Ester was sitting upon the back porch,
hulling strawberries and watching with absent amusement
the tireless efforts of Jane to induce a very fat
and entirely brainless pup to shake hands. It
had been a busy day, for owing to the absence of the
free and independent “Saturday Help” Esther
had insisted upon helping Aunt Amy in the kitchen.
Now the Saturday pies and cakes were accomplished
and only the strawberries lay between Esther and freedom.
She had intended, a little later,
to walk out along the river road in search of marguerites,
but when Mary, more than usually restless after her
fainting spell of yesterday, had offered to go instead,
she had not demurred. It would be quite as pleasant
to take a book and sit out under the big elm.
Esther was at that stage when everything seems to be
for the best in this “best of all possible worlds.”
She was living through those suspended moments when
life stands tiptoe, breathless with expectancy, yet
calm with an assurance of joy to come.
With the knowledge that Henry Callandar
was not quite as other men, had come an intense, delicious
shyness; the aloofness of the maiden who feels love
near yet cannot, through her very nature, take one
step to meet it.
There was no hurry. She was surrounded
with a roseate haze, lapped in deep content; for,
while the doctor had learned nothing from their last
meeting under the elm, Esther had learned everything.
She had not seemed to look at him as they parted,
yet she had known, oh, she had known very well, how
he had looked at her! All she wanted, now, was
to be alone with that look; to hold it there in her
memory, not to analyse or question, but to glance
at it shyly now and again, feeding with quick glimpses
the new strange joy at the heart.
“D’ye think He ever forgets
to put brains into dogs?” asked Jane suddenly.
“Oh, you silly thing, don’t roll over like
that! Stop wriggling and give me your paw!”
“He, who?” vaguely.
Jane made a disgusted gesture.
“You’re not listening, Esther! You
know there is only one Person who puts brains into
dogs!”
“But Pickles is such a puppy, Jane. Give
him time.”
“It’s not age,”
gloomily. “It’s stupidness. All
puppies are stupid, but Pickles is the most abnormously
stupid puppy I ever saw.”
Esther laughed. “Where did you get the
word, ducky?”
“From the doctor. It was
something he said about Aunt Amy. Say, Esther,
isn’t he going to take you driving any more?
I saw him going past this very afternoon. He
turned down towards the river road. There was
lots of room. Next time he takes you, may Pickles
and me go too?”
“Pickles and I, Jane.”
“Well, may we?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps. When
did the doctor go past?”
“Nearly two hours ago.
I wonder if there’s some one kick down there?
Bubble says they’re getting a tremenjous practice.
I don’t like Bubble any more. He thinks
he’s smart. I don’t like Ann, either.
I shan’t ask her to my birthday party.”
“I thought you loved Ann.”
“Well, I don’t. She thinks she’s
smart!”
“Ann, too? Smartness must be epidemic.”
“It’s all on account of
the doctor,” gloomily. “They can’t
get over having him boarding at their place.
I told Ann that my own father was a doctor, but she
said dead ones didn’t count. Then I told
her that my mother didn’t have to keep boarders
anyway.”
“That was a naughty, snobbish thing to say.
I’m ashamed of you!”
“What’s ’snobbish’?”
“What you said was snobbish. Think it over
and find out.”
Jane was silent, apparently thinking
it over. The fat pup, tired with unwonted mental
exertions, curled up and went to sleep. Esther
returned to her dreams. Then, into the warm hush
of the late afternoon came the quick panting of a
motor car.
“There he is!” cried Jane
excitedly. “Let’s both run down to
the gate to see him.”
“Jane!” Esther’s
cheeks were the colour of her ripest berry. “Jane,
come here! I forbid you Jane!”
“He’s stopping anyway.
He’ll be coming in. You had better take
off that apron. Oh, look! Some one’s
with him. Why,” with some disappointment,
“it’s mother! He is letting her out.
I don’t believe he is coming in at all let
go! Esther, you pig, let me go!”
She wriggled out of her sister’s
firm hold but not before the motor had started again;
when she reached the gate it was out of sight.
Mrs. Coombe surveyed her daughter
coldly. “You are a very ill-mannered child,”
she said, and putting her aside walked slowly up the
path and around the house to where Esther sat on the
back porch.
“Where are the daisies?”
asked Esther, looking up from her berries.
“The daisies?” vaguely.
“Good gracious! I forgot all about the daisies.”
“Didn’t you get any?”
“Heaps, but the fact is I didn’t
bring them home. I felt so tired. I don’t
know how I should have managed to get home myself if
Dr. Callandar hadn’t picked me up.”
“Dr. Callandar?” Esther’s voice
was mildly questioning.
“Yes, why not?”
“I thought you had not met him.”
“Neither I had at
least I hadn’t met him for a good many years.”
Mary gave a little excited laugh. “But
that’s the funny part of it he is
an old friend.”
Esther looked up with her characteristic
widening of the eyes. The news was genuinely
surprising. And how agitated her mother seemed!
“It is really quite a remarkable
coincidence,” went on Mary nervously. “I
was so surprised, startled indeed. Although it’s
pleasant, of course, to meet an old schoolmate.”
“You and Doctor Callandar schoolmates?”
The eyes were very wide now.
Mary grew more and more confused.
“Yes that is, not
exactly. I mean his name wasn’t Callandar
then. His name was Chedridge. Did you never
hear me speak of Harry Chedridge?”
“Never.”
“Well, you never listen to half
I say. And how was I to know that Doctor Callandar
was the Harry Chedridge I used to know? He took
the name of Callandar from an uncle or
something. Anyway it isn’t his own.”
Esther hulled a particularly fine
berry and carefully putting the hull in the pan, threw
the berry away.
“Curiouser and curiouser!”
she said, quoting the immortal Alice. “Did
you recognise him at once?”
If it be possible for a lady of this
enlightened age to simper, Mrs. Coombe simpered.
“He recognised me at once!” with faint
emphasis on the pronouns.
The girl choked down a rising inclination to laugh.
“Why shouldn’t he? I suppose you
haven’t changed very much.”
“Hardly at all, he says; at
least he says he would have known me anywhere.
But it’s quite a long time, you know, terribly
long. I was a young girl then. Naturally,
he was much older.”
“I should have thought so.
That’s why it seems queer your having
been schoolmates.”
Mrs. Coombe looked cross. “I
did not mean schoolmates in that sense.”
“Oh, merely in a Pickwickian
sense!” Esther’s laugh bubbled out.
Mary arose. She was afraid to
risk more at present, until she had been to her room
and rested awhile. “You are rude,
as usual,” she said with dignity. “When
I said that Dr. Callandar and I were schoolmates I
meant simply that we were old friends, that we knew
each other when we were both younger. I do not
see anything at all humorous in the statement.”
“No, of course not!” with
quick compunction. “It’s quite lovely.
Just like a book. Why didn’t he come in?”
The question was so cleverly casual
that no one could have guessed the girl’s consuming
interest in the answer. But its cleverness had
overshot the mark, for so colourless was the tone
in which it was asked that Mary did not notice it
at all. Instead she retreated steadily along her
own line.
“I hope I always treat your
friends with proper courtesy, Esther. And I shall
expect you to do the same with mine. Dr. Callandar
is a very old friend indeed. Should he call to-night
I wish you to receive him as such.”
“I’ll try,” said the girl demurely.
The way of escape was now open, but
Mrs. Coombe hesitated. She seemed to have something
else to say. Something which did not come easily.
“It’s horrid living in a town like Coombe,”
she burst out. “People always want to know
everything. We met the elder Miss Sinclair on
the river road you know what that means!
If people ask you any question or anything you
had better tell them at once that Dr. Callandar is
not a stranger.”
“I should not dream of suppressing the fact.”
“You see,” again that
odd hesitation, “he may call rather
often. And people talk so easily.”
Despite her care, Esther’s sensitive
face flamed in answer to the quickened beat of her
heart. What an odd thing for her mother to say!
What did she mean? Was it possible that he had
already told her asked her? Or had
she merely guessed? There was a moment’s
pause, and then, “Let them talk!” said
the girl softly. “It can’t make any
difference, to them, how often Dr. Callandar calls.”
Mrs. Coombe looked doubtful, hesitated
once more, but finally turned away without speaking.
As she went, she cast a careless glance at Aunt Amy,
who stood just within the kitchen doorway, a curiously
watchful look in her usually expressionless eyes.
“Berries all ready, Auntie,”
said Esther cheerfully. “What’s the
matter with me as a Saturday Help?”
But Aunt Amy did not smile as she usually did.
“She’s gone to get dressed,”
she said abruptly, indicating with a backward gesture
Mrs. Coombe’s retiring figure.
“Well?”
“For him. She’s gone to get dressed
for him.”
Esther was puzzled. “Why
shouldn’t she? Oh, I forget you didn’t
know! It’s quite a romance. Mother
used to know Dr. Callandar when she was a girl.
‘We twa hae rin aboot the braes,’ you know.
Only it seems so funny. Fancy, Dr. Callandar
and mother! But we shan’t have to worry
any more about her health. She can’t possibly
avoid him now.”
Aunt Amy was not listening. The
curiously watchful look was still in her eyes and
suddenly, apropos of nothing, she began to wring her
hands in the strange, dumb way which always preceded
one of her characteristic mental agonies, agonies
which, far beyond her understanding as they were,
never failed to awake profound compassion in Esther.
“What is it, dear?” she
asked gently. “Are you not so well?”
“Don’t you ever feel things,
Esther? Don’t you ever sense things coming?”
“No, dear. And neither
do you, when you are well. You are tired.”
She placed her hands firmly upon the locked hands
of Aunt Amy and with tender force attempted to separate
them. But Jane, who had been a silent but interested
spectator, spoke eagerly.
“Don’t, Esther! Do
let her tell us what is coming. You know she always
tells right when she wrings her hands. Go on,
Auntie ”
“Jane, be quiet! I’ll
tell you why afterwards. Auntie dear, sit down.”
’Aunt Amy’s hands relaxed
and the strange look faded. “It’s
nothing,” she said. “It’s gone!
I must be more careful. Do not mention it to your
mother, children. She might think me queer again,
and I am not at all queer any more. You have
noticed that I’m not, haven’t you, Esther?
I’ll do anything you say, my dear.”
“Then lie out in the hammock
while I get supper. The berries are all ready.
Then we’ll all get dressed. Jane may wear
one of her new frocks and you shall wear your grey
voile. It will be quite a party.”
“Will there be ice cream?
Because if there isn’t I don’t want to
get dressed,” sighed Jane. “My new
things don’t fit. They look like bags.”
“It will soon be holidays and
then I’ll fix them for you.”
Jane laid a childish cheek to her sister’s hand.
“Nice Esther,” she cooed.
“I’m sorry I called you a pig.”
Then, in a change of tone as they left Aunt Amy resting
in the hammock, “Esther, why is Auntie so afraid
of mother lately? She says such queer things I
don’t know what she means.”
“Neither do I, dear. But
I think it is just a passing fancy. She was very
much hurt about the ring being sold. When she
gets it back she will forget about it.”
“She looks at mother as if she hates her.”
“Oh, no!” in a startled tone. “How
can you say such a thing, Jane?”
“But she does. I’ve
seen her. I don’t blame her. I think
it was horrid ”
“That’s enough. You
know nothing about it. Little girls who do not
understand have no right to criticise.”
“Fred says it was the most underhan ”
“Jane, one word more and you
shall have no berries to-night. Duck, don’t
you realise that you are speaking in a very unkind
way of your own mother.”
The child’s eyes filled with
ready tears, but her little mouth was stubborn.
“Auntie’s more my mother, Esther, and so
are you. And it was mean to take the ring and
I don’t care whether I have any berries or not.”
Supper was a very quiet meal that
night. Mrs. Coombe, interrupted in the process
of dressing, came down in an old kimono, but ate almost
nothing, Jane was sullen, Aunt Amy silent and Esther
happily oblivious to everything save her own happy
thoughts.
As soon as she could, she slipped
away to her own room, and, choosing everything with
care, began to dress herself as a maiden dresses for
the eye of her lover. She was to be all in white,
her dainty dress, her petticoats, stockings and shoes.
White made her look younger than ever, absurdly young.
He had never seen her all in white and she knew quite
well how soft it made the shadows of her hair, how
startlingly blue her eyes, how warm and living the
ivory of her lovely neck.
“Oh, I am glad I am pretty!”
she whispered to her mirror. “Glad, glad!”
Then with a laugh at her own childishness she “touched
wood” to propitiate the jealous fates and ran
down stairs to hide herself in the duskiest corner
of the veranda.
It was delightful there. The
cooling air was sweet with the mingled perfumes of
the garden border below, an early star had fallen,
sparkling, upon the blue-grey train of departing day,
a whispering breeze crept, soft-footed, through the
shrubbery. Esther lay back in the long chair
and closed her eyes. For thirty perfect moments
she waited until the click of the garden gate announced
his coming. Then she sprang up, smiling, blushing, peering
through the screen of vines
A man was coming up the path.
At first sight he seemed a stranger, some one who
walked heavily, slowly the doctor’s
step was quick and springing. Yet it was he!
She drew back, shyly, yet looked again. Some
one, in a pretty green silk gown, had slipped out from
under the big elm and was meeting him with outstretched
hands.
“Mother,” thought Esther, “how strange!”
They had paused and were talking together.
Mary’s high, sweet laugh floated over the flowers,
then her voice, a mere murmur. His voice, lower
still. Then silence. They had turned back,
together, down the lilac walk.
Esther sat down again. She felt
numb. She closed her eyes as she had done before.
But all the dreams, all the happy thoughts were gone.
She opened them abruptly to find Aunt Amy staring
down upon her, dumbly, wringing her hands. In
the warm summer air the girl shivered.
“What is it?” she asked
a little sharply. But Aunt Amy seemed neither
to see nor hear her. She flitted by like some
wandering grey moth into the dim garden, still wringing
her hands.
Esther sat up. “How utterly
absurd,” she said aloud. Indeed she felt
heartily ashamed of herself. To behave like a
foolish child, to startle Aunt Amy into a fit and
all because her mother and Dr. Callandar had gone
for a stroll down the lilac walk the most
natural thing in the world. They would return
presently. She had only to wait. But the
waiting was not quite the same. Those golden moments
already sparkled in the past. Nothing could ever
be quite the same as if he had come straight up the
path to where she waited for him in the dusk.
In the living-room, Jane who had small
patience with twilight, had lighted the lamp.
Its shaded beams fell in golden bars across the veranda
floor. The sky was full of stars, now, but the
voice of the breeze was growing shrill, as if whistling
up the rain.
They were coming back along the side
of the house. Esther rose quickly and slipped
into the safety of the commonplace with Jane and the
lighted lamp. Mrs. Coombe entered first, there
was an instant to observe and wonder at her.
She seemed a different woman, young, pretty, sparkling;
even her hair seemed brighter. Behind her came
Callandar and when Esther saw his face her heart seemed
to stop. It was the face, almost, of a man of
middle age, a firm, quiet face with cold eyes.
“Esther!” Mrs. Coombe’s voice held
incipient reproof.
The girl came forward and offered
her hand. The doctor, this new doctor, took it,
let it drop and said, “Good evening, Miss Esther,”
then turned to Jane with a politely worded message
from Ann and Bubble.
“You can tell them I won’t
go,” said Jane crossly. “They think
they are smart. Just because ”
Esther slipped quietly from the room.
In the hall outside she paused, breathless. She
felt as if she had run a long way. Shame enveloped
her, a shame whose cause she could not put into words.
She only knew that she had, in the few seconds of
that cold greeting, been profoundly humiliated.
She quivered with the sting of unwarranted expectancy.
But if this had been all, it would have been well.
There was something else, some deeper pain surging
through the smart of wounded pride, something which
led her with blind steps into a dark corner of the
stairs where she sat very quiet and still.
Through the open front door, she could
see the bars of lamplight on the deserted veranda,
and hear from the open windows of the living-room a
hum of conversation in which Jane seemed to be taking
a leading part. Then came the tinkle of the old
piano and Mary’s voice, singing, or attempting
to sing, for it was soon apparent that her voice sagged
pitifully on the high notes.
Presently Jane came out, banging the
door. Jane’s manners, Esther thought, were
really very bad. She had probably banged the door
because she had been sent to bed and she had probably
been sent to bed because she had been saucy.
Esther wondered what particular form her sauciness
had taken, but when Jane called softly, “Esther!”
she did not answer. She did not want to put Jane
to bed to-night. The child flashed past her up
the stairs and soon could be heard from an upstair
window calling imperatively for Aunt Amy. But
Aunt Amy, flitting through the dim garden wringing
her hands, did not hear. Jane, much injured, went
to bed by herself that night.
In the lamp-lit room there was no
more music. The murmur of voices grew less distinct.
There were intervals of silence. (Only very old friends
can support a silence gracefully but of
course these two were very old friends.) Esther wondered,
idly, how it would be best to explain her absence
to her mother. Toothache, perhaps? Not that
the excuse mattered. Mary never listened to excuses.
She would be cross and fretful anyway and complain
that Esther never treated her friends with proper courtesy.
The best thing she could do would be to go to bed.
But she made no movement to go; the moments ticked
by on the hall clock unnoticed.
After a time, which might have been
long or short, there was a stir in the room and her
mother’s voice called “Esther! Esther!”
The girl stood up, smoothed her white
dress, slipped out on to the veranda and into the
garden. From there she answered the call.
“Yes, Mother?”
“Where are you? You sound
as if you had been asleep. Doctor Callandar is
going.”
Esther came lightly up the steps.
“So soon?”
“It is early,” agreed Mrs. Coombe playfully,
“but I can’t keep him.”
Esther, herself in shadow, could see
the doctor’s face as he stood quietly beside
his hostess. It was full of an endless weariness.
Her pride melted. Impulsively she put out a warm
hand
“Good night, Miss Esther.
How very sweet your garden is at night. But it
feels as if our fine weather were over. The wind
begins to blow like rain.”
Esther’s hand dropped to her
side. Perhaps he had not seen it in the dusk.