I had some curious conversation the
next morning with Miss Ambient, whom I found strolling
in the garden before breakfast The whole place looked
as fresh and trim, amid the twitter of the birds, as
if, an hour before, the housemaids had been turned
into it with their dustpans and feather-brushes, I
almost hesitated to light a cigarette, and was doubly
startled when, in the act of doing so, I suddenly perceived
the sister of my host, who had, in any case, something
of the oddity of an apparition, standing before me.
She might have been posing for her photograph.
Her sad-colored robe arranged itself in serpentine
folds at her feet; her hands locked themselves listlessly
together in front; and her chin rested upon a cinque-cento
ruff. The first thing I did, after bidding her
good-morning, was to ask her for news of her little
nephew, to express the hope that she had
heard he was better. She was able to gratify
this hope, and spoke as if we might expect to see him
during the day. We walked through the shrubberies
together, and she gave me a great deal of information
about her brother’s ménage, which offered
me an opportunity to mention to her that his wife had
told me, the night before, that she thought his productions
objectionable.
“She does n’t usually
come out with that so soon!” Miss Ambient exclaimed,
in answer to this piece of gossip. “Poor
lady, she saw that I am a fanatic.” “Yes,
she won’t like you for that. But you must
n’t mind, if the rest of us like you! Beatrice
thinks a work of art ought to have a ‘purpose.’
But she’s a charming woman don’t
you think her charming? she’s such
a type of the lady.”
“She’s very beautiful,”
I answered; while I reflected that though it was true,
apparently, that Mark Ambient was mismated, it was
also perceptible that his sister was perfidious.
She told me that her brother and his wife had no other
difference but this one, that she thought his writings
immoral and his influence pernicious. It was a
fixed idea; she was afraid of these things for the
child. I answered that it was not a trifle a
woman’s regarding her husband’s mind as
a well of corruption, and she looked quite struck
with the novelty of my remark. “But there
has n’t been any of the sort of trouble that
there so often is among married people,” she
said. “I suppose you can judge for yourself
that Beatrice isn’t at all well, whatever
they call it when a woman misbehaves herself.
And Mark does n’t make love to other people,
either. I assure you he does n’t! All
the same, of course, from her point of view, you know,
she has a dread of my brother’s influence on
the child on the formation of his character,
of his principles. It is as if it were a subtle
poison, or a contagion, or something that would rub
off on Dolcino when his father kisses him or holds
him on his knee. If she could, she would prevent
Mark from ever touching him. Every one knows
it; visitors see it for themselves; so there is no
harm in my telling you. Isn’t it excessively
odd? It comes from Beatrice’s being so
religious, and so tremendously moral, and all that
and then, of course, we must n’t forget,”
my companion added, unexpectedly, “that some
of Mark’s ideas are well, really rather
queer!”
I reflected, as we went into the house,
where we found Ambient unfolding the Observer
at the breakfast-table, that none of them were probably
quite so queer as his sister. Mrs. Ambient did
not appear at breakfast, being rather tired with her
ministrations, during the night, to Dolcino.
Her husband mentioned, however, that she was hoping
to go to church. I afterwards learned that she
did go, but I may as well announce without delay that
he and I did not accompany her. It was while the
church-bell was murmuring in the distance that the
author of Beltraffio led me forth for the ramble
he had spoken of in his note. I will not attempt
to say where we went, or to describe what we saw.
We kept to the fields and copses and commons, and
breathed the same sweet air as the nibbling donkeys
and the browsing sheep, whose woolliness seemed to
me, in those early days of my acquaintance with English
objects, but a part of the general texture of the
small, dense landscape, which looked as if the harvest
were gathered by the shears. Everything was full
of expression for Mark Ambient’s visitor, from
the big, bandy-legged geese, whose whiteness was a
“note,” amid all the tones of green, as
they wandered beside a neat little oval pool, the
foreground of a thatched and whitewashed inn, with
a grassy approach and a pictorial sign, from
these humble wayside animals to the crests of high
woods which let a gable or a pinnacle peep here and
there, and looked, even at a distance, like trees
of good company, conscious of an individual profile.
I admired the hedgerows, I plucked the faint-hued
heather, and I was forever stopping to say how charming
I thought the thread-like footpaths across the fields,
which wandered, in a diagonal of finer grain, from
one smooth stile to another. Mark Ambient was
abundantly good-natured, and was as much entertained
with my observations as I was with the literary allusions
of the landscape. We sat and smoked upon stiles,
broaching paradoxes in the decent English air; we took
short cuts across a park or two, where the bracken
was deep and my companion nodded to the old woman
at the gate; we skirted rank covers, which rustled
here and there as wo passed, and we stretched
ourselves at last on a heathery hillside, where, if
the sun was not too hot, neither was the earth too
cold, and where the country lay beneath us in a rich
blue mist. Of course I had already told Ambient
what I thought of his new novel, having the previous
night read every word of the opening chapters before
I went to bed.
“I am not without hope of being
able to make it my best,” he said, as I went
back to the subject, while we turned up our heels to
the sky. “At least the people who dislike
my prose and there are a great many of
them, I believe will dislike this work most”
This was the first time I had heard him allude to
the people who couldn’t read him, a
class which is supposed always to sit heavy upon the
consciousness of the man of letters. A man organized
for literature, as Mark Ambient was, must certainly
have had the normal proportion of sensitiveness, of
irritability; the artistic ego, capable in some
cases of such monstrous development, must have been,
in his composition, sufficiently erect and definite.
I will not therefore go so far as to say that he never
thought of his detractors, or that he had any illusions
with regard to the number of his admirers (he could
never so far have deceived himself as to believe he
was popular); but I may at least affirm that adverse
criticism, as I had occasion to perceive later, ruffled
him visibly but little, that he had an air of thinking
it quite natural he should be offensive to many minds,
and that he very seldom talked about the newspapers,
which, by the way, were always very stupid in regard
to the author of Beltraffio. Of course
he may have thought about them the newspapers night
and day; the only point I wish to make is that he
did n’t show it; while, at the same time, he
did n’t strike one as a man who was on his guard.
I may add that, as regards his hope of making the
work on which he was then engaged the best of his books,
it was only partly carried out. That place belongs,
incontestably, to Beltraffio, in spite of the
beauty of certain parts of its successor. I am
pretty sure, however, that he had, at the moment of
which I speak, no sense of failure; he was in love
with his idea, which was indeed magnificent, and though
for him, as, I suppose, for every artist, the act
of execution had in it as much torment as joy, he saw
his work growing a little every day and filling-out
the largest plan he had yet conceived. “I
want to be truer than I have ever been,” he said,
settling himself on his back, with his hands clasped
behind his head; “I want to give an impression
of life itself. No, you may say what you will,
I have always arranged things too much, always smoothed
them down and rounded them off and tucked them in, done
everything to them that life does n’t do.
I have been a slave to the old superstitions.”
“You a slave, my dear Mark Ambient?
You have the freest imagination of our day!”
“All the more shame to me to
have done some of the things I have! The reconciliation
of the two women in Ginistrella, for instance,
which could never really have taken place. That
sort of thing is ignoble; I blush when I think of
it! This new affair must be a golden vessel,
filled with the purest distillation of the actual;
and oh, how it bothers me, the shaping of the vase the
hammering of the metal! I have to hammer it so
fine, so smooth; I don’t do more than an inch
or two a day. And all the while I have to be
so careful not to let a drop of the liquor escape!
When I see the kind of things that Life does, I despair
of ever catching her peculiar trick. She has an
impudence, life! If one risked a fiftieth part
of the effects she risks! It takes ever so long
to believe it. You don’t know yet, my dear
fellow. It is n’t till one has been watching
life for forty years that one finds out half of what
she’s up to! Therefore one’s earlier
things must inevitably contain a mass of rot.
And with what one sees, on one side, with its tongue
in its cheek, defying one to be real enough, and on
the other the bonnes gens rolling up their
eyes at one’s cynicism, the situation has elements
of the ludicrous which the artist himself is doubtless
in a position to appreciate better than any one else.
Of course one mustn’t bother about the bonnes
gens.” Mark Ambient went on, while my
thoughts reverted to his ladylike wife, as interpreted
by his remarkable sister.
“To sink your shaft deep, and
polish the plate through which people look into it that’s
what your work consists of,” I remember remarking.
“Ah, polishing one’s plate that
is the torment of execution!” he exclaimed,
jerking himself up and sitting forward. “The
effort to arrive at a surface if you think
a surface necessary some people don’t,
happily for them! My dear fellow, if you could
see the surface I dream of, as compared with the one
with which I have to content myself. Life is
really too short for art one hasn’t
time to make one’s shell ideally hard.
Firm and bright firm and bright! the
devilish thing has a way, sometimes, of being bright
without being firm. When I rap it with my knuckles
it doesn’t give the right sound. There are
horrible little flabby spots where I have taken the
second-best word, because I could n’t for the
life of me think of the best. If you knew how
stupid I am sometimes! They look to me now like
pimples and ulcers on the brow of beauty!”
“That’s very bad very
bad,” I said, as gravely as I could.
“Very bad? It’s the
highest social offence I know; it ought it
absolutely ought I’m quite serious to
be capital If I knew I should be hanged else, I should
manage to find the best word. The people who
could n’t some of them don’t
know it when they see it would shut their
inkstands, and we should n’t be deluged by this
flood of rubbish!”
I will not attempt to repeat everything
that passed between us, or to explain just how it
was that, every moment I spent in his company, Mark
Ambient revealed to me more and more that he looked
at all things from the standpoint of the artist, felt
all life as literary material There are people who
will tell me that this is a poor way of feeling it,
and I am not concerned to defend my statement, having
space merely to remark that there is something to
be said for any interest which makes a man feel so
much. If Mark Ambient did really, as I suggested
above, have imaginative contact with “all life,”
I, for my part, envy him his arrière-pensee.
At any rate it was through the receipt of this impression
of him that by the time we returned I had acquired
the feeling of intimacy I have noted. Before
we got up for the homeward stretch, he alluded to
his wife’s having once or perhaps
more than once asked him whether he should
like Dolcino to read Beltraffio. I think
he was unconscious at the moment of all that this conveyed
to me as well, doubtless, of my extreme
curiosity to hear what he had replied. He had
said that he hoped very much Dolcino would read all
his works when he was twenty; he should
like him to know what his father had done. Before
twenty it would be useless; he would n’t understand
them.
“And meanwhile do you propose
to hide them, to lock them up in a drawer?”
Mrs. Ambient had inquired.
“Oh, no; we must simply tell
him that they are not intended for small boys.
If you bring him up properly, after that he won t touch
them.”
To this Mrs. Ambient had made answer
that it would be very awkward when he was about fifteen;
and I asked her husband if it was his opinion in general,
then, that young people should not read novels.
“Good ones certainly
not!” said my companion. I suppose I had
had other views, for I remember saying that, for myself,
I was not sure it was bad for them, if the novels
were “good” enough. “Bad for
them, I don’t say so much!” Ambient
exclaimed. “But very bad, I am afraid, for
the novel!” That oblique, accidental allusion
to his wife’s attitude was followed by a franker
style of reference as we walked home. “The
difference between us is simply the opposition between
two distinct ways of looking at the world, which have
never succeeded in getting on together, or making any
kind of common ménage, since the beginning of
time. They have borne all sorts of names, and
my wife would tell you it’s the difference between
Christian and Pagan. I may be a pagan, but I don’t
like the name; it sounds sectarian. She thinks
me, at any rate, no better than an ancient Greek.
It’s the difference between making the most of
life and making the least, so that you ’ll get
another better one in some other time and place.
Will it be a sin to make the most of that one too,
I wonder; and shall we have to be bribed off in the
future state, as well as in the present? Perhaps
I care too much for beauty I don’t
know; I delight in it, I adore it, I think of it continually,
I try to produce it, to reproduce it. My wife
holds that we shouldn’t think too much about
it She’s always afraid of that, always on her
guard. I don’t know what she has got on
her back! And she’s so pretty, too, herself!
Don’t you think she’s lovely? She
was, at any rate, when I married her. At that
time I was n’t aware of that difference I speak
of I thought it all came to the same thing:
in the end, as they say. Well, perhaps it will,
in the end. I don’t know what the end will
be. Moreover, I care for seeing things as they
are; that’s the way I try to show them in my
novels. But you must n’t talk to Mrs. Ambient
about things as they are. She has a mortal dread
of things as they are.”
“She’s afraid of them
for Dolcino,” I said: surprised a moment
afterwards at being in a position thanks
to Miss Ambient to be so explanatory; and
surprised even now that Mark should n’t have
shown visibly that he wondered what the deuce I knew
about it But he did n’t; he simply exclaimed,
with a tenderness that touched me,
“Ah, nothing shall ever hurt
him!” He told me more about his wife
before we arrived at the gate of his house, and if
it be thought that he was querulous, I am afraid I
must admit that he had some of the foibles as well
as the gifts of the artistic temperament; adding, however,
instantly, that hitherto, to the best of my belief,
he had very rarely complained. “She thinks
me immoral that’s the long and short
of it,” he said, as we paused outside a moment,
and his hand rested on one of the bars of his gate;
while his conscious, demonstrative, expressive, perceptive
eyes, the eyes of a foreigner, I had begun
to account them, much more than of the usual Englishman, viewing
me now evidently as quite a familiar friend, took
part in the declaration. “It’s very
strange, when one thinks it all over, and there’s
a grand comicality in it which I should like to bring
out. She is a very nice woman, extraordinarily
well behaved, upright and clever, and with a tremendous
lot of good sense about a good many matters. Yet
her conception of a novel she has explained
it to me once or twice, and she does n’t do it
badly, as exposition is a thing so false
that it makes me blush. It is a thing so hollow,
so dishonest, so lying, in which life is so blinked
and blinded, so dodged and disfigured, that it makes
my ears burn. It’s two different ways of
looking at the whole affair,” he repeated, pushing
open the gate. “And they are irreconcilable!”
he added, with a sigh. We went forward to the
house, but on the walk, half way to the door, he stopped,
and said to me, “If you are going into this kind
of thing, there’s a fact you should know beforehand;
it may save you some disappointment. There’s
a hatred of art, there’s a hatred of literature!”
I looked up at the charming house, with its genial
color and crookedness, and I answered, with a smile,
that those evil passions might exist, but that I should
never have expected to find them there. “Oh,
it doesn’t matter, after all,” he said,
laughing; which I was glad to hear, for I was reproaching
myself with having excited him.
If I had, his excitement soon passed
off, for at lunch he was delightful; strangely delightful,
considering that the difference between himself and
his wife was, as he had said, irreconcilable.
He had the art, by his manner, by his smile, by his
natural kindliness, of reducing the importance of
it in the common concerns of life; and Mrs. Ambient,
I must add, lent herself to this transaction with a
very good grace. I watched her, at table, for
further illustrations of that fixed idea of which
Miss Ambient had spoken to me; for, in the light of
the united revelations of her sister-in-law and her
husband, she had come to seem to me a very singular
personage. I am obliged to say that the signs
of a fanatical temperament were not more striking in
my hostess than before; it was only after a while
that her air of incorruptible conformity, her tapering,
monosyllabic correctness, began to appear to be themselves
a cold, thin flame. Certainly, at first, she looked
like a woman with as few passions as possible; but
if she had a passion at all, it would be that of Philistinism.
She might have been for there are guardian-spirits,
I suppose, of all great principles the angel
of propriety. Mark Ambient, apparently, ten years
before, had simply perceived that she was an angel,
without asking himself of what He had been quite right
in calling my attention to her beauty. In looking
for the reason why he should have married her, I saw,
more than before, that she was, physically speaking,
a wonderfully cultivated human plant that
she must have given him many ideas and images.
It was impossible to be more pencilled, more garden-like,
more delicately tinted and petalled.
If I had had it in my heart to think
Ambient a little of a hypocrite for appearing to forget
at table everything he had said to me during our walk,
I should instantly have cancelled such a judgment,
on reflecting that the good news his wife was able
to give him about their little boy was reason enough
for his sudden air of happiness. It may have come
partly, too, from a certain remorse at having complained
to me of the fair lady who sat there, a
desire to show me that he was after all not so miserable.
Dolcino continued to be much better, and he had been
promised he should come downstairs after he had had
his dinner. As soon as we had risen from our
own meal Ambient slipped away, evidently for the purpose
of going to his child; and no sooner had I observed
this than I became aware that his wife had simultaneously
vanished. It happened that Miss Ambient and I,
both at the same moment, saw the tail of her dress
whisk out of a doorway, which led the young lady to
smile at me, as if I now knew all the secrets of the
Ambients. I passed with her into the garden,
and we sat down on a dear old bench which rested against
the west wall of the house. It was a perfect spot
for the middle period of a Sunday in June, and its
felicity seemed to come partly from an antique sun-dial
which, rising in front of us and forming the centre
of a small, intricate parterre, measured the moments
ever so slowly, and made them safe for leisure and
talk. The garden bloomed in the suffused afternoon,
the tall beeches stood still for an example, and, behind
and above us, a rose-tree of many seasons, clinging
to the faded grain of the brick, expressed the whole
character of the place in a familiar, exquisite smell.
It seemed to me a place for genius to have every sanction,
and not to encounter challenges and checks. Miss
Ambient asked me if I had enjoyed my walk with her
brother, and whether we had talked of many things.
“Well, of most things,”
I said, smiling, though I remembered that we had not
talked of Miss Ambient.
“And don’t you think some
of his theories are very peculiar?”
“Oh, I guess I agree with them
all.” I was very particular, for Miss Ambient’s
entertainment, to guess.
“Do you think art is everything?”
she inquired in, a moment.
“In art, of course I do!”
“And do you think beauty is everything?”
“I don’t know about its being everything.
But it’s very delightful”
“Of course it is difficult for
a woman to know how far to go,” said my companion.
“I adore everything that gives a charm to life.
I am intensely sensitive to form. But sometimes
I draw back don’t you see what I
mean? I don’t quite see where I shall
be landed. I only want to be quiet, after all,”
Miss Ambient continued, in a tone of stifled yearning
which seemed to indicate that she had not yet arrived
at her desire. “And one must be good, at
any rate, must not one?” she inquired, with
a cadence apparently intended for an assurance that
my answer would settle this recondite question for
her. It was difficult for me to make it very
original, and I am afraid I repaid her confidence with
an unblushing platitude. I remember, moreover,
appending to it an inquiry, equally destitute of freshness,
and still more wanting perhaps in tact, as to whether
she did not mean to go to church, as that was an obvious
way of being good. She replied that she had performed
this duty in the morning, and that for her, on Sunday
afternoon, supreme virtue consisted in answering the
week’s letters. Then suddenly, without transition,
she said to me, “It’s quite a mistake
about Dolcino being better. I have seen him,
and he’s not at all right.”
“Surely his mother would know, would n’t
she?” I suggested.
She appeared for a moment to be counting
the leaves on one of the great beeches. “As
regards most matters, one can easily say what, in a
given situation, my sister-in-law would do. But
as regards this one, there are strange elements at
work.”
“Strange elements? Do you mean in the constitution
of the child?”
“No, I mean in my sister-in-law’s feelings.”
“Elements of affection, of course;
elements of anxiety. Why do you call them strange?”
She repeated my words. “Elements
of affection, elements of anxiety. She is very
anxious.”
Miss Ambient made me vaguely uneasy;
she almost frightened me, and I wished she would go
and write her letters. “His father will
have seen him now,” I said, “and if he
is not satisfied he will send for the doctor.”
“The doctor ought to have been
here this morning. He lives only two miles away.”
I reflected that all this was very
possibly only a part of the general tragedy of Miss
Ambient’s view of things; but I asked her why
she had n’t urged such a necessity upon her
sister-in-law. She answered me with a smile of
extraordinary significance, and told me that I must
have very little idea of what her relations with Beatrice
were; but I must do her the justice to add that she
went on to make herself a little more comprehensible
by saying that it was quite reason enough for her sister
not to be alarmed that Mark would be sure to be.
He was always nervous about the child, and as they
were predestined by nature to take opposite views,
the only thing for Beatrice was to cultivate a false
optimism. If Mark were not there, she would not
be at all easy. I remembered what he had said
to me about their dealings with Dolcino, that
between them they would put an end to him; but I did
not repeat this to Miss Ambient: the less so
that just then her brother emerged from the house,
carrying his child in his arms. Close behind
him moved his wife, grave and pale; the boy’s
face was turned over Ambient’s shoulder, towards
his mother. We got up to receive the group, and
as they came near us Dolcino turned round. I
caught, on his enchanting little countenance, a smile
of recognition, and for the moment would have been
quite content with it. Miss Ambient, however,
received another impression, and I make haste to say
that her quick sensibility, in which there was something
maternal, argues that, in spite of her affectations,
there was a strain of kindness in her. “It
won’t do at all it won’t do
at all,” she said to me under her breath.
“I shall speak to Mark about the doctor.”
The child was rather white, but the
main difference I saw in him was that he was even
more beautiful than the day before. He had been
dressed in his festal garments, a velvet
suit and a crimson sash, and he looked
like a little invalid prince, too young to know condescension,
and smiling familiarly on his subjects.
“Put him down, Mark, he’s
not comfortable,” Mrs. Ambient said.
“Should you like to stand on
your feet, my boy?” his father asked.
“Oh, yes; I ’m remarkably well,”
said the child.
Mark placed him on the ground; he
had shining, pointed slippers, with enormous bows.
“Are you happy now, Mr. Ambient?”
“Oh, yes, I am particularly
happy,” Dolcino replied. The words were
scarcely out of his mouth when his mother caught him
up, and in a moment, holding him on her knees, she
took her place on the bench where Miss Ambient and
I had been sitting. This young lady said something
to her brother, in consequence of which the two wandered
away into the garden together. I remained with
Mrs. Ambient; but as a servant had brought out a couple
of chairs I was not obliged to seat myself beside
her. Our conversation was not animated, and I,
for my part, felt there would be a kind of hypocrisy
in my trying to make myself agreeable to Mrs. Ambient
I didn’t dislike her I rather admired
her; but I was aware that I differed from her inexpressibly.
Then I suspected, what I afterwards definitely knew
and have already intimated, that the poor lady had
taken a dislike to me; and this of course was not encouraging.
She thought me an obtrusive and even depraved young
man, whom a perverse Providence had dropped upon their
quiet lawn to flatter her husband’s worst tendencies.
She did me the honor to say to Miss Ambient, who repeated
the speech, that she didn’t know when she had
seen her husband take such a fancy to a visitor; and
she measured, apparently, my evil influence by Mark’s
appreciation of my society. I had a consciousness,
not yet acute, but quite sufficient, of all this; but
I must say that if it chilled my flow of small-talk,
it did n’t prevent me from thinking that the
beautiful mother and beautiful child, interlaced there
against their background of roses, made a picture
such as I perhaps should not soon see again.
I was free, I supposed, to go into the house and write
letters, to sit in the drawing-room, to repair to my
own apartment and take a nap; but the only use I made
of my freedom was to linger still in my chair and
say to myself that the light hand of Sir Joshua might
have painted Mark Ambient’s wife and son.
I found myself looking perpetually at Dolcino, and
Dolcino looked back at me, and that was enough to
detain me. When he looked at me he smiled, and
I felt it was an absolute impossibility to abandon
a child who was smiling at one like that. His
eyes never wandered; they attached themselves to mine,
as if among all the small incipient things of his
nature there was a desire to say something to me.
If I could have taken him upon my own knee, he perhaps
would have managed to say it; but it would have been
far too delicate a matter to ask his mother to give
him up, and it has remained a constant regret for
me that on that Sunday afternoon I did not, even for
a moment, hold Dolcino in my arms. He had said
that he felt remarkably well, and that he was especially
happy; but though he may have been happy, with his
charming head pillowed on his mother’s breast,
and his little crimson silk legs depending from her
lap, I did not think he looked well. He made
no attempt to walk about; he was content to swing
his legs softly and strike one as languid and angelic.
Mark came back to us with his sister;
and Miss Ambient, making some remark about having
to attend to her correspondence, passed into the house.
Mark came and stood in front of his wife, looking down
at the child, who immediately took hold of his hand,
keeping it while he remained. “I think
Ailingham ought to see him,” Ambient said; “I
think I will walk over and fetch him.”
“That ’s Gwendolen’s
idea, I suppose,” Mrs. Ambient replied, very
sweetly.
“It’s not such an out-of-the-way
idea, when one’s child is ill.”
“I ’m not ill, papa; I
’m much better now,” Dolcino remarked.
“Is that the truth, or are you
only saying it to be agreeable? You have a great
idea of being agreeable, you know.”
The boy seemed to meditate on this
distinction this imputation, for a moment; then his
exaggerated eyes, which had wandered, caught my own
as I watched him. “Do you think me
agreeable?” he inquired, with the candor of
his age, and with a smile that made his father turn
round to me, laughing, and ask, mutely, with a glance,
“Is n’t he adorable?”
“Then why don’t you hop
about, if you feel so lusty?” Ambient went on,
while the boy swung his hand.
“Because mamma is holding me close!”
“Oh, yes; I know how mamma holds
you when I come near!” Ambient exclaimed, looking
at his wife.
She turned her charming eyes up to
him, without deprecation or concession, and after
a moment she said, “You can go for Allingham
if you like, I think myself it would be better.
You ought to drive.”
“She says that to get me away,”
Ambient remarked to me, laughing; after which he started
for the doctor’s.
I remained there with Mrs. Ambient,
though our conversation had more pauses than speeches.
The boy’s little fixed white face seemed, as
before, to plead with me to stay, and after a while
it produced still another effect, a very curious one,
which I shall find it difficult to express. Of
course I expose myself to the charge of attempting
to give fantastic reasons for an act which may have
been simply the fruit of a native want of discretion;
and indeed the traceable consequences of that perversity
were too lamentable to leave me any desire to trifle
with the question. All I can say is that I acted
in perfect good faith, and that Dolcino’s friendly
little gaze gradually kindled the spark of my inspiration.
What helped it to glow were the other influences, the
silent, suggestive garden-nook, the perfect opportunity
(if it was not an opportunity for that, it was an
opportunity for nothing), and the plea that I speak
of, which issued from the child’s eyes, and seemed
to make him say, “The mother that bore me and
that presses me here to her bosom sympathetic
little organism that I am has really the
kind of sensibility which she has been represented
to you as lacking; if you only look for it patiently
and respectfully. How is it possible that she
should n’t have it? How is it possible that
I should have so much of it (for I am quite full of
it, dear, strange gentleman), if it were not also
in some degree in her? I am my father’s
child, but I am also my mother’s, and I am sorry
for the difference between them!” So it shaped
itself before me, the vision of reconciling Mrs. Ambient
with her husband, of putting an end to their great
disagreement The project was absurd, of course, for
had I not had his word for it spoken with
all the bitterness of experience that the
gulf that divided them was wellnigh bottomless?
Nevertheless, a quarter of an hour after Mark had
left us, I said to his wife that I could n’t
get over what she told me the night before about her
thinking her husband’s writings “objectionable.”
I had been so very sorry to hear it, had thought of
it constantly, and wondered whether it were not possible
to make her change her mind. Mrs. Ambient gave
me rather a cold stare; she seemed to be recommending
me to mind my own business. I wish I had taken
this mute counsel, but I did not. I went on to
remark that it seemed an immense pity so much that
was beautiful should be lost upon her.
“Nothing is lost upon me,”
said Mrs. Ambient “I know they are very beautiful.”
“Don’t you like papa’s
books?” Dolcino asked, addressing his mother,
but still looking at me. Then he added to me,
“Won’t you read them to me, American gentleman?”
“I would rather tell you some
stories of my own,” I said. “I know
some that are very interesting.” “When
will you tell them? To-morrow?” “To-morrow,
with pleasure, if that suits you.” Mrs.
Ambient was silent at this. Her husband, during
our walk, had asked me to remain another day; my promise
to her son was an implication that I had consented,
and it is not probable that the prospect was agreeable
to her. This ought, doubtless, to have made me
more careful as to what I said next; but all I can
say is that it did n’t. I presently observed
that just after leaving her the evening before, and
after hearing her apply to her husband’s writings
the epithet I had already quoted, I had, on going up
to my room, sat down to the perusal of those sheets
of his new book which he had been so good as to lend
me. I had sat entranced till nearly three in
the morning. I had read them twice over.
“You say you have n’t looked at them.
I think it ’s such a pity you should n’t
Do let me beg you to take them up. They are so
very remarkable. I ’m sure they will convert
you. They place him in really such
a dazzling light. All that is best in him is
there. I have no doubt it’s a great liberty,
my saying all this; but excuse me, and do read
them!”
“Do read them, mamma!” Dolcino repeated;
“do read them!”
She bent her head and closed his lips
with a kiss. “Of course I know he has worked
immensely over them,” she said; and after this
she made no remark, but sat there looking thoughtful,
with her eyes on the ground. The tone of these
last words was such as to leave me no spirit for further
pressure, and after expressing a fear that her husband
had not found the doctor at home, I got up and took
a turn about the grounds. When I came back, ten
minutes later, she was still in her place watching
her boy, who had fallen asleep in her lap. As
I drew near she put her finger to her lips, and a
moment afterwards she rose, holding the child, and
murmured something about its being better that he should
go upstairs. I offered to carry him, and held
out my hands to take him; but she thanked me and turned
away with the child seated on her arm, his head on
her shoulder. “I am very strong,”
she said, as she passed into the house, and her slim,
flexible figure bent backwards with the filial weight
So I never touched Dolcino.
I betook myself to Ambient’s
study, delighted to have a quiet hour to look over
his books by myself. The windows were open into
the garden; the sunny stillness, the mild light of
the English summer, filled the room, without quite
chasing away the rich dusky tone which was a part
of its charm, and which abode in the serried shelves
where old morocco exhaled the fragrance of curious
learning, and in the brighter intervals, where medals
and prints and miniatures were suspended upon a surface
of faded stuff. The place had both color and quiet;
I thought it a perfect room for work, and went so
far as to say to myself that, if it were mine to sit
and scribble in, there was no knowing but that I might
learn to write as well as the author of Beltraffio.
This distinguished man did not turn up, and I rummaged
freely among his treasures. At last I took down
a book that detained me awhile, and seated myself in
a fine old leather chair by the window to turn it
over. I had been occupied in this way for half-an-hour, a
good part of the afternoon had waned, when
I became conscious of another presence in the room,
and, looking up from my quarto, saw that Mrs. Ambient,
having pushed open the door in the same noiseless
way that marked, or disguised, her entrance the night
before, had advanced across the threshold. On
seeing me she stopped; she had not, I think, expected
to find me. But her hesitation was only of a
moment; she came straight to her husband’s writing-table
as if she were looking for something. I got up
and asked her if I could help her. She glanced
about an instant, and then put her hand upon a roll
of papers which I recognized, as I had placed it in
that spot in the morning on coming down from my room.
“Is this the new book?”
she asked, holding it up. “The very sheets,
with precious annotations.” “I mean
to take your advice;” and she tucked the little
bundle under her arm. I congratulated her cordially,
and ventured to make of my triumph, as I presumed
to call it, a subject of pleasantry. But she
was perfectly grave, and turned away from me, as she
had presented herself, without a smile; after which
I settled down to my quarto again, with the reflection
that Mrs. Ambient was a queer woman. My triumph,
too, suddenly seemed to me rather vain. A woman
who could n’t smile in the right place would
never understand Mark Ambient. He came in at
last in person, having brought the doctor back with
him. “He was away from home,” Mark
said, “and I went after him, to where he was
supposed to be. He had left the place, and I followed
him to two or three others, which accounts for my
delay.” He was now with Mrs. Ambient looking
at the child, and was to see Mark again before leaving
the house. My host noticed, at the end of ten
minutes, that the proof-sheets of his new book had
been removed from the table; and when I told him,
in reply to his question as to what I knew about them,
that Mrs. Ambient had carried them off to read, he
turned almost pale for an instant with surprise.
“What has suddenly made her so curious?”
he exclaimed; and I was obliged to tell him that I
was at the bottom of the mystery. I had had it
on my conscience to assure her that she really ought
to know of what her husband was capable. “Of
what I am capable? Elle ne s’en dottie que
trop!” said Ambient, with a laugh; but he
took my meddling very good-naturedly, and contented
himself with adding that he was very much afraid she
would burn up the sheets, with his emendations, of
which he had no duplicate. The doctor paid a
long visit in the nursery, and before he came down
I retired to my own quarters, where I remained till
dinner-time. On entering the drawing-room at this
hour, I found Miss Ambient in possession, as she had
been the evening before.
“I was right about Dolcino,”
she said, as soon as she saw me, with a strange little
air of triumph. “He is really very ill.”
“Very ill! Why, when I
last saw him, at four o’clock, he was in fairly
good form.”
“There has been a change for
the worse, very sudden and rapid, and when the doctor
got here he found diphtheritic symptoms. He ought
to have been called, as I knew, in the morning, and
the child ought n’t to have been brought into
the garden.”
“My dear lady, he was very happy
there,” I answered, much appalled.
“He would be happy anywhere.
I have no doubt he is happy now, with his poor little
throat in a state ” she dropped her
voice as her brother came in, and Mark let us know
that, as a matter of course, Mrs. Ambient would not
appear. It was true that Dolcino had developed
diphtheritic symptoms, but he was quiet for the present,
and his mother was earnestly watching him. She
was a perfect nurse, Mark said, and the doctor was
coming back at ten o’clock. Our dinner was
not very gay; Ambient was anxious and alarmed, and
his sister irritated me by her constant tacit assumption,
conveyed in the very way she nibbled her bread and
sipped her wine, of having “told me so.”
I had had no disposition to deny anything she told
me, and I could not see that her satisfaction in being
justified by the event made poor Dolcino’s throat
any better. The truth is that, as the sequel
proved, Miss Ambient had some of the qualities of
the sibyl, and had therefore, perhaps, a right to the
sibylline contortions. Her brother was so preoccupied
that I felt my presence to be an indiscretion, and
was sorry I had promised to remain over the morrow.
I said to Mark that, evidently, I had better leave
them in the morning; to which he replied that, on
the contrary, if he was to pass the next days in the
fidgets, my company would be an extreme relief to
him. The fidgets had already begun for him, poor
fellow; and as we sat in his study with our cigars
after dinner, he wandered to the door whenever he
heard the sound of the doctor’s wheels.
Miss Ambient, who shared this apartment with us, gave
me at such moments significant glances; she had gone
upstairs before rejoining us to ask after the child
His mother and his nurse gave a tolerable account of
him; but Miss Ambient found his fever high and his
symptoms very grave. The doctor came at ten o’clock,
and I went to bed after hearing from Mark that he
saw no present cause for alarm. He had made every
provision for the night, and was to return early in
the morning.
I quitted my room at eight o’clock
the next day, and, as I came downstairs, saw, through
the open door of the house, Mrs. Ambient standing
at the front gate of the grounds, in colloquy with
the physician. She wore a white dressing-gown,
but her shining hair was carefully tucked away in
its net, and in the freshness of the morning, after
a night of watching, she looked as much “the
type of the lady” as her sister-in-law had described
her. Her appearance, I suppose, ought to have
reassured me; but I was still nervous and uneasy, so
that I shrank from meeting her with the necessary
question about Dolcino. None the less, however,
was I impatient to learn how the morning found him;
and, as Mrs. Ambient had not seen me, I passed into
the grounds by a roundabout way, and, stopping at
a further gate, hailed the doctor just as he was driving
away. Mrs. Ambient had returned to the house before
he got into his gig.
“Excuse me, but as a friend
of the family, I should like very much to hear about
the little boy.”
The doctor, who was a stout, sharp
man, looked at me from head to foot, and then he said,
“I’m sorry to say I have n’t seen
him.”
“Have n’t seen him?”
“Mrs. Ambient came down to meet
me as I alighted, and told me that he was sleeping
so soundly, after a restless night, that she did n’t
wish him disturbed. I assured her I would n’t
disturb him, but she said he was quite safe now and
she could look after him herself.”
“Thank you very much. Are you coming back?”
“No, sir; I ’ll be hanged
if I come back!” exclaimed Dr. Allingham, who
was evidently very angry. And he started his horse
again with the whip.
I wandered back into the garden, and
five minutes later Miss Ambient came forth from the
house to greet me. She explained that breakfast
would not be served for some time, and that she wished
to catch the doctor before he went away. I informed
her that this functionary had come and departed, and
I repeated to her what he had told me about his dismissal.
This made Miss Ambient very serious, very serious indeed,
and she sank into a bench, with dilated eyes, hugging
her elbows with crossed arms. She indulged in
many ejaculations, she confessed that she was infinitely
perplexed, and she finally told me what her own last
news of her nephew had been. She had sat up very
late, after me, after Mark, and
before going to bed had knocked at the door of the
child’s room, which was opened to her by the
nurse. This good woman had admitted her, and
she had found Dolcino quiet, but flushed and “unnatural,”
with his mother sitting beside his bed. “She
held his hand in one of hers,” said Miss Ambient,
“and in the other what do you think? the
proof-sheets of Mark’s new book! She was
reading them there, intently: did you ever hear
of anything so extraordinary? Such a very odd
time to be reading an author whom she never could
abide!” In her agitation Miss Ambient was guilty
of this vulgarism of speech, and I was so impressed
by her narrative that it was only in recalling her
words later that I noticed the lapse. Mrs. Ambient
had looked up from her reading with her finger on
her lips I recognized the gesture she had
addressed to me in the afternoon and, though
the nurse was about to go to rest, had not encouraged
her sister-in-law to relieve her of any part of her
vigil. But certainly, then, Dolcino’s condition
was far from reassuring, his poor little
breathing was most painful; and what change could have
taken place in him in those few hours that would justify
Beatrice in denying the physician access to him?
This was the moral of Miss Ambient’s anecdote,
the moral for herself at least. The moral for
me, rather, was that it was a very singular
time for Mrs. Ambient to be going into a novelist
she had never appreciated, and who had simply happened
to be recommended to her by a young American she disliked.
I thought of her sitting there in the sick-chamber
in the still hours of the night, after the nurse had
left her, turning over those pages of genius and wrestling
with their magical influence.
I must relate very briefly the circumstances
of the rest of my visit to Mark Ambient, it
lasted but a few hours longer, and devote
but three words to my later acquaintance with him.
That lasted five years, till his death, and
was full of interest, of satisfaction, and, I may add,
of sadness. The main thing to be said with regard
to it, is that I had a secret from him. I believe
he never suspected it, though of this I am not absolutely
sure. If he did, the line he had taken, the line
of absolute negation of the matter to himself, shows
an immense effort of the will. I may tell my
secret now, giving it for what it is worth, now that
Mark Ambient has gone, that he has begun to be alluded
to as one of the famous early dead, and that his wife
does not survive him; now, too, that Miss Ambient,
whom I also saw at intervals during the years that
followed, has, with her embroideries and her attitudes,
her necromantic glances and strange intuitions, retired
to a Sisterhood, where, as I am told, she is deeply
immured and quite lost to the world.
Mark came in to breakfast after his
sister and I had for some time been seated there.
He shook hands with me in silence, kissed his sister,
opened his letters and newspapers, and pretended to
drink his coffee. But I could see that these
movements were mechanical, and I was little surprised
when, suddenly, he pushed away everything that was
before him, and, with his head in his hands and his
elbows on the table, sat staring strangely at the
cloth.
“What is the matter, fratello
mio?” Miss Ambient inquired, peeping from
behind the urn.
He answered nothing, but got up with
a certain violence and strode to the window.
We rose to our feet, his sister and I, by a common
impulse, exchanging a glance of some alarm, while
he stared for a moment into the garden. “In
Heaven’s name what has got possession of Beatrice?”
he cried at last, turning round with an almost haggard
face. And he looked from one of us to the other;
the appeal was addressed to me as well as to his sister.
Miss Ambient gave a shrug. “My
poor Mark, Beatrice is always Beatrice!”
“She has locked herself up with
the boy bolted and barred the door; she
refuses to let me come near him!” Ambient went
on.
“She refused to let the doctor
see him an hour ago!” Miss Ambient remarked,
with intention, as they say on the stage.
“Refused to let the doctor see
him? By heaven, I ’ll smash in the door!”
And Mark brought his fist down upon the table, so that
all the breakfast-service rang.
I begged Miss Ambient to go up and
try to have speech of her sister-in-law, and I drew
Mark out into the garden. “You ’re
exceedingly nervous, and Mrs. Ambient is probably
right,” I said to him. “Women know;
women should be supreme in such a situation. Trust
a mother a devoted mother, my dear friend!”
With such words as these I tried to soothe and comfort
him, and, marvellous to relate, I succeeded, with the
help of many cigarettes, in making him walk about the
garden and talk, or listen at least to my own ingenious
chatter, for nearly an hour. At the end of this
time Miss Ambient returned to us, with a very rapid
step, holding her hand to her heart.
“Go for the doctor, Mark, go for the doctor
this moment!”
“Is he dying? Has she killed
him?” poor Ambient cried, flinging away his
cigarette.
“I don’t know what she
has done! But she’s frightened, and now
she wants the doctor.”
“He told me he would be hanged
if he came back!” I felt myself obliged to announce.
“Precisely therefore
Mark himself must go for him, and not a messenger.
You must see him, and tell him it ’s to save
your child. The trap has been ordered it’s
ready.”
“To save him? I ’ll
save him, please God!” Ambient cried, bounding
with his great strides across the lawn.
As soon as he had gone I felt that
I ought to have volunteered in his place, and I said
as much to Miss Ambient; but she checked me by grasping
my arm quickly, while we heard the wheels of the dog-cart
rattle away from the gate. “He’s off he’s
off and now I can think! To get him
away while I think while I think!”
“While you think of what, Miss Ambient?”
“Of the unspeakable thing that has happened
under this roof!”
Her manner was habitually that of
such a prophetess of ill that my first impulse was
to believe I must allow here for a great exaggeration.
But in a moment I saw that her emotion was real.
“Dolcino is dying then, he
is dead?”
“It’s too late to save
him. His mother has let him die! I tell you
that because you are sympathetic, because you have
imagination,” Miss Ambient was good enough to
add, interrupting my expression of horror. “That’s
why you had the idea of making her read Mark’s
new book!”
“What has that to do with it?
I don’t understand you; your accusation is monstrous.”
“I see it all; I’m not
stupid,” Miss Ambient went on, heedless of the
harshness of my tone. “It was the book that
finished her; it was that decided her!”
“Decided her? Do you mean
she has murdered her child?” I demanded, trembling
at my own words.
“She sacrificed him; she determined
to do nothing to make him live. Why else did
she lock herself up, why else did she turn away the
doctor? The book gave her a horror; she determined
to rescue him, to prevent him from ever
being touched. He had a crisis at two o’clock
in the morning. I know that from the nurse, who
had left her then, but whom, for a short time, she
called back. Dolcino got much worse, but she insisted
on the nurse’s going back to bed, and after
that she was alone with him for hours.”
“Do you pretend that she has no pity, that she’s
insane?”
“She held him in her arms, she
pressed him to her breast, not to see him; but she
gave him no remedies; she did nothing the doctor ordered.
Everything is there, untouched. She has had the
honesty not even to throw the drugs away!”
I dropped upon the nearest bench,
overcome with wonder and agitation, quite as much
at Miss Armbient’s terrible lucidity as at the
charge she made against her sister-in-law. There
was an amazing coherency in her story, and it was
dreadful to me to see myself figuring in it as so
proximate a cause.
“You are a very strange woman,
and you say strange things.”
“You think it necessary to protest,
but you are quite ready to believe me. You have
received an impression of my sister-in-law, you have
guessed of what she is capable.”
I do not feel bound to say what concession,
on this point, I made to Miss Ambient, who went on
to relate to me that within the last half-hour Beatrice
had had a revulsion; that she was tremendously frightened
at what she had done; that her fright itself betrayed
her; and that she would now give heaven and earth
to save the child. “Let us hope she will!”
I said, looking at my watch and trying to time poor
Ambient; whereupon my companion repeated, in a singular
tone, “Let us hope so!” When I asked her
if she herself could do nothing, and whether she ought
not to be with her sister-in-law, she replied, “You
had better go and judge; she is like a wounded tigress!”
I never saw Mrs. Ambient till six
months after this, and therefore cannot pretend to
have verified the comparison. At the latter period
she was again the type of the lady. “She’ll
treat him better after this,” I remember Miss
Ambient saying, in response to some quick outburst
(on my part) of compassion for her brother. Although
I had been in the house but thirty-six hours, this
young lady had treated me with extraordinary confidence,
and there was therefore a certain demand which, as
an intimate, I might make of her. I extracted
from her a pledge that she would never say to her
brother what she had just said to me; she would leave
him to form his own theory of his wife’s conduct.
She agreed with me that there was misery enough in
the house, without her contributing a new anguish,
and that Mrs. Ambient’s proceedings might be
explained, to her husband’s mind, by the extravagance
of a jealous devotion. Poor Mark came back with
the doctor much sooner than we could have hoped, but
we knew, five minutes afterwards, that they arrived
too late. Poor little Dolcino was more exquisitely
beautiful in death than he had been in life.
Mrs. Ambient’s grief was frantic; she lost her
head and said strange things. As for Mark’s but
I will not speak of that. Basta, as he used
to say. Miss Ambient kept her secret, I
have already had occasion to say that she had her
good points, but it rankled in her conscience
like a guilty participation, and, I imagine, had something
to do with her retiring ultimately to a Sisterhood.
And, a propos of consciences, the reader is
now in a position to judge of my compunction for my
effort to convert Mrs. Ambient. I ought to mention
that the death of her child in some degree converted
her. When the new book came out it
was long delayed she read it over as a whole,
and her husband told me that a few months before her
death, she failed rapidly after losing
her son, sank into a consumption, and faded away at
Mentone, during those few supreme weeks
she even dipped into Beltraffio.