SCENE: The same, on the same
evening, after dinner. The sofa is now brought
down below the fireplace, and fronts the audience a
little diagonally, its right end being farthest up
stage. The small table with the hospital box,
and the easy chair are above the sofa, a little to
the right of it.
Enter RENIE,
much distressed and agitated. DOLLY follows
quickly, closes the
door cautiously and mysteriously.
Renie. But I don’t understand.
Captain Wentworth and I have been so little together
Dolly. Well, my dear, there
it is! My father is the last man to pry into
other people’s affairs, but you see it has been
forced upon his notice. And from the tone he
took
Renie. What tone?
Dolly. He was very severe.
Renie. [Alarmed.] But what did he say
he had seen?
Dolly. He wouldn’t go
into particulars. He seemed very much upset
Renie. Upset?!
Dolly. Perhaps I ought to say shocked.
Renie. Shocked?!
Dolly. And when my father is
shocked it must be something very glaring
Renie. [More and more alarmed.]
But there hasn’t been anything glaring
Dolly. Well, dear, of course, you know.
Renie. But I cannot imagine
[Suddenly.] It must have been that day at the
stile!
Dolly. Perhaps. What happened?
No, I don’t wish to hear
Renie. Captain Wentworth assisted me over the
stile
Dolly. Well?
Renie. That’s all.
He may have taken a little longer about it than was
quite necessary, and I may have leaned a little heavier
than the circumstances required. But it was all
done in perfectly good taste.
Dolly. [Shakes her head.]
It can’t have been the stile.
Renie. Then what ?
[Cudgels her brains.] The dairy!
Dolly. Very likely. Was
that very no, don’t tell me
Renie. There’s nothing
to tell. The woman at the farm, Mrs.
Dolly. Biggs
Renie. Biggs, asked me to go over her model
dairy.
Dolly. Did she ask Lucas?
Renie. He came. Mrs. Biggs
insisted on our tasting her mince pies
Dolly. Mince pies ? Yes?
Renie. While she went to get one
Dolly. Get one
Renie. She wasn’t out of the dairy ten
seconds
Dolly. No and then?
Renie. Captain Wentworth a
Dolly. Respected you!
Renie. [Firing up.]
He is always most respectful! In the most delicate,
exquisitely chivalrous way, he implored me for one
first and only kiss, and just as I was refusing him,
somebody passed the dairy windows
Dolly. My father often strolls that way
Renie. But I was quite cold
and correct [Very anxiously.]
Dolly, tell me exactly what Mr. Barron said?
Dolly. At first he was going
to speak to you himself, but I said, “No, that’s
my duty! I’m her oldest friend; I’ll
talk to her!”
Renie. Ye es?
Dolly. So, at last he consented,
and said: “Very well. Be very firm
with her, because this sort of thing taking place under
my very nose and under my daughter’s roof is
what I cannot, and will not, tolerate for one moment!”
Renie. He must have passed the dairy windows!
Dolly. Yes.
Renie. And jumped to a wrong conclusion.
Dolly. Yes. And that isn’t the worst
Renie. [Freshly alarmed.] Not the worst?!
Dolly. Now, don’t be alarmed, dear
Renie. About what?
Dolly. Didn’t you notice
something strange in your husband’s manner at
dinner?
Renie. No. What makes you think ?
Dolly. My dear, if my father
noticed it, why not your husband? Suppose all
this time the Professor has been quietly, stealthily
watching you and Lucas.
Renie. [Alarmed.] Dolly!
Dolly. And waiting his time
Renie. Oh, Dolly!
Dolly. Didn’t you notice
how he insisted on your going to the fish-pond?
Renie. Yes, he did!
Dolly. Didn’t it strike
you there was something in that?
Renie. No, and he hasn’t said anything
Dolly. Of course not.
Naturally he would hide his suspicions from you till
the right moment.
Renie. Right moment?
Dolly. Now, dear, you see how
serious things are. You mustn’t run any
more risks. This must be broken off to-night.
Renie. To-night?!
Dolly. Now, what can I do to help you?
Renie. You might tell Mr. Barron
there was nothing in the dairy windows.
Dolly. Of course I’ll tell him, but if
he saw
Renie. But there was nothing. Absolutely
nothing
Dolly. No, dear. What else can I do?
Renie. Could you find out exactly
how much he has seen and heard, and a pump
him a little?
Dolly. I don’t like pumping people still What
else?
Renie. [Breaking down.]
Oh, Dolly, this blow could not have fallen at a more
cruel moment.
Dolly. No, dear.
Renie. It came just when I
had lost all the illusions of girlhood, when all my
woman’s nature began to cry out
Dolly. Yes [Suddenly.] Hark!
[Listens.] Hush!
[Creeps up to door,
listens, opens it, looks out, closes it
again.
Renie. What was it?
Dolly. Hush! Voices!
I thought it might be Lucas and the Professor quarrelling.
Renie. I really don’t think my husband
suspects
Dolly. No, I daresay it’s only my imagination.
Renie. And if he did Dolly,
is there one man living, except my husband, who would
condemn me for being the object of a noble, single-hearted
devotion like Captain Wentworth’s?
Dolly. No, dear, perhaps not.
But, you see, as husbands they take quite a different
view of things from what they do merely as men.
Renie. Tell me candidly, Dolly,
you see nothing wrong in it, do you?
Dolly. Well, dear, when you say wrong
Renie. But I assure you there
isn’t nothing could be further from
my thoughts.
Dolly. No, dear still,
people are so full of prejudice now what
can I do?
Renie. [Clasping DOLLY’S
hand warmly.] Oh, Dolly, you can help me so
much.
Dolly. [A little alarmed.] Can I?
Tell me
Renie. If Lucas and I are parted
[Breaks down.] I can’t bear it!
I can’t bear it!
Dolly. Try, dear! Try!
Renie. [Sobbing.] I
will. And if at any time I long to hear how he
bears our separation, you won’t mind receiving
a letter, and sending it on to me?
Dolly. I’m afraid I couldn’t
do that, dear. You see, I’m so careless,
and if I left the letter about, and Harry found it no,
dear
Renie. You won’t help me?
Dolly. Yes, dear, I’ll
do anything in my power! [Suddenly.] I’ll
tell you what I can do!
Renie. Yes?
Dolly. My father is telling
Lucas he must leave to-night. Well, I can spare
you all the pain and misery of saying “Good-bye,”
and take one last message to him.
Renie. [Curtly.] No,
thank you. It’s most unkind of you to send
him away like this. I must see him alone before
he goes.
Dolly. [Shakes her head.]
My father insists, and suppose Lucas feels that he
owes it to your reputation to go quietly
Renie. Without seeing me?!
Dolly. And suppose the Professor
is really watching you
[RENIE shows
great perplexity. DOLLY is watching her.
Dolly. If you don’t see
Lucas, what message shall I take him?
Renie. Tell him how proud I
am of his noble, unselfish devotion; tell him I shall
always look upon it as the one supreme happiness of
my life to have known him
The PROFESSOR and MATTHEW
enter. The PROFESSOR has diagrams and
illustrations in his hand. Following the PROFESSOR
and MATT are HARRY and LUCAS.
LUCAS, after a little time, comes up to DOLLY
and RENIE, who are seated on sofa.
The PROFESSOR is speaking to MATT
as he enters, and is showing him an illustration.
Prof. [In his hard, metallic
voice.] Observe that woman’s facial angle [pointing]
the peculiar curve of the lip, and the irregular formation
of the nose.
[Describing a little
upward curve on the paper with his thumb.
Matt. I have seen sweeter things
in ladies’ lips and noses.
[Describing the same
little upward curve with his thumb on the
paper.
Prof. Can you be surprised at her history?
Matt. Who was she?
Prof. Jane Sweetman, the notorious
trigamist. Looking at that woman’s cranium
I maintain it was impossible for her to avoid
Matt. Committing trigamy?
Prof. Well, some species of grave moral delinquency.
[DOLLY clutches
RENIE’S wrist significantly. The
PROFESSOR
hands the illustration
to HARRY, who examines it. MATT moves
away a step and unobtrusively
feels his own nose and forehead.
Harry. [Has examined the
illustration.] By Jove, yes anybody
can see she was bound to come a moral cropper, eh?
[He hands the illustration to
DOLLY, who passes it to RENIE, with
a very significant glance, pointing out something on
the paper. LUCAS leans over the back of
the sofa between RENIE and DOLLY
to look at the illustration. As he leans on
the back of the sofa, DOLLY draws herself
up very indignantly, gives him a severe look;
moves a little away from him, sits and looks very severely
in front of her. He cannot understand her
attitude, draws back a little and looks puzzled.
Prof. [Bringing out another
illustration, offering it to MATT.] Now look at
this.
Matt. [Taking illustration.] Somebody’s
brains!
Prof. Tell me if you notice anything peculiar.
[HARRY leans over MATT’S
shoulder, and looks at the illustration.
LUCAS again leans over the sofa, between DOLLY
and RENIE. DOLLY again moves
a little further away from him with another indignant
look. LUCAS is again puzzled, but bends and
looks over the illustration in RENIE’S
hands.
Lucas. So that’s Jane
Sweetman! Well, if Jane was bound to come a moral
cropper, I’m very glad I wasn’t bound to
come a moral cropper with Jane, eh, Dolly? [Very
pleasantly.
Dolly. [Very severely.]
I should scarcely have thought you troubled whom you
came a moral cropper with!
[Looks at him severely, goes up
to writing-desk, seats herself and writes letter.
He feels himself snubbed, and moves a step or two
back, stands and looks puzzled. PROFESSOR
has been critically regarding MATT and
HARRY, who have been looking at the illustration.
Prof. Well, does anything strike you?
Matt. No. [Holding it out.]
Looks rather pulpy rather a squashy
Prof. Exactly! Observe
the soft, almost watery condition of that gray matter.
What is the inevitable consequence?
Matt. I couldn’t quite
say whom did that gray matter belong to?
Prof. Harriet Poy.
Matt. I don’t remember Harriet
Prof. The Pyromaniac.
At the age of four set fire to her mother’s bed.
At twelve was found saturating blankets with petroleum;
at sixteen fired three hayricks, for which she was
sentenced to six months’ imprisonment.
Matt. Poor Harriet! But
of course if her gray matter went and got watery
Prof. Just so! I maintain
that with her gray matter in that condition it was
a stupid crime to send her to prison.
Dolly. [Looking round from
desk.] But what are we to do with people whose
gray matter goes wrong?
Prof. I propose to deal with
that question at Edinburgh. [To MATT.] You
might, perhaps, care to run down to Edinburgh for my
lectures
Matt. I should love it above
all things; but the fact is, I’m so thoroughly
of your opinion
Prof. Are you?! I’m delighted I’ve
convinced you.
Matt. Completely. All
my life I’ve been doing things I should never
have dreamed of doing if my gray matter had done its
duty and not got watery.
Harry. [Begins.] Yes,
when you come to think of all the rotten things you
find yourself doing, you feel, by Jove
[Suddenly recalls
that he has said “by Jove,” and being near
the
collection-box, he quietly
pulls sixpence out of his pocket and
drops it in.
Matt. Bravo, Harry! [Patting him.
Harry. Oh, I mean it! Professor,
isn’t it time for our hundred up?
Prof. [Taking out watch.] In two minutes.
Harry. I’ll go and get
the balls out and chalk the cues. [Going up to
door.] Doll, [taps the writing-desk] you
put it off after tea by-and-by, you know!
Dolly. [She has finished
letter, has risen, and closed writing-desk.] By-and-by.
Harry. Before we go to bed don’t
forget.
Dolly. Oh, I sha’n’t forget.
[Makes a wry face.
Exit HARRY.
Prof. Renie, you were
complaining of headache. It would be wise to
take a short stroll in the cool air.
Renie. Oh, very well.
Prof. Wrap up thoroughly. Ten minutes,
not longer.
[Exit. DOLLY, unseen by
RENIE and LUCAS, slips the note she
has been writing into MATT’S hands.
He takes it down stage, right, and reads it.
RENIE and LUCAS have been talking, apart;
they move towards the door to get out, but
DOLLY is standing in the way of their exit.
Dolly. Oh, Renie!
I’ll put on my things, and come with you.
Renie. But Captain Wentworth has offered
Dolly. I’ve a splitting
headache I must get a little air. And
Dad wants to have a talk with Lucas, don’t you?
Matt. If he can spare five minutes.
Lucas. Won’t by-and-by be just as convenient?
Dolly. [Facing LUCAS,
speaking firmly.] No, by-and-by will not be
just as convenient. Now, Renie, we’ll
leave them together.
[Gets RENIE
off, turns, looks daggers at LUCAS, goes
off
after RENIE,
closes door in his face. He opens it, and goes
after
her.
Lucas. I say, Doll, what’s
up? [Follows her off.] What’s the matter?
Matt. [Reading DOLLY’S
note.] “Be very severe with him.
Make a great point of the dairy windows. He’ll
understand.” Dairy windows?
[Puts the note in
his pocket, as LUCAS re-enters, puzzled and
disappointed.
Lucas. I can’t think
what’s the matter with Dolly. She has done
nothing but snub me all the evening.
Matt. [Looking at him sternly.] So I
should imagine!
Lucas. [Startled by his
manner.] I say, have I done anything?
Matt. Done anything! I’m
a man of the world! nobody can accuse me of being
strait-laced, and therefore I suppose you think you
can come here and set at defiance all the it’s
disgraceful!
Lucas. Would you mind telling
me what you’re hinting at?
Matt. I’m not hinting!
I’m going to speak out very plainly, and I tell
you that I look upon your conduct as something atrocious!
Lucas. I say, Uncle, what’s all this
about?
Matt. What’s it about?
What’s it about? It’s about the dairy
windows!
Lucas. Then it was you phew! so
it was you?
Matt. Well, after the dairy
windows, can you stand there and tell me you aren’t
thoroughly, completely, heartily ashamed of yourself?
Lucas. Well, I suppose I am.
But, after all, it wasn’t so very bad
Matt. Not bad?!
Lucas. Well, not so d ee d
awful.
Matt. [Regards him for a
few moments.] Well, I’m astonished!
If you don’t consider your behaviour d ee d
awful, will you please find me some word that will
describe it?
Lucas. You know you’re
putting a much worse construction on this than the
necessities of the case demand.
Matt. What?!
Lucas. I’ve nothing to
reproach myself with. Mrs. Biggs wasn’t
out of the dairy three minutes, and you were hanging
about the windows all the time.
Matt. I was hanging about the windows?
Lucas. Yes, and I must say
that when you saw two people engaged in an interesting
conversation the least you could do was to pass on
and take no notice.
Matt. “Interesting conversation"?!
Lucas. Well, what did you call
it? If it comes to that, what do you accuse me
of?
Matt. Well, here you are, on
the first day of the year, after listening to a most
eloquent sermon, after making a solemn resolution to
give up all your bad habits
Lucas. Excuse me, I expressly
stated that I didn’t mean to give up all
my bad habits. And I don’t call this a bad
habit.
Matt. You don’t call
making love to a married woman a bad habit?!
Lucas. Of course in one sense
it is a bad habit. But it isn’t a bad habit
in the sense that other bad habits are bad habits.
Look at all the decent chaps who’ve been led
into it!
Matt. That doesn’t excuse
you. And if you think that I’m going to
countenance your conduct, you are very much mistaken
in your estimate of my character.
Lucas. [Very quietly.]
May I ask you one simple question?
Matt. Well?
Lucas. When you were my age,
if you found yourself alone in a dairy with a good-looking
woman, and she was good for a dozen kisses or so,
wouldn’t you have taken advantage of it?
Matt. No!
Lucas. Not at my age?
Matt. No no
Lucas. Well, what would you have done?
Matt. I should have summoned all my resolution
Lucas. Oh, that be hanged!
Come, Uncle, no humbug! Man to man!
Matt. Well, I don’t say
that at your age I might not have been tempted and
of course we must all go through a certain amount of
experience, or how should we be able to advise you
youngsters?
Lucas. I say, no confounded
nonsense your uncle Archie
Matt. Dear old chap!
Lucas. What use did you make of his advice?
Matt. Well, I remember his
talking to me very seriously I suppose I
was about your age did I ever tell you,
Lucas, [taking LUCAS’S arm affectionately]
about a very remarkable auburn-haired girl, Madge
Seaforth?
Lucas. No.
Matt. And my racing her across
Salisbury Plain at night?
Lucas. No.
Matt. Forty-eight miles one
glorious May night! I let her beat me! God
bless her! I let her beat me! And just as
the sun rose we caught sight of Salisbury spire.
Lucas. Sounds rather jolly!
Matt. Jolly? And the bacon
and eggs we got through for breakfast! Jolly?
It was romance! It was poetry! Ah! Lu,
my boy, you may say what you like, there’s nothing
like it on this side heaven. I told you about
Mrs. Satterwaite dressing up as a widow and selling
her husband?
Lucas. No?
Matt. Well, I bet the little
hussy a fiver. Oh, Satterwaite richly deserved
all he got I can see Satterwaite’s
face now, and hers, as she stepped out of the cupboard,
with the wickedest twinkle in the wickedest black
eye! Ho! Ho! Heigho! Sad!
Sad!! Sad!!! Sad! Sad!! Sad!!!
Come, come, Lucas! This won’t do!
This will never do! Now to get back to this business
of yours
Lucas. Well
Matt. When I was your guardian
I let you have a pretty good fling?
Lucas. You did!
Matt. The pace was rather scorching?
Lucas. Rather!
Matt. I never pulled you up?
Lucas. No, and I’m grateful.
[Shaking hands very
cordially.
Matt. That’s all right.
Now, old chap, you’ve got to pull up!
Lucas. Pull up?
Matt. Short. This Mrs.
Sturgess Dolly says there’s a lot
of nonsense going on, gushing letters and so on, damned
silly thing writing letters, Lu
Lucas. Yes, I know.
Matt. Well, what do you do it for?
Lucas. I don’t know.
Matt. You’re seeing her
every day. If you must carry on this tomfoolery,
why not do it by word of mouth? Why write it down,
to show what an ass you’ve been?
Lucas. I’m sure I don’t know.
Matt. Do you know why you’re
carrying on with her at all?
Lucas. Well, naturally a chap naturally
Matt. You’re either in love with her,
or you aren’t?
Lucas. I can’t say I’m exactly
in love with her
Matt. Then why are you making love to her?
Lucas. Well, she’s a
jolly good-looking woman, and naturally a chap naturally I
don’t know that I ain’t a bit in love with
her.
Matt. Well, it doesn’t
much matter. If you aren’t in love with
her you’re a fool to risk a scandal. If
you are in love you’ll most likely do some silly
jackass thing that will knock your career on the head,
eh?
Lucas. Well, when you look at it that way
Matt. Look at it that way!
Anyhow, she’s a married woman, and you’re
here as a guest it isn’t the right
thing to do, is it?
Lucas. No, it isn’t.
Matt. Very well, then, don’t
do it. Don’t do it! Cut it! You
will?
Lucas. I’ve got to, I suppose.
Matt. Yes, you’ve got
to. You can tell Doll I gave it to you hot and
strong, and you’re going to clear out, and not
see Mrs. Sturgess again
Lucas. Not see her again?
Matt. Isn’t that what you mean to do?
Lucas. Yes, I suppose.
I say, what did you see at the dairy windows?
Matt. I didn’t see anything at all!
Lucas. Nothing at all?
Matt. I wasn’t there!
Lucas. Then how ?
Matt. Dolly put me up to it. [Laughs
at him.
Lucas. Dolly?
DOLLY enters with
a cloak which she throws on sofa.
Matt. Ah, Doll
Dolly. [Looking severely
at LUCAS.] Have you spoken to him?
Matt. Yes, very seriously,
extra seriously, and he’s going to do the right
thing and clear out, aren’t you, Lucas?
Lucas. [A little unwillingly.] Yes.
Matt. [Clapping him on the
shoulder.] Good chap! Good chap!
Dolly. [Still a little severe.]
I’m pleased to hear it. [To LUCAS.] You’ve
behaved in a most scandalous
Matt. He has. I’ve
told him all that. [Winks at DOLLY to keep
her quiet.] And he sees it quite plainly, don’t
you?
[Winks at LUCAS
to prompt him.
Dolly. Then it’s quite broken off?
Matt. Quite! Isn’t it, Lu?
Lucas. Yes, I suppose. I should like to
say
Dolly. Yes?
Lucas. That nothing has taken
place which, if rightly looked at, could reflect discredit
either upon the lady, or, I hope, upon myself.
And secondly, whatever fault there may have been,
is entirely mine.
Matt. That’s satisfactory!
It always ought to be the man’s fault.
Heaven forbid it should ever be theirs. Good chap!
Good chap! [Patting him.] Dolly, he’s
behaving splendidly. Now, Lu, good-night.
[DOLLY rings bell.
Lucas. [Surprised.] Good-night?!
Dolly. Good-night, and good-bye!
[Holding out her hand.
Lucas. You aren’t going to turn me out
to-night!
Dolly. You said it was quite broken off.
Lucas. Yes, but
[turns to MATT with appealing gesture.]
Uncle, you didn’t mean to pack me off like this
Matt. Yes, my boy! Remember
the occasion. First day of the New Year.
Take time by the forelock. Off you go!
[Taking him by the
shoulder and trying to get him off.
Lucas. [Resisting.]
Oh no! I don’t see it in that light at all.
[Sinks comfortably
into arm-chair.
CRIDDLE appears at
door.
Dolly. Criddle, please have
Captain Wentworth’s portmanteau taken to the
billiard-room.
Criddle. Yes, ma’am.
Dolly. He wishes to change
there, and please send to the Red Lion and ask them
to have Captain Wentworth’s horse saddled.
Criddle. Yes, ma’am. [Going.
Lucas. Criddle, what’s the weather like?
Criddle. It’s a bit colder,
sir. Looks as if we were going to have another
heavy fall of snow.
Lucas. I don’t think
I’ll go to-night, Criddle. If I want the
gee saddled, I’ll go and tell them myself.
Criddle. Yes, sir. [Exit.
Lucas. [In arm-chair.]
I say, Dolly, you don’t really expect me to
go careering over that heath at this ungodly hour?
Dolly. You can’t stay
here. Renie is very much upset; she has had
hysterics. So I’ve put her in the spare
room.
Lucas. Well, you can give me
a shake-down somewhere in the billiard-room.
Dolly. [Shakes her head.]
I can’t ask the servants to make up impossible
beds in impossible places at this ungodly hour.
Lucas. I call this beastly unfair of you, Doll.
Dolly. Unfair?
Lucas. Just as I’d summoned
up all my resolution to do the right thing, and avoid
ructions for your sake, you pounce down on me, and
order me off the premises, and
Dolly. [Getting angry.]
If you don’t behave yourself and go off quietly,
I shall have to order you off the premises.
[Makes an appeal
by gesture to MATT to get him off.
Matt. Now, my hero! [Lifting
him out of the arm-chair.] Buckle on your armor!
Sally forth! Once more unto the breach!
[With some difficulty
he raises LUCAS out of the chair.
Lucas. Well, I’ll go
and have a look at the weather. [Goes sulkily up
to door.] Mind you, if you turn me out I won’t
be responsible if there’s a flare up
Dolly. Very well, so long as
we don’t have a flare-up here. Oh!
[Rings the bell again.
Lucas. [Goes off, sulky,
muttering.] Of all the turning me out beastly
infernal nuisance!
[Exit grumbling,
leaving door open.
Dolly. It would serve them
both right if there was to be a flare-up only
I’m sure she’d drag me into it somehow.
[CRIDDLE appears at door.] Please send and
ask them at the Red Lion to saddle Captain Wentworth’s
horse and send it here at once.
Criddle. Yes, ma’am. [Exit.
Dolly. Lucas is going to behave
as badly over this as he did over the governess.
Dad !
Matt. Well?
Dolly. Of course, Lucas is
in the army, but surely he he isn’t
a fair sample?
Matt. Oh no, oh no! Lucas
is very exceptional quite exceptional.
Dolly. I thought so! They can’t
all be
Matt. Oh no! I’m glad to say
Dolly. I’m determined he shall go to-night.
LUCAS re-enters.
Lucas. I say, Dolly, I wish
you’d come and look at the weather.
Dolly. What for?
Lucas. There’s a great
black cloud it’s going to come down!
Dolly. [Enraged.] I
don’t care if the heavens come down! You’re
going back to Aldershot to-night.
Lucas. But I tell you
[Appeals to MATT.] It’s simply impossible
for me to ride across that heath
Matt. But you rode across it
last night in a howling snowstorm
Lucas. Yes, I did! Last
night! And never again, thank you! No!
I don’t mind shaking down anywhere to oblige
[He is about to drop
again into the arm-chair, but MATT gently
pushes him aside and
drops into the chair himself.
Lucas. [Going to sofa.] Anywhere to
oblige!
[Drops comfortably
on to sofa.
Dolly. [Comes up to him
finally.] Lucas, this is abominable! I suppose
you think because we treated you so leniently over
that wretched governess
Lucas. Well, I thought you
were pretty deuced hard down on us
Dolly. What?! Oh! [Appeals to
MATT.
Lucas. I didn’t mind
your slanging me, but you might have had a little
consideration for her feelings, because, after all,
she was one of your own sex!
Dolly. My own sex! The minx!
Lucas. And an orphan!
Dolly. Orphan! [To MATT.]
Go and speak to him! Go and speak to him!
[MATT rises and goes
to LUCAS. DOLLY sits down in despair.
Matt. Come, Lu. You’re
not playing the game! You promised to take yourself
off.
Lucas. [Comfortably seated.]
Well, I will take myself off, only let me take myself
off in my own way.
Dolly. It’s useless your
staying! Renie won’t see you again.
Lucas. Won’t she?
Dolly. No. She gave me a last message
for you
Lucas. Did she? Why didn’t you give
it to me?
Dolly. If I tell you, will you take yourself
off?
Lucas. Yes, of course. What was her last
message?
Dolly. She said “She
should always value your noble devotion, and be proud
that she had known you; but you must see how hopeless
it was, and that she trusted you would go away at
once and leave her to respect you, as you had always
respected her!”
Matt. A very pretty, touching
little adieu! Does her great credit. Now,
Lu! Cut it! Come, my boy!
[Lifts him up off
sofa. LUCAS gets up very reluctantly.
Lucas. Well, if I must go good-night!
Matt. Good-night. [Shaking
hands.] I may see you to-morrow afternoon.
Lucas. Where?
Matt. I’m driving over
to Aldershot to see Sir John. I shall look you
up
Lucas. I may not be there in the afternoon
Dolly. Lucas, you’re coming over here
Lucas. No no; I’m not.
You shouldn’t suspect me.
Dolly. It won’t be the least use your
coming
Lucas. I know that. Well, good-bye, Doll
Dolly. Good-bye. [Shaking hands.
Lucas. [Is going up to door
slowly and reluctantly, turns.] I suppose if I
were to give you my solemn promise I wouldn’t
see her, I couldn’t shake down on that sofa.
Dolly. [Sternly and decisively.] No!
Lucas. [Goes a few more
steps towards door, turns.] I suppose I couldn’t
see Mrs. Sturgess? [DOLLY looks indignant.]
Only to say good-bye.
Dolly. No! She was nearly
undressed when I left her. She’s asleep
by now!
Enter RENIE
fully dressed, looking very interesting and tearful.
Throughout the scene
she preserves the air of a martyr.
Dolly. [Indignantly.]
Renie, you promised me you wouldn’t come
downstairs again!
Renie. Yes, dear, but I felt
I couldn’t rest under your father’s unjust
suspicion. [Goes up to MATT, seizes his hand
sympathetically.] Dolly tells me you have been
watching the friendship that all unconsciously has
sprung up between Captain Wentworth and myself
Matt. [Uncomfortable.] Not exactly watching
Renie. I feel you may have
seen, or guessed something, that has given you a wrong
impression.
Matt. No, no! I assure you
Renie. If you have, I beg you
to speak out and give us a chance of defending ourselves.
Tell us exactly what you have seen, and what you suspect
Matt. My dear Mrs. Sturgess,
I haven’t seen anything, and I don’t suspect
anything.
Renie. You really mean that?
Matt. Yes yes
Renie. [Clasping his hand
eagerly.] Thank you so much. Friendship between
a man and a woman is so misunderstood.
Matt. It is.
Dolly. Yes, Lucas had a friendship
with a governess here which we all misunderstood till
afterwards.
Lucas. I say, Dolly, don’t you
Renie. Now that there is no
chance of your misjudging our friendship, I don’t
mind saying [Shows signs of
breaking down.] You won’t misunderstand
me? [Clinging to his hand.
Matt. No, no!
Renie. My life has not been altogether a happy
one.
Matt. I’m sure it hasn’t!
Renie. Under other circumstances let
that pass! [Wrings MATT’S hands.]
Thank you, thank you! [Goes to LUCAS.] Captain
Wentworth, I shall always be proud to have known you.
Dolly. I’ve told him all that!
[MATT hushes
DOLLY with a gesture.
Renie. I shall always cherish
the memory of our friendship, but it might be misunderstood,
and so [breaking down, but bearing up with an effort],
you will behave like the gallant gentleman I know you
to be, and say good-bye to me for ever!
Matt. Nobly spoken! Very nobly spoken
indeed!
Lucas. Well, if you insist
Renie. I do! Good-bye for ever!
Lucas. Good-bye. [They have a long
hand-shake.
Renie. Good-bye.
[Tears herself away
from him and tragically throws herself on
sofa. LUCAS follows
her up.
Lucas. I say, Mrs. Sturgess
Renie. [Face buried in hands,
moans out.] Go, go! In pity’s name
don’t make it harder for me!
Matt. In pity’s name don’t make
it harder for her.
Dolly. [Looking off at door.]
They’ll be coming out of the billiard-room directly.
Matt. Now, Lucas
CRIDDLE appears at
door.
Criddle. Your horse is waiting for you, sir.
Lucas. My horse?!
Criddle. Yes, sir, just outside.
Lucas. What on earth do they
mean? A valuable horse like that just
clipped standing about on a night like this who
told them?
Dolly. I did. The horse
is waiting to take you back to Aldershot.
Lucas. I can’t go back
to Aldershot in this kit. [Pointing to his dress-clothes.]
Tell them to take it back to the Red Lion!
Dolly. And Criddle, give the
man Captain Wentworth’s portmanteau to take
to the Red Lion at the same time.
Criddle. Yes, ma’am. [Exit.
Lucas. [Grumbling.]
Well, of all Good-bye, Mrs. Sturgess.
Dolly. You’ve said good-bye
Renie. [Still tragic on sofa.] Farewell for
ever!
Lucas. Good-night, Dolly!
Dolly. Farewell for
a good long time. [Shaking hands.
Lucas. Good-night, Uncle.
Matt. Good-night, Lucas. [Shaking hands.
Lucas. [Turns at door.]
Happen to have your cigar-case handy?
[MATT takes out cigar-case,
offers it.
Lucas. Could you spare two?
Matt. Certainly!
Lucas. I’ve got a jolly
long ride, I’ll take three if you don’t
mind.
Matt. Do!
Lucas. Thank’ee. Well, good-night,
everybody.
[MATT gets LUCAS
off, closes door after him.
Renie. [Rouses herself from
sofa.] Has he gone? Is it all over?
Dolly. I hope so. [Goes and rings bell
twice.
Renie. [Goes to MATT
impulsively and seizes his hand.]
At least this bitter experience has gained me one
true friend.
Matt. [Embarrassed.] Yes
Renie. [Wrings his hand
in gratitude.] Thank you so much
[He gets away from
her and shows relief; takes out cigar and
prepares to light it.
Renie. [Standing in the
middle of the room, pitying herself.] That’s
where we get the worst of it, we women who have hearts!
We must feel, we must show our feelings, and then
we get trampled down in the fight. Oh, Dolly,
how I envy you your nature!
Dolly. [Very chilly.]
Are you going into the spare room, dear?
Renie. Anywhere! Anywhere! Yes, the
spare room!
PETERS, DOLLY’S
maid, appears at door.
Dolly. Peters, will you bank
up the fire in the spare room and make everything
comfortable for Mrs. Sturgess?
Peters. Yes, ma’am. [Exit.
Renie. [Still in the middle
of the room, pitying herself.] So my poor little
tragedy is ended! [To MATT.
Matt. Yes. Well, let’s be thankful
no bones are broken!
Renie. No bones, but how about
hearts? Well, I must bear it. [With a weary
smile.] Mustn’t I?
Matt. I’m afraid you must.
Renie. Good-night! [Wrings
his hand with gratitude.] Good-night!
Matt. Good-night.
[Gets away from her,
and busies himself with his cigar, lights
it.
Renie. Good-night, Dolly!
Dolly. I’ll come up with
you, and stay till you’re quite comfortable.
Renie. Shall I ever be comfortable
again? Will things ever be the same? I wonder!
[Goes off mournfully
and tragically at back with a prolonged
sigh. MATT has
seated himself on sofa and taken up paper.
Dolly. [Calls his attention
to RENIE’S exit and makes a furious gesture
after her.] I know she’ll be here next Christmas!
[Marches down enraged to MATT and repeats
in an angry, aggrieved way, emphasizing each word.]
I know that woman will be here next Christmas!
Matt. [Seated comfortably
with his cigar and paper] I daresay she will
[DOLLY marches indignantly
and decisively to door and exit.
CURTAIN.
(Half an hour passes between Acts II and III.)