They came up to London in a first-class
compartment. Any one could have told they were
on their honeymoon, for they wore perfectly new clothes,
and on their knees between them they balanced a perfectly
new tea-basket. They were making tea and sandwiches,
and although it was all rather messy, it gave them
the illusion of house-keeping. The lumbering
local seemed to them to be racing, and the country
sped by and vanished as quickly as the fleeting moments,
for it was the afternoon of the fourth day. An
old lady and gentleman, their only traveling companions,
went tactfully to sleep. Leonard glanced warily
at them, and turned his back on the flying landscape.
“Marjorie,” he said, carefully
peeling a hard-boiled egg; “Marjie.”
“Yes, Len.”
“Were you ever in love before this?”
Marjorie laughed. She was in
the mood for laughter. She must be happy and
light-hearted. Time enough later on to be serious.
“Sure,” she replied gravely, mocking eyes
on Leonard. “Weren’t you?”
Leonard shook his head. “Just
with actresses and things, when I was a kid.
Never, really.”
“I suppose,” said Marjorie,
pensively, “I ought to care if you’ve been
bad or not, but I don’t.”
“But Marjie, darling,” Leonard
brought her back and went straight to his point, “were
you ever really in love with that German chap you
spoke of when I gave you the helmet?”
“He was my first love,”
said Marjorie, with wicked demureness. “I
was fifteen and he was eighteen.”
“You were just a flapper,”
said Leonard; “you couldn’t be in love.”
“A woman is never too young
to adore some man,” said Marjorie, sagely.
“I was a miserable homesick wretch, spending
the winter in a German boarding-school.”
“A German school! What for?”
Marjorie, her small face drawn with
fatigue, but her eyes vivid with excitement, regarded
him pertly.
“In order to learn German and culture.”
Leonard gave a grunt.
“Yes, Len, dear, it was dreadful.
You never could have stood it, you’re so particular,”
Marjorie said, settling her head against Leonard’s
arm. “The girls only bathed once a year!”
“Dirty beasts!” muttered
Leonard. “But what’s that got to do
with the point?”
“I’m preparing you for
that by degrees. Len, dear, it was dreadful.
No one spoke a word of English, and I couldn’t
speak a word of German, and it was such a long winter,
and all the flowers and grass were dead in the garden,
and at night a huge walnut tree used to rattle against
my window and scare me; and they don’t open
their windows at night, and I nearly died of suffocation!
They think in Germany that the night air is poisonous.”
“They don’t use it instead
of gas. How about the man? Hurry up!”
He looked at his watch, but Marjorie chose to ignore
him.
“We’ve got eleven hours,”
she said, with tragic contentment; “I’m
coming to the man. The girls used to sit about
indoors and embroider oh, everlastingly!
Hideous things. I was, oh, so restless! You
know how you are at that age.”
“I was playing football,”
said Leonard; “so ought the man to have been,
instead of casting sheep’s eyes at you.”
“He had nice eyes,” said
Marjorie, pensively, “and lived next door, and,”
she added, as Leonard puffed stolidly at his pipe,
“he was terribly good-looking.”
“He was?” said Leonard, raising his eyebrows.
“So tall for his age, and his
head always looked as if he were racing against the
wind. He was always rumpling his hair as if in
a sort of frenzy of energy, and he was awkward and
graceful at the same time, like a big puppy who is
going to be awfully strong. He was like a big,
very young dog. So energetic, it was almost as
if he were hungry.”
“He’s hungry along with
the rest of ’em now, I hope,” murmured
Leonard.
“His name was Carl von Ehnheim.
He lived in a very grand house next door,” continued
Marjorie, “and he used to come over and make
formal calls on the pension Mueller. He never
looked at me, and whenever I spoke he looked down
or out of the window, and that’s how I knew he
liked me.”
“Most abominable case of puppy love,”
said Leonard.
“Oh, it was so puppy!”
cried Marjorie; “but of course it made the winter
pass less drearily.”
“How so ’of course’?”
“Because he would always happen
to come down his steps when I came down mine.
Or when I was in the garden walking on the frozen walk
with huge German overshoes on, he would draw aside
the curtain of his house and stand there pretending
not to see me until I bowed, and then he would smile
and pretend he had just noticed me. And then,
when Christmas came, all the girls went home, and
Frau Mueller and I were asked over to his house to
spend the day. Did you ever spend a Christmas
in Germany, Len, dear?”
“No, but I hope to some day.”
“It’s so nice, it’s
like Christmas in a book. He used to come into
the garden after that, and we’d play together.
And we read German lesson-books in the summer-house.
And then, sometimes, for no reason at all, we would
run around the summer-house until we were all out of
breath, and had messed up all the paths. One day
he had to go away. It was time for him to go
into the army to be made an officer, and I didn’t
see him for so long, and I forgot all about him, nearly.
I would have if I hadn’t been so lonely.”
“Humph!” said Leonard; and Marjorie squeezed
his fingers.
“Aren’t you just a little bit jealous?”
she pleaded.
“Jealous of a Hun?” answered
Leonard, knocking the ashes from his pipe. “No.”
But he squeezed her hand somewhat viciously in return.
“Not a bit. Stop wriggling! Not a
bit. When did you see him again?”
“Not for a long time. One
day I came home and on the hall table was a gold sword
and a gold helmet with an eagle crest. Maybe I
heard his voice in the parlor, maybe I didn’t.
Anyway, I put the helmet on my head and took the sword
out of the scabbard. Oh, wasn’t it shiny!
I was admiring myself in the mirror when he came out. Stop
whistling, Leonard, or I won’t go on.
“He was dressed all in blue
and gold, and he wore a gray cape lined with red,
and oh, he looked like a picture in a fairy book, I
can tell you, and he just stood there and stared at
me. And he said, in a very low voice, ‘I
didn’t dare to kiss you under the mistletoe.’
And I wanted to say something, but couldn’t
think of anything because he wouldn’t take his
eyes away; and then Frau Mueller came out and said
‘Good-bye’ to him with great formality.
And afterward she said it was very unziemlich
to talk to a young officer alone in the hall, and,
oh, I don’t know a whole lot of things
I didn’t listen to.”
“And of course that only fanned
your ardor and you continued to meet?” prompted
Leonard.
He lighted a pipe and stuck it in
the corner of his mouth, and never took his smiling
eyes off Marjorie’s thin little face, all animated
in the dusk.
“Of course we met, but only
on the avenue, when we girls were walking in a long
line, dressed alike, two by two, guarded by dragons
of teachers. But I’d lie awake every night
and think of all kinds of things his look,
and the way his sword clanked against his boots.
And twice I saw him at the opera, looking at me from
one of the boxes filled with officers. You can’t
think how big I felt having him notice me and
you can’t think how beautiful I thought he was.
Little thrills ran up and down my spine every time
I looked at him. Is that the way you felt when
you looked at your silly actresses?”
“Maybe,” said Leonard,
grinning with the corner of his mouth unoccupied by
the pipe, and staring out into the shadowy darkness.
“Was that all?”
They were drawing near to London.
“Mostly,” answered Marjorie,
fingering the buttons on Leonard’s sleeve.
“Last time I saw him it was in the garden on
the same bench in the sun. He came over the fence,
and he told me that his regiment had been ordered
to Berlin the next day.”
“You knew more German then?” asked Leonard.
“Yes, I suppose so; but I didn’t
need to understand. It was all in the sun, and
the air was all warm from the cut clovers, and his
eyes were, oh, so blue! And I don’t
know. He took off his helmet and put it on my
head, and he took his sword out of the scabbard and
he put it in my hand, and he said, oh, all kinds of
things in German that I couldn’t understand
very well.”
“He was probably asking you how much your dowry
was.”
“Maybe, but his eyes didn’t
ask me that. And that was all. I never saw
him again, and I don’t ever expect to.”
“Should rather think not.”
“Would you mind?”
“Certainly,” said Leonard.
“They’re horrible tyrants,
English husbands,” said Marjie, kissing his
arm.
“Not so bad as German ones,” he replied,
putting his head down to hers.
The casements rattled. Into the
little dark square of the compartment window peered
a confusion of lights, the myriad eyes of a great city.
“Why, it’s London!”
cried Marjorie. “I’d lost all track
of time. Hadn’t you, Leonard?”
“No,” he answered laconically,
slamming down the lid of the tea-basket.
But Marjorie squeezed up against him
and gave a little laugh. “Supposing it
could be the same man, Leonard,” she said.
“What man?” asked Leonard, snapping the
lock.
“Why, the man of the Helmet the
Dying Gaul and my man I’ve been telling
you about.”
Leonard looked at her, and for some
reason his eyes flinched. “What difference
would that make? He was German,” was all
he said.
It was a sultry evening. Flowers
were being sold in profusion on street corners.
Hurdy-gurdies played war tunes in the gutter.
The streets were filled with soldiers in khaki and
florid civilians in their summer clothes. Suddenly
she remembered a passage in the Bible that always
seemed beautiful to her, but now it seemed to have
been specially written for her:
“Where thou goest, I will go,
And where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people
shall be my people, And thy God, my God.”
She walked as close to Leonard as
she dared: “Thy people shall be my people,
And thy God, my God.”
The passers-by smiled at her and turned
and stared after. “Awfully hard on a girl,”
they thought, touched by the rapt look on the young
face.
“Oh, Len,” she whispered,
pulling at his arm, “I love all these people;
I love England.”
He smiled indulgently.
“They’re all right,”
he assented; “I don’t mind strangers, but
I hate the thought of all the relatives we’ve
got to face when we get back. There’ll
be Aunt Hortense and Uncle Charles. Mater’ll
have all the uncles and the cousins and the aunts
in to bid me a tender farewell. Think of spending
my last evening with you answering questions about
how deep the mud is in the trenches, and what we get
to eat, and what the names of all the officers in
my mess are.”
“And then they’ll spend
the rest of our precious time connecting them up to
people of the same name in England,” said Marjorie.
“Exactly,” agreed Leonard.
“Aren’t grown-up relations beastly?”
“Horrible,” said Marjorie,
“but they’ve been awfully decent about
letting me have you all of these four days.”
To put off the evil moment of arrival
they stopped at every shop-window and stared in, their
faces pressed close to the glass.
All the way home, with eyes that neither
saw nor cared where they were going, they talked to
each other of their childhood. The most trivial
incidents became magnified and significant when exchanged.
“That’s just the way I
used to feel, that’s just the way I used to
feel,” they kept repeating, over and over again.
The sweet, misty memories of their happy, happy lives,
came gliding back into consciousness. The thoughts
and yearnings, the smells, the sights and sounds,
all the serenity of the immaculate, long childhood
days. Walking side by side in the reverent dimness,
intensely conscious of each other, they had that mysterious
sensation of having done this before, of living a
second time. The world was transfigured; they
were aware of measureless rapture brooding close about
them in the twilight of which they were a part a
rapture, a sense of enchantment, that people are only
conscious of as children or when they are in love or
in dreams.
Finally, deliciously weary, and full
of the languor of the summer night, they retraced
their steps and took the two-penny tube.
They arrived home late. The family were at dinner.
“We’ve missed two courses,”
said Leonard gleefully; “the aunts must be raging.”
“Shall I dress up?” said Marjorie.
“Good God!” answered Leonard,
“I go to-morrow at five. Don’t wear
anything that will make them think we’re going
to sit round and converse with Aunt Hortense all the
evening. I’m going up to say good-bye to
the boy.”
Marjorie found him there, stretched
out on Herbert’s little cot, completely covering
the little mound under the pink coverlet.
“Don’t you come near,
Marjorie; I’ve got Leonard all to myself,”
cried Herbert, who, like all the others, was jealous
of Marjorie, but did not scruple to show it.
“Ha-ha! Who’s jealous
now?” said Leonard, putting his head down on
Herbert’s. Marjorie lay down on the quilt
at the foot of the bed. Her restless eyes watched
a light from the driveway scurry across the bed and
zig-zag over the faces of the two brothers. Like
a sudden flame struck from a match it lit a metal
object on the shelf over the bed. Ah, it looked
grim and incongruous in that peaceful English nursery!
Once it had been one among a golden sea of helmets,
sweeping across a great plain like a river. The
sun smote upon gleaming bayonets, passing with the
eternal regularity of waves. Last autumn the world
had shaken under the tread of the feet marching toward
Paris.
The light clung to the glittering
object, and then scudded away. Marjorie’s
eyes kept closing. Suddenly, and oh, so vividly,
there came the memory of another garden; the cold,
brooding stillness of the winter air, and the sun
sifting through the diamond windows of the summer-house,
and shining on the dancing letters of the lesson-book
and on his yellow hair. Then she heard Leonard’s
laughter and was back again in the present. How
could he laugh like that! It was because he was
so young. They were all so young!
“Good night, old man,”
said Leonard, pulling himself up from Herbert’s
bed; “don’t forget me.”
Three times Herbert called him back,
and when Leonard returned and stood beside him, the
little boy wriggled apologetically.
“Play with me,” he said, plaintively.
“Play with you! I’ll
stand you on your head instead,” said Leonard,
and put his arm around Marjorie.
But Herbert continued to call to the emptiness.
Leonard and Marjorie paused on the
landing, and he reached up and spread his hand over
the face of the clock.
“Stop moving!” he said.
“You’re just about three years old to-night,”
said Marjorie.
“I know I know,”
he said. Suddenly, with an impulse and gesture
of childlike and terrible longing, he put both his
arms about Marjorie. His face wore an expression
that she could never forget. Looking up at him
with wide, tearless eyes, she felt in that one uncontrolled
moment that she knew him better than she ever would
again. She felt wonderfully old, immeasurably
older than Leonard, older than the whole world.
With a love almost impersonal in its unconscious motherliness,
she yearned with the mighty power of her woman’s
body and soul to protect this immature and inarticulate
being who was faring forth to the peninsula of the
“Dead English” to make his silent sacrifice.
The great house seemed to be listening, hushed, to
the sober ticking of the clock on the landing.
Suddenly, with a preliminary shudder, its melodious
voice rang out nine times. The two stole downstairs
to the dining-room.
“Nine o’clock. We’ve
missed three courses,” whispered Leonard to
Marjorie.
All through dinner he sulked.
He could not forgive his Aunt Hortense for her very
considerable bulk, which was situated between him and
Marjorie. He squeezed his mother’s hand
under the table, till her rings cut into her flesh,
and she had to smile; but toward all the flattering
advances of his aunt, and her effort to ascertain
his opinion on every aspect of the war, he remained
dumb with the maddening, imperturbability of a sulky
boy, who refuses to be “pumped.”
After dinner he was claimed by his
father and remained in the smoking-room, detained
by a certain wistfulness in his father’s manner.
“We’ve missed you these
four days, old boy,” his father said. “But
I hardly expect you missed us. Can’t we
have a talk now?”
“Yes, sir; of course,”
Leonard answered. He felt suddenly contrite.
He noticed for the first time in his life that his
father looked old and little, almost wizened, and
there was something deferential in his manner toward
his big son that smote Leonard. It was as if he
were saying, apologetically, “You’re the
bone and sinew of this country now. I admire
you inordinately, my son. See, I defer to you;
but do not treat me too much like a back number.”
It was apparent even in the way he handed Leonard
the cigars.
Desperately conscious of the hands
on the clock’s face, which kept moving forward,
Leonard sat and conversed on the recent drive in France,
the Dardanelles campaign, home politics, held simply
by the pathos of his father’s new manner.
At every pause in the conversation he listened for
Marjorie’s voice in the drawing-room.
And Marjorie, in the drawing-room,
was wondering desperately if he knew how the time
was flying as he sat there quietly smoking and holding
forth endlessly about transports and supplies and appropriations,
and all the things which meant nothing to her.
More wily than Leonard, she had escaped from Aunt
Hortense, who, in true English fashion, had not appeared
to be aware of her presence until well on toward the
middle of the evening, after the men had left; then
she turned to Marjorie suddenly, raising her lorgnette.
“Leonard’s letters must
have been very interesting to your friends in America.”
“Oh, yes,” stammered Marjorie;
“but he never said very much about the war.”
She blushed.
“Ah,” said the older woman;
“I observed he was very silent on the subject.
It’s a code or custom among his set in the army,
you may be sure of that. So many young officers’
letters have been published,” she continued,
turning to Mrs. Leeds. “Lady Alice Fryzel
was telling me the other day that she was putting
all her son’s letters into book form.”
Marjorie had an inward vision of Leonard’s
letters published in book form! She knew them
by heart, written from the trenches in pencil on lined
paper “servant paper,” Leonard
called it. They came in open envelopes unstamped,
except with the grim password “war zone.”
Long, tired letters; short, tired letters, corrected
by the censor’s red ink, and full of only “our
own business,” as Leonard said. Sometimes
at the end there would be a postscript hastily inserted:
“I was in my first real battle to-day.
Can’t say I enjoyed it.” Or, “Ronald
Lambert, who was my chum at Eton, never turned up
to-night. I feel pretty sick about it.”
She remembered the postscript of his first letter from
the front; not a word about the thunder of the distant
cannonading or the long line of returning ambulances
that greeted the incoming soldier. It gave the
first realistic smack of the filthy business of war.
“I’ve had my head shaved,” Leonard
wrote. “P.P.S. Caught One.”
Marjorie wondered how that would look to Aunt Hortense,
published in book form.
“Aren’t the men a long
while?” said Mrs. Leeds, for the fifth time;
and Marjorie could endure it no longer. She could
not bear to sit there and look at Mrs. Leeds’s
face. The fierce resignation of the mother’s
eyes seemed dumbly to accuse Marjorie, whose whole
youth and passionate being protested: “I
won’t let her have Leonard this evening I
won’t I can’t it’s
his last! Why don’t old people, like Aunt
Hortense, fight wars, if they’re so crazy about
it?”
She crept unnoticed to the dark alcove,
and slipped through the curtains of the French window.
But the older woman’s shrewd glance followed
her; and all the while she was listening with apparent
composure and concern to Hortense, she was saying
to herself, with bitter impatience,
“Fool! Why did she have
to come this evening!” And then, “O Leonard,
is it possible that little young thing can love you
as I do!” And, “O Leonard O
Leonard!”
Marjorie, in the garden, skirted the
shrubs and stole between the flower-beds to the library
window. Vividly she could see Leonard, stretched
out in a chair, his cigarette in one hand, gesticulating,
talking.
“He’s happy; he’s
forgotten all about me,” she thought; and swept
by an absurd emotion of self-pity, she kissed her
own arms in the darkness to comfort herself, till
her eyes, which never left his face, saw him turn
warily and desperately to the clock.
“Leonard,” she whispered, pressing close
to the glass.
Suddenly he saw her revealed in the
pale halo of light cast by the window into the darkness.
He looked at her for moments without moving.
Then she saw him get up and say good night to his father,
putting his hand awkwardly and self-consciously on
his sleeve. Minutes passed, and she knew he had
gone to say good night to his mother, and then she
saw the light of his cigarette coming toward her across
the lawn. She waited without moving for him to
touch her. So many times she would feel him coming
toward her in the moonlight, the outline of his dear
form lost in the dusk, and when he put out his hand
it would be only empty shadows.
“Marjorie, where are you?”
“Here, Len.”
Some one came to the front door and called out,
“Are you there, Leonard and
Marjorie? Lock the door when you come in, Leonard.”
From the darkness they saw his mother’s
form silhouetted against the light inside. She
started as if to come toward them, and then suddenly
shut the door and left them alone together in the white
night.