I
In his regiment familiarly they called
him “Bottles,” nobody quite knew why.
It was, however, rumoured that he had been called “Bottles”
at Harrow on account of the shape of his nose.
Not that his nose was particularly like a bottle,
but at the end of it was round and large and thick.
In reality, however, the sobriquet was more ancient
than that, for it had belonged to the hero of this
story from babyhood. Now, when a man has a nickname,
it generally implies two things: first, that he
is good-tempered, and, secondly, that he is a good
fellow. Bottles, alias John George Peritt,
of a regiment it is unnecessary to name, amply justified
both these definitions, for a kindlier-tempered or
better fellow never breathed. But unless a thick
round nose, a pair of small light-coloured eyes, set
under bushy brows, and a large but not badly shaped
mouth can be said to constitute beauty, he was not
beautiful. On the other hand, however, he was
big and well-formed, and a pleasant-mannered if a
rather silent companion.
Many years ago Bottles was in love;
all the regiment knew it, he was so very palpably
and completely in love. Over his bed in his tidy
quarters hung the photograph of a young lady who was
known to be the young lady; which, when the
regiment, individually and collectively, happened
to see it, left no doubt in its mind as to their comrade’s
taste. It was evident even from that badly-coloured
photograph that Miss Madeline Spenser had the makings
of a lovely figure and a pair of wonderful eyes.
It was said, however, that she had not a sixpence;
and as our hero had but very few, the married ladies
of the battalion used frequently to speculate how
Mr. Peritt would “manage” when it came
to matrimony.
At this date the regiment was quartered
in Maritzburg, Natal, but its term of foreign service
had expired, and it expected to be ordered home immediately.
One morning Bottles had been out buck
hunting with the scratch pack kept in those days by
the garrison at Maritzburg. The run had been a
good one, and after a seven or eight-mile gallop over
the open country they had actually killed their buck a
beautiful Oribe. This was a thing that did
not often happen, and Bottles returned filled with
joy and pride with the buck fastened behind his saddle,
for he was whip to the pack. The hounds had met
at dawn, and it was nine o’clock or so, when,
as he was riding hot and tired up the shadier side
of broad and dusty Church Street, a gun fired at the
Fort beyond Government House announced the arrival
of the English mail.
With a beaming smile for
to him the English mail meant one if not two letters
from Madeline, and possibly the glad news of sailing
orders he pushed on to his quarters, tubbed
and dressed, and then went down to the mess-house
for breakfast, expecting to find the letters delivered.
But the mail was a heavy one, and he had ample time
to eat his breakfast, also to sit and smoke a pipe
upon the pleasant verandah under the shade of the
bamboos and camellia bushes before the orderly arrived
with the bag. Bottles went at once into the room
that opened on to the veranda and stood by calmly,
not being given to betraying his emotions, while slowly
and clumsily the mess sergeant sorted the letters.
At last he got his packet it only consisted
of some newspapers and a single letter and
went away back to his seat on the veranda, feeling
rather disappointed, for he had expected to hear from
his only brother as well as from his lady-love.
Having relit his pipe for he was of a slow
and deliberate mind, and it rather enhances a pleasure
to defer it a little and settled himself
in the big chair opposite the camellia bush just now
covered with sealing-wax-like blooms, he opened his
letter and read:
“My dear George ”
“Good heavens!” he thought
to himself, “what can be the matter? She
always calls me ‘Darling Bottles!’”
“My dear George,” he began
again, “I hardly know how to begin this letter I
can scarcely see the paper for crying, and when I think
of you reading it out in that horrid country it makes
me cry more than ever. There! I may as well
get it out at once, for it does not improve by keeping it
is all over between you and me, my dear, dear old Bottles.”
“All over!” he gasped to himself.
“I hardly know how to tell the
miserable story,” went on the letter, “but
as it must be told I suppose I had better begin from
the beginning. A month ago I went with my father
and my aunt to the Hunt Ball at Atherton, and there
I met Sir Alfred Croston, a middle-aged gentleman,
who danced with me several times. I did not care
about him much, but he made himself very agreeable,
and when I got home aunt you know her nasty
way congratulated me on my conquest.
Well, next day he came to call, and papa asked him
to stop to dinner, and he took me in, and before he
went away he told me that he was coming to stop at
the George Inn to fish for trout in the lake.
After that he came here every day, and whenever I
went out walking he always met me, and really was kind
and nice. At last one day he asked me to marry
him, and I was very angry and told him that I was
engaged to a gentleman in the army, who was in South
Africa. He laughed, and said South Africa was
a long way off, and I hated him for it. That
evening papa and aunt set on me you know
they neither of them liked our engagement and
told me that our affair was perfectly silly, and that
I must be mad to refuse such an offer. And so
it went on, for he would not take ‘no’
for an answer; and at last, dear, I had to give in,
for they gave me no peace, and papa implored me to
consent for his sake. He said the marriage would
be the making of him, and now I suppose I am engaged.
Dear, dear George, don’t be angry with me, for
it is not my fault, and I suppose after all we could
not have got married, for we have so little money.
I do love you, but I can’t help myself.
I hope you won’t forget me, or marry anybody
else at least, not just at present for
I cannot bear to think about it. Write to me
and tell me you won’t forget me, and that you
are not angry with me. Do you want your letters
back? If you burn mine that will do. Good-bye,
dear! If you only knew what I suffer! It
is all very well to talk like aunt does about settlements
and diamonds, but they can’t make up to me for
you. Good-bye, dear, I cannot write any more because
my head aches so. Ever yours,
“Madeline Spenser.”
When George Peritt, alias Bottles,
had finished reading and re-reading this letter, he
folded it up neatly and put it, after his methodical
fashion, into his pocket. Then he sat and stared
at the red camellia blooms before him, that somehow
looked as indistinct and misty as though they were
fifty yards off instead of so many inches.
“It is a great blow,”
he said to himself. “Poor Madeline!
How she must suffer!”
Presently he rose and walked rather
unsteadily, for he felt much upset to his
quarters, and, taking a sheet of notepaper, wrote the
following letter to catch the outgoing mail:
“My dear Madeline, I
have got your letter putting an end to our engagement.
I don’t want to dwell on myself when you must
have so much to suffer, but I must say that it has
been, and is, a great blow to me. I have loved
you for so many years, ever since we were babies, I
think; it does seem hard to lose you now after all.
I thought that when we got home I might get the adjutancy
of a militia regiment, and that we might have been
married. I think we might have managed on five
hundred a year, though perhaps I have no right to
expect you to give up comforts and luxuries to which
you are accustomed; but I am afraid that when one is
in love one is apt to be selfish. However, all
that is done with now, as, of course, putting everything
else aside, I could not think of standing in your
way in life. I love you much too well for that,
dear Madeline, and you are too beautiful and delicate
to be the wife of a poor subaltern with little beside
his pay. I can honestly say that I hope you will
be happy. I don’t ask you to think of me
too often, as that might make you less so, but perhaps
sometimes when you are quiet you will spare your old
lover a thought or two, because I am sure nobody could
care for you more than I do. You need not be afraid
that I shall forget you or marry anybody else.
I shall do neither the one nor the other. I must
close this now to catch the mail; I don’t know
that there is anything more to say. It is a hard
trial very; but it is no good being weak
and giving way, and it consoles me to think that you
are ‘bettering yourself’ as the servants
say. Good-bye, dear Madeline. May God bless
you, is now and ever my earnest prayer.
“J. G. Peritt.”
Scarcely was this letter finished
and hastily dispatched when a loud voice was heard
calling, “Bottles, Bottles, my boy, come rejoice
with me; the orders have come we sail in
a fortnight;” followed by the owner of the voice,
another subaltern, and our hero’s bosom friend.
“Why, you don’t seem very elated,”
said he of the voice, noting his friend’s dejected
and somewhat dazed appearance.
“No that is, not
particularly. So you sail in a fortnight, do you?”
“‘You sail?’ What
do you mean? Why, we all sail, of course,
from the colonel down to the drummer-boy.”
“I don’t think that I I
am going to sail, Jack,” was the hesitating
answer.
“Look here, old fellow, are
you off your head, or have you been liquoring up,
or what?”
“No that is, I don’t
think so; certainly not the first the second,
I mean.”
“Then what do you mean?”
“I mean that, in short, I am
sending in my papers. I like this climate I,
in short, am going to take to farming.”
“Sending in your papers!
Going to take to farming! And in this God-forsaken
hole, too. You must be screwed.”
“No, indeed. It is only ten o’clock.”
“And how about getting married,
and the girl you are engaged to, and whom you are
looking forward so much to seeing. Is she going
to take to farming?”
Bottles winced visibly.
“No, you see in short,
we have put an end to that. I am not engaged
now.”
“Oh, indeed,” said the friend, and awkwardly
departed.
II
Twelve years have passed since Bottles
sent in his papers, and in twelve years many things
happen. Amongst them recently it had happened
that our hero’s only and elder brother had,
owing to an unexpected development of consumption
among the expectant heirs, tumbled into a baronetcy
and eight thousand a year, and Bottles himself into
a modest but to him most ample fortune of as many
hundred. When the news reached him he was the
captain of a volunteer corps engaged in one of the
numerous Basuto wars in the Cape Colony. He served
the campaign out, and then, in obedience to his brother’s
entreaties and a natural craving to see his native
land, after an absence of nearly fourteen years, resigned
his commission and returned to England.
Thus it came to pass that the next
scene of this little history opens, not upon the South
African veld, or in a whitewashed house in some half-grown,
hobbledehoy colonial town, but in a set of the most
comfortable chambers in the Albany, the local and appropriate
habitation of the bachelor brother aforesaid, Sir
Eustace Peritt.
In a very comfortable arm-chair in
front of a warm fire (for the month is November) sits
the Bottles of old days bigger, uglier,
shyer than ever, and in addition, disfigured by an
assegai wound through the cheek. Opposite to
him, and peering at him occasionally with fond curiosity
through an eyeglass, is his brother, a very different
stamp of man. Sir Eustace Peritt is a well-preserved,
London-looking gentleman, of apparently any age between
thirty and fifty. His eye is so bright, his figure
so well preserved, that to judge from appearances alone
you would put him down to the former age. But
when you come to know him so as to be able to measure
his consummate knowledge of the world, and to have
the opportunity of reflecting upon the good-natured
but profound cynicism which pleasantly pervades his
talk as absolutely as the flavour of lemon pervades
rum punch, you would be inclined to assign his natal
day to a much earlier date. In reality he was
forty, neither more nor less, and had both preserved
his youthful appearance and gained the mellowness
of his experience by a judicious use of the opportunities
of life.
“Well, my dear George,”
said Sir Eustace, addressing his brother determined
to take this occasion of meeting after so long a time
to be rid of the nickname “Bottles,” which
he hated “I haven’t had such
a pleasure for years.”
“As as what?”
“As meeting you again, of course.
When I saw you on the vessel I knew you at once.
You have not changed at all, unless expansion can be
called a change.”
“Nor have you, Eustace, unless
contraction can be called a change. Your waist
used to be bigger, you know.”
“Ah, George, I drank beer in
those days; it is one of things of which I have lived
to see the folly. In fact, there are not many
things of which I have not lived to see the folly.”
“Except living itself, I suppose?”
“Exactly except living.
I have no wish to follow the example of our poor cousins,”
he answered with a sigh, “to whose considerate
behaviour, however,” he added, brightening,
“we owe our present improved position.”
Then came a pause.
“Fourteen years is a long time,
George; you must have had a rough time of it.”
“Yes, pretty rough. I have
seen a good deal of irregular service, you know.”
“And never got anything out of it, I suppose?”
“Oh, yes; I have got my bread and butter, which
is all I am worth.”
Sir Eustace looked at his brother
doubtfully through his eyeglass. “You are
modest,” he said; “that does not do.
You must have a better opinion of yourself if you
want to get on in the world.”
“I don’t want to get on.
I am quite content to earn a living, and I am modest
because I have seen so many better men fare worse.”
“But now you need not earn a
living any more. What do you propose to do?
Live in town? I can set you going in a very good
lot. You will be quite a lion with that hole
in your cheek by the way, you must tell
me the story. And then, you see, if anything
happens to me you stand in for the title and estates.
That will be quite enough to float you.”
Bottles writhed uneasily in his chair.
“Thank you, Eustace; but really I must ask you in
short, I don’t want to be floated or anything
of the sort. I would rather go back to South
Africa and my volunteer corps. I would indeed.
I hate strangers, and society, and all that sort of
thing. I’m not fit for it like you.”
“Then what do you mean to do get
married and live in the country?”
Bottles coloured a little through
his sun-tanned skin a fact that did not
escape the eyeglass of his observant brother.
“No, I am not going to get married, certainly
not.”
“By the way,” said Sir
Eustace carelessly, “I saw your old flame, Lady
Croston, yesterday, and told her you were coming home.
She makes a charming widow.”
“What!” ejaculated
his brother, slowly raising himself out of his chair
in astonishment. “Is her husband dead?”
“Dead? Yes, died a year
ago, and a good riddance too. He appointed me
one of his executors; I am sure I don’t know
why, for we never liked each other. I think he
was the most disagreeable fellow I ever knew.
They say he gave his wife a roughish time of it occasionally.
Serve her right, too.”
“Why did it serve her right?”
Sir Eustace shrugged his shoulders.
“When a heartless girl jilts
the fellow she is engaged to in order to sell herself
to an elderly beast, I think she deserves all she gets.
This one did not get half enough; indeed, she has made
a good thing of it better than she expected.”
His brother sat down again before
he answered in a constrained voice, “Don’t
you think you are rather hard on her, Eustace?”
“Hard on her? No, not a
bit of it. Of all the worthless women that I
know, I think Madeline Croston is the most worthless.
Look how she treated you.”
“Eustace,” broke in his
brother almost sharply, “if you don’t mind,
I wish you would not talk of her like that to me.
I can’t in short, I don’t like
it.”
Sir Eustace’s eyeglass dropped
out of Sir Eustace’s eye he had opened
it so wide to stare at his brother. “Why,
my dear fellow,” he ejaculated, “you don’t
mean to tell me you still care for that woman?”
His brother twisted his great form
about uncomfortably in the low chair as he answered,
“I don’t know, I’m sure, about caring
for her, but I don’t like to hear you say such
things about her.”
Sir Eustace whistled softly.
“I am sorry if I offended you, old fellow,”
he said. “I had no idea that it was still
a sore point with you. You must be a faithful
people in South Africa. Here the ’holy feelings
of the heart’ are shorter lived. We wear
out several generations of them in twelve years.”
III
Bottles did not go to bed till late
that night. Long after Sir Eustace who,
always careful of his health, never stopped up late
if he could avoid it had vanished, yawning,
his brother sat smoking pipe after pipe and thinking.
He had sat many times in the same way on a wagon-box
in the African veld, or up where the moonlight turned
the falls of the Zambesi into a rushing cataract of
silver, or alone in his tent when all the camp was
sleeping round him. It was a habit of this queer,
silent man to sit and think for hours at night, and
arose to a great extent from an incapacity to sleep,
that was the weak point in his constitution.
As for his meditations, they were
various, but mostly the outcome of a curious speculative
side to his nature, which he never revealed to the
outside world. Dreams of a happiness of which
heretofore his hard life had given him no glimpse;
semi-mystical, religious meditations upon the great
unknown around us; and grand schemes for the regeneration
of mankind all formed part of them.
But there was one central thought,
the fixed star of his mind, round which all the others
continually revolved, taking their light and colour
from it, and that was the thought of Madeline Croston,
the woman to whom he had been engaged. Years
and years had passed since he had seen her face, and
yet it was always present to him. Beyond the occasional
mention of her name in some society paper several
of which, by the way, he took in for years and conscientiously
searched on the chance of finding it till
this evening he had never even seen it or heard it
spoken; and yet with all the tenacity of his strong,
deep nature he clung to her dear memory. That
she had left him to marry another man weighed as nothing
in the balance of his love. Once she had loved
him, and thereby he was repaid for the devotion of
his life. He had no ambitions. Madeline
had been his great ambition; and when that had fallen,
all the others had fallen with it, even to the dust.
He simply did his duty, whatever it might be, as well
as in him lay, without fear of blame or hope of praise shunning
men, and never, if he could avoid it, speaking to
a woman, content to earn his livelihood, and for the
rest rendered colourless by his secret and pathetic
passion.
And now it appeared that Madeline
was a widow, which meant and his heart
beat fast at the thought that she was a
free woman. Madeline was a free woman, and he
was within a few minutes’ walk of her. No
thousands of miles of ocean rolled between them now.
He rose, went to the table, and consulted a Red book
that lay on it. There was the address a
house in Grosvenor Street. Overcome by an uncontrollable
impulse, he went out of the room. Going to his
own he found his mackintosh and a round hat, and softly
left the house. It was then past two in the morning,
pouring with rain, and blowing hard.
He had been a little in London as
a lad and remembered the main thoroughfares, so had
no great difficulty in finding his way up Piccadilly
till he came to Park Lane, into which the Red book
told him Grosvenor Square opened. But to find
Grosvenor Street itself was a more difficult matter,
and at such a time on such a night there was naturally
nobody to ask least of all a policeman.
At last he found it, and hurried on down the street
with a quickening pulse. What he was hurrying
to he could not tell, but that over-mastering impulse
forced him on quicker and quicker yet.
Suddenly he halted, and examined the
number of one of the houses by the faint and struggling
light from the nearest lamp. It was her
house; now there was nothing between them but a few
feet of space and fourteen inches of brickwork.
He crossed over to the other side of the street, and
looked up at the house, but could scarcely make it
out through the driving rain. There was no light
in the house, and no sign of life about the street.
But there were both light and life in the heart of
this watcher. All the pulses of his blood were
astir, keeping time with the commotion of his mind.
He stood there in the shadow, gazing at the murky
house, heedless of the bitter wind and pelting rain,
and felt his life and spirit pass out of his control
into an unknown dominion. The storm that raged
around him was nothing to the convulsion of his inner
self in that hour of madness, which was yet happiness.
Yet as it had arisen thus suddenly, so with equal
swiftness it died away, and left him standing there
with a chill sense of folly in his mind and of the
bitter weather in his body; for on such a night a
mackintosh and a dress coat were not adapted to keep
the most ardent lover warm. He shivered, and turning,
made his way back to Albany, feeling heartily ashamed
of himself and his midnight expedition, and heartily
glad that no one knew of it except himself.
On the following day Bottles for
convenience’ sake we still call him by his old
nickname was obliged to see a lawyer with
reference to the money which he had inherited, and
to search for a box which had gone astray aboard the
steamer; also to buy a tall hat, such as he had not
worn for fourteen years; so that between one thing
and another it was half-past four before he got back
to the Albany. Here he donned the new hat, which
did not fit very well, and a new black coat which fitted
so well that it seemed to cut into his large frame
in every possible direction, and departed, furiously
struggling with a pair of gloves, also new, for Grosvenor
Street.
A quarter of an hour’s walk,
for he knew the road this time, brought him to the
house. Glancing for a while at the spot where
he had stood on the previous night, he walked up the
steps and pulled the bell. Though he looked bold
enough outwardly indeed, rather imposing
than otherwise with his broad shoulders
and the great scar on his bronzed face, his breast
was full of terrors. In these, however, he had
not much time to indulge, for a footman, still decked
in the trappings of vicarious grief, opened the door
with the most startling promptitude, and he was ushered
upstairs into a small but richly furnished room.
Madeline was not in the room, though
to judge from the lace handkerchief lying on the floor
by a low chair, and the open novel on a little wicker
table alongside, she had not left it long. The
footman departed, saying, in a magnificent undertone,
that “her ladyship” should be informed,
and left our hero to enjoy his sensations. Being
one of those people whom suspense of any sort makes
fidgety, he employed himself in looking at the pictures
and china, even going so far as to walk to a pair of
very heavy blue velvet curtains that apparently communicated
with another room, and peep through them at a much
larger apartment of which the furniture was done up
in ghostly-looking bags.
Retreating from this melancholy sight,
finally he took up a position on the hearthrug and
waited. Would she be angry with him for coming?
he wondered. Would it recall things she had rather
forget? But perhaps she had already forgotten
them it was so long ago. Would she
be very much changed? Perhaps he should not know
her. Perhaps but here he happened
to lift his eyes, and there, standing between the two
blue velvet curtains, was Madeline, now a woman in
the full splendour of a remarkable beauty, and showing
as yet, at any rate in that dull November twilight,
no traces of her years. There she stood, her large
dark eyes fixed upon him with a look of wistful curiosity,
her shapely lips just parted to speak, and her bosom
gently heaving, as though with trouble.
Poor Bottles! One look was enough.
There was no chance of his attaining the blessed haven
of disillusionment. In five seconds he was farther
out to sea than ever. When she knew that he had
seen her she dropped her eyes a little he
saw the long curved lashes appear against her cheek,
and moved forward.
“How do you do?” she said
softly, extending her slim, cool hand.
He took the hand and shook it, but
for the life of him could think of nothing to say.
Not one of the little speeches he had prepared would
come into his mind. Yet the desperate necessity
of saying something forced itself upon him.
“How do you do?” he ejaculated
with a jerk. “It it’s very
cold, isn’t it?”
This remark was such an utter and
ludicrous fiasco that Lady Croston could not
choose but laugh a little.
“I see,” she said, “that
you have not got over your shyness.”
“It is a long while since we met,” he
blurted out.
“I am very glad to see you,”
was her simple answer. “Now sit down and
talk to me; tell me all about yourself. Stop;
before you begin how very curious it is!
Do you know I dreamed about you last night such
a curious, painful dream. I dreamed that I was
asleep in my room which indeed I was and
that it was blowing a gale and raining in torrents which
I believe it was also so there is nothing
very wonderful about that. But now comes the
odd part. I dreamed that you were standing out
in the rain and wind and yet looking at me as though
you saw me. I could not see your face because
you were in the dark, but I knew it was you.
Then I woke up with a start. It was a most vivid
dream. And now to-day you have come to see me
after all these years.”
He shifted his legs uneasily.
Considering the facts of the case, her dream frightened
him, which was not strange. Fortunately, at that
moment the impressive footman arrived with the tea-things
and asked whether he should light the lamps.
“No,” said Lady Croston;
“put some wood on the fire.” She knew
that she looked her very best in those half-lights.
Then, when she had given him his tea,
delighting him by remembering that he did not like
sugar, she fell to drawing him out about the wild life
he had been leading.
“By the way,” she said
presently, “perhaps you can tell me a
few days ago I bought a book for my boy” she
had two children “all about brave
deeds and that sort of thing, and in it there was a
story of a volunteer officer in South Africa (the
name was not mentioned) which interested me very much.
Did you ever hear of it? It was this: The
officer was in command of a fort containing a force
that was operating against a native chief. While
he was away the chief sent a flag of truce down to
the fort, which was fired on by some of the volunteers
in the fort, because there was a man among the truce
party against whom they had a spite. Just afterwards
the officer returned, and was very angry that such
a thing had been done by Englishmen, whose duty it
was, he said, to teach all the world what honour meant.
“Now comes the brave part of
the story. Without saying any more, and notwithstanding
the entreaties of his men, who knew that in all probability
he was going to a death by torture, for he was so brave
that the natives had set a great price upon him, wishing
to kill him and use his body for medicine, which they
thought would make them as brave as he was, that officer
rode out far away into the mountains with only an
interpreter and a white handkerchief, till he came
to the chief’s stronghold. But when the
natives saw him coming, holding up his white handkerchief,
they did not fire at him as his men had fired at them,
because they were so astonished at his bravery that
they thought he must be mad or inspired. So he
came straight on to the walls of the stronghold, called
to the chief and begged his pardon for what had happened,
and then rode away again unharmed. Shortly afterwards,
the chief, having captured some of the officer’s
volunteers, whom in the ordinary course of affairs
he would have tortured to death, sent them back again
untouched, with a message to the effect that he would
show the English officer that he was not the only
man who could behave ’like a gentleman.’
I should like to know that man. Do you know who
he was?”
Bottles looked uncomfortable, as well
he might, for it was an incident in his own career;
but her praise and enthusiasm sent a flush of pride
into his face.
“I believe it was some fellow
in the Basuto War,” he said, prevaricating with
peculiar awkwardness.
“Oh, then it is a true story?”
“Yes that is, it
is partially true. There was nothing heroic about
it. It was a necessary act if our honour as fair
opponents was to continue to be worth anything.”
“But who was the man?”
she asked, fixing her dark eyes on him suspiciously.
“The man!” he stammered.
“Oh, the man well, in short ”
and he stopped.
“In short, George,”
she put in, for the first time calling him by his
Christian name, “that man was you, and
I am so proud of you, George.”
It was very hateful to him in a way,
for he loathed that kind of personal adulation, even
from her. He was so intensely modest he had never
even reported the incident in question; it had come
out in some roundabout way. Yet he could not
but feel happy that she had found him out. It
was a great deal to him to have moved her, and her
sparkling eyes and heaving bosom showed that she was
somewhat moved.
He looked up and his eyes caught hers;
the room was nearly dark now, but the bright flame
from the wood the servant had put on the fire played
upon her face. His eyes caught hers, and there
was a look in them from which he could not escape,
even if he had wished to do so. She had thrown
her head back so that the coronet of her glossy hair
rested upon the back of her low seat, and thus, without
strain, could look straight up into his face.
He had risen, and was standing by the mantelpiece.
A slow, sweet smile grew upon the perfect face, and
the dark eyes became soft and luminous as though they
shone through tears.
In another second it had ended, as
she thought that it would end and had intended that
it should end. The great strong man was down yes,
down on his knees before her, one trembling hand catching
at the arm of her chair, and the other clasping her
tapering fingers. There was no hesitation or
awkwardness about him now, the greatness of his long-pent
passion inspired him, and he told her all without let
or stop all that he had suffered for her
sake throughout those lonely years, all his wretched
hopelessness, keeping nothing back.
Much she did not understand; such
a passion as this was too deep to be fathomed by her
shallow lines, too soaring for her to net in her world-straitened
imagination. Once or twice even his exalted notions
made her smile: it seemed ridiculous, knowing
the world as she did, that any man should think thus
of any woman. Nor, when at length he had
finished, did she attempt an answer, feeling that her
strength lay in silence, for she had a poor case.
At least, the only argument that she used was a purely
feminine one, but perfectly effective. She bent
her beautiful face towards him, and he kissed it again
and again.
IV
The revulsion of feeling experienced
by Bottles as he hurried back to the Albany to dress
for dinner for he was to dine with his brother
at one of his clubs that night was so extraordinary
and overwhelming that it took him, figuratively speaking,
off his legs. As yet his mind, so long accustomed
to perpetual misfortune in this, the ruling passion
of his life, could not quite grasp his luck.
That he should, after all, have won back his lost
Madeline seemed altogether too good to be true.
As it happened, Sir Eustace had asked
one or two men to meet him, amongst them an Under-Secretary
for the Colonies, who, having to prepare for a severe
cross-examination in the House upon South African affairs,
had jumped at the opportunity of sucking the brains
of a man thoroughly acquainted with the subject.
But the expectant Under-Secretary was destined to
meet with a grievous disappointment, for out of Bottles
came no good thing. For the most part of the dinner
he sat silent, only speaking when directly addressed,
and then answering so much at random that the Under-Secretary
quickly came to the conclusion that Sir Eustace’s
brother was either a fool or that he had drunk too
much.
Sir Eustace himself saw that his brother’s
taciturnity had spoilt his little dinner, and his
temper was not improved thereby. He was not accustomed
to have his dinners spoiled, and felt that, so far
as the Under-Secretary was concerned, he had put himself
into a false position.
“My dear George,” he said
in a tone of bland exasperation when they had got
back to the Albany, “I wonder what can be the
matter with you? I told Atherleigh that you would
be able to post him up thoroughly about all this Bechuana
mess, and he could not get a word out of you.”
His brother absently filled his pipe before he answered:
“The Bechuanas? Oh, yes,
I know all about them. I lived among them for
a year.”
“Then why on earth didn’t
you tell him what you knew? You put me in rather
a false position.”
“I am very sorry, Eustace,”
he answered humbly. “I will go and see him
if you like, and explain the thing to him to-morrow.
The fact of the matter is, I was thinking of something
else.”
Sir Eustace interrogated him with a look.
“I was thinking,” he went on slowly, “about
Mad about Lady Croston.”
“Oh!”
“I went to see her this afternoon,
and I think, I hope, that I am going to marry her.”
If Bottles expected that this great
news would be received by his elder brother as such
news ought to be received with congratulatory
rejoicing he was destined to be disappointed.
“Good heavens!” ejaculated
Sir Eustace shortly, letting his eyeglass drop.
“Why do you say that, Eustace?” Bottles
asked uneasily.
“Because because,”
answered his brother in the emphatic tone which was
his equivalent for strong language, “you must
be mad to think of such a thing.”
“Why must I be mad?”
“Because you, still a young
man, with all your life before you, deliberately propose
to tie yourself up to a middle-aged and passee
woman she is extremely passee by
daylight, let me tell you who has already
treated you like a dog, and is burdened with a couple
of children, and who, if she marries again, will bring
you very little except her luxurious tastes.
But I expected this. I thought she would try
to catch you with those languishing black eyes of hers.
You are not the first; I know her of old.”
“If,” said his brother,
rising in dudgeon, “you are going to abuse Madeline
to me, I think I had better say good night, for we
shall quarrel which I would not do for
anything.”
Sir Eustace shrugged his shoulders.
“Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first
make mad,” he muttered, as he lit his hand candle.
“This is what comes of a course of South Africa.”
But Sir Eustace was an amenable man.
His favourite motto was “Live and let live”;
and having given the matter his best consideration
during the lengthy process of shaving himself on the
following morning, he came to the conclusion, reluctantly
enough it must be owned, that it was evident that
his brother meant to have his own way, and therefore
the best thing to be done was to fall in with his
views and trust to the chapter of accidents to bring
the thing to naught. Sir Eustace, for all his
apparent worldliness and cynicism, was a good fellow
at heart, and cherished a warm affection for his awkward,
taciturn brother. He also cherished a great dislike
for Lady Croston, whose character he thoroughly understood.
He saw a good deal of her, it is true, because he
happened to be one of the executors of her husband’s
will; and since he had come into the baronetcy it
had struck him that she had developed a considerable
partiality for his society.
The idea of a marriage between his
brother and his brother’s old flame was in every
way distasteful to him. In the first place, under
her husband’s will, Madeline would bring, comparatively
speaking, relatively little with her should she marry
again. That was one objection. Another,
and still more forcible one from Sir Eustace’s
point of view, was that at her time of life she was
not likely to present the house of Peritt with an
heir. Now, Sir Eustace had not the slightest intention
of marrying. Matrimony was, he considered, an
excellent institution, and necessary to the carrying
on of the world in a respectable manner, but it was
not one with which he was anxious to identify himself.
Therefore, if his brother married at all, it was his
earnest desire that the union should bring children
to inherit the title and estates. Prominent above
both these excellent reasons, stood his intense distrust
and dislike of the lady.
Needs must, however, when the devil
(by whom he understood Madeline) drives. He was
not going to quarrel with his only brother and presumptive
heir because he chose to marry a woman who was not
to his taste. So he shrugged his shoulders having
finished his shaving and his reflections together and
determined to put the best possible face on his disappointment.
“Well, George,” he said
to his brother at breakfast, “so you are going
to marry Lady Croston?”
Bottles looked up surprised.
“Yes, Eustace,” he answered, “if
she will marry me.”
Sir Eustace glanced at him. “I
thought the affair was settled,” he said.
Bottles rubbed his big nose reflectively
as he answered, “Well, no. I don’t
think that marriage was mentioned. But I suppose
she means to marry me. In short, I don’t
see how she could mean anything else.”
Sir Eustace breathed more freely,
guessing what had taken place. So there was as
yet no actual engagement.
“When are you going to see her again?”
“To-morrow. She is engaged all to-day.”
His brother took out a pocket-book
and consulted it. “Then I am more fortunate
than you are,” he said; “I have an appointment
with Lady Croston this evening after dinner.
Don’t look jealous, old fellow, it is only about
some executor’s business. I think I told
you that I am one of her husband’s executors,
blessings on his memory. She is a peculiar woman,
your inamorata, and swears that she won’t
trust her lawyers, so I have to do all the dirty work
myself, worse luck. You had better come too.”
“Shan’t I be in the way?”
asked Bottles doubtfully, struggling feebly against
the bribe.
“It is evident, my dear fellow,
that you cannot be de trop. I shall present
my papers for signature and vanish. You ought
to be infinitely obliged to me for giving you such
a chance. We will consider that settled.
We will dine together, and go round to Grosvenor Street
afterwards.”
Bottles agreed. Could he have
seen the little scheme that was dawning in his brother’s
brain, perhaps he would not have assented so readily.
When her old lover went away reluctantly
to dress for dinner on the previous day, Madeline
Croston sat down to have a good think, and the result
was not entirely satisfactory. It had been very
pleasant to see him, and his passionate declaration
of enduring love thrilled her through and through,
and even woke an echo in her own breast. It made
her proud to think that this man, who, notwithstanding
his ugliness and awkwardness, was yet, her instinct
told her, worth half a dozen smart London fashionables,
still loved her and had never ceased to love her.
Poor Bottles! she had been very fond of him once.
They had grown up together, and it really gave her
some cruel hours when a sense of what she owed to
herself and her family had forced her to discard him.
She remembered, as she sat there this
evening, how at the time she had wondered if it was
worth it if life would not be brighter and
happier if she made up her mind to fight through it
by her honest lover’s side. Well, she could
answer that question now. It had been well worth
it. She had not liked her husband, it is true;
but on the whole she had enjoyed a good time and plenty
of money, and the power that money brings. The
wisdom of her later days had confirmed the judgment
of her youth. As regards Bottles himself, she
had soon got over that fancy; for years she had scarcely
thought of him, till Sir Eustace told her that he was
coming home, and she had that curious dream about him.
Now he had come and made love to her, not in a civilised,
philandering sort of a way, such as she was accustomed
to, but with a passion and a fire and an utter self-abandonment
which, while it thrilled her nerves with a curious
sensation of mingled pleasure and pain, not unlike
that she once experienced at a Spanish bull-fight
when she saw a man tossed, was yet extremely awkward
to deal with and rather alarming.
Now, too, the old question had come
up again, and what was to be done? She had sheered
him off the question that afternoon, but he would want
to marry her, she felt sure of that. If she consented,
what were they to live on? Her own juncture,
in the event of her re-marriage, would be cut down
to a thousand a year she had four now, and
was pinched on that; and as for Bottles, she knew
what he had eight hundred, for Sir Eustace
had told her. He was next heir to the baronetcy,
it was true, but Sir Eustace looked as though he would
live for ever, and besides, he might marry after all.
For a few minutes Lady Croston contemplated
the possibility of existing on eighteen hundred a
year, and what Chancery would give her as guardian
of her children in a poky house somewhere down at Kensington.
Soon she realised that the thing was not to be done.
“Unless Sir Eustace will do
something for him, it is very clear that we cannot
be married,” she said to herself with a sigh.
“However, I need not tell him that just yet,
or he will be rushing back to South Africa or something.”
V
Sir Eustace and his brother carried
out their programme. They dined together, and
about half-past nine drove round to Grosvenor Street.
Here they were shown into the drawing-room by the solemn
footman, who informed Sir Eustace that her ladyship
was upstairs in the nursery and had left a message
for him that she would be down presently.
“All right; there is no hurry,”
said Sir Eustace absently, and the man went downstairs.
Bottles, being nervous, was fidgeting
round the room as usual, and his brother, being very
much at ease, was standing with his back to the fire,
and staring about him. Presently his glance lit
upon the blue velvet curtains which shut off the room
they were in from the larger saloon that had not been
used since Lady Croston’s widowhood, and an
idea which had been floating about in his brain suddenly
took definite shape and form. He was a prompt
man, and in another second he had acted up to that
idea.
“George,” he said in a
quick, low voice, “listen to me, and for Heaven’s
sake don’t interrupt for a minute. You know
that I do not like the idea of your marrying Lady
Croston. You know that I think her worthless no,
wait a minute, don’t interrupt I am
only saying what I think. You believe in her;
you believe that she is in love with you and will marry
you, and have good reason to believe it, have you not?”
Bottles nodded.
“Very well. Supposing that
I can show you within half an hour that she is perfectly
ready to marry somebody else myself, for
instance would you still believe in her?”
Bottles turned pale. “The thing is impossible,”
he said.
“That is not the question.
Would you still believe in her, and would you still
marry her?”
“Great heavens! no.”
“Good. Then I tell you
what I will do for you, and it will perhaps give you
some idea of how deeply I feel in the matter; I will
sacrifice myself.”
“Sacrifice yourself?”
“Yes. I mean that I will
this very evening propose to Madeline Croston under
your nose, and I bet you five pounds she accepts me.”
“Impossible,” said Bottles
again. “Besides, if she did you don’t
want to marry her.”
“Marry her! No, indeed.
I am not mad. I shall have to get out of
the scrape as best I can always supposing
my view of the lady is correct.”
“Excuse me,” said Bottles
with a gasp, “but I must ask you in
short, have you ever been on affectionate terms
with Madeline?”
“Never, on my honour.”
“And yet you think she will
marry you if you ask her, even after what took place
with me yesterday?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Why?”
“Because, my boy,” replied
Sir Eustace with a cynical smile, “I have eight
thousand a year and you have eight hundred because
I have a title and you have none. That you may
happen to be the better fellow of the two will, I
fear, not make up for those deficiencies.”
Bottles with a motion of his hand
waved his brother’s courtly compliment away,
as it were, and turned on him with a set white face.
“I do not believe you, Eustace,”
he said. “Do you understand what you make
out this lady to be when you say that she could kiss
me and tell me that she loved me for she
did both yesterday and promise to marry
you to-day?”
Sir Eustace shrugged his shoulders.
“I think that the lady in question has done
something like that before, George.”
“That was years ago and under
pressure. Now, Eustace, you have made this charge;
you have upset my faith in Madeline, whom I hope to
marry, and I say, prove it prove it if
you can. I will stake my life you cannot.”
“Don’t agitate yourself,
my dear fellow; and as to betting, I would not risk
more than a fiver. Now oblige me by stepping behind
those velvet curtains a la ’School
for Scandal’ and listening in perfect
silence to my conversation with Lady Croston.
She does not know that you are here, so she will not
miss you. You can escape when you have had enough
of it, for there is a door through on to the landing,
and as we came up I noticed that it was ajar.
Or if you like you can appear from between the curtains
like an infuriated husband on the stage and play whatever
rôle occasion may demand. Really the situation
has a laughable side. I should enjoy it immensely
if I were behind the curtain too. Come,
in you go.”
Bottles hesitated. “I can’t hide,”
he said.
“Nonsense; remember how much
depends on it. All is fair in love or war.
Quick; here she comes.”
Bottles grew flurried and yielded,
scarcely knowing what he did. In another second
he was in the darkened room behind the curtains, through
the crack in which he could command the lighted scene
before him, and Sir Eustace was back at his place
before the fire, reflecting that in his ardour to
extricate his brother from what he considered a suicidal
engagement he had let himself in for a very pretty
undertaking. Suppose she accepted him, his brother
would be furious, and he would probably have to go
abroad to get out of the lady’s way; and suppose
she refused him, he would look a fool.
Meanwhile the sweep, sweep of Madeline’s
dress as she passed down the stairs was drawing nearer,
and in another instant she was in the room. She
was beautifully dressed in silver-grey silk, plentifully
trimmed with black lace, and cut square back and front
so as to show her rounded shoulders. She wore
no ornaments, being one of the few women who are able
to dispense with them, unless indeed a red camellia
pinned in the front of her dress can be called an
ornament. Bottles, shivering with shame and doubt
behind his curtain, marked that red camellia, and
wondered of what it reminded him.
Then in a flash it all came back,
the scene of years and years ago the verandah
in far-away Natal, with himself sitting on it, an open
letter in his hand and staring with all his eyes at
the camellia bush covered with bloom before him.
It seemed a bad omen to him that camellia
in Madeline’s bosom. Next second she was
speaking.
“Oh, Sir Eustace, I owe you
a thousand apologies. You must have been here
for quite ten minutes, for I heard the front door bang
when you came. But my poor little girl Effie
is ill with a sore throat which has made her feverish,
and she absolutely refused to go to sleep unless she
had my hand to hold.”
“Lucky Effie,” said Sir
Eustace, with his politest bow; “I am sure I
can understand her fancy.”
At the moment he was holding Madeline’s
hand himself, and gave emphasis to his words by communicating
the gentlest possible pressure to it as he let it
fall. But knowing his habits, she did not take
much notice. Comparative strangers when Sir Eustace
shook hands with them were sometimes in doubt whether
he was about to propose to them or to make a remark
upon the weather. Alas! it had always been the
weather.
“I come as a man of business
besides, and men of business are accustomed to being
kept waiting,” he went on.
“You are really very good, Sir
Eustace, to take so much trouble about my affairs.”
“It is a pleasure, Lady Croston.”
“Ah, Sir Eustace, you do not
expect me to believe that,” laughed the radiant
creature at his side. “But if you only knew
how I detest lawyers, and what you spare me by the
trouble you take, I am sure you would not grudge me
your time.”
“Do not talk of it, Lady Croston.
I would do a great deal more than that for you; in
fact,” here he dropped his voice a little, “there
are few things that I would not do for you, Madeline.”
She raised her delicate eyebrows till
they looked like notes of interrogation, and blushed
a little. This was quite a new style for Sir
Eustace. Was he in earnest? she wondered.
Impossible!
“And now for business,”
he continued; “not that there is much business;
as I understand it, you have only to sign this document,
which I have already witnessed, and the stock can
be transferred.”
She signed the paper which he had
brought in a big envelope almost without looking at
it, for she was thinking of Sir Eustace’s remark,
and he put it back in the envelope.
“Is that all the business, Sir Eustace?”
she asked.
“Yes; quite all. Now I
suppose that as I have done my duty I had better go
away.”
“I wish to Heaven he would!”
groaned Bottles to himself behind the curtains.
He did not like his brother’s affectionate little
ways or Madeline’s tolerance of them.
“Indeed, no; you had better
sit down and talk to me that is, if you
have got nothing pleasanter to do.”
We can guess Sir Eustace’s prompt
reply and Madeline’s smiling reception of the
compliment, as she seated herself in a low chair that
same low chair she had occupied the day before.
“Now for it,” said Sir
Eustace to himself. “I wonder how George
is getting on?”
“My brother tells me that he
came to see you yesterday,” he began.
“Yes,” she answered, smiling
again, but wondering in her heart how much he had
told him.
“Do you find him much changed?”
“Not much.”
“You used to be very fond of
each other once, if I remember right?” said
he.
“Yes, once.”
“I often think how curious it
is,” went on Sir Eustace in a reflective tone,
“to watch the various changes time brings about,
especially where the affections are concerned.
One sees children at the seaside making little mounds
of sand, and they think, if they are very young children,
that they will find them there to-morrow. But
they reckon without their tide. To-morrow the
sands will have swept as level as ever, and the little
boys will have to begin again. It is like that
with our youthful love affairs, is it not? The
tide of time comes up and sweeps them away, fortunately
for ourselves. Now in your case, for instance,
it is, I think, a happy thing for both of you that
your sandhouse did not last. Is it not?”
Madeline sighed softly. “Yes, I suppose
so,” she answered.
Bottles, behind the curtains, rapidly
reviewed the past, and came to a different conclusion.
“Well, that is all done with,” said Sir
Eustace cheerfully.
Madeline did not contradict him; she
did not see her way to doing so just at present.
Then came a pause.
“Madeline,” said Sir Eustace
presently, in a changed voice, “I have something
to say to you.”
“Indeed, Sir Eustace,”
she answered, lifting her eyebrows again in her note
of interrogation manner, “what is it?”
“It is this, Madeline I want to ask
you to be my wife.”
The blue velvet curtains suddenly
gave a jump as though they were assisting at at spiritualistic
séance.
Sir Eustace looked at the curtains
with warning in his eye.
Madeline saw nothing.
“Really, Sir Eustace!”
“I dare say I surprise you,”
went on this ardent lover; “my suit may seem
a sudden one, but in truth it is nothing of the sort.”
“O Lord, what a lie!” groaned the distracted
Bottles.
“I thought, Sir Eustace,”
murmured Madeline in her sweet low voice, “that
you told me not very long ago that you never meant
to marry.”
“Nor did I, Madeline, because
I thought there was no chance of my marrying you”
("which I am sure I hope there isn’t,”
he added to himself). “But but,
Madeline, I love you.” ("Heaven forgive me for
that!”) “Listen to me, Madeline, before
you answer,” and he drew his chair closer to
her own. “I feel the loneliness of my position,
and I want to get married. I think that we should
suit each other very well. At our age, now that
our youth is past” (he could not resist this
dig, at which Madeline winced), “probably neither
of us would wish to marry anybody much our junior.
I have had many opportunities lately, Madeline, of
seeing the beauty of your character, and to the beauties
of your person no man could be blind. I can offer
you a good position, a good fortune, and myself, such
as I am. Will you take me?” and he laid
his hand upon hers and gazed earnestly into her eyes.
“Really, Sir Eustace,”
she murmured, “this is so very unexpected and
sudden.”
“Yes, Madeline, I know it is.
I have no right to take you by storm in this way,
but I trust you will not allow my precipitancy to weight
against me. Take a little time to think it over a
week say” ("by which time,” he reflected,
“I hope to be in Algiers.”) “Only,
if you can, Madeline, tell me that I may hope.”
She made no immediate answer, but,
letting her hands fall idly in her lap, looked straight
before her, her beautiful eyes fixed upon vacancy,
and her mind amply occupied in considering the pros
and cons of the situation. Then Sir Eustace took
heart of grace; bending down, he kissed the Madonna-like
face. Still there was no response. Only very
gently she pushed him from her, whispering:
“Yes, Eustace, I think I shall
be able to tell you that you may hope.”
Bottles waited to see no more.
With set teeth and flaming eyes he crept, a broken
man, through the door that led on to the landing, crept
down the stairs and into the hall. On the pegs
were his hat and coat; he took them and passed into
the street.
“I have done a disgraceful thing,”
he thought, “and I have paid for it.”
Softly as the door closed Sir Eustace
heard it; and then he too left the room, murmuring,
“I shall soon come for my answer, Madeline.”
When he reached the street his brother was gone.
VI
Sir Eustace did not go straight back
to the Albany, but, calling a hansom, drove down to
his club.
“Well,” he thought to
himself, “I have played a good many curious parts
in my time, but I never had to do with anything like
this before. I only hope George is not much cut
up. His eyes ought to be opened now. What
a woman ” but we will not
repeat Sir Eustace’s comments upon the lady
to whom he was nominally half engaged.
At the club Sir Eustace met his friend
the Under-Secretary, who had just escaped from the
House. Thanks to information furnished to him
that morning by Bottles, who had been despatched by
Sir Eustace, in a penitent mood, to the Colonial Office
to see him, he had just succeeded in confusing, if
not absolutely in defeating, the impertinent people
who “wanted to know.” Accordingly
he was jubilant, and greeted Sir Eustace with enthusiasm,
and they sat talking together for an hour or more.
Then Sir Eustace, being, as has been
said, of early habits, made his way home.
In his sitting-room he found his brother
smoking and contemplating the fire.
“Hullo, old fellow!” he
said, “I wish you had come to the club with me.
Atherleigh was there, and is delighted with you.
What you told him this morning enabled him to smash
up his enemies, and as the smashing lately has been
rather the other way he is jubilant. He wants
you to go to see him again to-morrow. Oh, by
the way, you made your escape all right. I only
hope I may be as lucky. Well, what do you think
of your lady-love now?”
“I think,” said Bottles
slowly “that I had rather not say
what I do think.”
“Well, you are not going to marry her now, I
suppose?”
“No, I shall not marry her.”
“That is all right; but I expect
that it will take me all I know to get clear
of her. However, there are some occasions in life
when one is bound to sacrifice one’s own convenience,
and this is one of them. After all, she is really
very pretty in the evening, so it might have been
worse.”
Bottles winced, and Sir Eustace took a cigarette.
“By the way, old fellow,”
he said, as he settled himself in his chair again,
“I hope you are not put out with me over this.
Believe me, you have no cause to be jealous; she does
not care a hang about me, it is only the title and
the money. If a fellow who was a lord and had
a thousand a year more proposed to her to-morrow she
would chuck me up and take him.”
“No; I am not angry with you,”
said Bottles; “you meant kindly, but I am angry
with myself. It was not honourable to in
short, play the spy upon a woman’s weakness.”
“You are very scrupulous,”
yawned Sir Eustace; “all means are fair to catch
a snake. Dear me, I nearly exploded once or twice;
it was better than [yawn] any [yawn] play,”
and Sir Eustace went to sleep.
Bottles sat still and stared at the fire.
Presently his brother woke up with
a start. “Oh, you are there, are you, Bottles?”
(it was the first time he had called him by that name
since his return.) “Odd thing; but do you know
that I was dreaming that we were boys again, and trout-fishing
in the old Cantlebrook stream. I dreamt that
I hooked a big fish, and you were so excited that you
jumped right into the river after it you
did once, you remember and the river swept
you away and left me on the bank; most unpleasant dream.
Well, good night, old boy. I vote we go down
and have some trout-fishing together in the spring.
God bless you!”
“Good night,” said Bottles,
gazing affectionately after his brother’s departing
form.
Then he too rose and went to his bedroom.
On a table stood a battered old tin despatch-box the
companion of all his wanderings. He opened it
and took from it first a little bottle of chloral.
“Ah,” he said, “I
shall want you if I am to sleep again.”
Setting the bottle down, he extracted from a dirty
envelope one or two letters and a faded photograph.
It was the same that used to hang over his bed in his
quarters at Maritzburg. These he destroyed, tearing
them into small bits with his strong brown fingers.
Then he shut the box and sat down
at the table to think, opening the sluice-gates of
his mind and letting the sea of misery flow in, as
it were.
This, then, was the woman whom he
had forgiven and loved and honoured for all these
years. This was the end and this the reward of
all his devotion and of all his hopes. And he
smiled in bitterness of his pain and self-contempt.
What was he to do? Go back to
South Africa? He had not the heart for it.
Live here? He could not. His existence had
been wasted. He had lost his delusion the
beautiful delusion of his life and he felt
as though it would drive him mad, as the man whose
shadow left him went mad.
He rose from the chair, opened the
window, and looked out. It was a clear frosty
night, and the stars shone brightly. For some
while he stood looking at them; then he undressed
himself. Generally, for he was different to most
men, he said his prayers. For years, indeed, he
had not missed doing so, any more than he had missed
praying Providence in them to watch over and bless
his beloved Madeline. But to-night he said no
prayers. He could not pray. The three angels,
Faith, Hope, and Love, whose whisperings heretofore
had been ever in his ears, had taken wing, and left
him as he played the eavesdropper behind those blue
velvet curtains.
So he swallowed his sleeping-draught
and laid himself down to rest.
When Madeline Croston heard the news
at a dinner-party on the following evening she was
much shocked, and made up her mind to go home early.
To this day she tells the story as a frightful warning
against the careless use of chloral.