“PATERNO,” THE DISGRACED MASCOT
Ostracism in Monkey Society.
There is a certain analogy between
the Chinaman’s pigtail and the prehensile appendage
of that very astute little animal, the monkey, for
the proud possessors of either of these grotesque physical
adornments lose social caste the moment they are bereft
of them. That there are reasons to believe that
the tail of the monkey is his credentials to the polite
society of his race the following incident will serve
to substantiate:
One day in May, 1899, when one of
our infantry regiments which had been ascending the
Rio Grande, in the Island of Luzon, in pursuit of the
wily and festive Filipino, had halted to rest, it was
decided to have an exhibition of company mascots.
Each company had a monkey an even dozen
of them all told. There were “Pat”
and “Mike,” who proudly wore strips of
billiard-table cloth about their necks; and “Aguinaldo”
and “Paterno,” named respectively for
the leader and brains of the Tagalo insurrection.
“Aguinaldo” wore with dignity a little
tin sword by his side that one of the men of his company
had made from a salmon can, while “Paterno”
looked gay and world-wise in a ballet skirt ingeniously
contrived by a company tailor from a bit of red mosquito-bar.
The others all had names, most of them for some distinguished
military commander to whom they were supposed to bear
some facial resemblance.
The show was a decided success.
Every contestant put aside his work-a-day tricks,
and performed those only that were intended for gala
days. “Aguinaldo” was a sure winner
from the first, for he had learned to draw his sword,
wave it dramatically over his head, cheer for a few
seconds in monkey talk, then break and dash to the
rear. “Paterno” was an easy candidate
for second honors. He gave a giddy dance and
looked coy.
But “pride goeth before a fall.”
It was decided to let the mascots have a social gathering.
They were brought into a ring formed by grinning soldiers.
All went well for a moment or two. They grinned,
caressed, and made merry. Just in the very heights
of the ecstacies, a playful young monk, that had been
exchanging “sheep’s eyes” with “Paterno,”
in a fit of playfulness made a grab for the latter’s
tail, but lo! there was none. The news spread
like the incoming of “amigos” after the
capture of a Filipino town. A damper fell upon
the meeting. All scorned the maimed fellow with
that frosty bearing that a reigning belle bestows
upon a promising debutante, or the monkey family
toward their tailless fellow-monks.
The disgraced animal begged and entreated
for further notice, and a renewal of the general good
time that had been so unceremoniously ended by the
recent discovery, but his solicitations were in vain none
condescended to again notice him.
With “Paterno,” patience
at last ceased to be a virtue. Knowing that the
playful young monk who had made the discovery caused
his downfall, he looked for a moment at that guileless-appearing
creature. The expression of his face rapidly
changed from a look of entreaty to that of ferociousness.
With a vicious bound, he pounced upon his enemy, clawing,
tearing, and biting. The other members of this
solemn gathering simply separated the belligerents,
none daring to do harm to the socially ostracised
fellow.
Finally, giving up the struggle, “Paterno”
withdrew from the crowd. In the melee
he had lost his skirt. He looked long and pitifully
at his fellow-mascots who had so suddenly turned against
him. Great teardrops gathered in his eyes and
trickled down his hairy cheeks. Raising his head,
he spied a bamboo thicket in the distance. With
a wild yell, he sprang through the line of sympathetic
soldiers and made for the jungle.
Company E had had their last sight
of “Paterno,” their tailless monkey mascot.