s a good knight!’
“There I was, still shaking
the little old man I’d forgot all
about him. So I dropped him on the ground and
reached for Margery; and I was so afraid I was going
to blubber like Rupert, the scout, that I let out
some words to keep from it. Yes, sir; I admit
it.
“‘Oh! Oh! Oh!
Swearing!’ says Rupert. I shall tell mother
and Aunt Hilda just what you said!’
“Mebby you can get Rupert’s
number from that. I did anyway. I stood up
from Margery and cuffed him. He went on sobbing,
but not without reason.
“‘Margery Hemingway,’
I says, ‘how dare you!’ And she looks up
all cool and cunning, and says: ’Ho!
I bet I know worse words than what you said!
See if I don’t.’ So then I shut her
off mighty quick. But still she didn’t
cry. ‘I s’pose I must go back home,’
she says. ’And perhaps it is all for the
best. I have a very beautiful home. Perhaps
I should stay there oftener.’
“I turned on the Blackhanders.
“‘Did these brutes entice
you away with candy?’ I demanded. ’Was
they holding you here for ransom?’
“‘Huh! I should think
not!’ she says. ’They are a couple
of ’fraid-cats. They were afraid as anything
when we all got lost in these woods and wanted to
keep on finding our way out. And I said I bet
they were awful cowards, and the fat one said of course
he was; but this old one became very, very indignant
and said he bet he wasn’t any more of a coward
than I am, but we simply ought to go where there were
more houses. And so I consented and we got lost
worse than ever about a hundred miles, I
think in this dense forest and we couldn’t
return to our beautiful homes. And this one said
he was a trapper, scout, and guide; so he built this
lovely fire and I ate a lot of crullers the silly things
had brought with them. And then this old one
flung his robe over me because I was a princess, and
it made me invisible to prowling wolves; and anyway
he sat up to shoot them with his deadly rifle that
he took away from Cousin Rupert. And Cousin Rupert
became very tearful indeed; so we took his hat away,
too, because it’s a truly scout hat.’
“‘And she smoked a cigarette,’
says Rupert, still sobbing.
“‘He smoked one, too,
and I mean to tell his mother,’ says Margery.
‘It’s something I think she ought to know.’
“‘It made me sick,’
says Rupert. ’It was a poison cigarette;
I nearly died.’
“‘Mine never made me sick,’
says Margery ’only it was kind of
sting-y to the tongue and I swallowed smoke through
my nose repeatedly. And first, this old one wouldn’t
give us the cigarettes at all, until I threatened
to cast a spell on him and turn him into a toad forever.
I never did that to any one, but I bet I could.
And the fat one cried like anything and begged me
not to turn the old one into a toad, and the old one
said he didn’t think I could in a thousand years,
but he wouldn’t take any chances in the Far
West; so he gave us the cigarettes, and Rupert only
smoked half of his and then he acted in a very common
way, I must say. And this old one said we would
have br’iled b’ar steaks for breakfast.
What is a br’iled b’ar steak? I’m
hungry.’
“Such was little angel-faced
Margery. Does she promise to make life interesting
for those who love her, or does she not?
“Well, that’s all.
Of course these cops when they come up said the two
men was desperate crooks wanted in every state in the
Union; but I swore I knew them both well and they
was harmless; and I made it right with ’em about
the reward as soon as I got back to a check book.
After that they’d have believed anything I said.
And I sent something over to the Blackhanders that
had turned out to help look, and something to Conductor
Number Twenty-seven. And the next day I squared
myself with Mrs. W.B. Hemingway and her husband,
and Mrs. L.H. Cummins, when they come back, the
aunt not having been sick but only eccentric again.
“And them two poor homeless
boys they kind of got me, I admit, after
I’d questioned ’em awhile. So I coaxed
’em out here where they could lead the wild,
free life. Kind of sad and pathetic, almost, they
was. The fat one I found was just a kind of natural-born
one a feeb you understand and
the old one had a scar that the doctor said explained
him all right you must have noticed it up
over his temple. It’s where his old man
laid him out once, when he was a kid, with a stovelifter.
It seemed to stop his works.
“Yes; they’re pretty good
boys. Boogies was never bad but once, account
of two custard pies off the kitchen window sill.
I threatened him with his stepmother and he hid under
the house for twenty-four hours. The other one
is pretty good, too. This is only the second time
I had to punish him for fooling with live ca’tridges.
There! It’s sundown and he’s got
on his Wild Wests again.”
Jimmie Time swaggered from the bunk
house in his fearsome regalia. Under the awed
observation of Boogles he wheeled, drew, and shot from
the hip one who had cravenly sought to attack him
from the rear.
“My, but he’s hostile!”
murmured my hostess. “Ain’t he just
the hostile little wretch?”