Meanwhile Evan’s association
with Simeon Deaves was not without its humorous side.
By the exercise of patience and diplomacy he gradually
learned how to manage the old man like a child, though
like a child there were times when he was perfectly
unmanageable. Evan in a way became quite attached
to him simply because he was a responsibility.
Avarice was a kind of disease that
afflicted him. Apart from that he was a harmless,
even a likable old fellow. He suffered from acute
attacks, so to speak: these were his unmanageable
times. He became sly and furtive, and sought
for pretexts to sneak out of the house without Evan,
or to give him the slip in the street. Evan had
to watch sharp to keep him out of trouble. He
had little doubt but that they were generally followed,
but by more experienced trackers than the youth in
grey for he could never be sure of it.
Simeon Deaves had a thousand foibles,
some of which Evan found sadly trying. For instance
it was his delight to walk up and down the aisles
of department stores asking to be shown goods, and
haggling over the price without the slightest intention
of purchasing anything. The audible remarks
of the salesgirls made Evan’s cheeks burn.
When he remonstrated with the old
man, the latter would not rest thereafter until he
had given Evan the slip. Under cover of the crowds
he would slip out of a side door, or dart into an elevator
just as the door was closing. After a search
Evan would find him perhaps entering a second-hand
shop to trade the decent clothes that Maud made him
wear for something out of stock with a little cash
to boot. At other times Evan would track him
by the crowd that gathered to hear his argument with
a shoe-string peddler or a push-cart man. A favourite
trick of his to evade Evan was to suddenly dart behind
a moving trolley car. More than once this almost
ended his career on the spot. At other times
he was quite tractable and seemed almost fond of Evan.
Bargaining was his ruling passion.
Consequently they haunted such places as the sidewalk
market in Grand street, and the fish market under
the Queensboro Bridge. Notwithstanding his avarice
the old man not seldom bought things for which he
had no possible use, simply because he thought they
were cheap. He would bring home a doubtful fish
in a bit of newspaper or a bag of pickled apples which
promptly found their way into the Deaves’ garbage
cans.
His pet aversion was beggars.
Woe to the beggar who tackled Simeon Deaves unwittingly.
He would receive a lecture on Thrift on the spot.
This likewise furnished amusement to the street crowds.
Evan’s grand object, of course,
was to keep the old man from doing anything which
would give the blackmailers a further hold on him.
One of his narrowest escapes took place under the
very roof of the Deaves house. The old man was
considered safe in his own little junk room in the
basement, and was allowed to potter there unwatched.
One rainy morning while he was supposedly so engaged
Evan was enjoying a respite with a book in the little
office adjoining the library, when through the open
door into the hall he saw one of the maids whisper
to another, then both tittered and scampered down
stairs. Evan always on the alert for mischief,
quietly followed.
He found most of the servants of that
disorderly establishment gathered in a basement passage
with heads bent, listening to sounds that issued through
the door of Simeon Deaves’ room. Among
them was Hilton the butler, an oily, obese rascal
whom Evan thoroughly distrusted. All vanished
the other way down the passage at Evan’s approach.
Evan knocked peremptorily, and the
door being opened, he saw that the multi-millionaire
was closeted with a typical specimen of old clo’
man, bearded, dirty and cringing. It was their
dispute over sundry articles in Simeon Deaves’
weird collection that had drawn the giggling servants.
It appeared that the old man was the seller.
Evan bounced the old clo’ man in spite of his
protests.
“I come by appoindmend, mister. I come
by appoindmend!”
“All right” said Evan. “Call
it a disappoindmend, and get!”
The old man was indignant too.
“A very honest man,” he protested.
“He was willing to pay me twenty-five cents
for my alarm clock. I could have got him up
to thirty. It isn’t worth more than fifteen!”
“You can be sure then that he
was taking a chance of picking up something for nothing,”
said Evan. “When will you learn sense!
All the servants listening and giggling in the passage.
Nice story the alarm clock would make in the papers!”
But it was impossible to make the
old man realize his own absurdity. “Well,
you needn’t bite my head off,” he said
pettishly. “Come on, let’s go out.
A little rain won’t hurt us.”
From which it will be seen that their
relative positions had undergone a considerable change
since the beginning. Evan had become the mentor
and guide.
In the past the demands for money
had come pretty regularly about once a fortnight,
Evan learned. As the end of the two weeks drew
near a certain apprehension was evident in the house.
George Deaves was wretchedly anxious, Evan somewhat
less so, while the old man went his ways undisturbed.
And then the letter came. One
morning on his arrival Evan was directed to the library
where he found George Deaves in a state of prostration.
He waved a letter at Evan in a kind of weak indignation.
Evan took it and read:
“Dear Mr. Deaves:
Another story has been written to
add to the blithe biography of your parent.
It is the most humorous chapter so far. We do
not enclose it, as we desire to stimulate your curiosity.
You can read it in the Clarion to-morrow evening unless
you wish to reserve that pleasure exclusively to yourself.
In that case you may send a picture to the rummage
sale of the Red Cross at Fifth avenue.
Mrs. Follett Drayton is in charge. Send any
framed picture and between the picture and the backing
insert five of Uncle Sam’s promissory notes of
the usual denomination. Put your name on the
picture for purposes of identification.
Yours as ever,
THE IKUNAHKATSI.”
“This is the return I get for
the money I have paid you!” said George Deaves
reproachfully.
“It’s a bluff!” said Evan.
“Can you assure me of that?”
“I can’t swear to it of
course. Mr. Deaves gives me the slip once in
a while. And there was one day I was not with
him. But he says he didn’t go out that
day. I’m sure it’s a bluff.
If they had a new story on him they’d send
it fast enough.”
“Maybe they’re going to print the last
one.”
“Maybe. But in that case
why not say so? They have shown a queer sense
of honour heretofore in suggesting that when you paid
for a story that was done with. Have you got
the envelope this came in?”
George Deaves handed it over.
It was of medium size and made of cheap “Irish
linen” paper. The post-mark was Hamilton
Grange. A small peculiarity that Evan marked
was that though it had been sent from a New York post-office
the words “New York City” were written
in full.
“What do you think about this
Mrs. Drayton?” asked Deaves.
“A woman above suspicion.
They’re using her as they used Hassell.
Easy enough to plant somebody in the Red Cross shop
to watch the packages received. Someone to buy
the picture you send.”
“You advise me to ignore this then?”
“No, if it was me I’d
call their bluff. Have a better moral effect.
Get an old picture from somewhere and stick a piece
of paper in the back. The fellow who wrote this
letter fancies himself as a humorist. Answer
him in kind. Write on the paper: ‘Show
me first your wares.’”
“What does that mean?” asked George Deaves
innocently.
“A quotation from Simple Simon,” answered
Evan grinning.
The other man hung in a painful state
of indecision, biting his nails. At last he said
breathlessly with a tremendous effort of resolution:
“Very well, I’ll do it.”
But the gang proved to have another
shot in its locker. Next morning Evan was sent
for again to the library where he found a family conclave
in session. The gorgeous Maud in purple velvet
and pearls ("How does she get the money out of them?”
thought Evan) was detonating like a thunderstorm in
the hills. George Deaves sat crushed at his desk,
and the old man sputtered and snarled when he could
get a word in. Maud (it was impossible for Evan
to think of her by a more respectful name) promptly
turned to discharge her lightnings at Evan’s
head.
“What are you good for?”
she demanded. “Aren’t you paid a
good salary to keep my husband’s father from
disgracing us all? Why don’t you do it
then? Why don’t you do it?”
Evan bit his lip to keep from smiling
in her face. To an outsider these family rows
smacked of burlesque. One could always depend
on the actors to play their regular parts.
“If you would please explain,” said Evan
mildly.
“Read that!” She thrust a letter at him.
Evan read:
“Mrs. George Deaves:
Dear Madam:
Your husband has declined to purchase
the latest anecdote of Mr. Simeon Deaves, and has
bidden us to let the general public enjoy the laugh.
This we will very gladly do, but knowing you to be
a lady of sensitive nature, it seemed too bad not
to give you a chance to act in the matter first.
The story will be published in the Clarion
this evening unless we hear from you or from Mr. Deaves.
In case you wish to stop it please see our letter
of yesterday for instructions how to reach us and
what to send.
In the meantime pray accept, dear
Madam, the assurances of our distinguished consideration,
and believe us,
Yours most respectfully,
THE IKUNAHKATSI.”
“Why wasn’t it sent?” she cried.
“Mr. Deaves decided that they were bluffing
this time,” said Evan.
“You advised me!” said Deaves.
“Certainly” said Evan.
“That’s all I can do. The decision
rests with you.”
“Why wasn’t I consulted?” cried
Maud.
And so the storm raged up and down.
Evan devoutly wished himself some place else.
“Knowing your father’s
propensity for disgracing us I don’t believe
it’s a bluff!” cried Maud.
“Disgracing you!” retorted
the old man. “Whose money paid for those
gew-gaws?”
“Must I stand here to be insulted
in the presence of my husband!”
“Papa, be quiet!”
“Disgracing you? Where
would you all be, but for this disgraceful old man
I’d like to know!”
But neither of the men was any match
for Maud. Within a quarter of an hour she had
driven the old man from the room and reduced her husband
to a palpitating jelly.
In the end the latter said hopelessly:
“Very well, I’ll send the money.”
Maud swept triumphantly out of the
room. Evan looked after her with a new eye.
During the last few minutes an extraordinary suspicion
had come into his mind, an incredible suspicion, but
it would not down.
The wretched George Deaves played
with the objects on his desk. “All very
well to say I’ll send it,” he muttered.
“But where am I going to get it? Useless
to ask Papa.”
Evan was silent. There was nothing for him to
say.
George Deaves looked at him aggrievedly.
“You think I’m wrong to send it.”
“I should think it would be
hard enough to send it when they had something on
you, let alone when they were only bluffing.”
“It is hard,” whimpered
the other. “I think it’s a bluff
myself. But suppose it isn’t and the story
is printed. What would I say to Maud? How
could I face her?”
“It’s for you to decide,” said Evan.
George Deaves rapped on his desk,
bit his fingers, looked out of the window, got up
and sat down again. Finally he said tremulously:
“Very well, I’ll take a chance.”
With what anxiety they awaited the
appearance of the Clarion may be guessed.
Simeon Deaves and Evan started out immediately after
lunch to get a copy. The old man wanted to go
direct to the publishing office to get it damp from
the press, but Evan persuaded him it would never do
to betray so much anxiety in the matter. The
Clarion office might be watched. Indeed
it was not unlikely the gang had an agent there.
They found that none of the newsstands
in the vicinity of the plaza carried the Clarion:
“a socialistic rag” it was called in that
neighbourhood. They had to walk all the way to
Third avenue to find a dealer who would confess to
handling it. It would be up at four he said,
so that they had an hour to kill, which old Simeon
spent very happily in the fish-market.
For the last fifteen minutes they
hung around outside the newsstand while the proprietor
watched them suspiciously from inside his window.
When the newswagon drove up Simeon Deaves snatched
a Clarion from the top of the pile. The
newsdealer held out his hand for the two cents, but
it was ignored.
Evan got a copy for himself.
Skimming over the headlines he failed to find the
name of Deaves and breathed more freely. A more
careful search column by column revealed not so much
as a stick of type devoted to Simeon Deaves.
Evan and his employer looked at each other and grinned.
The newsdealer demanded his two cents.
“Shan’t need the paper now,” said
Simeon, calmly putting it down.
Evan averted an explosion by hastily paying for both
copies.
On the way home the old man was in
such an extraordinary good humour that he actually
bought Evan a five-cent cigar. Evan keeps it
to this day as a curiosity.
At home they found an ashy and shaken
George Deaves waiting for them in the library.
“It’s all right!” said Evan.
A look of beatific relief overspread
the other’s face. He immediately began
to swell. “That is most gratifying! most
gratifying!” he said pompously. “I
am really under obligations to you, Weir. We
both are, aren’t we, Papa?”
“Sure, Evan’s a good boy.
I always said so. I bought him a cigar.”
“Tcha! A cigar!
I should really like to do something for you, Weir.”
“You can raise my salary if you want,”
said Evan slyly.
A comical transformation took place
in both faces. “What! Raise your
salary! Again! Impossible!” both
cried.
Evan laughed. “Well, you
proposed doing something for me.”
Someone else in that house had bought
a copy of the Clarion. Mrs. George Deaves
entered in what was for her a high good humour with
a copy of the sheet under her arm.
“Well, I see you sent the money,” she
said.
George Deaves looked self-conscious.
He greatly desired to lie, but lacked the effrontery
to do so before the other men. His father saved
him the trouble of doing so. Eager to get back
at Maud he said:
“No, he didn’t!”
Mrs. Deaves’ face fell.
The black eyes began to snap. Another storm
portended. “You promised me ”
she began.
“But you see we were right,”
interrupted her husband. “It was a bluff.
There’s nothing in the paper.”
“You don’t know it’s
a bluff!” she cried. “Perhaps they
were too late for the paper. It will be in to-morrow.
You have got to send the money at once as you promised!”
But George Deaves’ momentary
relief had put a little backbone into him. “I
still think it a bluff!” he said doggedly.
“I’m willing to take a chance.”
The storm broke. “Oh,
you’re willing, are you? How about me?
How about me? Here you sit all day. What
do you know about how people talk? I have to
go about. I have to see people smile when they
think I’m not looking and whisper behind their
hands. Do you think I don’t know what
they’re saying? Oh, I know! ’That’s
Mrs. George Deaves, my dear. Wife of the son
of the notorious miser. You’ve heard how
he squabbles in the street with newsboys and fruit
vendors over pennies!’ Well, I’ve had
enough of it! Enough, I say! I won’t
stand it!”
In the full course of her tirade she
happened to look at Evan. Evan’s suspicion
had become almost a certainty. His eyes were
bent steadily upon her. He was not smiling,
but there was an ironical lift to the corners of his
mouth.
She pulled herself up. “Well,
if there’s anything published to-morrow you
know what to expect,” she said, and swept out
of the room.
Evan glanced at father and son.
Nothing showed in their faces but simple relief at
her going. Evan marvelled at their blindness.
He had yet to learn that habitually suspicious people
never see what goes on under their noses.
Evan had plenty of food for thought.
An extraordinary situation was suggested; one in
which it behooved him to move with exceeding caution.
For the moment his best plan appeared to be to continue
to keep the old man out of trouble, while he watched
and waited and found proof of what he was already
morally sure.