Wednesday, June 26, 1754.-On
this day the most melancholy sun I had ever beheld
arose, and found me awake at my house at Fordhook.
By the light of this sun I was, in my own opinion,
last to behold and take leave of some of those creatures
on whom I doted with a mother-like fondness, guided
by nature and passion, and uncured and unhardened by
all the doctrine of that philosophical school where
I had learned to bear pains and to despise death.
In this situation, as I could not conquer Nature,
I submitted entirely to her, and she made as great
a fool of me as she had ever done of any woman whatsoever;
under pretense of giving me leave to enjoy, she drew
me in to suffer, the company of my little ones during
eight hours; and I doubt not whether, in that time,
I did not undergo more than in all my distemper.
At twelve precisely my coach was at
the door, which was no sooner told me than I kissed
my children round, and went into it with some little
resolution. My wife, who behaved more like a heroine
and philosopher, though at the same time the tenderest
mother in the world, and my eldest daughter, followed
me; some friends went with us, and others here took
their leave; and I heard my behavior applauded, with
many murmurs and praises to which I well knew I had
no title; as all other such philosophers may, if they
have any modesty, confess on the like occasions.
In two hours we arrived in Rotherhithe,
and immediately went on board, and were to have sailed
the next morning; but, as this was the king’s
proclamation-day, and consequently a holiday at the
custom-house, the captain could not clear his vessel
till the Thursday; for these holidays are as strictly
observed as those in the popish calendar, and are almost
as numerous. I might add that both are opposite
to the genius of trade, and consequently contra
bonum publicum.
To go on board the ship it was necessary
first to go into a boat; a matter of no small difficulty,
as I had no use of my limbs, and was to be carried
by men who, though sufficiently strong for their burden,
were, like Archimedes, puzzled to find a steady footing.
Of this, as few of my readers have not gone into wherries
on the Thames, they will easily be able to form to
themselves an idea. However, by the assistance
of my friend, Mr. Welch, whom I never think or speak
of but with love and esteem, I conquered this difficulty,
as I did afterwards that of ascending the ship, into
which I was hoisted with more ease by a chair lifted
with pulleys. I was soon seated in a great chair
in the cabin, to refresh myself after a fatigue which
had been more intolerable, in a quarter of a mile’s
passage from my coach to the ship, than I had before
undergone in a land-journey of twelve miles, which
I had traveled with the utmost expedition.
This latter fatigue was, perhaps,
somewhat heightened by an indignation which I could
not prevent arising in my mind. I think, upon
my entrance into the boat, I presented a spectacle
of the highest horror. The total loss of limbs
was apparent to all who saw me, and my face contained
marks of a most diseased state, if not of death itself.
Indeed, so ghastly was my countenance, that timorous
women with child had abstained from my house, for
fear of the ill consequences of looking at me.
In this condition I ran the gauntlope (so I think
I may justly call it) through rows of sailors and
watermen, few of whom failed of paying their compliments
to me by all manner of insults and jests on my misery.
No man who knew me will think I conceived any personal
resentment at this behavior; but it was a lively picture
of that cruelty and inhumanity in the nature of men
which I have often contemplated with concern, and
which leads the mind into a train of very uncomfortable
and melancholy thoughts. It may be said that
this barbarous custom is peculiar to the English,
and of them only to the lowest degree; that it is an
excrescence of an uncontrolled licentiousness mistaken
for liberty, and never shows itself in men who are
polished and refined in such manner as human nature
requires to produce that perfection of which it is
susceptible, and to purge away that malevolence of
disposition of which, at our birth, we partake in
common with the savage creation. This may be
said, and this is all that can be said; and it is,
I am afraid, but little satisfactory to account for
the inhumanity of those who, while they boast of being
made after God’s own image, seem to bear in their
minds a resemblance of the vilest species of brutes;
or rather, indeed, of our idea of devils; for I don’t
know that any brutes can be taxed with such malevolence.
A sirloin of beef was now placed on the table, for
which, though little better than carrion, as much was
charged by the master of the little paltry ale-house
who dressed it as would have been demanded for all
the elegance of the King’s Arms, or any other
polite tavern or eating-house! for, indeed, the difference
between the best house and the worst is, that at the
former you pay largely for luxury, at the latter for
nothing.
Thursday, June 27.-This
morning the captain, who lay on shore at his own house,
paid us a visit in the cabin, and behaved like an angry
bashaw, declaring that, had he known we were not to
be pleased, he would not have carried us for five
hundred pounds. He added many asseverations that
he was a gentleman, and despised money; not forgetting
several hints of the presents which had been made
him for his cabin, of twenty, thirty, and forty guineas,
by several gentlemen, over and above the sum for which
they had contracted. This behavior greatly surprised
me, as I knew not how to account for it, nothing having
happened since we parted from the captain the evening
before in perfect good humor; and all this broke forth
on the first moment of his arrival this morning.
He did not, however, suffer my amazement to have any
long continuance before he clearly showed me that
all this was meant only as an apology to introduce
another procrastination (being the fifth) of his weighing
anchor, which was now postponed till Saturday, for
such was his will and pleasure.
Besides the disagreeable situation
in which we then lay, in the confines of Wapping and
Rotherhithe, tasting a delicious mixture of the air
of both these sweet places, and enjoying the concord
of sweet sounds of seamen, watermen, fish-women, oyster-women,
and of all the vociferous inhabitants of both shores,
composing altogether a greater variety of harmony
than Hogarth’s imagination hath brought together
in that print of his, which is enough to make a man
deaf to look at-I had a more urgent cause
to press our departure, which was, that the dropsy,
for which I had undergone three tappings, seemed to
threaten me with a fourth discharge before I should
reach Lisbon, and when I should have nobody on board
capable of performing the operation; but I was obliged
to hearken to the voice of reason, if I may use the
captain’s own words, and to rest myself contented.
Indeed, there was no alternative within my reach but
what would have cost me much too dear. There are
many evils in society from which people of the highest
rank are so entirely exempt, that they have not the
least knowledge or idea of them; nor indeed of the
characters which are formed by them. Such, for
instance, is the conveyance of goods and passengers
from one place to another. Now there is no such
thing as any kind of knowledge contemptible in itself;
and, as the particular knowledge I here mean is entirely
necessary to the well understanding and well enjoying
this journal; and, lastly, as in this case the most
ignorant will be those very readers whose amusement
we chiefly consult, and to whom we wish to be supposed
principally to write, we will here enter somewhat
largely into the discussion of this matter; the rather,
for that no ancient or modern author (if we can trust
the catalogue of doctor Mead’s library) hath
ever undertaken it, but that it seems (in the style
of Don Quixote) a task reserved for my pen alone.
When I first conceived this intention
I began to entertain thoughts of inquiring into the
antiquity of traveling; and, as many persons have
performed in this way (I mean have traveled) at the
expense of the public, I flattered myself that the
spirit of improving arts and sciences, and of advancing
useful and substantial learning, which so eminently
distinguishes this age, and hath given rise to more
speculative societies in Europe than I at present can
recollect the names of-perhaps, indeed,
than I or any other, besides their very near neighbors,
ever heard mentioned-would assist in promoting
so curious a work; a work begun with the same views,
calculated for the same purposes, and fitted for the
same uses, with the labors which those right honorable
societies have so cheerfully undertaken themselves,
and encouraged in others; sometimes with the highest
honors, even with admission into their colleges, and
with enrollment among their members.
From these societies I promised myself
all assistance in their power, particularly the communication
of such valuable manuscripts and records as they must
be supposed to have collected from those obscure ages
of antiquity when history yields us such imperfect
accounts of the residence, and much more imperfect
of the travels, of the human race; unless, perhaps,
as a curious and learned member of the young Society
of Antiquarians is said to have hinted his conjectures,
that their residence and their travels were one and
the same; and this discovery (for such it seems to
be) he is said to have owed to the lighting by accident
on a book, which we shall have occasion to mention
presently, the contents of which were then little
known to the society.
The king of Prussia, moreover, who,
from a degree of benevolence and taste which in either
case is a rare production in so northern a climate,
is the great encourager of art and science, I was well
assured would promote so useful a design, and order
his archives to be searched on my behalf. But
after well weighing all these advantages, and much
meditation on the order of my work, my whole design
was subverted in a moment by hearing of the discovery
just mentioned to have been made by the young antiquarian,
who, from the most ancient record in the world (though
I don’t find the society are all agreed on this
point), one long preceding the date of the earliest
modern collections, either of books or butterflies,
none of which pretend to go beyond the flood, shows
us that the first man was a traveler, and that he and
his family were scarce settled in Paradise before
they disliked their own home, and became passengers
to another place. Hence it appears that the humor
of traveling is as old as the human race, and that
it was their curse from the beginning. By this
discovery my plan became much shortened, and I found
it only necessary to treat of the conveyance of goods
and passengers from place to place; which, not being
universally known, seemed proper to be explained before
we examined into its original. There are indeed
two different ways of tracing all things used by the
historian and the antiquary; these are upwards and
downwards.
The former shows you how things are,
and leaves to others to discover when they began to
be so. The latter shows you how things were, and
leaves their present existence to be examined by others.
Hence the former is more useful, the latter more curious.
The former receives the thanks of mankind; the latter
of that valuable part, the virtuosi.
In explaining, therefore, this mystery
of carrying goods and passengers from one place to
another, hitherto so profound a secret to the very
best of our readers, we shall pursue the historical
method, and endeavor to show by what means it is at
present performed, referring the more curious inquiry
either to some other pen or to some other opportunity.
Now there are two general ways of
performing (if God permit) this conveyance, viz.,
by land and water, both of which have much variety;
that by land being performed in different vehicles,
such as coaches, caravans, wagons, etc.; and
that by water in ships, barges, and boats, of various
sizes and denominations. But, as all these methods
of conveyance are formed on the same principles, they
agree so well together, that it is fully sufficient
to comprehend them all in the general view, without
descending to such minute particulars as would distinguish
one method from another.
Common to all of these is one general
principle that, as the goods to be conveyed are usually
the larger, so they are to be chiefly considered in
the conveyance; the owner being indeed little more
than an appendage to his trunk, or box, or bale, or
at best a small part of his own baggage, very little
care is to be taken in stowing or packing them up with
convenience to himself; for the conveyance is not of
passengers and goods, but of goods and passengers.
Secondly, from this conveyance arises
a new kind of relation, or rather of subjection, in
the society, by which the passenger becomes bound in
allegiance to his conveyer. This allegiance is
indeed only temporary and local, but the most absolute
during its continuance of any known in Great Britain,
and, to say truth, scarce consistent with the liberties
of a free people, nor could it be reconciled with them,
did it not move downwards; a circumstance universally
apprehended to be incompatible to all kinds of slavery;
for Aristotle in his Politics hath proved abundantly
to my satisfaction that no men are born to be slaves,
except barbarians; and these only to such as are not
themselves barbarians; and indeed Mr. Montesquieu
hath carried it very little farther in the case of
the Africans; the real truth being that no man is born
to be a slave, unless to him who is able to make him
so.
Thirdly, this subjection is absolute,
and consists of a perfect resignation both of body
and soul to the disposal of another; after which resignation,
during a certain time, his subject retains no more
power over his own will than an Asiatic slave, or an
English wife, by the laws of both countries, and by
the customs of one of them. If I should mention
the instance of a stage-coachman, many of my readers
would recognize the truth of what I have here observed;
all, indeed, that ever have been under the dominion
of that tyrant, who in this free country is as absolute
as a Turkish bashaw. In two particulars only his
power is defective; he cannot press you into his service,
and if you enter yourself at one place, on condition
of being discharged at a certain time at another,
he is obliged to perform his agreement, if God permit,
but all the intermediate time you are absolutely under
his government; he carries you how he will, when he
will, and whither he will, provided it be not much
out of the road; you have nothing to eat or to drink,
but what, and when, and where he pleases. Nay,
you cannot sleep unless he pleases you should; for
he will order you sometimes out of bed at midnight
and hurry you away at a moment’s warning:
indeed, if you can sleep in his vehicle he cannot
prevent it; nay, indeed, to give him his due, this
he is ordinarily disposed to encourage: for the
earlier he forces you to rise in the morning, the more
time he will give you in the heat of the day, sometimes
even six hours at an ale-house, or at their doors,
where he always gives you the same indulgence which
he allows himself; and for this he is generally very
moderate in his demands. I have known a whole
bundle of passengers charged no more than half-a-crown
for being suffered to remain quiet at an ale-house
door for above a whole hour, and that even in the
hottest day in summer. But as this kind of tyranny,
though it hath escaped our political writers, hath
been I think touched by our dramatic, and is more trite
among the generality of readers; and as this and all
other kinds of such subjection are alike unknown to
my friends, I will quit the passengers by land, and
treat of those who travel by water; for whatever is
said on this subject is applicable to both alike,
and we may bring them together as closely as they
are brought in the liturgy, when they are recommended
to the prayers of all Christian congregations; and
(which I have often thought very remarkable) where
they are joined with other miserable wretches, such
as women in labor, people in sickness, infants just
born, prisoners and captives. Goods and passengers
are conveyed by water in divers vehicles, the principal
of which being a ship, it shall suffice to mention
that alone. Here the tyrant doth not derive his
title, as the stage-coachman doth, from the vehicle
itself in which he stows his goods and passengers,
but he is called the captain-a word of such
various use and uncertain signification, that it seems
very difficult to fix any positive idea to it:
if, indeed, there be any general meaning which may
comprehend all its different uses, that of the head
or chief of any body of men seems to be most capable
of this comprehension; for whether they be a company
of soldiers, a crew of sailors, or a gang of rogues,
he who is at the head of them is always styled the
captain.
The particular tyrant whose fortune
it was to stow us aboard laid a farther claim to this
appellation than the bare command of a vehicle of
conveyance. He had been the captain of a privateer,
which he chose to call being in the king’s service,
and thence derived a right of hoisting the military
ornament of a cockade over the button of his hat.
He likewise wore a sword of no ordinary length by
his side, with which he swaggered in his cabin, among
the wretches his passengers, whom he had stowed in
cupboards on each side. He was a person of a very
singular character. He had taken it into his
head that he was a gentleman, from those very reasons
that proved he was not one; and to show himself a
fine gentleman, by a behavior which seemed to insinuate
he had never seen one. He was, moreover, a man
of gallantry; at the age of seventy he had the finicalness
of Sir Courtly Nice, with the roughness of Surly;
and, while he was deaf himself, had a voice capable
of deafening all others.
Now, as I saw myself in danger by
the delays of the captain, who was, in reality, waiting
for more freight, and as the wind had been long nested,
as it were, in the southwest, where it constantly blew
hurricanes, I began with great reason to apprehend
that our voyage might be long, and that my belly,
which began already to be much extended, would require
the water to be let out at a time when no assistance
was at hand; though, indeed, the captain comforted
me with assurances that he had a pretty young fellow
on board who acted as his surgeon, as I found he likewise
did as steward, cook, butler, sailor. In short,
he had as many offices as Scrub in the play, and went
through them all with great dexterity; this of surgeon
was, perhaps, the only one in which his skill was
somewhat deficient, at least that branch of tapping
for the dropsy; for he very ingenuously and modestly
confessed he had never seen the operation performed,
nor was possessed of that chirurgical instrument with
which it is performed.
Friday, June 28.-By way
of prevention, therefore, I this day sent for my friend,
Mr. Hunter, the great surgeon and anatomist of Covent-garden;
and, though my belly was not yet very full and tight,
let out ten quarts of water; the young sea-surgeon
attended the operation, not as a performer, but as
a student.
I was now eased of the greatest apprehension
which I had from the length of the passage; and I
told the captain I was become indifferent as to the
time of his sailing. He expressed much satisfaction
in this declaration, and at hearing from me that I
found myself, since my tapping, much lighter and better.
In this, I believe, he was sincere; for he was, as
we shall have occasion to observe more than once, a
very good-natured man; and, as he was a very brave
one too, I found that the heroic constancy with which
I had borne an operation that is attended with scarce
any degree of pain had not a little raised me in his
esteem. That he might adhere, therefore, in the
most religious and rigorous manner to his word, when
he had no longer any temptation from interest to break
it, as he had no longer any hopes of more goods or
passengers, he ordered his ship to fall down to Gravesend
on Sunday morning, and there to wait his arrival.
Sunday, June 30.-Nothing
worth notice passed till that morning, when my poor
wife, after passing a night in the utmost torments
of the toothache, resolved to have it drawn.
I despatched therefore a servant into Wapping to bring
in haste the best tooth-drawer he could find.
He soon found out a female of great eminence in the
art; but when he brought her to the boat, at the waterside,
they were informed that the ship was gone; for indeed
she had set out a few minutes after his quitting her;
nor did the pilot, who well knew the errand on which
I had sent my servant, think fit to wait a moment
for his return, or to give me any notice of his setting
out, though I had very patiently attended the delays
of the captain four days, after many solemn promises
of weighing anchor every one of the three last.
But of all the petty bashaws or turbulent tyrants
I ever beheld, this sour-faced pilot was the worst
tempered; for, during the time that he had the guidance
of the ship, which was till we arrived in the Downs,
he complied with no one’s desires, nor did he
give a civil word, or indeed a civil look, to any on
board.
The tooth-drawer, who, as I said before,
was one of great eminence among her neighbors, refused
to follow the ship; so that my man made himself the
best of his way, and with some difficulty came up with
us before we were got under full sail; for after that,
as we had both wind and tide with us, he would have
found it impossible to overtake the ship till she
was come to an anchor at Gravesend.
The morning was fair and bright, and
we had a passage thither, I think, as pleasant as
can be conceived: for, take it with all its advantages,
particularly the number of fine ships you are always
sure of seeing by the way, there is nothing to equal
it in all the rivers of the world. The yards
of Deptford and of Woolwich are noble sights, and give
us a just idea of the great perfection to which we
are arrived in building those floating castles, and
the figure which we may always make in Europe among
the other maritime powers. That of Woolwich, at
least, very strongly imprinted this idea on my mind;
for there was now on the stocks there the Royal Anne,
supposed to be the largest ship ever built, and which
contains ten carriage-guns more than had ever yet equipped
a first-rate.
It is true, perhaps, that there is
more of ostentation than of real utility in ships
of this vast and unwieldy burden, which are rarely
capable of acting against an enemy; but if the building
such contributes to preserve, among other nations,
the notion of the British superiority in naval affairs,
the expense, though very great, is well incurred, and
the ostentation is laudable and truly political.
Indeed, I should be sorry to allow that Holland, France,
or Spain, possessed a vessel larger and more beautiful
than the largest and most beautiful of ours; for this
honor I would always administer to the pride of our
sailors, who should challenge it from all their neighbors
with truth and success. And sure I am that not
our honest tars alone, but every inhabitant of this
island, may exult in the comparison, when he considers
the king of Great Britain as a maritime prince, in
opposition to any other prince in Europe; but I am
not so certain that the same idea of superiority will
result from comparing our land forces with those of
many other crowned heads. In numbers they all
far exceed us, and in the goodness and splendor of
their troops many nations, particularly the Germans
and French, and perhaps the Dutch, cast us at a distance;
for, however we may flatter ourselves with the Edwards
and Henrys of former ages, the change of the whole
art of war since those days, by which the advantage
of personal strength is in a manner entirely lost,
hath produced a change in military affairs to the
advantage of our enemies. As for our successes
in later days, if they were not entirely owing to the
superior genius of our general, they were not a little
due to the superior force of his money. Indeed,
if we should arraign marshal Saxe of ostentation when
he showed his army, drawn up, to our captive general,
the day after the battle of La Val, we cannot say
that the ostentation was entirely vain; since he certainly
showed him an army which had not been often equaled,
either in the number or goodness of the troops, and
which, in those respects, so far exceeded ours, that
none can ever cast any reflection on the brave young
prince who could not reap the laurels of conquest in
that day; but his retreat will be always mentioned
as an addition to his glory.
In our marine the case is entirely
the reverse, and it must be our own fault if it doth
not continue so; for continue so it will as long as
the flourishing state of our trade shall support it,
and this support it can never want till our legislature
shall cease to give sufficient attention to the protection
of our trade, and our magistrates want sufficient
power, ability, and honesty, to execute the laws; a
circumstance not to be apprehended, as it cannot happen
till our senates and our benches shall be filled with
the blindest ignorance, or with the blackest corruption.
Besides the ships in the docks, we
saw many on the water: the yachts are sights
of great parade, and the king’s body yacht is,
I believe, unequaled in any country for convenience
as well as magnificence; both which are consulted
in building and equipping her with the most exquisite
art and workmanship.
We saw likewise several Indiamen just
returned from their voyage.
These are, I believe, the largest
and finest vessels which are anywhere employed in
commercial affairs. The colliers, likewise,
which are very numerous, and even assemble in fleets,
are ships of great bulk; and if we descend to those
used in the American, African, and European trades,
and pass through those which visit our own coasts,
to the small craft that lie between Chatham and the
Tower, the whole forms a most pleasing object to the
eye, as well as highly warming to the heart of an
Englishman who has any degree of love for his country,
or can recognize any effect of the patriot in his
constitution. Lastly, the Royal Hospital at Greenwich,
which presents so delightful a front to the water,
and doth such honor at once to its builder and the
nation, to the great skill and ingenuity of the one,
and to the no less sensible gratitude of the other,
very properly closes the account of this scene; which
may well appear romantic to those who have not themselves
seen that, in this one instance, truth and reality
are capable, perhaps, of exceeding the power of fiction.
When we had passed by Greenwich we saw only two or
three gentlemen’s houses, all of very moderate
account, till we reached Gravesend: these are
all on the Kentish shore, which affords a much dryer,
wholesomer, and pleasanter situation, than doth that
of its opposite, Essex. This circumstance, I
own, is somewhat surprising to me, when I reflect
on the numerous villas that crowd the river from Chelsea
upwards as far as Shepperton, where the narrower channel
affords not half so noble a prospect, and where the
continual succession of the small craft, like the
frequent repetition of all things, which have nothing
in them great, beautiful, or admirable, tire the eye,
and give us distaste and aversion, instead of pleasure.
With some of these situations, such as Barnes, Mortlake,
etc., even the shore of Essex might contend,
not upon very unequal terms; but on the Kentish borders
there are many spots to be chosen by the builder which
might justly claim the preference over almost the
very finest of those in Middlesex and Surrey.
How shall we account for this depravity
in taste? for surely there are none so very mean and
contemptible as to bring the pleasure of seeing a
number of little wherries, gliding along after one
another, in competition with what we enjoy in viewing
a succession of ships, with all their sails expanded
to the winds, bounding over the waves before us.
And here I cannot pass by another
observation on the deplorable want of taste in our
enjoyments, which we show by almost totally neglecting
the pursuit of what seems to me the highest degree
of amusement; this is, the sailing ourselves in little
vessels of our own, contrived only for our ease and
accommodation, to which such situations of our villas
as I have recommended would be so convenient, and
even necessary.
This amusement, I confess, if enjoyed
in any perfection, would be of the expensive kind;
but such expense would not exceed the reach of a moderate
fortune, and would fall very short of the prices which
are daily paid for pleasures of a far inferior rate.
The truth, I believe, is, that sailing
in the manner I have just mentioned is a pleasure
rather unknown, or unthought of, than rejected by
those who have experienced it; unless, perhaps, the
apprehension of danger or seasickness may be supposed,
by the timorous and delicate, to make too large deductions-insisting
that all their enjoyments shall come to them pure
and unmixed, and being ever ready to cry out,
-Nocet empta
dolore voluptas.
This, however, was my present case;
for the ease and lightness which I felt from my tapping,
the gayety of the morning, the pleasant sailing with
wind and tide, and the many agreeable objects with
which I was constantly entertained during the whole
way, were all suppressed and overcome by the single
consideration of my wife’s pain, which continued
incessantly to torment her till we came to an anchor,
when I dispatched a messenger in great haste for the
best reputed operator in Gravesend. A surgeon
of some eminence now appeared, who did not decline
tooth-drawing, though he certainly would have been
offended with the appellation of tooth-drawer no less
than his brethren, the members of that venerable body,
would be with that of barber, since the late separation
between those long-united companies, by which, if the
surgeons have gained much, the barbers are supposed
to have lost very little. This able and careful
person (for so I sincerely believe he is) after examining
the guilty tooth, declared that it was such a rotten
shell, and so placed at the very remotest end of the
upper jaw, where it was in a manner covered and secured
by a large fine firm tooth, that he despaired of his
power of drawing it.
He said, indeed, more to my wife,
and used more rhetoric to dissuade her from having
it drawn, than is generally employed to persuade young
ladies to prefer a pain of three moments to one of
three months’ continuance, especially if those
young ladies happen to be past forty and fifty years
of age, when, by submitting to support a racking torment,
the only good circumstance attending which is, it is
so short that scarce one in a thousand can cry out
“I feel it,” they are to do a violence
to their charms, and lose one of those beautiful holders
with which alone Sir Courtly Nice declares a lady
can ever lay hold of his heart. He said at last
so much, and seemed to reason so justly, that I came
over to his side, and assisted him in prevailing on
my wife (for it was no easy matter) to resolve on
keeping her tooth a little longer, and to apply palliatives
only for relief. These were opium applied to the
tooth, and blisters behind the ears.
Whilst we were at dinner this day
in the cabin, on a sudden the window on one side was
beat into the room with a crash as if a twenty-pounder
had been discharged among us. We were all alarmed
at the suddenness of the accident, for which, however,
we were soon able to account, for the sash, which
was shivered all to pieces, was pursued into the middle
of the cabin by the bowsprit of a little ship called
a cod-smack, the master of which made us amends for
running (carelessly at best) against us, and injuring
the ship, in the sea-way; that is to say, by damning
us all to hell, and uttering several pious wishes
that it had done us much more mischief. All which
were answered in their own kind and phrase by our
men, between whom and the other crew a dialogue of
oaths and scurrility was carried on as long as they
continued in each other’s hearing.
It is difficult, I think, to assign
a satisfactory reason why sailors in general should,
of all others, think themselves entirely discharged
from the common bands of humanity, and should seem
to glory in the language and behavior of savages!
They see more of the world, and have, most of them,
a more erudite education than is the portion of landmen
of their degree. Nor do I believe that in any
country they visit (Holland itself not excepted) they
can ever find a parallel to what daily passes on the
river Thames. Is it that they think true courage
(for they are the bravest fellows upon earth) inconsistent
with all the gentleness of a humane carriage, and
that the contempt of civil order springs up in minds
but little cultivated, at the same time and from the
same principles with the contempt of danger and death?
Is it ? in short, it is so; and how it comes
to be so I leave to form a question in the Robin Hood
Society, or to be propounded for solution among the
enigmas in the Woman’s Almanac for the
next year.
Monday, July 1.-This day
Mr. Welch took his leave of me after dinner, as did
a young lady of her sister, who was proceeding with
my wife to Lisbon. They both set out together
in a post-chaise for London. Soon after their
departure our cabin, where my wife and I were sitting
together, was visited by two ruffians, whose appearance
greatly corresponded with that of the sheriffs, or
rather the knight-marshal’s bailiffs. One
of these especially, who seemed to affect a more than
ordinary degree of rudeness and insolence, came in
without any kind of ceremony, with a broad gold lace
on his hat, which was cocked with much military fierceness
on his head. An inkhorn at his buttonhole and
some papers in his hand sufficiently assured me what
he was, and I asked him if he and his companion were
not custom-house officers: he answered with sufficient
dignity that they were, as an information which he
seemed to conclude would strike the hearer with awe,
and suppress all further inquiry; but, on the contrary,
I proceeded to ask of what rank he was in the custom-house,
and, receiving an answer from his companion, as I
remember, that the gentleman was a riding surveyor,
I replied that he might be a riding surveyor, but
could be no gentleman, for that none who had any title
to that denomination would break into the presence
of a lady without an apology or even moving his hat.
He then took his covering from his head and laid it
on the table, saying, he asked pardon, and blamed
the mate, who should, he said, have informed him if
any persons of distinction were below. I told
him he might guess by our appearance (which, perhaps,
was rather more than could be said with the strictest
adherence to truth) that he was before a gentleman
and lady, which should teach him to be very civil
in his behavior, though we should not happen to be
of that number whom the world calls people of fashion
and distinction. However, I said, that as he seemed
sensible of his error, and had asked pardon, the lady
would permit him to put his hat on again if he chose
it. This he refused with some degree of surliness,
and failed not to convince me that, if I should condescend
to become more gentle, he would soon grow more rude.
I now renewed a reflection, which I have often seen
occasion to make, that there is nothing so incongruous
in nature as any kind of power with lowness of mind
and of ability, and that there is nothing more deplorable
than the want of truth in the whimsical notion of
Plato, who tells us that “Saturn, well knowing
the state of human affairs, gave us kings and rulers,
not of human but divine original; for, as we make not
shepherds of sheep, nor oxherds of oxen, nor goatherds
of goats, but place some of our own kind over all
as being better and fitter to govern them; in the
same manner were demons by the divine love set over
us as a race of beings of a superior order to men,
and who, with great ease to themselves, might regulate
our affairs and establish peace, modesty, freedom,
and justice, and, totally destroying all sedition,
might complete the happiness of the human race.
So far, at least, may even now be said with truth,
that in all states which are under the government of
mere man, without any divine assistance, there is nothing
but labor and misery to be found. From what I
have said, therefore, we may at least learn, with
our utmost endeavors, to imitate the Saturnian institution;
borrowing all assistance from our immortal part, while
we pay to this the strictest obedience, we should
form both our private economy and public policy from
its dictates. By this dispensation of our immortal
minds we are to establish a law and to call it by that
name. But if any government be in the hands of
a single person, of the few, or of the many, and such
governor or governors shall abandon himself or themselves
to the unbridled pursuit of the wildest pleasures or
desires, unable to restrain any passion, but possessed
with an insatiable bad disease; if such shall attempt
to govern, and at the same time to trample on all
laws, there can be no means of preservation left for
the wretched people.” Plato de Leg., lib.
iv. , , edit. Serrani.
It is true that Plato is here treating
of the highest or sovereign power in a state, but
it is as true that his observations are general and
may be applied to all inferior powers; and, indeed,
every subordinate degree is immediately derived from
the highest; and, as it is equally protected by the
same force and sanctified by the same authority, is
alike dangerous to the well-being of the subject.
Of all powers, perhaps, there is none so sanctified
and protected as this which is under our present consideration.
So numerous, indeed, and strong, are the sanctions
given to it by many acts of parliament, that, having
once established the laws of customs on merchandise,
it seems to have been the sole view of the legislature
to strengthen the hands and to protect the persons
of the officers who became established by those laws,
many of whom are so far from bearing any resemblance
to the Saturnian institution, and to be chosen from
a degree of beings superior to the rest of human race,
that they sometimes seem industriously picked out of
the lowest and vilest orders of mankind. There
is, indeed, nothing, so useful to man in general,
nor so beneficial to particular societies and individuals,
as trade. This is that alma mater at whose plentiful
breast all mankind are nourished. It is true,
like other parents, she is not always equally indulgent
to all her children, but, though she gives to her
favorites a vast proportion of redundancy and superfluity,
there are very few whom she refuses to supply with
the conveniences, and none with the necessaries, of
life.
Such a benefactress as this must naturally
be beloved by mankind in general; it would be wonderful,
therefore, if her interest was not considered by them,
and protected from the fraud and violence of some
of her rebellious offspring, who, coveting more than
their share or more than she thinks proper to allow
them, are daily employed in meditating mischief against
her, and in endeavoring to steal from their brethren
those shares which this great alma mater had allowed
them.
At length our governor came on board,
and about six in the evening we weighed anchor, and
fell down to the Nore, whither our passage was extremely
pleasant, the evening being very delightful, the moon
just past the full, and both wind and tide favorable
to us.
Tuesday, July 2.-This morning
we again set sail, under all the advantages we had
enjoyed the evening before. This day we left the
shore of Essex and coasted along Kent, passing by the
pleasant island of Thanet, which is an island, and
that of Sheppy, which is not an island, and about
three o ’clock, the wind being now full in our
teeth, we came to an anchor in the Downs, within two
miles of Deal.-My wife, having suffered
intolerable pain from her tooth, again renewed her
resolution of having it drawn, and another surgeon
was sent for from Deal, but with no better success
than the former. He likewise declined the operation,
for the same reason which had been assigned by the
former: however, such was her resolution, backed
with pain, that he was obliged to make the attempt,
which concluded more in honor of his judgment than
of his operation; for, after having put my poor wife
to inexpressible torment, he was obliged to leave
her tooth in statu quo; and she had now the comfortable
prospect of a long fit of pain, which might have lasted
her whole voyage, without any possibility of relief.
In these pleasing sensations, of which I had my just
share, nature, overcome with fatigue, about eight
in the evening resigned her to rest-a circumstance
which would have given me some happiness, could I
have known how to employ those spirits which were
raised by it; but, unfortunately for me, I was left
in a disposition of enjoying an agreeable hour without
the assistance of a companion, which has always appeared
to me necessary to such enjoyment; my daughter and
her companion were both retired sea-sick to bed; the
other passengers were a rude school-boy of fourteen
years old and an illiterate Portuguese friar, who
understood no language but his own, in which I had
not the least smattering. The captain was the
only person left in whose conversation I might indulge
myself; but unluckily, besides a total ignorance of
everything in the world but a ship, he had the misfortune
of being so deaf, that to make him hear, I will not
say understand, my words, I must run the risk of conveying
them to the ears of my wife, who, though in another
room (called, I think, the state-room-being,
indeed, a most stately apartment, capable of containing
one human body in length, if not very tall, and three
bodies in breadth), lay asleep within a yard of me.
In this situation necessity and choice were one and
the same thing; the captain and I sat down together
to a small bowl of punch, over which we both soon fell
fast asleep, and so concluded the evening.
Wednesday, July 3.-This
morning I awaked at four o’clock for my distemper
seldom suffered me to sleep later. I presently
got up, and had the pleasure of enjoying the sight
of a tempestuous sea for four hours before the captain
was stirring; for he loved to indulge himself in morning
slumbers, which were attended with a wind-music, much
more agreeable to the performers than to the hearers,
especially such as have, as I had, the privilege of
sitting in the orchestra. At eight o ’clock
the captain rose, and sent his boat on shore.
I ordered my man likewise to go in it, as my distemper
was not of that kind which entirely deprives us of
appetite. Now, though the captain had well victualled
his ship with all manner of salt provisions for the
voyage, and had added great quantities of fresh stores,
particularly of vegetables, at Gravesend, such as
beans and peas, which had been on board only two days,
and had possibly not been gathered above two more,
I apprehended I could provide better for myself at
Deal than the ship’s ordinary seemed to promise.
I accordingly sent for fresh provisions of all kinds
from the shore, in order to put off the evil day of
starving as long as possible. My man returned
with most of the articles I sent for, and I now thought
myself in a condition of living a week on my own provisions.
I therefore ordered my own dinner, which I wanted nothing
but a cook to dress and a proper fire to dress it at;
but those were not to be had, nor indeed any addition
to my roast mutton, except the pleasure of the captain’s
company, with that of the other passengers; for my
wife continued the whole day in a state of dozing,
and my other females, whose sickness did not abate
by the rolling of the ship at anchor, seemed more
inclined to empty their stomachs than to fill them.
Thus I passed the whole day (except about an hour at
dinner) by myself, and the evening concluded with
the captain as the preceding one had done; one comfortable
piece of news he communicated to me, which was, that
he had no doubt of a prosperous wind in the morning;
but as he did not divulge the reasons of this confidence,
and as I saw none myself besides the wind being directly
opposite, my faith in this prophecy was not strong
enough to build any great hopes upon.
Thursday, July 4.-This
morning, however, the captain seemed resolved to fulfill
his own predictions, whether the wind would or no;
he accordingly weighed anchor, and, taking the advantage
of the tide when the wind was not very boisterous,
he hoisted his sails; and, as if his power had been
no less absolute over Aeolus than it was over Neptune,
he forced the wind to blow him on in its own despite.
But as all men who have ever been
at sea well know how weak such attempts are, and want
no authorities of Scripture to prove that the most
absolute power of a captain of a ship is very contemptible
in the wind’s eye, so did it befall our noble
commander, who, having struggled with the wind three
or four hours, was obliged to give over, and lost
in a few minutes all that he had been so long a-gaining;
in short, we returned to our former station, and once
more cast anchor in the neighborhood of Deal.
Here, though we lay near the shore,
that we might promise ourselves all the emolument
which could be derived from it, we found ourselves
deceived; and that we might with as much conveniency
be out of the sight of land; for, except when the
captain launched forth his own boat, which he did
always with great reluctance, we were incapable of
procuring anything from Deal, but at a price too exorbitant,
and beyond the reach even of modern luxury-the
fare of a boat from Deal, which lay at two miles’
distance, being at least three half-crowns, and, if
we had been in any distress for it, as many half-guineas;
for these good people consider the sea as a large
common appendant to their manor; in which when they
find any of their fellow-creatures impounded, they
conclude that they have a full right of making them
pay at their own discretion for their deliverance:
to say the truth, whether it be that men who live
on the sea-shore are of an amphibious kind, and do
not entirely partake of human nature, or whatever
else may be the reason, they are so far from taking
any share in the distresses of mankind, or of being
moved with any compassion for them, that they look
upon them as blessings showered down from above, and
which the more they improve to their own use, the
greater is their gratitude and piety. Thus at
Gravesend a sculler requires a shilling for going
less way than he would row in London for threepence;
and at Deal a boat often brings more profit in a day
than it can produce in London in a week, or perhaps
in a month; in both places the owner of the boat founds
his demand on the necessity and distress of one who
stands more or less in absolute want of his assistance,
and with the urgency of these always rises in the
exorbitancy of his demand, without ever considering
that, from these very circumstances, the power or
ease of gratifying such demand is in like proportion
lessened. Now, as I am unwilling that some conclusions,
which may be, I am aware, too justly drawn from these
observations, should be imputed to human nature in
general, I have endeavored to account for them in
a way more consistent with the goodness and dignity
of that nature. However it be, it seems a little
to reflect on the governors of such monsters that
they do not take some means to restrain these impositions,
and prevent them from triumphing any longer in the
miseries of those who are, in many circumstances at
least, their fellow-creatures, and considering the
distresses of a wretched seaman, from his being wrecked
to his being barely windbound, as a blessing sent
among them from above, and calling it by that blasphemous
name.
Friday, July 5.-This day
I sent a servant on board a man-of-war that was stationed
here, with my compliments to the captain, to represent
to him the distress of the ladies, and to desire the
favor of his long-boat to conduct us to Dover, at
about seven miles’ distance; and at the same
time presumed to make use of a great lady’s name,
the wife of the first lord commissioner of the admiralty,
who would, I told him, be pleased with any kindness
shown by him towards us in our miserable condition.
And this I am convinced was true, from the humanity
of the lady, though she was entirely unknown to me.
The captain returned a verbal answer
to a long letter acquainting me that what I desired
could not be complied with, it being a favor not in
his power to grant. This might be, and I suppose
was, true; but it is as true that, if he was able
to write, and had pen, ink, and paper on board, he
might have sent a written answer, and that it was the
part of a gentleman so to have done; but this is a
character seldom maintained on the watery element,
especially by those who exercise any power on it.
Every commander of a vessel here seems to think himself
entirely free from all those rules of decency and
civility which direct and restrain the conduct of
the members of a society on shore; and each, claiming
absolute dominion in his little wooden world, rules
by his own laws and his own discretion. I do
not, indeed, know so pregnant an instance of the dangerous
consequences of absolute power, and its aptness to
intoxicate the mind, as that of those petty tyrants,
who become such in a moment, from very well-disposed
and social members of that communion in which they
affect no superiority, but live in an orderly state
of legal subjection with their fellow-citizens.
Saturday, July 6.-This
morning our commander, declaring he was sure the wind
would change, took the advantage of an ebbing tide,
and weighed his anchor. His assurance, however,
had the same completion, and his endeavors the same
success, with his formal trial; and he was soon obliged
to return once more to his old quarters. Just
before we let go our anchor, a small sloop, rather
than submit to yield us an inch of way, ran foul of
our ship, and carried off her bowsprit. This obstinate
frolic would have cost those aboard the sloop very
dear, if our steersman had not been too generous to
exert his superiority, the certain consequence of
which would have been the immediate sinking of the
other. This contention of the inferior with a
might capable of crushing it in an instant may seem
to argue no small share of folly or madness, as well
as of impudence; but I am convinced there is very
little danger in it: contempt is a port to which
the pride of man submits to fly with reluctance, but
those who are within it are always in a place of the
most assured security; for whosoever throws away his
sword prefers, indeed, a less honorable but much safer
means of avoiding danger than he who defends himself
with it. And here we shall offer another distinction,
of the truth of which much reading and experience
have well convinced us, that as in the most absolute
governments there is a regular progression of slavery
downwards, from the top to the bottom, the mischief
of which is seldom felt with any great force and bitterness
but by the next immediate degree; so in the most dissolute
and anarchical states there is as regular an ascent
of what is called rank or condition, which is always
laying hold of the head of him who is advanced but
one step higher on the ladder, who might, if he did
not too much despise such efforts, kick his pursuer
headlong to the bottom. We will conclude this
digression with one general and short observation,
which will, perhaps, set the whole matter in a clearer
light than the longest and most labored harangue.
Whereas envy of all things most exposes us to danger
from others, so contempt of all things best secures
us from them. And thus, while the dung-cart and
the sloop are always meditating mischief against the
coach and the ship, and throwing themselves designedly
in their way, the latter consider only their own security,
and are not ashamed to break the road and let the other
pass by them.
Monday, July 8.-Having
passed our Sunday without anything remarkable, unless
the catching a great number of whitings in the afternoon
may be thought so, we now set sail on Monday at six
o’clock, with a little variation of wind; but
this was so very little, and the breeze itself so
small, but the tide was our best and indeed almost
our only friend. This conducted us along the
short remainder of the Kentish shore. Here we
passed that cliff of Dover which makes so tremendous
a figure in Shakespeare, and which whoever reads without
being giddy, must, according to Mr. Addison’s
observation, have either a very good head or a very
bad, one; but which, whoever contracts any such ideas
from the sight of, must have at least a poetic if
not a Shakesperian genius. In truth, mountains,
rivers, heroes, and gods owe great part of their existence
to the poets; and Greece and Italy do so plentifully
abound in the former, because they furnish so glorious
a number of the latter; who, while they bestowed immortality
on every little hillock and blind stream, left the
noblest rivers and mountains in the world to share
the same obscurity with the eastern and western poets,
in which they are celebrated. This evening we
beat the sea of Sussex in sight of Dungeness, with
much more pleasure than progress; for the weather was
almost a perfect calm, and the moon, which was almost
at the full, scarce suffered a single cloud to veil
her from our sight.
Tuesday, Wednesday, July 9, 10.-These
two days we had much the same fine weather, and made
much the same way; but in the evening of the latter
day a pretty fresh gale sprung up at N.N.W., which
brought us by the morning in sight of the Isle of
Wight.
Thursday, July 11.-This
gale continued till towards noon; when the east end
of the island bore but little ahead of us. The
captain swaggered and declared he would keep the sea;
but the wind got the better of him, so that about
three he gave up the victory, and making a sudden tack
stood in for the shore, passed by Spithead and Portsmouth,
and came to an anchor at a place called Ryde on the
island.
A most tragical incident fell out
this day at sea. While the ship was under sail,
but making as will appear no great way, a kitten, one
of four of the feline inhabitants of the cabin, fell
from the window into the water: an alarm was
immediately given to the captain, who was then upon
deck, and received it with the utmost concern and many
bitter oaths. He immediately gave orders to the
steersman in favor of the poor thing, as he called
it; the sails were instantly slackened, and all hands,
as the phrase is, employed to recover the poor animal.
I was, I own, extremely surprised at all this; less
indeed at the captain’s extreme tenderness than
at his conceiving any possibility of success; for
if puss had had nine thousand instead of nine lives,
I concluded they had been all lost. The boatswain,
however, had more sanguine hopes, for, having stripped
himself of his jacket, breeches, and shirt, he leaped
boldly into the water, and to my great astonishment
in a few minutes returned to the ship, bearing the
motionless animal in his mouth. Nor was this,
I observed, a matter of such great difficulty as it
appeared to my ignorance, and possibly may seem to
that of my fresh-water reader. The kitten was
now exposed to air and sun on the deck, where its
life, of which it retained no symptoms, was despaired
of by all.
The captain’s humanity, if I
may so call it, did not so totally destroy his philosophy
as to make him yield himself up to affliction on this
melancholy occasion. Having felt his loss like
a man, he resolved to show he could bear it like one;
and, having declared he had rather have lost a cask
of rum or brandy, betook himself to threshing at backgammon
with the Portuguese friar, in which innocent amusement
they had passed about two-thirds of their time.
But as I have, perhaps, a little too
wantonly endeavored to raise the tender passions of
my readers in this narrative, I should think myself
unpardonable if I concluded it without giving them
the satisfaction of hearing that the kitten at last
recovered, to the great joy of the good captain, but
to the great disappointment of some of the sailors,
who asserted that the drowning a cat was the very
surest way of raising a favorable wind; a supposition
of which, though we have heard several plausible accounts,
we will not presume to assign the true original reason.
Friday, July 12.-This day
our ladies went ashore at Ryde, and drank their afternoon
tea at an ale-house there with great satisfaction:
here they were regaled with fresh cream, to which
they had been strangers since they left the Downs.
Saturday, July 13.-The
wind seeming likely to continue in the same corner
where it had been almost constantly for two months
together, I was persuaded by my wife to go ashore
and stay at Ryde till we sailed. I approved the
motion much; for though I am a great lover of the sea,
I now fancied there was more pleasure in breathing
the fresh air of the land; but how to get thither
was the question; for, being really that dead luggage
which I considered all passengers to be in the beginning
of this narrative, and incapable of any bodily motion
without external impulse, it was in vain to leave
the ship, or to determine to do it, without the assistance
of others. In one instance, perhaps, the living,
luggage is more difficult to be moved or removed than
an equal or much superior weight of dead matter; which,
if of the brittle kind, may indeed be liable to be
broken through negligence; but this, by proper care,
may be almost certainly prevented; whereas the fractures
to which the living lumps are exposed are sometimes
by no caution avoidable, and often by no art to be
amended.
I was deliberating on the means of
conveyance, not so much out of the ship to the boat
as out of a little tottering boat to the land; a matter
which, as I had already experienced in the Thames,
was not extremely easy, when to be performed by any
other limbs than your own. Whilst I weighed all
that could suggest itself on this head, without strictly
examining the merit of the several schemes which were
advanced by the captain and sailors, and, indeed,
giving no very deep attention even to my wife, who,
as well as her friend and my daughter, were exerting
their tender concern for my ease and safety, Fortune,
for I am convinced she had a hand in it, sent me a
present of a buck; a present welcome enough of itself,
but more welcome on account of the vessel in which
it came, being a large hoy, which in some places would
pass for a ship, and many people would go some miles
to see the sight.
I was pretty easily conveyed on board
this hoy; but to get from hence to the shore was not
so easy a task; for, however strange it may appear,
the water itself did not extend so far; an instance
which seems to explain those lines of Ovid,
Omnia pontus
erant, deerant quoque littora ponto,
in a less tautological sense than
hath generally been imputed to them.
In fact, between the sea and the shore
there was, at low water, an impassable gulf, if I
may so call it, of deep mud, which could neither be
traversed by walking nor swimming; so that for near
one half of the twenty-four hours Ryde was inaccessible
by friend or foe. But as the magistrates of this
place seemed more to desire the company of the former
than to fear that of the latter, they had begun to
make a small causeway to the low-water mark, so that
foot passengers might land whenever they pleased;
but as this work was of a public kind, and would have
cost a large sum of money, at least ten pounds, and
the magistrates, that is to say, the churchwardens,
the overseers, constable, and tithingman, and the
principal inhabitants, had every one of them some
separate scheme of private interest to advance at the
expense of the public, they fell out among themselves;
and, after having thrown away one half of the requisite
sum, resolved at least to save the other half, and
rather be contented to sit down losers themselves than
to enjoy any benefit which might bring in a greater
profit to another. Thus that unanimity which
is so necessary in all public affairs became wanting,
and every man, from the fear of being a bubble to another,
was, in reality, a bubble to himself.
However, as there is scarce any difficulty
to which the strength of men, assisted with the cunning
of art, is not equal, I was at last hoisted into a
small boat, and being rowed pretty near the shore,
was taken up by two sailors, who waded with me through
the mud, and placed me in a chair on the land, whence
they afterwards conveyed me a quarter of a mile farther,
and brought me to a house which seemed to bid the fairest
for hospitality of any in Ryde.
We brought with us our provisions
from the ship, so that we wanted nothing but a fire
to dress our dinner, and a room in which we might eat
it. In neither of these had we any reason to apprehend
a disappointment, our dinner consisting only of beans
and bacon; and the worst apartment in his majesty’s
dominions, either at home or abroad, being fully sufficient
to answer our present ideas of delicacy.
Unluckily, however, we were disappointed
in both; for when we arrived about four at our inn,
exulting in the hopes of immediately seeing our beans
smoking on the table, we had the mortification of seeing
them on the table indeed, but without that circumstance
which would have made the sight agreeable, being in
the same state in which we had dispatched them from
our ship. In excuse for this delay, though we
had exceeded, almost purposely, the time appointed,
and our provision had arrived three hours before,
the mistress of the house acquainted us that it was
not for want of time to dress them that they were not
ready, but for fear of their being cold or over-done
before we should come; which she assured us was much
worse than waiting a few minutes for our dinner; an
observation so very just, that it is impossible to
find any objection in it; but, indeed, it was not
altogether so proper at this time, for we had given
the most absolute orders to have them ready at four,
and had been ourselves, not without much care and
difficulty, most exactly punctual in keeping to the
very minute of our appointment. But tradesmen,
inn-keepers, and servants, never care to indulge us
in matters contrary to our true interest, which they
always know better than ourselves; nor can any bribes
corrupt them to go out of their way while they are
consulting our good in our own despite.
Our disappointment in the other particular,
in defiance of our humility, as it was more extraordinary,
was more provoking. In short, Mrs. Francis (for
that was the name of the good woman of the house) no
sooner received the news of our intended arrival than
she considered more the gentility than the humanity
of her guests, and applied herself not to that which
kindles but to that which extinguishes fire, and, forgetting
to put on her pot, fell to washing her house.
As the messenger who had brought my
venison was impatient to be dispatched, I ordered
it to be brought and laid on the table in the room
where I was seated; and the table not being large enough,
one side, and that a very bloody one, was laid on
the brick floor. I then ordered Mrs. Francis
to be called in, in order to give her instructions
concerning it; in particular, what I would have roasted
and what baked; concluding that she would be highly
pleased with the prospect of so much money being spent
in her house as she might have now reason to expect,
if the wind continued only a few days longer to blow
from the same points whence it had blown for several
weeks past.
I soon saw good cause, I must confess,
to despise my own sagacity. Mrs. Francis, having
received her orders, without making any answer, snatched
the side from the floor, which remained stained with
blood, and, bidding a servant to take up that on the
table, left the room with no pleasant countenance,
muttering to herself that, “had she known the
litter which was to have been made, she would not
have taken such pains to wash her house that morning.
If this was gentility, much good may it do such gentlefolks;
for her part she had no notion of it.” From
these murmurs I received two hints. The one,
that it was not from a mistake of our inclination
that the good woman had starved us, but from wisely
consulting her own dignity, or rather perhaps her vanity,
to which our hunger was offered up as a sacrifice.
The other, that I was now sitting in a damp room,
a circumstance, though it had hitherto escaped my notice
from the color of the bricks, which was by no means
to be neglected in a valetudinary state.
My wife, who, besides discharging
excellently well her own and all the tender offices
becoming the female character; who, besides being
a faithful friend, an amiable companion, and a tender
nurse, could likewise supply the wants of a decrepit
husband, and occasionally perform his part, had, before
this, discovered the immoderate attention to neatness
in Mrs. Francis, and provided against its ill consequences.
She had found, though not under the same roof, a very
snug apartment belonging to Mr. Francis, and which
had escaped the mop by his wife’s being satisfied
it could not possibly be visited by gentle-folks.
This was a dry, warm, oaken-floored barn, lined on
both sides with wheaten straw, and opening at one
end into a green field and a beautiful prospect.
Here, without hesitation, she ordered the cloth to
be laid, and came hastily to snatch me from worse
perils by water than the common dangers of the sea.
Mrs. Francis, who could not trust
her own ears, or could not believe a footman in so
extraordinary a phenomenon, followed my wife, and asked
her if she had indeed ordered the cloth to be laid
in the barn? She answered in the affirmative;
upon which Mrs. Francis declared she would not dispute
her pleasure, but it was the first time she believed
that quality had ever preferred a barn to a house.
She showed at the same time the most pregnant marks
of contempt, and again lamented the labor she had
undergone, through her ignorance of the absurd taste
of her guests.
At length we were seated in one of
the most pleasant spots I believe in the kingdom,
and were regaled with our beans and bacon, in which
there was nothing deficient but the quantity.
This defect was however so deplorable that we had
consumed our whole dish before we had visibly lessened
our hunger. We now waited with impatience the
arrival of our second course, which necessity, and
not luxury, had dictated. This was a joint of
mutton which Mrs. Francis had been ordered to provide;
but when, being tired with expectation, we ordered
our servants to see for something
else, we were informed that there was nothing
else; on which Mrs. Francis, being summoned, declared
there was no such thing as mutton to be had at Ryde.
When I expressed some astonishment at their having
no butcher in a village so situated, she answered
they had a very good one, and one that killed all
sorts of meat in season, beef two or three times a
year, and mutton the whole year round; but that, it
being then beans and peas time, he killed no meat,
by reason he was not sure of selling it. This
she had not thought worthy of communication, any more
than that there lived a fisherman at next door, who
was then provided with plenty of soles, and whitings,
and lobsters, far superior to those which adorn a
city feast. This discovery being made by accident,
we completed the best, the pleasantest, and the merriest
meal, with more appetite, more real solid luxury,
and more festivity, than was ever seen in an entertainment
at White’s.
It may be wondered at, perhaps, that
Mrs. Francis should be so negligent of providing for
her guests, as she may seem to be thus inattentive
to her own interest; but this was not the case; for,
having clapped a poll-tax on our heads at our arrival,
and determined at what price to discharge our bodies
from her house, the less she suffered any other to
share in the levy the clearer it came into her own
pocket; and that it was better to get twelve pence
in a shilling than ten pence, which latter would be
the case if she afforded us fish at any rate.
Thus we passed a most agreeable day
owing to good appetites and good humor; two hearty
feeders which will devour with satisfaction whatever
food you place before them; whereas, without these,
the elegance of St. James’s, the charde, the
perigord-pie, or the ortolan, the venison, the turtle,
or the custard, may titillate the throat, but will
never convey happiness to the heart or cheerfulness
to the countenance.
As the wind appeared still immovable,
my wife proposed my lying on shore. I presently
agreed, though in defiance of an act of parliament,
by which persons wandering abroad and lodging in ale-houses
are decreed to be rogues and vagabonds; and this too
after having been very singularly officious in putting
that law in execution. My wife, having reconnoitered
the house, reported that there was one room in which
were two beds. It was concluded, therefore, that
she and Harriot should occupy one and myself take
possession of the other. She added likewise an
ingenious recommendation of this room to one who had
so long been in a cabin, which it exactly resembled,
as it was sunk down with age on one side, and was
in the form of a ship with gunwales too.
For my own part, I make little doubt
but this apartment was an ancient temple, built with
the materials of a wreck, and probably dedicated to
Neptune in honor of the blessing sent by
him to the inhabitants; such blessings having in all
ages been very common to them. The timber employed
in it confirms this opinion, being such as is seldom
used by ally but ship-builders. I do not find
indeed any mention of this matter in Hearn; but perhaps
its antiquity was too modern to deserve his notice.
Certain it is that this island of Wight was not an
early convert to Christianity; nay, there is some
reason to doubt whether it was ever entirely converted.
But I have only time to touch slightly on things of
this kind, which, luckily for us, we have a society
whose peculiar profession it is to discuss and develop.
Sunday, July 19.-This morning
early I summoned Mrs. Francis, in order to pay her
the preceding day’s account. As I could
recollect only two or three articles I thought there
was no necessity of pen and ink. In a single
instance only we had exceeded what the law allows gratis
to a foot-soldier on his march, viz., vinegar,
salt, etc., and dressing his meat. I found,
however, I was mistaken in my calculation; for when
the good woman attended with her bill it contained
as follows:-
L. s. d.
Bread and beer
0 2 4
Wind
0 2 0
Rum
0 2 0
Dressing dinner
0 3 0
Tea
0 1 6
Firing
0 1 0
Lodging
0 1 6
Servants' lodging
0 0 6
-
L 0 13 10
Now that five people and two servants
should live a day and night at a public-house for
so small a sum will appear incredible to any person
in London above the degree of a chimney-sweeper; but
more astonishing will it seem that these people should
remain so long at such a house without tasting any
other delicacy than bread, small beer, a teacupful
of milk called cream, a glass of rum converted into
punch by their own materials, and one bottle of wind,
of which we only tasted a single glass though possibly,
indeed, our servants drank the remainder of the bottle.
This wind is a liquor of English manufacture,
and its flavor is thought very delicious by the generality
of the English, who drink it in great quantities.
Every seventh year is thought to produce as much as
the other six. It is then drank so plentifully
that the whole nation are in a manner intoxicated
by it; and consequently very little business is carried
on at that season. It resembles in color the red
wine which is imported from Portugal, as it doth in
its intoxicating quality; hence, and from this agreement
in the orthography, the one is often confounded with
the other, though both are seldom esteemed by the same
person. It is to be had in every parish of the
kingdom, and a pretty large quantity is consumed in
the metropolis, where several taverns are set apart
solely for the vendition of this liquor, the masters
never dealing in any other. The disagreement
in our computation produced some small remonstrance
to Mrs. Francis on my side; but this received an immediate
answer: “She scorned to overcharge gentlemen;
her house had been always frequented by the very best
gentry of the island; and she had never had a bill
found fault with in her life, though she had lived
upwards of forty years in the house, and within that
time the greatest gentry in Hampshire had been at
it; and that lawyer Willis never went to any other
when he came to those parts. That for her part
she did not get her livelihood by travelers, who were
gone and away, and she never expected to see them
more, but that her neighbors might come again; wherefore,
to be sure, they had the only right to complain.”
She was proceeding thus, and from
her volubility of tongue seemed likely to stretch
the discourse to an immoderate length, when I suddenly
cut all short by paying the bill.
This morning our ladies went to church,
more, I fear, from curiosity than religion; they were
attended by the captain in a most military attire,
with his cockade in his hat and his sword by his side.
So unusual an appearance in this little chapel drew
the attention of all present, and probably disconcerted
the women, who were in dishabille, and wished themselves
dressed, for the sake of the curate, who was the greatest
of their beholders. While I was left alone I received
a visit from Mr. Francis himself, who was much more
considerable as a farmer than as an inn-holder.
Indeed, he left the latter entirely to the care of
his wife, and he acted wisely, I believe, in so doing.
As nothing more remarkable passed on this day I will
close it with the account of these two characters,
as far as a few days’ residence could inform
me of them. If they should appear as new to the
reader as they did to me, he will not be displeased
at finding them here. This amiable couple seemed
to border hard on their grand climacteric; nor indeed
were they shy of owning enough to fix their ages within
a year or two of that time. They appeared to
be rather proud of having employed their time well
than ashamed of having lived so long; the only reason
which I could ever assign why some fine ladies, and
fine gentlemen too, should desire to be thought younger
than they really are by the contemporaries of their
grandchildren. Some, indeed, who too hastily credit
appearances, might doubt whether they had made so
good a use of their time as I would insinuate, since
there was no appearance of anything but poverty, want,
and wretchedness, about their house; nor could they
produce anything to a customer in exchange for his
money but a few bottles of wind, and spirituous liquors,
and some very bad ale, to drink; with rusty bacon
and worse cheese to eat. But then it should be
considered, on the other side, that whatever they
received was almost as entirely clear profit as the
blessing of a wreck itself; such an inn being the very
reverse of a coffee-house; for here you can neither
sit for nothing nor have anything for your money.
Again, as many marks of want abounded
everywhere, so were the marks of antiquity visible.
Scarce anything was to be seen which had not some
scar upon it, made by the hand of Time; not an utensil,
it was manifest, had been purchased within a dozen
years last past; so that whatever money had come into
the house during that period at least must have remained
in it, unless it had been sent abroad for food, or
other perishable commodities; but these were supplied
by a small portion of the fruits of the farm, in which
the farmer allowed he had a very good bargain.
In fact, it is inconceivable what sums may be collected
by starving only, and how easy it is for a man to
die rich if he will but be contented to live miserable.
Nor is there in this kind of starving
anything so terrible as some apprehend. It neither
wastes a man’s flesh nor robs him of his cheerfulness.
The famous Cornaro’s case well proves the contrary;
and so did farmer Francis, who was of a round stature,
had a plump, round face, with a kind of smile on it,
and seemed to borrow an air of wretchedness rather
from his coat’s age than from his own.
The truth is, there is a certain diet
which emaciates men more than any possible degree
of abstinence; though I do not remember to have seen
any caution against it, either in Cheney, Arbuthnot,
or in any other modern writer or regimen.
Nay, the very name is not, I believe,
in the learned Dr. James’s Dictionary; all which
is the more extraordinary as it is a very common food
in this kingdom, and the college themselves were not
long since very liberally entertained with it by the
present attorney and other eminent lawyers in Lincoln’s-inn-hall,
and were all made horribly sick by it.
But though it should not be found
among our English physical writers, we may be assured
of meeting with it among the Greeks; for nothing considerable
in nature escapes their notice, though many things
considerable in them, it is to be feared, have escaped
the notice of their readers. The Greeks, then,
to all such as feed too voraciously on this diet,
give the name of Heautofagi, which our physicians
will, I suppose, translate men that eat
themselves.
As nothing is so destructive to the
body as this kind of food, so nothing is so plentiful
and cheap; but it was perhaps the only cheap thing
the farmer disliked. Probably living much on fish
might produce this disgust; for Diodorus Siculus
attributes the same aversion in a people of Ethiopia
to the same cause; he calls them the fish-eaters,
and asserts that they cannot be brought to eat a single
meal with the Heautofagi by any persuasion, threat,
or violence whatever, not even though they should
kill their children before their faces.
What hath puzzled our physicians,
and prevented them from setting this matter in the
clearest light, is possibly one simple mistake, arising
from a very excusable ignorance; that the passions
of men are capable of swallowing food as well as their
appetites; that the former, in feeding, resemble the
state of those animals who chew the cud; and therefore,
such men, in some sense, may be said to prey on themselves,
and as it were to devour their own entrails.
And hence ensues a meager aspect and thin habit of
body, as surely as from what is called a consumption.
Our farmer was one of these. He had no more passion
than an Ichthuofagus or Ethiopian fisher. He
wished not for anything, thought not of anything;
indeed, he scarce did anything or said anything.
Here I cannot be understood strictly; for then I must
describe a nonentity, whereas I would rob him of nothing
but that free agency which is the cause of all the
corruption and of all the misery of human nature.
No man, indeed, ever did more than the farmer, for
he was an absolute slave to labor all the week; but
in truth, as my sagacious reader must have at first
apprehended, when I said he resigned the care of the
house to his wife, I meant more than I then expressed,
even the house and all that belonged to it; for he
was really a farmer only under the direction of his
wife. In a word, so composed, so serene, so placid
a countenance, I never saw; and he satisfied himself
by answering to every question he was asked, “I
don’t know anything about it, sir; I leaves all
that to my wife.”
Now, as a couple of this kind would,
like two vessels of oil, have made no composition
in life, and for want of all savor must have palled
every taste; nature or fortune, or both of them, took
care to provide a proper quantity of acid in the materials
that formed the wife, and to render her a perfect
helpmate for so tranquil a husband. She abounded
in whatsoever he was defective; that is to say, in
almost everything. She was indeed as vinegar
to oil, or a brisk wind to a standing-pool, and preserved
all from stagnation and corruption.
Quin the player, on taking a nice
and severe survey of a fellow-comedian, burst forth
into this exclamation:-“If that fellow
be not a rogue, God Almighty doth not write a legible
hand.”
Whether he guessed right or no is
not worth my while to examine; certain it is that
the latter, having wrought his features into a proper
harmony to become the characters of Iago, Shylock,
and others of the same cast, gave us a semblance of
truth to the observation that was sufficient to confirm
the wit of it. Indeed, we may remark, in favor
of the physiognomist, though the law has made him
a rogue and vagabond, that Nature is seldom curious
in her works within, without employing some little
pains on the outside; and this more particularly in
mischievous characters, in forming which, as Mr. Derham
observes, in venomous insects, as the sting or saw
of a wasp, she is sometimes wonderfully industrious.
Now, when she hath thus completely armed our hero to
carry on a war with man, she never fails of furnishing
that innocent lambkin with some means of knowing his
enemy, and foreseeing his designs. Thus she hath
been observed to act in the case of a rattlesnake,
which never meditates a human prey without giving
warning of his approach. This observation will,
I am convinced, hold most true, if applied to the
most venomous individuals of human insects. A
tyrant, a trickster, and a bully, generally wear the
marks of their several dispositions in their countenances;
so do the vixen, the shrew, the scold, and all other
females of the like kind. But, perhaps, nature
hath never afforded a stronger example of all this
than in the case of Mrs. Francis. She was a short,
squat woman; her head was closely joined to her shoulders,
where it was fixed somewhat awry; every feature of
her countenance was sharp and pointed; her face was
furrowed with the smallpox; and her complexion, which
seemed to be able to turn milk to curds, not a little
resembled in color such milk as had already undergone
that operation. She appeared, indeed, to have
many symptoms of a deep jaundice in her look; but
the strength and firmness of her voice overbalanced
them all; the tone of this was a sharp treble at a
distance, for I seldom heard it on the same floor,
but was usually waked with it in the morning, and
entertained with it almost continually through the
whole day.
Though vocal be usually put in opposition
to instrumental music, I question whether this might
not be thought to partake of the nature of both; for
she played on two instruments, which she seemed to
keep for no other use from morning till night; these
were two maids, or rather scolding-stocks, who, I
suppose, by some means or other, earned their board,
and she gave them their lodging gratis, or for no other
service than to keep her lungs in constant exercise.
She differed, as I have said, in every
particular from her husband; but very remarkably in
this, that, as it was impossible to displease him,
so it was as impossible to please her; and as no art
could remove a smile from his countenance, so could
no art carry it into hers. If her bills were
remonstrated against she was offended with the tacit
censure of her fair-dealing; if they were not, she
seemed to regard it as a tacit sarcasm on her folly,
which might have set down larger prices with the same
success. On this lather hint she did indeed improve,
for she daily raised some of her articles. A
pennyworth of fire was to-day rated at a shilling,
to-morrow at eighteen-pence; and if she dressed us
two dishes for two shillings on the Saturday, we paid
half-a-crown for the cookery of one on the Sunday;
and, whenever she was paid, she never left the room
without lamenting the small amount of her bill, saying,
“she knew not how it was that others got their
money by gentle-folks, but for her part she had not
the art of it.” When she was asked why she
complained, when she was paid all she demanded, she
answered, “she could not deny that, nor did
she know she had omitted anything; but that it was
but a poor bill for gentle-folks to pay.”
I accounted for all this by her having heard, that
it is a maxim with the principal inn-holders on the
continent, to levy considerable sums on their guests,
who travel with many horses and servants, though such
guests should eat little or nothing in their houses;
the method being, I believe, in such cases, to lay
a capitation on the horses, and not on their masters.
But she did not consider that in most of these inns
a very great degree of hunger, without any degree
of delicacy, may be satisfied; and that in all such
inns there is some appearance, at least, of provision,
as well as of a man-cook to dress it, one of the hostlers
being always furnished with a cook’s cap, waistcoat,
and apron, ready to attend gentlemen and ladies on
their summons; that the case therefore of such inns
differed from hers, where there was nothing to eat
or to drink, and in reality no house to inhabit, no
chair to sit upon, nor any bed to lie in; that one
third or fourth part therefore of the levy imposed
at inns was, in truth, a higher tax than the whole
was when laid on in the other, where, in order to
raise a small sum, a man is obliged to submit to pay
as many various ways for the same thing as he doth
to the government for the light which enters through
his own window into his own house, from his own estate;
such are the articles of bread and beer, firing, eating
and dressing dinner.
The foregoing is a very imperfect
sketch of this extraordinary couple; for everything
is here lowered instead of being heightened. Those
who would see them set forth in more lively colors,
and with the proper ornaments, may read the descriptions
of the Furies in some of the classical poets, or of
the Stoic philosophers in the works of Lucian.
Monday, July 20.-This day
nothing remarkable passed; Mrs. Francis levied a tax
of fourteen shillings for the Sunday. We regaled
ourselves at dinner with venison and good claret of
our own; and in the afternoon, the women, attended
by the captain, walked to see a delightful scene two
miles distant, with the beauties of which they declared
themselves most highly charmed at their return, as
well as with the goodness of the lady of the mansion,
who had slipped out of the way that my wife and their
company might refresh themselves with the flowers and
fruits with which her garden abounded.
Tuesday, July 21.-This
day, having paid our taxes of yesterday, we were permitted
to regale ourselves with more venison. Some of
this we would willingly have exchanged for mutton;
but no such flesh was to be had nearer than Portsmouth,
from whence it would have cost more to convey a joint
to us than the freight of a Portugal ham from Lisbon
to London amounts to; for though the water-carriage
be somewhat cheaper here than at Deal, yet can you
find no waterman who will go on board his boat, unless
by two or three hours’ rowing he can get drunk
for the residue of the week.
And here I have an opportunity, which
possibly may not offer again, of publishing some observations
on that political economy of this nation, which, as
it concerns only the regulation of the mob, is below
the notice of our great men; though on the due regulation
of this order depend many emoluments, which the great
men themselves, or at least many who tread close on
their heels, may enjoy, as well as some dangers which
may some time or other arise from introducing a pure
state of anarchy among them. I will represent
the case, as it appears to me, very fairly and impartially
between the mob and their betters. The whole mischief
which infects this part of our economy arises from
the vague and uncertain use of a word called liberty,
of which, as scarce any two men with whom I have ever
conversed seem to have one and the same idea, I am
inclined to doubt whether there be any simple universal
notion represented by this word, or whether it conveys
any clearer or more determinate idea than some of
those old Punic compositions of syllables preserved
in one of the comedies of Plautus, but at present,
as I conceive, not supposed to be understood by any
one.
By liberty, however, I apprehend,
is commonly understood the power of doing what we
please; not absolutely, for then it would be inconsistent
with law, by whose control the liberty of the freest
people, except only the Hottentots and wild Indians,
must always be restrained.
But, indeed, however largely we extend,
or however moderately we confine, the sense of the
word, no politician will, I presume, contend that
it is to pervade in an equal degree, and be, with the
same extent, enjoyed by, every member of society;
no such polity having been ever found, unless among
those vile people just before commemorated. Among
the Greeks and Romans the servile and free conditions
were opposed to each other; and no man who had the
misfortune to be enrolled under the former could lay
any claim to liberty till the right was conveyed to
him by that master whose slave he was, either by the
means of conquest, of purchase, or of birth.
This was the state of all the free
nations in the world; and this, till very lately,
was understood to be the case of our own.
I will not indeed say this is the
case at present, the lowest class of our people having
shaken off all the shackles of their superiors, and
become not only as free, but even freer, than most
of their superiors. I believe it cannot be doubted,
though perhaps we have no recent instance of it, that
the personal attendance of every man who hath three
hundred pounds per annum, in parliament, is indispensably
his duty; and that, if the citizens and burgesses
of any city or borough shall choose such a one, however
reluctant he appear, he may be obliged to attend, and
be forcibly brought to his duty by the sergeant-at-arms.
Again, there are numbers of subordinate
offices, some of which are of burden, and others of
expense, in the civil government-all of
which persons who are qualified are liable to have
imposed on them, may be obliged to undertake and properly
execute, notwithstanding any bodily labor, or even
danger, to which they may subject themselves, under
the penalty of fines and imprisonment; nay, and what
may appear somewhat hard, may be compelled to satisfy
the losses which are eventually incident, to that
of sheriff in particular, out of their own private
fortunes; and though this should prove the ruin of
a family, yet the public, to whom the price is due,
incurs no debt or obligation to preserve its officer
harmless, let his innocence appear ever so clearly.
I purposely omit the mention of those military or military
duties which our old constitution laid upon its greatest
members. These might, indeed, supply their posts
with some other able-bodied men; but if no such could
have been found, the obligation nevertheless remained,
and they were compellable to serve in their own proper
persons. The only one, therefore, who is possessed
of absolute liberty is the lowest member of the society,
who, if he prefers hunger, or the wild product of
the fields, hedges, lanes, and rivers, with the indulgence
of ease and laziness, to a food a little more delicate,
but purchased at the expense of labor, may lay himself
under a shade; nor can be forced to take the other
alternative from that which he hath, I will not affirm
whether wisely or foolishly, chosen.
Here I may, perhaps, be reminded of
the last Vagrant Act, where all such persons are compellable
to work for the usual and accustomed wages allowed
in the place; but this is a clause little known to
the justices of the peace, and least likely to be
executed by those who do know it, as they know likewise
that it is formed on the ancient power of the justices
to fix and settle these wages every year, making proper
allowances for the scarcity and plenty of the times,
the cheapness and dearness of the place; and that
the usual and accustomed wages
are words without any force or meaning, when there
are no such; but every man spunges and raps whatever
he can get; and will haggle as long and struggle as
hard to cheat his employer of twopence in a day’s
labor as an honest tradesman will to cheat his customers
of the same sum in a yard of cloth or silk.
It is a great pity then that this
power, or rather this practice, was not revived; but,
this having been so long omitted that it is become
obsolete, will be best done by a new law, in which
this power, as well as the consequent power of forcing
the poor to labor at a moderate and reasonable rate,
should be well considered and their execution facilitated;
for gentlemen who give their time and labor gratis,
and even voluntarily, to the public, have a right
to expect that all their business be made as easy
as possible; and to enact laws without doing this
is to fill our statute-books, much too full already,
still fuller with dead letter, of no use but to the
printer of the acts of parliament. That the evil
which I have here pointed at is of itself worth redressing,
is, I apprehend, no subject of dispute; for why should
any persons in distress be deprived of the assistance
of their fellow-subjects, when they are willing amply
to reward them for their labor? or, why should the
lowest of the people be permitted to exact ten times
the value of their work? For those exactions increase
with the degrees of necessity in their object, insomuch
that on the former side many are horribly imposed
upon, and that often in no trifling matters.
I was very well assured that at Deal no less than ten
guineas was required, and paid by the supercargo of
an Indiaman, for carrying him on board two miles from
the shore when she was just ready to sail; so that
his necessity, as his pillager well understood, was
absolute. Again, many others, whose indignation
will not submit to such plunder, are forced to refuse
the assistance, though they are often great sufferers
by so doing. On the latter side, the lowest of
the people are encouraged in laziness and idleness;
while they live by a twentieth part of the labor that
ought to maintain them, which is diametrically opposite
to the interest of the public; for that requires a
great deal to be done, not to be paid, for a little.
And moreover, they are confirmed in habits of exaction,
and are taught to consider the distresses of their
superiors as their own fair emolument. But enough
of this matter, of which I at first intended only
to convey a hint to those who are alone capable of
applying the remedy, though they are the last to whom
the notice of those evils would occur, without some
such monitor as myself, who am forced to travel about
the world in the form of a passenger. I cannot
but say I heartily wish our governors would attentively
consider this method of fixing the price of labor,
and by that means of compelling the poor to work,
since the due execution of such powers will, I apprehend,
be found the true and only means of making them useful,
and of advancing trade from its present visibly declining
state to the height to which Sir William Petty, in
his Political Arithmetic, thinks it capable of being
carried.
In the afternoon the lady of the above-mentioned
mansion called at our inn, and left her compliments
to us with Mrs. Francis, with an assurance that while
we continued wind-bound in that place, where she feared
we could be but indifferently accommodated, we were
extremely welcome to the use of anything which her
garden or her house afforded. So polite a message
convinced us, in spite of some arguments to the contrary,
that we were not on the coast of Africa, or on some
island where the few savage inhabitants have little
of human in them besides their form. And here
I mean nothing less than to derogate from the merit
of this lady, who is not only extremely polite in
her behavior to strangers of her own rank, but so
extremely good and charitable to all her poor neighbors
who stand in need of her assistance, that she hath
the universal love and praises of all who live near
her. But, in reality, how little doth the acquisition
of so valuable a character, and the full indulgence
of so worthy a disposition, cost those who possess
it! Both are accomplished by the very offals
which fall from a table moderately plentiful.
That they are enjoyed therefore by so few arises truly
from there being so few who have any such disposition
to gratify, or who aim at any such character.
Wednesday, July 22.-This
morning, after having been mulcted as usual, we dispatched
a servant with proper acknowledgments of the lady’s
goodness; but confined our wants entirely to the productions
of her garden. He soon returned, in company with
the gardener, both richly laden with almost every
particular which a garden at this most fruitful season
of the year produces. While we were regaling ourselves
with these, towards the close of our dinner, we received
orders from our commander, who had dined that day
with some inferior officers on board a man-of-war,
to return instantly to the ship; for that the wind
was become favorable and he should weigh that evening.
These orders were soon followed by the captain himself,
who was still in the utmost hurry, though the occasion
of it had long since ceased; for the wind had, indeed,
a little shifted that afternoon, but was before this
very quietly set down in its old quarters.
This last was a lucky hit for me;
for, as the captain, to whose orders we resolved to
pay no obedience, unless delivered by himself, did
not return till past six, so much time seemed requisite
to put up the furniture of our bed-chamber or dining-room,
for almost every article, even to some of the chairs,
were either our own or the captain’s property;
so much more in conveying it as well as myself, as
dead a luggage as any, to the shore, and thence to
the ship, that the night threatened first to overtake
us. A terrible circumstance to me, in my decayed
condition; especially as very heavy showers of rain,
attended with a high wind, continued to fall incessantly;
the being carried through which two miles in the dark,
in a wet and open boat, seemed little less than certain
death. However, as my commander was absolute,
his orders peremptory, and my obedience necessary,
I resolved to avail myself of a philosophy which hath
been of notable use to me in the latter part of my
life, and which is contained in this hemistich of
Virgil:-
-Superanda
omnis fortuna ferendo est.
The meaning of which, if Virgil had
any, I think I rightly understood, and rightly applied.
As I was therefore to be entirely passive in my motion,
I resolved to abandon myself to the conduct of those
who were to carry me into a cart when it returned
from unloading the goods.
But before this, the captain, perceiving
what had happened in the clouds, and that the wind
remained as much his enemy as ever, came upstairs
to me with a reprieve till the morning. This was,
I own, very agreeable news, and I little regretted
the trouble of refurnishing my apartment, by sending
back for the goods.
Mrs. Francis was not well pleased with this.
As she understood the reprieve to
be only till the morning, she saw nothing but lodging
to be possibly added, out of which she was to deduct
fire and candle, and the remainder, she thought, would
scarce pay her for her trouble. She exerted therefore
all the ill-humor of which she was mistress, and did
all she could to thwart and perplex everything during
the whole evening.
Thursday, July 23.-Early
in the morning the captain, who had remained on shore
all night, came to visit us, and to press us to make
haste on board. “I am resolved,”
says he, “not to lose a moment now the wind is
coming about fair: for my own part, I never was
surer of a wind in all my life.” I use
his very words; nor will I presume to interpret or
comment upon them farther than by observing that they
were spoke in the utmost hurry.
We promised to be ready as soon as
breakfast was over, but this was not so soon as was
expected; for, in removing our goods the evening before,
the tea-chest was unhappily lost. Every place
was immediately searched, and many where it was impossible
for it to be; for this was a loss of much greater
consequence than it may at first seem to many of my
readers. Ladies and valetudinarians do not easily
dispense with the use of this sovereign cordial in
a single instance; but to undertake a long voyage,
without any probability of being supplied with it the
whole way, was above the reach of patience. And
yet, dreadful as this calamity was, it seemed unavoidable.
The whole town of Ryde could not supply a single leaf;
for, as to what Mrs. Francis and the shop called by
that name, it was not of Chinese growth. It did
not indeed in the least resemble tea, either in smell
or taste, or in any particular, unless in being a leaf;
for it was in truth no other than a tobacco of the
mundungus species. And as for the hopes of relief
in any other port, they were not to be depended upon,
for the captain had positively declared he was sure
of a wind, and would let go his anchor no more till
he arrived in the Tajo.
When a good deal of time had been
spent, most of it indeed wasted on this occasion,
a thought occurred which every one wondered at its
not having presented itself the first moment.
This was to apply to the good lady, who could not
fail of pitying and relieving such distress. A
messenger was immediately despatched with an account
of our misfortune, till whose return we employed ourselves
in preparatives for our departure, that we might have
nothing to do but to swallow our breakfast when it
arrived. The tea-chest, though of no less consequence
to us than the military-chest to a general, was given
up as lost, or rather as stolen, for though I would
not, for the world, mention any particular name, it
is certain we had suspicions, and all, I am afraid,
fell on the same person.
The man returned from the worthy lady
with much expedition, and brought with him a canister
of tea, despatched with so true a generosity, as well
as politeness, that if our voyage had been as long
again we should have incurred no danger of being brought
to a short allowance in this most important article.
At the very same instant likewise arrived William
the footman with our own tea-chest. It had been,
indeed, left in the hoy, when the other goods were
re-landed, as William, when he first heard it was
missing, had suspected; and whence, had not the owner
of the hoy been unluckily out of the way, he had retrieved
it soon enough to have prevented our giving the lady
an opportunity of displaying some part of her goodness.
To search the hoy was, indeed, too natural a suggestion
to have escaped any one, nor did it escape being mentioned
by many of us; but we were dissuaded from it by my
wife’s maid, who perfectly well remembered she
had left the chest in the bed-chamber; for that she
had never given it out of her hand in her way to or
from the hoy; but William perhaps knew the maid better,
and best understood how far she was to be believed;
for otherwise he would hardly of his own accord, after
hearing her declaration, have hunted out the hoy-man,
with much pains and difficulty. Thus ended this
scene, which began with such appearance of distress,
and ended with becoming the subject of mirth and laughter.
Nothing now remained but to pay our taxes, which were
indeed laid with inconceivable severity. Lodging
was raised sixpence, fire in the same proportion,
and even candles, which had hitherto escaped, were
charged with a wantonness of imposition, from the beginning,
and placed under the style of oversight. We were
raised a whole pound, whereas we had only burned ten,
in five nights, and the pound consisted of twenty-four.
Lastly, an attempt was made which
almost as far exceeds human credulity to believe as
it did human patience to submit to. This was to
make us pay as much for existing an hour or two as
for existing a whole day; and dressing dinner was
introduced as an article, though we left the house
before either pot or spit had approached the fire.
Here I own my patience failed me, and I became an
example of the truth of the observation, “That
all tyranny and oppression may be carried too far,
and that a yoke may be made too intolerable for the
neck of the tamest slave.” When I remonstrated,
with some warmth, against this grievance, Mrs. Francis
gave me a look, and left the room without making any
answer. She returned in a minute, running to me
with pen, ink, and paper, in her hand, and desired
me to make my own bill; “for she hoped,”
she said “I did not expect that her house was
to be dirtied, and her goods spoiled and consumed
for nothing. The whole is but thirteen shillings.
Can gentlefolks lie a whole night at a public-house
for less? If they can I am sure it is time to
give off being a landlady: but pay me what you
please; I would have people know that I value money
as little as other folks. But I was always a
fool, as I says to my husband, and never knows which
side my bread is buttered of. And yet, to be sure,
your honor shall be my warning not to be bit so again.
Some folks knows better than other some how to make
their bills. Candles! why yes, to be sure; why
should not travelers pay for candles? I am sure
I pays for my candles, and the chandler pays the king’s
majesty for them; and if he did not I must, so as
it comes to the same thing in the end. To be sure
I am out of sixteens at present, but these burn as
white and as clear, though not quite so large.
I expects my chandler here soon, or I would send to
Portsmouth, if your honor was to stay any time longer.
But when folks stays only for a wind, you knows there
can be no dependence on such!” Here she put
on a little slyness of aspect, and seemed willing to
submit to interruption. I interrupted her accordingly
by throwing down half a guinea, and declared I had
no more English money, which was indeed true; and,
as she could not immediately change the thirty-six
shilling pieces, it put a final end to the dispute.
Mrs. Francis soon left the room, and we soon after
left the house; nor would this good woman see us or
wish us a good voyage. I must not, however, quit
this place, where we had been so ill-treated, without
doing it impartial justice, and recording what may,
with the strictest truth, be said in its favor.
First, then, as to its situation,
it is, I think, most delightful, and in the most pleasant
spot in the whole island. It is true it wants
the advantage of that beautiful river which leads
from Newport to Cowes; but the prospect here extending
to the sea, and taking in Portsmouth, Spithead, and
St. Helen’s, would be more than a recompense
for the loss of the Thames itself, even in the most
delightful part of Berkshire or Buckinghamshire, though
another Denham, or another Pope, should unite in celebrating
it. For my own part, I confess myself so entirely
fond of a sea prospect, that I think nothing on the
land can equal it; and if it be set off with shipping,
I desire to borrow no ornament from the terra
firma. A fleet of ships is, in my opinion, the
noblest object which the art of man hath ever produced;
and far beyond the power of those architects who deal
in brick, in stone, or in marble.
When the late Sir Robert Walpole,
one of the best of men and of ministers, used to equip
us a yearly fleet at Spithead, his enemies of taste
must have allowed that he, at least, treated the nation
with a fine sight for their money. A much finer,
indeed, than the same expense in an encampment could
have produced. For what indeed is the best idea
which the prospect of a number of huts can furnish
to the mind, but of a number of men forming themselves
into a society before the art of building more substantial
houses was known? This, perhaps, would be agreeable
enough; but, in truth, there is a much worse idea ready
to step in before it, and that is of a body of cut-throats,
the supports of tyranny, the invaders of the just
liberties and properties of mankind, the plunderers
of the industrious, the ravishers of the chaste, the
murderers of the innocent, and, in a word, the destroyers
of the plenty, the peace, and the safety, of their
fellow-creatures.
And what, it may be said, are these
men-of-war which seem so delightful an object to our
eyes? Are they not alike the support of tyranny
and oppression of innocence, carrying with them desolation
and ruin wherever their masters please to send them?
This is indeed too true; and however the ship of war
may, in its bulk and equipment, exceed the honest
merchantman, I heartily wish there was no necessity
for it; for, though I must own the superior beauty
of the object on one side, I am more pleased with
the superior excellence of the idea which I can raise
in my mind on the other, while I reflect on the art
and industry of mankind engaged in the daily improvements
of commerce to the mutual benefit of all countries,
and to the establishment and happiness of social life.
This pleasant village is situated on a gentle ascent
from the water, whence it affords that charming prospect
I have above described. Its soil is a gravel,
which, assisted with its declivity, preserves it always
so dry that immediately after the most violent rain
a fine lady may walk without wetting her silken shoes.
The fertility of the place is apparent from its extraordinary
verdure, and it is so shaded with large and flourishing
elms, that its narrow lanes are a natural grove or
walk, which, in the regularity of its plantation,
vies with the power of art, and in its wanton exuberancy
greatly exceeds it.
In a field in the ascent of this hill,
about a quarter of a mile from the sea, stands a neat
little chapel. It is very small, but adequate
to the number of inhabitants; for the parish doth
not seem to contain above thirty houses.
At about two miles distant from this
parish lives that polite and good lady to whose kindness
we were so much obliged. It is placed on a hill
whose bottom is washed by the sea, and which from its
eminence at top, commands a view of great part of
the island as well as it does that of the opposite
shore. This house was formerly built by one Boyce,
who, from a blacksmith at Gosport, became possessed,
by great success in smuggling, of forty thousand pound.
With part of this he purchased an estate here, and,
by chance probably, fixed on this spot for building
a large house. Perhaps the convenience of carrying
on his business, to which it is so well adapted, might
dictate the situation to him. We can hardly,
at least, attribute it to the same taste with which
he furnished his house, or at least his library, by
sending an order to a bookseller in London to pack
him up five hundred pounds’ worth of his handsomest
books. They tell here several almost incredible
stories of the ignorance, the folly, and the pride,
which this poor man and his wife discovered during
the short continuance of his prosperity; for he did
not long escape the sharp eyes of the revenue solicitors,
and was, by extents from the court of Exchequer, soon
reduced below his original state to that of confinement
in the Fleet. All his effects were sold, and
among the rest his books, by an auction at Portsmouth,
for a very small price; for the bookseller was now
discovered to have been perfectly a master of his
trade, and, relying on Mr. Boyce’s finding little
time to read, had sent him not only the most lasting
wares of his shop, but duplicates of the same, under
different titles.
His estate and house were purchased
by a gentleman of these parts, whose widow now enjoys
them, and who hath improved them, particularly her
gardens, with so elegant a taste, that the painter
who would assist his imagination in the composition
of a most exquisite landscape, or the poet who would
describe an earthly paradise, could nowhere furnish
themselves with a richer pattern.
We left this place about eleven in
the morning, and were again conveyed, with more sunshine
than wind, aboard our ship.
Whence our captain had acquired his
power of prophecy, when he promised us and himself
a prosperous wind, I will not determine; it is sufficient
to observe that he was a false prophet, and that the
weathercocks continued to point as before. He
would not, however, so easily give up his skill in
prediction. He persevered in asserting that the
wind was changed, and, having weighed his anchor,
fell down that afternoon to St. Helen’s, which
was at about the distance of five miles; and whither
his friend the tide, in defiance of the wind, which
was most manifestly against him, softly wafted him
in as many hours.
Here, about seven in the evening,
before which time we could not procure it, we sat
down to regale ourselves with some roasted venison,
which was much better dressed than we imagined it
would be, and an excellent cold pasty which my wife
had made at Ryde, and which we had reserved uncut
to eat on board our ship, whither we all cheerfully
exulted in being returned from the presence of Mrs.
Francis, who, by the exact resemblance she bore to
a fury, seemed to have been with no great propriety
settled in paradise.
Friday, July 24.-As we
passed by Spithead on the preceding evening we saw
the two regiments of soldiers who were just returned
from Gibraltar and Minorca; and this day a lieutenant
belonging to one of them, who was the captain’s
nephew, came to pay a visit to his uncle. He was
what is called by some a very pretty fellow; indeed,
much too pretty a fellow at his years; for he was
turned of thirty-four, though his address and conversation
would have become him more before he had reached twenty.
In his conversation, it is true, there was something
military enough, as it consisted chiefly of oaths,
and of the great actions and wise sayings of Jack,
and Will, and Tom of our regiment, a phrase eternally
in his mouth; and he seemed to conclude that it conveyed
to all the officers such a degree of public notoriety
and importance that it entitled him like the head
of a profession, or a first minister, to be the subject
of conversation among those who had not the least personal
acquaintance with him. This did not much surprise
me, as I have seen several examples of the same; but
the defects in his address, especially to the women,
were so great that they seemed absolutely inconsistent
with the behavior of a pretty fellow, much less of
one in a red coat; and yet, besides having been eleven
years in the army, he had had, as his uncle informed
me, an education in France. This, I own, would
have appeared to have been absolutely thrown away
had not his animal spirits, which were likewise thrown
away upon him in great abundance, borne the visible
stamp of the growth of that country. The character
to which he had an indisputable title was that of
a merry fellow; so very merry was he that he laughed
at everything he said, and always before he spoke.
Possibly, indeed, he often laughed at what he did
not utter, for every speech begun with a laugh, though
it did not always end with a jest. There was
no great analogy between the characters of the uncle
and the nephew, and yet they seemed entirely to agree
in enjoying the honor which the red-coat did to his
family. This the uncle expressed with great pleasure
in his countenance, and seemed desirous of showing
all present the honor which he had for his nephew,
who, on his side, was at some pains to convince us
of his concurring in this opinion, and at the same
time of displaying the contempt he had for the parts,
as well as the occupation of his uncle, which he seemed
to think reflected some disgrace on himself, who was
a member of that profession which makes every man a
gentleman. Not that I would be understood to insinuate
that the nephew endeavored to shake off or disown
his uncle, or indeed to keep him at any distance.
On the contrary, he treated him with the utmost familiarity,
often calling him Dick, and dear Dick, and old Dick,
and frequently beginning an oration with D-n
me, Dick.
All this condescension on the part
of the young man was received with suitable marks
of complaisance and obligation by the old one; especially
when it was attended with evidences of the same familiarity
with general officers and other persons of rank; one
of whom, in particular, I know to have the pride and
insolence of the devil himself, and who, without some
strong bias of interest, is no more liable to converse
familiarly with a lieutenant than of being mistaken
in his judgment of a fool; which was not, perhaps,
so certainly the case of the worthy lieutenant, who,
in declaring to us the qualifications which recommended
men to his countenance and conversation, as well as
what effectually set a bar to all hopes of that honor,
exclaimed, “No, sir, by the d- I hate
all fools- No, d-n me, excuse
me for that. That’s a little too much, old
Dick. There are two or three officers of our regiment
whom I know to be fools; but d-n me if
I am ever seen in their company. If a man hath
a fool of a relation, Dick, you know he can’t
help that, old boy.” Such jokes as these
the old man not only tools in good part, but glibly
gulped down the whole narrative of his nephew; nor
did he, I am convinced, in the least doubt of our
as readily swallowing the same. This made him
so charmed with the lieutenant, that it is probable
we should have been pestered with him the whole evening,
had not the north wind, dearer to our sea-captain
even than this glory of his family, sprung suddenly
up, and called aloud to him to weigh his anchor.
While this ceremony was performing, the sea-captain
ordered out his boat to row the land-captain to shore;
not indeed on an uninhabited island, but one which,
in this part, looked but little better, not presenting
us the view of a single house. Indeed, our old
friend, when his boat returned on shore, perhaps being
no longer able to stifle his envy of the superiority
of his nephew, told us with a smile that the young
man had a good five mile to walk before he could be
accommodated with a passage to Portsmouth.
It appeared now that the captain had
been only mistaken in the date of his prediction,
by placing the event a day earlier than it happened;
for the wind which now arose was not only favorable
but brisk, and was no sooner in reach of our sails
than it swept us away by the back of the Isle of Wight,
and, having in the night carried us by Christchurch
and Peveral-point, brought us the next noon, Saturday,
July 25, oft the island of Portland, so famous for
the smallness and sweetness of its mutton, of which
a leg seldom weighs four pounds. We would have
bought a sheep, but our captain would not permit it;
though he needed not have been in such a hurry, for
presently the wind, I will not positively assert in
resentment of his surliness, showed him a dog’s
trick, and slyly slipped back again to his summer-house
in the south-west.
The captain now grew outrageous, and,
declaring open war with the wind, took a resolution,
rather more bold than wise, of sailing in defiance
of it, and in its teeth. He swore he would let
go his anchor no more, but would beat the sea while
he had either yard or sail left. He accordingly
stood from the shore, and made so large a tack that
before night, though he seemed to advance but little
on his way, he was got out of sight of land.
Towards evening the wind began, in
the captain’s own language, and indeed it freshened
so much, that before ten it blew a perfect hurricane.
The captain having got, as he supposed, to a safe distance,
tacked again towards the English shore; and now the
wind veered a point only in his favor, and continued
to blow with such violence, that the ship ran above
eight knots or miles an hour during this whole day
and tempestuous night till bed-time. I was obliged
to betake myself once more to my solitude, for my
women were again all down in their sea-sickness, and
the captain was busy on deck; for he began to grow
uneasy, chiefly, I believe, because he did not well
know where he was, and would, I am convinced, have
been very glad to have been in Portland-road, eating
some sheep’s-head broth.
Having contracted no great degree
of good-humor by living a whole day alone, without
a single soul to converse with, I took but ill physic
to purge it off, by a bed-conversation with the captain,
who, amongst many bitter lamentations of his fate,
and protesting he had more patience than a Job, frequently
intermixed summons to the commanding officer on the
deck, who now happened to be one Morrison, a carpenter,
the only fellow that had either common sense or common
civility in the ship. Of Morrison he inquired
every quarter of an hour concerning the state of affairs:
the wind, the care of the ship, and other matters of
navigation. The frequency of these summons, as
well as the solicitude with which they were made,
sufficiently testified the state of the captain’s
mind; he endeavored to conceal it, and would have given
no small alarm to a man who had either not learned
what it is to die, or known what it is to be miserable.
And my dear wife and child must pardon me, if what
I did not conceive to be any great evil to myself I
was not much terrified with the thoughts of happening
to them; in truth, I have often thought they are both
too good and too gentle to be trusted to the power
of any man I know, to whom they could possibly be so
trusted.
Can I say then I had no fear? indeed
I cannot. Reader, I was afraid for thee, lest
thou shouldst have been deprived of that pleasure thou
art now enjoying; and that I should not live to draw
out on paper that military character which thou didst
peruse in the journal of yesterday.
From all these fears we were relieved,
at six in the morning, by the arrival of Mr. Morrison,
who acquainted us that he was sure he beheld land
very near; for he could not see half a mile, by reason
of the haziness of the weather. This land he
said was, he believed, the Berry-head, which forms
one side of Torbay: the captain declared that
it was impossible, and swore, on condition he was
right, he would give him his mother for a maid.
A forfeit which became afterwards strictly due and
payable; for the captain, whipping on his night-gown,
ran up without his breeches, and within half an hour
returning into the cabin, wished me joy of our lying
safe at anchor in the bay.
Sunday, July 26.-Things
now began to put on an aspect very different from
what they had lately worn; the news that the ship had
almost lost its mizzen, and that we had procured very
fine clouted cream and fresh bread and butter from
the shore, restored health and spirits to our women,
and we all sat down to a very cheerful breakfast.
But, however pleasant our stay promised to be here,
we were all desirous it should be short: I resolved
immediately to despatch my man into the country to
purchase a present of cider, for my friends of that
which is called Southam, as well as to take with me
a hogshead of it to Lisbon; for it is, in my opinion,
much more delicious than that which is the growth
of Herefordshire. I purchased three hogsheads
for five pounds ten shillings, all which I should
have scarce thought worth mentioning, had I not believed
it might be of equal service to the honest farmer who
sold it me, and who is by the neighboring gentlemen
reputed to deal in the very best; and to the reader,
who, from ignorance of the means of providing better
for himself, swallows at a dearer rate the juice of
Middlesex turnip, instead of that Vinum Pomonae
which Mr. Giles Leverance of Cheeshurst, near Dartmouth
in Devon, will, at the price of forty shillings per
hogshead, send in double casks to any part of the
world. Had the wind been very sudden in shifting,
I had lost my cider by an attempt of a boatman to
exact, according to custom. He required five
shillings for conveying my man a mile and a half to
the shore, and four more if he stayed to bring him
back. This I thought to be such insufferable
impudence that I ordered him to be immediately chased
from the ship, without any answer. Indeed, there
are few inconveniences that I would not rather encounter
than encourage the insolent demands of these wretches,
at the expense of my own indignation, of which I own
they are not the only objects, but rather those who
purchase a paltry convenience by encouraging them.
But of this I have already spoken very largely.
I shall conclude, therefore, with the leave which this
fellow took of our ship; saying he should know it
again, and would not put off from the shore to relieve
it in any distress whatever. It will, doubtless,
surprise many of my readers to hear that, when we lay
at anchor within a mile or two of a town several days
together, and even in the most temperate weather,
we should frequently want fresh provisions and herbage,
and other emoluments of the shore, as much as if we
had been a hundred leagues from land. And this
too while numbers of boats were in our sight, whose
owners get their livelihood by rowing people up and
down, and could be at any time summoned by a signal
to our assistance, and while the captain had a little
boat of his own, with men always ready to row it at
his command.
This, however, hath been partly accounted
for already by the imposing disposition of the people,
who asked so much more than the proper price of their
labor. And as to the usefulness of the captain’s
boat, it requires to be a little expatiated upon,
as it will tend to lay open some of the grievances
which demand the utmost regard of our legislature,
as they affect the most valuable part of the king’s
subjects-those by whom the commerce of the
nation is carried into execution. Our captain
then, who was a very good and experienced seaman,
having been above thirty years the master of a vessel,
part of which he had served, so he phrased it, as
commander of a privateer, and had discharged himself
with great courage and conduct, and with as great
success, discovered the utmost aversion to the sending
his boat ashore whenever we lay wind-bound in any
of our harbors. This aversion did not arise from
any fear of wearing out his boat by using it, but was,
in truth, the result of experience, that it was easier
to send his men on shore than to recall them.
They acknowledged him to be their master while they
remained on shipboard, but did not allow his power
to extend to the shores, where they had no sooner
set their foot than every man became sui juris,
and thought himself at full liberty to return when
he pleased. Now it is not any delight that these
fellows have in the fresh air or verdant fields on
the land. Every one of them would prefer his
ship and his hammock to all the sweets of Arabia the
Happy; but, unluckily for them, there are in every
seaport in England certain houses whose chief livelihood
depends on providing entertainment for the gentlemen
of the jacket. For this purpose they are always
well furnished with those cordial liquors which do
immediately inspire the heart with gladness, banishing
all careful thoughts, and indeed all others, from
the mind, and opening the mouth with songs of cheerfulness
and thanksgiving for the many wonderful blessings
with which a seafaring life overflows.
For my own part, however whimsical
it may appear, I confess I have thought the strange
story of Circe in the Odyssey no other than an ingenious
allegory, in which Homer intended to convey to his
countrymen the same kind of instruction which we intend
to communicate to our own in this digression.
As teaching the art of war to the Greeks was the plain
design of the Iliad, so was teaching them the art of
navigation the no less manifest intention of the Odyssey.
For the improvement of this, their situation was most
excellently adapted; and accordingly we find Thucydides,
in the beginning of his history, considers the Greeks
as a set of pirates or privateers, plundering each
other by sea. This being probably the first institution
of commerce before the Ars Cauponaria was
invented, and merchants, instead of robbing, began
to cheat and outwit each other, and by degrees changed
the Metabletic, the only kind of traffic allowed by
Aristotle in his Politics, into the Chrematistic.
By this allegory then I suppose Ulysses
to have been the captain of a merchant-ship, and Circe
some good ale-wife, who made his crew drunk with the
spirituous liquors of those days. With this the
transformation into swine, as well as all other incidents
of the fable, will notably agree; and thus a key will
be found out for unlocking the whole mystery, and
forging at least some meaning to a story which, at
present, appears very strange and absurd.
Hence, moreover, will appear the very
near resemblance between the sea-faring men of all
ages and nations; and here perhaps may be established
the truth and justice of that observation, which will
occur oftener than once in this voyage, that all human
flesh is not the same flesh, but that there is one
kind of flesh of landmen, and another of seamen.
Philosophers, divines, and others,
who have treated the gratification of human appetites
with contempt, have, among other instances, insisted
very strongly on that satiety which is so apt to overtake
them even in the very act of enjoyment. And here
they more particularly deserve our attention, as most
of them may be supposed to speak from their own experience,
and very probably gave us their lessons with a full
stomach. Thus hunger and thirst, whatever delight
they may afford while we are eating and drinking,
pass both away from us with the plate and the cup;
and though we should imitate the Romans, if, indeed,
they were such dull beasts, which I can scarce believe,
to unload the belly like a dung-pot, in order to fill
it again with another load, yet would the pleasure
be so considerably lessened that it would scarce repay
us the trouble of purchasing it with swallowing a
basin of camomile tea. A second haunch of venison,
or a second dose of turtle, would hardly allure a city
glutton with its smell. Even the celebrated Jew
himself, when well filled with calipash and calipee,
goes contentedly home to tell his money, and expects
no more pleasure from his throat during the next twenty-four
hours. Hence I suppose Dr. South took that elegant
comparison of the joys of a speculative man to the
solemn silence of an Archimedes over a problem, and
those of a glutton to the stillness of a sow at her
wash. A simile which, if it became the pulpit
at all, could only become it in the afternoon.
Whereas in those potations which the mind seems to
enjoy, rather than the bodily appetite, there is happily
no such satiety; but the more a man drinks, the more
he desires; as if, like Mark Anthony in Dryden, his
appetite increased with feeding, and this to such
an immoderate degree, ut nullus sit
desiderio aut pudor aut modus.
Hence, as with the gang of Captain Ulysses, ensues
so total a transformation, that the man no more continues
what he was. Perhaps he ceases for a time to
be at all; or, though he may retain the same outward
form and figure he had before, yet is his nobler part,
as we are taught to call it, so changed, that, instead
of being the same man, he scarce remembers what he
was a few hours before. And this transformation,
being once obtained, is so easily preserved by the
same potations, which induced no satiety, that the
captain in vain sends or goes in quest of his crew.
They know him no longer; or, if they do, they acknowledge
not his power, having indeed as entirely forgotten
themselves as if they had taken a large draught of
the river of Lethe.
Nor is the captain always sure of
even finding out the place to which Circe hath conveyed
them. There are many of those houses in every
port-town. Nay, there are some where the sorceress
doth not trust only to her drugs; but hath instruments
of a different kind to execute her purposes, by whose
means the tar is effectually secreted from the knowledge
and pursuit of his captain. This would, indeed,
be very fatal, was it not for one circumstance; that
the sailor is seldom provided with the proper bait
for these harpies. However, the contrary sometimes
happens, as these harpies will bite at almost anything,
and will snap at a pair of silver buttons, or buckles,
as surely as at the specie itself. Nay, sometimes
they are so voracious, that the very naked hook will
go down, and the jolly young sailor is sacrificed
for his own sake.
In vain, at such a season as this,
would the vows of a pious heathen have prevailed over
Neptune, Aeolus, or any other marine deity. In
vain would the prayers of a Christian captain be attended
with the like success. The wind may change how
it pleases while all hands are on shore; the anchor
would remain firm in the ground, and the ship would
continue in durance, unless, like other forcible prison-breakers,
it forcibly got loose for no good purpose. Now,
as the favor of winds and courts, and such like, is
always to be laid hold on at the very first motion,
for within twenty-four hours all may be changed again;
so, in the former case, the loss of a day may be the
loss of a voyage: for, though it may appear to
persons not well skilled in navigation, who see ships
meet and sail by each other, that the wind blows sometimes
east and west, north and south, backwards and forwards,
at the same instant; yet, certain it is that the land
is so contrived, that even the same wind will not,
like the same horse, always bring a man to the end
of his journey; but, that the gale which the mariner
prayed heartily for yesterday, he may as heartily
deprecate to-morrow; while all use and benefit which
would have arisen to him from the westerly wind of
to-morrow may be totally lost and thrown away by neglecting
the offer of the easterly blast which blows to-day.
Hence ensues grief and disreputation
to the innocent captain, loss and disappointment to
the worthy merchant, and not seldom great prejudice
to the trade of a nation whose manufactures are thus
liable to lie unsold in a foreign warehouse the market
being forestalled by some rival whose sailors are
under a better discipline. To guard against these
inconveniences the prudent captain takes every precaution
in his power; he makes the strongest contracts with
his crew, and thereby binds them so firmly, that none
but the greatest or least of men can break through
them with impunity; but for one of these two reasons,
which I will not determine, the sailor, like his brother
fish the eel, is too slippery to be held, and plunges
into his element with perfect impunity. To speak
a plain truth, there is no trusting to any contract
with one whom the wise citizens of London call a bad
man; for, with such a one, though your bond be ever
so strong, it will prove in the end good for nothing.
What then is to be done in this case?
What, indeed, but to call in the assistance of that
tremendous magistrate, the justice of peace, who can,
and often doth, lay good and bad men in equal durance;
and, though he seldom cares to stretch his bonds to
what is great, never finds anything too minute for
their detention, but will hold the smallest reptile
alive so fast in his noose, that he can never get
out till he is let drop through it. Why, therefore,
upon the breach of those contracts, should not an
immediate application be made to the nearest magistrate
of this order, who should be empowered to convey the
delinquent either to ship or to prison, at the election
of the captain, to be fettered by the leg in either
place? But, as the case now stands, the condition
of this poor captain without any commission, and of
this absolute commander without any power, is much
worse than we have hitherto shown it to be; for, notwithstanding
all the aforesaid contracts to sail in the good ship
the Elizabeth, if the sailor should, for better wages,
find it more his interest to go on board the better
ship the Mary, either before their setting out or
on their speedy meeting in some port, he may prefer
the latter without any other danger than that of “doing
what he ought not to have done,” contrary to
a rule which he is seldom Christian enough to have
much at heart, while the captain is generally too good
a Christian to punish a man out of revenge only, when
he is to be at a considerable expense for so doing.
There are many other deficiencies in our laws relating
to maritime affairs, and which would probably have
been long since corrected, had we any seamen in the
House of Commons. Not that I would insinuate
that the legislature wants a supply of many gentlemen
in the sea-service; but, as these gentlemen are by
their attendance in the house unfortunately prevented
from ever going to sea, and there learning what they
might communicate to their landed brethren, these latter
remain as ignorant in that branch of knowledge as they
would be if none but courtiers and fox-hunters had
been elected into parliament, without a single fish
among them. The following seems to me to be an
effect of this kind, and it strikes me the stronger
as I remember the case to have happened, and remember
it to have been dispunishable. A captain of a
trading vessel, of which he was part owner, took in
a large freight of oats at Liverpool, consigned to
the market at Bearkey: this he carried to a port
in Hampshire, and there sold it as his own, and, freighting
his vessel with wheat for the port of Cadiz, in Spain,
dropped it at Oporto in his way; and there, selling
it for his own use, took in a lading of wine, with
which he sailed again, and, having converted it in
the same manner, together with a large sum of money
with which he was intrusted, for the benefit of certain
merchants, sold the ship and cargo in another port,
and then wisely sat down contented with the fortune
he had made, and returned to London to enjoy the remainder
of his days, with the fruits of his former labors
and a good conscience.
The sum he brought home with him consisted
of near six thousand pounds, all in specie, and most
of it in that coin which Portugal distributes so liberally
over Europe.
He was not yet old enough to be past
all sense of pleasure, nor so puffed up with the pride
of his good fortune as to overlook his old acquaintances
the journeymen tailors, from among whom he had been
formerly pressed into the sea-service, and, having
there laid the foundation of his future success by
his shares in prizes, had afterwards become captain
of a trading vessel, in which he purchased an interest,
and had soon begun to trade in the honorable manner
above mentioned. The captain now took up his
residence at an ale-house in Drury-lane, where, having
all his money by him in a trunk, he spent about five
pounds a day among his old friends the gentlemen and
ladies of those parts. The merchant of Liverpool,
having luckily had notice from a friend during the
blaze of his fortune, did, by the assistance of a justice
of peace, without the assistance of the law, recover
his whole loss. The captain, however, wisely
chose to refund no more; but, perceiving with what
hasty strides Envy was pursuing his fortune, he took
speedy means to retire out of her reach, and to enjoy
the rest of his wealth in an inglorious obscurity;
nor could the same justice overtake him time enough
to assist a second merchant as he had done the first.
This was a very extraordinary case,
and the more so as the ingenious gentleman had steered
entirely clear of all crimes in our law. Now,
how it comes about that a robbery so very easy to
be committed, and to which there is such immediate
temptation always before the eyes of these fellows,
should receive the encouragement of impunity, is to
be accounted for only from the oversight of the legislature,
as that oversight can only be, I think, derived from
the reasons I have assigned for it.
But I will dwell no longer on this
subject. If what I have here said should seem
of sufficient consequence to engage the attention of
any man in power, and should thus be the means of
applying any remedy to the most inveterate evils,
at least, I have obtained my whole desire, and shall
have lain so long wind-bound in the ports of this kingdom
to some purpose. I would, indeed, have this work-which,
if I should live to finish it, a matter of no great
certainty, if indeed of any great hope to me, will
be probably the last I shall ever undertake-to
produce some better end than the mere diversion of
the reader.
Monday.-This day our captain
went ashore, to dine with a gentleman who lives in
these parts, and who so exactly resembles the character
given by Homer of Axylus, that the only difference
I can trace between them is, the one, living by the
highway, erected his hospitality chiefly in favor
of land-travelers; and the other, living by the water-side,
gratified his humanity by accommodating the wants of
the mariner.
In the evening our commander received
a visit from a brother bashaw, who lay wind-bound
in the same harbor. This latter captain was a
Swiss. He was then master of a vessel bound to
Guinea, and had formerly been a privateering, when
our own hero was employed in the same laudable service.
The honesty and freedom of the Switzer, his vivacity,
in which he was in no respect inferior to his near
neighbors the French, the awkward and affected politeness,
which was likewise of French extraction, mixed with
the brutal roughness of the English tar-for
he had served under the colors of this nation and
his crew had been of the same-made such
an odd variety, such a hotch-potch of character, that
I should have been much diverted with him, had not
his voice, which was as loud as a speaking-trumpet,
unfortunately made my head ache. The noise which
he conveyed into the deaf ears of his brother captain,
who sat on one side of him, the soft addresses with
which, mixed with awkward bows, he saluted the ladies
on the other, were so agreeably contrasted, that a
man must not only have been void of all taste of humor,
and insensible of mirth, but duller than Cibber is
represented in the Dunciad, who could be unentertained
with him a little while; for, I confess, such entertainments
should always be very short, as they are very liable
to pall. But he suffered not this to happen at
present; for, having given us his company a quarter
of an hour only, he retired, after many apologies
for the shortness of his visit.
Tuesday.-The wind being
less boisterous than it had hitherto been since our
arrival here, several fishing-boats, which the tempestuous
weather yesterday had prevented from working, came
on board us with fish. This was so fresh, so
good in kind, and so very cheap, that we supplied
ourselves in great numbers, among which were very large
soles at fourpence a pair, and whitings of almost
a preposterous size at ninepence a score. The
only fish which bore any price was a john doree, as
it is called. I bought one of at least four pounds
weight for as many shillings. It resembles a
turbot in shape, but exceeds it in firmness and flavor.
The price had the appearance of being considerable
when opposed to the extraordinary cheapness of others
of value, but was, in truth, so very reasonable when
estimated by its goodness, that it left me under no
other surprise than how the gentlemen of this country,
not greatly eminent for the delicacy of their taste,
had discovered the preference of the doree to all
other fish: but I was informed that Mr. Quin,
whose distinguishing tooth hath been so justly celebrated,
had lately visited Plymouth, and had done those honors
to the doree which are so justly due to it from that
sect of modern philosophers who, with Sir Epicure
Mammon, or Sir Epicure Quin, their head, seem more
to delight in a fish-pond than in a garden, as the
old Epicureans are said to have done.
Unfortunately for the fishmongers
of London, the doree resides only in those seas; for,
could any of this company but convey one to the temple
of luxury under the Piazza, where Macklin the high-priest
daily serves up his rich offerings to that goddess,
great would be the reward of that fishmonger, in blessings
poured down upon him from the goddess, as great would
his merit be towards the high-priest, who could never
be thought to overrate such valuable incense.
And here, having mentioned the extreme
cheapness of fish in the Devonshire sea, and given
some little hint of the extreme dearness with which
this commodity is dispensed by those who deal in it
in London, I cannot pass on without throwing forth
an observation or two, with the same view with which
I have scattered my several remarks through this voyage,
sufficiently satisfied in having finished my life,
as I have probably lost it, in the service of my country,
from the best of motives, though it should be attended
with the worst of success. Means are always in
our power; ends are very seldom so.
Of all the animal foods with which
man is furnished, there are none so plenty as fish.
A little rivulet, that glides almost unperceived through
a vast tract of rich land, will support more hundreds
with the flesh of its inhabitants than the meadow
will nourish individuals. But if this be true
of rivers, it is much truer of the sea-shores, which
abound with such immense variety of fish that the
curious fisherman, after he hath made his draught,
often culls only the daintiest part and leaves the
rest of his prey to perish on the shore. If this
be true it would appear, I think, that there is nothing
which might be had in such abundance, and consequently
so cheap, as fish, of which Nature seems to have provided
such inexhaustible stores with some peculiar design.
In the production of terrestrial animals she proceeds
with such slowness, that in the larger kind a single
female seldom produces more than one a-year, and this
again requires three, for, or five years more to bring
it to perfection. And though the lesser quadrupeds,
those of the wild kind particularly, with the birds,
do multiply much faster, yet can none of these bear
any proportion with the aquatic animals, of whom every
female matrix is furnished with an annual offspring
almost exceeding the power of numbers, and which,
in many instances at least, a single year is capable
of bringing to some degree of maturity.
What then ought in general to be so
plentiful, what so cheap, as fish? What then
so properly the food of the poor? So in many places
they are, and so might they always be in great cities,
which are always situated near the sea, or on the
conflux of large rivers. How comes it then, to
look no farther abroad for instances, that in our city
of London the case is so far otherwise that, except
that of sprats, there is not one poor palate
in a hundred that knows the taste of fish?
It is true indeed that this taste
is generally of such excellent flavor that it exceeds
the power of French cookery to treat the palates of
the rich with anything more exquisitely delicate; so
that was fish the common food of the poor it might
put them too much upon an equality with their betters
in the great article of eating, in which, at present,
in the opinion of some, the great difference in happiness
between man and man consists. But this argument
I shall treat with the utmost disdain: for if
ortolans were as big as buzzards, and at the same
time as plenty as sparrows, I should hold it yet reasonable
to indulge the poor with the dainty, and that for
this cause especially, that the rich would soon find
a sparrow, if as scarce as an ortolan, to be much the
greater, as it would certainly be the rarer, dainty
of the two.
Vanity or scarcity will be always
the favorite of luxury; but honest hunger will be
satisfied with plenty. Not to search deeper into
the cause of the evil, I should think it abundantly
sufficient to propose the remedies of it. And,
first, I humbly submit the absolute necessity of immediately
hanging all the fishmongers within the bills of mortality;
and, however it might have been some time ago the opinion
of mild and temporizing men that the evil complained
of might be removed by gentler methods, I suppose
at this day there are none who do not see the impossibility
of using such with any effect. Cuncta prius
tentanda might have been formerly urged with some
plausibility, but cuncta prius tentata may
now be replied: for surely, if a few monopolizing
fishmongers could defeat that excellent scheme of the
Westminster market, to the erecting which so many
justices of peace, as well as other wise and learned
men, did so vehemently apply themselves, that they
might be truly said not only to have laid the whole
strength of their heads, but of their shoulders too,
to the business, it would be a vain endeavor for any
other body of men to attempt to remove so stubborn
a nuisance.
If it should be doubted whether we
can bring this case within the letter of any capital
law now subsisting, I am ashamed to own it cannot;
for surely no crime better deserves such punishment;
but the remedy may, nevertheless, be immediate; and
if a law was made at the beginning of next session,
to take place immediately, by which the starving thousands
of poor was declared to be felony, without benefit
of clergy, the fishmongers would be hanged before
the end of the session. A second method of filling
the mouths of the poor, if not with loaves at least
with fishes, is to desire the magistrates to carry
into execution one at least out of near a hundred
acts of parliament, for preserving the small fry of
the river of Thames, by which means as few fish would
satisfy thousands as may now be devoured by a small
number of individuals. But while a fisherman
can break through the strongest meshes of an act of
parliament, we may be assured he will learn so to contrive
his own meshes that the smallest fry will not be able
to swim through them.
Other methods may, we doubt not, he
suggested by those who shall attentively consider
the evil here hinted at; but we have dwelt too long
on it already, and shall conclude with observing that
it is difficult to affirm whether the atrocity of
the evil itself, the facility of curing it, or the
shameful neglect of the cure, be the more scandalous
or more astonishing.
After having, however, gloriously
regaled myself with this food, I was washing it down
with some good claret with my wife and her friend,
in the cabin, when the captain’s valet-de-chambre,
head cook, house and ship steward, footman in livery
and out on’t, secretary and fore-mast man, all
burst into the cabin at once, being, indeed, all but
one person, and, without saying, by your leave, began
to pack half a hogshead of small beer in bottles,
the necessary consequence of which must have been
either a total stop to conversation at that cheerful
season when it is most agreeable, or the admitting
that polyonymous officer aforesaid to the participation
of it. I desired him therefore to delay his purpose
a little longer, but he refused to grant my request;
nor was he prevailed on to quit the room till he was
threatened with having one bottle to pack more than
his number, which then happened to stand empty within
my reach. With these menaces he retired at last,
but not without muttering some menaces on his side,
and which, to our great terror, he failed not to put
into immediate execution.
Our captain was gone to dinner this
day with his Swiss brother; and, though he was a very
sober man, was a little elevated with some champagne,
which, as it cost the Swiss little or nothing, he dispensed
at his table more liberally than our hospitable English
noblemen put about those bottles, which the ingenious
Peter Taylor teaches a led captain to avoid by distinguishing
by the name of that generous liquor, which all humble
companions are taught to postpone to the flavor of
methuen, or honest port.
While our two captains were thus regaling
themselves, and celebrating their own heroic exploits
with all the inspiration which the liquor, at least,
of wit could afford them, the polyonymous officer arrived,
and, being saluted by the name of Honest Tom, was
ordered to sit down and take his glass before he delivered
his message; for every sailor is by turns his captain’s
mate over a cann, except only that captain bashaw
who presides in a man-of-war, and who upon earth has
no other mate, unless it be another of the same bashaws.
Tom had no sooner swallowed his draught than he hastily
began his narrative, and faithfully related what had
happened on board our ship; we say faithfully, though
from what happened it may be suspected that Tom chose
to add perhaps only five or six immaterial circumstances,
as is always I believe the case, and may possibly
have been done by me in relating this very story, though
it happened not many hours ago.
No sooner was the captain informed
of the interruption which had been given to his officer,
and indeed to his orders, for he thought no time so
convenient as that of his absence for causing any confusion
in the cabin, than he leaped with such haste from
his chair that he had like to have broke his sword,
with which he always begirt himself when he walked
out of his ship, and sometimes when he walked about
in it; at the same time, grasping eagerly that other
implement called a cockade, which modern soldiers
wear on their helmets with the same view as the ancients
did their crests-to terrify the enemy he
muttered something, but so inarticulately that the
word damn was only intelligible; he then hastily
took leave of the Swiss captain, who was too well bred
to press his stay on such an occasion, and leaped
first from the ship to his boat, and then from his
boat to his own ship, with as much fierceness in his
looks as he had ever expressed on boarding his defenseless
prey in the honorable calling of a privateer.
Having regained the middle deck, he paused a moment
while Tom and others loaded themselves with bottles,
and then descending into the cabin exclaimed with
a thundering voice, “D-n me, why
arn’t the bottles stowed in, according to my
orders?”
I answered him very mildly that I
had prevented his man from doing it, as it was at
an inconvenient time to me, and as in his absence,
at least, I esteemed the cabin to be my own.
“Your cabin!” repeated he many times;
“no, d-n me! ’tis my cabin.
Your cabin! d-n me! I have brought
my hogs to a fair market. I suppose indeed you
think it your cabin, and your ship, by your commanding
in it; but I will command in it, d-n me!
I will show the world I am the commander, and nobody
but I! Did you think I sold you the command of
my ship for that pitiful thirty pounds? I wish
I had not seen you nor your thirty pounds aboard of
her.” He then repeated the words thirty
pounds often, with great disdain, and with a contempt
which I own the sum did not seem to deserve in my eye,
either in itself or on the present occasion; being,
indeed, paid for the freight of -
weight of human flesh, which is above fifty per cent
dearer than the freight of any other luggage, whilst
in reality it takes up less room; in fact, no room
at all.
In truth, the sum was paid for nothing
more than for a liberty to six persons (two of them
servants) to stay on board a ship while she sails
from one port to another, every shilling of which comes
clear into the captain’s pocket. Ignorant
people may perhaps imagine, especially when they are
told that the captain is obliged to sustain them, that
their diet at least is worth something, which may
probably be now and then so far the case as to deduct
a tenth part from the net profits on this account;
but it was otherwise at present; for when I had contracted
with the captain at a price which I by no means thought
moderate, I had some content in thinking I should
have no more to pay for my voyage; but I was whispered
that it was expected the passengers should find themselves
in several things; such as tea, wine, and such like;
and particularly that gentlemen should stow of the
latter a much larger quantity than they could use,
in order to leave the remainder as a present to the
captain at the end of the voyage; and it was expected
likewise that gentlemen should put aboard some fresh
stores, and the more of such things were put aboard
the welcomer they would be to the captain.
I was prevailed with by these hints
to follow the advice proposed; and accordingly, besides
tea and a large hamper of wine, with several hams
and tongues, I caused a number of live chickens and
sheep to be conveyed aboard; in truth, treble the
quantity of provisions which would have supported
the persons I took with me, had the voyage continued
three weeks, as it was supposed, with a bare possibility,
it might.
Indeed it continued much longer; but
as this was occasioned by our being wind-bound in
our own ports, it was by no means of any ill consequence
to the captain, as the additional stores of fish, fresh
meat, butter, bread, &c., which I constantly laid
in, greatly exceeded the consumption, and went some
way in maintaining the ship’s crew. It is
true I was not obliged to do this; but it seemed to
be expected; for the captain did not think himself
obliged to do it, and I can truly say I soon ceased
to expect it of him. He had, I confess, on board
a number of fowls and ducks sufficient for a West
India voyage; all of them, as he often said, “Very
fine birds, and of the largest breed.” This
I believe was really the fact, and I can add that
they were all arrived at the full perfection of their
size. Nor was there, I am convinced, any want
of provisions of a more substantial kind; such as dried
beef, pork, and fish; so that the captain seemed ready
to perform his contract, and amply to provide for
his passengers. What I did then was not from
necessity, but, perhaps, from a less excusable motive,
and was by no means chargeable to the account of the
captain.
But, let the motive have been what
it would, the consequence was still the same; and
this was such that I am firmly persuaded the whole
pitiful thirty pounds came pure and neat into the
captain’s pocket, and not only so, but attended
with the value of ten pound more in sundries into
the bargain. I must confess myself therefore at
a loss how the epithet pitiful came to be annexed
to the above sum; for, not being a pitiful price for
what it was given, I cannot conceive it to be pitiful
in itself; nor do I believe it is thought by the greatest
men in the kingdom; none of whom would scruple to
search for it in the dirtiest kennel, where they had
only a reasonable hope of success. How, therefore,
such a sum should acquire the idea of pitiful in the
eyes of the master of a ship seems not easy to be
accounted for; since it appears more likely to produce
in him ideas of a different kind. Some men, perhaps,
are no more sincere in the contempt for it which they
express than others in their contempt of money in general;
and I am the rather inclined to this persuasion, as
I have seldom heard of either who have refused or
refunded this their despised object. Besides,
it is sometimes impossible to believe these professions,
as every action of the man’s life is a contradiction
to it. Who can believe a tradesman who says he
would not tell his name for the profit he gets by the
selling such a parcel of goods, when he hath told
a thousand lies in order to get it? Pitiful,
indeed, is often applied to an object not absolutely,
but comparatively with our expectations, or with a
greater object: in which sense it is not easy
to set any bounds to the use of the word. Thus,
a handful of halfpence daily appear pitiful to a porter,
and a handful of silver to a drawer. The latter,
I am convinced, at a polite tavern, will not tell
his name (for he will not give you any answer) under
the price of gold. And in this sense thirty pound
may be accounted pitiful by the lowest mechanic.
One difficulty only seems to occur,
and that is this: how comes it that, if the profits
of the meanest arts are so considerable, the professors
of them are not richer than we generally see them?
One answer to this shall suffice. Men do not
become rich by what they get, but by what they keep.
He who is worth no more than his annual wages or salary,
spends the whole; he will be always a beggar let his
income be what it will, and so will be his family
when he dies. This we see daily to be the case
of ecclesiastics, who, during their lives, are extremely
well provided for, only because they desire to maintain
the honor of the cloth by living like gentlemen, which
would, perhaps, be better maintained by living unlike
them.
But, to return from so long a digression,
to which the use of so improper an epithet gave occasion,
and to which the novelty of the subject allured, I
will make the reader amends by concisely telling him
that the captain poured forth such a torrent of abuse
that I very hastily and very foolishly resolved to
quit the ship.
I gave immediate orders to summon
a hoy to carry me that evening to Dartmouth, without
considering any consequence. Those orders I gave
in no very low voice, so that those above stairs might
possibly conceive there was more than one master in
the cabin. In the same tone I likewise threatened
the captain with that which, he afterwards said, he
feared more than any rock or quicksand. Nor can
we wonder at this when we are told he had been twice
obliged to bring to and cast anchor there before,
and had neither time escaped without the loss of almost
his whole cargo.
The most distant sound of law thus
frightened a man who had often, I am convinced, heard
numbers of cannon roar round him with intrepidity.
Nor did he sooner see the hoy approaching the vessel
than he ran down again into the cabin, and, his rage
being perfectly subsided, he tumbled on his knees,
and a little too abjectly implored for mercy.
I did not suffer a brave man and an
old man to remain a moment in this posture, but I
immediately forgave him.
And here, that I may not be thought
the sly trumpeter of my own praises, I do utterly
disclaim all praise on the occasion. Neither did
the greatness of my mind dictate, nor the force of
my Christianity exact, this forgiveness. To speak
truth, I forgave him from a motive which would make
men much more forgiving if they were much wiser than
they are, because it was convenient for me so to do.
Wednesday.-This morning
the captain dressed himself in scarlet in order to
pay a visit to a Devonshire squire, to whom a captain
of a ship is a guest of no ordinary consequence, as
he is a stranger and a gentleman, who hath seen a
great deal of the world in foreign parts, and knows
all the news of the times.
The squire, therefore, was to send
his boat for the captain, but a most unfortunate accident
happened; for, as the wind was extremely rough and
against the hoy, while this was endeavoring to avail
itself of great seamanship in hauling up against the
wind, a sudden squall carried off sail and yard, or
at least so disabled them that they were no longer
of any use and unable to reach the ship; but the captain,
from the deck, saw his hopes of venison disappointed,
and was forced either to stay on board his ship, or
to hoist forth his own long-boat, which he could not
prevail with himself to think of, though the smell
of the venison had had twenty times its attraction.
He did, indeed, love his ship as his wife, and his
boats as children, and never willingly trusted the
latter, poor things! to the dangers of the sea.
To say truth, notwithstanding the
strict rigor with which he preserved the dignity of
his stations and the hasty impatience with which he
resented any affront to his person or orders, disobedience
to which he could in no instance brook in any person
on board, he was one of the best natured fellows alive.
He acted the part of a father to his sailors; he expressed
great tenderness for any of them when ill, and never
suffered any the least work of supererogation to go
unrewarded by a glass of gin. He even extended
his humanity, if I may so call it, to animals, and
even his cats and kittens had large shares in his
affections.
An instance of which we saw this evening,
when the cat, which had shown it could not be drowned,
was found suffocated under a feather-bed in the cabin.
I will not endeavor to describe his lamentations with
more prolixity than barely by saying they were grievous,
and seemed to have some mixture of the Irish howl
in them. Nay, he carried his fondness even to
inanimate objects, of which we have above set down
a pregnant example in his demonstration of love and
tenderness towards his boats and ship. He spoke
of a ship which he had commanded formerly, and which
was long since no more, which he had called the Princess
of Brazil, as a widower of a deceased wife. This
ship, after having followed the honest business of
carrying goods and passengers for hire many years,
did at last take to evil courses and turn privateer,
in which service, to use his own words, she received
many dreadful wounds, which he himself had felt as
if they had been his own.
Thursday.-As the wind did
not yesterday discover any purpose of shifting, and
the water in my belly grew troublesome and rendered
me short-breathed, I began a second time to have apprehensions
of wanting the assistance of a trochar when none was
to be found; I therefore concluded to be tapped again
by way of precaution, and accordingly I this morning
summoned on board a surgeon from a neighboring parish,
one whom the captain greatly recommended, and who
did indeed perform his office with much dexterity.
He was, I believe, likewise a man of great judgment
and knowledge in the profession; but of this I cannot
speak with perfect certainty, for, when he was going
to open on the dropsy at large and on the particular
degree of the distemper under which I labored, I was
obliged to stop him short, for the wind was changed,
and the captain in the utmost hurry to depart; and
to desire him, instead of his opinion, to assist me
with his execution. I was now once more delivered
from my burden, which was not indeed so great as I
had apprehended, wanting two quarts of what was let
out at the last operation.
While the surgeon was drawing away
my water the sailors were drawing up the anchor; both
were finished at the same time; we unfurled our sails
and soon passed the Berry-head, which forms the mouth
of the bay.
We had not however sailed far when
the wind, which, had though with a slow pace, kept
us company about six miles, suddenly turned about,
and offered to conduct us back again; a favor which,
though sorely against the grain, we were obliged to
accept.
Nothing remarkable happened this day;
for as to the firm persuasion of the captain that
he was under the spell of witchcraft, I would not
repeat it too often, though indeed he repeated it an
hundred times every day; in truth, he talked of nothing
else, and seemed not only to be satisfied in general
of his being bewitched, but actually to have fixed
with good certainty on the person of the witch, whom,
had he lived in the days of Sir Matthew Hale, he would
have infallibly indicted, and very possibly have hanged,
for the detestable sin of witchcraft; but that law,
and the whole doctrine that supported it, are now out
of fashion; and witches, as a learned divine once
chose to express himself, are put down by act of parliament.
This witch, in the captain’s opinion, was no
other than Mrs. Francis of Ryde, who, as he insinuated,
out of anger to me for not spending more money in
her house than she could produce anything to exchange
for, or ally pretense to charge for, had laid this
spell on his ship.
Though we were again got near our
harbor by three in the afternoon, yet it seemed to
require a full hour or more before we could come to
our former place of anchoring, or berth, as the captain
called it. On this occasion we exemplified one
of the few advantages which the travelers by water
have over the travelers by land. What would the
latter often give for the sight of one of those hospitable
mansions where he is assured that there
is good entertainment for man
and horse; and where both may consequently
promise themselves to assuage that hunger which exercise
is so sure to raise in a healthy constitution.
At their arrival at this mansion how
much happier is the state of the horse than that of
the master! The former is immediately led to
his repast, such as it is, and, whatever it is, he
falls to it with appetite. But the latter is
in a much worse situation. His hunger, however
violent, is always in some degree delicate, and his
food must have some kind of ornament, or, as the more
usual phrase is, of dressing, to recommend it.
Now all dressing requires time, and therefore, though
perhaps the sheep might be just killed before you
came to the inn, yet in cutting him up, fetching the
joint, which the landlord by mistake said he had in
the house, from the butcher at two miles’ distance,
and afterwards warming it a little by the fire, two
hours at least must be consumed, while hunger, for
want of better food, preys all the time on the vitals
of the man.
How different was the case with us!
we carried our provision, our kitchen, and our cook
with us, and we were at one and the same time traveling
on our road, and sitting down to a repast of fish,
with which the greatest table in London can scarce
at any rate be supplied.
Friday.-As we were disappointed
of our wind, and obliged to return back the preceding
evening, we resolved to extract all the good we could
out of our misfortune, and to add considerably to
our fresh stores of meat and bread, with which we
were very indifferently provided when we hurried away
yesterday. By the captain’s advice we likewise
laid in some stores of butter, which we salted and
potted ourselves, for our use at Lisbon, and we had
great reason afterwards to thank him for his advice.
In the afternoon I persuaded my wife
whom it was no easy matter for me to force from my
side, to take a walk on shore, whither the gallant
captain declared he was ready to attend her. Accordingly
the ladies set out, and left me to enjoy a sweet and
comfortable nap after the operation of the preceding
day.
Thus we enjoyed our separate pleasures
full three hours, when we met again, and my wife gave
the foregoing account of the gentleman whom I have
before compared to Axylus, and of his habitation, to
both which she had been introduced by the captain,
in the style of an old friend and acquaintance, though
this foundation of intimacy seemed to her to be no
deeper laid than in an accidental dinner, eaten many
years before, at this temple of hospitality, when
the captain lay wind-bound in the same bay.
Saturday.-Early this morning
the wind seemed inclined to change in our favor.
Our alert captain snatched its very first motion, and
got under sail with so very gentle a breeze that,
as the tide was against him, he recommended to a fishing
boy to bring after him a vast salmon and some other
provisions which lay ready for him on shore.
Our anchor was up at six, and before
nine in the morning we had doubled the Berry-head,
and were arrived off Dartmouth, having gone full three
miles in as many hours, in direct opposition to the
tide, which only befriended us out of our harbor;
and though the wind was perhaps our friend, it was
so very silent, and exerted itself so little in our
favor, that, like some cool partisans, it was difficult
to say whether it was with us or against us.
The captain, however, declared the former to be the
case during the whole three hours; but at last he perceived
his error, or rather, perhaps, this friend, which had
hitherto wavered in choosing his side, became now
more determined. The captain then suddenly tacked
about, and, asserting that he was bewitched, submitted
to return to the place from whence he came. Now,
though I am as free from superstition as any man breathing,
and never did believe in witches, notwithstanding
all the excellent arguments of my lord chief-justice
Hale in their favor, and long before they were put
down by act of parliament, yet by what power a ship
of burden should sail three miles against both wind
and tide, I cannot conceive, unless there was some
supernatural interposition in the case; nay, could
we admit that the wind stood neuter, the difficulty
would still remain. So that we must of necessity
conclude that the ship was either bewinded or bewitched.
The captain, perhaps, had another meaning. He
imagined himself, I believe, bewitched, because the
wind, instead of persevering in its change in his
favor, for change it certainly did that morning, should
suddenly return to its favorite station, and blow him
back towards the bay. But, if this was his opinion,
he soon saw cause to alter; for he had not measured
half the way back when the wind again declared in
his favor, and so loudly, that there was no possibility
of being mistaken. The orders for the second
tack were given, and obeyed with much more alacrity
than those had been for the first. We were all
of us indeed in high spirits on the occasion; though
some of us a little regretted the good things we were
likely to leave behind us by the fisherman’s
neglect; I might give it a worse name, for he faithfully
promised to execute the commission, which he had had
abundant opportunity to do; but nautica fides
deserves as much to be proverbial as ever Punica
fides could formerly have done. Nay, when
we consider that the Carthaginians came from the Phoenicians
who are supposed to have produced the first mariners,
we may probably see the true reason of the adage,
and it may open a field of very curious discoveries
to the antiquarian.
We were, however, too eager to pursue
our voyage to suffer anything we left behind us to
interrupt our happiness, which, indeed, many agreeable
circumstances conspired to advance. The weather
was inexpressibly pleasant, and we were all seated
on the deck, when our canvas began to swell with the
wind. We had likewise in our view above thirty
other sail around us, all in the same situation.
Here an observation occurred to me, which, perhaps,
though extremely obvious, did not offer itself to
every individual in our little fleet: when I perceived
with what different success we proceeded under the
influence of a superior power which, while we lay
almost idle ourselves, pushed us forward on our intended
voyage, and compared this with the slow progress which
we had made in the morning, of ourselves, and without
any such assistance, I could not help reflecting how
often the greatest abilities lie wind-bound as it
were in life; or, if they venture out and attempt to
beat the seas, they struggle in vain against wind and
tide, and, if they have not sufficient prudence to
put back, are most probably cast away on the rocks
and quicksands which are every day ready to devour
them.
It was now our fortune to set out
melioribus avibus. The wind freshened so briskly
in our poop that the shore appeared to move from us
as fast as we did from the shore. The captain
declared he was sure of a wind, meaning its continuance;
but he had disappointed us so often that he had lost
all credit. However, he kept his word a little
better now, and we lost sight of our native land as
joyfully, at least, as it is usual to regain it.
Sunday.-The next morning
the captain told me he thought himself thirty miles
to the westward of Plymouth, and before evening declared
that the Lizard Point, which is the extremity of Cornwall,
bore several leagues to leeward. Nothing remarkable
passed this day, except the captain’s devotion,
who, in his own phrase, summoned all hands to prayers,
which were read by a common sailor upon deck, with
more devout force and address than they are commonly
read by a country curate, and received with more decency
and attention by the sailors than are usually preserved
in city congregations. I am indeed assured, that
if any such affected disregard of the solemn office
in which they were engaged, as I have seen practiced
by fine gentlemen and ladies, expressing a kind of
apprehension lest they should be suspected of being
really in earnest in their devotion, had been shown
here, they would have contracted the contempt of the
whole audience. To say the truth, from what I
observed in the behavior of the sailors in this voyage,
and on comparing it with what I have formerly seen
of them at sea and on shore, I am convinced that on
land there is nothing more idle and dissolute; in their
own element there are no persons near the level of
their degree who live in the constant practice of
half so many good qualities.
They are, for much the greater part,
perfect masters of their business, and always extremely
alert, and ready in executing it, without any regard
to fatigue or hazard. The soldiers themselves
are not better disciplined nor more obedient to orders
than these whilst aboard; they submit to every difficulty
which attends their calling with cheerfulness, and
no less virtues and patience and fortitude are exercised
by them every day of their lives. All these good
qualities, however, they always leave behind them
on shipboard; the sailor out of water is, indeed,
as wretched an animal as the fish out of water; for
though the former hath, in common with amphibious animals,
the bare power of existing on the land, yet if he
be kept there any time he never fails to become a
nuisance. The ship having had a good deal of motion
since she was last under sail, our women returned to
their sickness, and I to my solitude; having, for
twenty-four hours together, scarce opened my lips
to a single person. This circumstance of being
shut up within the circumference of a few yards, with
a score of human creatures, with not one of whom it
was possible to converse, was perhaps so rare as scarce
ever to have happened before, nor could it ever happen
to one who disliked it more than myself, or to myself
at a season when I wanted more food for my social
disposition, or could converse less wholesomely and
happily with my own thoughts. To this accident,
which fortune opened to me in the Downs, was owing
the first serious thought which I ever entertained
of enrolling myself among the voyage-writers; some
of the most amusing pages, if, indeed, there be any
which deserve that name, were possibly the production
of the most disagreeable hours which ever haunted
the author.
Monday.-At noon the captain
took an observation, by which it appeared that Ushant
bore some leagues northward of us, and that we were
just entering the bay of Biscay. We had advanced
a very few miles in this bay before we were entirely
becalmed: we furled our sails, as being of no
use to us while we lay in this most disagreeable situation,
more detested by the sailors than the most violent
tempest: we were alarmed with the loss of a fine
piece of salt beef, which had been hung in the sea
to freshen it; this being, it seems, the strange property
of salt-water. The thief was immediately suspected,
and presently afterwards taken by the sailors.
He was, indeed, no other than a huge shark, who, not
knowing when he was well off, swallowed another piece
of beef, together with a great iron crook on which
it was hung, and by which he was dragged into the
ship. I should scarce have mentioned the catching
this shark, though so exactly conformable to the rules
and practice of voyage-writing, had it not been for
a strange circumstance that attended it. This
was the recovery of the stolen beef out of the shark’s
maw, where it lay unchewed and undigested, and whence,
being conveyed into the pot, the flesh, and the thief
that had stolen it, joined together in furnishing
variety to the ship’s crew.
During this calm we likewise found
the mast of a large vessel, which the captain thought
had lain at least three years in the sea. It was
stuck all over with a little shell-fish or reptile,
called a barnacle, and which probably are the prey
of the rockfish, as our captain calls it, asserting
that it is the finest fish in the world; for which
we are obliged to confide entirely to his taste; for,
though he struck the fish with a kind of harping-iron,
and wounded him, I am convinced, to death, yet he
could not possess himself of his body; but the poor
wretch escaped to linger out a few hours with probably
great torments.
In the evening our wind returned,
and so briskly, that we ran upwards of twenty leagues
before the next day’s [Tuesday’s] observation,
which brought us to la degrees 42’.
The captain promised us a very speedy passage through
the bay; but he deceived us, or the wind deceived him,
for it so slackened at sunset, that it scarce carried
us a mile in an hour during the whole succeeding night.
Wednesday.-A gale struck
up a little after sunrising, which carried us between
three and four knots or miles an hour. We were
this day at noon about the middle of the bay of Biscay,
when the wind once more deserted us, and we were so
entirely becalmed, that we did not advance a mile in
many hours. My fresh-water reader will perhaps
conceive no unpleasant idea from this calm; but it
affected us much more than a storm could have done;
for, as the irascible passions of men are apt to swell
with indignation long after the injury which first
raised them is over, so fared it with the sea.
It rose mountains high, and lifted our poor ship up
and down, backwards and forwards, with so violent an
emotion, that there was scarce a man in the ship better
able to stand than myself. Every utensil in our
cabin rolled up and down, as we should have rolled
ourselves, had not our chairs been fast lashed to the
floor. In this situation, with our tables likewise
fastened by ropes, the captain and myself took our
meal with some difficulty, and swallowed a little of
our broth, for we spilt much the greater part.
The remainder of our dinner being an old, lean, tame
duck roasted, I regretted but little the loss of,
my teeth not being good enough to have chewed it.
Our women, who began to creep out
of their holes in the morning, retired again within
the cabin to their beds, and were no more heard of
this day, in which my whole comfort was to find by
the captain’s relation that the swelling was
sometimes much worse; he did, indeed, take this occasion
to be more communicative than ever, and informed me
of such misadventures that had befallen him within
forty-six years at sea as might frighten a very bold
spirit from undertaking even the shortest voyage.
Were these, indeed, but universally known, our matrons
of quality would possibly be deterred from venturing
their tender offspring at sea; by which means our
navy would lose the honor of many a young commodore,
who at twenty-two is better versed in maritime affairs
than real seamen are made by experience at sixty.
And this may, perhaps, appear the more extraordinary,
as the education of both seems to be pretty much the
same; neither of them having had their courage tried
by Virgil’s description of a storm, in which,
inspired as he was, I doubt whether our captain doth
not exceed him. In the evening the wind, which
continued in the N.W., again freshened, and that so
briskly that Cape Finisterre appeared by this day’s
observation to bear a few miles to the southward.
We now indeed sailed, or rather flew, near ten knots
an hour; and the captain, in the redundancy of his
good-humor, declared he would go to church at Lisbon
on Sunday next, for that he was sure of a wind; and,
indeed, we all firmly believed him. But the event
again contradicted him; for we were again visited
by a calm in the evening.
But here, though our voyage was retarded,
we were entertained with a scene, which as no one
can behold without going to sea, so no one can form
an idea of anything equal to it on shore. We were
seated on the deck, women and all, in the serenest
evening that can be imagined. Not a single cloud
presented itself to our view, and the sun himself was
the only object which engrossed our whole attention.
He did indeed set with a majesty which is incapable
of description, with which, while the horizon was
yet blazing with glory, our eyes were called off to
the opposite part to survey the moon, which was then
at full, and which in rising presented us with the
second object that this world hath offered to our
vision. Compared to these the pageantry of theaters,
or splendor of courts, are sights almost below the
regard of children. We did not return from the
deck till late in the evening; the weather being inexpressibly
pleasant, and so warm that even my old distemper perceived
the alteration of the climate. There was indeed
a swell, but nothing comparable to what we had felt
before, and it affected us on the deck much less than
in the cabin.
Friday.-The calm continued
till sun-rising, when the wind likewise arose, but
unluckily for us it came from a wrong quarter; it was
S.S.E., which is that very wind which Juno would have
solicited of Aeolus, had Gneas been in our latitude
bound for Lisbon.
The captain now put on his most melancholy
aspect, and resumed his former opinion that he was
bewitched. He declared with great solemnity that
this was worse and worse, for that a wind directly
in his teeth was worse than no wind at all. Had
we pursued the course which the wind persuaded us
to take we had gone directly for Newfoundland, if we
had not fallen in with Ireland in our way. Two
ways remained to avoid this; one was to put into a
port of Galicia; the other, to beat to the westward
with as little sail as possible: and this was
our captain’s election.
As for us, poor passengers, any port
would have been welcome to us; especially, as not
only our fresh provisions, except a great number of
old ducks and fowls, but even our bread was come to
an end, and nothing but sea-biscuit remained, which
I could not chew. So that now for the first time
in my life I saw what it was to want a bit of bread.
The wind however was not so unkind
as we had apprehended; but, having declined with the
sun, it changed at the approach of the moon, and became
again favorable to us, though so gentle that the next
day’s observation carried us very little to
the southward of Cape Finisterre. This evening
at six the wind, which had been very quiet all day,
rose very high, and continuing in our favor drove
us seven knots an hour.
This day we saw a sail, the only one,
as I heard of, we had seen in our whole passage through
the bay. I mention this on account of what appeared
to me somewhat extraordinary. Though she was at
such a distance that I could only perceive she was
a ship, the sailors discovered that she was a snow,
bound to a port in Galicia.
Sunday.-After prayers,
which our good captain read on the deck with an audible
voice, and with but one mistake, of a lion for Elias,
in the second lesson for this day, we found ourselves
far advanced in 42 degrees, and the captain declared
we should sup off Porte. We had not much wind
this day; but, as this was directly in our favor, we
made it up with sail, of which we crowded all we had.
We went only at the rate of four miles an hour, but
with so uneasy a motion, continuing rolling from side
to side, that I suffered more than I had done in our
whole voyage; my bowels being almost twisted out of
my belly. However, the day was very serene and
bright, and the captain, who was in high spirits,
affirmed he had never passed a pleasanter at sea.
The wind continued so brisk that we
ran upward of six knots an hour the whole night.
Monday.-In the morning
our captain concluded that he was got into la
degrees, and was very little short of the Burlings,
as they are called in the charts. We came up
with them at five in the afternoon, being the first
land we had distinctly seen since we left Devonshire.
They consist of abundance of little rocky islands,
a little distant from the shore, three of them only
showing themselves above the water.
Here the Portuguese maintain a kind
of garrison, if we may allow it that name. It
consists of malefactors, who are banished hither for
a term, for divers small offenses-a policy
which they may have copied from the Egyptians, as
we may read in Diodorus Siculus. That wise
people, to prevent the corruption of good manners
by evil communication, built a town on the Red Sea,
whither they transported a great number of their criminals,
having first set an indelible mark on them, to prevent
their returning and mixing with the sober part of
their citizens. These rocks lie about fifteen
leagues northwest of Cape Roxent, or, as it is commonly
called, the Rock of Lisbon, which we passed early the
next morning. The wind, indeed, would have carried
us thither sooner; but the captain was not in a hurry,
as he was to lose nothing by his delay.
Tuesday.-This is a very
high mountain, situated on the northern side of the
mouth of the river Tajo, which, rising about Madrid,
in Spain, and soon becoming navigable for small craft,
empties itself, after a long course, into the sea,
about four leagues below Lisbon.
On the summit of the rock stands a
hermitage, which is now in the possession of an Englishman,
who was formerly master of a vessel trading to Lisbon;
and, having changed his religion and his manners, the
latter of which, at least, were none of the best,
betook himself to this place, in order to do penance
for his sins. He is now very old, and hath inhabited
this hermitage for a great number of years, during
which he hath received some countenance from the royal
family, and particularly from the present queen dowager,
whose piety refuses no trouble or expense by which
she may make a proselyte, being used to say that the
saving one soul would repay all the endeavors of her
life. Here we waited for the tide, and had the
pleasure of surveying the face of the country, the
soil of which, at this season, exactly resembles an
old brick-kiln, or a field where the green sward is
pared up and set a-burning, or rather a smoking, in
little heaps to manure the land. This sight will,
perhaps, of all others, make an Englishman proud of,
and pleased with, his own country, which in verdure
excels, I believe, every other country. Another
deficiency here is the want of large trees, nothing
above a shrub being here to be discovered in the circumference
of many miles.
At this place we took a pilot on board,
who, being the first Portuguese we spoke to, gave
us an instance of that religious observance which is
paid by all nations to their laws; for, whereas it
is here a capital offense to assist any person in
going on shore from a foreign vessel before it hath
been examined, and every person in it viewed by the
magistrates of health, as they are called, this worthy
pilot, for a very small reward, rowed the Portuguese
priest to shore at this place, beyond which he did
not dare to advance, and in venturing whither he had
given sufficient testimony of love for his native
country.
We did not enter the Tajo till noon,
when, after passing several old castles and other
buildings which had greatly the aspect of ruins, we
came to the castle of Bellisle, where we had a full
prospect of Lisbon, and were, indeed, within three
miles of it.
Here we were saluted with a gun, which
was a signal to pass no farther till we had complied
with certain ceremonies which the laws of this country
require to be observed by all ships which arrive in
this port. We were obliged then to cast anchor,
and expect the arrival of the officers of the customs,
without whose passport no ship must proceed farther
than this place.
Here likewise we received a visit
from one of those magistrates of health before mentioned.
He refused to come on board the ship till every person
in her had been drawn up on deck and personally viewed
by him. This occasioned some delay on my part,
as it was not the work of a minute to lift me from
the cabin to the deck. The captain thought my
particular case might have been excused from this ceremony,
and that it would be abundantly sufficient if the
magistrate, who was obliged afterwards to visit the
cabin, surveyed me there. But this did not satisfy
the magistrate’s strict regard to his duty.
When he was told of my lameness, he called out, with
a voice of authority, “Let him be brought up,”
and his orders were presently complied with. He
was, indeed, a person of great dignity, as well as
of the most exact fidelity in the discharge of his
trust. Both which are the more admirable as his
salary is less than thirty pounds English per annum.
Before a ship hath been visited by
one of those magistrates no person can lawfully go
on board her, nor can any on board depart from her.
This I saw exemplified in a remarkable instance.
The young lad whom I have mentioned as one of our
passengers was here met by his father, who, on the
first news of the captain’s arrival, came from
Lisbon to Bellisle in a boat, being eager to embrace
a son whom he had not seen for many years. But
when he came alongside our ship neither did the father
dare ascend nor the son descend, as the magistrate
of health had not yet been on board. Some of
our readers will, perhaps, admire the great caution
of this policy, so nicely calculated for the preservation
of this country from all pestilential distempers.
Others will as probably regard it as too exact and
formal to be constantly persisted in, in seasons of
the utmost safety, as well as in times of danger.
I will not decide either way, but will content myself
with observing that I never yet saw or heard of a
place where a traveler had so much trouble given him
at his landing as here. The only use of which,
as all such matters begin and end in form only, is
to put it into the power of low and mean fellows to
be either rudely officious or grossly corrupt, as they
shall see occasion to prefer the gratification of
their pride or of their avarice.
Of this kind, likewise, is that power
which is lodged with other officers here, of taking
away every grain of snuff and every leaf of tobacco
brought hither from other countries, though only for
the temporary use of the person during his residence
here. This is executed with great insolence,
and, as it is in the hands of the dregs of the people,
very scandalously; for, under pretense of searching
for tobacco and snuff, they are sure to steal whatever
they can find, insomuch that when they came on board
our sailors addressed us in the Covent-garden language:
“Pray, gentlemen and ladies, take care of your
swords and watches.” Indeed, I never yet
saw anything equal to the contempt and hatred which
our honest tars every moment expressed for these Portuguese
officers.
At Bellisle lies buried Catharine
of Arragon, widow of prince Arthur, eldest son of
our Henry VII, afterwards married to, and divorced
from Henry VIII. Close by the church where her
remains are deposited is a large convent of Geronymites,
one of the most beautiful piles of building in all
Portugal.
In the evening, at twelve, our ship,
having received previous visits from all the necessary
parties, took the advantage of the tide, and having
sailed up to Lisbon cast anchor there, in a calm and
moonshiny night, which made the passage incredibly
pleasant to the women, who remained three hours enjoying
it, whilst I was left to the cooler transports of
enjoying their pleasures at second-hand; and yet, cooler
as they may be, whoever is totally ignorant of such
sensation is, at the same time, void of all ideas
of friendship.
Wednesday.-Lisbon, before
which we now lay at anchor, is said to be built on
the same number of hills with old Rome; but these do
not all appear to the water; on the contrary, one
sees from thence one vast high hill and rock, with
buildings arising above one another, and that in so
steep and almost perpendicular a manner, that they
all seem to have but one foundation.
As the houses, convents, churches,
&c., are large, and all built with white stone, they
look very beautiful at a distance; but as you approach
nearer, and find them to want every kind of ornament,
all idea of beauty vanishes at once. While I
was surveying the prospect of this city, which bears
so little resemblance to any other that I have ever
seen, a reflection occurred to me that, if a man was
suddenly to be removed from Palmyra hither, and should
take a view of no other city, in how glorious a light
would the ancient architecture appear to him! and what
desolation and destruction of arts and sciences would
he conclude had happened between the several eras
of these cities!
I had now waited full three hours
upon deck for the return of my man, whom I had sent
to bespeak a good dinner (a thing which had been long
unknown to me) on shore, and then to bring a Lisbon
chaise with him to the seashore; but it seems the
impertinence of the providore was not yet brought
to a conclusion. At three o’clock, when
I was from emptiness, rather faint than hungry, my
man returned, and told me there was a new law lately
made that no passenger should set his foot on shore
without a special order from the providore, and that
he himself would have been sent to prison for disobeying
it, had he not been protected as the servant of the
captain. He informed me likewise that the captain
had been very industrious to get this order, but that
it was then the providore’s hour of sleep, a
time when no man, except the king himself, durst disturb
him.
To avoid prolixity, though in a part
of my narrative which may be more agreeable to my
reader than it was to me, the providore, having at
last finished his nap, dispatched this absurd matter
of form, and gave me leave to come, or rather to be
carried, on shore.
What it was that gave the first hint
of this strange law is not easy to guess. Possibly,
in the infancy of their defection, and before their
government could be well established, they were willing
to guard against the bare possibility of surprise,
of the success of which bare possibility the Trojan
horse will remain for ever on record, as a great and
memorable example. Now the Portuguese have no
walls to secure them, and a vessel of two or three
hundred tons will contain a much larger body of troops
than could be concealed in that famous machine, though
Virgil tells us (somewhat hyperbolically, I believe)
that it was as big as a mountain.
About seven in the evening I got into
a chaise on shore, and was driven through the nastiest
city in the world, though at the same time one of
the most populous, to a kind of coffee-house, which
is very pleasantly situated on the brow of a hill,
about a mile from the city, and hath a very fine prospect
of the river Tajo from Lisbon to the sea. Here
we regaled ourselves with a good supper, for which
we were as well charged as if the bill had been made
on the Bath-road, between Newbury and London.
And now we could joyfully say,
Egressi optata Troes
potiuntur arena.
Therefore, in the words of Horace,