The idea of the National Gallery had
been with her from the moment of her hearing from
Sir Luke Strett about his hour of coming. It had
been in her mind as a place so meagrely visited, as
one of the places that had seemed at home one of the
attractions of Europe and one of its highest aids
to culture, but that the old story the
typical frivolous always ended by sacrificing to vulgar
pleasures. She had had perfectly, at those whimsical
moments on the Bruenig, the half-shamed sense of turning
her back on such opportunities for real improvement
as had figured to her, from of old, in connection
with the continental tour, under the general head
of “pictures and things”; and now she knew
for what she had done so. The plea had been explicit she
had done so for life, as opposed to learning; the
upshot of which had been that life was now beautifully
provided for. In spite of those few dips and dashes
into the many-coloured stream of history for which
of late Kate Croy had helped her to find time, there
were possible great chances she had neglected, possible
great moments she should, save for to-day, have all
but missed. She might still, she had felt, overtake
one or two of them among the Titians and the Turners;
she had been honestly nursing the hour, and, once
she was in the benignant halls, her faith knew itself
justified. It was the air she wanted and the world
she would now exclusively choose; the quiet chambers,
nobly overwhelming, rich but slightly veiled, opened
out round her and made her presently say “If
I could lose myself here!" There were people,
people in plenty, but, admirably, no personal question.
It was immense, outside, the personal question; but
she had blissfully left it outside, and the nearest
it came, for a quarter of an hour, to glimmering again
into sight was when she watched for a little one of
the more earnest of the lady-copyists. Two or
three in particular, spectacled, aproned, absorbed,
engaged her sympathy to an absurd extent, seemed to
show her for the time the right way to live.
She should have been a lady copyist it met
so the case. The case was the case of escape,
of living under water, of being at once impersonal
and firm. There it was before one one
had only to stick and stick.
Milly yielded to this charm till she
was almost ashamed; she watched the lady-copyists
till she found herself wondering what would be thought
by others of a young woman, of adequate aspect, who
should appear to regard them as the pride of the place.
She would have liked to talk to them, to get, as it
figured to her, into their lives, and was deterred
but by the fact that she didn’t quite see herself
as purchasing imitations and yet feared she might
excite the expectation of purchase. She really
knew before long that what held her was the mere refuge,
that something within her was after all too weak for
the Turners and Titians. They joined hands about
her in a circle too vast, though a circle that a year
before she would only have desired to trace.
They were truly for the larger, not for the smaller
life, the life of which the actual pitch, for example,
was an interest, the interest of compassion, in misguided
efforts. She marked absurdly her little stations,
blinking, in her shrinkage of curiosity, at the glorious
walls, yet keeping an eye on vistas and approaches,
so that she shouldn’t be flagrantly caught.
The vistas and approaches drew her in this way from
room to room, and she had been through many parts of
the show, as she supposed, when she sat down to rest.
There were chairs in scant clusters, places from which
one could gaze. Milly indeed at present fixed
her eyes more than elsewhere on the appearance, first,
that she couldn’t quite, after all, have accounted
to an examiner for the order of her “schools,”
and then on that of her being more tired than she
had meant, in spite of her having been so much less
intelligent. They found, her eyes, it should be
added, other occupation as well, which she let them
freely follow: they rested largely, in her vagueness,
on the vagueness of other visitors; they attached themselves
in especial, with mixed results, to the surprising
stream of her compatriots. She was struck with
the circumstance that the great museum, early in August,
was haunted with these pilgrims, as also with that
of her knowing them from afar, marking them easily,
each and all, and recognising not less promptly that
they had ever new lights for her new lights
on their own darkness. She gave herself up at
last, and it was a consummation like another:
what she should have come to the National Gallery
for to-day would be to watch the copyists and reckon
the Baedekers. That perhaps was the moral of a
menaced state of health that one would
sit in public places and count the Americans.
It passed the time in a manner; but it seemed already
the second line of defence, and this notwithstanding
the pattern, so unmistakable, of her country-folk.
They were cut out as by scissors, coloured, labelled,
mounted; but their relation to her failed to act they
somehow did nothing for her. Partly, no doubt,
they didn’t so much as notice or know her, didn’t
even recognise their community of collapse with her,
the sign on her, as she sat there, that for her too
Europe was “tough.” It came to her
idly thus for her humour could still play that
she didn’t seem then the same success with them
as with the inhabitants of London, who had taken her
up on scarce more of an acquaintance. She could
wonder if they would be different should she go back
with that glamour attached; and she could also wonder,
if it came to that, whether she should ever go back.
Her friends straggled past, at any rate, in all the
vividness of their absent criticism, and she had even
at last the sense of taking a mean advantage.
There was a finer instant, however, at which three
ladies, clearly a mother and daughters, had paused
before her under compulsion of a comment apparently
just uttered by one of them and referring to some object
on the other side of the room. Milly had her
back to the object, but her face very much to her
young compatriot, the one who had spoken and in whose
look she perceived a certain gloom of recognition.
Recognition, for that matter, sat confessedly in her
own eyes: she knew the three, generically,
as easily as a schoolboy with a crib in his lap would
know the answer in class; she felt, like the schoolboy,
guilty enough questioned, as honour went,
as to her right so to possess, to dispossess, people
who hadn’t consciously provoked her. She
would have been able to say where they lived, and
how, had the place and the way been but amenable to
the positive; she bent tenderly, in imagination, over
marital, paternal Mr. Whatever-he-was, at home, eternally
named, with all the honours and placidities, but eternally
unseen and existing only as some one who could be
financially heard from. The mother, the puffed
and composed whiteness of whose hair had no relation
to her apparent age, showed a countenance almost chemically
clean and dry; her companions wore an air of vague
resentment humanised by fatigue; and the three were
equally adorned with short cloaks of coloured cloth
surmounted by little tartan hoods. The tartans
were doubtless conceivable as different, but the cloaks,
curiously, only thinkable as one. “Handsome?
Well, if you choose to say so.” It was the
mother who had spoken, who herself added, after a
pause during which Milly took the reference as to
a picture: “In the English style.”
The three pair of eyes had converged, and their possessors
had for an instant rested, with the effect of a drop
of the subject, on this last characterisation with
that, too, of a gloom not less mute in one of the
daughters than murmured in the other. Milly’s
heart went out to them while they turned their backs;
she said to herself that they ought to have known
her, that there was something between them they might
have beautifully put together. But she had lost
them also they were cold; they left
her in her weak wonder as to what they had been looking
at. The “handsome” disposed her to
turn all the more that the “English
style” would be the English school, which she
liked; only she saw, before moving, by the array on
the side facing her, that she was in fact among small
Dutch pictures. The action of this was again
appreciable the dim surmise that it wouldn’t
then be by a picture that the spring in the three
ladies had been pressed. It was at all events
time she should go, and she turned as she got on her
feet. She had had behind her one of the entrances
and various visitors who had come in while she sat,
visitors single and in pairs by one of the
former of whom she felt her eyes suddenly held.
This was a gentleman in the middle
of the place, a gentleman who had removed his hat
and was for a moment, while he glanced, absently, as
she could see, at the top tier of the collection, tapping
his forehead with his pocket-handkerchief. The
occupation held him long enough to give Milly time
to take for granted and a few seconds sufficed that
his face was the object just observed by her friends.
This could only have been because she concurred in
their tribute, even qualified, and indeed “the
English style” of the gentleman perhaps
by instant contrast to the American was
what had had the arresting power. This arresting
power, at the same time and that was the
marvel had already sharpened almost to
pain, for in the very act of judging the bared head
with detachment she felt herself shaken by a knowledge
of it. It was Merton Densher’s own, and
he was standing there, standing long enough unconscious
for her to fix him and then hesitate. These successions
were swift, so that she could still ask herself in
freedom if she had best let him see her. She
could still reply to that that she shouldn’t
like him to catch her in the effort to prevent this;
and she might further have decided that he was too
preoccupied to see anything had not a perception intervened
that surpassed the first in violence. She was
unable to think afterwards how long she had looked
at him before knowing herself as otherwise looked
at; all she was coherently to put together was that
she had had a second recognition without his having
noticed her. The source of this latter shock was
nobody less than Kate Croy Kate Croy who
was suddenly also in the line of vision and whose
eyes met her eyes at their next movement. Kate
was but two yards off Mr. Densher wasn’t
alone. Kate’s face specifically said so,
for after a stare as blank at first as Milly’s
it broke into a far smile. That was what, wonderfully in
addition to the marvel of their meeting passed
from her for Milly; the instant reduction to easy terms
of the fact of their being there, the two young women,
together. It was perhaps only afterwards that
the girl fully felt the connection between this touch
and her already established conviction that Kate was
a prodigious person; yet on the spot she none the
less, in a degree, knew herself handled and again,
as she had been the night before, dealt with absolutely
even dealt with for her greater pleasure. A minute
in fine hadn’t elapsed before Kate had somehow
made her provisionally take everything as natural.
The provisional was just the charm acquiring
that character from one moment to the other; it represented
happily so much that Kate would explain on the very
first chance. This left moreover and
that was the greatest wonder all due margin
for amusement at the way things happened, the monstrous
oddity of their turning up in such a place on the
very heels of their having separated without allusion
to it. The handsome girl was thus literally in
control of the scene by the time Merton Densher was
ready to exclaim with a high flush, or a vivid blush one
didn’t distinguish the embarrassment from the
joy “Why, Miss Theale: fancy!”
and “Why, Miss Theale: what luck!”
Miss Theale had meanwhile the sense
that for him too, on Kate’s part, something
wonderful and unspoken was determinant; and this although,
distinctly, his companion had no more looked at him
with a hint than he had looked at her with a question.
He had looked and he was looking only at Milly herself,
ever so pleasantly and considerately she
scarce knew what to call it; but without prejudice
to her consciousness, all the same, that women got
out of predicaments better than men. The predicament
of course wasn’t definite or phraseable and
the way they let all phrasing pass was presently to
recur to our young woman as a characteristic triumph
of the civilised state; but she took it for granted,
insistently, with a small private flare of passion,
because the one thing she could think of to do for
him was to show him how she eased him off. She
would really, tired and nervous, have been much disconcerted,
were it not that the opportunity in question had saved
her. It was what had saved her most, what had
made her, after the first few seconds, almost as brave
for Kate as Kate was for her, had made her only ask
herself what their friend would like of her. That
he was at the end of three minutes, without the least
complicated reference, so smoothly “their”
friend was just the effect of their all being sublimely
civilised. The flash in which he saw this was,
for Milly, fairly inspiring to that degree
in fact that she was even now, on such a plane, yearning
to be supreme. It took, no doubt, a big dose of
inspiration to treat as not funny or at
least as not unpleasant the anomaly, for
Kate, that she knew their gentleman, and for
herself, that Kate was spending the morning with him;
but everything continued to make for this after Milly
had tasted of her draught. She was to wonder
in subsequent reflection what in the world they had
actually said, since they had made such a success
of what they didn’t say; the sweetness of the
draught for the time, at any rate, was to feel success
assured. What depended on this for Mr. Densher
was all obscurity to her, and she perhaps but invented
the image of his need as a short cut to service.
Whatever were the facts, their perfect manners, all
round, saw them through. The finest part of Milly’s
own inspiration, it may further be mentioned, was
the quick perception that what would be of most service
was, so to speak, her own native wood-note. She
had long been conscious with shame for her thin blood,
or at least for her poor economy, of her unused margin
as an American girl closely indeed as,
in English air, the text might appear to cover the
page. She still had reserves of spontaneity,
if not of comicality; so that all this cash in hand
could now find employment. She became as spontaneous
as possible and as American as it might conveniently
appeal to Mr. Densher, after his travels, to find
her. She said things in the air, and yet flattered
herself that she struck him as saying them not in the
tone of agitation but in the tone of New York.
In the tone of New York agitation was beautifully
discounted, and she had now a sufficient view of how
much it might accordingly help her.
The help was fairly rendered before
they left the place; when her friends presently accepted
her invitation to adjourn with her to luncheon at
her hotel, it was in the Fifth Avenue that the meal
might have waited. Kate had never been there
so straight, but Milly was at present taking her;
and if Mr. Densher had been he had at least never
had to come so fast. She proposed it as the natural
thing proposed it as the American girl;
and she saw herself quickly justified by the pace
at which she was followed. The beauty of the case
was that to do it all she had only to appear to take
Kate’s hint. This had said, in its fine
first smile, “Oh yes, our look is queer but
give me time;” and the American girl could give
time as nobody else could. What Milly thus gave
she therefore made them take even if, as
they might surmise, it was rather more than they wanted.
In the porch of the museum she expressed her preference
for a four-wheeler; they would take their course in
that guise precisely to multiply the minutes.
She was more than ever justified by the positive charm
that her spirit imparted even to their use of this
conveyance; and she touched her highest point that
is, certainly, for herself as she ushered
her companions into the presence of Susie. Susie
was there with luncheon, with her return, in prospect;
and nothing could now have filled her own consciousness
more to the brim than to see this good friend take
in how little she was abjectly anxious. The cup
itself actually offered to this good friend might
in truth well be startling, for it was composed beyond
question of ingredients oddly mixed. She caught
Susie fairly looking at her as if to know whether
she had brought in guests to hear Sir Luke Strett’s
report. Well, it was better her companion should
have too much than too little to wonder about; she
had come out “anyway,” as they said at
home, for the interest of the thing; and interest truly
sat in her eyes. Milly was none the less, at the
sharpest crisis, a little sorry for her; she could
of necessity extract from the odd scene so comparatively
little of a soothing secret. She saw Mr. Densher
suddenly popping up, but she saw nothing else that
had happened. She saw in the same way her young
friend indifferent to her young friend’s doom,
and she lacked what would explain it. The only
thing to keep her in patience was the way, after luncheon,
Kate almost, as might be said, made up to her.
This was actually perhaps as well what most kept Milly
herself in patience. It had in fact for our young
woman a positive beauty was so marked as
a deviation from the handsome girl’s previous
courses. Susie had been a bore to the handsome
girl, and the change was now suggestive. The
two sat together, after they had risen from table,
in the apartment in which they had lunched, making
it thus easy for the other guest and his entertainer
to sit in the room adjacent. This, for the latter
personage, was the beauty; it was almost, on Kate’s
part, like a prayer to be relieved. If she honestly
liked better to be “thrown with” Susan
Shepherd than with their other friend, why that said
practically everything. It didn’t perhaps
altogether say why she had gone out with him for the
morning, but it said, as one thought, about as much
as she could say to his face.
Little by little indeed, under the
vividness of Kate’s behaviour, the probabilities
fell back into their order. Merton Densher was
in love, and Kate couldn’t help it could
only be sorry and kind: wouldn’t that,
without wild flurries, cover everything? Milly
at all events tried it as a cover, tried it hard,
for the time; pulled it over her, in the front, the
larger room, drew it up to her chin with energy.
If it didn’t, so treated, do everything for
her, it did so much that she could herself supply
the rest. She made that up by the interest of
her great question, the question of whether, seeing
him once more, with all that, as she called it to
herself, had come and gone, her impression of him
would be different from the impression received in
New York. That had held her from the moment of
their leaving the museum; it kept her company through
their drive and during luncheon; and now that she was
a quarter of an hour alone with him it became acute.
She was to feel at this crisis that no clear, no common
answer, no direct satisfaction on this point, was
to reach her; she was to see her question itself simply
go to pieces. She couldn’t tell if he were
different or not, and she didn’t know nor care
if she were: these things had ceased to
matter in the light of the only thing she did know.
This was that she liked him, as she put it to herself,
as much as ever; and if that were to amount to liking
a new person the amusement would be but the greater.
She had thought him at first very quiet, in spite of
recovery from his original confusion; though even
the shade of bewilderment, she yet perceived, had
not been due to such vagueness on the subject of her
reintensified identity as the probable sight, over
there, of many thousands of her kind would sufficiently
have justified. No, he was quiet, inevitably,
for the first half of the time, because Milly’s
own lively line the line of spontaneity made
everything else relative; and because too, so far
as Kate was spontaneous, it was ever so finely in
the air among them that the normal pitch must be kept.
Afterwards, when they had got a little more used,
as it were, to each other’s separate felicity,
he had begun to talk more, clearly bethought himself,
at a given moment, of what his natural lively
line would be. It would be to take for granted
she must wish to hear of the States, and to give her,
in its order, everything he had seen and done there.
He abounded, of a sudden he almost insisted; he returned,
after breaks, to the charge; and the effect was perhaps
the more odd as he gave no clue whatever to what he
had admired, as he went, or to what he hadn’t.
He simply drenched her with his sociable story especially
during the time they were away from the others.
She had stopped then being American all
to let him be English; a permission of which he took,
she could feel, both immense and unconscious advantage.
She had really never cared less for the “States”
than at this moment; but that had nothing to do with
the matter. It would have been the occasion of
her life to learn about them, for nothing could put
him off, and he ventured on no reference to what had
happened for herself. It might have been almost
as if he had known that the greatest of all these
adventures was her doing just what she did then.
It was at this point that she saw
the smash of her great question as complete, saw that
all she had to do with was the sense of being there
with him. And there was no chill for this in what
she also presently saw that, however he
had begun, he was now acting from a particular desire,
determined either by new facts or new fancies, to be
like everyone else, simplifyingly “kind”
to her. He had caught on already as to manner fallen
into line with everyone else; and if his spirits verily
had gone up it might well be that he had thus
felt himself lighting on the remedy for all awkwardness.
Whatever he did or he didn’t, Milly knew she
should still like him there was no alternative
to that; but her heart could none the less sink a little
on feeling how much his view of her was destined to
have in common with as she now sighed over
it the view. She could have
dreamed of his not having the view, of his
having something or other, if need be quite viewless,
of his own; but he might have what he could with least
trouble, and the view wouldn’t be, after
all, a positive bar to her seeing him. The defect
of it in general if she might so ungraciously
criticise was that, by its sweet universality,
it made relations rather prosaically a matter of course.
It anticipated and superseded the likewise
sweet operation of real affinities.
It was this that was doubtless marked in her power
to keep him now this and her glassy lustre
of attention to his pleasantness about the scenery
in the Rockies. She was in truth a little measuring
her success in detaining him by Kate’s success
in “standing” Susan. It would not
be, if she could help it, Mr. Densher who should first
break down. Such at least was one of the forms
of the girl’s inward tension; but beneath even
this deep reason was a motive still finer. What
she had left at home on going out to give it a chance
was meanwhile still, was more sharply and actively,
there. What had been at the top of her mind about
it and then been violently pushed down this
quantity was again working up. As soon as their
friends should go Susie would break out, and what she
would break out upon wouldn’t be interested
in that gentleman as she had more than once shown
herself the personal fact of Mr. Densher.
Milly had found in her face at luncheon a feverish
glitter, and it told what she was full of. She
didn’t care now for Mr. Densher’s personal
fact. Mr. Densher had risen before her only to
find his proper place in her imagination already,
of a sudden, occupied. His personal fact failed,
so far as she was concerned, to be personal, and her
companion noted the failure. This could only
mean that she was full to the brim, of Sir Luke Strett,
and of what she had had from him. What had
she had from him? It was indeed now working upward
again that Milly would do well to know, though knowledge
looked stiff in the light of Susie’s glitter.
It was therefore, on the whole, because Densher’s
young hostess was divided from it by so thin a partition
that she continued to cling to the Rockies.