By
Henry James
Florence, April 5th, 1874. They
told me I should find Italy greatly changed; and in
seven-and-twenty years there is room for changes.
But to me everything is so perfectly the same that
I seem to be living my youth over again; all the forgotten
impressions of that enchanting time come back to me.
At the moment they were powerful enough; but they
afterwards faded away. What in the world became
of them? Whatever becomes of such things, in
the long intervals of consciousness? Where do
they hide themselves away? in what unvisited cupboards
and crannies of our being do they preserve themselves?
They are like the lines of a letter written in sympathetic
ink; hold the letter to the fire for a while and the
grateful warmth brings out the invisible words.
It is the warmth of this yellow sun of Florence that
has been restoring the text of my own young romance;
the thing has been lying before me today as a clear,
fresh page. There have been moments during the
last ten years when I have fell so portentously old,
so fagged and finished, that I should have taken as
a very bad joke any intimation that this present sense
of juvenility was still in store for me. It
won’t last, at any rate; so I had better make
the best of it. But I confess it surprises me.
I have led too serious a life; but that perhaps,
after all, preserves one’s youth. At all
events, I have travelled too far, I have worked too
hard, I have lived in brutal climates and associated
with tiresome people. When a man has reached
his fifty-second year without being, materially, the
worse for wear when he has fair health,
a fair fortune, a tidy conscience and a complete exemption
from embarrassing relatives I suppose he
is bound, in delicacy, to write himself happy.
But I confess I shirk this obligation. I have
not been miserable; I won’t go so far as to say
that or at least as to write it.
But happiness positive happiness would
have been something different. I don’t
know that it would have been better, by all measurements that
it would have left me better off at the present time.
But it certainly would have made this difference that
I should not have been reduced, in pursuit of pleasant
images, to disinter a buried episode of more than
a quarter of a century ago. I should have found
entertainment more what shall I call it? more
contemporaneous. I should have had a wife and
children, and I should not be in the way of making,
as the French say, infidelities to the present.
Of course it’s a great gain to have had an
escape, not to have committed an act of thumping folly;
and I suppose that, whatever serious step one might
have taken at twenty-five, after a struggle, and with
a violent effort, and however one’s conduct
might appear to be justified by events, there would
always remain a certain element of regret; a certain
sense of loss lurking in the sense of gain; a tendency
to wonder, rather wishfully, what might have
been. What might have been, in this case, would,
without doubt, have been very sad, and what has been
has been very cheerful and comfortable; but there
are nevertheless two or three questions I might ask
myself. Why, for instance, have I never married why
have I never been able to care for any woman as I cared
for that one? Ah, why are the mountains blue
and why is the sunshine warm? Happiness mitigated
by impertinent conjectures that’s
about my ticket.
6th. I knew it wouldn’t
last; it’s already passing away. But I
have spent a delightful day; I have been strolling
all over the place. Everything reminds me of
something else, and yet of itself at the same time;
my imagination makes a great circuit and comes back
to the starting-point. There is that well-remembered
odour of spring in the air, and the flowers, as they
used to be, are gathered into great sheaves and stacks,
all along the rugged base of the Strozzi Palace.
I wandered for an hour in the Boboli Gardens; we
went there several times together. I remember
all those days individually; they seem to me as yesterday.
I found the corner where she always chose to sit the
bench of sun-warmed marble, in front of the screen
of ilex, with that exuberant statue of Pomona just
beside it. The place is exactly the same, except
that poor Pomona has lost one of her tapering fingers.
I sat there for half an hour, and it was strange
how near to me she seemed. The place was perfectly
empty that is, it was filled with her.
I closed my eyes and listened; I could almost hear
the rustle of her dress on the gravel. Why do
we make such an ado about death? What is it,
after all, but a sort of refinement of life?
She died ten years ago, and yet, as I sat there in
the sunny stillness, she was a palpable, audible presence.
I went afterwards into the gallery of the palace,
and wandered for an hour from room to room.
The same great pictures hung in the same places, and
the same dark frescoes arched above them. Twice,
of old, I went there with her; she had a great understanding
of art. She understood all sorts of things.
Before the Madonna of the Chair I stood a long time.
The face is not a particle like hers, and yet it
reminded me of her. But everything does that.
We stood and looked at it together once for half
an hour; I remember perfectly what she said.
8th. Yesterday I felt blue blue
and bored; and when I got up this morning I had half
a mind to leave Florence. But I went out into
the street, beside the Arno, and looked up and down looked
at the yellow river and the violet hills, and then
decided to remain or rather, I decided
nothing. I simply stood gazing at the beauty
of Florence, and before I had gazed my fill I was
in good-humour again, and it was too late to start
for Rome. I strolled along the quay, where something
presently happened that rewarded me for staying.
I stopped in front of a little jeweller’s shop,
where a great many objects in mosaic were exposed
in the window; I stood there for some minutes I
don’t know why, for I have no taste for mosaic.
In a moment a little girl came and stood beside me a
little girl with a frowsy Italian head, carrying a
basket. I turned away, but, as I turned, my
eyes happened to fall on her basket. It was
covered with a napkin, and on the napkin was pinned
a piece of paper, inscribed with an address.
This address caught my glance there was
a name on it I knew. It was very legibly written evidently
by a scribe who had made up in zeal what was lacking
in skill. Contessa Salvi-Scarabelli, Via Ghibellina so
ran the superscription; I looked at it for some moments;
it caused me a sudden emotion. Presently the
little girl, becoming aware of my attention, glanced
up at me, wondering, with a pair of timid brown eyes.
“Are you carrying your basket
to the Countess Salvi?” I asked.
The child stared at me. “To the Countess
Scarabelli.”
“Do you know the Countess?”
“Know her?” murmured the child, with an
air of small dismay.
“I mean, have you seen her?”
“Yes, I have seen her.”
And then, in a moment, with a sudden soft smile “E
bella!” said the little girl. She was
beautiful herself as she said it.
“Precisely; and is she fair or dark?”
The child kept gazing at me. “Bionda bionda,”
she answered, looking about into the golden sunshine
for a comparison.
“And is she young?”
“She is not young like me.
But she is not old like like ”
“Like me, eh? And is she married?”
The little girl began to look wise.
“I have never seen the Signor Conte.”
“And she lives in Via Ghibellina?”
“Sicuro. In a beautiful palace.”
I had one more question to ask, and
I pointed it with certain copper coins. “Tell
me a little is she good?”
The child inspected a moment the contents
of her little brown fist. “It’s
you who are good,” she answered.
“Ah, but the Countess?” I repeated.
My informant lowered her big brown
eyes, with an air of conscientious meditation that
was inexpressibly quaint. “To me she appears
so,” she said at last, looking up.
“Ah, then, she must be so,”
I said, “because, for your age, you are very
intelligent.” And having delivered myself
of this compliment I walked away and left the little
girl counting her soldi.
I walked back to the hotel, wondering
how I could learn something about the Contessa Salvi-Scarabelli.
In the doorway I found the innkeeper, and near him
stood a young man whom I immediately perceived to be
a compatriot, and with whom, apparently, he had been
in conversation.
“I wonder whether you can give
me a piece of information,” I said to the landlord.
“Do you know anything about the Count Salvi-Scarabelli?”
The landlord looked down at his boots,
then slowly raised his shoulders, with a melancholy
smile. “I have many regrets, dear sir ”
“You don’t know the name?”
“I know the name, assuredly. But I don’t
know the gentleman.”
I saw that my question had attracted
the attention of the young Englishman, who looked
at me with a good deal of earnestness. He was
apparently satisfied with what he saw, for he presently
decided to speak.
“The Count Scarabelli is dead,” he said,
very gravely.
I looked at him a moment; he was a
pleasing young fellow. “And his widow
lives,” I observed, “in Via Ghibellina?”
“I daresay that is the name
of the street.” He was a handsome young
Englishman, but he was also an awkward one; he wondered
who I was and what I wanted, and he did me the honour
to perceive that, as regards these points, my appearance
was reassuring. But he hesitated, very properly,
to talk with a perfect stranger about a lady whom he
knew, and he had not the art to conceal his hesitation.
I instantly felt it to be singular that though he
regarded me as a perfect stranger, I had not the same
feeling about him. Whether it was that I had
seen him before, or simply that I was struck with
his agreeable young face at any rate, I
felt myself, as they say here, in sympathy with him.
If I have seen him before I don’t remember
the occasion, and neither, apparently, does he; I
suppose it’s only a part of the feeling I have
had the last three days about everything. It
was this feeling that made me suddenly act as if I
had known him a long time.
“Do you know the Countess Salvi?” I asked.
He looked at me a little, and then,
without resenting the freedom of my question “The
Countess Scarabelli, you mean,” he said.
“Yes,” I answered; “she’s
the daughter.”
“The daughter is a little girl.”
“She must be grown up now. She must be let
me see close upon thirty.”
My young Englishman began to smile. “Of
whom are you speaking?”
“I was speaking of the daughter,”
I said, understanding his smile. “But
I was thinking of the mother.”
“Of the mother?”
“Of a person I knew twenty-seven
years ago the most charming woman I have
ever known. She was the Countess Salvi she
lived in a wonderful old house in Via Ghibellina.”
“A wonderful old house!” my young Englishman
repeated.
“She had a little girl,”
I went on; “and the little girl was very fair,
like her mother; and the mother and daughter had the
same name Bianca.” I stopped
and looked at my companion, and he blushed a little.
“And Bianca Salvi,” I continued, “was
the most charming woman in the world.”
He blushed a little more, and I laid my hand on his
shoulder. “Do you know why I tell you
this? Because you remind me of what I was when
I knew her when I loved her.”
My poor young Englishman gazed at me with a sort
of embarrassed and fascinated stare, and still I went
on. “I say that’s the reason I told
you this but you’ll think it a strange
reason. You remind me of my younger self.
You needn’t resent that I was a
charming young fellow. The Countess Salvi thought
so. Her daughter thinks the same of you.”
Instantly, instinctively, he raised his hand to my
arm. “Truly?”
“Ah, you are wonderfully like
me!” I said, laughing. “That was
just my state of mind. I wanted tremendously
to please her.” He dropped his hand and
looked away, smiling, but with an air of ingenuous
confusion which quickened my interest in him.
“You don’t know what to make of me,”
I pursued. “You don’t know why a
stranger should suddenly address you in this way and
pretend to read your thoughts. Doubtless you
think me a little cracked. Perhaps I am eccentric;
but it’s not so bad as that. I have lived
about the world a great deal, following my profession,
which is that of a soldier. I have been in India,
in Africa, in Canada, and I have lived a good deal
alone. That inclines people, I think, to sudden
bursts of confidence. A week ago I came into
Italy, where I spent six months when I was your age.
I came straight to Florence I was eager
to see it again, on account of associations.
They have been crowding upon me ever so thickly.
I have taken the liberty of giving you a hint of
them.” The young man inclined himself a
little, in silence, as if he had been struck with
a sudden respect. He stood and looked away for
a moment at the river and the mountains. “It’s
very beautiful,” I said.
“Oh, it’s enchanting,” he murmured.
“That’s the way I used to talk.
But that’s nothing to you.”
He glanced at me again. “On the contrary,
I like to hear.”
“Well, then, let us take a walk.
If you too are staying at this inn, we are fellow-travellers.
We will walk down the Arno to the Cascine. There
are several things I should like to ask of you.”
My young Englishman assented with
an air of almost filial confidence, and we strolled
for an hour beside the river and through the shady
alleys of that lovely wilderness. We had a great
deal of talk: it’s not only myself, it’s
my whole situation over again.
“Are you very fond of Italy?” I asked.
He hesitated a moment. “One can’t
express that.”
“Just so; I couldn’t express
it. I used to try I used to write
verses. On the subject of Italy I was very ridiculous.”
“So am I ridiculous,” said my companion.
“No, my dear boy,” I answered,
“we are not ridiculous; we are two very reasonable,
superior people.”
“The first time one comes as I have
done it’s a revelation.”
“Oh, I remember well; one never
forgets it. It’s an introduction to beauty.”
“And it must be a great pleasure,” said
my young friend, “to come back.”
“Yes, fortunately the beauty
is always here. What form of it,” I asked,
“do you prefer?”
My companion looked a little mystified;
and at last he said, “I am very fond of the
pictures.”
“So was I. And among the pictures,
which do you like best?”
“Oh, a great many.”
“So did I; but I had certain favourites.”
Again the young man hesitated a little,
and then he confessed that the group of painters he
preferred, on the whole, to all others, was that of
the early Florentines.
I was so struck with this that I stopped
short. “That was exactly my taste!”
And then I passed my hand into his arm and we went
our way again.
We sat down on an old stone bench
in the Cascine, and a solemn blank-eyed Hermes, with
wrinkles accentuated by the dust of ages, stood above
us and listened to our talk.
“The Countess Salvi died ten years ago,”
I said.
My companion admitted that he had heard her daughter
say so.
“After I knew her she married
again,” I added. “The Count Salvi
died before I knew her a couple of years
after their marriage.”
“Yes, I have heard that.”
“And what else have you heard?”
My companion stared at me; he had evidently heard
nothing.
“She was a very interesting
woman there are a great many things to be
said about her. Later, perhaps, I will tell you.
Has the daughter the same charm?”
“You forget,” said my
young man, smiling, “that I have never seen the
mother.”
“Very true. I keep confounding.
But the daughter how long have you known
her?”
“Only since I have been here. A very short
time.”
“A week?”
For a moment he said nothing. “A month.”
“That’s just the answer
I should have made. A week, a month it
was all the same to me.”
“I think it is more than a month,” said
the young man.
“It’s probably six. How did you
make her acquaintance?”
“By a letter an introduction given
me by a friend in England.”
“The analogy is complete,”
I said. “But the friend who gave me my
letter to Madame de Salvi died many years ago.
He, too, admired her greatly. I don’t
know why it never came into my mind that her daughter
might be living in Florence. Somehow I took
for granted it was all over. I never thought
of the little girl; I never heard what had become of
her. I walked past the palace yesterday and
saw that it was occupied; but I took for granted it
had changed hands.”
“The Countess Scarabelli,”
said my friend, “brought it to her husband as
her marriage-portion.”
“I hope he appreciated it!
There is a fountain in the court, and there is a
charming old garden beyond it. The Countess’s
sitting-room looks into that garden. The staircase
is of white marble, and there is a medallion by Luca
della Robbia set into the wall at the place where
it makes a bend. Before you come into the drawing-room
you stand a moment in a great vaulted place hung round
with faded tapestry, paved with bare tiles, and furnished
only with three chairs. In the drawing-room,
above the fireplace, is a superb Andrea del
Sarto. The furniture is covered with pale sea-green.”
My companion listened to all this.
“The Andrea del Sarto
is there; it’s magnificent. But the furniture
is in pale red.”
“Ah, they have changed it, then in
twenty-seven years.”
“And there’s a portrait of Madame de Salvi,”
continued my friend.
I was silent a moment. “I should like
to see that.”
He too was silent. Then he asked,
“Why don’t you go and see it? If
you knew the mother so well, why don’t you call
upon the daughter?”
“From what you tell me I am afraid.”
“What have I told you to make you afraid?”
I looked a little at his ingenuous
countenance. “The mother was a very dangerous
woman.”
The young Englishman began to blush
again. “The daughter is not,” he
said.
“Are you very sure?”
He didn’t say he was sure, but
he presently inquired in what way the Countess Salvi
had been dangerous.
“You must not ask me that,”
I answered “for after all, I desire to remember
only what was good in her.” And as we walked
back I begged him to render me the service of mentioning
my name to his friend, and of saying that I had known
her mother well, and that I asked permission to come
and see her.
9th. I have seen that poor
boy half a dozen times again, and a most amiable young
fellow he is. He continues to represent to me,
in the most extraordinary manner, my own young identity;
the correspondence is perfect at all points, save
that he is a better boy than I. He is evidently acutely
interested in his Countess, and leads quite the same
life with her that I led with Madame de Salvi.
He goes to see her every evening and stays half the
night; these Florentines keep the most extraordinary
hours. I remember, towards 3 A.M., Madame de
Salvi used to turn me out. “Come,
come,” she would say, “it’s time
to go. If you were to stay later people might
talk.” I don’t know at what time
he comes home, but I suppose his evening seems as
short as mine did. Today he brought me a message
from his Contessa a very gracious little
speech. She remembered often to have heard her
mother speak of me she called me her English
friend. All her mother’s friends were dear
to her, and she begged I would do her the honour to
come and see her. She is always at home of an
evening. Poor young Stanmer (he is of the Devonshire
Stanmers a great property) reported this
speech verbatim, and of course it can’t in the
least signify to him that a poor grizzled, battered
soldier, old enough to be his father, should come to
call upon his inammorata. But I remember
how it used to matter to me when other men came; that’s
a point of difference. However, it’s only
because I’m so old. At twenty-five I shouldn’t
have been afraid of myself at fifty-two. Camerino
was thirty-four and then the others!
She was always at home in the evening, and they all
used to come. They were old Florentine names.
But she used to let me stay after them all; she thought
an old English name as good. What a transcendent
coquette! . . . But basta così as she
used to say. I meant to go tonight to Casa Salvi,
but I couldn’t bring myself to the point.
I don’t know what I’m afraid of; I used
to be in a hurry enough to go there once. I
suppose I am afraid of the very look of the place of
the old rooms, the old walls. I shall go tomorrow
night. I am afraid of the very echoes.
10th. She has the most
extraordinary resemblance to her mother. When
I went in I was tremendously startled; I stood starting
at her. I have just come home; it is past midnight;
I have been all the evening at Casa Salvi. It
is very warm my window is open I
can look out on the river gliding past in the starlight.
So, of old, when I came home, I used to stand and
look out. There are the same cypresses on the
opposite hills.
Poor young Stanmer was there, and
three or four other admirers; they all got up when
I came in. I think I had been talked about, and
there was some curiosity. But why should I have
been talked about? They were all youngish men none
of them of my time. She is a wonderful likeness
of her mother; I couldn’t get over it.
Beautiful like her mother, and yet with the same
faults in her face; but with her mother’s perfect
head and brow and sympathetic, almost pitying, eyes.
Her face has just that peculiarity of her mother’s,
which, of all human countenances that I have ever
known, was the one that passed most quickly and completely
from the expression of gaiety to that of repose.
Repose in her face always suggested sadness; and
while you were watching it with a kind of awe, and
wondering of what tragic secret it was the token, it
kindled, on the instant, into a radiant Italian smile.
The Countess Scarabelli’s smiles tonight, however,
were almost uninterrupted. She greeted me divinely,
as her mother used to do; and young Stanmer sat in
the corner of the sofa as I used to do and
watched her while she talked. She is thin and
very fair, and was dressed in light, vaporous black
that completes the resemblance. The house, the
rooms, are almost absolutely the same; there may be
changes of detail, but they don’t modify the
general effect. There are the same precious
pictures on the walls of the salon the same
great dusky fresco in the concave ceiling. The
daughter is not rich, I suppose, any more than the
mother. The furniture is worn and faded, and
I was admitted by a solitary servant, who carried a
twinkling taper before me up the great dark marble
staircase.
“I have often heard of you,”
said the Countess, as I sat down near her; “my
mother often spoke of you.”
“Often?” I answered. “I am
surprised at that.”
“Why are you surprised? Were you not good
friends?”
“Yes, for a certain time very
good friends. But I was sure she had forgotten
me.”
“She never forgot,” said
the Countess, looking at me intently and smiling.
“She was not like that.”
“She was not like most other
women in any way,” I declared.
“Ah, she was charming,”
cried the Countess, rattling open her fan. “I
have always been very curious to see you. I have
received an impression of you.”
“A good one, I hope.”
She looked at me, laughing, and not
answering this: it was just her mother’s
trick.
“‘My Englishman,’
she used to call you ’il mio Inglese.’”
“I hope she spoke of me kindly,” I insisted.
The Countess, still laughing, gave
a little shrug balancing her hand to and fro.
“So-so; I always supposed you had had a quarrel.
You don’t mind my being frank like this eh?”
“I delight in it; it reminds me of your mother.”
“Every one tells me that.
But I am not clever like her. You will see
for yourself.”
“That speech,” I said,
“completes the resemblance. She was always
pretending she was not clever, and in reality ”
“In reality she was an angel,
eh? To escape from dangerous comparisons I will
admit, then, that I am clever. That will make
a difference. But let us talk of you.
You are very how shall I say it? very
eccentric.”
“Is that what your mother told you?”
“To tell the truth, she spoke
of you as a great original. But aren’t
all Englishmen eccentric? All except that one!”
and the Countess pointed to poor Stanmer, in his corner
of the sofa.
“Oh, I know just what he is,” I said.
“He’s as quiet as a lamb he’s
like all the world,” cried the Countess.
“Like all the world yes. He
is in love with you.”
She looked at me with sudden gravity.
“I don’t object to your saying that for
all the world but I do for him.”
“Well,” I went on, “he is peculiar
in this: he is rather afraid of you.”
Instantly she began to smile; she
turned her face toward Stanmer. He had seen
that we were talking about him; he coloured and got
up then came toward us.
“I like men who are afraid of nothing,”
said our hostess.
“I know what you want,”
I said to Stanmer. “You want to know what
the Signora Contessa says about you.”
Stanmer looked straight into her face,
very gravely. “I don’t care a straw
what she says.”
“You are almost a match for
the Signora Contessa,” I answered. “She
declares she doesn’t care a pin’s head
what you think.”
“I recognise the Countess’s
style!” Stanmer exclaimed, turning away.
“One would think,” said
the Countess, “that you were trying to make a
quarrel between us.”
I watched him move away to another
part of the great saloon; he stood in front of the
Andrea del Sarto, looking up at it.
But he was not seeing it; he was listening to what
we might say. I often stood there in just that
way. “He can’t quarrel with you,
any more than I could have quarrelled with your mother.”
“Ah, but you did. Something painful passed
between you.”
“Yes, it was painful, but it
was not a quarrel. I went away one day and never
saw her again. That was all.”
The Countess looked at me gravely.
“What do you call it when a man does that?”
“It depends upon the case.”
“Sometimes,” said the Countess in French,
“it’s a lâcheté.”
“Yes, and sometimes it’s an act of wisdom.”
“And sometimes,” rejoined the Countess,
“it’s a mistake.”
I shook my head. “For me it was no mistake.”
She began to laugh again. “Caro
Signore, you’re a great original. What
had my poor mother done to you?”
I looked at our young Englishman,
who still had his back turned to us and was staring
up at the picture. “I will tell you some
other time,” I said.
“I shall certainly remind you;
I am very curious to know.” Then she opened
and shut her fan two or three times, still looking
at me. What eyes they have! “Tell
me a little,” she went on, “if I may ask
without indiscretion. Are you married?”
“No, Signora Contessa.”
“Isn’t that at least a mistake?”
“Do I look very unhappy?”
She dropped her head a little to one side. “For
an Englishman no!”
“Ah,” said I, laughing, “you are
quite as clever as your mother.”
“And they tell me that you are
a great soldier,” she continued; “you have
lived in India. It was very kind of you, so far
away, to have remembered our poor dear Italy.”
“One always remembers Italy;
the distance makes no difference. I remembered
it well the day I heard of your mother’s death!”
“Ah, that was a sorrow!”
said the Countess. “There’s not a
day that I don’t weep for her. But che
vuole? She’s a saint its paradise.”
“Sicuro,” I answered;
and I looked some time at the ground. “But
tell me about yourself, dear lady,” I asked
at last, raising my eyes. “You have also
had the sorrow of losing your husband.”
“I am a poor widow, as you see.
Che vuole? My husband died after three
years of marriage.”
I waited for her to remark that the
late Count Scarabelli was also a saint in paradise,
but I waited in vain.
“That was like your distinguished father,”
I said.
“Yes, he too died young.
I can’t be said to have known him; I was but
of the age of my own little girl. But I weep
for him all the more.”
Again I was silent for a moment.
“It was in India too,”
I said presently, “that I heard of your mother’s
second marriage.”
The Countess raised her eyebrows.
“In India, then, one hears of everything!
Did that news please you?”
“Well, since you ask me no.”
“I understand that,” said
the Countess, looking at her open fan. “I
shall not marry again like that.”
“That’s what your mother said to me,”
I ventured to observe.
She was not offended, but she rose
from her seat and stood looking at me a moment.
Then “You should not have gone away!”
she exclaimed. I stayed for another hour; it
is a very pleasant house.
Two or three of the men who were sitting
there seemed very civil and intelligent; one of them
was a major of engineers, who offered me a profusion
of information upon the new organisation of the Italian
army. While he talked, however, I was observing
our hostess, who was talking with the others; very
little, I noticed, with her young Inglese. She
is altogether charming full of frankness
and freedom, of that inimitable disinvoltura
which in an Englishwoman would be vulgar, and which
in her is simply the perfection of apparent spontaneity.
But for all her spontaneity she’s as subtle
as a needle-point, and knows tremendously well what
she is about. If she is not a consummate coquette
. . . What had she in her head when she said
that I should not have gone away? Poor
little Stanmer didn’t go away. I left him
there at midnight.
12th. I found him today
sitting in the church of Santa Croce, into which I
wandered to escape from the heat of the sun.
In the nave it was cool and dim; he
was staring at the blaze of candles on the great altar,
and thinking, I am sure, of his incomparable Countess.
I sat down beside him, and after a while, as if to
avoid the appearance of eagerness, he asked me how
I had enjoyed my visit to Casa Salvi, and what I thought
of the padrona.
“I think half a dozen things,”
I said, “but I can only tell you one now.
She’s an enchantress. You shall hear the
rest when we have left the church.”
“An enchantress?” repeated Stanmer, looking
at me askance.
He is a very simple youth, but who am I to blame him?
“A charmer,” I said “a fascinatress!”
He turned away, staring at the altar candles.
“An artist an actress,” I went
on, rather brutally.
He gave me another glance.
“I think you are telling me all,” he said.
“No, no, there is more.” And we
sat a long time in silence.
At last he proposed that we should
go out; and we passed in the street, where the shadows
had begun to stretch themselves.
“I don’t know what you
mean by her being an actress,” he said, as we
turned homeward.
“I suppose not. Neither
should I have known, if any one had said that to me.”
“You are thinking about the
mother,” said Stanmer. “Why are you
always bringing her in?”
“My dear boy, the analogy is
so great it forces itself upon me.”
He stopped and stood looking at me
with his modest, perplexed young face. I thought
he was going to exclaim “The analogy
be hanged!” but he said after a moment
“Well, what does it prove?”
“I can’t say it proves anything; but it
suggests a great many things.”
“Be so good as to mention a few,” he said,
as we walked on.
“You are not sure of her yourself,” I
began.
“Never mind that go on with your
analogy.”
“That’s a part of it. You are
very much in love with her.”
“That’s a part of it too, I suppose?”
“Yes, as I have told you before.
You are in love with her, and yet you can’t
make her out; that’s just where I was with regard
to Madame de Salvi.”
“And she too was an enchantress,
an actress, an artist, and all the rest of it?”
“She was the most perfect coquette
I ever knew, and the most dangerous, because the most
finished.”
“What you mean, then, is that
her daughter is a finished coquette?”
“I rather think so.”
Stanmer walked along for some moments in silence.
“Seeing that you suppose me
to be a a great admirer of the Countess,”
he said at last, “I am rather surprised at the
freedom with which you speak of her.”
I confessed that I was surprised at
it myself. “But it’s on account of
the interest I take in you.”
“I am immensely obliged to you!” said
the poor boy.
“Ah, of course you don’t
like it. That is, you like my interest I
don’t see how you can help liking that; but
you don’t like my freedom. That’s
natural enough; but, my dear young friend, I want only
to help you. If a man had said to me so
many years ago what I am saying to you,
I should certainly also, at first, have thought him
a great brute. But after a little, I should
have been grateful I should have felt that
he was helping me.”
“You seem to have been very
well able to help yourself,” said Stanmer.
“You tell me you made your escape.”
“Yes, but it was at the cost
of infinite perplexity of what I may call
keen suffering. I should like to save you all
that.”
“I can only repeat it is really very
kind of you.”
“Don’t repeat it too often, or I shall
begin to think you don’t mean it.”
“Well,” said Stanmer,
“I think this, at any rate that you
take an extraordinary responsibility in trying to
put a man out of conceit of a woman who, as he believes,
may make him very happy.”
I grasped his arm, and we stopped,
going on with our talk like a couple of Florentines.
“Do you wish to marry her?”
He looked away, without meeting my
eyes. “It’s a great responsibility,”
he repeated.
“Before Heaven,” I said,
“I would have married the mother! You are
exactly in my situation.”
“Don’t you think you rather
overdo the analogy?” asked poor Stanmer.
“A little more, a little less it
doesn’t matter. I believe you are in my
shoes. But of course if you prefer it, I will
beg a thousand pardons and leave them to carry you
where they will.”
He had been looking away, but now
he slowly turned his face and met my eyes. “You
have gone too far to retreat; what is it you know about
her?”
“About this one nothing. But
about the other ”
“I care nothing about the other!”
“My dear fellow,” I said,
“they are mother and daughter they
are as like as two of Andrea’s Madonnas.”
“If they resemble each other,
then, you were simply mistaken in the mother.”
I took his arm and we walked on again;
there seemed no adequate reply to such a charge.
“Your state of mind brings back my own so completely,”
I said presently. “You admire her you
adore her, and yet, secretly, you mistrust her.
You are enchanted with her personal charm, her grace,
her wit, her everything; and yet in your private heart
you are afraid of her.”
“Afraid of her?”
“Your mistrust keeps rising
to the surface; you can’t rid yourself of the
suspicion that at the bottom of all things she is hard
and cruel, and you would be immensely relieved if
some one should persuade you that your suspicion is
right.”
Stanmer made no direct reply to this;
but before we reached the hotel he said “What
did you ever know about the mother?”
“It’s a terrible story,” I answered.
He looked at me askance. “What did she
do?”
“Come to my rooms this evening and I will tell
you.”
He declared he would, but he never
came. Exactly the way I should have acted!
14th. I went again, last
evening, to Casa Salvi, where I found the same little
circle, with the addition of a couple of ladies.
Stanmer was there, trying hard to talk to one of
them, but making, I am sure, a very poor business
of it. The Countess well, the Countess
was admirable. She greeted me like a friend
of ten years, toward whom familiarity should not have
engendered a want of ceremony; she made me sit near
her, and she asked me a dozen questions about my health
and my occupations.
“I live in the past,”
I said. “I go into the galleries, into
the old palaces and the churches. Today I spent
an hour in Michael Angelo’s chapel at San Loreozo.”
“Ah yes, that’s the past,”
said the Countess. “Those things are very
old.”
“Twenty-seven years old,” I answered.
“Twenty-seven? Altro!”
“I mean my own past,”
I said. “I went to a great many of those
places with your mother.”
“Ah, the pictures are beautiful,”
murmured the Countess, glancing at Stanmer.
“Have you lately looked at any
of them?” I asked. “Have you gone
to the galleries with him?”
She hesitated a moment, smiling.
“It seems to me that your question is a little
impertinent. But I think you are like that.”
“A little impertinent?
Never. As I say, your mother did me the honour,
more than once, to accompany me to the Uffizzi.”
“My mother must have been very kind to you.”
“So it seemed to me at the time.”
“At the time only?”
“Well, if you prefer, so it seems to me now.”
“Eh,” said the Countess, “she made
sacrifices.”
“To what, cara Signora?
She was perfectly free. Your lamented father
was dead and she had not yet contracted
her second marriage.”
“If she was intending to marry
again, it was all the more reason she should have
been careful.”
I looked at her a moment; she met
my eyes gravely, over the top of her fan. “Are
you very careful?” I said.
She dropped her fan with a certain
violence. “Ah, yes, you are impertinent!”
“Ah no,” I said.
“Remember that I am old enough to be your father;
that I knew you when you were three years old.
I may surely ask such questions. But you are
right; one must do your mother justice. She was
certainly thinking of her second marriage.”
“You have not forgiven her that!”
said the Countess, very gravely.
“Have you?” I asked, more lightly.
“I don’t judge my mother.
That is a mortal sin. My stepfather was very
kind to me.”
“I remember him,” I said;
“I saw him a great many times your
mother already received him.”
My hostess sat with lowered eyes,
saying nothing; but she presently looked up.
“She was very unhappy with my father.”
“That I can easily believe. And your stepfather is
he still living?”
“He died before my mother.”
“Did he fight any more duels?”
“He was killed in a duel,” said the Countess,
discreetly.
It seems almost monstrous, especially
as I can give no reason for it but this
announcement, instead of shocking me, caused me to
feel a strange exhilaration. Most assuredly,
after all these years, I bear the poor man no resentment.
Of course I controlled my manner, and simply remarked
to the Countess that as his fault had been so was
his punishment. I think, however, that the feeling
of which I speak was at the bottom of my saying to
her that I hoped that, unlike her mother’s, her
own brief married life had been happy.
“If it was not,” she said,
“I have forgotten it now.” I
wonder if the late Count Scarabelli was also killed
in a duel, and if his adversary . . . Is it on
the books that his adversary, as well, shall perish
by the pistol? Which of those gentlemen is he,
I wonder? Is it reserved for poor little Stanmer
to put a bullet into him? No; poor little Stanmer,
I trust, will do as I did. And yet, unfortunately
for him, that woman is consummately plausible.
She was wonderfully nice last evening; she was really
irresistible. Such frankness and freedom, and
yet something so soft and womanly; such graceful gaiety,
so much of the brightness, without any of the stiffness,
of good breeding, and over it all something so picturesquely
simple and southern. She is a perfect Italian.
But she comes honestly by it. After the talk
I have just jotted down she changed her place, and
the conversation for half an hour was general.
Stanmer indeed said very little; partly, I suppose,
because he is shy of talking a foreign tongue.
Was I like that was I so constantly silent?
I suspect I was when I was perplexed, and Heaven
knows that very often my perplexity was extreme.
Before I went away I had a few more words tete-a-tete
with the Countess.
“I hope you are not leaving
Florence yet,” she said; “you will stay
a while longer?”
I answered that I came only for a
week, and that my week was over.
“I stay on from day to day, I am so much interested.”
“Eh, it’s the beautiful moment.
I’m glad our city pleases you!”
“Florence pleases me and
I take a paternal interest to our young friend,”
I added, glancing at Stanmer. “I have become
very fond of him.”
“Bel tipo inglese,”
said my hostess. “And he is very intelligent;
he has a beautiful mind.”
She stood there resting her smile
and her clear, expressive eyes upon me.
“I don’t like to praise
him too much,” I rejoined, “lest I should
appear to praise myself; he reminds me so much of
what I was at his age. If your beautiful mother
were to come to life for an hour she would see the
resemblance.”
She gave me a little amused stare.
“And yet you don’t look at all like him!”
“Ah, you didn’t know me
when I was twenty-five. I was very handsome!
And, moreover, it isn’t that, it’s the
mental resemblance. I was ingenuous, candid,
trusting, like him.”
“Trusting? I remember
my mother once telling me that you were the most suspicious
and jealous of men!”
“I fell into a suspicious mood,
but I was, fundamentally, not in the least addicted
to thinking evil. I couldn’t easily imagine
any harm of any one.”
“And so you mean that Mr. Stanmer
is in a suspicions mood?”
“Well, I mean that his situation is the same
as mine.”
The Countess gave me one of her serious
looks. “Come,” she said, “what
was it this famous situation of yours?
I have heard you mention it before.”
“Your mother might have told
you, since she occasionally did me the honour to speak
of me.”
“All my mother ever told me
was that you were a sad puzzle to her.”
At this, of course, I laughed out I
laugh still as I write it.
“Well, then, that was my situation I
was a sad puzzle to a very clever woman.”
“And you mean, therefore, that
I am a puzzle to poor Mr. Stanmer?”
“He is racking his brains to
make you out. Remember it was you who said he
was intelligent.”
She looked round at him, and as fortune
would have it, his appearance at that moment quite
confirmed my assertion. He was lounging back
in his chair with an air of indolence rather too marked
for a drawing-room, and staring at the ceiling with
the expression of a man who has just been asked a
conundrum. Madame Scarabelli seemed struck with
his attitude.
“Don’t you see,” I said, “he
can’t read the riddle?”
“You yourself,” she answered,
“said he was incapable of thinking evil.
I should be sorry to have him think any evil of me.”
And she looked straight at me seriously,
appealingly with her beautiful candid brow.
I inclined myself, smiling, in a manner
which might have meant “How could
that be possible?”
“I have a great esteem for him,”
she went on; “I want him to think well of me.
If I am a puzzle to him, do me a little service.
Explain me to him.”
“Explain you, dear lady?”
“You are older and wiser than he. Make
him understand me.”
She looked deep into my eyes for a moment, and then
she turned away.
26th. I have written nothing
for a good many days, but meanwhile I have been half
a dozen times to Casa Salvi. I have seen a good
deal also of my young friend had a good
many walks and talks with him. I have proposed
to him to come with me to Venice for a fortnight, but
he won’t listen to the idea of leaving Florence.
He is very happy in spite of his doubts, and I confess
that in the perception of his happiness I have lived
over again my own. This is so much the case that
when, the other day, he at last made up his mind to
ask me to tell him the wrong that Madame de Salvi
had done me, I rather checked his curiosity.
I told him that if he was bent upon knowing I would
satisfy him, but that it seemed a pity, just now,
to indulge in painful imagery.
“But I thought you wanted so
much to put me out of conceit of our friend.”
“I admit I am inconsistent,
but there are various reasons for it. In the
first place it’s obvious I
am open to the charge of playing a double game.
I profess an admiration for the Countess Scarabelli,
for I accept her hospitality, and at the same time
I attempt to poison your mind; isn’t that the
proper expression? I can’t exactly make
up my mind to that, though my admiration for the Countess
and my desire to prevent you from taking a foolish
step are equally sincere. And then, in the second
place, you seem to me, on the whole, so happy!
One hesitates to destroy an illusion, no matter how
pernicious, that is so delightful while it lasts.
These are the rare moments of life. To be young
and ardent, in the midst of an Italian spring, and
to believe in the moral perfection of a beautiful
woman what an admirable situation!
Float with the current; I’ll stand on the brink
and watch you.”
“Your real reason is that you
feel you have no case against the poor lady,”
said Stanmer. “You admire her as much as
I do.”
“I just admitted that I admired
her. I never said she was a vulgar flirt; her
mother was an absolutely scientific one. Heaven
knows I admired that! It’s a nice point,
however, how much one is hound in honour not to warn
a young friend against a dangerous woman because one
also has relations of civility with the lady.”
“In such a case,” said
Stanmer, “I would break off my relations.”
I looked at him, and I think I laughed.
“Are you jealous of me, by chance?”
He shook his head emphatically.
“Not in the least; I like to
see you there, because your conduct contradicts your
words.”
“I have always said that the Countess is fascinating.”
“Otherwise,” said Stanmer,
“in the case you speak of I would give the lady
notice.”
“Give her notice?”
“Mention to her that you regard
her with suspicion, and that you propose to do your
best to rescue a simple-minded youth from her wiles.
That would be more loyal.” And he began
to laugh again.
It is not the first time he has laughed
at me; but I have never minded it, because I have
always understood it.
“Is that what you recommend
me to say to the Countess?” I asked.
“Recommend you!” he exclaimed,
laughing again; “I recommend nothing. I
may be the victim to be rescued, but I am at least
not a partner to the conspiracy. Besides,”
he added in a moment, “the Countess knows your
state of mind.”
“Has she told you so?”
Stanmer hesitated.
“She has begged me to listen
to everything you may say against her. She declares
that she has a good conscience.”
“Ah,” said I, “she’s an accomplished
woman!”
And it is indeed very clever of her
to take that tone. Stanmer afterwards assured
me explicitly that he has never given her a hint of
the liberties I have taken in conversation with what
shall I call it? with her moral nature;
she has guessed them for herself. She must hate
me intensely, and yet her manner has always been so
charming to me! She is truly an accomplished
woman!
May 4th. I have stayed
away from Casa Salvi for a week, but I have lingered
on in Florence, under a mixture of impulses.
I have had it on my conscience not to go near the
Countess again and yet from the moment
she is aware of the way I feel about her, it is open
war. There need be no scruples on either side.
She is as free to use every possible art to entangle
poor Stanmer more closely as I am to clip her fine-spun
meshes. Under the circumstances, however, we
naturally shouldn’t meet very cordially.
But as regards her meshes, why, after all, should
I clip them? It would really be very interesting
to see Stanmer swallowed up. I should like to
see how he would agree with her after she had devoured
him (to what vulgar imagery, by the way,
does curiosity reduce a man!) Let him finish the story
in his own way, as I finished it in mine. It
is the same story; but why, a quarter of a century
later, should it have the same denoument?
Let him make his own denoument.
5_th_. Hang it, however,
I don’t want the poor boy to be miserable.
6_th_. Ah, but did my denoument
then prove such a happy one?
7_th_. He came to my room
late last night; he was much excited.
“What was it she did to you?” he asked.
I answered him first with another
question. “Have you quarrelled with the
Countess?”
But he only repeated his own.
“What was it she did to you?”
“Sit down and I’ll tell
you.” And he sat there beside the candle,
staring at me. “There was a man always
there Count Camerino.”
“The man she married?”
“The man she married.
I was very much in love with her, and yet I didn’t
trust her. I was sure that she lied; I believed
that she could be cruel. Nevertheless, at moments,
she had a charm which made it pure pedantry to be
conscious of her faults; and while these moments lasted
I would have done anything for her. Unfortunately
they didn’t last long. But you know what
I mean; am I not describing the Scarabelli?”
“The Countess Scarabelli never lied!”
cried Stanmer.
“That’s just what I would
have said to any one who should have made the insinutation!
But I suppose you are not asking me the question you
put to me just now from dispassionate curiosity.”
“A man may want to know!” said the innocent
fellow.
I couldn’t help laughing out.
“This, at any rate, is my story. Camerino
was always there; he was a sort of fixture in the house.
If I had moments of dislike for the divine Bianca,
I had no moments of liking for him. And yet
he was a very agreeable fellow, very civil, very intelligent,
not in the least disposed to make a quarrel with me.
The trouble, of course, was simply that I was jealous
of him. I don’t know, however, on what
ground I could have quarrelled with him, for I had
no definite rights. I can’t say what I
expected I can’t say what, as the
matter stood, I was prepared to do. With my name
and my prospects, I might perfectly have offered her
my hand. I am not sure that she would have accepted
it I am by no means clear that she wanted
that. But she wanted, wanted keenly, to attach
me to her; she wanted to have me about. I should
have been capable of giving up everything England,
my career, my family simply to devote myself
to her, to live near her and see her every day.”
“Why didn’t you do it, then?” asked
Stanmer.
“Why don’t you?”
“To be a proper rejoinder to
my question,” he said, rather neatly, “yours
should be asked twenty-five years hence.”
“It remains perfectly true that
at a given moment I was capable of doing as I say.
That was what she wanted a rich, susceptible,
credulous, convenient young Englishman established
near her en permanence. And yet,”
I added, “I must do her complete justice.
I honestly believe she was fond of me.”
At this Stanmer got up and walked to the window; he
stood looking out a moment, and then he turned round.
“You know she was older than I,” I went
on. “Madame Scarabelli is older than you.
One day in the garden, her mother asked me in an
angry tone why I disliked Camerino; for I had been
at no pains to conceal my feeling about him, and something
had just happened to bring it out. ‘I dislike
him,’ I said, ‘because you like him so
much.’ ‘I assure you I don’t
like him,’ she answered. ‘He has
all the appearance of being your lover,’ I retorted.
It was a brutal speech, certainly, but any other man
in my place would have made it. She took it
very strangely; she turned pale, but she was not indignant.
‘How can he be my lover after what he has done?’
she asked. ‘What has he done?’
She hesitated a good while, then she said: ‘He
killed my husband.’ ‘Good heavens!’
I cried, ‘and you receive him!’ Do you
know what she said? She said, ‘Che voule?’”
“Is that all?” asked Stanmer.
“No; she went on to say that
Camerino had killed Count Salvi in a duel, and she
admitted that her husband’s jealousy had been
the occasion of it. The Count, it appeared, was
a monster of jealousy he had led her a
dreadful life. He himself, meanwhile, had been
anything but irreproachable; he had done a mortal
injury to a man of whom he pretended to be a friend,
and this affair had become notorious. The gentleman
in question had demanded satisfaction for his outraged
honour; but for some reason or other (the Countess,
to do her justice, did not tell me that her husband
was a coward), he had not as yet obtained it.
The duel with Camerino had come on first; in an access
of jealous fury the Count had struck Camerino in the
face; and this outrage, I know not how justly, was
deemed expiable before the other. By an extraordinary
arrangement (the Italians have certainly no sense
of fair play) the other man was allowed to be Camerino’s
second. The duel was fought with swords, and
the Count received a wound of which, though at first
it was not expected to be fatal, he died on the following
day. The matter was hushed up as much as possible
for the sake of the Countess’s good name, and
so successfully that it was presently observed that,
among the public, the other gentleman had the credit
of having put his blade through M. de Salvi.
This gentleman took a fancy not to contradict the impression,
and it was allowed to subsist. So long as he
consented, it was of course in Camerino’s interest
not to contradict it, as it left him much more free
to keep up his intimacy with the Countess.”
Stanmer had listened to all this with
extreme attention. “Why didn’t she
contradict it?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I
am bound to believe it was for the same reason.
I was horrified, at any rate, by the whole story.
I was extremely shocked at the Countess’s want
of dignity in continuing to see the man by whose hand
her husband had fallen.”
“The husband had been a great
brute, and it was not known,” said Stanmer.
“Its not being known made no
difference. And as for Salvi having been a brute,
that is but a way of saying that his wife, and the
man whom his wife subsequently married, didn’t
like him.”
Stanmer hooked extremely meditative;
his eyes were fixed on mine. “Yes, that
marriage is hard to get over. It was not becoming.”
“Ah,” said I, “what
a long breath I drew when I heard of it! I remember
the place and the hour. It was at a hill-station
in India, seven years after I had left Florence.
The post brought me some English papers, and in one
of them was a letter from Italy, with a lot of so-called
‘fashionable intelligence.’ There,
among various scandals in high life, and other delectable
items, I read that the Countess Bianca Salvi, famous
for some years as the presiding genius of the most
agreeable seen in Florence, was about to bestow her
hand upon Count Camerino, a distinguished Bolognese.
Ah, my dear boy, it was a tremendous escape!
I had been ready to marry the woman who was capable
of that! But my instinct had warned me, and
I had trusted my instinct.”
“‘Instinct’s everything,’
as Falstaff says!” And Stanmer began to laugh.
“Did you tell Madame de Salvi that your instinct
was against her?”
“No; I told her that she frightened
me, shocked me, horrified me.”
“That’s about the same thing. And
what did she say?”
“She asked me what I would have?
I called her friendship with Camerino a scandal,
and she answered that her husband had been a brute.
Besides, no one knew it; therefore it was no scandal.
Just your argument! I retorted that
this was odious reasoning, and that she had no moral
sense. We had a passionate argument, and I declared
I would never see her again. In the heat of my
displeasure I left Florence, and I kept my vow.
I never saw her again.”
“You couldn’t have been
much in love with her,” said Stanmer.
“I was not three months after.”
“If you had been you would have come back three
days after.”
“So doubtless it seems to you.
All I can say is that it was the great effort of
my life. Being a military man, I have had on
various occasions to face time enemy. But it
was not then I needed my resolution; it was when I
left Florence in a post-chaise.”
Stanmer turned about the room two
or three times, and then he said: “I don’t
understand! I don’t understand why she
should have told you that Camerino had killed her
husband. It could only damage her.”
“She was afraid it would damage
her more that I should think he was her lover.
She wished to say the thing that would most effectually
persuade me that he was not her lover that
he could never be. And then she wished to get
the credit of being very frank.”
“Good heavens, how you must
have analysed her!” cried my companion, staring.
“There is nothing so analytic
as disillusionment. But there it is. She
married Camerino.”
“Yes, I don’t lime that,”
said Stanmer. He was silent a while, and then
he added “Perhaps she wouldn’t
have done so if you had remained.”
He has a little innocent way!
“Very likely she would have dispensed with
the ceremony,” I answered, drily.
“Upon my word,” he said, “you have
analysed her!”
“You ought to be grateful to
me. I have done for you what you seem unable
to do for yourself.”
“I don’t see any Camerino in my case,”
he said.
“Perhaps among those gentlemen I can find one
for you.”
“Thank you,” he cried;
“I’ll take care of that myself!”
And he went away satisfied, I hope.
10th. He’s an obstinate
little wretch; it irritates me to see him sticking
to it. Perhaps he is looking for his Camerino.
I shall leave him, at any rate, to his fate; it is
growing insupportably hot.
11th. I went this evening
to bid farewell to the Scarabelli. There was
no one there; she was alone in her great dusky drawing-room,
which was lighted only by a couple of candles, with
the immense windows open over the garden. She
was dressed in white; she was deucedly pretty.
She asked me, of course, why I had been so long without
coming.
“I think you say that only for
form,” I answered. “I imagine you
know.”
“Che! what have I done?”
“Nothing at all. You are too wise for
that.”
She looked at me a while. “I think you
are a little crazy.”
“Ah no, I am only too sane.
I have too much reason rather than too little.”
“You have, at any rate, what we call a fixed
idea.”
“There is no harm in that so long as it’s
a good one.”
“But yours is abominable!” she exclaimed,
with a laugh.
“Of course you can’t like
me or my ideas. All things considered, you have
treated me with wonderful kindness, and I thank you
and kiss your hands. I leave Florence tomorrow.”
“I won’t say I’m
sorry!” she said, laughing again. “But
I am very glad to have seen you. I always wondered
about you. You are a curiosity.”
“Yes, you must find me so.
A man who can resist your charms! The fact
is, I can’t. This evening you are enchanting;
and it is the first time I have been alone with you.”
She gave no heed to this; she turned
away. But in a moment she came back, and stood
looking at me, and her beautiful solemn eyes seemed
to shine in the dimness of the room.
“How could you treat my mother so?”
she asked.
“Treat her so?”
“How could you desert the most charming woman
in the world?”
“It was not a case of desertion;
and if it had been it seems to me she was consoled.”
At this moment there was the sound
of a step in the ante-chamber, and I saw that the
Countess perceived it to be Stanmer’s.
“That wouldn’t have happened,”
she murmured. “My poor mother needed a
protector.”
Stanmer came in, interrupting our
talk, and looking at me, I thought, with a little
air of bravado. He must think me indeed a tiresome,
meddlesome bore; and upon my word, turning it all over,
I wonder at his docility. After all, he’s
five-and-twenty and yet I must add,
it does irritate me the way he sticks!
He was followed in a moment by two or three of the
regular Italians, and I made my visit short.
“Good-bye, Countess,”
I said; and she gave me her hand in silence.
“Do you need a protector?” I added, softly.
She looked at me from head to foot,
and then, almost angrily “Yes, Signore.”
But, to deprecate her anger, I kept
her hand an instant, and then bent my venerable head
and kissed it. I think I appeased her.
BOLOGNA, 14th. I left Florence
on the 11th, and have been here these three days.
Delightful old Italian town but it lacks
the charm of my Florentine secret.
I wrote that last entry five days
ago, late at night, after coming back from Casa
Salsi. I afterwards fell asleep in my chair;
the night was half over when I woke up. Instead
of going to bed, I stood a long time at the window,
looking out at the river. It was a warm, still
night, and the first faint streaks of sunrise were
in the sky. Presently I heard a slow footstep
beneath my window, and looking down, made out by the
aid of a street lamp that Stanmer was but just coming
home. I called to him to come to my rooms, and,
after an interval, he made his appearance.
“I want to bid you good-bye,”
I said; “I shall depart in the morning.
Don’t go to the trouble of saying you are sorry.
Of course you are not; I must have bullied you immensely.”
He made no attempt to say he was sorry,
but he said he was very glad to have made my acquaintance.
“Your conversation,” he
said, with his little innocent air, “has been
very suggestive.”
“Have you found Camerino?” I asked, smiling.
“I have given up the search.”
“Well,” I said, “some
day when you find that you have made a great mistake,
remember I told you so.”
He looked for a minute as if he were
trying to anticipate that day by the exercise of his
reason.
“Has it ever occurred to you
that you may have made a great mistake?”
“Oh yes; everything occurs to one sooner or
later.”
That’s what I said to him; but
I didn’t say that the question, pointed by his
candid young countenance, had, for the moment, a greater
force than it had ever had before.
And then he asked me whether, as things
had turned out, I myself had been so especially happy.
PARIS, December 17th. A
note from young Stanmer, whom I saw in Florence a
remarkable little note, dated Rome, and worth transcribing.
“My dear General I have
it at heart to tell you that I was married a week
ago to the Countess Salvi-Scarabelli. You talked
me into a great muddle; but a month after that
it was all very clear. Things that involve
a risk are like the Christian faith; they must be seen
from the inside. Yours ever, E. S.
“P. S. A fig
for analogies unless you can find an analogy for my
happiness!”
His happiness makes him very clever.
I hope it will last I mean his cleverness,
not his happiness.
LONDON, April 19th, 1877. Last
night, at Lady H –’s, I met
Edmund Stanmer, who married Bianca Salvi’s daughter.
I heard the other day that they had come to England.
A handsome young fellow, with a fresh contented face.
He reminded me of Florence, which I didn’t pretend
to forget; but it was rather awkward, for I remember
I used to disparage that woman to him. I had
a complete theory about her. But he didn’t
seem at all stiff; on the contrary, he appeared to
enjoy our encounter. I asked him if his wife
were there. I had to do that.
“Oh yes, she’s in one
of the other rooms. Come and make her acquaintance;
I want you to know her.”
“You forget that I do know her.”
“Oh no, you don’t; you
never did.” And he gave a little significant
laugh.
I didn’t feel like facing the
ci-devant Scarabelli at that moment; so I said
that I was leaving the house, but that I would do myself
the honour of calling upon his wife. We talked
for a minute of something else, and then, suddenly
breaking off and looking at me, he laid his hand on
my arm. I must do him the justice to say that
he looks felicitous.
“Depend upon it you were wrong!” he said.
“My dear young friend,”
I answered, “imagine the alacrity with which
I concede it.”
Something else again was spoken of,
but in an instant he repeated his movement.
“Depend upon it you were wrong.”
“I am sure the Countess has
forgiven me,” I said, “and in that case
you ought to bear no grudge. As I have had the
honour to say, I will call upon her immediately.”
“I was not alluding to my wife,”
he answered. “I was thinking of your own
story.”
“My own story?”
“So many years ago. Was it not rather
a mistake?”
I looked at him a moment; he’s positively rosy.
“That’s not a question to solve in a London
crush.”
And I turned away.
22d. I haven’t yet
called on the ci-devant; I am afraid of finding
her at home. And that boy’s words have
been thrumming in my ears “Depend
upon it you were wrong. Wasn’t it rather
a mistake?” Was I wrong was
it a mistake? Was I too cautions too
suspicious too logical? Was it really
a protector she needed a man who might have
helped her? Would it have been for his benefit
to believe in her, and was her fault only that I had
forsaken her? Was the poor woman very unhappy?
God forgive me, how the questions come crowding in!
If I marred her happiness, I certainly didn’t
make my own. And I might have made it eh?
That’s a charming discovery for a man of my
age!