The Statehouse appeared to cover about
a square mile of ground and it was an insane jumble
of buildings piled beside and on top of one another,
as though it had been in continuous construction ever
since the planet was colonized, eighty-odd years before.
At what looked like one of the main
entrances, the car stopped. I told our Marine
driver and auto-rifleman to park the car and take in
the barbecue, but to leave word with the doorman where
they could be found. Hoddy, Thrombley and I then
went in, to be met by a couple of New Texas Rangers,
one of them the officer who had called at the Embassy.
They guided us to the office of the Secretary of State.
“We’re dreadfully late,”
Thrombley was fretting. “I do hope we haven’t
kept the Secretary waiting too long.”
From the looks of him, I was afraid
we had. He jumped up from his desk and hurried
across the room as soon as the receptionist opened
the door for us, his hand extended.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Thrombley,”
he burbled nervously. “And this is the
new Ambassador, I suppose. And this ”
He caught sight of Hoddy Ringo, bringing up the rear
and stopped short, hand flying to open mouth.
“Oh, dear me!”
So far, I had been building myself
a New Texas stereotype from Hoddy Ringo and the Ranger
officer who had chased us to the Embassy. But
this frightened little rabbit of a fellow simply didn’t
fit it. An alien would be justified in assigning
him to an entirely different species.
Thrombley introduced me. I introduced
Hoddy as my confidential secretary and advisor.
We all shook hands, and Thrombley dug my credentials
out of his briefcase and handed them to me, and I
handed them to the Secretary of State, Mr. William
A. Palme. He barely glanced at them, then shook
my hand again fervently and mumbled something about
“inexpressible pleasure” and “entirely
acceptable to my government.”
That made me the accredited and accepted
Ambassador to New Texas.
Mr. Palme hoped, or said he hoped,
that my stay in New Texas would be long and pleasant.
He seemed rather less than convinced that it would
be. His eyes kept returning in horrified fascination
to my belt. Each time they would focus on the
butts of my Krupp-Tattas, he would pull them resolutely
away again.
“And now, we must take you to
President Hutchinson; he is most anxious to meet you,
Mr. Silk. If you will please come with me ...”
Four or five Rangers who had been
loitering the hall outside moved to follow us as we
went toward the elevator. Although we had come
into the building onto a floor only a few feet above
street-level, we went down three floors from the hallway
outside the Secretary of State’s office, into
a huge room, the concrete floor of which was oil-stained,
as though vehicles were continually being driven in
and out. It was about a hundred feet wide, and
two or three hundred in length. Daylight was
visible through open doors at the end. As we approached
them, the Rangers fanning out on either side and in
front of us, I could hear a perfect bedlam of noise
outside shouting, singing, dance-band music,
interspersed with the banging of shots.
When we reached the doors at the end,
we emerged into one end of a big rectangular plaza,
at least five hundred yards in length. Most of
the uproar was centered at the opposite end, where
several thousand people, in costumes colored through
the whole spectrum, were milling about. There
seemed to be at least two square-dances going on, to
the music of competing bands. At the distant
end of the plaza, over the heads of the crowd, I could
see the piles and tracks of an overhead crane, towering
above what looked like an open-hearth furnace.
Between us and the bulk of the crowd, in a cleared
space, two medium tanks, heavily padded with mats,
were ramming and trying to overturn each other, the
mob of spectators crowding as close to them as they
dared. The din was positively deafening, though
we were at least two hundred yards from the center
of the crowd.
“Oh, dear, I always dread these
things!” Palme was saying.
“Yes, absolutely anything could
happen,” Thrombley twittered.
“Man, this is a real barbecue!”
Hoddy gloated. “Now I really feel at home!”
“Over this way, Mr. Silk,”
Palme said, guiding me toward the short end of the
plaza, on our left. “We will see the President
and then ...”
He gulped.
“... then we will all go to the barbecue.”
In the center of the short end of
the plaza, dwarfed by the monster bulks of steel and
concrete and glass around it, stood a little old building
of warm-tinted adobe. I had never seen it before,
but somehow it was familiar-looking. And then
I remembered. Although I had never seen it before,
I had seen it pictured many times; pictured under
attack, with gunsmoke spouting from windows and parapets.
I plucked Thrombley’s sleeve.
“Isn’t that a replica of the Alamo?”
He was shocked. “Oh, dear,
Mr. Ambassador, don’t let anybody hear you ask
that. That’s no replica. It is
the Alamo. The Alamo.”
I stood there a moment, looking at
it. I was remembering, and finally understanding,
what my psycho-history lessons about the “Romantic
Freeze” had meant.
They had taken this little mission-fort
down, brick by adobe brick, loaded it carefully into
a spaceship, brought it here, forty two light-years
away from Terra, and reverently set it up again.
Then they had built a whole world and a whole social
philosophy around it.
It had been the dissatisfied, of course,
the discontented, the dreamers, who had led the vanguard
of man’s explosion into space following the
discovery of the hyperspace-drive. They had gone
from Terra cherishing dreams of things that had been
dumped into the dust bin of history, carrying with
them pictures of ways of life that had passed away,
or that had never really been. Then, in their
new life, on new planets, they had set to work making
those dreams and those pictures live.
And, many times, they had come close to succeeding.
These Texans, now: they had left
behind the cold fact that it had been their state’s
great industrial complex that had made their migration
possible. They ignored the fact that their life
here on Capella IV was possible only by application
of modern industrial technology. That rodeo down
the plaza tank-tilting instead of bronco-busting.
Here they were, living frozen in a romantic dream,
a world of roving cowboys and ranch kingdoms.
No wonder Hoddy hadn’t liked
the books I had been reading on the ship. They
shook the fabric of that dream.
There were people moving about, at
this relatively quiet end of the plaza, mostly in
the direction of the barbecue. Ten or twelve Rangers
loitered at the front of the Alamo, and with them I
saw the dress blues of my two Marines. There
was a little three-wheeled motorcart among them, from
which they were helping themselves to food and drink.
When they saw us coming, the two Marines shoved their
sandwiches into the hands of a couple of Rangers and
tried to come to attention.
“At ease, at ease,” I
told them. “Have a good time, boys.
Hoddy, you better get in on some of this grub; I may
be inside for quite a while.”
As soon as the Rangers saw Hoddy,
they hastily got things out of their right hands.
Hoddy grinned at them.
“Take it easy, boys,”
he said. “I’m protected by the game
laws. I’m a diplomat, I am.”
There were a couple of Rangers lounging
outside the door of the President’s office and
both of them carried autorifles, implying things I
didn’t like.
I had seen the President of the Solar
League wandering around the dome-city of Artemis unattended,
looking for all the world like a professor in his
academic halls. Since then, maybe before then,
I had always had a healthy suspicion of governments
whose chiefs had to surround themselves with bodyguards.
But the President of New Texas, John
Hutchinson, was alone in his office when we were shown
in. He got up and came around his desk to greet
us, a slender, stoop-shouldered man in a black-and-gold
laced jacket. He had a narrow compressed mouth
and eyes that seemed to be watching every corner of
the room at once. He wore a pair of small pistols
in cross-body holsters under his coat, and he always
kept one hand or the other close to his abdomen.
He was like, and yet unlike, the Secretary
of State. Both had the look of hunted animals;
but where Palme was a rabbit, twitching to take flight
at the first whiff of danger, Hutchinson was a cat
who hears hounds baying ready to run if
he could, or claw if he must.
“Good day, Mr. Silk,”
he said, shaking hands with me after the introductions.
“I see you’re heeled; you’re smart.
You wouldn’t be here today if poor Silas Cumshaw’d
been as smart as you are. Great man, though;
a wise and farseeing statesman. He and I were
real friends.”
“You know who Mr. Silk brought
with him as bodyguard?” Palme asked. “Hoddy
Ringo!”
“Oh, my God! I thought
this planet was rid of him!” The President turned
to me. “You got a good trigger-man, though,
Mr. Ambassador. Good man to watch your back for
you. But lot of folks here won’t thank you
for bringing him back to New Texas.”
He looked at his watch. “We
have time for a little drink, before we go outside,
Mr. Silk,” he said. “Care to join
me?”
I assented and he got a bottle of
superbourbon out of his desk, with four glasses.
Palme got some water tumblers and brought the pitcher
of ice-water from the cooler.
I noticed that the New Texas Secretary
of State filled his three-ounce liquor glass to the
top and gulped it down at once. He might act as
though he were descended from a long line of maiden
aunts, but he took his liquor in blasts that would
have floored a spaceport labor-boss.
We had another drink, a little slower,
and chatted for a while, and then Hutchinson said,
regretfully that we’d have to go outside and
meet the folks. Outside, our guards Hoddy,
the two Marines, the Rangers who had escorted us from
Palme’s office, and Hutchinson’s retinue surrounded
us, and we made our way down the plaza, through the
crowd. The din ear-piercing yells,
whistles, cowbells, pistol shots, the cacophony of
the two dance-bands, and the chorus-singing, of which
I caught only the words: The skies of freedom
are above you! was as bad as New Year’s
Eve in Manhattan or Nairobi or New Moscow, on Terra.
“Don’t take all this as
a personal tribute, Mr. Silk!” Hutchinson screamed
into my ear. “On this planet, to paraphrase
Nietzsche, a good barbecue halloweth any cause!”
That surprised me, at the moment.
Later I found out that John Hutchinson was one of
the leading scholars on New Texas and had once been
president of one of their universities. New Texas
Christian, I believe.
As we got up onto the platform, close
enough to the barbecue pits to feel the heat from
them, somebody let off what sounded like a fifty-mm
anti-tank gun five or six times. Hutchinson grabbed
a microphone and bellowed into it: “Ladies
and gentlemen! Your attention, please!”
The noise began to diminish, slowly,
until I could hear one voice, in the crowd below:
“Shut up, you damn fools!
We can’t eat till this is over!”
Hutchinson introduced me, in very
few words. I gathered that lengthy speeches at
barbecues were not popular on New Texas.
“Ladies and gentlemen!”
I yelled into the microphone. “Appreciative
as I am of this honor, there is one here who is more
deserving of your notice than I; one to whom I, also,
pay homage. He’s over there on the fire,
and I want a slice of him as soon as possible!”
That got a big ovation. There
was, beside the water pitcher, a bottle of superbourbon.
I ostentatiously threw the water out of the glass,
poured a big shot of the corrosive stuff, and downed
it.
“For God’s sake, let’s
eat!” I finished. Then I turned to Thrombley,
who was looking like a priest who has just seen the
bishop spit in the holy-water font. “Stick
close to me,” I whispered. “Cue me
in on the local notables, and the other members of
the Diplomatic Corps.” Then we all got
down off the platform, and a band climbed up and began
playing one of those raucous “cowboy ballads”
which had originated in Manhattan about the middle
of the Twentieth Century.
“The sandwiches’ll be
here in a moment, Mr. Ambassador,” Hutchinson
screamed in effect, whispered in
my ear. “Don’t feel any reluctance
about shaking hands with a sandwich in your other hand;
that’s standard practice, here. You struck
just the right note, up there. That business
with the liquor was positively inspired!”
The sandwiches huge masses
of meat and hot relish, wrapped in tortillas
of some sort arrived and I bit into one.
I’d been eating supercow all
my life, frozen or electron-beamed for transportation,
and now I was discovering that I had never really eaten
supercow before. I finished the first sandwich
in surprisingly short order and was starting on my
second when the crowd began coming.
First, the Diplomatic Corps, the usual
collection of weirdies, human and otherwise....
There was the Ambassador from Tara,
in a suit of what his planet produced as a substitute
for Irish homespuns. His Embassy, if it was
like the others I had seen elsewhere, would be an outsize
cottage with whitewashed walls and a thatched roof,
with a bowl of milk outside the door for the Little
People ...
The Ambassador from Alpheratz II,
the South African Nationalist planet, with a full
beard, and old fashioned plug hat and tail-coat.
They were a frustrated lot. They had gone into
space to practice apartheid and had settled
on a planet where there was no other intelligent race
to be superior to....
The Mormon Ambassador from Deseret Delta
Camelopardalis V....
The Ambassador from Spica VII, a short
jolly-looking little fellow, with a head like a seal’s,
long arms, short legs and a tail like a kangaroo’s....
The Ambassador from Beta Cephus VI,
who could have passed for human if he hadn’t
had blood with a copper base instead of iron.
His skin was a dark green and his hair was a bright
blue....
I was beginning to correct my first
impression that Thrombley was a complete dithering
fool. He stood at my left elbow, whispering the
names and governments and home planets of the Ambassadors
as they came up, handing me little slips of paper
on which he had written phonetically correct renditions
of the greetings I would give them in their own language.
I was still twittering a reply to the greeting of
Nanadabadian, from Beta Cephus VI, when he whispered
to me:
“Here it comes, sir. The z’Srauff!”
The z’Srauff were reasonably
close to human stature and appearance, allowing for
the fact that their ancestry had been canine instead
of simian. They had, of course, longer and narrower
jaws than we have, and definitely carnivorous teeth.
There were stories floating around
that they enjoyed barbecued Terran even better than
they did supercow and hot relish.
This one advanced, extending his three-fingered hand.
“I am most happy to make connection
with Solar League representative,” he said.
“I am named Gglafrr Ddespttann Vuvuvu.”
No wonder Thrombley let him introduce
himself. I answered in the Basic English that
was all he’d admit to understanding:
“The name of your great nation
has gone before you to me. The stories we tell
to our young of you are at the top of our books.
I have hope to make great pleasure in you and me to
be friends.”
Gglafrr Vuvuvu’s smile wavered
a little at the oblique reference to the couple of
trouncings our Space Navy had administered to z’Srauff
ships in the past. “We will be in the same
place again times with no number,” the alien
replied. “I have hope for you that time
you are in this place will be long and will put pleasure
in your heart.”
Then the pressure of the line behind
him pushed him on. Cabinet Members; Senators
and Representatives; prominent citizens, mostly Judge
so-and-so, or Colonel this-or-that. It was all
a blur, so much so that it was an instant before I
recognized the gleaming golden hair and the statuesque
figure.
“Thank you! I have met
the Ambassador.” The lovely voice was shaking
with restrained anger.
“Gail!” I exclaimed.
“Your father coming to the barbecue,
Gail?” President Hutchinson was asking.
“He ought to be here any minute.
He sent me on ahead from the hotel. He wants
to meet the Ambassador. That’s why I joined
the line.”
“Well, suppose I leave Mr. Silk
in your hands for a while,” Hutchinson said.
“I ought to circulate around a little.”
“Yes. Just leave him in my hands!”
she said vindictively.
“What’s wrong, Gail?”
I wanted to know. “I know, I was supposed
to meet you at the spaceport, but ”
“You made a beautiful fool of me at the spaceport!”
“Look, I can explain everything.
My Embassy staff insisted on hurrying me off ”
Somebody gave a high-pitched whoop
directly behind me and emptied the clip of a pistol.
I couldn’t even hear what else I said. I
couldn’t hear what she said, either, but it
was something angry.
“You have to listen to me!”
I roared in her ear. “I can explain everything!”
“Any diplomat can explain anything!” she
shouted back.
“Look, Gail, you’re hanging
an innocent man!” I yelled back at her.
“I’m entitled to a fair trial!”
Somebody on the platform began firing
his pistol within inches of the loud-speakers and
it sounded like an H-bomb going off. She grabbed
my wrist and dragged me toward a door under the platform.
“Down here!” she yelled.
“And this better be good, Mr. Silk!”
We went down a spiral ramp, lighted
by widely-scattered overhead lights.
“Space-attack shelter,”
she explained. “And look: what goes
on in space-ships is one thing, but it’s as
much as a girl’s reputation is worth to come
down here during a barbecue.”
There seemed to be quite few girls
at that barbecue who didn’t care what happened
to their reputations. We discovered that after
looking into a couple of passageways that branched
off the entrance.
“Over this way,” Gail
said, “Confederate Courts Building. There
won’t be anything going on over here, now.”
I told her, with as much humorous
detail as possible, about how Thrombley had shanghaied
me to the Embassy, and about the chase by the Rangers.
Before I was half through, she was laughing heartily,
all traces of her anger gone. Finally, we came
to a stairway, and at the head of it to a small door.
“It’s been four years
that I’ve been away from here,” she said.
“I think there’s a reading room of the
Law Library up here. Let’s go in and enjoy
the quiet for a while.”
But when we opened the door, there
was a Ranger standing inside.
“Come to see a trial, Mr. Silk?
Oh, hello, Gail. Just in time; they’re
going to prepare for the next trial.”
As he spoke, something clicked at
the door. Gail looked at me in consternation.
“Now we’re locked in,”
she said. “We can’t get out till the
trial’s over.”