Sunday and a driving rain had combined
to keep Ma Pettengill within the Arrowhead ranch house.
Neither could have done this alone. The rain
would merely have added a slicker to her business costume
of khaki riding breeches, laced boots, and flannel
shirt as she rode abroad; while a clement Sabbath
would have seen her “resting,” as she would
put it, in and round the various outbuildings, feeding-pens,
blacksmith shop, harness-room, branding-chute, or
what not, issuing orders to attentive henchmen from
time to time; diagnosing the gray mule’s barbed-wire
cut; compounding a tonic for Adolph, the big milk-strain
Durham bull, who has been ailing; wishing to be told
why in something the water hadn’t been turned
into that south ditch; and, like a competent general,
disposing her forces and munitions for the campaign
of the coming week. But Sunday and
a wildly rainy Sunday had housed her utterly.
Being one who can idle with no grace
whatever she was engaged in what she called putting
the place to rights. This meant taking out the
contents of bureau drawers and wardrobes and putting
them back again, massing the litter on the big table
in the living-room into an involved geometry of neat
piles that would endure for all of an hour, straightening
pictures on the walls, eliminating the home-circles
of spiders long unmolested, loudly calling upon Lew
Wee, the Chinaman, who affrightedly fled farther and
farther after each call, and ever and again booming
pained surmises through the house as to what fearful
state it would get to be in if she didn’t fight
it to a clean finish once in a dog’s age.
The woman dumped a wastebasket of
varied rubbish into the open fire, leaned a broom
against the mantel, readjusted the towel that protected
her gray hair from the dust hair on week
days exposed with never a qualm to all manner of dust cursed
all Chinamen on land or sea with an especial and piquant
blight invoked upon the one now in hiding, then took
from the back of a chair where she had hung it the
moment before a riding skirt come to feebleness and
decrepitude. She held it up before critical eyes
as one scanning the morning paper for headlines of
significance.
“Ruined!” she murmured.
Even her murmur must have reached Lew Wee, how remote
soever his isle of safety. “Worn one time
and all ruined up! That’s what happens
for trying to get something for nothing. You’d
think women would learn. You would if you didn’t
know a few. Hetty Daggett, her that was Hetty
Tipton, orders this by catalogue, N or something,
from the mail-order house in Chicago. I was down
in Red Gap when it come. ’Isn’t it
simply wonderful what you can get for three thirty-eight!’
says she with gleaming eyes, laying this thing out
before me. ‘I don’t see how they
can ever do it for the money.’ She found
out the next day when she rode up here in it with
me and Mr. Burchell Daggett, her husband. Nothing
but ruin! Seams all busted, sleazy cloth wore
through. But Hetty just looks it over cheerfully
and says: ’Oh, well, what can you expect
for three thirty-eight?’ Is that like a woman
or is it like something science has not yet discovered?
“That Hetty child is sure one
woman. This skirt would never have held together
to ride back in, so she goes down as far as the narrow
gauge in the wagon with Buck Devine, wearing a charming
afternoon frock of pale blue charmeuse rather
than get into a pair of my khakis and ride back with
her own lawful-wedded husband; yes, sir; married to
him safe as anything, but wouldn’t forget her
womanhood. Only once did she ever come near it.
I saved her then because she hadn’t snared Mr.
Burchell Daggett yet, and of course a girl has to
be a little careful. And she took my counsels
so much to heart she’s been careful ever since.
’Why, I should simply die of mortification if
my dear mate were to witness me in those,’ says
she when I’m telling her to take a chance for
once and get into these here riding pants of mine
because it would be uncomfortable going down in that
wagon. ’But what is my comfort compared
to dear Burchell’s peace of mind?’ says
she.
“Ain’t we the goods, though,
when we do once learn a thing? Of course most
of us don’t have to learn stuff like this.
Born in us. I shouldn’t wonder if they
was something in the talk of this man Shaw or Shavian I
see the name spelled both ways in the papers.
I can’t read his pieces myself because he rasps
me, being not only a smarty but a vegetarian.
I don’t know. I might stand one or the
other purebred, but the cross seems to bring out the
worst strain in both. I once got a line on his
beliefs and customs though like it appears
he don’t believe anything ought to be done for
its own sake but only for some good purpose. It
was one day I got caught at a meeting of the Onward
and Upward Club in Red Gap and Mrs. Alonzo Price read
a paper about his meaning. I hope she didn’t
wrong him. I hope she was justified in all she
said he really means in his secret heart. No
one ought to talk that way about any one if they ain’t
got the goods on ’em. One thing I might
have listened to with some patience if the man et
steaks and talked more like some one you’d care
to have in your own home. In fact, I listened
to it anyway. Maybe he took it from some book
he read about woman and her true nature.
According to Henrietta Templeton Price, as near as
I could get her, this Shaw or Shavian believes that
women is merely a flock of men-hawks circling above
the herd till they see a nice fat little lamb of a
man, then one fell swoop and all is over but the screams
of the victim dying out horribly. They bear him
off to their nest in a blasted pine and pick the meat
from his bones at leisure. Of course that ain’t
the way ladies was spoken of in the Aunt Patty Little
Helper Series I got out of the Presbyterian Sabbath-school
library back in Fredonia, New York, when I was thirteen and
yet and yet as they say on the
stage in these plays of high or English life.”
It sounded promising enough, and the
dust had now settled so that I could dimly make out
the noble lines of my hostess. I begged for more.
“Well, go on Mrs.
Burchell Daggett once nearly forgot her womanhood.
Certainly, go on, if it’s anything that would
be told outside of a smoking-car.”
The lady grinned.
“Many of us has forgot our womanhood
in the dear, dead past,” she confessed.
“Me? Sure! Where’s that photo
album. Where did I put that album anyway?
That’s the way in this house. Get things
straightened up once, you can’t find a single
one you want. Look where I put it now!”
She demolished an obelisk of books on the table, one
she had lately constructed with some pains, and brought
the album that had been its pedestal. “Get
me there, do you?”
It was the photograph of a handsome
young woman in the voluminous riding skirt of years
gone by, before the side-saddle became extinct.
She held a crop and wore an astoundingly plumed bonnet.
Despite the offensive disguise, one saw provocation
for the course adopted by the late Lysander John Pettengill
at about that period.
“Very well now get
me here, after I’d been on the ranch only a month.”
It was the same young woman in the not too foppish
garb of a cowboy. In wide-brimmed hat, flannel
shirt, woolly chaps, quirt in hand, she bestrode a
horse that looked capable and daring.
“Yes, sir, I hadn’t been
here only a month when I forgot my womanhood like
that. Gee! How good it felt to get into ’em
and banish that sideshow tent of a skirt. I’d
never known a free moment before and I blessed Lysander
John for putting me up to it. Then, proud as Punch,
what do I do but send one of these photos back to dear
old Aunt Waitstill, in Fredonia, thinking she would
rejoice at the wild, free life I was now leading in
the Far West. And what do I get for it but a
tear-spotted letter of eighteen pages, with a side-kick
from her pastor, the Reverend Abner Hemingway, saying
he wishes to indorse every word of Sister Baxter’s
appeal to me asking why do I parade myself
shamelessly in this garb of a fallen woman, and can
nothing be said to recall me to the true nobility
that must still be in my nature but which I am forgetting
in these licentious habiliments, and so on! The
picture had been burned after giving the Reverend
his own horrified flash of it, and they would both
pray daily that I might get up out of this degradation
and be once more a good, true woman that some pure
little child would not be ashamed to call the sacred
name of mother.
“Such was Aunt Waitstill what
names them poor old girls had to stand for! I
had another aunt named Obedience, only she proved to
be a regular cinch-binder. Her name was never
mentioned in the family after she slid down a rainspout
one night and eloped to marry a depraved scoundrel
who drove through there on a red wagon with tinware
inside that he would trade for old rags. I’m
just telling you how times have changed in spite of
the best efforts of a sanctified ministry. I cried
over that letter at first. Then I showed it to
Lysander John, who said ‘Oh, hell!’ being
a man of few words, so I felt better and went right
on forgetting my womanhood in that shameless garb
of a so-and-so though where aunty had got
her ideas of such I never could make out and
it got to be so much a matter of course and I had
so many things to think of besides my womanhood that
I plumb forgot the whole thing until this social upheaval
in Red Gap a few years ago.
“I got to tell you that the
wild and lawless West, in all matters relating to
proper dress for ladies, is the most conservative and
hidebound section of our great land of the free and
home of the brave if you can get by with
it. Out here the women see by the Sunday papers
that it’s being wore that way publicly in New
York and no one arrested for it, but they don’t
hardly believe it at that, and they wouldn’t
show themselves in one, not if you begged them to on
your bended knees, and what is society coming to anyway?
You might as well dress like one of them barefooted
dancers, only calling ’em barefooted must be
meant like sarcasm and they’d die
before they’d let a daughter of theirs make
a show of herself like that for odious beasts of men
to leer at, and so on until a couple years
later Mrs. Henrietta Templeton Price gets a regular
one and wears it down Main Street, and nothing objectionable
happens; so then they all hustle to get one not
quite so extreme, of course, but after all, why not,
since only the evil-minded could criticise? Pretty
soon they’re all wearing it exactly like New
York did two years ago, with mebbe the limit raised
a bit here and there by some one who makes her own.
But again they’re saying that the latest one
New York is wearing is so bad that it must be confined
to a certain class of women, even if they do get taken
from left to right at Asbury Park and Newport and
other colonies of wealth and fashion, because the
vilest dregs can go there if they have the price, which
they often do.
“Red Gap is like that.
With me out here on the ranch it didn’t matter
what I wore because it was mostly only men that saw
me; but I can well remember the social upheaval when
our smartest young matrons and well-known society
belles flung modesty to the chinook wind and took
to divided skirts for horseback riding. My, the
brazen hussies! It ain’t so many years
ago. Up to that time any female over the age of
nine caught riding a horse cross-saddle would have
lost her character good and quick. And these
pioneers lost any of theirs that wasn’t cemented
good and hard with proved respectability. I remember
hearing Jeff Tuttle tell what he’d do to any
of his womenfolks that so far forgot the sacred names
of home and mother. It was startling enough, but
Jeff somehow never done it. And if he was to
hear Addie or one of the girls talking about a side-saddle
to-day he’d think she was nutty or mebbe wanting
one for the state museum. So it goes with us.
My hunch is that so it will ever go.
“The years passed, and that
thrill of viciousness at wearing divided skirts in
public got all rubbed off that thrill that
every last one of us adores to feel if only it don’t
get her talked about too much by
evil-minded gossips. Then comes this here next
upheaval over riding pants for ladies or
them that set themselves up to be such. Of course
we’d long known that the things were worn in
New York and even in such modern Babylons as Spokane
and Seattle; but no woman in Red Gap had ever forgot
she had a position to keep up, until summer before
last, when we saw just how low one of our sex could
fall, right out on the public street.
“She was the wife of a botanist
from some Eastern college and him and her rode a good
bit and dressed just alike in khaki things. My,
the infamies that was intimated about that poor
creature! She was bony and had plainly seen forty,
very severe-featured, with scraggly hair and a sharp
nose and spectacles, and looked as if she had never
had a moment of the most innocent pleasure in all
her life; but them riding pants fixed her good in
the minds of our lady porch-knockers. And the
men just as bad, though they could hardly bear to
look twice at her, she was that discouraging to the
eye; they agreed with their wives that she must be
one of that sort.
“But things seem to pile up
all at once in our town. That very summer the
fashion magazines was handed round with pages turned
down at the more daring spots where ladies were shown
in such things. It wasn’t felt that they
were anything for the little ones to see. But
still, after all, wasn’t it sensible, now really,
when you come right down to it? and as a matter of
fact isn’t a modest woman modest in anything? it
isn’t what she wears but how she conducts herself
in public, or don’t you think so, Mrs. Ballard? and
you might as well be dead as out of style, and would
Lehman, the Square Tailor, be able to make up anything
like that one there? but no, because how
would he get your measure? and surely no
modest woman could give him hers even if she did take
it herself anyway, you’d be insulted
by all the street rowdies as you rode by, to say nothing
of being ogled by men without a particle of fineness
in their natures but there’s always
something to be said on both sides, and it’s
time woman came into her own, anyway, if she is ever
to be anything but man’s toy for his idle moments still
it would never do to go to extremes in a narrow little
town like this with every one just looking for an
excuse to talk but it would be different
if all the best people got together and agreed to
do it, only most of them would probably back out at
the last moment and that smarty on the Recorder
would try to be funny about it now that
one with the long coat doesn’t look so terrible,
does it? or do you think so? of course it’s
almost the same as a skirt except when you climb on
or something a woman has to think of those
things wouldn’t Daisy Estelle look
rather stunning in that? she has just the
figure for it. Here’s this N with
the Norfolk jacket in this mail-order catalogue do
you think that looks too theatrical, or don’t
you? Of course for some figures, but I’ve
always been able to wear And so forth,
for a month or so.
“Late in the fall Henrietta
Templeton Price done it. You may not know what
that meant to Alonzo Price, Choice Villa Sites and
Price’s Addition to Red Gap. Alonzo is
this kind: I met him the day Gussie Himebaugh
had her accident when the mules she was driving to
the mowing machine run away out on Himebaugh’s
east forty. Alonzo had took Doc Maybury out and
passes me coming back. ‘How bad was she
hurt?’ I asks. The poor thing looks down
greatly embarrassed and mumbles: ‘She has
broken a limb.’ ‘Leg or arm?’
I blurts out, forgetting all delicacy. You’d
think I had him pinned down, wouldn’t you?
Not Lon, though. ‘A lower limb,’ says
he, coughing and looking away.
“You see how men are till we
put a spike collar and chain on ’em. When
Henrietta declared herself Alonzo read the riot act
and declared marital law. But there was Henrietta
with the collar and chain and pretty soon Lon was
saying: ’You’re quite right, Pettikins,
and you ought to have the thanks of the community
for showing our ladies how to dress rationally on
horseback. It’s not only sensible and safe
but it’s modest a plain pair of riding
breeches, no coquetry, no frills, nothing but stern
utility of course I agree.’
“‘I hoped you would, darling,’
says Henrietta. She went to Miss Gunslaugh and
had her make the costume, being one who rarely does
things by halves. It was of blue velvet corduroy,
with a fetching little bolero jacket, and the things
themselves were fitted, if you know what I mean.
And stern utility! That suit with its rosettes
and bows and frogs and braid had about the same stern
utility as those pretty little tin tongs that come
on top of a box of candy ever see anybody
use one of those? When Henrietta got dressed
for her first ride and had put on the Cuban Pink Face
Balm she looked like one of the gypsy chorus in the
Bohemian Girl opera.
“Alonzo gulped several times
in rapid succession when he saw her, but the little
man never starts anything he don’t aim to finish,
and it was too late to start it then. Henrietta
brazened her way through Main Street and out to the
country club and back, and next day she put them on
again so Otto Hirsch, of the E-light Studio, could
come up and take her standing by the horse out in
front of the Price mansion. Then they was laid
away until the Grand Annual Masquerade Ball of the
Order of the Eastern Star, which is a kind of hen
Masons, when she again gave us a flash of what New
York society ladies was riding their horse in.
As a matter of fact, Henrietta hates a horse like
a rattlesnake, but she had done her pioneer work for
once and all.
“Every one was now laughing
and sneering at the old-fashioned divided skirt with
which woman had endangered her life on a horse, and
wondering how they had endured the clumsy things so
long; and come spring all the prominent young society
buds and younger matrons of the most exclusive set
who could stay on a horse at all was getting theirs
ready for the approaching season, Red Gap being like
London in having its gayest season in the summer,
when people can get out more. Even Mis’
Judge Ballard fell for it, though hers was made of
severe black with a long coat. She looked exactly
like that Methodist minister, the old one, that we
had three years ago.
“Most of the younger set used
the mail-order catalogue, their figures still permitting
it. And maybe there wasn’t a lot of trying
on behind drawn blinds pretty soon, and delighted
giggles and innocent girlish wonderings about whether
the lowest type of man really ogles as much under
certain circumstances as he’s said to. And
the minute the roads got good the telephone of Pierce’s
Livery, Feed, and Sale Stable was kept on the ring.
Then the social upheaval was on. Of course any
of ’em looked quiet after Henrietta’s
costume, for none of the girls but Beryl Mae Macomber,
a prominent young society bud, aged seventeen, had
done anything like that. But it was the idea
of the thing.
“A certain element on the South
Side made a lot of talk and stirred things up and
wrote letters to the president of the Civic Purity
League, who was Mis’ Judge Ballard herself,
asking where this unspeakable disrobing business was
going to end and calling her attention to the fate
that befell Sodom and Gomorrah. But Mis’
Ballard she’s mixed on names and gets the idea
these parties mean Samson and Delilah instead of a
couple of twin cities, like St. Paul and Minneapolis,
and she writes back saying what have these Bible characters
got to do with a lady riding on horseback in
trousers, it is true, but with a coat falling modestly
to the knee on each side, and certain people had better
be a little more fussy about things that really matter
in life before they begin to talk. She knew who
she was hitting at all right, too. Trust Mis’
Ballard!
“It was found that there was
almost the expected amount of ogling from sidewalk
loafers, at first. As Daisy Estelle Maybury said,
it seemed as if a girl couldn’t show herself
on the public thoroughfare without being subjected
to insult. Poor Daisy Estelle! She had been
a very popular young society belle, and was considered
one of the most attractive girls in Red Gap until
this happened. No one had ever suspected it of
her in the least degree up to that time. Of course
it was too late after she was once seen off her horse.
Them that didn’t see was told in full detail
by them that did. Most of the others was luckier.
Beryl Mae Macomber in her sport shirt and trouserettes
complained constantly about the odious wretches along
Main Street and Fourth, where the post office was.
She couldn’t stop even twenty minutes in front
of the post office, minding her own business and waiting
for some one she knew to come along and get her mail
for her, without having dozens of men stop and ogle
her. That, of course, was during the first two
weeks after she took to going for the mail, though
the eternal feminine in Beryl Mae probably thought
the insulting glances was going to keep up forever.
“I watched the poor child one
day along in the third week, waiting there in front
of the post office after the four o’clock mail,
and no one hardly ogled her at all except some rude
children out from school. What made it more pitiful,
leaning right there against the post office front
was Jack Shiels, Sammie Hamilton, and little old Elmer
Cox, Red Gap’s three town rowdies that ain’t
done a stroke of work since the canning factory closed
down the fall before, creatures that by rights should
have been leering at the poor child In all her striking
beauty. But, no; the brutes stand there looking
at nothing much until Jack Shiels stares a minute
at this horse Beryl Mae is on and pipes up: ’Why,
say, I thought Pierce let that little bay runt go
to the guy that was in here after polo ponies last
Thursday. I sure did.’ And Sam Hamilton
wakes up and says: ’No, sir; not this one.
He got rid of a little mare that had shoulders like
this, but she was a roan with kind of mule ears and
one froze off.’ And little old Elmer Cox,
ignoring this defenceless young girl with his impudent
eyes, he says: ’Yes, Sam’s right for
once. Pierce tried to let this one go, too, but
ain’t you took a look at his hocks!’ Then
along comes Dean Duke, the ratty old foreman in Pierce’s
stable, and he don’t ogle a bit, either, like
you’d expect one of his debased calibre to,
but just stops and talks this horse over with ’em
and says yes, it was his bad hocks that lost the sale,
and he tells ’em how he had told Pierce just
what to do to get him shaped up for a quick sale,
but Pierce wouldn’t listen to him, thinking he
knew it all himself; and there the four stood and
gassed about this horse without even seeing Beryl
Mae, let alone leering at her. I bet she was close
to shedding tears of girlish mortification as she
rode off without ever waiting for the mail. Things
was getting to a pretty pass. If low creatures
lost to all decent instincts, like these four, wouldn’t
ogle a girl when she was out for it, what could be
expected of the better element of the town? Still,
of course, now and then one or the other of the girls
would have a bit of luck to tell of.
“Well, now we come to the crookedest
bit of work I ever been guilty of, though first telling
you about Mr. Burchell Daggett, an Eastern society
man from Cedar Rapids, Iowa, that had come to Red Gap
that spring to be assistant cashier in the First National,
through his uncle having stock in the thing.
He was a very pleasant kind of youngish gentleman,
about thirty-four, I reckon, with dark, parted whiskers
and gold eyeglasses and very good habits. He
took his place among our very best people right off,
teaching the Bible class in the M.E. Sabbath-school
and belonging to the Chamber of Commerce and the City
Beautiful Association, of which he was made vice-president,
and being prominent at all functions held in our best
homes. He wasn’t at all one of them that
lead a double life by stopping in at the Family Liquor
Store for a gin fizz or two after work hours, or going
downtown after supper to play Kelly pool at the Temperance
Billiard Parlours and drink steam beer, or getting
in with the bunch that gathers in the back room of
the Owl Cigar Store of an evening and tells these
here suggestive stories. Not that he was hide-bound.
If he felt the need for a shot of something he’d
go into the United States Grill and have a glass of
sherry and bitters brought to him at a table and eat
a cracker with it, and he’d take in every show,
even the Dizzy Belles of Gotham Big Blonde Beauty Show.
He was refined and even moral in the best sense of
the word, but still human.
“Our prominent young society
buds took the keenest notice of him at once, as would
naturally happen, he being a society bachelor of means
and by long odds the best catch in Red Gap since old
Potter Knapp, of the Loan and Trust Company, had broke
his period of mourning for his third wife by marrying
Myrtle Wade that waited on table at the Occidental
Hotel, with the black band still on his left coat sleeve.
It’s no exaggeration to say that Mr. Burchell
Daggett became the most sought-after social favourite
among Reg Gap’s hoot mondy in less than
a week after he unpacked his trunk. But it was
very soon discovered by the bright-eyed little gangsters
of the best circles that he wasn’t going to
be an easy one to disable. Naturally when a man
has fought ’em off to his age he has learned
much of woodcraft and the hunter’s cunning wiles,
and this one had sure developed timber sense.
He beat ’em at their own game for three months
by the simple old device of not playing any favourite
for one single minute, and very, very seldom getting
alone with one where the foul stroke can be dealt
by the frailest hand with muscular precision.
If he took Daisy Estelle Maybury to the chicken pie
supper to get a new carpet for the Presbyterian parsonage,
he’d up and take Beryl Mae and her aunt, or
Gussie Himebaugh, or Luella Stultz, to the lawn feet
at Judge Ballard’s for new uniforms for the band
boys. At the Bazaar of All Nations he bought
as many chances of one girl as he did of another,
and if he hadn’t any more luck than a rabbit
and won something a hanging lamp or a celluloid
manicure set in a plush-lined box he’d
simply put it up to be raffled off again for the good
of the cause. And none of that moonlight loitering
along shaded streets for him, where the dirk is so
often drove stealthily between a man’s ribs,
and him thinking all the time he’s only indulging
in a little playful nonsense. Often as not he’d
take two girls at once, where all could be merry without
danger of anything happening.
“It was no time at all till
this was found out on him. It was seen that under
a pleasing exterior, looking all too easy to overcome
by any girl in her right mind, he had powers of resistance
and evasion that was like steel. Of course this
only stirred the proud beauties on to renewed and
crookeder efforts. Every darned one of ’em
felt that her innocent young girlhood was challenged,
and would she let it go at that? Not so.
My lands! What snares and deadfalls was set for
this wise old timber wolf that didn’t look it,
with his smiling ways and seemingly careless response
to merry banter, and so forth!
“And of course every one of
these shrinking little scoundrels thought at once
of her new riding costume, so no time at all was lost
in organizing the North Side Riding and Sports Club,
which Mr. Burchell Daggett gladly joined, having,
as he said, an eye for a horse and liking to get out
after banking hours to where all Nature seems to smile
and you can let your mount out a bit over the firm,
smooth road. Them that had held off until now,
on account of the gossip and leering, hurried up and
got into line with N in the mail-order catalogue,
or went to Miss Gunslaugh, who by this time had a
female wax dummy in her window in a neat brown suit
and puttees, with a coat just opening and one foot
advanced carelessly, with gauntlets and a riding crop,
and a fetching little cap over the wind-blown hair
and the clear, wonderful blue eyes. Oh, you can
bet every last girl of the bunch was seeing herself
send back picture postals to her rivals telling
what a royal time they was having at Palm or Rockaway
Beach or some place, and seeing the engraved cards ’Mr.
and Mrs. Burchell Daggett, at Home After the Tenth,
Ophir Avenue, Red Gap, Wash.’
“Ain’t we good when you
really get us, if you ever do because some
don’t. Many, indeed! I reckon there
never was a woman yet outside of a feeb’ home
that didn’t believe she could be an A. N
siren if she only had the nerve to dress the part;
never one that didn’t just ache to sway men
to her lightest whim, and believe she could not
for any evil purpose, mind you, but just to show her
power. Think of the tender hearts that must have
shuddered over the damage they could and actually
might do in one of them French bathing suits like you
are said to witness in Paris and Atlantic City and
other sinks of iniquity. And here was these well-known
society favourites wrought up by this legible party,
as the French say, till each one was ready to go just
as far as the Civic Purity League would let her in
order to sweep him off his feet in one mad moment.
Quite right, too. It all depends on what the object
is, don’t it; and wasn’t theirs honourable
matrimony with an establishment and a lawn in front
of it with a couple of cast-iron moose, mebbe?
“And amid all this quaint girlish
enterprise and secret infamy was the problem of Hetty
Tipton. Hetty had been a friend and a problem
of mine for seven years, or ever since she come back
from normal to teach in the third-grade grammar school;
a fine, clean, honest, true-blue girl, mebbe not as
pretty you’d say at first as some others, but
you like her better after you look a few times more,
and with not the slightest nonsense about her.
That last was Hetty’s one curse. I ask you,
what chance has a girl got with no nonsense about
her? Hetty won my sympathy right at the start
by this infirmity of hers, which was easily detected,
and for seven years I’d been trying to cure
her of it, but no use. Oh, she was always took
out regular enough and well liked, but the gilded youth
of Red Gap never fought for her smiles. They’d
take her to parties and dances, turn and turn about,
but they always respected her, which is the greatest
blight a man can put on one of us, if you know what
I mean. Every man at a party was always careful
to dance a decent number of times with Hetty and see
that she got back to her seat; and wasn’t it
warm in here this evening, yes, it was; and wouldn’t
she have a glass of the punch No, thank
you then he’d gallop off to have some
fun with a mere shallow-pated fool that had known
how from the cradle. It was always a puzzle to
me, because Hetty dressed a lot better than most of
them, knowing what to wear and how, and could take
a joke if it come slow, and laid herself out to be
amiable to one and all. I kind of think it must
be something about her mentality. Maybe it is
too mental. I can’t put her to you any
plainer than to say that every single girl in town,
young and old, just loved her, and not one of them
up to this time had ever said an unkind or feminine
thing about her. I guess you know what that would
mean of any woman.
“Hetty was now coming twenty-nine we
never spoke of this, but I could count back and
it’s my firm belief that no man had ever proposed
marriage or anything else on earth to her. Wilbur
Todd had once endeavoured to hold her hand out on
the porch at a country-club dance and she had repulsed
him in all kindness but firmly. She told him she
couldn’t bring herself to permit a familiarity
of that sort except to the man who would one day lead
her to the altar, which is something I believe she
got from writing to a magazine about a young girl’s
perplexities. And here, in spite of her record,
this poor thing had dared to raise her eyes to none
other than this Mr. Burchell Daggett. There was
something kind of grand and despairing about the impudence
of it when you remember these here trained efficiency
experts she was competing with. Yet so it was.
She would drop in on me after school for a cup of
tea and tell me frankly how distinguished his manner
was and what shapely features he had and what fine
eyes, and how there was a certain note in his voice
at times, and had I ever noticed that one stubborn
lock of hair that stuck out back of his left ear?
Of course that last item settled it. When they
notice that lock of hair you know the ship has struck
the reef and all hands are perishing.
“And it seemed that the cuss
had not only shown her more than a little attention
at evening functions but had escorted her to the midspring
production of ‘Hamlet’ by the Red Gap Amateur
Theatrical and Dramatic Society. True, he had
conducted himself like a perfect gentleman every minute
they was alone together, even when they had to go home
in Eddie Pierce’s hack because it was raining
when the show let out but would I, or would
I not, suspect from all this that he was in the least
degree thinking of her in a way that you
know!
“Poor child of twenty-eight,
with her hungry eyes and flushed face while she was
showing down her hand to me! I seen the scoundrel’s
play at once. Hetty was the one safe bet for
him in Red Gap’s social whirl. He was wise,
all right this Mr. D. He’d known in
a second he could trust himself alone with that girl
and be as safe as a babe in its mother’s arms.
Of course I couldn’t say this to Hetty.
I just said he was a man that seemed to know his own
mind very clearly, whatever it was, and Hetty blushed
some more and said that something within her responded
to a certain note in his voice. We let it go
at that.
“So I think and ponder about
poor Hetty, trying to invent some conspiracy that
would fix it right, because she was the ideal mate
for an assistant cashier that had a certain position
to keep up. For that matter she was good enough
for any man. Then I hear she has joined the riding
club, and an all day’s ride has been planned
for the next Saturday up to Stender’s Spring,
with a basket lunch and a romantic ride back by moonlight.
Of course, I don’t believe in any of this spiritualist
stuff, but you can’t tell me there ain’t
something in it, mind-reading or something, with the
hunches you get when parties is in some grave danger.
“Stella Ballard it was tells
me about the picnic, calling me in as I passed their
house to show me her natty new riding togs that had
just come from the mail-order house. She called
from back of a curtain, and when I got into the parlour
she had them on, pleased as all get-out. Pretty
they was, too riding breeches and puttees
and a man’s flannel shirt and a neat-fitting
Norfolk jacket, and Stella being a fine, upstanding
figure.
“‘They may cause considerable
talk,’ says she, smoothing down one leg where
it wrinkled a bit, ’but really I think they look
perfectly stunning on me, and wasn’t it lucky
they fit me so beautifully? They’re called
the Non Plush Ultra.’
“‘The what?’ I says.
“‘The Non Plush Ultra,’
she answers. ’That’s the name of them
sewed in the band.’
“‘What’s that mean?’ I wanted
to know.
“‘Why,’ says Stella,
’that’s Latin or Greek, I forget which,
and it means they’re the best, I believe.
Oh, let me see! Why, it means nothing beyond,
or something like that; the farthest you can go, I
think. One forgets all that sort of thing after
leaving high school.’
“‘Well,’ I says,
’they fit fine, and it’s the only modest
rig for a woman to ride a horse in, but they certainly
are non plush, all right. That thin goods will
never wear long against saddle leather, take my word
for it.’
“But of course this made no
impression on Stella she was standing on
the centre table by now, so she could lamp herself
in the glass over the mantel and then she
tells me about the excursion for Saturday and how
Mr. Burchell Daggett is enthused about it, him being
a superb horseman himself, and, if I know what she
means, don’t I think she carries herself in
the saddle almost better than any girl in her set,
and won’t her style show better than ever in
this duck of a costume, and she must get her tan shoes
polished, and do I think Mr. Daggett really meant
anything when he said he’d expect her some day
to return the masonic pin she had lifted off his vest
the other night at the dance, and so on.
“It was while she was babbling
this stuff that I get the strange hunch that Hetty
Tipton is in grave danger and I ought to run to her;
it seemed almost I could hear her calling on me to
save her from some horrible fate. So I tell Stella
yes, she’s by far the finest rider in the whole
Kulanche Valley, and she ought to get anything she
wants with that suit on, and then I beat it quick
over to the Ezra Button house where Hetty boards.
“You can laugh all you want
to, but that hunch of mine was the God’s truth.
Hetty was in the gravest danger she’d faced since
one time in early infancy when she got give morphine
for quinine. What made it more horrible, she
hadn’t the least notion of her danger. Quite
the contrary.
“‘Thank the stars I’ve
come in time!’ I gasps as I rushes in on her,
for there’s the poor girl before her mirror
in a pair of these same Non Plush Ultras and
looking as pleased with herself as if she had some
reason to be.
“‘Back into your skirts
quick!’ I says. ’I’m a strong
woman and all that, but still I can be affected more
than you’d think.’
“Poor Hetty stutters and turns
red and her chin begins to quiver, so I gentled her
down and tried to explain, though seeing quick that
I must tell her everything but the truth. I reckon
nothing in this world can look funnier than a woman
wearing them things that had never ought to for one
reason or another. There was more reasons than
that in Hetty’s case. Dignity was the first
safe bet I could think of with her, so I tried that.
“‘I know all you would
say,’ says the poor thing in answer, ’but
isn’t it true that men rather like one to be oh,
well, you know just the least bit daring?’
“‘Truest thing in the
world,’ I says, ’but bless your heart,
did you suspicion riding breeches was daring on a
woman? Not so. A girl wearing ’em
can’t be any more daring after the first quick
shock is over than well, you read the magazines,
don’t you? You’ve seen those pictures
of family life in darkest Africa that the explorers
and monkey hunters bring home, where the wives, mothers,
and sweethearts, God bless ’em! wear only what
the scorching climate demands. Didn’t it
strike you that one of them women without anything
on would have a hard time if she tried to be daring or
did it? No woman can be daring without the proper
clothes for it,’ I says firmly, ’and as
for you, I tell you plain, get into the most daring
and immodest thing that was ever invented for woman which
is the well-known skirt.’
“‘Oh, Ma Pettengill,’
cries the poor thing, ’I never meant anything
horrid and primitive when I said daring. As a
matter of fact, I think these are quite modest to
the intelligent eye.’
“‘Just what I’m
trying to tell you,’ I says. ’Exactly
that; they’re modest to any eye whatever.
But here you are embarked on a difficult enterprise,
with a band of flinty-hearted cutthroats trying to
beat you to it, and, my dear child, you have a staunch
nature and a heart of gold, but you simply can’t
afford to be modest.’
“‘I don’t understand,’
says she, looking at herself in the glass again.
“‘Trust me, anyway,’
I implores. ’Let others wear their Non Plush
Ultras which are N’ she
tries to correct my pronunciation, but I wouldn’t
stop for that. ‘Never mind how it’s
pronounced,’ I says, ’because I know well
the meaning of it in a foreign language. It means
the limit, and it’s a very desirable limit for
many, but for you,’ I says plainly, ’it’s
different. Your Non Plush Ultra will have to be
a neat, ankle-length riding skirt. You got one,
haven’t you?’
“‘I have,’ says
she, ’a very pretty one of tan corduroy, almost
new, but I had looked forward to these, and I don’t
see yet ’
“Then I thought of another way
I might get to her without blurting out the truth.
‘Listen, Hetty,’ I says, ’and remember
not only that I’m your friend but that I know
a heap more about this fool world than you do.
I’ve had bitter experiences, and one of them
got me at the time I first begun to wear riding pants
myself, which must have been about the time you was
beginning to bite dents into your silver mug that Aunt
Caroline sent. I was a handsome young hellion,
I don’t mind telling you, and they looked well
on me, and when Lysander John urged me to be brave
and wear ’em outside I was afraid all the men
within a day’s ride was going to sneak round
to stare at me. My! I was so embarrassed,
also with that same feeling you got in your heart
this minute that it was taking an unfair advantage
of any man you know! I felt like I
was using all the power of my young beauty for unworthy
ends.
“’Well, do you know what
I got when I first rode out on the ranch? I got
just about the once-over from every brute there, and
that was all. If one of them ranch hands had
ever ogled me a second time I’d have known it
all right, but I never caught one of the scoundrels
at it. First I said: “Now, ain’t
that fine and chivalrous?” Then I got wise.
It wasn’t none of this here boasted Western
chivalry, but just plain lack of interest. I
admit it made me mad at first. Any man on the
place was only too glad to look me over when I had
regular clothes on, but dress me like Lysander John
and they didn’t look at me any oftener than they
did him. Not as often, of course, because as a
plain human being and man’s equal I wasn’t
near as interesting as he was.’
“‘But then, too,’
says Hetty, who had only been about half listening
to my lecture, ’I thought it might be striking
a blow at the same time for the freedom of woman.’
“Well, you know how that freedom-of-the-sex
talk always gets me going. I was mad enough for
a minute to spank her just as she stood there in them
Non Plush Ultras she was so proud of. And
I did let out some high talk. Mrs. Dutton told
her afterward she thought sure we was having words.
“‘Freedom from skirts,’
I says, ’is the last thing your sex wants.
Skirts is the final refuge of immodesty, to which women
will cling like grim death. They will do any
possible thing to a skirt slit it, thin
it, shorten it, hike it up one side people
are setting up nights right now thinking up some new
thing to do to it but women won’t
give it up and dress modestly as men do because it’s
the only unfair drag they got left with the men.
I see one of our offended sex is daily asking right
out in a newspaper: “Are women people?”
I’d just like to whisper to her that no one
yet knows.
“’If they’ll quit
their skirts, dress as decently as a man does so they
won’t have any but a legitimate pull with him,
we’d have a chance to find out if they’re
good for anything else. As a matter of fact, they
don’t want to be people and dress modestly and
wear hats you couldn’t pay over eight dollars
for. I believe there was one once, but the poor
thing never got any notice from either sex after she
became a people, as you might say.’
“Well, I was going on to get
off a few more things I’d got madded up to,
but I caught the look in poor Hetty’s face, and
it would have melted a stone. Poor child!
There she was, wanting a certain man and willing to
wear or not wear anything on earth that would nail
him, and not knowing what would do it, and complicating
her ignorance with meaningless worries about modesty
and daringness and the freedom of her poor sex, that
ain’t ever even deuce-low with one woman in a
million.
“And right then, watching her
distress, all at once I get my big inspiration it
just flooded me like the sun coming up. I don’t
know if I’m like other folks, but things do
come to me that way. And not only was it a great
truth, but it got me out of the hole of having to tell
Hetty certain truths about herself that these Non Plush
Ultras made all too glaring.
“‘Listen,’ I says:
’You believe I’m your friend, don’t
you? And you believe anything I tell you is from
the heart out and will probably have a grain of sense
in it. Well, here is an inspired thought:
Women won’t ever dress modestly like men do
because men don’t want ’em to. I never
saw a man yet that did if he’d tell the truth,
and so this here dark city stranger won’t be
any exception. Now, then, what do we see on Saturday
next? Why, we see this here gay throng sally forth
for Stender’s Spring, the youth and beauty of
Red Gap, including Mr. D., with his nice refined odour
of Russia leather and bank bills of large size from
fifties up that haven’t been handled
much. The crowd is of all sexes, technically,
like you might say; a lot of nice, sweet girls along
but dressed to be mere jolly young roughnecks, and
just as interesting to the said stranger as the regular
boys that will be present hardly more so.
And now, as for poor little meek you you
will look wild and Western, understand me, but feminine;
exactly like the coloured cigarette picture that says
under it “Rocky Mountain Cow Girl.”
You will be in your pretty tan skirt be
sure to have it pressed and a blue-striped
sport bloose that I just saw in the La Mode window,
and you’ll get some other rough Western stuff
there, too: a blue silk neckerchief and a natty
little cow-girl sombrero the La Mode is
showing a good one called the La Parisienne
for four fifty-eight and the daintiest
pair of tan kid gauntlets you can find, and don’t
forget a pair of tan silk stockings ’
“‘They won’t show
in my riding boots,’ says Hetty, looking as if
she was coming to life a little.
“‘Tush for the great,
coarse, commonsense riding boots,’ I says firmly;
’you will wear precisely that neat little pair
of almost new tan pumps with the yellow bows that
you’re standing in now. Do you get me?’
“‘But that would be too dainty and absurd,’
says Hetty.
“‘Exactly!’ I says, shutting my
mouth hard.
“‘Why, I almost believe
I do get you,’ says she, looking religiously
up into the future like that lady saint playing the
organ in the picture.
“‘Another thing,’
I says: ’You are deathly afraid of a horse
and was hardly ever on one but once when you were
a teeny girl, but you do love the open life, so you
just nerved yourself up to come.’
“‘I believe I see more
clearly than ever,’ says Hetty. She grew
up on a ranch, knows more about a horse than the horse
himself does, and would be a top rider most places,
with the cheap help we get nowadays that can hardly
set a saddle.
“‘Also from time to time,’
I goes on, ’you want to ask this Mr. D. little,
timid, silly questions that will just tickle him to
death and make him feel superior. Ask him to
tell you which legs of a horse the chaps go on, and
other things like that; ask him if the sash that holds
the horrid old saddle on isn’t so tight it’s
hurting your horse. After the lunch is et, go
over to the horse all alone and stroke his nose and
call him a dear and be found by the gent when he follows
you over trying to feed the noble animal a hard-boiled
egg and a couple of pickles or something. Take
my word for it, he’ll be over all right and have
a hearty laugh at your confusion, and begin to wonder
what it is about you.
“‘How about falling off
and spraining my ankle on the way back?’ demands
the awakening vestal with a gleam in her eye.
“‘No good,’ I says;
’pretty enough for a minute, but it would make
trouble if you kept up the bluff, and if there’s
one thing a man hates more than another it’s
to have a woman round that makes any trouble.’
“‘You have me started
on a strange new train of thought,’ says Hetty.
“‘I think it’s a
good one,’ I tells her, ’but remember there
are risks. For one thing, you know how popular
you have always been with all the girls. Well,
after this day none of ’em will hardly speak
to you because of your low-lifed, deceitful game,
and the things they’ll say of you such
things as only woman can say of woman!’
“‘I shall not count the
cost,’ says she firmly. ’And now I
must hurry down for that sport bloose blue-striped,
you said?’
“‘Something on that order,’
I says, ’that fits only too well. You can
do almost anything you want to with your neck and arms,
but remember strictly a skirt is your one
and only Non Plush Ultra.’
“So I went home all flushed
and eager, thinking joyously how little men the
poor dubs ever suspect how it’s put
over on ’em, and the next day, which was Friday,
I thought of a few more underhand things she could
do. So when she run in to see me that afternoon,
the excitement of the chase in her eye, she wanted
I should go along on this picnic. I says yes,
I will, being that excited myself and wanting to see
really if I was a double-faced genius or wasn’t
I? Henrietta Price couldn’t go on account
of being still lame from her ride of a week ago, so
I could go as chaperone, and anyway I knew the dear
girls would all be glad to have me because I would
look so different from them like a genial
old ranch foreman going out on rodeo and
the boys was always glad to see me along anyway.
‘I’ll be there,’ I says to Hetty.
’And here don’t forget at all
times to-morrow to carry this little real lace handkerchief
I’m giving you.’
“I was at the meeting-place
next morning at nine. None of the other girls
was on time, of course, but that was just as well,
because Aggie Tuttle had got her father to come down
to the sale yard to pack a mule with the hampers of
lunch. Jeff Tuttle is a good packer all right,
but too inflamed in the case of a mule, which he hates.
They always know up and down that street when he’s
packing one; ladies drag their children by as fast
as they can. But Jeff had the hitch all throwed
before any of the girls showed up, and all began in
a lovely manner, the crowd of about fifteen getting
off not more than an hour late; Mr. Burchell in the
lead and a bevy of these jolly young rascals in their
Non Plush Ultras riding herd on him.
“Every girl cast cordial glances
of pity at poor Hetty when she showed up in her neat
skirt and silly tan pumps with the ridiculous silk
stockings and the close-fitting blue-striped thing,
free at the neck, and her pretty hair all neated under
the La Parisienne cow-girl hat. Oh,
they felt kinder than ever before to poor old Hetty
when they saw her as little daring as that, cheering
her with a hearty uproar, slapping their Non Plush
Ultras with their caps or gloves, and then giggling
confidentially to one another. Hetty accepted
their applause with what they call a pretty show of
confusion and gored her horse with her heel on the
off side so it looked as if the vicious brute was running
away and she might fall off any minute, but somehow
she didn’t, and got him soothed with frightened
words and by taking the hidden heel out of his slats though
not until Mr. D. had noticed her good and then looked
again once or twice.
“And so the party moved on for
an hour or two, with the roguish young roughnecks
cutting up merrily at all times, pretending to be cowboys
coming to town on pay day, swinging their hats, giving
the long yell, and doing roughriding to cut each other
away from the side of Mr. D. every now and then, with
a noisy laugh of good nature to hide the poisoned
dagger. Daisy Estelle Maybury is an awful good
rider, too, and got next to the hero about every time
she wanted to. Poor thing, if she only knew that
once she gets off a horse in ’em it makes all
the difference in the world.
“The dark city stranger seemed
to enjoy it fine, all this noise and cutting up and
cowboy antics like they was just a lot of high-spirited
young men together, but I never weakened in my faith
for one minute. ‘Laugh on, my proud beauties,’
I says, ’but a time will come, just as sure
as you look and act like a passel of healthy boys.’
And you bet it did.
“We hadn’t got halfway
to Stender’s Spring till Mr. D. got off to tighten
his cinch, and then he sort of drifted back to where
Hetty and I was. I dropped back still farther
to where a good chaperone ought to be and he rode
in beside Hetty. The trail was too narrow then
for the rest to come back after their prey, so they
had to carry on the rough work among themselves.
“Hetty acted perfect. She
had a pensive, withdrawn look ’aloof,’
I guess the word is like she was too tender
a flower, too fine for this rough stuff, and had ought
to be in the home that minute telling a fairy story
to the little ones gathered at her decently clad knee.
I don’t know how she done it, but she put that
impression over. And she tells Mr. D. that in
spite of her quiet, studious tastes she had resolved
to come on this picnic because she loves Nature oh!
so dearly, the birds and the wild flowers and the
great rugged trees that have their message for man
if he will but listen with an understanding heart didn’t
Mr. D. think so, or did he? But not too much
of this dear old Nature stuff, which can be easy overdone
with a healthy man; just enough to show there was
hidden depths in her nature that every one couldn’t
find.
“Then on to silly questions
about does a horse lie down when it goes to sleep
each night after its hard day’s labour, and isn’t
her horse’s sash too tight, and what a pretty
fetlock he has, so long and thick and brown Oh,
do you call that the mane? How absurd of poor
little me! Mr. Daggett knows just everything,
doesn’t he? He’s perfectly terrifying.
And where in the world did he ever learn to ride so
stunningly, like one of those dare-devils in a Wild
West entertainment? If her own naughty, naughty
horse tries to throw her on the ground again where
he can bite her she’ll just have Mr. D. ride
the nassy olé sing and teach him better manners,
so she will. There now! He must have heard
that just see him move his funny ears don’t
tell her that horses can’t understand things
that are said. And, seriously now, where did Mr.
D. ever get his superb athletic training, because,
oh! how all too rare it is to see a brain-worker of
strong mentality and a splendid athlete in one and
the same man. Oh, how pathetically she had wished
and wished to be a man and take her place out in the
world fighting its battles, instead of poor little
me who could never be anything but a homebody to worship
the great, strong, red-blooded men who did the fighting
and carried on great industries not even
an athletic girl like those dear things up ahead and
this horse is bobbing up and down like that on purpose,
just to make poor little me giddy, and so forth.
Holding her bridle rein daintily she was with the
lace handkerchief I’d give her that cost me
twelve fifty.
“Mr. D. took it all like a real
man. He said her ignorance of a horse was adorable
and laughed heartily at it. And he smiled in a
deeply modest and masterful way and said ’But,
really, that’s nothing nothing at
all, I assure you,’ when she said about how he
was a corking athlete and then kept still
to see if she was going on to say more about it.
But she didn’t, having the God-given wisdom to
leave him wanting. And then he would be laughing
again at her poor-little-me horse talk.
“I never had a minute’s
doubt after that, for it was the eyes of one fascinated
to a finish that he turned back on me half an hour
later as he says: ’Really, Mrs. Pettengill,
our Miss Hester is feminine to her finger tips, is
she not?’ ‘She is, she is,’ I answers.
’If you only knew the trouble I had with the
chit about that horrible old riding skirt of hers
when all her girl friends are wearing a sensible costume!’
Hetty blushed good and proper at this, not knowing
how indecent I might become, and Mr. D. caught her
at it. Aggie Tuttle and Stella Ballard at this
minute is pretending to be shooting up a town with
the couple of revolvers they’d brought along
in their cunning little holsters. Mr. D. turns
his glazed eyes to me once more. ‘The real
womanly woman,’ says he in a hushed voice, ‘is
God’s best gift to man.’ Just like
that.
“‘Landed!’ I says
to myself. ’Throw him up on the bank and
light a fire.’
“And mebbe you think this tet-a-tet
had not been noticed by the merry throng up front.
Not so. The shouting and songs had died a natural
death, and the last three miles of that trail was covered
in a gloomy silence, except for the low voices of
Hetty and the male she had so neatly pronged.
I could see puzzled glances cast back at them and catch
mutterings of bewilderment where the trail would turn
on itself. But the poor young things didn’t
yet realize that their prey was hanging back there
for reasons over which he hadn’t any control.
They thought, of course, he was just being polite
or something.
“When we got to the picnic place,
though, they soon saw that all was not well.
There was some resumption of the merrymaking as they
dismounted and the girls put one stirrup over the
saddle-horn and eased the cinch like the boys did,
and proud of their knowledge, but the glances they
now shot at Hetty wasn’t bewildered any more.
They was glances of pure fright. Hetty, in the
first place, had to be lifted off her horse, and Mr.
D. done it in a masterly way to show her what a mere
feather she was in his giant’s grasp. Then
with her feet on the ground she reeled a mite, so
he had to support her. She grasped his great strong
arm firmly and says: ’It’s nothing I
shall be right presently leave me please,
go and help those other girls.’ They had
some low, heated language about his leaving her at
such a crisis, with her gripping his arm till I bet
it showed for an hour. But finally they broke
and he loosened her horse’s sash, as she kept
quaintly calling it, and she recovered completely
and said it had been but a moment’s giddiness
anyway, and what strength he had in those arms, and
yet could use it so gently, and he said she was a
brave, game little woman, and the picnic was served
to one and all, with looks of hearty suspicion and
rage now being shot at Hetty from every other girl
there.
“And now I see that my hunch
has been even better than I thought. Not only
does the star male hover about Hetty, cutely perched
on a fallen log with her dainty, gleaming ankles crossed,
and looking so fresh and nifty and feminine, but I’m
darned if three or four of the other males don’t
catch the contagion of her woman’s presence and
hang round her, too, fetching her food of every kind
there, feeding her spoonfuls of Aggie Tuttle’s
plum preserves, and all like that, one comical thing
after another. Yes, sir; here was Mac Gordon and
Riley Hardin and Charlie Dickman and Roth Hyde, men
about town of the younger dancing set, that had knowed
Hetty for years and hardly ever looked at her here
they was paying attentions to her now like she was
some prize beauty, come down from Spokane for over
Sunday, to say nothing of Mr. D., who hardly ever
left her side except to get her another sardine sandwich
or a paper cup of coffee. It was then I see the
scientific explanation of it, like these high-school
professors always say that science is at the bottom
of everything. The science of this here was that
they was all devoting themselves to Hetty for the simple
reason that she was the one and only woman there present.
“Of course these girls in their
modest Non Plush Ultras didn’t get the
scientific secret of this fact. They was still
too obsessed with the idea that they ought to be ogled
on account of them by any male beast in his right
senses. But they knew they’d got in wrong
somehow. By this time they was kind of bunching
together and telling each other things in low tones,
while not seeming to look at Hetty and her dupes, at
which all would giggle in the most venemous manner.
Daisy Estelle left the bunch once and made a coy bid
for the notice of Mr. D. by snatching his cap and
running merrily off with it about six feet. If
there was any one in the world except Hetty could
make a man hate the idea of riding pants for women,
she was it. I could see the cold, flinty look
come into his eyes as he turned away from her to Hetty
with the pitcher of lemonade. And then Beryl
Mae Macomber, she gets over close enough for Mr. D.
to hear it, and says conditions is made very inharmonious
at home for a girl of her temperament, and she’s
just liable any minute to chuck everything and either
take up literary work or go into the movies, she don’t
know which and don’t care all kind
of desperate so Mr. D. will feel alarmed about a beautiful
young thing like that out in the world alone and unprotected
and at the mercy of every designing scoundrel.
But I don’t think Mr. D. hears a word of it,
he’s so intently listening to Hetty who says
here in this beautiful mountain glade where all is
peace how one can’t scarcely believe that there
is any evil in the world anywhere, and what a difference
it does make when one comes to see life truly.
Then she crossed and recrossed her silken ankles, slightly
adjusted her daring tan skirt, and raised her eyes
wistfully to the treetops, and I bet there wasn’t
a man there didn’t feel that she belonged in
the home circle with the little ones gathered about,
telling ’em an awfully exciting story about
the naughty, naughty, bad little white kitten and
the ball of mamma’s yarn.
“Yes, sir; Hetty was as much
of a revelation to me in one way as she would of been
to that party in another if I hadn’t saved her
from it. She must have had the correct female
instinct all these years, only no one had ever started
her before on a track where there was no other entries.
With those other girls dressed like she was Hetty would
of been leaning over some one’s shoulder to
fork up her own sandwiches, and no one taking hardly
any notice whether she’d had some of the hot
coffee or whether she hadn’t. And the looks
she got throughout the afternoon! Say, I wouldn’t
of trusted that girl at the edge of a cliff with a
single pair of those N’s anywhere near.
“After the lunch things was
packed up there was faint attempts at fun and frolic
with songs and chorus Riley Hardin has a
magnificent bass voice at times and Mac Gordon and
Charlie Dickman and Roth Hyde wouldn’t be so
bad if they’d let these Turkish cigarettes alone and
the boys got together and sung some of their good
old business-college songs, with the girls coming
in while they murdered Hetty with their beautiful eyes.
But Hetty and Mr. D. sort of withdrew from the noisy
enjoyment and talked about the serious aspects of
life and how one could get along almost any place
if only they had their favourite authors. And
Mr. D. says doesn’t she sing at all, and she
says, Oh! in a way; that her voice has a certain parlour
charm, she has been told, and she sings at you
can’t really call it singing two or
three of the old Scotch songs of homely sentiment
like the Scotch seem to get into their songs as no
other nation can, or doesn’t he think so, and
he does, indeed. And he’s reading a wonderful
new novel in which there is much of Nature with its
lessons for each of us, but in which love conquers
all at the end, and the girl in it reminds him strongly
of her, and perhaps she’ll be good enough to
sing for him just for him alone in the dusk if
he brings this book up to-morrow night so he can show
her some good places in it.
“At first she is sure she has
a horrid old engagement for to-morrow night and is
so sorry, but another time, perhaps Ain’t
it a marvel the crooked tricks that girl had learned
in one day! And then she remembers that her engagement
is for Tuesday night what could she have
been thinking of! and come by all means only
too charmed and how rarely nowadays does
one meet one on one’s own level of culture, or
perhaps that is too awful a word to use so
hackneyed but anyway he knows what she
means, or doesn’t he? He does.
“Pretty soon she gets up and
goes over to her horse, picking her way daintily in
the silly little tan pumps, and seems to be offering
the beast something. The stricken man follows
her the second he can without being too raw about
it, and there is the adorably feminine thing with a
big dill pickle, two deviled eggs, and a half of one
of these Camelbert cheeses for her horse. Mr.
D. has a good masterly laugh at her idea of horse
fodder and calls her ‘But, my dear child!’
and she looks prettily offended and offers this chuck
to the horse and he gulps it all down and noses round
for more of the same. It was an old horse named
Croppy that she’d known from childhood and would
eat anything on earth. She rode him up here once
and he nabbed a bar of laundry soap off the back porch
and chewed the whole thing down with tears of ecstasy
in his eyes and frothing at the mouth like a mad dog.
Well, so Hetty gives mister man a look of dainty superiority
as she flicks crumbs from her white fingers with my
real lace handkerchief, and he stops his hearty laughter
and just stares, and she says what nonsense to think
the poor horses don’t like food as well as any
one. Them little moments have their effect on
a man in a certain condition. He knew there probably
wasn’t another horse in the world would touch
that truck, but he couldn’t help feeling a strange
new respect for her in addition to that glorious masculine
protection she’d had him wallowing in all day.
“The ride home, at least on
the part of the Non Plush Ultra cut-ups, was like
they had laid a loved one to final rest out there on
the lone mountainside. The handsome stranger
and Hetty brought up the rear, conversing eagerly
about themselves and other serious topics. I believe
he give her to understand that he’d been pretty
wild at one time in his life and wasn’t any
too darned well over it yet, but that some good womanly
woman who would study his ways could still take him
and make a man of him; and her answering that she
knew he must have suffered beyond human endurance
in that horrible conflict with his lower nature.
He said he had.
“Of course the rabid young hoydens
up ahead made a feeble effort now and then to carry
it off lightly, and from time to time sang ’My
Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean,’ or ‘Merrily
We Roll Along,’ with the high, squeaky tenor
of Roth Hyde sounding above the others very pretty
in the moonlight, but it was poor work as far as these
enraged vestals was concerned. If I’d
been Hetty and had got a strange box of candy through
the mail the next week, directed in a disguised woman’s
hand, I’d of rushed right off to the police
with it, not waiting for any analysis. And she,
poor thing, would get so frightened at bad spots, with
the fierce old horse bobbing about so dangerous, that
she just has to be held on. And once she wrenched
her ankle against a horrid old tree on the trail she
hadn’t been able to resist a little one and
bit her under lip as the spasm of pain passed over
her refined features. But she was all right in
a minute and begged Mr. D. not to think of bathing
it in cold water because it was nothing nothing
at all, really now and he would embarrass
her frightfully if he said one more word about it.
And Mr. D. again remarked that she was feminine to
her finger tips, a brave, game little woman, one of
the gamest he ever knew. And pretty soon what
was she thinking about now? Why, she was merely
wondering if horses think in the true sense of the
word or only have animal instinct, as it is called.
And wasn’t she a strange, puzzling creature to
be thinking on deep subjects like that at such a time!
Yes, she had been called puzzling as a child, but
she didn’t like it one bit. She wanted to
be like other girls, if he knew what she meant.
He seemed to.
“They took Hetty home first
on account of her poor little ankle and sung ‘Good
Night, Ladies,’ at the gate. And so ended
a day that was wreck and ruin for most of our sex
there present.
“And to show you what a good,
deep, scientific cause I had discovered, the next
night at Hetty’s who shows up one by one but
these four men about town, each with a pound of mixed
from the Bon Ton Handy Kitchen, and there they’re
all setting at the feet of Hetty, as it were, in her
new light summer gown with the blue bows, when Mr.
D. blows in with a two-pound box and the novel in
which love conquered all. So excited she was
when she tells me about it next day. The luck
of that girl! But after all it wasn’t luck,
because she’d laid her foundations the day before,
hadn’t she? Always look a little bit back
of anything that seems to be luck, say I.
“And Hetty with shining eyes
entertained one and all with the wit and sparkle a
woman can show only when there’s four or five
men at her at once it’s the only
time we ever rise to our best. But she got a chance
for a few words alone with Mr. D., who took his hat
finally when he sees the other four was going to set
him out; enough words to confide to him how she loathed
this continual social racket to which she was constantly
subjected, with never a let-up so one could get to
one’s books and to one’s real thoughts.
But perhaps he would venture up again some time next
week or the week after not getting coarse
in her work, understand, even with him flopping around
there out on the bank and he give her one
long, meaning look and said why not to-morrow night,
and she carelessly said that would be charming, she
was sure she didn’t think of any
engagement at this minute and it was ever
so nice of him to think of poor little me.
“Then she went back and gave
the social evening of their life to them four boys
that had stayed. She said she couldn’t thank
them enough for coming this evening which
is probably the only time she had told the truth in
thirty-six hours and they all made merry.
Roth Hyde sang ‘Sally in Our Alley’ so
good on the high notes that the Duttons was all out
in the hall listening; and Riley Hardin singing ’Down,
Diver, Down, ‘Neath the Deep Blue Waves!’
and Mac Gordon singing his everlasting German songs
in their native language, and Charlie Dickman singing
a new sentimental one called ‘Ain’t There
at Least One Gentleman Here?’ about a fair young
lady dancer being insulted in a gilded cafe in some
large city; and one and all voted it was a jolly evening
and said how about coming back to-morrow night, but
Hetty said no, it was her one evening for study and
she couldn’t be bothered with them, which was
a plain, downright so-and-so and well she knew it,
because that girl’s study was over for good
and all.
“Well, why string it out?
I’ve give you the facts. And my lands!
Will you look at that clock now? Here’s
the morning gone and this room still looking like
the inside of a sheep-herder’s wagon! Oh,
yes, and when Hetty was up here this time that she
wouldn’t wear my riding pants down, she says.
’Not only that, but I’m scrupulously careful
in all ways. Why, I never even allow dear Burchell
to observe me in one of those lace boudoir caps that
so many women cover up their hair with when it’s
their best feature but they won’t take time to
do it.’
“Now was that spoken like a
wise woman or like the two-horned Galumpsis Caladensis
of East India, whose habits are little known to man?
My Lord! Won’t I ever learn to stop?
Where did I put that dusting cloth?”