Todborough Grange rejoiced in what
should be the adjunct of every country house a
large unfurnished room. It had been thrown out
expressly as a playroom for the children by Cedric
Bloxam’s father, and as they grew up proved
even more useful. Should the house be full and
the weather prove wet, what games of battledore and
shuttlecock, “bean-bags,” &c., were played
in it in the daytime, and what a ball-room it made
at night! There was no trouble moving out the
furniture or taking up the carpet, there being nothing
but a few benches and a piano in the room. At
one end was a slightly-raised stage, and off that
was a tiny chamber, originally known as the toy-room,
and pretty well dedicated to the same use now, being
stored with properties for cotillons, the aforesaid
games, theatrical representations, &c. There
was a regular drop-curtain to the stage, but that
was all. Scenery there was none. That was
fitted in when required, but would have been considered
in the way as a permanency, the stage being used at
times as an orchestra, at others as a tea-room.
It was raised not quite a foot above the floor, and
could therefore be easily stepped on to; in fact,
upon the few occasions that the Theatre Royal Todborough
opened, the entertainment had been confined invariably
to one-act farces. At such times it was spoken
of with considerable ostentation as a theatre; but
as a rule the old appellation was adhered to, and
it was generally known as the play-room. It was
in this room that the Misses Chipchase found Blanche,
Jim, Mr. Cottrell, Lionel Beauchamp, and the Sartorises
awaiting their arrival in the afternoon.
“Now, Miss Sylla,” exclaimed
Jim, “we are all ready for you. We have
installed you in command, and hereby promise attention
and obedience.”
“Honour and obey, Jim,”
interrupted Blanche, laughing; “but it is the
lady who should say it.”
“It does sound a little as if
he had strayed into the marriage service,” observed
Cottrell.
“Ladies and gentlemen not intending
to assist in this representation are requested to
withdraw,” retorted Jim, “by order of the
stage-manager, James Bloxam.”
“Come along, Mr. Cottrell:
he has right on his side; the audience have certainly
no business at the rehearsals.”
And, followed by the younger Miss
Chipchase, Cottrell, and Beauchamp, Blanche crossed
towards the door. At the threshold they were
arrested by Sylla, who exclaimed,
“You cannot all go; I must have
another gentleman. If Mr. Cottrell won’t
act, you must, Lionel.”
“I had no idea you acted,”
said Blanche Bloxam, with some little surprise; “you
said nothing about it this morning when we were talking
this over.”
It may have been some slight inflexion
of the voice that prompted the deduction; but certain
it was that as Pansey Cottrell heard that commonplace
little speech, he muttered to himself, “The lady
is beginning to take things in earnest, whatever Beauchamp
may be.”
“I have no idea that I can act,”
rejoined Lionel, laughing; “but I can stand
still in whatever attitude I am placed, and that, I
fancy, is all Sylla requires of me. You do not
feel any disposition to volunteer, I suppose, Mr.
Cottrell?”
“Heaven forbid!” rejoined
Mr. Cottrell fervently, “Miss Sylla might want
me to stand upon one leg. She will put some of
you in most uncomfortable attitudes, just for the
fun of the thing, I know.”
“Now,” said the manageress-elect,
as Mr. Cottrell closed the door behind him, “what
we have got to do is very simple. I have thought
of two words which will each represent in three tableaux.
Now, I propose that we arrange these tableaux six
in all and then, if we run through them
a second time, just to be sure we have not forgotten
our places, we shall have nothing to do but to talk
over any details that may occur to us. First,
Mrs. Sartoris, which will you represent, the Lady or
the Chambermaid of my charades?”
“Well, if you will allow me,
I think I will do the Lady,” said Mrs. Sartoris,
laughing. “I ought, at all events, to be
best in that; but there are three of us. What
is Miss Chipchase going to do?”
“Oh, she is the Band,”
rejoined Sylla. “You see, we must have
soft music all the way through these charades; and
we want somebody to play for us who knows what we
are about, and so can follow us.”
“And so,” interposed Miss
Chipchase, “we have settled that I shall play
the piano.”
“Very well, Mrs. Sartoris,”
said Sylla; “then we will consider that settled;
you do the Ladies and I do the Chambermaids.
Now, gentlemen, you must select your own lines.
What will you be, Mr. Sartoris Walking
Gentleman, Low Comedian, or Melodramatic Villain?”
“Oh, Melodramatic Villain,”
cried Mrs. Sartoris, “he will be delighted.
Tom’s theatrical proclivities, shocking to relate,
are murderous in the extreme. He is always complaining
that he is never entrusted with a real good assassination.”
“Then that’s settled,”
exclaimed Sylla. “Captain Bloxam will take
the Walking Gentleman, and Lionel can do the Low Comedy
part.”
Under the young manageress’s
energetic directions the tableaux were rapidly run
through. The little troupe worked with a will,
and in something under two hours they pronounced themselves
perfect, and predicted, as people always do under
these circumstances, that the performance would be
a great success.
“Now comes a question,”
said Jim, “as to scenery, properties, and dresses.
There is some little scenery in the granary that has
been used before at different times, and of course
we have a certain amount of properties. What
shall you want, Miss Sylla?” and Jim, taking
a sheet of paper and pencil in a very business-like
manner, prepared to make notes on the top of the piano.
“For the first charade,”
said Sylla, “the scenery should be a wood scene,
and then we want a lady’s bed-chamber.
The second charade is simply a drawing-room scene
all through. For properties a brace of pistols,
a pair of handcuffs, a jewel-box with plenty of bracelets,
rings, &c. we ladies can easily find those
amongst us. In the second, nothing but a letter
in bold handwriting. As for dresses, Mrs. Sartoris
and I can easily manage; and as for you gentlemen,
you want nothing but a policeman’s dress, a
livery, and a low comedy wig.”
“No trouble about any of those
things, Miss Sylla, unless it’s the low comedy
wig, and about that I have my doubts. However,
Beauchamp must manage the best he can with his own
hair if I can’t find one. There is only
one thing more you forgot to tell us, what
the second word is.”
“No forgetfulness at all, Captain
Bloxam,” replied the young lady, laughing.
“I am very curious to see if any of you, or
any of the audience, make that word out.”
“It’s high time we were
on our way home,” observed Miss Chipchase; “as
soon as you have given us a cup of tea, Jim, Sylla,
and I will be off.”
When the evening came there was really
a good sprinkling of visitors to look on or join in
whatever entertainment might be provided for them.
Jim the energetic, in pursuance of his mother’s
hints overnight, had not only sent over to the Rockcliffe
Camp, but had dispatched missives in all directions
by a groom on horseback, with the pithy intimation,
“Charades and an impromptu dance this evening
at nine. If you have nothing better to do, please
come.” Jim Bloxam was a popular man in
his neighbourhood, and the Grange had a reputation
for improvising pleasant entertainments in such fashion.
Lady Mary contemplated the forthcoming proceedings
with resignation, if not with satisfaction.
She had a presentiment that the evening would end
unpleasantly for her. She felt certain that Sylla
would contrive to pose as its heroine; and that the
niece of the woman she most detested in the world
should have the opportunity of for once assuming such
a position in the house of which she, Lady Mary, was
mistress, was exasperating. Pansey Cottrell,
too, had contributed not a little to her irritation
by dwelling somewhat persistently at dinner on Miss
Sylla’s dramatic talent. He had done this,
dear pleasant creature! simply for his own diversion.
He was acting as prompter to a little comedy of real
life; and it is ideas, not words, that the prompters
on such occasions instil into our minds. As
a rule, Pansey Cottrell would have judiciously shirked
such an entertainment as the one which he was now
with genuine curiosity taking his seat to witness.
Neither host nor hostess ever succeeded in persuading
him to do what he did not fancy. He would be
ill, retire to his own bed-room at the shortest possible
notice, would no more make up a fourth at whist, or
conduce to the entertainment of his fellows, than
volunteer for a turn on the treadmill. If his
entertainers troubled him much, he did not come their
way again. Of course, they need not ask him
unless they liked. But Mr. Cottrell knew society
well. Once assure such recognition as he had
done, and how obtained matters not an iota: the
more unmeasured your insolence to society, the more
does society bow down and worship.
“Where’s Brummell dished?”
Yes, but it was a mere matter of L.s.d.
that dished him. That he ever did tell the Prince
to ring the bell is unlikely; but society thought him
capable of doing so, and reverenced him accordingly.
The bell rings, and the fingers of
Laura Chipchase, who has already seated herself at
the piano, begin to move dreamily over the keys.
She plays well, and a soft weird-like melody attunes
the minds of the spectators to what is to follow.
Again the bell rings, and as the curtain slowly rises
comes the sharp report of a pistol. “Good
Heavens! there is some accident,” escapes from
three or four lips. But the wild ghostly music
still falls, without ceasing, from the piano.
Slowly the curtain continues to rise, and discovers
two men confronting each other after the approved
custom of duelling. On the proper stage right
stands Mr. Sartoris, with brows bent and sullen scowl
upon his lip; the nerveless hand by his side grasps
the still-smoking pistol. Opposite, and as far
from him as the space will admit, is Bloxam, his right
arm upraised, and his hand holding a pistol pointed
upwards. In the background stands Beauchamp,
in an attitude expressive of intense anxiety.
Having reached the ceiling, the curtain slowly commences
to descend. As it does so, Bloxam’s pistol
is discharged in the air, and the performers remain
unmovable till once more masked from the view of the
spectators.
“A duel!” exclaims Miss
Evesham; “what are we to make of that?”
“No, no, that won’t do,”
ejaculates the Squire: “he has missed missed,
don’t you see? Can’t be quite right;
but that’s the idea.”
“I have it,” rejoins Miss
Evesham; “you are right, Mr. Bloxam, that is
it. It’s not missed, but a miss.
There are lots of words, you know, begin with ‘miss.’”
Some slight delay, during which the
soft dreamy music still falters unceasingly from Laura
Chipchase’s fingers, and then the curtain once
more begins to ascend. There is no such sensational
effect as a pistol-report to startle the audience
this time. The scene represents a lady’s
dressing-room. In an arm-chair, placed on the
stage right opposite the toilette-table on the stage
left, attired as a smart lady’s-maid, reclines
Sylla sound asleep; on the table are scattered bracelets,
&c., and also stands an open jewel-case. Mr.
Sartoris, got up to represent a dog-stealer, a burglar,
or other member of the predatory classes, is in the
act of getting in a practicable window at the back
of the stage. A dark lantern is in his hand,
and his feet are artistically enshrined in india-rubbers.
Stealthily, with many melodramatic starts and gestures,
and anxious glances at the sleeping girl, he makes
his way to the toilette-table, fills his pockets with
the glittering gewgaws, then turns to depart, with
his plunder, silently as he had come. As he
passes the sleeping soubrette, she moves uneasily in
her chair. With a ferocious gesture the robber
draws from his breast an ominous-looking knife, pauses
for a moment, and then, reassured by her tranquillity,
makes his way to the window. As he disappears,
Mrs. Sartoris, an opera-cloak thrown over her ball-room
dress, and carrying a bed-room candle in her hand,
enters and crosses to the toilette-table. Placing
her candle on the table, she seizes the jewel-box,
and, it is evident, becomes cognizant that robbery
has been committed. As she turns, Sylla starts
from the chair in great confusion; Mrs. Sartoris points
to the table, and then with a start notices the open
window. The curtain descends upon Mrs. Sartoris
pointing in an accusing manner to the window, and
Sylla with clasped hands mutely protesting her innocence
and ignorance of the robbery.
With the clue afforded by the solution
of the first syllable, the audience very soon make
out the second; and that the word was either “mistake”
or “mistaken” they entertained little doubt.
Curiosity now centred on what version they would
give of the whole, for that each word was to be rendered
in three tableaux had been stated before the performance
commenced.
The curtain rises again upon the last
scene; and upon this occasion the representation is
motionless. In the centre of the stage, Lionel
Beauchamp, in the guise of a policeman, is snapping-to
the hand-cuffs on the weeping Sylla. On the
left, with averted head, stands Mrs. Sartoris, indicating
sorrow for the offender, but entire belief in her guilt.
On the opposite side, Jim Bloxam, attired in evening
costume, is unmistakably directing the officer to
remove his prisoner. Slowly the curtain descends
amid much acclamation and cries of “Mistake!”
In his capacity of stage-manager, Jim Bloxam glides
for a moment in front, and, in a few off-hand words
to the audience, acknowledges the correctness of their
apprehension.
“I give Jim credit for his exertions.
That really was most successful,” said Lady
Mary, as her son disappeared.
“I fancy the success is due
more to Miss Sylla than him,” rejoined Pansey
Cottrell, suavely. “Jim, as we all know,
though one of the best of fellows, is the most execrable
of actors; and I don’t think those tableaux
look like his inspiration.”
“I am sure he is quite as good
as the generality of amateurs,” retorted Lady
Mary, with no little asperity.
She was no more exempt from the true
womanly instinct that prompts the regarding of her
own chicks as swans than any of her sex. Mr.
Cottrell was much too quick-witted not to see that
his criticism was distasteful, but he never could
resist the temptation of teasing his fellow-creatures.
“Admitting, for the sake of
argument, Lady Mary,” he replied, “that
Jim is an average actor, when one knows that there
is rather exceptional talent in the troupe, one is
apt to regard that as the guiding spirit. Sylla
Chipchase is very clever at all this sort of thing,
I know, because I have seen her on previous occasions.”
“You seem to be losing your
head about that girl, Pansey, like the rest of them.
You all seem to think that she is wonderfully clever
because she happened to know that Mr. Beauchamp could
run.”
“I fancy she knows a good deal
more about him than that,” replied Mr. Cottrell
demurely.
“What do you mean? What
have you heard about her?” inquired Lady Mary,
somewhat eagerly.
“Nothing, further than she seemed
to be equally well aware that he could act.
But stop, they are commencing again.”
Slowly, as before, the curtain ascends
to a dreamy melody of the piano, and discovers Sylla,
attired as the smartest of soubrettes, in close
juxtaposition to Lionel Beauchamp in a groom’s
livery. Taking a letter from him, she places
it in her bosom, and then looks up at him with all
the devilry of coquetry in her eyes. She toys
with the corner of her apron, twiddling it backwards
and forwards between her fingers. She glances
demurely down at her feet, then looks shyly up at him
again; then once more studying her apron, she, as
if unconsciously, proffers her cheek in a manner too
provocative for any man to resist, and as the curtain
descends Lionel Beauchamp is apparently about to make
the most of his opportunity.
“By Jove!” laughed the
Squire, “in Beauchamp’s place I think I
would have been thoroughly realistic the
proper thing in these days!”
“Well,” whispered Lady
Mary to Pansey Cottrell, “of all the audacious
minxes! Mr. Beauchamp deserves great credit for
his discretion in waiting until the curtain fell before
he kissed her.”
That Lady Mary assumed the ceremony
was concluded may be easily imagined, while the audience
generally differed considerably about the scene, some
of the ladies contending that there was no necessity
for carrying dramatic representation quite so far;
while the men, on the other hand, thought that Beauchamp
did not carry it far enough.
The second scene discovers Mrs. Sartoris
in the centre of the stage, with Jim Bloxam on one
knee, kissing the hand she extends towards him.
On her other side, Mr. Sartoris, made up as an elderly
gentleman, with coat thrown very much back, thumbs
stuck in the armholes of his waistcoat, contemplates
the pair with a look of bland satisfaction. Again
the curtain descends, leaving the audience more at
sea than ever as to what the word can be. Nor
is the third scene calculated to throw much enlightenment
on the subject. In it Lionel Beauchamp, in his
groom’s dress, appears to be pantomimically
explaining something to the remainder of the company,
who are artistically grouped in the centre of the stage,
and which shrugs of the shoulders, upraised eyebrows,
and other gestures, indicate they either fail to understand,
or, it may be, to agree with. But the whole word,
like more ambitious dramatic representations, is somehow
involved in fog. You cannot help thinking that
it must be a good charade if you could only make out
what it was about; but when the curtain descends,
the audience, instead of at once proclaiming the word,
can hardly even make a guess at it. There are
cries for the stage-manager; and when Jim Bloxam appears
in reply to a laughing call, “The word? the
word?” he bows low to the audience, and regrets
his inability to comply with their request.
“The distinguished authoress,”
continued Jim, “has taken none of us into her
confidence. She has, I presume, strong opinions
on the subject of copyright, and is determined to
give no opportunity of its infringement.”
Jim’s speech created both merriment
and curiosity, and was followed by a prompt call of
“Author, author!” A few seconds, and then
the stage-manager responds by leading Sylla forward
in her soubrette dress. Dropping the sauciest
of curtsies in acknowledgment of the applause with
which she is greeted, she replies in clear distinct
tones,
“Ladies and gentlemen, you find
our word unintelligible. Paradoxical as it may
seem, that is precisely the result we have aimed at;
and now that I have told you the word, I am sure you
will admit our efforts have been successful;”
and once more bowing to her audience, Sylla disappeared
behind the curtain Jim held back for her.
What can she mean? What do they
mean? What is it? What was the word? were
questions responded to by the jolly laugh of Cedric
Bloxam.
“Can’t you see?”
he said, “it’s all a sell: we found
it unintelligible, and that is precisely what we were
meant to do that’s the word.”
And once more the Squire indulged in a hearty guffaw.
But now the company flock into the
drawing-room for tea or other refreshment, while the
servants rapidly clear the play-room for dancing.
The curtain is pulled up, the stage occupied by a select
section of the Commonstone band, and, in something
like a quarter of an hour Jim’s impromptu dance
is in full swing.
“My dear Sylla,” exclaimed
Lady Mary, as that young lady, leaning upon Bloxam’s
arm, stopped near her in one of the pauses of the valse,
“I have not had an opportunity of congratulating
you upon your very spirited pantomime carried,
my dear, a little too far in that last charade.”
“Oh, I hope you don’t
really think so, Lady Mary,” cried Sylla; “but
you cannot half act a thing. When the exigencies
of the stage require one to be embraced, one must
admit of that ceremony. Surely if a girl has
scruples about going through such a mere form, she
had much better decline to act at once.”
“That’s a question that
we will not argue,” said Lady Mary. “I
hear you are going to stay with Mrs. Wriothesley for
the remainder of the London season.”
“Yes, she is an aunt of mine; you know her,
I believe.”
“Very well; we are old friends,
although I don’t see so much of her as I once
did. The London world has got so very big, you
see, and Mrs. Wriothesley and I have drifted into
different sets.”
“Yes,” chimed in Pansey
Cottrell, who was standing by, “it has got perfectly
unendurable. One could calculate at one time
upon seeing a good deal of one’s friends during
the season; now half of them we only come across some
once or twice. But surely you and Mrs. Wriothesley
see a good deal of each other.”
“No, not in these days,”
rejoined Lady Mary, tartly, much to Mr. Cottrell’s
amusement.
He knew perfectly well that the two
ladies met continually, although there was little
cordiality between them. But Lady Mary’s
last speech showed him she intended to keep Mrs. Wriothesley
at arms’ length, if possible, for the future;
and Pansey Cottrell smiled as he thought that his
hostess’s schemes would, in all likelihood, be
as persistently thwarted in town as they had been
in the country.
“Well, I trust that Blanche
and I will contrive to see a good bit of each other
all the same,” replied Sylla courteously.
“You know my aunt, Captain Bloxam,” she
continued, as she moved away. “I should
have thought her an easy person to get on with; but
I am afraid Lady Mary does not like her.”