“She never has anyone to take
her out, and goes nowhere, and yet she can’t
be more than twenty-seven, and really she’s not
bad-looking.”
“It’s not looks that attract
men,” there was a note of finality in the voice;
“it’s something else.” The
speaker snapped off her words in a tone that marked
extreme disapproval.
“What else?” enquired the other voice.
“Oh, it’s well,
it’s something not quite nice,” replied
the other voice darkly, “the French call it
being très femme. However, she hasn’t
got it.”
“Well, I feel very sorry for
her and her loneliness. I am sure she would
be much happier if she had a nice young man of her
own class to take her about.”
Patricia Brent listened with flaming
cheeks. She felt as if someone had struck her.
She recognised herself as the object of the speakers’
comments. She could not laugh at the words, because
they were true. She was lonely, she had
no men friends to take her about, and yet, and yet
“Twenty-seven,” she muttered
indignantly, “and I was only twenty-four last
November.”
She identified the two speakers as
Miss Elizabeth Wangle and Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe.
Miss Wangle was the great-niece of
a bishop, and to have a bishop in heaven is a great
social asset on earth. This ecclesiastical distinction
seemed to give her the right of leadership at the Galvin
House Residential Hotel. Whenever a new boarder
arrived, the unfortunate bishop was disinterred and
brandished before his eyes.
One facetious young man in the “commercial
line” had dubbed her “the body-snatcher,”
and, being inordinately proud of his jeu d’esprit,
he had worn it threadbare, and Miss Wangle had got
to know of it. The result was the sudden departure
of the wit. Miss Wangle had intimated to Mrs.
Craske-Morton, the proprietress, that if he remained
she would go. Mrs. Craske-Morton considered
that Miss Wangle gave tone to Galvin House.
Miss Wangle was acid of speech and
barren of pity. Scandal and “the dear
bishop” were her chief preoccupations.
She regularly read The Morning Post, which
she bought, and The Times, which she borrowed.
In her attitude towards royalty she was a Jacobite,
and of the aristocracy she knew no wrong.
Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe was Miss Wangle’s
toady; but she wrapped her venom in Christian charity,
thus making herself the more dangerous of the two.
At Galvin House none dare gainsay
these two in their pronouncements. They were
disliked; but more feared than hated. During
the Zeppelin scare Mr. Bolton, who was the humorist
of Galvin House, had fixed a notice to the drawing-room
door, which read: “Zeppelin commanders are
requested to confine their attentions to rooms 8 and
18.” Rooms 8 and 18 were those occupied
by Miss Wangle and Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe. There
had been a great fuss about this harmless and rather
feeble joke; but fortunately for Mr. Bolton, he had
taken care to pin his jest on the door when no one
was looking, and he took the additional precaution
of being foremost in his denunciation of the bad taste
shown by the person responsible for the jest.
Patricia Brent was coming downstairs
in response to the dinner-gong, when, through the
partly open door of the lounge, she overheard the
amiable remarks concerning herself. She passed
quietly into the dining-room and took her seat at
the table in silence, mechanically acknowledging the
greetings of her fellow-guests.
At Galvin House the word “guest”
was insisted upon. Mrs. Craske-Morton, in announcing
the advent of a new arrival, reached the pinnacle
of refinement. “We have another guest coming,”
she would say, “a most interesting man,”
or “a very cultured woman,” as the case
might be. When the man arrived without his interest,
or the woman without her culture, no one was disappointed;
for no one had expected anything. The conventions
had been observed and that was all that mattered.
Dinner at Galvin House was rather
a dismal affair. The separate tables heresy,
advocated by a progressive-minded guest, had been once
and for all discouraged by Miss Wangle, who announced
that if separate tables were introduced she, for one,
would not stay.
“I remember the dear bishop
once saying to me,” she remarked, “’My
dear, if people can’t say what they have to say
at a large table and in the hearing of others, then
let it for ever remain unsaid.’”
“But if someone’s dress
is awry, or their hair is not on straight, would you
announce the fact to the whole table?” Patricia
had questioned with an innocence that was a little
overdone.
Miss Wangle had glared; for she wore
the most obvious auburn wig, which failed to convince
anyone, and served only to enhance the pallor of her
sharp features.
In consequence of the table arrangements,
conversation during meal-times was general and
dull. Mr. Bolton joked, Miss Wangle poured vinegar
on oily waters, Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe “dripped
with the oil of forbearance.” Mr. Cordal
ate noisily, Miss Sikkum simpered and Mrs. Craske-Morton
strove to appear a real hostess entertaining real guests
without the damning prefix “paying.”
The remaining guests, there were usually
round about twenty-five, looked as they felt they
ought to look, and never failed to show a befitting
reverence for Miss Wangle’s ecclesiastical relic;
for it was Miss Wangle who issued the social birth
certificates at Galvin House.
That evening Patricia was silent.
Mr. Bolton endeavoured to draw her out, but failed.
As a rule she was the first to laugh at his jokes
in order “to encourage the poor little man,”
as she expressed it; “for a man who is fat and
bald and a bachelor and thinks he’s a humorist
wants all the pity that the world can lavish upon
him.”
Patricia glanced round the table,
from Miss Wangle, lean as a winter wolf, to Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe,
fair, chubby and faded, and on to Mr. Cordal, lantern-jawed
and ravenous. “Were they not all lonely the
left of God?” Patricia asked herself; and yet
two of these solitary souls had dared to pity her,
Patricia Brent. At least she had something they
did not possess youth.
The more she thought of the words
that had drifted to her through the half-closed door
of the lounge, the more humiliating they appeared.
Her day had been particularly trying and she was tired.
She was in a mood to see a cyclone in a zephyr, and
in a ripple a gigantic wave. She looked about
her once more. What a fate to be cast among such
people!
The table appointments seemed more
than usually irritating that evening. The base
metal that peeped slyly through the silver of the
forks and spoons, the tapering knives, victims of much
cleaning, with their yellow handles, the salt-cellars,
the mustard, browning with three days’ age (mustard
was replenished on Sundays only), the anæmic ferns
in “artistic” pots, every defect seemed
emphasized.
How she hated it; but most of all
the many-shaped and multi-coloured napkin-rings, at
Galvin House known as “serviette-rings.”
Variety was necessary to ensure each guest’s
personal interest in one particular napkin.
Did they ever get mixed? Patricia shuddered at
the thought. At the end of the week, a “serviette”
had become a sort of gastronomic diary. By Saturday
evening (new “serviettes” were served out
on Sunday at luncheon) the square of grey-white fabric
had many things recorded upon it; but above all, like
a monarch dominating his subjects, was the ineradicable
aroma of Monday’s kipper.
On this particular evening Galvin
House seemed more than ever grey and depressing.
Patricia found herself wondering if God had really
made all these people in His own image. They
seemed so petty, so ungodlike. The way they regarded
their food, as it was handed to them, suggested that
they were for ever engaged in a comparison of what
they paid with what they received. Did God make
people in His own image and then leave the rest to
them? Was that where free will came in?
“ lonely!”
The word seemed to crash in upon her
thoughts with explosive force. Someone had used
it whom she did not know, or in what relation.
It brought her back to earth and Galvin House.
“Lonely,” that was at the root of her
depression. She was an object of pity among her
fellow-boarders. It was intolerable! She
understood why girls “did things” to escape
from such surroundings and such fox-pity.
Had she been a domestic servant she
could have hired a soldier, that is before the war.
Had she been a typist or a shop-girl well,
there were the park and tubes and things where gallant
youth approached fair maiden. No, she was just
a girl who could not do these things, and in consequence
became the pitied of the Miss Wangles and the Mrs.
Mosscrop-Smythes of Bayswater.
She was quite content to be manless,
she did not like men, at least not the sort she had
encountered. There were Boltons and Cordals
in plenty. There were the “Haven’t-we-met-before?”
kind too, the hunters who seemed cheerfully to get
out at the wrong station, or pay twopence on a bus
for a penny fare in order to pursue some face that
had attracted their roving eye.
She sighed involuntarily at the ugliness
of it all, this cheapening of the things worthy of
reverence and respect. She looked across at Miss
Sikkum, whose short skirts and floppy hats had involved
her in many unconventional adventures that one glance
at her face had corrected as if by magic. A
back view of Miss Sikkum was deceptive.
Suddenly Patricia made a resolve.
Had she paused to think she would have seen the danger;
but she was by nature impulsive, and the conversation
she had overheard had angered and humiliated her.
Her resolve synchronised with the
arrival of the sweet stage. Turning to Mrs.
Craske-Morton she remarked casually, “I shall
not be in to dinner to-morrow night, Mrs. Morton.”
Mrs. Craske-Morton always liked her
guests to tell her when they were not likely to be
in to dinner. “It saves the servants laying
an extra cover,” she would explain. As
a matter of fact it saved Mrs. Craske-Morton preparing
for an extra mouth.
If Patricia had hurled a bomb into
the middle of the dining-table, she could not have
attracted to herself more attention than by her simple
remark that she was not dining at Galvin House on the
morrow.
Everybody stopped eating to stare
at her. Miss Sikkum missed her aim with a trifle
of apple charlotte, and spent the rest of the
evening in endeavouring to remove the stain from a
pale blue satin blouse, which in Brixton is known
as “a Paris model.” It was Miss Wangle
who broke the silence.
“How interesting,” she
said. “We shall quite miss you, Miss Brent.
I suppose you are working late.”
The whole table waited for Patricia’s
response with breathless expectancy.
“No!” she replied nonchalantly.
“I know,” said Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe,
in her even tones, and wagging an admonitory finger
at her. “You’re going to a revue,
or a music-hall.”
“Or to sow her wild oats,” added Mr. Bolton.
Then some devil took possession of
Patricia. She would give them something to talk
about for the next month. They should have a
shock.
“No,” she replied indifferently,
attracting to herself the attention of the whole table
by her deliberation. “No, I’m not
going to a revue, a music-hall, or to sow my wild
oats. As a matter of fact,” she paused.
They literally hung upon her words. “As
a matter of fact I am dining with my fiance.”
The effect was electrical. Miss
Sikkum stopped dabbing the front of her Brixton “Paris
model.” Miss Wangle dropped her pince-nez
on the edge of her plate and broke the right-hand
glass. Mr. Cordal, a heavy man who seldom spoke,
but enjoyed his food with noisy gusto, actually exclaimed,
“What?” Almost without exception the others
repeated his exclamation.
“Your fiance?” stuttered Miss Wangle.
“But, dear Miss Brent,”
said Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe, “you never told us
that you were engaged.”
“Didn’t I?” enquired Patricia indifferently.
“And you don’t wear a ring,” interposed
Miss Sikkum eagerly.
“I hate badges of servitude,” remarked
Patricia with a laugh.
“But an engagement ring,”
insinuated Miss Sikkum with a self-conscious giggle.
“One is freer without a ring,” replied
Patricia.
Miss Wangle’s jaw dropped.
“Marriages are ” she
began.
“Made in heaven. I know,”
broke in Patricia, “but you try wearing Turkish
slippers in London, Miss Wangle, and you’ll soon
want to go back to the English boots. It’s
silly to make things in one place to be worn in another;
they never fit.”
Mrs. Craske-Morton coughed portentously.
“Really, Miss Brent,” she exclaimed.
Whenever conversation seemed likely
to take an undesirable turn, or she foresaw a storm
threatening, Mrs. Craske-Morton’s “Really,
Mr. So-and-so” invariably guided it back into
a safe channel.
“But do they?” persisted
Patricia. “Can you, Mrs. Morton, seriously
regard marriage in this country as a success?
It’s all because marriages are made in heaven
without taking into consideration our climatic conditions.”
Miss Wangle had lost the power of
speech. Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe was staring at
Patricia as if she had been something strange and unclean
upon which her eyes had never hitherto lighted.
In the eyes of little Mrs. Hamilton, a delightfully
French type of old lady, there was a gleam of amusement.
Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe was the first to recover the
power of speech.
“Is your fiance in the army?”
“Yes,” replied Patricia
desperately. She had long since thrown over
all caution.
“Oh, tell us his name,” giggled Miss Sikkum.
“Brown,” said Patricia.
“Is his knapsack number 99?” enquired
Mr. Bolton.
“He doesn’t wear one,” said Patricia,
now thoroughly enjoying herself.
“Oh, he’s an officer, then,” this
from Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe.
“Is he a first or a second lieutenant?”
enquired Mrs. Craske-Morton.
“Major,” responded Patricia laconically.
“What’s he in?” was the next question.
“West Loamshires.”
“What battalion?” enquired
Miss Wangle, who had now regained the power of speech.
“I have a cousin in the Fifth.”
“I am sure I can’t remember,”
said Patricia, “I never could remember numbers.”
“Not remember the number of
the battalion in which your fiance is?” There
was incredulous disapproval in Miss Wangle’s
voice.
“No! I’m awfully
sorry,” replied Patricia, “I suppose it’s
very horrid of me; but I’ll go upstairs and
look it up if you like.”
“Oh please don’t trouble,”
said Miss Wangle icily. “I remember the
dear bishop once saying ”
“And I suppose after dinner
you’ll go to a theatre,” interrupted Mrs.
Mosscrop-Smythe, for the first time in the memory of
the oldest guest indifferent to the bishop and what
he had said, thought, or done.
“Oh, no, it’s war time,”
said Patricia, “we shall just dine quietly at
the Quadrant Grill-room.”
A meaning glance passed between Mrs.
Mosscrop-Smythe and Miss Wangle. Why she had
fixed upon the Quadrant Grill-room Patricia could not
have said.
“And now,” said Patricia,
“I must run upstairs and see that my best bib
and tucker are in proper condition to be worn before
my fiance. I’ll tell him what you say
about the ring. Good night, everybody, if we
don’t meet again.”
“Patricia Brent,” admonished
Patricia to her reflection in the looking-glass, as
she brushed her hair that night, “you’re
a most unmitigated little liar. You’ve
told those people the wickedest of wicked lies.
You’ve engaged yourself to an unknown major
in the British Army. You’re going to dine
with him to-morrow night, and heaven knows what will
be the result of it all. A single lie leads to
so many. Oh, Patricia, Patricia!” she nodded
her head admonishingly at the reflection in the glass.
“You’re really a very wicked young woman.”
Then she burst out laughing. “At least,
I have given them something to talk about, any old
how. By now they’ve probably come to the
conclusion that I’m a most awful rip.”
Patricia never confessed it to herself,
but she was extremely lonely. Instinctively shy
of strangers, she endeavoured to cover up her self-consciousness
by assuming an attitude of nonchalance, and the result
was that people saw only the artificiality. She
had been brought up in the school of “men are
beasts,” and she took no trouble to disguise
her indifference to them. With women she was
more popular. If anyone were ill at Galvin House,
it was always Patricia Brent who ministered to them,
sat and read to them, and cheered them through convalescence
back to health.
Her acquaintance with men had been
almost entirely limited to those she had found in
the various boarding-houses, glorified in the name
of residential hotels, at which she had stayed.
Five years previously, on the death of her father,
a lawyer in a small country town, she had come to
London and obtained a post as secretary to a blossoming
politician. There she had made herself invaluable,
and there she had stayed, performing the same tasks
day after day, seldom going out, since the war never
at all, and living a life calculated to make an acid
spinster of a Venus or a Juno.
“Oh, bother to-morrow!”
said Patricia as she got into bed that night; “it’s
a long way off and perhaps something will happen before
then,” and with that she switched off the light.