It was a long time before Mary Ann
came so prominently into the centre of Lancelot’s
consciousness again. She remained somewhere in
the outer periphery of his thought nowhere
near the bull’s-eye, so to speak as
a vague automaton that worked when he pulled a bell-rope.
Infinitely more important things were troubling him;
the visit of Peter had somehow put a keener edge on
his blunted self-confidence; he had started a grand
opera, and worked at it furiously in all the intervals
left him by his engrossing pursuit after a publisher.
Sometimes he would look up from his hieroglyphics
and see Mary Ann at his side surveying him curiously,
and then he would start, and remember he had rung
her up, and try to remember what for. And Mary
Ann would turn red, as if the fault was hers.
But the publisher was the one thing
that was never out of Lancelot’s mind, though
he drove Lancelot himself nearly out of it. He
was like an arrow stuck in the aforesaid bull’s-eye,
and, the target being conscious, he rankled sorely.
Lancelot discovered that the publisher kept a “musical
adviser,” whose advice appeared to consist of
the famous monosyllable, “Don’t.”
The publisher generally published all the musical
adviser’s own works, his advice having apparently
been neglected when it was most worth taking; at least
so Lancelot thought, when he had skimmed through a
set of Lancers by one of these worthies.
“I shall give up being a musician,”
he said to himself grimly. “I shall become
a musical adviser.”
Once, half by accident, he actually
saw a publisher. “My dear sir,”
said the great man, “what is the use of bringing
quartets and full scores to me? You should have
taken them to Brahmson; he’s the man you want.
You know his address, of course just down
the street.”
Lancelot did not like to say that
it was Brahmson’s clerks that had recommended
him here; so he replied, “But you publish operas,
oratorios, cantatas!”
“Ah yes! h’m things
that have been played at the big Festivals composers
of prestige quite a different thing, sir,
quite a different thing. There’s no sale
for these things none at all, sir public
never heard of you. Now, if you were to write
some songs nice catchy tunes high
class, you know, with pretty words ”
Now Lancelot by this time was aware
of the publisher’s wily ways; he could almost
have constructed an Ollendorffian dialogue, entitled
“Between a Music-Publisher and a Composer.”
So he opened his portfolio again and said, “I
have brought some.”
“Well, send send
them in,” stammered the publisher, almost disconcerted.
“They shall have our best consideration.”
“Oh, but you might just as well
look over them at once,” said Lancelot firmly,
uncoiling them. “It won’t take you
five minutes just let me play one to you.
The tunes are rather more original than the average,
I can promise you; and yet I think they have a lilt
that ”
“I really can’t spare
the time now. If you leave them, we will do our
best.”
“Listen to this bit!”
said Lancelot desperately. And dashing at a
piano that stood handy, he played a couple of bars.
“That’s quite a new modulation.”
“That’s all very well,”
said the publisher; “but how do you suppose I’m
going to sell a thing with an accompaniment like that?
Look here, and here! Why it’s all accidentals.”
“That’s the best part
of the song,” explained Lancelot; “a sort
of undercurrent of emotion that brings out the full
pathos of the words. Note the elegant and novel
harmonies.” He played another bar or two,
singing the words softly.
“Yes; but if you think you’ll
get young ladies to play that, you’ve got a
good deal to learn,” said the publisher gruffly.
“This is the sort of accompaniment that goes
down,” and seating himself at the piano for
a moment (somewhat to Lancelot’s astonishment,
for he had gradually formed a theory that music-publishers
did not really know the staff from a five-barred gate),
he rattled off the melody with his right hand, pounding
away monotonously with his left at a few elementary
chords.
Lancelot looked dismayed.
“That’s the kind of thing
you’ll have to produce, young man,” said
the publisher, feeling that he had at last resumed
his natural supremacy, “if you want to get your
songs published. Elegant harmonies are all very
well, but who’s to play them?”
“And do you mean to say that
a musician in this God-forsaken country must have
no chords but tonics and dominants?” ejaculated
Lancelot hotly.
“The less he has of any other
the better,” said the great man drily.
“I haven’t said a word about the melody
itself, which is quite out of the ordinary compass,
and makes demands upon the singer’s vocalisation
which are not likely to make a demand for the song.
What you have to remember, my dear sir, if you wish
to achieve success, is that music, if it is to sell,
must appeal to the average amateur young person.
The average amateur young person is the main prop
of music in this country.”
Lancelot snatched up his song and
tied the strings of his portfolio very tightly, as
if he were clenching his lips.
“If I stay here any longer I
shall swear,” he said: “Good afternoon.”
He went out with a fire at his heart
that made him insensitive to the frost without.
He walked a mile out of his way mechanically, then,
perceiving his stupidity, avenged it by jumping into
a hansom. He dared not think how low his funds
were running. When he got home he forgot to
have his tea, crouching in dumb misery in his easy-chair,
while the coals in the grate faded like the sunset
from red to grey, and the dusk of twilight deepened
into the gloom of night, relieved only by a gleam
from the street-lamp.
The noise of the door opening made him look up.
“Beg pardon, sir, I didn’t yer ye come
in.”
It was Mary Ann’s timid accents.
Lancelot’s head drooped again on his breast.
He did not answer.
“You’ve bin and let your fire go out,
sir.”
“Don’t bother!”
he grumbled. He felt a morbid satisfaction in
this aggravation of discomfort, almost symbolic as
it was of his sunk fortunes.
“Oh, but it’ll freeze
’ard to-night, sir. Let me make it up.”
Taking his sullen silence for consent, she ran downstairs
and reappeared with some sticks. Soon there
were signs of life, which Mary Ann assiduously encouraged
by blowing at the embers with her mouth. Lancelot
looked on in dull apathy, but as the fire rekindled
and the little flames leapt up and made Mary Ann’s
flushed face the one spot of colour and warmth in
the cold, dark room, Lancelot’s torpidity vanished
suddenly. The sensuous fascination seized him
afresh, and ere he was aware of it he was lifting
the pretty face by the chin.
“I’m so sorry to be so
troublesome, Mary Ann. There, you shall give
me a kiss to show you bear no malice.”
The warm lips obediently met his,
and for a moment Lancelot forgot his worries while
he held her soft cheek against his.
This time the shock of returning recollection
was not so violent as before. He sat up in his
chair, but his right arm still twined negligently
round her neck, the fingers patting the warm face.
“A fellow must have something to divert his
mind,” he thought, “or he’d go mad.
And there’s no harm done the poor
thing takes it as a kindness, I’m sure.
I suppose her life’s dull enough.
We’re a pair.” He felt her shoulders
heaving a little, as if she were gulping down something.
At last she said, “You ain’t troublesome.
I ought to ha’ yerd ye come in.”
He released her suddenly. Her
words broke the spell. The vulgar accent gave
him a shudder.
“Don’t you hear
a bell ringing?” he said, with dual significance.
“Nosir,” said Mary Ann
ingenuously. “I’d yer it in a moment
if there was. I yer it in my dreams, I’m
so used to it. One night I dreamt the missus
was boxin’ my yers and askin’ me if I was
deaf and I said to ’er ”
“Can’t you say ’her’?”
cried Lancelot, cutting her short impatiently.
“Her,” said Mary Ann.
“Then why do you say ’’er’?”
“Missus told me to. She said my own way
was all wrong.”
“Oh, indeed!” said Lancelot.
“It’s missus that has corrupted you, is
it? And pray what used you to say?”
“She,” said Mary Ann.
Lancelot was taken aback. “She!”
he repeated.
“Yessir,” said Mary Ann,
with a dawning suspicion that her own vocabulary was
going to be vindicated; “whenever I said ‘she’
she made me say ‘’er,’ and whenever
I said ‘her’ she made me say ‘she.’
When I said ‘her and me’ she made me
say ‘me and she,’ and when I said ’I
got it from she,’ she made me say ’I got
it from ‘er.’”
“Bravo! A very lucid exposition,”
said Lancelot, laughing. “Did she set
you right in any other particulars?”
“Eessir I mean yessir,”
replied Mary Ann, the forbidden words flying to her
lips like prisoned skylarks suddenly set free.
“I used to say, ‘Gie I thek there broom,
oo’t?’ ‘Arten thee goin’
to?’ ’Her did say to I.’
‘I be goin’ on to bed.’ ‘Look
at ’”
“Enough! Enough!
What a memory you’ve got! Now I understand.
You’re a country girl.”
“Eessir,” said Mary Ann,
her face lighting up. “I mean yessir.”
“Well, that redeems you a little,”
thought Lancelot, with his whimsical look. “So
it’s missus, is it, who’s taught you Cockneyese?
My instinct was not so unsound, after all.
I dare say you’ll turn out something nobler
than a Cockney drudge.” He finished aloud,
“I hope you went a-milking.”
“Eessir, sometimes; and I drove
back the milk-trunk in the cart, and I rode down on
a pony to the second pasture to count the sheep and
the heifers.”
“Then you are a farmer’s daughter?”
“Eessir. But my feyther I
mean my father had only two little fields
when he was alive, but we had a nice garden, with plum
trees, and rose bushes and gillyflowers ”
“Better and better,” murmured
Lancelot, smiling. And, indeed, the image of
Mary Ann skimming the meads on a pony in the sunshine
was more pleasant to contemplate than that of Mary
Ann whitening the wintry steps. “What
a complexion you must have had to start with!”
he cried aloud, surveying the not unenviable remains
of it. “Well, and what else did you do?”
Mary Ann opened her lips. It
was delightful to see how the dull veil, as of London
fog, had been lifted from her face; her eyes sparkled.
Then, “Oh, there’s the
ground-floor bell,” she cried, moving instinctively
towards the door.
“Nonsense: I hear no bell,” said
Lancelot.
“I told you I always hear
it,” said Mary Ann, hesitating and blushing
delicately before the critical word.
“Oh well, run along then.
Stop a moment I must give you another kiss
for talking so nicely. There! And stop
a moment bring me up some coffee, please,
when the ground floor is satisfied.”
“Eessir I mean yessir.
What must I say?” she added, pausing troubled
on the threshold.
“Say, ‘Yes, Lancelot,’” he
answered recklessly.
“Yessir,” and Mary Ann disappeared.
It was ten endless minutes before
she reappeared with the coffee. The whole of
the second five minutes Lancelot paced his room feverishly,
cursing the ground floor, and stamping as if to bring
down its ceiling. He was curious to know more
of Mary Ann’s history.
But it proved meagre enough.
Her mother died when Mary Ann was a child; her father
when she was still a mere girl. His affairs were
found in hopeless confusion, and Mary Ann was considered
lucky to be taken into the house of the well-to-do
Mrs. Leadbatter, of London, the eldest sister of a
young woman who had nursed the vicar’s wife.
Mrs. Leadbatter had promised the vicar to train up
the girl in the way a domestic should go.
“And when I am old enough she
is going to pay me wages as well,” concluded
Mary Ann, with an air of importance.
“Indeed how old were you when you
left the village?”
“Fourteen.”
“And how old are you now?”
Mary Ann looked confused. “I don’t
quite know,” she murmured.
“O come,” said Lancelot
laughingly; “is this your country simplicity?
You’re quite young enough to tell how old you
are.”
The tears came into Mary Ann’s eyes.
“I can’t, Mr. Lancelot,”
she protested earnestly; “I forgot to count I’ll
ask missus.”
“And whatever she tells you,
you’ll be,” he said, amused at her unshakable
loyalty.
“Yessir,” said Mary Ann.
“And so you are quite alone in the world?”
“Yessir but I’ve
got my canary. They sold everything when my father
died, but the vicar’s wife she bought my canary
back for me because I cried so. And I brought
it to London and it hangs in my bedroom. And
the vicar, he was so kind to me, he did give me a lot
of advice, and Mrs. Amersham, who kept the chandler’s
shop, she did give me ninepence, all in three-penny
bits.”
“And you never had any brothers or sisters?”
“There was our Sally, but she died before mother.”
“Nobody else?”
“There’s my big brother Tom but
I mustn’t tell you about him.”
“Mustn’t tell me about him? Why
not?”
“He’s so wicked.”
The answer was so unexpected that
Lancelot, could not help laughing, and Mary Ann flushed
to the roots of her hair.
“Why, what has he done?” said Lancelot,
composing his mouth to gravity.
“I don’t know; I was only
six. Father told me it was something very dreadful,
and Tom had to run away to America, and I mustn’t
mention him any more. And mother was crying,
and I cried because Tom used to give me tickey-backs
and go blackberrying with me and our little Sally;
and everybody else in the village they seemed glad,
because they had said so all along, because Tom would
never go to church, even when a little boy.”
“I suppose then you went to church regularly?”
“Yessir. When I was at home, I mean.”
“Every Sunday?”
Mary Ann hung her head. “Once
I went meechin’,” she said in low tones.
“Some boys and girls they wanted me to go nutting,
and I wanted to go too, but I didn’t know how
to get away, and they told me to cough very loud when
the sermon began, so I did, and coughed on and on till
at last the vicar glowed at father, and father had
to send me out of church.”
Lancelot laughed heartily. “Then you didn’t
like the sermon.”
“It wasn’t that, sir. The sun was
shining that beautiful outside, and
I never minded the sermon, only I did get tired of
sitting still. But
I never done it again our little Sally,
she died soon after.”
Lancelot checked his laughter.
“Poor little fool!” he thought.
Then to brighten her up again he asked cheerily, “And
what else did you do on the farm?”
“Oh, please sir, missus will be wanting me now.”
“Bother missus. I want
some more milk,” he said, emptying the milk-jug
into the slop-basin. “Run down and get
some.”
Mary Ann was startled by the splendour
of the deed. She took the jug silently and disappeared.
When she returned he said: “Well,
you haven’t told me half yet. I suppose
you kept bees?”
“Oh yes, and I fed the pigs.”
“Hang the pigs! Let’s hear something
more romantic.”
“There was the calves to suckle
sometimes, when the mother died or was sold.”
“Calves! H’m! H’m!
Well, but how could you do that?”
“Dipped my fingers in milk,
and let the calves suck ’em. The silly
creatures thought it was their mothers’ teats.
Like this.”
With a happy inspiration she put her
fingers into the slop-basin, and held them up dripping.
Lancelot groaned. It was not
only that his improved Mary Ann was again sinking
to earth, unable to soar in the romantic aether
where he would fain have seen her volant; it was not
only that the coarseness of her nature had power to
drag her down, it was the coarseness of her red, chapped
hands that was thrust once again and violently upon
his reluctant consciousness.
Then, like Mary Ann, he had an inspiration.
“How would you like a pair of gloves, Mary Ann?”
He had struck the latent feminine.
Her eyes gleamed. “Oh, sir!” was
all she could say. Then a swift shade of disappointment
darkened the eager little face.
“But I never goes out,” she cried.
“I never go out,” he corrected,
shuddering.
“I never go out,” said Mary Ann,
her lip twitching.
“That doesn’t matter. I want you
to wear them indoors.”
“But there’s nobody to see ’em indoors!”
“I shall see them,” he reminded her.
“But they’ll get dirty.”
“No they won’t.
You shall only wear them when you come to me.
If I buy you a nice pair of gloves, will you promise
to put them on every time I ring for you?”
“But what’ll missus say?”
“Missus won’t see them.
The moment you come in, you’ll put them on,
and just before going out you’ll take
them off! See!”
“Yessir. Then nobody’ll see me looking
so grand but you.”
“That’s it. And
wouldn’t you rather look grand for me than for
anybody else?”
“Of course I would, sir,”
said Mary Ann, earnestly, with a grateful little sigh.
So Lancelot measured her wrist, feeling
her pulse beat madly. She really had a very
little hand, though to his sensitive vision the roughness
of the skin seemed to swell it to a size demanding
a boxing-glove. He bought her six pairs of tan
kid, in a beautiful cardboard box. He could
ill afford the gift, and made one of his whimsical
grimaces when he got the bill. The young lady
who served him looked infinitely more genteel than
Mary Ann. He wondered what she would think if
she knew for whom he was buying these dainty articles.
Perhaps her feelings would be so outraged she would
refuse to participate in the transaction. But
the young lady was happily unconscious; she had her
best smile for the handsome, aristocratic young gentleman,
and mentioned his moustache later to her bosom-friend
in the next department.
And thus Mary Ann and Lancelot became
the joint owners of a secret, and co-players in a
little comedy. When Mary Ann came into the room,
she would put whatever she was carrying on a chair,
gravely extract her gloves from her pocket, and draw
them on, Lancelot pretending not to know she was in
the room, though he had just said, “Come in.”
After allowing her a minute he would look up.
In the course of a week this became mechanical, so
that he lost the semi-ludicrous sense of secrecy which
he felt at first, as well as the little pathetic emotion
inspired by her absolute unconsciousness that the
performance was not intended for her own gratification.
Nevertheless, though he could now endure to see Mary
Ann handling the sugar-tongs, he remained cold to her
for some weeks. He had kissed her again in the
flush of her joy at the sight of the gloves, but after
that there was a reaction. He rarely went to
the club now (there was no one with whom he was in
correspondence except music-publishers, and they didn’t
reply), but he dropped in there once soon after the
glove episode, looked over the papers in the smoking-room,
and chatted with a popular composer and one or two
men he knew. It was while the waiter was holding
out the coffee-tray to him that Mary Ann flashed upon
his consciousness. The thought of her seemed
so incongruous with the sober magnificence, the massive
respectability that surrounded him, the cheerful, marble
hearth reddened with leaping flame, the luxurious
lounges, the well-groomed old gentlemen smoking eighteenpenny
cheroots, the suave, noiseless satellites, that Lancelot
felt a sudden pang of bewildered shame. Why,
the very waiter who stood bent before him would disdain
her. He took his coffee hastily, with a sense
of personal unworthiness. This feeling soon
evaporated, but it left lees of resentment against
Mary Ann which made him inexplicable to her.
Fortunately, her habit of acceptance saved her some
tears, though she shed others. And there remained
always the gloves. When she was putting them
on she always felt she was slipping her hands in his.
And then there was yet a further consolation.
For the gloves had also a subtle effect on Lancelot.
They gave him a sense of responsibility. Vaguely
resentful as he felt against Mary Ann (in the intervals
of his more definite resentment against publishers),
he also felt that he could not stop at the gloves.
He had started refining her, and he must go on till
she was, so to speak, all gloves. He must cover
up her coarse speech, as he had covered up her coarse
hands. He owed that to the gloves; it was the
least he could do for them. So, whenever Mary
Ann made a mistake, Lancelot corrected her. He
found these grammatical dialogues not uninteresting,
and a vent for his ill-humour against publishers to
boot. Very often his verbal corrections sounded
astonishingly like reprimands. Here, again, Mary
Ann was forearmed by her feeling that she deserved
them. She would have been proud had she known
how much Mr. Lancelot was satisfied with her aspirates,
which came quite natural. She had only dropped
her “h’s” temporarily, as one drops
country friends in coming to London. Curiously
enough, Mary Ann did not regard the new locutions
and pronunciations as superseding the old. They
were a new language; she knew two others, her mother-tongue
and her missus’s tongue. She would as little
have thought of using her new linguistic acquirements
in the kitchen as of wearing her gloves there.
They were for Lancelot’s ears only, as her gloves
were for his eyes.
All this time Lancelot was displaying
prodigious musical activity, so much so that the cost
of ruled paper became a consideration. There
was no form of composition he did not essay, none
by which he made a shilling. Once he felt himself
the prey of a splendid inspiration, and sat up all
night writing at fever pitch, surrounded with celestial
harmonies, audible to him alone; the little room resounded
with the thunder of a mighty orchestra, in which every
instrument sang to him individually the
piccolo, the flute, the oboes, the clarionets, filling
the air with a silver spray of notes; the drums throbbing,
the trumpets shrilling, the four horns pealing with
long, stately notes, the trombones and bassoons vibrating,
the violins and violas sobbing in linked sweetness,
the ’cello and the contra-bass moaning their
under-chant. And then, in the morning, when the
first rough sketch was written, the glory faded.
He threw down his pen, and called himself an ass
for wasting his time on what nobody would ever look
at. Then he laid his head on the table, overwrought,
full of an infinite pity for himself. A sudden
longing seized him for some one to love him, to caress
his hair, to smooth his hot forehead. This mood
passed too; he smoothed the slumbering Beethoven instead.
After a while he went into his bedroom, and sluiced
his face and hands in ice-cold water, and rang the
bell for breakfast.
There was a knock at the door in response.
“Come in!” he said gently his
emotions had left him tired to the point of tenderness.
And then he waited a minute while Mary Ann was drawing
on her gloves.
“Did you ring, sir?” said
a wheezy voice at last. Mrs. Leadbatter had
got tired of waiting.
Lancelot started violently Mrs.
Leadbatter had latterly left him entirely to Mary
Ann. “It’s my hastmer,” she
had explained to him apologetically, meeting him casually
in the passage. “I can’t trollop
up and down stairs as I used to when I fust took this
house five-an’-twenty year ago, and pore Mr.
Leadbatter ” and here followed
reminiscences long since in their hundredth edition.
“Yes; let me have some coffee very
hot please,” said Lancelot less gently.
The woman’s voice jarred upon him; and her features
were not redeeming.
“Lawd, sir, I ’ope that
gas ‘asn’t been burnin’ all night,
sir,” she said as she was going out.
“It has,” he said shortly.
“You’ll hexcoose me, sir,
but I didn’t bargen for that. I’m
only a pore, honest, ‘ard-workin’ widder,
and I noticed the last gas bill was ’eavier
than hever since that black winter that took pore Mr.
Leadbatter to ’is grave. Fair is fair,
and I shall ’ave to reckon it a hextry,
with the rate gone up sevenpence a thousand, and my
Rosie leavin’ a fine nursemaid’s place
in Bayswater at the end of the month to come ’ome
and ’elp ’er mother, ’cos my hastmer ”
“Will you please shut the door
after you?” interrupted Lancelot, biting his
lip with irritation. And Mrs. Leadbatter, who
was standing in the aperture with no immediate intention
of departing, could find no repartee beyond slamming
the door as hard as she could.
This little passage of arms strangely
softened Lancelot to Mary Ann. It made him realise
faintly what her life must be.
“I should go mad and smash all
the crockery!” he cried aloud. He felt
quite tender again towards the uncomplaining girl.
Presently there was another knock.
Lancelot growled, half prepared to renew the battle,
and to give Mrs. Leadbatter a piece of his mind on
the subject. But it was merely Mary Ann.
Shaken in his routine, he looked on
steadily while Mary Ann drew on her gloves; and this
in turn confused Mary Ann. Her hand trembled.
“Let me help you,” he said.
And there was Lancelot buttoning Mary
Ann’s glove just as if her name were Guinevere!
And neither saw the absurdity of wasting time upon
an operation which would have to be undone in two
minutes. Then Mary Ann, her eyes full of soft
light, went to the sideboard and took out the prosaic
elements of breakfast.
When she returned, to put them back,
Lancelot was astonished to see her carrying a cage a
plain square cage, made of white tin wire.
“What’s that?” he gasped.
“Please, Mr. Lancelot, I want
to ask you to do me a favour.” She dropped
her eyelashes timidly.
“Yes, Mary Ann,” he said
briskly. “But what have you got there?”
“It’s only my canary,
sir. Would you please, sir, would
you mind?” then desperately:
“I want to hang it up here, sir!”
“Here?” he repeated in frank astonishment.
“Why?”
“Please, sir, I I it’s
sunnier here, sir, and I I think it must
be pining away. It hardly ever sings in my bedroom.”
“Well, but,” he began then
seeing the tears gathering on her eyelids, he finished
with laughing good-nature “as long
as Mrs. Leadbatter doesn’t reckon it an extra.”
“Oh no, sir,” said Mary
Ann seriously. “I’ll tell her.
Besides, she will be glad, because she don’t
like the canary she says its singing disturbs
her. Her room is next to mine, you know, Mr.
Lancelot.”
“But you said it doesn’t sing much.”
“Please, sir, I I
mean in summer,” exclaimed Mary Ann in rosy
confusion; “and and it’ll
soon be summer, sir.”
“Sw e-e-t!”
burst forth the canary suddenly, as if encouraged by
Mary Ann’s opinion. It was a pretty little
bird one golden yellow from beak to tail,
as though it had been dipped in sunshine.
“You see, sir,” she cried
eagerly, “it’s beginning already.”
“Yes,” said Lancelot grimly; “but
so is Beethoven.”
“I’ll hang it high up in
the window,” said Mary Ann, “where the
dog can’t get at it.”
“Well, I won’t take any
responsibilities,” murmured Lancelot resignedly.
“No, sir, I’ll attend to that,”
said Mary Ann vaguely.
After the installation of the canary
Lancelot found himself slipping more and more into
a continuous matter-of-course flirtation; more and
more forgetting the slavey in the candid young creature
who had, at moments, strange dancing lights in her
awakened eyes, strange flashes of witchery in her
ingenuous expression. And yet he made a desultory
struggle against what a secret voice was always whispering
was a degradation. He knew she had no real place
in his life; he scarce thought of her save when she
came bodily before his eyes with her pretty face and
her trustful glance.
He felt no temptation to write sonatas
on her eyebrow to borrow Peter’s
variation, for the use of musicians, of Shakespeare’s
“write sonnets on his mistress’s eyebrow” and,
indeed, he knew she could be no fit mistress for him this
starveling drudge, with passive passions, meek, accepting,
with well-nigh every spark of spontaneity choked out
of her. The women of his dreams were quite other beautiful,
voluptuous, full of the joy of life, tremulous with
poetry and lofty thought, with dark, amorous orbs
that flashed responsive to his magic melodies.
They hovered about him as he wrote and played Venuses
rising from the seas of his music. And then with
his eyes full of the divine tears of youth, with his
brain a hive of winged dreams he would
turn and kiss merely Mary Ann! Such is the pitiful
breed of mortals.
And after every such fall he thought
more contemptuously of Mary Ann. Idealise her
as he might, see all that was best in her as he tried
to do, she remained common and commonplace enough.
Her ingenuousness, while from one point of view it
was charming, from another was but a pleasant synonym
for silliness. And it might not be ingenuousness or
silliness after all! For was Mary
Ann as innocent as she looked? The guilelessness
of the dove might very well cover the wisdom of the
serpent. The instinct the repugnance
that made him sponge off her first kiss from his lips was
probably a true instinct. How was it possible
a girl of that class should escape the sordid attentions
of street swains? Even when she was in the country
she was well-nigh of woo-able age, the likely cynosure
of neighbouring ploughboys’ eyes. And what
of the other lodgers?
A finer instinct that of
a gentleman kept him from putting any questions
to Mary Ann. Indeed, his own delicacy repudiated
the images that strove to find entry in his brain,
even as his fastidiousness shrank from realising the
unlovely details of Mary Ann’s daily duties these
things disgusted him more with himself than with her.
And yet he found himself acquiring a new and illogical
interest in the boots he met outside doors.
Early one morning he went half-way up the second flight
of stairs a strange region where his own
boots had never before trod but came down
ashamed and with fluttering heart as if he had gone
up to steal boots instead of to survey them.
He might have asked Mary Ann or her “missus”
who the other tenants were, but he shrank from the
topic. Their hours were not his, and he only
once chanced on a fellow-man in the passage, and then
he was not sure it was not the tax-collector.
Besides, he was not really interested it
was only a flicker of idle curiosity as to the actual
psychology of Mary Ann. That he did not really
care he proved to himself by kissing her next time.
He accepted her as she was because she
was there. She brightened his troubled life
a little, and he was quite sure he brightened hers.
So he drifted on, not worrying himself to mean any
definite harm to her. He had quite enough worry
with those music-publishers.
The financial outlook was, indeed,
becoming terrifying. He was glad there was nobody
to question him, for he did not care to face the facts.
Peter’s threat of becoming a regular visitor
had been nullified by his father despatching him to
Germany to buy up some more Teutonic patents.
“Wonderful are the ways of Providence!”
he had written to Lancelot. “If I had
not flown in the old man’s face and picked up
a little German here years ago, I should not be half
so useful to him now. . . . I shall pay a flying
visit to Leipsic not on business.”
But at last Peter returned, Mrs. Leadbatter
panting to the door to let him in one afternoon without
troubling to ask Lancelot if he was “at home.”
He burst upon the musician, and found him in the most
undisguisable dumps.
“Why didn’t you answer
my letter, you impolite old bear?” Peter asked,
warding off Beethoven with his umbrella.
“I was busy,” Lancelot replied pettishly.
“Busy writing rubbish.
Haven’t you got ‘Ops.’ enough?
I bet you haven’t had anything published yet.”
“I’m working at a grand
opera,” he said in dry, mechanical tones.
“I have hopes of getting it put on. Gasco,
the impresario, is a member of my club, and
he thinks of running a season in the autumn.
I had a talk with him yesterday.”
“I hope I shall live to see it,” said
Peter sceptically.
“I hope you will,” said Lancelot sharply.
“None of my family ever lived
beyond ninety,” said Peter, shaking his head
dolefully; “and then, my heart is not so good
as it might be.”
“It certainly isn’t!”
cried poor Lancelot. “But everybody hits
a chap when he’s down.”
He turned his head away, striving
to swallow the lump that would rise to his throat.
He had a sense of infinite wretchedness and loneliness.
“Oh, poor old chap; is it so
bad as all that?” Peter’s somewhat strident
voice had grown tender as a woman’s. He
laid his hand affectionately on Lancelot’s tumbled
hair. “You know I believe in you with
all my soul. I never doubted your genius for
a moment. Don’t I know too well that’s
what keeps you back? Come, come, old fellow.
Can’t I persuade you to write rot? One
must keep the pot boiling, you know. You turn
out a dozen popular ballads, and the coin’ll
follow your music as the rats did the pied piper’s.
Then, if you have any ambition left, you kick away
the ladder by which you mounted, and stand on the
heights of art.”
“Never!” cried Lancelot.
“It would degrade me in my own eyes. I’d
rather starve; and you can’t shake them off the
first impression is everything; they would always
be remembered against me,” he added, after a
pause.
“Motives mixed,” reflected
Peter. “That’s a good sign.”
Aloud he said, “Well, you think it over.
This is a practical world, old man; it wasn’t
made for dreamers. And one of the first dreams
that you’ve got to wake from is the dream that
anybody connected with the stage can be relied on
from one day to the next. They gas for the sake
of gassing, or they tell you pleasant lies out of
mere goodwill, just as they call for your drinks.
Their promises are beautiful bubbles, on a basis of
soft soap and made to ‘bust.’”
“You grow quite eloquent,”
said Lancelot, with a wan smile.
“Eloquent! There’s
more in me than you’ve yet found out. Now,
then! Give us your hand that you’ll chuck
art, and we’ll drink to your popular ballad hundredth
thousand edition, no drawing-room should be without
it.”
Lancelot flushed. “I was
just going to have some tea. I think it’s
five o’clock,” he murmured.
“The very thing I’m dying
for,” cried Peter energetically; “I’m
as parched as a pea.” Inwardly he was
shocked to find the stream of whisky run dry.
So Lancelot rang the bell, and Mary
Ann came up with the tea-tray in the twilight.
“We’ll have a light,”
cried Peter, and struck one of his own with a shadowy
underthought of saving Mary Ann from a possible scolding,
in case Lancelot’s matches should be again unapparent.
Then he uttered a comic exclamation of astonishment.
Mary Ann was putting on a pair of gloves! In
his surprise he dropped the match.
Mary Ann was equally startled by the
unexpected sight of a stranger, but when he struck
the second match her hands were bare and red.
“What in heaven’s name
were you putting on gloves for, my girl?” said
Peter, amused.
Lancelot stared fixedly at the fire,
trying to keep the blood from flooding his cheeks.
He wondered that the ridiculousness of the whole
thing had never struck him in its full force before.
Was it possible he could have made such an ass of
himself?
“Please, sir, I’ve got
to go out, and I’m in a hurry,” said Mary
Ann.
Lancelot felt intense relief.
An instant after his brow wrinkled itself.
“Oho!” he thought. “So this
is Miss Simpleton, is it?”
“Then why did you take them off again?”
retorted Peter.
Mary Ann’s repartee was to burst into tears
and leave the room.
“Now I’ve offended her,”
said Peter. “Did you see how she tossed
her pretty head?”
“Ingenious minx,” thought Lancelot.
“She’s left the tray on
a chair by the door,” went on Peter. “What
an odd girl! Does she always carry on like this?”
“She’s got such a lot
to do. I suppose she sometimes gets a bit queer
in her head,” said Lancelot, conceiving he was
somehow safe-guarding Mary Ann’s honour by the
explanation.
“I don’t think that,”
answered Peter. “She did seem dull and
stupid when I was here last. But I had a good
stare at her just now, and she seems rather bright.
Why, her accent is quite refined she must
have picked it up from you.”
“Nonsense, nonsense!” exclaimed Lancelot
testily.
The little danger or rather
the great danger of being made to appear ridiculous which
he had just passed through, contributed to rouse him
from his torpor. He exerted himself to turn the
conversation, and was quite lively over tea.
“Sw eet! Sw w w w eet!”
suddenly broke into the conversation.
“More mysteries!” cried Peter. “What’s
that?”
“Only a canary.”
“What, another musical instrument!
Isn’t Beethoven jealous? I wonder he
doesn’t consume his rival in his wrath.
But I never knew you liked birds.”
“I don’t particularly. It isn’t
mine.”
“Whose is it?”
Lancelot answered briskly, “Mary
Ann’s. She asked to be allowed to keep
it here. It seems it won’t sing in her
attic; it pines away.”
“And do you believe that?”
“Why not? It doesn’t sing much even
here.”
“Let me look at it ah,
it’s a plain Norwich yellow. If you wanted
a singing canary you should have come to me, I’d
have given you one ’made in Germany’ one
of our patents they train them to sing tunes,
and that puts up the price.”
“Thank you, but this one disturbs me sufficiently.”
“Then why do you put up with it?”
“Why do I put up with that Christmas
number supplement over the mantel-piece? It’s
part of the furniture. I was asked to let it
be here, and I couldn’t be rude.”
“No, it’s not in your
nature. What a bore it must be to feed it!
Let me see, I suppose you give it canary seed biscuits I
hope you don’t give it butter.”
“Don’t be an ass!”
roared Lancelot. “You don’t imagine
I bother my head whether it eats butter or or
marmalade.”
“Who feeds it then?”
“Mary Ann, of course.”
“She comes in and feeds it?”
“Certainly.”
“Several times a day?”
“I suppose so.”
“Lancelot,” said Peter solemnly, “Mary
Ann’s mashed on you.”
Lancelot shrank before Peter’s
remark as a burglar from a policeman’s bull’s-eye.
The bull’s-eye seemed to cast a new light on
Mary Ann, too, but he felt too unpleasantly dazzled
to consider that for the moment; his whole thought
was to get out of the line of light.
“Nonsense!” he answered;
“why I’m hardly ever in when she feeds
it, and I believe it eats all day long gets
supplied in the morning like a coal-scuttle.
Besides, she comes in to dust and all that when she
pleases. And I do wish you wouldn’t use
that word ‘mashed.’ I loathe it.”
Indeed, he writhed under the thought
of being coupled with Mary Ann. The thing sounded
so ugly so squalid. In the actual,
it was not so unpleasant, but looked at from the outside unsympathetically it
was hopelessly vulgar, incurably plebeian. He
shuddered.
“I don’t know,”
said Peter. “It’s a very expressive
word, is ‘mashed.’ But I will make
allowance for your poetical feelings and give up the
word except in its literal sense, of course.
I’m sure you wouldn’t object to mashing
a music-publisher!”
Lancelot laughed with false heartiness.
“Oh, but if I’m to write those popular
ballads, you say he’ll become my best friend.”
“Of course he will,” cried
Peter, eagerly sniffing at the red herring Lancelot
had thrown across the track. “You stand
out for a royalty on every copy, so that if you strike
île oh, I beg your pardon, that’s
another of the phrases you object to, isn’t it?”
“Don’t be a fool,”
said Lancelot, laughing on. “You know I
only object to that in connection with English peers
marrying the daughters of men who have done it.”
“Oh, is that it? I wish
you’d publish an expurgated dictionary with
most of the words left out, and exact definitions of
the conditions under which one may use the remainder.
But I’ve got on a siding. What was I
talking about?”
“Royalty,” muttered Lancelot languidly.
“Royalty? No. You
mentioned the aristocracy, I think.” Then
he burst into a hearty laugh. “Oh yes on
that ballad. Now, look here! I’ve
brought a ballad with me just to show you a
thing that is going like wildfire.”
“’Not Good-night and
good-bye, I hope,” laughed Lancelot.
“Yes the very one!” cried Peter,
astonished.
“Himmel!” groaned Lancelot in comic
despair.
“You know it already?” inquired Peter
eagerly.
“No; only I can’t open
a paper without seeing the advertisement and the sickly-sentimental
refrain.”
“You see how famous it is, anyway,”
said Peter. “And if you want to strike er to
make a hit you’ll just take that song and do
a deliberate imitation of it.”
“Wha-a-a-t!” gasped Lancelot.
“My dear chap, they all do it.
When the public cotton to a thing they can’t
have enough of it.”
“But I can write my own rot, surely.”
“In the face of all this litter
of ‘Ops.’ I daren’t dispute
that for a moment. But it isn’t enough
to write rot the public want a particular
kind of rot. Now just play that over oblige
me.” He laid both hands on Lancelot’s
shoulders in amicable appeal.
Lancelot shrugged them, but seated
himself at the piano, played the introductory chords,
and commenced singing the words in his pleasant baritone.
Suddenly Beethoven ran towards the door, howling.
Lancelot ceased playing and looked approvingly at
the animal.
“By Jove! He wants to
go out. What an ear for music that animal’s
got!”
Peter smiled grimly. “It’s
long enough. I suppose that’s why you call
him Beethoven.”
“Not at all. Beethoven
had no ear at least not in his latest period he
was deaf. Lucky devil! That is, if this
sort of thing was brought round on barrel-organs.”
“Never mind, old man! Finish the thing.”
“But consider Beethoven’s feelings!”
“Hang Beethoven!”
“Poor Beethoven. Come
here, my poor maligned musical critic! Would
they give you a bad name and hang you? Now you
must be very quiet. Put your paws into those
lovely long ears of yours if it gets too horrible.
You have been used to high-class music, I know, but
this is the sort of thing that England expects every
man to do, so the sooner you get used to it the better.”
He ran his fingers along the keys. “There,
Peter, he’s growling already. I’m
sure he’ll start again, the moment I strike
the theme.”
“Let him! We’ll take it as a spaniel
obligato.”
“Oh, but his accompaniments are too staccato.
He has no sense of time.”
“Why don’t you teach him,
then, to wag his tail like the pendulum of a metronome?
He’d be more use to you that way than setting
up to be a musician, which Nature never meant him
for his hair’s not long enough.
But go ahead, old man, Beethoven’s behaving himself
now.”
Indeed, as if he were satisfied with
his protest, the little beast remained quiet, while
his lord and master went through the piece. He
did not even interrupt at the refrain.
“Kiss me, good-night, dear love,
Dream of the old delight;
My spirit is summoned above,
Kiss me, dear love, good-night.”
“I must say it’s not so
awful as I expected,” said Lancelot candidly;
“it’s not at all bad for a waltz.”
“There, you see!” said
Peter eagerly; “the public are not such fools
after all.”
“Still, the words are the most
maudlin twaddle!” said Lancelot, as if he found
some consolation in the fact.
“Yes, but I didn’t write
them!” replied Peter quickly. Then
he grew red and laughed an embarrassed laugh.
“I didn’t mean to tell you, old man.
But there the cat’s out. That’s
what took me to Brahmson’s that afternoon we
met! And I harmonised it myself, mind you, every
crotchet. I picked up enough at the Conservatoire
for that. You know lots of fellows only do the
tune they give out all the other work.”
“So you are the great Keeley
Lesterre, eh?” said Lancelot in amused astonishment.
“Yes; I have to do it under
another name. I don’t want to grieve the
old man. You see, I promised him to reform, when
he took me back to his heart and business.”
“Is that strictly honourable,
Peter?” said Lancelot, shaking his head.
“Oh well! I couldn’t
give it up altogether, but I do practically stick
to the contract it’s all overtime,
you know. It doesn’t interfere a bit with
business. Besides, as you’d say, it isn’t
music,” he said slyly. “And just
because I don’t want it I make a heap of coin
out of it that’s why I’m so
vexed at your keeping me still in your debt.”
Lancelot frowned. “Then
you had no difficulty in getting published?”
he asked.
“I don’t say that.
It was bribery and corruption so far as my first
song was concerned. I tipped a professional to
go down and tell Brahmson he was going to take it
up. You know, of course, well-known singers
get half a guinea from the publisher every time they
sing a song.”
“No; do they?” said Lancelot. “How
mean of them.”
“Business, my boy. It
pays the publisher to give it them. Look at the
advertisement!”
“But suppose a really fine song
was published and the publisher refused to pay this
blood-money?”
“Then I suppose they’d
sing some other song, and let that moulder on the
foolish publisher’s shelves.”
“Great heavens!” said
Lancelot, jumping up from the piano in wild excitement.
“Then a musician’s reputation is really
at the mercy of a mercenary crew of singers, who respect
neither art nor themselves. Oh yes, we are indeed
a musical people!”
“Easy there! Several of
’em are pals of mine, and I’ll get them
to take up those ballads of yours as soon as you write
’em.”
“Let them go to the devil with
their ballads!” roared Lancelot, and with a
sweep of his arm whirled Good-night and good-bye
into the air. Peter picked it up and wrote something
on it with a stylographic pen which he produced from
his waistcoat pocket.
“There!” he said, “that’ll
make you remember it’s your own property and
mine that you are treating so disrespectfully.”
“I beg your pardon, old chap,”
said Lancelot, rebuked and remorseful.
“Don’t mention it,”
replied Peter. “And whenever you decide
to become rich and famous there’s
your model.”
“Never! never! never!”
cried Lancelot, when Peter went at ten. “My
poor Beethoven! What you must have suffered!
Never mind, I’ll play you your Moonlight sonata.”
He touched the keys gently, and his
sorrows and his temptations faded from him.
He glided into Bach, and then into Chopin and Mendelssohn,
and at last drifted into dreamy improvisation, his
fingers moving almost of themselves, his eyes, half
closed, seeing only inward visions.
And then, all at once, he awoke with
a start, for Beethoven was barking towards the door,
with pricked-up ears and rigid tail.
“Sh! You little beggar,”
he murmured, becoming conscious that the hour was
late, and that he himself had been noisy at unbeseeming
hours. “What’s the matter with you?”
And, with a sudden thought, he threw open the door.
It was merely Mary Ann.
Her face flashed so unexpectedly
upon him had the piquancy of a vision,
but its expression was one of confusion and guilt;
there were tears on her cheeks; in her hand was a
bed-room candlestick.
She turned quickly, and began to mount
the stairs. Lancelot put his hand on her shoulder,
and turned her face towards him, and said in an imperious
whisper:
“Now then, what’s up? What are you
crying about?”
“I ain’t I
mean I’m not crying,” said Mary
Ann, with a sob in her breath.
“Come, come, don’t fib. What’s
the matter?”
“I’m not crying; it’s only the music,”
she murmured.
“The music,” he echoed, bewildered.
“Yessir. The music always
makes me cry but you can’t call it
crying it feels so nice.”
“Oh, then you’ve been listening!”
“Yessir.” Her eyes drooped in humiliation.
“But you ought to have been
in bed,” he said. “You get little
enough sleep as it is.”
“It’s better than sleep,” she answered.
The simple phrase vibrated through
him like a beautiful minor chord. He smoothed
her hair tenderly.
“Poor child!” he said.
There was an instant’s silence.
It was past midnight, and the house was painfully
still. They stood upon the dusky landing, across
which a bar of light streamed from his half-open door,
and only Beethoven’s eyes were upon them.
But Lancelot felt no impulse to fondle her; only
just to lay his hand on her hair, as in benediction
and pity.
“So you liked what I was playing,”
he said, not without a pang of personal pleasure.
“Yessir; I never heard you play that before.”
“So you often listen!”
“I can hear you, even in the
kitchen. Oh, it’s just lovely! I
don’t care what I have to do then, if it’s
grates or plates or steps. The music goes and
goes, and I feel back in the country again, and standing,
as I used to love to stand of an evening, by the stile,
under the big elm, and watch how the sunset did redden
the white birches, and fade in the water. Oh,
it was so nice in the springtime, with the hawthorn
that grew on the other bank, and the bluebells ”
The pretty face was full of dreamy
tenderness, the eyes lit up witchingly. She
pulled herself up suddenly, and stole a shy glance
at her auditor.
“Yes, yes, go on,” he
said; “tell me all you feel about the music.”
“And there’s one song
you sometimes play that makes me feel floating on
and on like a great white swan.”
She hummed a few bars of the Gondel-Lied flawlessly.
“Dear me! you have an ear!”
he said, pinching it. “And how did you
like what I was playing just now?” he went on,
growing curious to know how his own improvisations
struck her.
“Oh, I liked it so much,”
she whispered enthusiastically, “because it
reminded me of my favourite one every moment
I did think I thought you were
going to come into that.”
The whimsical sparkle leapt into his eyes.
“And I thought I was so original,” he
murmured.
“But what I liked best,”
she began, then checked herself, as if suddenly remembering
she had never made a spontaneous remark before, and
lacking courage to establish a precedent.
“Yes what you liked best?”
he said encouragingly.
“That song you sang this afternoon,” she
said shyly.
“What song? I sang no song,” he
said, puzzled for a moment.
“Oh yes! That one about
‘Kiss me, dear love, good-night.’
I was going upstairs, but it made me stop just here and
cry.”
He made his comic grimace.
“So it was you Beethoven was
barking at! And I thought he had an ear!
And I thought you had an ear! But no! You’re
both Philistines, after all. Heigho!”
She looked sad. “Oughtn’t I to ha’
liked it?” she asked anxiously.
“Oh yes,” he said reassuringly,
“it’s very popular. No drawing-room
is without it.”
She detected the ironic ring in his
voice. “It wasn’t so much the music,”
she began apologetically.
“Now now you’re
going to spoil yourself,” he said. “Be
natural.”
“But it wasn’t,” she protested.
“It was the words ”
“That’s worse,” he murmured below
his breath.
“They reminded me of my mother as she laid dying.”
“Ah!” said Lancelot.
“Yes, sir, mother was a long
time dying it was when I was a little girl,
and I used to nurse her I fancy it was our
little Sally’s death that killed her; she took
to her bed after the funeral, and never left it till
she went to her own,” said Mary Ann, with unconscious
flippancy. “She used to look up to the
ceiling and say that she was going to little Sally,
and I remember I was such a silly then, I brought
mother flowers and apples and bits of cake to take
to Sally with my love. I put them on her pillow,
but the flowers faded and the cake got mouldy mother
was such a long time dying and at last I
ate the apples myself, I was so tired of waiting.
Wasn’t I silly?” And Mary Ann laughed
a little laugh with tears in it. Then growing
grave again, she added: “And at last, when
mother was really on the point of death, she forgot
all about little Sally, and said she was going to
meet Tom. And I remember thinking she was going
to America. I didn’t know people talk
nonsense before they die.”
“They do a great
deal of it, unfortunately,” said Lancelot lightly,
trying to disguise from himself that his eyes were
moist. He seemed to realise now what she was a
child; a child who, simpler than most children to
start with, had grown only in body, whose soul had
been stunted by uncounted years of dull and monotonous
drudgery. The blood burnt in his veins as he
thought of the cruelty of circumstance and the heartless
honesty of her mistress. He made up his mind
for the second time to give Mrs. Leadbatter a piece
of his mind in the morning.
“Well, go to bed now, my poor
child,” he said, “or you’ll get no
rest at all.”
“Yessir.”
She went obediently up a couple of
stairs, then turned her head appealingly towards him.
The tears still glimmered on her eyelashes.
For an instant he thought she was expecting her kiss,
but she only wanted to explain anxiously once again,
“That was why I liked that song, ‘Kiss
me, good-night, dear love.’ It was what
my mother ”
“Yes, yes, I understand,”
he broke in, half amused, though somehow the words
did not seem so full of maudlin pathos to him now.
“And there “ he
drew her head towards him “Kiss me,
good-night ”
He did not complete the quotation;
indeed, her lips were already drawn too close to his.
But, ere he released her, the long-repressed thought
had found expression.
“You don’t kiss anybody but me?”
he said half playfully.
“Oh no, sir,” said Mary Ann earnestly.
“What!” more lightly still. “Haven’t
you got half a dozen young men?”
Mary Ann shook her head, more regretfully
than resentfully. “I told you I never
go out except for little errands.”
She had told him, but his attention
had been so concentrated on the ungrammatical form
in which she had conveyed the information, that the
fact itself had made no impression. Now his anger
against Mrs. Leadbatter dwindled. After all,
she was wise in not giving Mary Ann the run of the
London streets.
“But” he hesitated.
“How about the the milkman and
the the other gentlemen.”
“Please, sir,” said Mary Ann, “I
don’t like them.”
After that no man could help expressing his sense
of her good taste.
“Then you won’t kiss anybody
but me,” he said, as he let her go for the last
time. He had a Quixotic sub-consciousness that
he was saving her from his kind by making her promise
formally.
“How could I, Mr. Lancelot?”
And the brimming eyes shone with soft light.
“I never shall never.”
It sounded like a troth.
He went back to the room and shut
the door, but could not shut out her image.
The picture she had unwittingly supplied of herself
took possession of his imagination: he saw her
almost as a dream-figure the virginal figure
he knew standing by the stream in the sunset,
amid the elms and silver birches, with daisies in
her hands and bluebells at her feet, inhaling the
delicate scent that wafted from the white hawthorn
bushes, and watching the water glide along till it
seemed gradually to wash away the fading colours of
the sunset that glorified it. And as he dwelt
on the vision he felt harmonies and phrases stirring
and singing in his brain, like a choir of awakened
birds. Quickly he seized paper and wrote down
the theme that flowed out at the point of his pen a
reverie full of the haunting magic of quiet waters
and woodland sunsets and the gracious innocence of
maidenhood. When it was done he felt he must
give it a distinctive name. He cast about for
one, pondering and rejecting titles innumerable.
Countless lines of poetry ran through his head, from
which he sought to pick a word or two as one plucks
a violet from a posy. At last a half-tender,
half-whimsical look came into his face, and picking
his pen out of his hair, he wrote merely “Marianne.”
It was only natural that Mary Ann
should be unable to maintain herself or
be maintained at this idyllic level.
But her fall was aggravated by two circumstances,
neither of which had any particular business to occur.
The first was an intimation from the misogamist German
Professor that he had persuaded another of his old
pupils to include a prize symphony by Lancelot in
the programme of a Crystal Palace Concert. This
was of itself sufficient to turn Lancelot’s head
away from all but thoughts of Fame, even if Mary Ann
had not been luckless enough to be again discovered
cleaning the steps and without gloves.
Against such a spectacle the veriest idealist is powerless.
If Mary Ann did not immediately revert to the category
of quadrupeds in which she had started, it was only
because of Lancelot’s supplementary knowledge
of the creature. But as he passed her by, solicitous
as before not to tread upon her, he felt as if all
the cold water in her pail were pouring down the back
of his neck.
Nevertheless, the effect of both these
turns of fortune was transient. The symphony
was duly performed, and dismissed in the papers as
promising, if over-ambitious; the only tangible result
was a suggestion from the popular composer, who was
a member of his club, that Lancelot should collaborate
with him in a comic opera, for the production of which
he had facilities. The composer confessed he
had a fluent gift of tune, but had no liking for the
drudgery of orchestration, and as Lancelot was well
up in these tedious technicalities, the two might
strike a partnership to mutual advantage.
Lancelot felt insulted, but retained
enough mastery of himself to reply that he would think
it over. As he gave no signs of life or thought,
the popular composer then wrote to him at length on
the subject, offering him fifty pounds for the job,
half of it on account. Lancelot was in sore
straits when he got the letter, for his stock of money
was dwindling to vanishing point, and he dallied with
the temptation sufficiently to take the letter home
with him. But his spirit was not yet broken,
and the letter, crumpled like a rag, was picked up
by Mary Ann and straightened out, and carefully placed
upon the mantel-shelf.
Time did something of a similar service
for Mary Ann herself, picking her up from the crumpled
attitude in which Lancelot had detected her on the
doorstep, straightening her out again, and replacing
her upon her semi-poetic pedestal. But, as with
the cream-laid notepaper, the wrinklings could not
be effaced entirely; which was more serious for Mary
Ann.
Not that Mary Ann was conscious of
these diverse humours in Lancelot. Unconscious
of changes in herself, she could not conceive herself
related to his variations of mood; still less did she
realise the inward struggle of which she was the cause.
She was vaguely aware that he had external worries,
for all his grandeur, and if he was by turns brusque,
affectionate, indifferent, playful, brutal, charming,
callous, demonstrative, she no more connected herself
with these vicissitudes than with the caprices
of the weather. If her sun smiled once a day
it was enough. How should she know that his
indifference was often a victory over himself, as
his amativeness was a defeat?
If any excuse could be found for Lancelot,
it would be that which he administered to his conscience
morning and evening like a soothing syrup. His
position was grown so desperate that Mary Ann almost
stood between him and suicide. Continued disappointment
made his soul sick; his proud heart fed on itself.
He would bite his lips till the blood came, vowing
never to give in. And not only would he not move
an inch from his ideal, he would rather die than gratify
Peter by falling back on him; he would never even
accept that cheque which was virtually his own.
It was wonderful how, in his stoniest
moments, the sight of Mary Ann’s candid face,
eloquent with dumb devotion, softened and melted him.
He would take her gloved hand and press it silently.
And Mary Ann never knew one iota of his inmost thought!
He could not bring himself to that; indeed, she never
for a moment appeared to him in the light of an intelligent
being; at her best she was a sweet, simple, loving
child. And he scarce spoke to her at all now theirs
was a silent communion he had no heart
to converse with her as he had done. The piano,
too, was almost silent; the canary sang less and less,
though spring was coming, and glints of sunshine stole
between the wires of its cage; even Beethoven sometimes
failed to bark when there was a knock at the street
door.
And at last there came a day when for
the first time in his life Lancelot inspected
his wardrobe, and hunted together his odds and ends
of jewelry. From this significant task he was
aroused by hearing Mrs. Leadbatter coughing in his
sitting-room.
He went in with an interrogative look.
“Oh, my chest!” said Mrs.
Leadbatter, patting it. “It’s no
use my denyin’ of it, sir, I’m done up.
It’s as much as I can do to crawl up to the
top to bed. I’m thinkin’ I shall
have to make up a bed in the kitchen. It only
shows ’ow right I was to send for my Rosie, though
quite the lady, and where will you find a nattier nursemaid
in all Bayswater?”
“Nowhere,” assented Lancelot automatically.
“Oh, I didn’t know you’d
noticed her running in to see ’er pore old mother
of a Sunday arternoon,” said Mrs. Leadbatter,
highly gratified. “Well, sir, I won’t
say anything about the hextry gas, though a poor widder
and sevenpence hextry on the thousand, but I’m
thinkin’ if you would give my Rosie a lesson
once a week on that there pianner, it would be a kind
of set-off, for you know, sir, the policeman tells
me your winder is a landmark to ’im on the foggiest
nights.”
Lancelot flushed, then wrinkled his
brows. This was a new idea altogether.
Mrs. Leadbatter stood waiting for his reply, with
a deferential smile tempered by asthmatic contortions.
“But have you got a piano of your own?”
“Oh no, sir,” cried Mrs. Leadbatter almost
reproachfully.
“Well; but how is your Rosie
to practise? One lesson a week is of very little
use anyway, but unless she practises a good deal it’ll
only be a waste of time.”
“Ah, you don’t know my
Rosie,” said Mrs. Leadbatter, shaking her head
with sceptical pride. “You mustn’t
judge by other gels the way that gel picks
up things is well, I’ll just tell
you what ’er school-teacher, Miss Whiteman,
said. She says ”
“My good lady,” interrupted
Lancelot, “I practised six hours a day myself.”
“Yes, but it don’t come
so natural to a man,” said Mrs. Leadbatter,
unshaken. “And it don’t look natural
neither to see a man playin’ the pianner it’s
like seein’ him knittin’.”
But Lancelot was knitting his brows
in a way that was exceedingly natural. “I
may as well tell you at once that what you propose
is impossible. First of all, because I am doubtful
whether I shall remain in these rooms; and secondly,
because I am giving up the piano immediately.
I only have it on hire, and I I ”
He felt himself blushing.
“Oh, what a pity!” interrupted
Mrs. Leadbatter. “You might as well let
me go on payin’ the hinstalments, instead of
lettin’ all you’ve paid go for nothing.
Rosie ain’t got much time, but I could allow
’er a ’our a day if it was my own pianner.”
Lancelot explained “hire”
did not mean the “hire system.” But
the idea of acquiring the piano having once fired
Mrs. Leadbatter’s brain, could not be extinguished.
The unexpected conclusion arrived at was that she
was to purchase the piano on the hire system, allowing
it to stand in Lancelot’s room, and that five
shillings a week should be taken off his rent in return
for six lessons of an hour each, one of the hours
counterbalancing the gas grievance. Reviewing
the bargain, when Mrs. Leadbatter was gone, Lancelot
did not think it at all bad for him. “Use
of the piano. Gas,” he murmured, with a
pathetic smile, recalling the advertisements he had
read before lighting on Mrs. Leadbatter’s.
“And five shillings a week it’s
a considerable relief! There’s no loss
of dignity either for nobody will know.
But I wonder what the governor would have said!”
The thought shook him with silent
laughter; a spectator might have fancied he was sobbing.
But, after the lessons began, it might
almost be said it was only when a spectator was present
that he was not sobbing. For Rosie, who was an
awkward, ungraceful young person, proved to be the
dullest and most butter-fingered pupil ever invented
for the torture of teachers; at least, so Lancelot
thought, but then he had never had any other pupils,
and was not patient. It must be admitted, though,
that Rosie giggled perpetually, apparently finding
endless humour in her own mistakes. But the climax
of the horror was the attendance of Mrs. Leadbatter
at the lessons, for, to Lancelot’s consternation,
she took it for granted that her presence was part
of the contract. She marched into the room in
her best cap, and sat, smiling, in the easy-chair,
wheezing complacently and beating time with her foot.
Occasionally she would supplement Lancelot’s
critical observations.
“It ain’t as I fears to
trust ’er with you, sir,” she also remarked
about three times a week, “for I knows, sir,
you’re a gentleman. But it’s the
neighbours; they never can mind their own business.
I told ’em you was going to give my Rosie lessons,
and you know, sir, that they will talk of what
don’t concern ’em. And, after all,
sir, it’s an hour, and an hour is sixty minutes,
ain’t it, sir?”
And Lancelot, groaning inwardly, and
unable to deny this chronometry, felt that an ironic
Providence was punishing him for his attentions to
Mary Ann.
And yet he only felt more tenderly
towards Mary Ann. Contrasted with these two
vulgar females, whom he came to conceive as her oppressors,
sitting in gauds and finery, and taking lessons which
had better befitted their Cinderella the
figure of Mary Ann definitely reassumed some of its
antediluvian poetry, if we may apply the adjective
to that catastrophic washing of the steps. And
Mary Ann herself had grown gloomier once
or twice he thought she had been crying, though he
was too numbed and apathetic to ask, and was incapable
of suspecting that Rosie had anything to do with her
tears. He hardly noticed that Rosie had taken
to feeding the canary; the question of how he should
feed himself was becoming every day more and more
menacing. He saw starvation slowly closing in
upon him like the walls of a torture-chamber.
He had grown quite familiar with the pawnshop now,
though he still slipped in as though his goods were
stolen.
And at last there came a moment when
Lancelot felt he could bear it no longer. And
then he suddenly saw daylight. Why should he
teach only Rosie? Nay, why should he teach Rosie
at all? If he was reduced to giving lessons and
after all it was no degradation to do so, no abandonment
of his artistic ideal, rather a solution of the difficulty
so simple that he wondered it had not occurred to him
before why should he give them at so wretched
a price? He would get another pupil, other pupils,
who would enable him to dispense with the few shillings
he made by Rosie. He would not ask anybody to
recommend him pupils there was no need
for his acquaintances to know, and if he asked Peter,
Peter would probably play him some philanthropic trick.
No, he would advertise.
After he had spent his last gold breast-pin
in advertisements, he realised that to get piano-forte
pupils in London was as easy as to get songs published.
By the time he had quite realised it, it was May,
and then he sat down to realise his future.
The future was sublimely simple as
simple as his wardrobe had grown. All his clothes
were on his back. In a week or two he would be
on the streets; for a poor widow could not be expected
to lodge, partially board (with use of the piano,
gas), an absolutely penniless young gentleman, though
he combined the blood of twenty county families with
the genius of a pleiad of tone-poets.
There was only one bright spot in
the prospect. Rosie’s lessons would come
to an end.
What he would do when he got on the
streets was not so clear as the rest of this prophetic
vision. He might take to a barrel-organ but
that would be a cruel waste of his artistic touch.
Perhaps he would die on a doorstep, like the professor
of many languages whose starvation was recorded in
that very morning’s paper.
Thus, driven by the saturnine necessity
that sneers at our puny resolutions, Lancelot began
to meditate surrender. For surrender of some
sort must be either of life or ideal.
After so steadfast and protracted a struggle oh,
it was cruel, it was terrible; how noble, how high-minded
he had been; and this was how the fates dealt with
him but at that moment
“Sw eet” went
the canary, and filled the room with its rapturous
demi-semi-quavers, its throat swelling, its little
body throbbing with joy of the sunshine. And
then Lancelot remembered not the joy of
the sunshine, not the joy of life no, merely
Mary Ann.
Noble! high-minded! No, let
Peter think that, let posterity think that.
But he could not cozen himself thus! He had fallen horribly,
vulgarly. How absurd of him to set himself up
as a saint, a martyr, an idealist! He could
not divide himself into two compartments like that
and pretend that only one counted in his character.
Who was he, to talk of dying for art? No, he
was but an everyday man. He wanted Mary Ann yes,
he might as well admit that to himself now. It
was no use hum-bugging himself any longer. Why
should he give her up? She was his discovery,
his treasure-trove, his property.
And if he could stoop to her, why
should he not stoop to popular work, to devilling,
to anything that would rid him of these sordid cares?
Bah! away with all pretences?
Was not this shamefaced pawning as
vulgar, as wounding to the artist’s soul, as
the turning out of tawdry melodies?
Yes, he would escape from Mrs. Leadbatter
and her Rosie; he would write to that popular composer he
had noticed his letter lying on the mantel-piece the
other day and accept the fifty pounds, and
whatever he did he could do anonymously, so that Peter
wouldn’t know, after all; he would escape from
this wretched den and take a flat far away, somewhere
where nobody knew him, and there he would sit and work,
with Mary Ann for his housekeeper. Poor Mary
Ann! How glad she would be when he told her!
The tears came into his eyes as he thought of her
naïve delight. He would rescue her from this
horrid, monotonous slavery, and happy thought he
would have her to give lessons to instead of Rosie.
Yes, he would refine her; prune away
all that reminded him of her wild growth, so that
it might no longer humiliate him to think to what a
companion he had sunk. How happy they would be!
Of course the world would censure him if it knew,
but the world was stupid and prosaic, and measured
all things by its coarse rule of thumb. It was
the best thing that could happen to Mary Ann the
best thing in the world. And then the world
wouldn’t know.
“Sw eet,” went the canary.
“Sw eet.”
This time the joy of the bird penetrated
to his own soul the joy of life, the joy
of the sunshine. He rang the bell violently,
as though he were sounding a clarion of defiance,
the trumpet of youth.
Mary Ann knocked at the door, came
in, and began to draw on her gloves.
He was in a mad mood the
incongruity struck him so that he burst out into a
roar of laughter.
Mary Ann paused, flushed, and bit
her lip. The touch of resentment he had never
noted before gave her a novel charm, spicing her simplicity.
He came over to her and took her half-bare
hands. No, they were not so terrible, after
all. Perhaps she had awakened to her iniquities,
and had been trying to wash them white. His
last hesitation as to her worthiness to live with
him vanished.
“Mary Ann,” he said, “I’m
going to leave these rooms.”
The flush deepened, but the anger
faded. She was a child again her
big eyes full of tears. He felt her hands tremble
in his.
“Mary Ann,” he went on,
“how would you like me to take you with me?”
“Do you mean it, sir?” she asked eagerly.
“Yes, dear.” It
was the first time he had used the word. The
blood throbbed madly in her ears. “If
you will come with me and be my little
housekeeper we will go away to some nice
spot, and be quite alone together in the
country if you like, amid the foxglove and the meadowsweet,
or by the green waters, where you shall stand in the
sunset and dream; and I will teach you music and the
piano” her eyes dilated “and
you shall not do any of this wretched nasty work any
more. What do you say?”
“Sw eet, sw eet,”
said the canary in thrilling jubilation.
Her happiness was choking her she could
not speak.
“And we will take the canary,
too unless I say good-bye to you as well.”
“Oh no, you mustn’t leave us here!”
“And then,” he said slowly,
“it will not be good-bye nor good-night.
Do you understand?”
“Yes, yes,” she breathed, and her face
shone.
“But think, think, Mary Ann,”
he said, a sudden pang of compunction shooting through
his breast. He released her hands. “Do
you understand?”
“I understand I shall be with you,
always.”
He replied uneasily: “I shall look after
you always.”
“Yes, yes,” she breathed. Her bosom
heaved. “Always.”
Then his very first impression of
her as “a sort of white Topsy” recurred
to him suddenly and flashed into speech.
“Mary Ann, I don’t believe
you know how you came into the world. I dare
say you ‘specs you growed.’”
“No, sir,” said Mary Ann gravely; “God
made me.”
That shook him strangely for a moment. But the
canary sang on:
“Sw-eet. Sw-w-w-w-w-eet.”