In one of his letters to his
great-aunt, Alexandra Andreyevna Tolstoy, my father
gives the following description of his children:
The eldest [Sergei] is fair-haired
and good-looking; there is something weak and patient
in his expression, and very gentle. His laugh
is not infectious; but when he cries, I can hardly
refrain from crying, too. Every one says he is
like my eldest brother.
I am afraid to believe it. It
is too good to be true. My brother’s chief
characteristic was neither egotism nor self-renunciation,
but a strict mean between the two. He never sacrificed
himself for any one else; but not only always avoided
injuring others, but also interfering with them.
He kept his happiness and his sufferings entirely to
himself.
Ilya, the third, has never been ill
in his life; broad-boned, white and pink, radiant,
bad at lessons. Is always thinking about what
he is told not to think about. Invents his own
games. Hot-tempered and violent, wants to fight
at once; but is also tender-hearted and very sensitive.
Sensuous; fond of eating and lying still doing nothing.
Tanya [Tatyana] is eight years old.
Every one says that she is like Sonya, and I believe
them, although I am pleased about that, too; I believe
it only because it is obvious. If she had been
Adam’s eldest daughter and he had had no other
children afterward, she would have passed a wretched
childhood. The greatest pleasure that she has
is to look after children.
The fourth is Lyoff. Handsome,
dexterous, good memory, graceful. Any clothes
fit him as if they had been made for him. Everything
that others do, he does very skilfully and well.
Does not understand much yet.
The fifth, Masha [Mary] is two years
old, the one whose birth nearly cost Sonya her life.
A weak and sickly child. Body white as milk, curly
white hair; big, queer blue eyes, queer by reason of
their deep, serious expression. Very intelligent
and ugly. She will be one of the riddles; she
will suffer, she will seek and find nothing, will always
be seeking what is least attainable.
The sixth, Peter, is a giant, a huge,
delightful baby in a mob-cap, turns out his elbows,
strives eagerly after something. My wife falls
into an ecstasy of agitation and emotion when she holds
him in her arms; but I am completely at a loss to
understand. I know that he has a great store
of physical energy, but whether there is any purpose
for which the store is wanted I do not know.
That is why I do not care for children under two or
three; I don’t understand.
This letter was written in 1872, when
I was six years old. My recollections date from
about that time. I can remember a few things
before.
FAMILY LIFE IN THE COUNTRY
From my earliest childhood until
the family moved into Moscow that was in
1881 all my life was spent, almost without
a break, at Yasnaya Polyana.
This is how we live. The chief
personage in the house is my mother. She settles
everything. She interviews Nikolai, the cook,
and orders dinner; she sends us out for walks, makes
our shirts, is always nursing some baby at the breast;
all day long she is bustling about the house with
hurried steps. One can be naughty with her, though
she is sometimes angry and punishes us.
She knows more about everything than
anybody else. She knows that one must wash every
day, that one must eat soup at dinner, that one must
talk French, learn not to crawl about on all fours,
not to put one’s elbows on the table; and if
she says that one is not to go out walking because
it is just going to rain, she is sure to be right,
and one must do as she says.
Papa is the cleverest man in the world.
He always knows everything. There is no being
naughty with him. When he is up in his study
“working,” one is not allowed to make a
noise, and nobody may go into his room. What
he does when he is at “work,” none of us
know. Later on, when I had learned to read, I
was told that papa was a “writer.”
This was how I learned. I was
very pleased with some lines of poetry one day, and
asked my mother who wrote them. She told me they
were written by Pushkin, and Pushkin was a great writer.
I was vexed at my father not being one, too.
Then my mother said that my father was also a well-known
writer, and I was very glad indeed.
At the dinner-table papa sits opposite
mama and has his own round silver spoon. When
old Natalia Petrovna, who lives on the floor below
with great-aunt Tatyana Alexandrovna, pours herself
out a glass of kvass, he picks it up and drinks it
right off, then says, “Oh, I’m so sorry,
Natalia Petrovna; I made a mistake!” We all laugh
delightedly, and it seems odd that papa is not in
the least afraid of Natalia Petrovna. When there
is jelly for pudding, papa says it is good for gluing
paper boxes; we run off to get some paper, and papa
makes it into boxes. Mama is angry, but he is
not afraid of her either. We have the gayest times
imaginable with him now and then. He can ride
a horse better and run faster than anybody else, and
there is no one in the world so strong as he is.
He hardly ever punishes us, but when
he looks me in the eyes he knows everything that I
think, and I am frightened. You can tell stories
to mama, but not to papa, because he will see through
you at once. So nobody ever tries.
Besides papa and mama, there was also
Aunt Tatyana Alexandrovna Yergolsky. In her room
she had a big eikon with a silver mount. We were
very much afraid of this eikon, because it was very
old and black.
When I was six, I remember my father
teaching the village children. They had their
lessons in “the other house,” where
Alexey Stepanytch, the bailiff, lived, and sometimes
on the ground floor of the house we lived in.
There were a great number of village
children who used to come. When they came, the
front hall smelled of sheepskin jackets; they were
taught by papa and Seryozha and Tanya and Uncle Kostya
all at once. Lesson-time was very gay and lively.
The children did exactly as they pleased,
sat where they liked, ran about from place to place,
and answered questions not one by one, but all together,
interrupting one another, and helping one another to
recall what they had read. If one left out a bit,
up jumped another and then another, and the story
or sum was reconstructed by the united efforts of
the whole class.
What pleased my father most about
his pupils was the picturesqueness and originality
of their language. He never wanted a literal repetition
of bookish expressions, and particularly encouraged
every one to speak “out of his own head.”
I remember how once he stopped a boy who was running
into the next room.
“Where are you off to?” he asked.
“To uncle, to bite off a piece of chalk.”
“Cut along, cut along!
It’s not for us to teach them, but for them to
teach.”
THE SERVANTS IN THE HOUSE
When my father married and brought
home his young and inexperienced bride, Sofya Andreyevna,
to Yasnaya Polyana, Nikolai Mikhailovitch Rumyantsef
was already established as cook. Before my father’s
marriage he had a salary of five rubles a month; but
when my mother arrived, she raised him to six, at
which rate he continued the rest of his days; that
is, till somewhere about the end of the eighties.
He was succeeded in the kitchen by his son, Semyon
Nikolayevitch, my mother’s godson, and this
worthy and beloved man, companion of my childish games,
still lives with us to this day. Under my mother’s
supervision he prepared my father’s vegetarian
diet with affectionate zeal, and without him my father
would very likely never have lived to the ripe old
age he did.
Agafya Mikhailovna was an old woman
who lived at first in the kitchen of “the other
house” and afterward on the home farm. Tall
and thin, with big, thoroughbred eyes, and long, straight
hair, like a witch, turning gray, she was rather terrifying,
but more than anything else she was queer.
Once upon a time long ago she had
been housemaid to my great-grandmother, Countess Pelageya
Nikolayevna Tolstoy, my father’s grandmother,
nee Princess Gortchakova. She was fond of telling
about her young days. She would say:
I was very handsome. When there
were gentlefolks visiting at the big house, the countess
would call me, ’Gâchette [Agafya], femme
de chambre, apportez-moi un mouchoir!’
Then I would say, ’Toute suite, Madame
la Comtesse!’ And every one would
be staring at me, and couldn’t take their eyes
off. When I crossed over to the annex, there they
were watching to catch me on the way. Many a
time have I tricked them ran round the
other way and jumped over the ditch. I never liked
that sort of thing any time. A maid I was, a
maid I am.
After my grandmother’s death,
Agafya Mikhailovna was sent on to the home farm for
some reason or other, and minded the sheep. She
got so fond of sheep that all her days after she never
would touch mutton.
After the sheep, she had an affection
for dogs, and that is the only period of her life
that I remember her in.
There was nothing in the world she
cared about but dogs. She lived with them in
horrible dirt and smells, and gave up her whole mind
and soul to them. We always had setters, harriers,
and borzois, and the whole kennel, often very numerous,
was under Agafya Mikhailovna’s management, with
some boy or other to help her, usually one as clumsy
and stupid as could be found.
There are many interesting recollections
bound up with the memory of this intelligent and original
woman. Most of them are associated in my mind
with my father’s stories about her. He could
always catch and unravel any interesting psychological
trait, and these traits, which he would mention incidentally,
stuck firmly in my mind. He used to tell, for
instance, how Agafya Mikhailovna complained to him
of sleeplessness.
“Ever since I can remember her,
she has suffered from ’a birch-tree growing
inside me from my belly up; it presses against my chest,
and prevents my breathing.’
“She complains of her sleeplessness
and the birch-tree and says: ’There I lay
all alone and all quiet, only the clock ticking on
the wall: “Who are you? What are you?
Who are you? What are you?” And I began
to think: “Who am I? What am I?”
and so I spent the whole night thinking about it.’
“Why, imagine this is Socrates!
‘Know thyself,’” said my father,
telling the story with great enthusiasm.
In the summer-time my mother’s
brother, Styopa (Stephen Behrs), who was studying
at the time in the school of jurisprudence, used to
come and stay with us. In the autumn he used
to go wolf-hunting with my father and us, with the
borzois, and Agafya Mikhailovna loved him for that.
Styopa’s examination was in
the spring. Agafya Mikhailovna knew about it
and anxiously waited for the news of whether he had
got through.
Once she put up a candle before the
eikon and prayed that Styopa might pass. But
at that moment she remembered that her borzois had
got out and had not come back to the kennels again.
“Saints in heaven! they’ll
get into some place and worry the cattle and do a
mischief!” she cried. “’Lord, let
my candle burn for the dogs to come back quick, and
I’ll buy another for Stepan Andreyevitch.’
No sooner had I said this to myself than I heard the
dogs in the porch rattling their collars. Thank
God! they were back. That’s what prayer
can do.”
Another favorite of Agafya Mikhailovna
was a young man, Misha Stakhovitch, who often stayed
with us.
“See what you have been and
done to me, little Countess!” she said reproachfully
to my sister Tanya: “you’ve introduced
me to Mikhail Alexandrovitch, and I’ve fallen
in love with him in my old age, like a wicked woman!”
On the fifth of February, her name-day,
Agafya Mikhailovna received a telegram of congratulation
from Stakhovitch.
When my father heard of it, he said
jokingly to Agafya Mikhailovna:
“Aren’t you ashamed that
a man had to trudge two miles through the frost at
night all for the sake of your telegram?”
“Trudge, trudge? Angels
bore him on their wings. Trudge, indeed!
You get three telegrams from an outlandish Jew woman,”
she growled, “and telegrams every day about
your Golokhvotika. Never a trudge then; but I
get name-day greetings, and it’s trudge!”
And one could not but acknowledge
that she was right. This telegram, the only one
in the whole year that was addressed to the kennels,
by the pleasure it gave Agafya Mikhailovna was far
more important of course than this news or the about
a ball given in Moscow in honor of a Jewish banker’s
daughter, or about Olga Andreyevna Golokvastovy’s
arrival at Yasnaya.
Agafya Mikhailovna died at the beginning
of the nineties. There were no more hounds or
sporting dogs at Yasnaya then, but till the end of
her days she gave shelter to a motley collection of
mongrels, and tended and fed them.
THE HOME OF THE TOLSTOYS
I can remember the house at Yasnaya
Polyana in the condition it was in the first years
after my father’s marriage.
It was one of the two-storied wings
of the old mansion-house of the Princes Volkonsky,
which my father had sold for pulling down when he was
still a bachelor.
From what my father has told me, I
know that the house in which he was born and spent
his youth was a three-storied building with thirty-six
rooms. On the spot where it stood, between the
two wings, the remains of the old stone foundation
are still visible in the form of trenches filled with
rubble, and the site is covered with big sixty-year-old
trees that my father himself planted.
When any one asked my father where
he was born, he used to point to a tall larch which
grew on the site of the old foundations.
“Up there where the top of that
larch waves,” he used to say; “that’s
where my mother’s room was, where I was born
on a leather sofa.”
My father seldom spoke of his mother,
but when he did, it was delightful to hear him, because
the mention of her awoke an unusual strain of gentleness
and tenderness in him. There was such a ring of
respectful affection, so much reverence for her memory,
in his words, that we all looked on her as a sort
of saint.
My father remembered his father well,
because he was already nine years old when he died.
He loved him, too, and always spoke of him reverently;
but one always felt that his mother’s memory,
although he had never known her, was dearer to him,
and his love for her far greater than for his father.
Even to this day I do not exactly
know the story of the sale of the old house.
My father never liked talking about it, and for that
reason I could never make up my mind to ask him the
details of the transaction. I only know that
the house was sold for five thousand paper rubles
by one of his relatives, who had charge of his affairs
by power of attorney when he was in the Caucasus.
It was said to have been done in order
to pay off my father’s gambling debts.
That was quite true.
My father himself told me that at
one time he was a great card-player, that he lost
large sums of money, and that his financial affairs
were considerably embarrassed.
The only thing about which I am in
doubt is whether it was with my father’s knowledge
or by his directions that the house was sold, or whether
the relative in question did not exceed his instructions
and decide on the sale of his own initiative.
My father cherished his parents’
memory to such an extent, and had such a warm affection
for everything relating to his own childhood, that
it is hard to believe that he would have raised his
hand against the house in which he had been born and
brought up and in which his mother had spent her whole
life.
Knowing my father as I do, I think
it is highly possible that he wrote to his relative
from the Caucasus, “Sell something,” not
in the least expecting that he would sell the house,
and that he afterward took the blame for it on himself.
Is that not the reason why he was always so unwilling
to talk about it?
In 1871, when I was five years old,
the zala and study were built on the house.
The walls of the zala were hung with
old portraits of ancestors. They were rather
alarming, and I was afraid of them at first; but we
got used to them after a time, and I grew fond of
one of them, of my great-grandfather, Ilya Andreyevitch
Tolstoy, because I was told that I was like him.
Beside him hung the portrait of another
great-grandfather, Prince Nikolai Sergeyevitch Volkonsky,
my grandmother’s father, with thick, black eyebrows,
a gray wig, and a red kaftan.
This Volkonsky built all the buildings
of Yasnaya Polyana. He was a model squire, intelligent
and proud, and enjoyed the great respect of all the
neighborhood.
On the ground floor, under the drawing-room,
next to the entrance-hall, my father built his study.
He had a semi-circular niche made in the wall, and
stood a marble bust of his favorite dead brother Nikolai
in it. This bust was made abroad from a death-mask,
and my father told us that it was very like, because
it was done by a good sculptor, according to his own
directions.
He had a kind and rather plaintive
face. The hair was brushed smooth like a child’s,
with the parting on one side. He had no beard
or mustache, and his head was white and very, very
clean. My father’s study was divided in
two by a partition of big bookshelves, containing
a multitude of all sorts of books. In order to
support them, the shelves were connected by big wooden
beams, and between them was a thin birch-wood door,
behind which stood my father’s writing-table
and his old-fashioned semicircular arm-chair.
There are portraits of Dickens and
Schopenhauer and Fet as a young man on the walls,
too, and the well-known group of writers of the Sovremennik
circle in 1856, with Turgenieff, Ostrovsky, Gontcharof,
Grigorovitch, Druzhinin, and my father, quite young
still, without a beard, and in uniform.
My father used to come out of his
bedroom of a morning it was in a corner
on the top floor in his dressing-gown, with
his beard uncombed and tumbled together, and go down
to dress.
Soon after he would issue from his
study fresh and vigorous, in a gray smock-frock, and
would go up into the zala for breakfast. That
was our dejeuner.
When there was nobody staying in the
house, he would not stop long in the drawing-room,
but would take his tumbler of tea and carry it off
to his study with him.
But if there were friends and guests
with us, he would get into conversation, become interested,
and could not tear himself away.
At last he would go off to his work,
and we would disperse, in winter to the different
school-rooms, in summer to the croquet-lawn or somewhere
about the garden. My mother would settle down
in the drawing-room to make some garment for the babies,
or to copy out something she had not finished overnight;
and till three or four in the afternoon silence would
reign in the house.
Then my father would come out of his
study and go off for his afternoon’s exercise.
Sometimes he would take a dog and a gun, sometimes
ride, and sometimes merely go for a walk to the imperial
wood.
At five the big bell that hung on
the broken bough of an old elm-tree in front of the
house would ring and we would all run to wash our hands
and collect for dinner.
He was very hungry, and ate voraciously
of whatever turned up. My mother would try to
stop him, would tell him not to waste all his appetite
on kasha, because there were chops and vegetables
to follow. “You’ll have a bad liver
again,” she would say; but he would pay no attention
to her, and would ask for more and more, until his
hunger was completely satisfied. Then he would
tell us all about his walk, where he put up a covey
of black game, what new paths he discovered in the
imperial wood beyond Kudeyarof Well, or, if he rode,
how the young horse he was breaking in began to understand
the reins and the pressure of the leg. All this
he would relate in the most vivid and entertaining
way, so that the time passed gaily and animatedly.
After dinner he would go back to his
room to read, and at eight we had tea, and the best
hours of the day began the evening hours,
when everybody gathered in the zala. The grown-ups
talked or read aloud or played the piano, and we either
listened to them or had some jolly game of our own,
and in anxious fear awaited the moment when the English
grandfather-clock on the landing would give a click
and a buzz, and slowly and clearly ring out ten.
Perhaps mama would not notice?
She was in the sitting-room, making a copy.
“Come, children, bedtime!
Say good night,” she would call.
“In a minute, Mama; just five minutes.”
“Run along; it’s high
time; or there will be no getting you up in the morning
to do your lessons.”
We would say a lingering good night,
on the lookout for any chance for delay, and at last
would go down-stairs through the arches, annoyed at
the thought that we were children still and had to
go to bed while the grown-ups could stay up as long
as ever they liked.
A JOURNEY TO THE STEPPES
When I was still a child and
had not yet read “War and Peace,” I was
told that Natasha ROSTOF was Aunt Tanya.
When my father was asked whether that was true, and
whether Dmitry ROSTOF was such and such a person
and Levin such and such another, he never gave
a definite answer, and one could not but feel that
he disliked such questions and was rather offended
by them.
In those remote days about which I
am talking, my father was very keen about the management
of his estate, and devoted a lot of energy to it.
I can remember his planting the huge apple orchard
at Yasnaya and several hundred acres of birch and
pine forest, and at the beginning of the seventies,
for a number of years, he was interested in buying
up land cheap in the province of Samara, and breeding
droves of steppe horses and flocks of sheep.
I still have pretty clear, though
rather fragmentary and inconsequent, recollections
of our three summer excursions to the steppes of Samara.
My father had already been there before
his marriage in 1862, and afterward by the advice
of Dr. Zakharyin, who attended him. He took the
kumiss-cure in 1871 and 1872, and at last, in 1873,
the whole family went there.
At that time my father had bought
several hundred acres of cheap Bashkir lands in the
district of Buzuluk, and we went to stay on our new
property at a khutor, or farm.
In Samara we lived on the farm in
a tumble-down wooden house, and beside us, in the
steppe, were erected two felt kibitkas, or Tatar frame
tents, in which our Bashkir, Muhammed Shah Romanytch,
lived with his wives.
Morning and evening they used to tie
the mares up outside the kibitkas, where they were
milked by veiled women, who then hid themselves from
the sight of the men behind a brilliant chintz curtain,
and made the kumiss.
The kumiss was bitter and very nasty,
but my father and my uncle Stephen Behrs were
very fond of it, and drank it in large quantities.
When we boys began to get big, we
had at first a German tutor for two or three years,
Fyodor Fyodorovitch Kaufmann.
I cannot say that we were particularly
fond of him. He was rather rough, and even we
children were struck by his German stupidity.
His redeeming feature was that he was a devoted sportsman.
Every morning he used to jerk the blankets off us
and shout, “Auf, Kinder! auf!”
and during the daytime plagued us with German calligraphy.
OUTDOOR SPORTS
The chief passion of my childhood
was riding. I well remember the time when my
father used to put me in the saddle in front of him
and we would ride out to bathe in the Voronka.
I have several interesting recollections connected
with these rides.
One day as we were going to bathe,
papa turned round and said to me:
“Do you know, Ilyusha, I am
very pleased with myself to-day. I have been
bothered with her for three whole days, and could not
manage to make her go into the house; try as I would,
it was impossible. It never would come right.
But to-day I remembered that there is a mirror in every
hall, and that every lady wears a bonnet.
“As soon as I remembered that,
she went where I wanted her to, and did everything
she had to. You would think a bonnet is a small
affair, but everything depended on that bonnet.”
As I recall this conversation, I feel
sure that my father was talking about that scene in
“Anna Karenina” where Anna went to
see her son.
Although in the final form of the
novel nothing is said in this scene either about a
bonnet or a mirror, nothing is mentioned
but a thick black veil, still, I imagine
that in its original form, when he was working on
the passage, my father may have brought Anna up to
the mirror, and made her straighten her bonnet or
take it off.
I can remember the interest with which
he told me this, and it now seems strange that he
should have talked about such subtle artistic experiences
to a boy of seven who was hardly capable of understanding
him at the time. However, that was often the case
with him.
I once heard from him a very interesting
description of what a writer needs for his work:
“You cannot imagine how important
one’s mood is,” he said. “Sometimes
you get up in the morning, fresh and vigorous, with
your head clear, and you begin to write. Everything
is sensible and consistent. You read it over
next day, and have to throw the whole thing away, because,
good as it is, it misses the main thing. There
is no imagination in it, no subtlety, none of the
necessary something, none of that only just without
which all your cleverness is worth nothing. Another
day you get up after a bad night, with your nerves
all on edge, and you think, ‘To-day I shall
write well, at any rate.’ And as a matter
of fact, what you write is beautiful, picturesque,
with any amount of imagination. You look it through
again; it is no good, because it is written stupidly.
There is plenty of color, but not enough intelligence.
“One’s writing is good
only when the intelligence and the imagination are
in equilibrium. As soon as one of them overbalances
the other, it’s all up; you may as well throw
it away and begin afresh.”
As a matter of fact, there was no
end to the rewriting in my father’s works.
His industry in this particular was truly marvelous.
We were always devoted to sport from
our earliest childhood. I can remember as well
as I remember myself my father’s favorite dog
in those days, an Irish setter called Dora. They
would bring round the cart, with a very quiet horse
between the shafts, and we would drive out to the
marsh, to Degatna or to Malakhov. My father and
sometimes my mother or a coachman sat on the seat,
while I and Dora lay on the floor.
When we got to the marsh, my father
used to get out, stand his gun on the ground, and,
holding it with his left hand, load it.
Dora meanwhile fidgeted about, whining
impatiently and wagging her thick tail.
While my father splashed through the
marsh, we drove round the bank somewhat behind him,
and eagerly followed the ranging of the dog, the getting
up of the snipe, and the shooting. My father sometimes
shot fairly well, though he often lost his head, and
missed frantically.
But our favorite sport was coursing
with greyhounds. What a pleasure it was when
the footman Sergei Petrovitch came in and woke us up
before dawn, with a candle in his hand!
We jumped up full of energy and happiness,
trembling all over in the morning cold; threw on our
clothes as quickly as we could, and ran out into the
zala, where the samovar was boiling and papa was waiting
for us.
Sometimes mama came in in her dressing-gown,
and made us put on all sorts of extra woolen stockings,
and sweaters and gloves.
“What are you going to wear,
Lyovotchka?” she would say to papa. “It’s
very cold to-day, and there is a wind. Only the
Kuzminsky overcoat again today? You must put
on something underneath, if only for my sake.”
Papa would make a face, but give in
at last, and buckle on his short gray overcoat under
the other and sally forth. It would then be growing
light. Our horses were brought round, we got on,
and rode first to “the other house,” or
to the kennels to get the dogs.
Agafya Mikhailovna would be anxiously
waiting us on the steps. Despite the coldness
of the morning, she would be bareheaded and lightly
clad, with her black jacket open, showing her withered,
old bosom. She carried the dog-collars in her
lean, knotted hands.
“Have you gone and fed them
again?” asks my father, severely, looking at
the dogs’ bulging stomachs.
“Fed them? Not a bit; only just a crust
of bread apiece.”
“Then what are they licking their chops for?”
“There was a bit of yesterday’s oatmeal
left over.”
“I thought as much! All
the hares will get away again. It really is too
bad! Do you do it to spite me?”
“You can’t have the dogs
running all day on empty stomachs, Lyoff Nikolaievich,”
she grunted, going angrily to put on the dogs’
collars.
At last the dogs were got together,
some of them on leashes, others running free; and
we would ride out at a brisk trot past Bitter Wells
and the grove into the open country.
My father would give the word of command,
“Line out!” and point out the direction
in which we were to go, and we spread out over the
stubble fields and meadows, whistling and winding
about along the lee side of the steep balks, beating
all the bushes with our hunting-crops, and gazing
keenly at every spot or mark on the earth.
Something white would appear ahead.
We stared hard at it, gathered up the reins, examined
the leash, scarcely believing the good luck of having
come on a hare at last. Then riding up closer
and closer, with our eyes on the white thing, it would
turn out to be not a hare at all, but a horse’s
skull. How annoying!
We would look at papa and Seryozha,
thinking, “I wonder if they saw that I took
that skull for a hare.” But papa would be
sitting keen and alert on his English saddle, with
the wooden stirrups, smoking a cigarette, while Seryozha
would perhaps have got his leash entangled and could
not get it straight.
“Thank heaven!” we would
exclaim, “nobody saw me! What a fool I should
have felt!” So we would ride on.
The horse’s even pace would
begin to rock us to sleep, feeling rather bored at
nothing getting up; when all of a sudden, just at the
moment we least expected it, right in front of us,
twenty paces away, would jump up a gray hare as if
from the bowels of the earth.
The dogs had seen it before we had,
and had started forward already in full pursuit.
We began to bawl, “Tally-ho! tally-ho!”
like madmen, flogging our horses with all our might,
and flying after them.
The dogs would come up with the hare,
turn it, then turn it again, the young and fiery Sultan
and Darling running over it, catching up again, and
running over again; and at last the old and experienced
Winger, who had been galloping on one side all the
time, would seize her opportunity, and spring in.
The hare would give a helpless cry like a baby, and
the dogs, burying their fangs in it, in a star-shaped
group, would begin to tug in different directions.
“Let go! Let go!”
We would come galloping up, finish
off the hare, and give the dogs the tracks, tearing
them off toe by toe, and throwing them to our favorites,
who would catch them in the air. Then papa would
teach us how to strap the hare on the back of the
saddle.
After the run we would all be in better
spirits, and get to better places near Yasenki and
Retinka. Gray hares would get up oftener.
Each of us would have his spoils in the saddle-straps
now, and we would begin to hope for a fox.
Not many foxes would turn up.
If they did, it was generally Tumashka, who was old
and staid, who distinguished himself. He was sick
of hares, and made no great effort to run after them;
but with a fox he would gallop at full speed, and
it was almost always he who killed.
It would be late, often dark, when we got back home.
"ANNA KARENINA"
I remember my father writing
his alphabet and reading-book in 1871 and 1872, but
I cannot at all remember his beginning “Anna
Karenina.” I probably knew nothing about
it at the time. What did it matter to a boy of
seven what his father was writing? It was only
later, when one kept hearing the name again and again,
and bundles of proofs kept arriving, and were sent
off almost every day, that I understood that “Anna
Karenina” was the name of the novel on which
my father and mother were both at work.
My mother’s work seemed much
harder than my father’s, because we actually
saw her at it, and she worked much longer hours than
he did. She used to sit in the sitting-room off
the zala, at her little writing-table, and spend all
her free time writing.
Leaning over the manuscript and trying
to decipher my father’s scrawl with her short-sighted
eyes, she used to spend whole evenings over it, and
often sat up late at night after everybody else had
gone to bed. Sometimes, when anything was written
quite illegibly, she would go to my father’s
study and ask him what it meant. But this was
very rare, because my mother did not like to disturb
him.
When it happened, my father used to
take the manuscript in his hand, and ask with some
annoyance, “What on earth is the difficulty?”
and would begin to read it out aloud. When he
came to the difficult place he would mumble and hesitate,
and sometimes had the greatest difficulty in making
out, or, rather, in guessing, what he had written.
He had a very bad handwriting, and a terrible habit
of writing in whole sentences between the lines, or
in the corners of the page, or sometimes right across
it.
My mother often discovered gross grammatical
errors, and pointed them out to my father, and corrected
them.
When “Anna Karenina” began
to come out in the “Russky Vyestnik,”
long galley-proofs were posted to my father, and he
looked them through and corrected them.
At first the margins would be marked
with the ordinary typographical signs, letters omitted,
marks of punctuation, etc.; then individual words
would be changed, and then whole sentences, till in
the end the proof-sheet would be reduced to a mass
of patches quite black in places, and it was quite
impossible to send it back as it stood, because no
one but my mother could make head or tail of the tangle
of conventional signs, transpositions, and erasures.
My mother would sit up all night copying
the whole thing out afresh.
In the morning there would lie the
pages on her table, neatly piled together, covered
all over with her fine, clear handwriting, and everything
ready so that when “Lyovotchka” got up
he could send the proof-sheets off by post.
My father carried them off to his
study to have “just one last look,” and
by the evening it would be just as bad again, the whole
thing having been rewritten and messed up.
“Sonya my dear, I am very sorry,
but I’ve spoiled all your work again; I promise
I won’t do it any more,” he would say,
showing her the passages he had inked over with a
guilty air. “We’ll send them off to-morrow
without fail.” But this to-morrow was often
put off day by day for weeks or months together.
“There’s just one bit
I want to look through again,” my father would
say; but he would get carried away and recast the whole
thing afresh.
There were even occasions when, after
posting the proofs, he would remember some particular
words next day, and correct them by telegraph.
Several times, in consequence of these rewritings,
the printing of the novel in the “Russky Vyestnik”
was interrupted, and sometimes it did not come out
for months together.
In the last part of “Anna Karenina”
my father, in describing the end of VRONSKY’S
career, showed his disapproval of the volunteer movement
and the Panslavonic committees, and this led to a
quarrel with Katkof.
I can remember how angry my father
was when Katkof refused to print those chapters as
they stood, and asked him either to leave out part
of them or to soften them down, and finally returned
the manuscript, and printed a short note in his paper
to say that after the death of the heroine the novel
was strictly speaking at an end; but that the author
had added an epilogue of two printed sheets, in which
he related such and such facts, and he would very
likely “develop these chapters for the separate
edition of his novel.”
In concluding, I wish to say a few
words about my father’s own opinion of “Anna
Karenina.”
In 1875 he wrote to N. N. Strakhof:
“I must confess that I was delighted
by the success of the last piece of ‘Anna Karenina.’
I had by no means expected it, and to tell you the
truth, I am surprised that people are so pleased with
such ordinary and empty stuff.”
The same year he wrote to Fet:
“It is two months since I have
defiled my hands with ink or my heart with thoughts.
But now I am setting to work again on my tedious,
vulgar ‘Anna Karenina,’
with only one wish, to clear it out of the way as
soon as possible and give myself leisure for other
occupations, but not schoolmastering, which I am fond
of, but wish to give up; it takes up too much time.”
In 1878, when the novel was nearing
its end, he wrote again to Strakhof:
“I am frightened by the feeling
that I am getting into my summer mood again.
I loathe what I have written. The proof-sheets
for the April number [of “Anna Karenina”
in the “Russky Vyestnik”] now lie on my
table, and I am afraid that I have not the heart to
correct them. Everything in them is beastly,
and the whole thing ought to be rewritten, all
that has been printed, too, scrapped and
melted down, thrown away, renounced. I ought
to say, ’I am sorry; I will not do it any more,’
and try to write something fresh instead of all this
incoherent, neither-fish-nor-flesh-nor-fowlish stuff.”
That was how my father felt toward
his novel while he was writing it. Afterward
I often heard him say much harsher things about it.
“What difficulty is there in
writing about how an officer fell in love with a married
woman?” he used to say. “There’s
no difficulty in it, and above all no good in it.”
I am quite convinced that if my father
could have done so, he long ago would have destroyed
this novel, which he never liked and always wanted
to disown.
(To be continued)