The next morning Patricia awakened
with a feeling that something had occurred in her
life. For a time she lay pondering as to what
it could be. Suddenly memory came with a flash,
and she smiled. That night she was dining out!
As suddenly as it had come the smile faded from her
lips and eyes, and she mentally apostrophised herself
as a little idiot for what she had done. Then,
remembering Miss Wangle’s remark and the expression
on Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe’s face, the lines of
her mouth hardened, and there was a determined air
about the tilt of her chin. She smiled again.
“Patricia Brent! No, that
won’t do,” she broke off. Then springing
out of bed she went over to the mirror, adjusted the
dainty boudoir cap upon her head and, bowing elaborately
to her reflection, said, “Patricia Brent, I
invite you to dine with me this evening at the Quadrant
Grill-room. I hope you’ll be able to come.
How delightful. We shall have a most charming
time.” Then she sat on the edge of the
bed and pondered.
Of course she would have to come back
radiantly happy, girls who have been out with their
fiance’s always return radiantly happy.
“That will mean two crèmes de menthes
instead of one, that’s another shilling, perhaps
two,” she murmured. Then she must have
a good dinner or else the crème de menthe would
get into her head, that would mean about seven shillings
more. “Oh! Patricia, Patricia,”
she wailed, “you have let yourself in for an
expense of at least ten shillings, the point being
is a major in the British Army worth an expenditure
of ten shillings? We shall ”
She was interrupted by the maid knocking
at the door to inform her that it was her turn for
the bath-room.
As Patricia walked across the Park
that morning on her way to Eaton Square, where the
politician lived who employed her as private secretary
whilst he was in the process of rising, she pondered
over her last night’s announcement. She
was convinced that she had acted foolishly, and in
a way that would probably involve her in not only
expense, but some trouble and inconvenience.
At the breakfast-table the conversation
had been entirely devoted to herself, her fiance,
and the coming dinner together. Miss Wangle,
Mrs. Mosscrop-Smythe, and Miss Sikkum, supported by
Mrs. Craske-Morton, had returned to the charge time
after time. Patricia had taken refuge in her
habitual breakfast silence and, finding that they could
draw nothing from her her fellow-guests had proceeded
to discuss the matter among themselves. It was
with a feeling of relief that Patricia rose from the
table.
There was an east wind blowing, and
Patricia had always felt that an east wind made her
a materialist. This morning she was depressed;
there was in her heart a feeling that fate had not
been altogether kind to her. Her childhood had
been spent in a small town on the East Coast under
the care of her father’s sister who, when Mrs.
Brent died, had come to keep house for Mr. John Brent
and take care of his five-year-old daughter.
In her aunt Patricia found a woman soured by life.
What it was that had soured her Patricia could never
gather; but Aunt Adelaide was for ever emphasizing
the fact that men were beasts.
Later Patricia saw in her aunt a disappointed
woman. She could remember as a child examining
with great care her aunt’s hard features and
angular body, and wondering if she had ever been pretty,
and if anyone had kissed her because they wanted to
and not because it was expected of them.
The lack of sympathy between aunt
and niece had driven Patricia more and more to seek
her father’s companionship. He was a silent
man, little given to emotion or demonstration of affection.
He loved Patricia, but lacked the faculty of conveying
to her the knowledge of his love.
As she walked across the Park Patricia
came to the conclusion that, for some reason or other,
love, or the outward visible signs of love, had been
denied her. Warm-hearted, impetuous, spontaneous,
she had been chilled by the self-repression of her
father, and the lack of affection of her aunt.
She had been schooled to regard God as the God of
punishment rather than the God of love. One of
her most terrifying recollections was that of the
Sundays spent under the paternal roof. To her
father, religion counted for nothing; but to her aunt
it counted for everything in the world; the hereafter
was to be the compensation for renunciation in this
world. Miss Brent’s attitude towards prayer
was that of one who regards it as a means by which
she is able to convey to the Almighty what she expects
of Him in the next world as a reward for what she
has done, or rather not done, in this.
Patricia had once asked, in a childish
moment of speculation, “But, Aunt Adelaide,
suppose God doesn’t make us happy in the next
world, what shall we do then?”
“Oh! yes He will,” was
her aunt’s reply, uttered with such grimness
that Patricia, though only six years of age, had been
satisfied that not even God would dare to disappoint
Aunt Adelaide.
Patricia had been a lonely child.
She had come to distrust spontaneity and, in consequence,
became shy and self-conscious, with the inevitable
result that other children, the few who were in Aunt
Adelaide’s opinion fit for her to associate
with, made it obvious that she was one by herself.
Patricia had fallen back on her father’s library,
where she had read many books that would have caused
her aunt agonies of stormy anguish, had she known.
Patricia early learnt the necessity
for dissimulation. She always carefully selected
two books, one that she could ostensibly be reading
if her aunt happened to come into the library, and
the other that she herself wanted to read, and of
which she knew her aunt would strongly disapprove.
Miss Brent regarded boarding-schools
as “hotbeds of vice,” and in consequence
Patricia was educated at home, educated in a way that
she would never have been at any school; for Miss
Brent was thorough in everything she undertook.
The one thing for which Patricia had to be grateful
to her aunt was her general knowledge, and the sane
methods adopted with her education. But for
this she would not have been in the position to accept
a secretaryship to a politician.
When Patricia was twenty-one her father
had died, and she inherited from her mother an annuity
of a hundred pounds a year. Her aunt had suggested
that they should live together; but Patricia had announced
her intention of working, and with the money that she
realised from the sale of her father’s effects,
particularly his library, she came to London and underwent
a course of training in shorthand, typewriting, and
general secretarial work. This was in March,
1914. Before she was ready to undertake a post,
the war broke out upon Europe like a cataclysm, and
a few months later Patricia had obtained a post as
private secretary to Mr. Arthur Bonsor, M.P.
Mr. Bonsor was the victim of marriage.
Destiny had ordained that he should spend his life
in golf and gardening, or in breeding earless rabbits
and stingless bees. He was bucolic and passive.
Mrs. Bonsor, however, after a slight altercation
with Destiny, had decided that Mr. Bonsor was to become
a rising politician. Thus it came about that,
pushed on from behind by Mrs. Bonsor and led by Patricia,
whose general knowledge was of the greatest possible
assistance to him, Mr. Bonsor was in the elaborate
process of rising at the time when Patricia determined
to have a fiance.
Mr. Bonsor was a small, fair-haired
man, prematurely bald, an indifferent speaker; but
excellent in committee. Instinctively he was
gentle and kind. Mrs. Bonsor disliked Patricia
and Patricia was indifferent to Mrs. Bonsor.
Mrs. Bonsor, however, recognised that in Patricia
her husband had a remarkably good secretary, one whom
it would be difficult to replace.
Mrs. Bonsor’s attitude to everyone
who was not in a superior position to herself was
one of patronage. Patricia she looked upon as
an upper servant, although she never dare show it.
Patricia, on the other hand, showed very clearly
that she had no intention of being treated other than
as an equal by Mrs. Bonsor, and the result was a sort
of armed neutrality. They seldom met; when by
chance they encountered each other in the house Mrs.
Bonsor would say, “Good morning, Miss Brent;
I hope you walked across the Park.” Patricia
would reply, “Yes, most enjoyable; I invariably
walk across the Park when I have time”; and
with a forced smile Mrs. Bonsor would say, “That
is very wise of you.”
Never did Mrs. Bonsor speak to Patricia
without enquiring if she had walked across the Park.
One day Patricia anticipated Mrs. Bonsor’s
inevitable question by announcing, “I walked
across the Park this morning, Mrs. Bonsor, it was
most delightful,” and Mrs. Bonsor had glared
at her, but, remembering Patricia’s value to
her husband, had made a non-committal reply and passed
on. Henceforth, Mrs. Bonsor dropped all reference
to the Park.
On the first day of Patricia’s
entry into the Bonsor household, Mrs. Bonsor had remarked,
“Of course you will stay to lunch,” and
Patricia had thanked her and said she would.
But when she found that her luncheon was served on
a tray in the library, where Mr. Bonsor did his work,
she had decided that henceforth exercise in the middle
of the day was necessary for her, and she lunched
out.
Mr. Bonsor had married beneath him.
His father, a land-poor squire in the north of England,
had impressed upon all his sons that money was essential
as a matrimonial asset, and Mr. Bonsor, not having
sufficient individuality to starve for love, had determined
to follow the parental decree. How he met Miss
Triggs, the daughter of the prosperous Streatham builder
and contractor, Samuel Triggs, nobody knew, but his
father had congratulated him very cordially about having
contrived to marry her. Miss Triggs’s
friends to a woman were of the firm conviction that
it was Miss Triggs who had married Mr. Bonsor.
“’Ettie’s so ambitious.” remarked
her father soon after the wedding, “that it’s
almost a relief to get ’er married.”
Mr. Bonsor was scarcely back from
his honeymoon before he was in full possession of
the fact that Mrs. Bonsor had determined that he should
become famous. She had read how helpful many
great men’s wives had been in their career,
and she determined to be the power behind the indeterminate
Arthur Bonsor. Poor Mr. Bonsor, who desired nothing
better than a peaceable life and had looked forward
to a future of ease and prosperity when he married
Miss Triggs, discovered when too late that he had
married not so much Miss Triggs, as an abstract sense
of ambition. Domestic peace was to be purchased
only by an attitude of entire submission to Mrs. Bonsor’s
schemes. He was not without brains, but he lacked
that impetus necessary to “getting on.”
Mrs. Bonsor, who was not lacking in shrewdness, observed
this and determined that she herself would be the
impetus.
Mr. Bonsor came to dread meal-times,
that is meal-times tete-a-tete. During
these symposiums he was subjected to an elaborate
cross-examination as to what he was doing to achieve
greatness. Mrs. Bonsor insisted upon his being
present at every important function to which he could
gain admittance, particularly the funerals of the
illustrious great. Egged on by her he became
an inveterate writer of letters to the newspapers,
particularly The Times. Sometimes his
letters appeared, which caused Mrs. Bonsor intense
gratification: but editors soon became shy of
a man who bombarded them with letters upon every conceivable
subject, from the submarine menace to the question
of “should women wear last year’s frocks?”
Mr. Triggs had once described his
daughter very happily: “’Ettie’s
one of them that ain’t content with pressing
a bell, but she must keep ’er thumb on the bell-push.”
That was Mrs. Bonsor all over; she lacked restraint,
both physical and artistic, and she conceived that
if you only make noise enough people will, sooner
or later, begin to take notice.
Within three years of his marriage,
Mr. Bonsor entered the House of Commons. He
had first of all fought in a Radical constituency and
been badly beaten; but the second time he had, by
some curious juggling of chance, been successful in
an almost equally strong Radical division, much to
the delight of Mrs. Bonsor. The success had been
largely due to her idea of flooding the constituency
with pretty girl-canvassers; but she had been very
careful to keep a watchful eye on Mr. Bonsor.
One of her reasons for engaging Patricia,
for really Mrs. Bonsor was responsible for the engagement,
had been that she had decided that Patricia was indifferent
to men, and she decided that Mr. Bonsor might safely
be trusted with Patricia Brent for long periods of
secretarial communion.
Mr. Bonsor, although not lacking in
susceptibility, was entirely devoid of that courage
which subjugates the feminine heart. Once he
had permitted his hand to rest upon Patricia’s;
but he never forgot the look she gave him and, for
weeks after, he felt a most awful dog, and wondered
if Patricia would tell Mrs. Bonsor.
When she married, Mrs. Bonsor saw
that it would be necessary to drop her family, that
is as far as practicable. It could not be done
entirely, because her father was responsible for the
allowance which made it possible for the Bonsors to
live in Eaton Square. The old man was not lacking
in shrewdness, and he had no intention of being thrown
overboard by his ambitious daughter. It occasionally
happened that Mr. Triggs would descend upon the Bonsor
household and, although Mrs. Bonsor did her best to
suppress him, that is without in any way showing she
was ashamed of her parent, he managed to make Patricia’s
acquaintance and, from that time, made a practice of
enquiring for and having a chat with her.
Mrs. Bonsor was grateful to providence
for having removed her mother previous to her marriage.
Mrs. Triggs had been a homely soul, with a marked
inclination to be “friendly.” She
overflowed with good-humour, and was a woman who would
always talk in an omnibus, or join a wedding crowd
and compare notes with those about her. She addressed
Mr. Triggs as “Pa,” which caused her daughter
a mental anguish of which Mrs. Triggs was entirely
unaware. It was not until Miss Triggs was almost
out of her teens that her mother was persuaded to cease
calling her “Girlie.”
In Mrs. Bonsor the reforming spirit
was deeply ingrained; but she had long since despaired
of being able to influence her father’s taste
in dress. She groaned in spirit each time she
saw him, for his sartorial ideas were not those of
Mayfair. He leaned towards checks, rather loud
checks, trousers that were tight about the calf, and
a coat that was a sporting conception of the morning
coat, with a large flapped pocket on either side.
He invariably wore a red tie and an enormous watch-chain
across his prosperous-looking figure. His hat
was a high felt, an affair that seemed to have set
out in life with the ambition of being a top hat,
but losing heart had compromised.
If Mrs. Bonsor dreaded her father’s
visits, Patricia welcomed them. She was genuinely
fond of the old man. Mr. Triggs radiated happiness
from the top of his shiny bald head, with its fringe
of sandy-grey hair, to his square-toed boots that
invariably emitted little squeaks of joy. He
wore a fringe of whiskers round his chubby face, otherwise
he was clean-shaven, holding that beards were “messy”
things. He had what Patricia called “crinkly”
eyes, that is to say each time he smiled there seemed
to radiate from them hundreds of little lines.
He always addressed Patricia as “me
dear,” and not infrequently brought her a box
of chocolates, to the scandal of Mrs. Bonsor, who had
once expostulated with him that that was not the way
to treat her husband’s secretary.
“Tut, tut, ’Ettie,”
had been Mr. Triggs’s response. “She’s
a fine gal. If I was a bit younger I shouldn’t
be surprised if there was a second Mrs. Triggs.”
“Father!” Mrs. Bonsor
had expostulated in horror. “Remember that
she is Arthur’s secretary.”
Mr. Triggs had almost choked with
laughter; mirth invariably seemed to interfere with
his respiration and ended in violent and wheezy coughings
and gaspings. Had Mrs. Bonsor known that he repeated
the conversation to Patricia, she would have been
mortified almost to the point of discharging her husband’s
secretary.
“You see, me dear,” Mr.
Triggs had once said to Patricia, “’Ettie’s
so busy bothering about aitches that she’s got
time for nothing else. She ain’t exactly
proud of her old father,” he had added shrewdly,
“but she finds ’is brass a bit useful.”
Mr. Triggs was under no delusion as to his daughter’s
attitude towards him.
One day he had asked Patricia rather
suddenly, “Why don’t you get married,
me dear?”
Patricia had started and looked up
at him quickly. “Married, me, Mr. Triggs?
Oh! I suppose for one thing nobody wants me,
and for another I’m not in love.”
Mr. Triggs had pondered a little over this.
“That’s right, me dear!”
he said at length. “Never you marry except
you feel you can’t ’elp it, then you’ll
know it’s the right one. Don’t you
marry a chap because he’s got a lot of brass.
You marry for the same reason that me and my missis
married, because we felt we couldn’t do without
each other,” and the old man’s voice grew
husky. “You wouldn’t believe it,
me dear, ’ow I miss ’er, though she’s
been dead eight years next May.”
Patricia had been deeply touched and,
not knowing what to say, had stretched out her hand
to the old man, who took and held it for a moment
in his. As she drew her hand away she felt a
tear splash upon it, and it was not her own.
“Ever hear that song ’My
Old Dutch’?” he asked after a lengthy silence.
Patricia nodded.
“I used to sing it to ’er God
bless my soul! what an old fool I’m gettin’,
talkin’ to you in this way. Now I must
be gettin’ off. Lor! what would ’Ettie
say if she knew?”
But Mrs. Bonsor did not know.