On the Arrowhead Ranch it was noon
by the bell that Lew Wee loves to clang. It may
have been half an hour earlier or later on other ranches,
for Lew Wee is no petty precisian. Ma Pettengill
had ridden off at dawn; and, rather than eat luncheon
in solitary state, I joined her retainers for the
meal in the big kitchen, which is one of my prized
privileges. A dozen of us sat at the long oilcloth-covered
table and assuaged the more urgent pangs of hunger
in a haste that was speechless and far from hygienic.
No man of us chewed the new beef a proper number of
times; he swallowed intently and reached for more.
It was rather like twenty minutes for dinner at what
our railway laureates call an eating house. Lew
Wee shuffled in bored nonchalance between range and
table. It was an old story to him.
The meal might have gone to a silent
end, though moderating in pace; but we had with us
to-day as a toastmaster will put it the
young veterinary from Spokane. This made for
talk after actual starvation had been averted fragmentary
gossip of the great city; of neighbouring ranches
in the valley, where professional duty had called him;
of Adolph, our milk-strain Durham bull, whose indisposition
had brought him several times to Arrowhead; and then
of Squat, our youngest cowboy, from whose fair brow
the intrepid veterinary, on his last previous visit,
had removed a sizable and embarrassing wen with what
looked to me like a pair of pruning shears.
The feat had excited much uncheerful
comment among Squat’s confreres, bets
being freely offered that he would be disfigured for
life, even if he survived; and what was the sense
of monkeying with a thing like that when you could
pull your hat down over it? Of course you couldn’t
wear a derby with it; but no one but a darned town
dude would ever want to wear a derby hat, anyway,
and the trouble with Squat was, he wished to be pretty.
It was dollars to doughnuts the thing would come right
back again, twice as big as ever, and better well
enough alone. But Squat, who is also known as
Timberline, and is, therefore, a lanky six feet three,
is young and sensitive and hopeful, and the veterinary
is a matchless optimist; and the thing had been brought
to a happy conclusion.
Squat, being now warmly urged, blushingly
turned his head from side to side that all might remark
how neatly his scar had healed. The veterinary
said it had healed by first intention; that it was
as pretty a job as he’d ever done on man or
beast; and that Squat would be more of a hit then
ever with the ladies because of this interesting chapter
in his young life. Then something like envy shone
in the eyes of those who had lately disparaged Squat
for presuming to thwart the will of God; I detected
in more than one man there the secret wish that he
had something for this ardent expert to eliminate.
Squat continued to blush pleasurably and to bolt his
food until another topic diverted this entirely respectful
attention from him. The veterinary asked if we
had heard about the Indian ruction down at Kulanche
last night Kulanche Springs being the only
pretense to a town between our ranch and Red Gap a
post-office, three general stores, a score of dwellings,
and a low drinking place known as The Swede’s.
The news had not come to us; so the veterinary obliged.
A dozen Indians, drifting into the valley for the
haying about to begin, had tarried near Kulanche and
bought whiskey of the Swede. The selling of this
was a lawless proceeding and the consumption of it
by the purchasers had been hazardous in the extreme.
Briefly, the result had been what is called in newspaper
headlines a stabbing affray. I quote from our
guest’s recital:
“Then, after they got calmed
down and hid their knives, and it looked peaceful
again, they decided to start all over; but the liquor
was out, so that old scar-faced Pyann jumps on a pony
and rides over from the camp for a fresh supply.
He pulled up out in front of the Swede’s
and yelled for three bottles to be brought out to
him, pronto! If he’d sneaked round to the
back door and whispered he’d have got it
all right, but this was a little too brash, because
there were about a dozen men in the bar and the Swede
was afraid to sell an Injin whiskey so openly.
All he could do was go to the door and tell this
pickled aborigine that he never sold whiskey
to Injins and to get the hell out of there! Pyann
called the Swede a liar and some other things,
mentioning dates, and started to climb off his
pony, very ugly.
“The Swede wasn’t going
to argue about it, because we’d all come out
in front to listen; so he pulled his gun and let it
off over Pyann’s head; and a couple of
the boys did the same thing, and that started
the rest about six others had guns till
it sounded like a bunch of giant crackers going
off. Old Pyann left in haste, all right.
He was flattened out on his pony till he looked like
a plaster.
“We didn’t hear any more
of him last night, but coming up here this morning
I found out he’d done a regular Paul Revere ride
to save his people; he rode clear up as far as
that last camp, just below here, on your place,
yelling to every Injin he passed that they’d
better take to the brush, because the whites had
broken out at Kulanche. At that, the Swede
ought to be sent up, knowing they’ll fight
every time he sells them whiskey. Two of these
last night were bad cut in this rumpus.”
“Yes; and he’d ought to
be sent up for life for selling it to white men, too the
kind he sells.” This was Sandy Sawtelle,
speaking as one who knew and with every sign of conviction.
“It sure is enterprising whiskey. Three
drinks of it make a decent man want to kill his little
golden-haired baby sister with an axe. Say, here’s
a good one lemme tell you! I
remember the first time, about three, four years ago ”
The speaker was interrupted it
seemed to me with intentional rudeness. One man
hurriedly wished to know who did the cutting last night;
another, if the wounded would recover; and a third,
if Pete, an aged red vassal of our own ranch, had
been involved. Each of the three flashed a bored
glance at Sandy as he again tried for speech:
“Well, as I was saying, I remember
the first time, about three, four years ago ”
“If old Pete was down there
I bet his brother-in-law did most of the knifework,”
put in Buck Devine firmly.
It was to be seen that they all knew
what Sandy remembered the first time and wished not
to hear it again. Others of them now sought to
stifle the memoir, while Sandy waited doggedly for
the tide to ebb. I gathered that our Pete had
not been one of the restive convives, he being
known to have spent a quiet home evening with his mahala
and their numerous descendants, in their camp back
of the wood lot; I also gathered that Pete’s
brother-in-law had committed no crime since Pete quit
drinking two years before. There was veiled mystery
in these allusions to the brother-in-law of Pete.
It was almost plain that the brother-in-law was a
lawless person for whose offenses Pete had more than
once been unjustly blamed. I awaited details;
but meantime
“Well, as I was saying, I remember
the first time, about three, four years ago ”
Sandy had again dodged through a breach
in the talk, quite as if nothing had happened.
Buck Devine groaned as if in unbearable anguish.
The others also groaned as if in unbearable anguish.
Only the veterinary and I were polite.
“Oh, let him get it offen
his chest,” urged Buck wearily. “He’ll
perish if he don’t having two men
here that never heard him tell it.” He
turned upon the raconteur, with a large sweetness of
manner: “Excuse me, Mr. Sawtelle!
Pray do go on with your thrilling reminiscence.
I could just die listening to you. I believe
you was wishing to entertain the company with one
of them anecdotes or lies of which you have so rich
a store in that there peaked dome of yours. Gents,
a moment’s silence while this rare personality
unfolds hisself to us!”
“Say, lemme tell you here’s
a good one!” resumed the still placid Sandy.
“I remember the first time, about three, four
years ago, I ever went into The Swede’s.
A stranger goes in just ahead of me and gets to the
bar before I do, kind of a solemn-looking, sandy-complected
little runt in black clothes.
“‘A little of your best
cooking whiskey,’ says he to the Swede, while
I’m waiting beside him for my own drink.
“The Swede sets out the bottle
and glass and a whisk broom on the bar. That
was sure a new combination on me. ‘Why the
whisk broom?’ I says to myself. ’I
been in lots of swell dives and never see no whisk
broom served with a drink before.’ So I
watch. Well, this sad-looking sot pours out his
liquor, shoots it into him with one tip of the glass;
and, like he’d been shot, he falls flat on the
floor, all bent up in a convulsion yes,
sir; just like that! And the Swede not even looking
over the bar at him!
“In a minute he comes out of
this here fit, gets on his feet and up to the bar,
grabs the whisk broom, brushes the dust off his clothes
where he’s rolled on the floor, puts back the
whisk broom, says, ’So long, Ed!’ to the
Swede and goes out in a very businesslike
manner.
“Then the Swede shoves the bottle
and a glass and the whisk broom over in front of me,
but I says: ’No, thanks! I just come
in to pass the time of day. Lovely weather we’re
having, ain’t it?’ Yes, sir; down he goes
like he’s shot, wriggles a minute, jumps up,
dusts hisself off, flies out the door; and the Swede
passing me the same bottle and the same broom, and
me saying: ‘Oh, I just come in to pass the
time of ’”
The veterinary and I had been gravely
attentive. The faces of the others wore not even
the tribute of pretended ennui. They had betrayed
an elaborate deafness. They now affected to believe
that Sandy Sawtelle had not related an anecdote.
They spoke casually and with an effect of polished
ease while yet here capitulated, as tale-tellers so
often will.
“I remember a kid, name of Henry
Lippincott, used to set in front of me at school,”
began Buck Devine, with the air of delicately breaking
a long silence; “he’d wiggle his ears
and get me to laughing out loud, and then I’d
be called up for it by teacher and like as not kept
in at recess.”
“You ought to seen that bunch
of tame alligators down to the San Francisco Fair,”
observed Squat genially. “The old boy that
had ’em says ’Oh, yes, they would make
fine pets, and don’t I want a couple for ten
dollars to take home to the little ones?’ But
I don’t. You come right down to household
pets I ruther have me a white rabbit or
a canary bird than an alligator you could step on
in the dark some night and get all bit up, and mebbe
blood poison set in.”
“I recollect same as if it was
yesterday,” began Uncle Abner quickly.
“We was coming up through northern Arizona one
fall, with a bunch of longhorns and we make this here
water hole about four P.M. or mebbe a mite
after that or a little before; but, anyway, I says
to Jeff Bradley, ‘Jeff,’ I says to him,
‘it looks to me almighty like ’”
Sandy Sawtelle savagely demanded a
cup of coffee, gulped it heroically, rose in a virtuous
hurry, and at the door wondered loudly if he was leaving
a bunch of rich millionaires that had nothing to do
but loaf in their club all the afternoon and lie their
heads off, or just a passell of lazy no-good cowhands
that laid down on the job the minute the boss stepped
off the place. Whereupon, it being felt that the
rabid anecdotist had been sufficiently rebuked, we
all went out to help the veterinary look at Adolph
for twenty minutes more.
Adolph is four years old and weighs
one ton. He has a frowning and fearsome front
and the spirit of a friendly puppy. The Arrowhead
force loafed about in the corral and imparted of its
own lore to the veterinary while he took Adolph’s
temperature. Then Adolph, after nosing three
of the men to have his head rubbed, went to stand in
the rush-grown pool at the far end of the corral,
which the gallery took to mean that he still had a
bit of fever, no matter what the glass thing said.
The veterinary opposed a masterly
silence to this majority diagnosis, and in the absence
of argument about it there seemed nothing left for
the Arrowhead retainers but the toil for which they
were paid. They went to it lingeringly, one by
one, seeming to feel that perhaps they wronged the
ailing Adolph by not staying there to talk him over.
Uncle Abner, who is the Arrowhead
blacksmith, was the last to leave or think
of leaving though he had mule shoes to shape
and many mules to shoe. He glanced wistfully
again at Adolph, in cool water to his knees, tugged
at his yellowish-white beard, said it was a dog’s
life, if any one should ask me, and was about to slump
mournfully off to his shop when his eye
suddenly brightened.
“Will you look once at that
poor degraded red heathen, acting like a whirlwind
over in the woodlot?”
I looked once. Pete, our Indian,
was apparently the sole being on the ranch at that
moment who was honestly earning his wage. No one
knows how many more than eighty years Pete has lived;
but from where we stood he was the figure of puissant
youth, rhythmically flashing his axe into bits of
wood that flew apart at its touch. Uncle Abner,
beside me, had again shrugged off the dread incubus
of duty. He let himself go restfully against
the corral bars and chuckled a note of harsh derision.
“Ain’t it disgusting!
I bet he never saw the boss when she rode off this
A.M. Yes, sir; that poor benighted pagan must
think she’s still in the house prob’ly
watching him out of the east winder this very minute.”
“What’s this about his brother-in-law?”
I asked.
“Oh, I dunno; some silly game
he tries to come the roots over folks with. Say,
he’s a regular old murderer, and not an honest
hair in his head! Look at the old cheat letting
on to be a good steady worker because he thinks the
boss is in the house there, keeping an eye on him.
Ain’t it downright disgusting!”
Uncle Abner said this as one supremely
conscious of his own virtue. He himself was descending
to no foul pretense.
“A murderer, is he?”
I opened my cigarette case to the
man of probity. He took two, crumpled the tobacco
from the papers and stuffed it into his calabash pipe.
“Sure is he a murderer! A tough one, too.”
The speaker moved round a corner of
the barn and relaxed to a sitting posture on the platform
of the pump. It brought him into the sun; but
it also brought him where he could see far down the
road upon which his returning employer would eventually
appear. His eyes ever haunted the far vistas
of that road; otherwise he remained blissfully static.
It should perhaps be frankly admitted
that Uncle Abner is not the blacksmith of song and
story and lithographed art treasure, suitable for
framing. That I have never beheld this traditional
smith the rugged, upstanding tower of brawn
with muscles like iron bands is beside the
point. I have not looked upon all the blacksmiths
in the world, and he may exist. But Uncle Abner
can’t pose for him. He weighs a hundred
and twenty pounds without his hammer, is lean to scrawniness,
and his arms are those of the boys you see at the
track meet of Lincoln Grammar School Number Seven.
The mutilated derby hat he now wore, a hat that had
been weathered from plum colour to a poisonous green a
shred of peacock feather stuck in the band lent
his face no dignity whatever.
In truth, his was not an easy face
to lend dignity to. It would still look foolish,
no matter what was lent it. He has a smug fringe
of white curls about the back and sides of his head,
the beard of a prophet, and the ready speech of a
town bore. The blacksmith we read of can look
the whole world in the face, fears not any man, and
would far rather do honest smithing any day in the
week except Sunday than live
the life of sinful ease that Uncle Abner was leading
for the moment.
Uncle Abner may have feared no man;
but he feared a woman. It was easy to see this
as he chatted the golden hours away to me. His
pale eyes seldom left the road where it came over
a distant hill. When the woman did arrive Oh,
surely the merry clang of the hammer on the anvil would
be heard in Abner’s shop, where he led a dog’s
life. But, for a time at least
“So he’s one of these tough murderers,
is he?”
“You said it! Always a-creating
of disturbances up on the reservation, where he rightly
belongs. Mebbe that’s why they let him go
off. Anyway, he never stays there. Even
in his young days they tell me he wouldn’t stay
put. He’d disappear for a month and always
come back with a new wife. Talk about your Mormons!
One time they sent out a new agent to the reservation,
and he hears talk back and forth of Pete philandering
thisaway; and he had his orders from the Gov’ment
at Washington, D.C., to stamp out this here poly-gamy or
whatever you call it; so he orders Pete up on the
carpet and says to him: ’Look here now,
Pete! You got a regular wife, ain’t you?’
Pete says sure he has; and how could he say anything
else the old liar! ‘Well,’
says Mr. Agent, ’I want you to get this one
regular wife of yours and lead a decent, orderly home
life with her; and don’t let me hear no more
scandalous reports about your goings on.’
“Pete says all right; but he
allows he’ll have to have help in getting her
back home, because she’s got kind of antagonistic
and left him. The agent says he’ll put
a stop to that if Pete’ll just point her out.
So they ride down about a mile from the agency to
a shack where they’s a young squaw out in front
graining a deerhide and minding her own business.
She looked up when they come and started to jaw Pete
something fierce; but the agent tells her the Gov’ment
frowns on wives running off, and Pete grabbed her;
and the agent he helps, with her screeching and biting
and clawing like a female demon. The agent is
going to see that Pete has his rights, even if it
don’t seem like a joyous household; and finally
they get her scrambled onto Pete’s horse in front
of him and off they go up the trail. The agent
yells after ’em that Pete is to remember that
this is his regular wife and he’d better behave
himself from now on.
“And then about sunup next morning
this agent is woke up by a pounding on his door.
He goes down and here’s Pete clawed to a frazzle
and whimpering for the law’s protection because
his squaw has chased him over the reservation all
night trying to kill him. She’d near done
it, too. They say old Pete was so scared the
agent had to soothe him like a mother.”
Uncle Abner paused to relight his
pipe, meantime negotiating a doubly vigilant survey
of the distant road. But I considered that he
had told me nothing to the discredit of Pete, and
now said as much.
“You couldn’t blame the
man for wanting his wife back, could you?” I
demanded. “Of course he might have been
more tactful.”
“Tactful’s the word,”
agreed Uncle Abner cordially. “You see,
this wasn’t Pete’s wife at all. She
was just a young squaw he’d took a fancy to.”
“Oh!” Nothing else seemed quite so fitting
to say.
“’Nother time,”
resumed the honest blacksmith, “the Gov’ment
at Washington, D.C., sent out orders for all the Injun
kids to be sent off to school. Lots of the fathers
made trouble about this, but Pete was the worst of
all the old scoundrel! The agent said
to him would Pete send his kids peaceful; and Pete
said not by no means. So the agent says in that
case they’ll have to take ’em by force.
Pete says he’ll be right there a-plenty when
they’re took by force. So next day the agent
and his helper go down to Pete’s tepee.
It’s pitched up on a bank just off the road
and they’s a low barrier of brush acrost the
front of it. They look close at this and see
the muzzle of a rifle peeking down at ’em; also,
they can hear little scramblings and squealings of
about a dozen or fourteen kids in the tepee that was
likely nestled up round the old murderer like a bunch
of young quail.
“Well, they was something kind
of cold and cheerless about the muzzle of this rifle
poked through the brush at ’em; so the agent
starts in and makes a regular agent speech to Pete.
He says the Great White Father at Washington, D.C.,
has wished his children to be give an English education
and learnt to write a good business hand, and all like
that; and read books, and so on; and the Great White
Father will be peeved if Pete takes it in this rough
way. And the agent is disappointed in him, too,
and will never again think the same of his old friend,
and why can’t he be nice and submit to the decencies
of civilization and so on a
lot of guff like that; but all the time he talks this
here rifle is pointing right into his chest, so you
can bet he don’t make no false motions.
“At last, when he’s told
Pete all the reasons he can think up and guesses mebbe
he’s got the old boy going, he winds up by saying:
’And now what shall I tell the Great White Father
at Washington you say to his kind words?’ Old
Pete, still not moving the rifle a hair’s breadth,
he calls out: ’You tell the Great White
Father at Washington to go to hell!’ Yes, sir;
just like that he says it; and I guess that shows you
what kind of a murderer he is. And what I allus
say is, ’what’s the use of spending us
taxpayers’ good money trying to educate trash
like that, when they ain’t got no sense of decency
in the first place, and the minute they learn to talk
English they begin to curse and swear as bad as a
white man? They got no wish to improve their condition,
which is what I allus have said and what I allus
will say.
“Anyway, this agent didn’t
waste no more time on Pete’s brats. He come
right away from there, though telling his helper it
was a great pity they couldn’t have got a good
look into the tepee, because then they’d have
known for the first time just what kids round there
Pete really considered his. Of course he hadn’t
felt he should lay down his life in the interests
of this trifling information, and I don’t blame
him one bit. I wouldn’t have done it myself.
You can’t tell me a reservation with Pete on
it would be any nice place. Look at the old crook
now, still lamming that axe round to beat the cars
because he thinks he’s being watched! I
bet he’ll be mad down to his moccasins when he
finds out the Old Lady’s been off all day.”
Uncle Abner yawned and stretched his
sun-baked form with weary rectitude. Then he
looked with pleased dismay into the face of his silver
watch.
“Now, I snum! Here she’s
two-thirty! Don’t it beat all how time flits
by, as it were, when you meet a good conversationalist
and get started on various topics! Well, I guess
like as not I better amble along over toward the little
shop and see if they ain’t some little thing
to be puttered at round there. Yes, sir; all
play and no work makes Jack a dull boy, as the saying
is.”
The honest fellow achieved a few faltering
paces in the general direction of his shop. Then
he turned brightly.
“A joke’s a joke, all
right; but, after all, I hate to see old Pete working
hisself into the grave that way, even if he ain’t
a regular human being. Suppose you loaf over
there and put him wise that the Madam’s been
off the place since sunup. The laugh’s on
him enough already.”
Which showed that Uncle Abner had
not really a bad heart. And I did even as he
had said.
Pete was instantly stilled by my brief
but informing speech. He leaned upon his axe
and gazed at me with shocked wonder. The face
of the American Indian is said to be unrevealing to
be a stoic mask under which his emotions are ever
hidden. For a second time this day I found tradition
at fault. Pete’s face was lively and eloquent
under his shock of dead-black hair dead
black but for half a dozen gray or grayish strands,
for Pete’s eighty years have told upon him, even
if he is not yet sufficiently gray at the temples
to be a hero in a magazine costing over fifteen cents.
His face is a richly burnished mahogany and tells
little of his years until he smiles; then from brow
to pointed chin it cracks into a million tiny wrinkles,
an intricate network of them framing his little black
eyes, which are lashless, and radiating from the small
mouth to the high cheek bones of his race.
His look as he eyed me became utter
consternation; then humour slowly lightened the little
eyes. He lifted the eyes straight into the glare
of the undimmed sun; nor did they blink as they noted
the hour. “My good gosh!” he muttered;
then stalked slowly round the pile of stove wood that
had been spreading since morning. He seemed aggrieved yet
humorously aggrieved as he noted its noble
dimensions. He cast away the axe and retrieved
some outflung sticks, which he cunningly adjusted to
the main pile to make it appear still larger to the
casual eye.
“My good gosh!” he muttered
again. “My old mahala she tell me Old Lady
Pettengill go off early this morning; but I think she
make one big mistake. Now what you know about
that?” He smiled winningly now and became a
very old man indeed, the smile lighting the myriad
minute wrinkles that instantly came to life.
Again he ruefully surveyed the morning’s work.
“I think that caps the climax,” said he,
and grimanced humorous dismay for the entertainment
of us both.
I opened my cigarette case to him.
Like his late critic, Pete availed himself of two,
though he had not the excuse of a pipe to be filled.
One he coyly tucked above his left ear and one he
lighted. Then he sat gracefully back upon his
heels and drew smoke into his innermost recesses,
a shrunken little figure of a man in a calico shirt
of gay stripes, faded blue overalls, and shoes that
were remarkable as ruins. With a pointed chip
in the slender fingers of one lean brown hand a
narrow hand of quite feminine delicacy he
cleared the ground of other chips and drew small figures
in the earth.
“Some of your people cut up
in a fight down at Kulanche last night,” I remarked
after a moment of courteous waiting.
“Mebbe,” said Pete, noncommittal.
“Were you down there?”
“I never kill a man with a knife,” said
Pete; “that ain’t my belief.”
He left an opening that tempted, but
I thought it wise to ignore that for the moment.
“You an old man, Pete?”
“Mebbe.”
“How old?”
“Oh, so-so.”
“You remember a long time ago how
long?”
He drew a square in his cleared patch
of earth, subdivided it into little squares, and dotted
each of these in the centre before he spoke.
“When Modocs have big soldier fight.”
“You a Modoc?”
“B’lieve me!”
“When Captain Jack fought the soldiers over
in the Lava Beds?”
“Some fight b’lieve
me!” said Pete, erasing his square and starting
a circle.
“You fight, too?”
“Too small; I do little odd
jobs when big Injin kill soldier I skin
um head.”
I begged for further items, but Pete
seemed to feel that he had been already verbose.
He dismissed the historic action with a wise saying:
“Killing soldiers all right;
but it don’t settle nothing.” He drew
a triangle.
Indelicately then I pried into his spiritual life.
“You a Christian, Pete?”
“Injin-Christian,” he amended as
one would say
“Progressive-Republican.”
“Believe in God?”
“Two.” This was a guarded admission;
I caught his side glance.
“Which ones?” I asked
it cordially; and Pete smiled as one who detects a
brother liberal in theology.
“Injin God; Christian God.
Injin God go like this ” He brushed
out his latest figure and drew a straight line a foot
long. And Christian God go so he drew
a second straight line perpendicular to the first.
I was made to see the line of his own God extending
over the earth some fifty feet above its surface,
while the line of the Christian God went straight
and endlessly into the heavens. “Injin God
stay close Christian God go straight up.
Whoosh!” He looked toward the zenith to indicate
the vanishing line. “I think mebbe both
O.K. You think both O.K.?”
“Mebbe,” I said.
Pete retraced the horizontal line
of his own God and the perpendicular line of the other.
“Funny business,” said he tolerantly.
“Funny business,” I echoed.
And then the moment seeming ripe for intimate
personal research: “Pete, how about that
brother-in-law of yours? Is he a one-God Christian
or a two-God, like you?”
He hurriedly brushed out his lines,
flashed me one of his uneasy side glances, and seemed
not to have heard my question. He sprang lightly
from his heels, affected to scan a murky cloud-bank
to the south, ignited his second cigarette from the
first, and seemed relieved by the actual diversion
of Laura, his present lawful consort, now plodding
along the road just outside the fence.
Laura is ponderous and billowy, and
her moonlike face of rusty bronze is lined to show
that she, too, has gone down a little into the vale
of years. She was swathed in many skirts, her
shoulders enveloped by a neutral-tinted shawl, and
upon her head was a modist toque of light straw, garlanded
with pink roses. This may have been her hunt constume,
for the carcasses of two slain rabbits swung jauntily
from her girdle. She undulated by us with no
sign. Pete’s glistening little eyes lingered
in appraisal upon her noble rotundities and her dangling
quarry. Then, with a graceful flourish of the
new cigarette, he paid tribute to the ancient fair.
“That old mahala of mine, she
not able to chew much now; but she’s some swell
chicken b’lieve me!”
I persisted in the impertinence he had sought to turn.
“How about this brother-in-law of yours, Pete?”
Again he was deaf. He picked
up his axe, appearing to weigh the resumption of his
task against a reply to this straight question.
He must have found the alternative too dreadful; he
leaned upon the axe, thus winning something of the
dignity of labour, with none of its pains, and grudgingly
asked:
“Mebbe some liars tell you in
conversation about that old b’other-in-law?”
“Of course! Many nice people
tell me every day. They tell me all about him.
I rather hear you tell me. Is he a Christian?”
“He’s one son-of-gun,
pure and simple that old feller. He
caps the climax.”
“Yes; I know all about that.
He’s a bad man. I hear everything about
him. Now you tell me again. You can tell
better than liars.”
“One genuine son-of-gun!”
persisted Pete, shrewdly keeping to general terms.
“Oh, very well!” I rose
from the log I was sitting on, yawning my indifference.
“I know everything he ever did. Other people
tell me all the time.”
I moved off a few steps under the
watchful side glance. It worked. One of
Pete’s slim, womanish hands fluttered up in a
movement of arrest.
“Those liars tell you about
one time he shoot white man off horse going by?”
“Certainly!”
“That white man still have smallpox
to give all Injins he travel to; so they go ‘n’
vote who kill him off quick, and my b’other-in-law
he win it.”
I tried to look as if this were a bit of stale gossip.
“Then whites raise hell to say
Pete he do same. What you know about that?
My old b’other-in-law send word he do same twenty,
fifty Injin witness tell he said so and
now he gon’ hide far off. Dep’ty sheriff
can’t find him. That son-of-gun come back
next year, raise big fight over one span mules with
Injin named Walter that steal my mules out of pasture;
and Walter not get well from it so whites
say yes, old Pete done that same killing scrape to
have his mules again; plain as the nose on the face
old Pete do same. But I catch plenty Injin witness
see my b’other-in-law do same, and I think they
can’t catch him another time once more, because
they look in all places he ain’t. I think
plenty too much trouble he make all time for me perform
something not nice and get found out about it; and
all people say, Oh, yes that old Pete he’s
at tricks again; he better get sent to Walla Walla,
learn some good trade in prison for eighteen years.
That b’other-in-law cap the climax! He
know all good place to hide from dep’ty sheriff,
so not be found when badly wanted the son-of-gun!”
Pete’s face now told that, despite
the proper loathing inspired by his misdeeds, this
brother-in-law compelled a certain horrid admiration
for his gift of elusiveness.
“What’s your brother-in-law’s name?”
Pete deliberated gravely.
“In my opinion his name Edward;
mebbe Sam, mebbe Charlie; I think more it’s
Albert.”
“Well, what about that next time he broke out?”
“Whoosh! Damn no-good squaw
man get all Injins drunk on whiskey; then play poker
with four aces. ’What you got? No good four
aces hard luck deal ’em
up!’” Pete’s flexible wrists here
flashed in pantomime. “Pretty soon Injin
got no mules, no blanket, no spring wagon, no gun,
no new boots, no nine dollars my old mahala gets paid
for three bushel wild plums from Old Lady Pettengill
to make canned goods of only got one big
sick head from all night; see four aces, four kings,
four jacks. ’What you got, Pete? No
good. Full house here. Hard luck my
deal. Have another drink, old top!’”
“Well, what did your brother-in-law do when
he heard about this?”
“Something!”
“Shoot?”
“Naw; got no gun left. Choke him on the
neck I think this way.”
The supple hands of Pete here clutched
his corded throat, fingertips meeting at the back,
and two potent thumbs uniting in a sinister pressure
upon his Adam’s apple. To further enlarge
my understanding he contorted his face unprettily.
From rolling eyes and outthrust tongue it was apparent
that the squaw man had survived long enough to regret
the inveteracy of his good luck at cards.
“Then what?”
“Man tell you before?” He eyed me with
frank suspicion.
“Certainly; you tell, too!”
“That b’other-in-law he
win everything back this poor squaw man don’t
need no more, and son-of-gun beat it quick; so all
liars say Old Pete turn that trick, but can’t
prove same, because my b’other-in-law do same
in solitude. And old judge say: ’Oh,
well, can’t prove same in courthouse, and only
good squaw man is dead squaw man; so what-the-bad-place!’
I think mebbe.”
“Go on; what about that next time?”
“You know already,” said Pete firmly.
“You tell, too.”
He pondered this, his keen little
eyes searching my face as he pensively fondled the
axe.
“You know about this time that
son-of-gun go ‘n’ kill a bright lawyer
in Red Gap? I think that cap the climax!”
“Certainly, I know!” This with bored impatience.
“I think, then, you tell me.” His
seamed face was radiant with cunning.
“What’s the use? You know it already.”
He countered swiftly:
“What’s use I tell you you
know already.”
I yawned again flagrantly.
“Now you tell in your own way
how this trouble first begin,” persisted Pete
rather astonishingly. He seemed to quote from
memory.
Once more I yawned, turning coldly away.
“You tell in your own words,”
he was again gently urging; but on the instant his
axe began to rain blows upon the log at his feet.
Sounds of honest toil were once more
to be heard in the wood lot; and, though I could not
hear the other, I surmised that the sledge of Uncle
Abner now rang merrily upon his anvil. Both he
and Pete had doubtless noted at the same moment the
approach of Mrs. Lysander John Pettengill, who was
spurring her jaded roan up the long rise from the creek
bottom.
My stalwart hostess, entirely masculine
to the eye from a little distance, strode up from
the corral, waved a quirt at me in greeting, indicated
by another gesture that she was dusty and tired, and
vanished briskly within the ranch house. Half
an hour later she joined me in the living-room, where
I had trifled with ancient magazines and stock journals
on the big table. Laced boots, riding breeches,
and army shirt had gone for a polychrome and trailing
tea gown, black satin slippers, flashing rhinestone
rosettes, and silk stockings of a sinful scarlet.
She wore a lace boudoir cap, plenteously beribboned,
and her sunburned nose had been lavishly powdered.
She looked now merely like an indulged matron whose
most poignant worry would be a sick Pomeranian or
overnight losses at bridge. She wished to know
whether I would have tea with her. I would.
Tea consisted of bottled beer from
the spring house, half a ham, and a loaf of bread.
It should be said that her behaviour toward these
dainties, when they had been assembled, made her seem
much less the worn social leader. There was practically
no talk for ten active minutes. A high-geared
camera would have caught everything of value in the
scene. It was only as I decanted a second bottle
of beer for the woman that she seemed to regain consciousness
of her surroundings. The spirit of her first
attack upon the food had waned. She did fashion
another sandwich of a rugged pattern, but there was
a hint of the dilettante in her work.
And now she spoke. Her gaze upon
the magazines of yesteryear massed at the lower end
of the table, she declared they must all be scrapped,
because they too painfully reminded her of a dentist’s
waiting-room. She wondered if there mustn’t
be a law against a dentist having in his possession
a magazine less than ten years old. She suspected
as much.
“There I’ll be sitting
in Doc Martingale’s office waiting for him to
kill me by inches, and I pick up a magazine to get
my mind off my fate and find I’m reading a timely
article, with illustrations, about Cervera’s
fleet being bottled up in the Harbour of Santiago.
I bet he’s got Godey’s Lady’s Book
for 1862 round there, if you looked for it.”
Now a brief interlude for the ingestion
of malt liquor, followed by a pained recital of certain
complications of the morning.
“That darned one-horse post-office
down to Kulanche! What do you think? I wanted
to send a postal card to the North American Cleaning
and Dye Works, at Red Gap, for some stuff they been
holding out on me a month, and that office didn’t
have a single card in stock nothing but
some of these fancy ones in a rack over on the grocery
counter; horrible things with pictures of brides and
grooms on ’em in coloured costumes, with sickening
smiles on their faces, and others with wedding bells
ringing out or two doves swinging in a wreath of flowers all
of ’em having mushy messages underneath; and
me having to send this card to the North American
Cleaning and Dye Works, which is run by Otto Birdsall,
a smirking old widower, that uses hair oil and perfumery,
and imagines every woman in town is mad about him.
“The mildest card I could find
was covered with red and purple cauliflowers or something,
and it said in silver print: ’With fondest
remembrance!’ Think of that going through the
Red Gap post-office to be read by old Mis’ Terwilliger,
that some say will even open letters that look interesting to
say nothing of its going to this fresh old Otto Birdsall,
that tried to hold my hand once not so many years ago.
“You bet I made the written
part strong enough not to give him or any other party
a wrong notion of my sentiments toward him. At
that, I guess Otto wouldn’t make any mistake
since the time I give him hell last summer for putting
my evening gowns in his show window every time he’d
clean one, just to show off his work. It looked
so kind of indelicate seeing an empty dress hung up
there that every soul in town knew belonged to me.
“What’s that? Oh,
I wrote on the card that if this stuff of mine don’t
come up on the next stage I’ll be right down
there, and when I’m through handling him he’ll
be able to say truthfully that he ain’t got a
gray hair in his head. I guess Otto will know
my intentions are honest, in spite of that ‘fondest
remembrance.’
“Then, on top of that, I had
a run-in with the Swede for selling his rotten whiskey
to them poor Injin boys that had a fight last night
after they got tight on it. The Swede laughs
and says nobody can prove he sold ’em a drop,
and I says that’s probably true. I says
it’s always hard to prove things. ‘For
instance,’ I says, ’if they’s another
drop of liquor sold to an Injin during this haying
time, and a couple or three nights after that your
nasty dump here is set fire to in six places, and some
cowardly assassin out in the brush picks you off with
a rifle when you rush out it will be mighty
hard to prove that anybody did that, too; and you
not caring whether it’s proved or not, for that
matter.
“‘In fact,’ I says,
’I don’t suppose anybody would take the
trouble to prove it, even if it could be easy proved.
You’d note a singular lack of public interest
in it if you was spared to us. I guess
about as far as an investigation would ever get the
coroner’s jury would say it was the work of
Pete’s brother-in-law; and you know what that
would mean.’ The Swede bristles up and
says: ‘That sounds like fighting talk!’
I says: ‘Your hearing is perfect.’
I left him thinking hard.”
“Pete’s brother-in-law?
That reminds me,” I said. “Pete was
telling me about him just I mean during
his lunch hour; but he had to go to work again just
at the beginning of something that sounded good about
the time he was going to kill a bright lawyer.
What was that?”
The glass was drained and Ma Pettengill
eyed the inconsiderable remains of the ham with something
like repugnance. She averted her face from it,
lay back in the armchair she had chosen, and rolled
a cigarette, while I brought a hassock for the jewelled
slippers and the scarlet silken ankles, so ill-befitting
one of her age. The cigarette was presently burning.
“I guess Pete’s b’other-in-law,
as he calls him, won’t come into these parts
again. He had a kind of narrow squeak this last
time. Pete done something pretty raw, even for
this liberal-minded community. He got scared
about it himself and left the country for a couple
of months looking for his brother-in-law,
he said. He beat it up North and got in with
a bunch of other Injins that was being took down to
New York City to advertise a railroad, Pete looking
like what folks think an Injin ought to look when
he’s dressed for the part. But he got homesick;
and, anyway, he didn’t like the job.
“This passenger agent that took
’em East put ’em up at one of the big
hotels all right, but he subjects ’em to hardships
they ain’t used to. He wouldn’t let
’em talk much English, except to say, ’Ugh!
Ugh!’ like Injins are supposed to with
a few remarks about the Great Spirit; and not only
that, but he makes ’em wear blankets and paint
their faces an Injin without paint and
blanket and some beadwork seeming to a general passenger
agent like a state capitol without a dome. And
on top of these outrages he puts it up with the press
agent of this big hotel to have the poor things sleep
up on the roof, right in the open air, so them jay
New York newspapers would fall for it and print articles
about these hardy sons of the forest, the last of
a vanishing race, being stifled by walls with
the names of the railroad and the hotel coming out
good and strong all through the piece.
“Three of the poor things got
pneumonia, not being used to such exposure; and Pete
himself took a bad cold, and got mad and quit the
job. They find him a couple of days later, in
a check suit and white shoes and a golf cap, playing
pool in a saloon over on Eighth Avenue, and ship him
back as a disgrace to the Far West and a great common
carrier.
“He got in here one night, me
being his best friend, and we talked it over.
I advised him to go down and give himself up and have
it over; and he agreed, and went down to Red Gap the
next day in his new clothes and knocked at the jail
door. He made a long talk about how his brother-in-law
was the man that really done it, and he’s been
searching for him clear over to the rising sun, but
can’t find him; so he’s come to give himself
up, even if they ain’t got the least grounds
to suspect him and can he have his trial
for murder over that afternoon, so he can come back
up here the next day and go to work?
“They locked him up and Judge
Ballard appointed J. Waldo Snyder to defend him.
He was a new young lawyer from the East that had just
come to Red Gap, highly ambitious and full of devices
for showing that parties couldn’t have been
in their right mind when they committed the deed see
the State against Jamstucker, New York Reports Number
23, pages 19 to 78 inclusive.
“Oh, he told me all about it
up in his office one day how he was going
to get Pete off. Ain’t lawyers the goods,
though! And doctors? This J.W. Snyder
had a doctor ready to swear that Pete was nutty when
he fired the shot, even if not before nor after.
When I was a kid at school, back in Fredonia, New
York State, we used to have debates about which does
the most harm fire or water? Nowadays
I bet they’d have: Which does the most
harm doctors or lawyers? Well, anyway,
there Pete was in jail ”
“Please tell in your own simple
words just how this trouble began,” I broke
in. “What did Pete fire the shot for and
who stopped it? Now then!”
“What! Don’t you
know about that? Well, well! So you never
heard about Pete sending this medicine man over the
one-way trail? I’ll have to tell you, then.
It was three years ago. Pete was camped about
nine miles the other side of Kulanche, on the Corporation
Ranch, and his little year-old boy was took badly
sick. I never did know with what. Diphtheria,
I guess. And I got to tell you Pete is crazy about
babies. Always has been. Thirty years ago,
when my own baby hadn’t been but a few weeks
born, Lysander John had to be in Red Gap with a smashed
leg and arm, and I was here alone with Pete for two
months of one winter. Say, he was better than
any trained nurse with both of us, even if my papoose
was only a girl one! Folks used to wonder afterward
if I hadn’t been afraid with just Pete round.
Good lands! If they’d ever seen him cuddle
that mite and sing songs to it in Injin about the rain
and the grass! Anyway, I got to know Pete so
well that winter I never blamed him much for what
come off.
“Well, this yearling of his
got bad and Pete was in two minds. He believed
in white doctors with his good sense, but he believed
in Injin doctors with his superstition, which was
older. So he tried to have one of each.
There was an old rogue of a medicine man round here
then from the reservation up north. He’d
been doing a little work at haying on the Corporation,
but he was getting his main graft selling the Injins
charms and making spells over their sick; a crafty
old crook playing on their ignorance understand?
And Pete, having got the white doctor from Kulanche,
thought he’d cinch matters by getting the medicine
man, too. At that, I guess one would of been
about as useful as the other, the Kulanche doctor
knowing more about anthrax and blackleg than he did
about sick Injin babies.
“The medicine man sees right
off how scared Pete is for his kid and thinks here’s
a chance to make some big money. He looks at the
little patient and says yes, he can cure him, sure;
but it’ll be a hard job and he can’t undertake
it unless Pete comes through with forty dollars and
his span of mules. But Pete ain’t got forty
dollars or forty cents, and the Kulanche doctor has
got to the mules already, having a lien on ’em
for twenty-five.
“Pete hurried over and put the
proposition up to me. He says his little chief
is badly sick and he’s got a fine white doctor,
but will I stake him to enough to get this fine Injin
doctor? thus making a cure certain.
Well, I tore into the old fool for wanting to let this
depraved old medicine man tamper with his baby, and
I warned him the Kulanche doctor probably wasn’t
much better. Then I tell him he’s to send
down for the best doctor in Red Gap at my expense
and keep him with the child till it’s well.
I tell him he can have the whole ranch if it would
cure his child, but not one cent for the Injin.
“Well, the poor boy is about
half convinced I’m right, but he’s been
an Injin too long to believe it all through.
He went off and sent for the Red Gap doctor, but he
can’t resist making another try for the Injin
one; and that old scoundrel holds out for his price.
Pete wants him to wait for his pay till haying is
over; but he won’t because he thinks Pete can
get the money from me now if he really has to have
it. Pete must of been crazy for fair about that
time.
“‘All right,’ says he; ‘you
can cure my little chief?’
“The crook says he can if the money is in his
hand.
“‘All right,’ says
Pete again; ’but if my little chief dies something
bad is going to happen to you.’
“That’s about all they
ever found out concerning this threat of Pete’s,
though another Injin who heard it said that Pete said
his brother-in-law would make the trouble not
Pete himself. Which was likely true enough.
“Pete’s little chief died
the night the Red Gap doctor got up here. Ten
minutes later this medicine man had hitched up his
team, loaded his plunder into a wagon, and was pouring
leather into his horses to get back home quick.
He knew Pete never talks just to hear himself talk.
They found him about thirty miles on his way slumped
down in the wagon bed, his team hitched by the roadside.
There had been just one careful shot. As he hadn’t
been robbed he had over” a hundred
dollars in gold on him it pointed a mite
too strong at Pete after his threat.
“A deputy sheriff come up.
Pete said his brother-in-law had been hanging round
lately and had talked very dangerous about the medicine
man. He said the brother-in-law had probably done
the job. But Pete had pulled this too often before
when in difficulties. The deputy said he’d
better come along down to Red Gap and tell the district
attorney about it. Pete said all right and crawled
into his tepee for his coat and hat crawled
right on out the back and into the brush while the
deputy rolled a cigarette.
“That was when he joined this
bunch of noble redmen to advertise the vanishing romance
of the Great West being helped out of the
country, I shouldn’t wonder, by some lawless
old hound that had feelings for him and showed it
when he come along in the night to the ranch where
he’d nursed her and her baby. They looked
for him a little while, then dropped it; in fact,
everybody was kind of glad he’d got off and kind
of satisfied that he’d put this bad Injin, with
his skull-duggery, over the big jump.
“Then he got homesick, like
I told you, and showed up here at the door; and I
saw it was better for him to give himself up and get
out of it by fair and legal means. Now!
You got it straight that far?”
I nodded.
“So Pete took my advice, and
a couple days later I hurried down to Red Gap and
had a talk with Judge Ballard and the district attorney.
The judge said it had been embarrassing to justice
to have my old Injin walk in on ’em, because
every one knew he was guilty. Why couldn’t
he of stayed up here where the keen-eyed officers
of the law could of pretended not to know he was?
And the old fool was only making things worse with
his everlasting chatter about his brother-in-law, every
one knowing there wasn’t such a person in existence old
Pete having had dozens of every kind of relation in
the world but a brother-in-law. But they’re
going to have this bright young lawyer defend him,
and they have hopes.
“Then I talked some. I
said it was true that everybody knew Pete bumped off
this old crook that had it coming to him, but they
could never prove it, because Pete had come to my
place and set up with me all night, when I had lumbago
or something, the very night this crime was done thirty-odd
miles distant by some person or persons unknown except
it could be known they had good taste about who needed
killing.
“At this Judge Ballard jumps
up and calls me an old liar and shook hands warmly
with me; and Cale Jordan, that was district attorney
then, says if Mrs. Pettengill will give him her word
of honour to go on the witness stand and perjure herself
to this effect then he don’t see no use of even
putting Kulanche County, State of Washington, to the
expense of a trial, the said county already being
deep in the hole for its new courthouse but
for mercy’s sake to stop the old idiot babbling
about his brother-in-law, that every one knows he
never had one, because such a joke is too great an
affront to the dignity of the law in such cases made
and provided to wit: tell the old fool
to say nothing except ’No, he never done it.’
And he shakes hands with me, too, and says he’ll
have an important talk with Myron Bughalter, the sheriff.
“I says that’s the best
way out of it, being myself a heavy taxpayer; and
I go see this Snyder lawyer, and then over to the jail
and get into Pete’s cell, where he’s having
a high old time with a sack of peppermint candy and
a copy of the Scientific American. I tell him
to cut out the brother-in-law stuff and just say ‘No’
to any question whatever. He said he would, and
I went off home to rest up after my hard ride.
“Judge Ballard calls that night
and says everything is fixed. No use putting
the county to the expense of a trial when Pete has
such a classy perjured alibi as I would give him.
Myron Bughalter is to go out of the jail in a careless
manner at nine-thirty that night, leaving all cells
unlocked and the door wide open so Pete can make his
escape without doing any damage to the new building.
It seems the only other prisoner is old Sing Wah,
that they’re willing to save money on, too.
He’d got full of perfumed port and raw gin a
few nights before, announced himself as a prize-hatchet
man, and started a tong war in the laundry of one of
his cousins. But Sing was sober now and would
stay so until the next New Year’s; so they was
going to let him walk out with Pete. The judge
said Pete would probably be at the Arrowhead by sunup,
and if he’d behave himself from now on the law
would let bygones be bygones. I thanked the judge
and went to bed feeling easy about old Pete.
“But at seven the next morning
I’m waked up by the telephone wanted
down to the jail in a hurry. I go there soon as
I can get a drink of hot coffee and find that poor
Myron Bughalter is having his troubles. He’d
got there at seven, thinking, of course, to find both
his prisoners gone; and here in the corridor is Pete
setting on the chest of Sing Wah, where he’d
been all night, I guess! He tells Myron he’s
a fool sheriff to leave his door wide open that way,
because this bad Chinaman tried to walk out as soon
as he’d gone, and would of done so it Pete hadn’t
jumped him.
“It leaves Myron plenty embarrassed,
but he finally says to Pete he can go free, anyway,
now, for being such an honest jailbird; and old Sing
Wah can go, too, having been punished enough by Pete’s
handling. Sing Wah slides out quickly enough
at this, promising to send Myron a dozen silk handkerchiefs
and a pound of tea. But not Pete. No, sir!
He tells Myron he’s give himself up to be tried,
and he wants that trial and won’t budge till
he gets it.
“Then Myron telephoned for the
judge and the district attorney, and for me.
We get there and tell Pete to beat it quick. But
the old mule isn’t going to move one step without
that trial. He’s fled back to his cell
and stands there as dignified as if he was going to
lay a cornerstone. He’s a grave rebuke
to the whole situation, as you might say. Then
the Judge and Cale go through some kind of a hocus-pocus
talk, winding up with both of them saying ‘Not
guilty!’ in a loud voice; and Myron says to
Pete: ’There! You had your trial; now
get out of my jail this minute.’
“But canny old Pete is still
balking. He says you can’t have a trial
except in the courthouse, which is upstairs, and they’re
trying to cheat a poor old Injin. He’s
talking loud by this time, and Judge Ballard says,
all right, they must humour the poor child of Nature.
So Myron takes Pete by the wrist in a firm manner though
Pete’s insisting he ought to have the silver
handcuffs on him and marches him out the
jail door, round to the front marble steps of the
new courthouse, up the steps, down the marble hall
and into the courtroom, with the judge and Cale Jordan
and me marching behind.
“We ain’t the whole procession,
either. Out in front of the jail was about fifteen
of Pete’s friends and relatives, male and female,
that had been hanging round for two days waiting to
attend his coming-out party. Mebbe that’s
why Pete had been so strong for the real courthouse,
wanting to give these friends something swell for their
trouble. Anyway, these Injins fall in behind
us when we come out and march up into the courtroom,
where they set down in great ecstasy. Every last
one of ’em has a sack of peppermint candy and
a bag of popcorn or peanuts, and they all begin to
eat busily. The steam heat had been turned on
and that hall of justice in three minutes smelt like
a cheap orphan asylum on Christmas-morning.
“Then, before they can put up
another bluff at giving Pete his trial, with Judge
Ballard setting up in his chair with his specs on and
looking fierce, who rushes in but this J. Waldo person
that is Pete’s lawyer. He’s seen
the procession from across the street and fears some
low-down trick is being played on his defenseless
client.
“He comes storming down the
aisle exclaiming; ’Your Honour, I protest against
this grossly irregular proceeding!’ The judge
pounds on his desk with his little croquet mallet
and Myron Bughalter tells Snyder, out of the corner
of his mouth, to shut up. But he won’t shut
up for some minutes. This is the first case he’d
had and he’s probably looked forward to a grand
speech to the jury that would make ’em all blubber
and acquit Pete without leaving the box, on the grounds
of emotional or erratic insanity or whatever
it is that murderers get let off on when their folks
are well fixed. He sputters quite a lot about
this monstrous travesty on justice before they can
drill the real facts into his head; and even then
he keeps coming back to Pete’s being crazy.
“Then Pete, who hears this view
of his case for the first time, begins to glare at
his lawyer in a very nasty way and starts to interrupt;
so the judge has to knock wood some more to get ’em
all quiet. When they do get still with
Pete looking blacker than ever at his lawyer Cale
Jordan says: ‘Pete, did you do this killing?’
Pete started to say mebbe his brother-in-law did,
but caught himself in time and said ‘No!’
at the same time starting for J. Waldo, that had called
him crazy. Myron Bughalter shoves him back in
his chair, and Cale Jordan says: ’Your
Honour, you have heard the evidence, which is conclusive.
I now ask that the prisoner at the bar be released.’
Judge Ballard frowns at Pete very stern and says:
’The motion is granted. Turn him loose,
quick, and get the rest of that smelly bunch out of
here and give the place a good airing. I have
to hold court here at ten o’clock.’
“Pete was kind of convinced
now that he’d had a sure-enough trial, and his
friends had seen the marble walls and red carpet and
varnished furniture, and everything; so he consented
to be set free not in any rush, but like
he was willing to do ’em a favour.
“And all the time he’s
keeping a bad little eye on J. Waldo. The minute
he gets down from the stand he makes for him and says
what does he mean by saying he was crazy when he done
this killing? J. Waldo tries to explain that
this was his only defense and was going on to tell
what an elegant defense it was; but Pete gets madder
and madder. I guess he’d been called everything
in the world before, but never crazy; that’s
the very worst thing you can tell an Injin.
“They work out toward the front
door; and then I hear Pete say: ’You know
what? You said I’m crazy. My b’other-in-law’s
going to make something happen to you in the night.’
Pete was seeing red by that time. The judge tells
Myron to hurry and get the room cleared and open some
windows. Myron didn’t have to clear it of
J.W. Snyder. That bright young lawyer dashed
out and was fifty feet ahead of the bunch when they
got to the front door.
“So Pete was a free man once
more, without a stain on his character except to them
that knew him well. But the old fool had lost
me a tenant. Yes, sir; this J.W. Snyder
young man, with the sign hardly dry on the glass door
of his office in the Pettengill Block, had a nervous
temperament to start with, and on top of that he’d
gone fully into Pete’s life history and found
out that parties his brother-in-law was displeased
with didn’t thrive long. He packed up his
law library that afternoon and left for another town
that night.
“Yes, Pete’s a wonder!
Watch him slaving away out there. And he must
of been working hard all day, even with me not here
to keep tabs on him. Just look at the size of
that pile of wood he’s done up, when he might
easy of been loafing on the job!”