RELEASE
I
She opened the front door without
knocking, and came straight into my sitting-room.
“’E’s not ’ere,”
she said in a manner that left it doubtful whether
she made an assertion or asked a question.
“Your son?” I said.
I had risen when she came into the room, “No;
I haven’t seen him to-day.”
Ellen Mary was staring at me, but
it was clear that she neither saw nor heard me.
She had a look of intense concentration. One could
see that she was calculating, thinking, thinking....
I went over to her and took her by
the arm. I gently shook her. “Now,
tell me what’s the matter? What has happened?”
I asked.
She made an effort to collect herself,
loosened her arm from my hold and with an instinctive
movement pushed forward the old bonnet, which had
slipped to the back of her head.
“’E ’asn’t
been in to ’is dinner,” she said hurriedly.
“I’ve been on the Common looking for ’im.”
“He may have made a mistake in the time,”
I suggested.
She made a movement as though to push
me on one side, and turned towards the door.
She was calculating again. Her expression said
quite plainly, “Could he be there, could he
be there?”
“Come, come,” I said,
“there is surely no need to be anxious yet.”
She turned on me. “’E
never makes a mistake in the time,” she said
fiercely, “’e always knows the time to
the minute without clock or watch. Why did you
leave ’im alone?”
She broke off in her attack upon me
and continued: “’E’s never been
late before, not a minute, and now it’s a hour
after ’is time.”
“He may be at home by now,”
I said. She took the hint instantly and started
back again with the same stumbling little run.
I picked up my hat and followed her.
II
The Wonder was not at the cottage.
“Now, my dear woman, you must
keep calm,” I said. “There is absolutely
no reason to be disturbed. You had better go to
Challis Court and see if he is in the library, I -”
“I’m a fool,” broke
in Ellen Mary with sudden decision, and she set off
again without another word. I followed her back
to the Common and watched her out of sight. I
was more disturbed about her than about the non-appearance
of the Wonder. He was well able to take care of
himself, but she.... How strange that with all
her calculations she had not thought of going to Challis
Court, to the place where her son had spent so many
days. I began to question whether the whole affair
was not, in some way, a mysterious creation of her
own disordered brain.
Nevertheless, I took upon myself to
carry out that part of the programme which I had not
been allowed to state in words to Mrs. Stott, and set
out for Deane Hill. It was just possible that
the Wonder might have slipped down that steep incline
and injured himself. Possible, but very unlikely;
the Wonder did not take the risks common to boys of
his age, he did not disport himself on dangerous slopes.
As I walked I felt a sense of lightness,
of relief from depression. I had not been this
way by myself since the end of August. It was
good to be alone and free.
The day was fine and not cold, though
the sun was hidden. I noticed that the woods
showed scarcely a mark of autumn decline.
There was not a soul to be seen by
the monument. I scrambled down the slope and
investigated the base of the hill and came back another
way through the woods. I saw no one. I stopped
continually and whistled loudly. If he is anywhere
near at hand, I thought, and in trouble, he will hear
that and answer me. I did not call him by name.
I did not know what name to call. It would have
seemed absurd to have called “Victor.”
No one ever addressed him by name.
My return route brought me back to
the south edge of the Common, the point most remote
from the farm. There I met a labourer whom I knew
by sight, a man named Hawke. He was carrying
a stick, and prodding with it foolishly among the
furze and gorse bushes. The bracken was already
dying down.
“What are you looking for?” I asked.
“It’s this ’ere
Master Stott, sir,” he said, looking up. “’E’s
got loarst seemingly.”
I felt a sudden stab of self-reproach.
I had been taking things too easily. I looked
at my watch. It was a quarter to four.
“Mr. Challis ’ave
told me to look for ’un,” added the man,
and continued his aimless prodding of the gorse.
“Where is Mr. Challis?” I asked.
“’E’s yonder, soomewheres.”
He made a vague gesture in the direction of Pym.
The sun had come out, and the Common
was all aglow. I hastened towards the village.
On the way I met Farmer Bates and
two or three labourers. They, too, were beating
among the gorse and brown bracken. They told me
that Mr. Challis was at the cottage and I hurried
on. All the neighbourhood, it seems, was searching
for the Wonder. In the village I saw three or
four women standing with aprons over their heads,
talking together.
I had never seen Pym so animated.
I met Challis in the lane. He
was coming away from Mrs. Stott’s cottage.
“Have you found him?”
I asked stupidly. I knew quite well that the
Wonder was not found, and yet I had a fond hope that
I might, nevertheless, be mistaken.
Challis shook his head. “There
will be a mad woman in that cottage if he doesn’t
come back by nightfall,” he remarked with a jerk
of his head. “I’ve done what I can
for her.”
I explained that I had been over to
Deane Hill, searching and calling.
“You didn’t see anything?”
asked Challis, echoing my foolish query of a moment
before. I shook my head.
We were both agitated without doubt.
We soon came up with Farmer Bates
and his men. They stopped and touched their hats
when they saw us, and we put the same silly question
to them.
“You haven’t found him?”
We knew perfectly well that they would have announced
the fact at once if they had found him.
“One of you go over to the Court
and get any man you can find to come and help,”
said Challis. “Tell Heathcote to send every
one.”
One of the labourers touched his cap
again, and started off at once with a lumbering trot.
Challis and I walked on in silence,
looking keenly about us and stopping every now and
then and calling. We called “Hallo!
Hallo-o!” It was an improvement upon my whistle.
“He’s such a little chap,”
muttered Challis once; “it would be so easy
to miss him if he were unconscious.”
It struck me that the reference to
the Wonder was hardly sufficiently respectful.
I had never thought of him as “a little chap.”
But Challis had not known him so intimately as I had.
The shadows were fast creeping over
the Common. At the woodside it was already twilight.
The whole of the western sky right up to the zenith
was a finely shaded study in brilliant orange and yellow.
“More rain,” I thought instinctively,
and paused for a moment to watch the sunset. The
black distance stood clearly silhouetted against the
sky. One could discern the sharp outline of tiny
trees on the distant horizon.
We met Heathcote and several other men in the lane.
“Shan’t be able to do
much to-night, sir,” said Heathcote. “It’ll
be dark in ’alf an hour, sir.”
“Well, do what you can in half
an hour,” replied Challis, and to me he said,
“You’d better come back with me. We’ve
done what we can.”
I had a picture of him then as the
magnate; I had hardly thought of him in that light
before. The arduous work of the search he could
delegate to his inferiors. Still, he had come
out himself, and I doubt not that he had been altogether
charming to the bewildered, distraught mother.
I acquiesced in his suggestion.
I was beginning to feel very tired.
Mrs. Heathcote was at the gate when
we arrived at the Court. “’Ave they found
’im, sir?” she asked.
“Not yet,” replied Challis.
I followed him into the house.
IV
As I walked back at ten o’clock
it was raining steadily. I had refused the offer
of a trap. I went through the dark and sodden
wood, and lingered and listened. The persistent
tap, tap, tap of the rain on the leaves irritated
me. How could one hear while that noise was going
on? There was no other sound. There was
not a breath of wind. Only that perpetual tap,
tap, tap, patter, patter, drip, tap, tap. It seemed
as if it might go on through eternity....
I went to the Stotts’ cottage,
though I knew there could be no news. Challis
had given strict instructions that any news should
be brought to him immediately. If it was bad
news it was to be brought to him before the mother
was told.
There was a light burning in the cottage,
and the door was set wide open.
I went up to the door but I did not go in.
Ellen Mary was sitting in a high chair,
her hands clasped together, and she rocked continually
to and fro. She made no sound; she merely rocked
herself with a steady, regular persistence.
She did not see me standing at the
open door, and I moved quietly away.
As I walked over the Common-I
avoided the wood deliberately-I wondered
what was the human limit of endurance. I wondered
whether Ellen Mary had not reached that limit.
Mrs. Berridge had not gone to bed,
and there were some visitors in the kitchen.
I heard them talking. Mrs. Berridge came out when
I opened the front door.
“Any news, sir?” she asked.
“No; no news,” I said. I had been
about to ask her the same question.
V
I did not go to sleep for some time.
I had a picture of Ellen Mary before my eyes, and
I could still hear that steady pat, patter, drip, of
the rain on the beech leaves.
In the night I awoke suddenly, and
thought I heard a long, wailing cry out on the Common.
I got up and looked out of the window, but I could
see nothing. The rain was still falling, but there
was a blur of light that showed where the moon was
shining behind the clouds. The cry, if there
had been a cry, was not repeated.
I went back to bed and soon fell asleep again.
I do not know whether I had been dreaming,
but I woke suddenly with a presentation of the little
pond on the Common very clear before me.
“We never looked in the pond,”
I thought, and then-“but he could
not have fallen into the pond; besides, it’s
not two feet deep.”
It was full daylight, and I got up
and found that it was nearly seven o’clock.
The rain had stopped, but there was
a scurry of low, threatening cloud that blew up from
the south.
I dressed at once and went out.
I made my way directly to the Stotts’ cottage.
The lamp was still burning and the
door open, but Ellen Mary had fallen forward on to
the table; her head was pillowed on her arms.
“There is a limit to
our endurance,” I reflected, “and she has
reached it.”
I left her undisturbed.
Outside I met two of Farmer Bates’s labourers
going back to work.
“I want you to come up with me to the pond,”
I said.
VI
The pond was very full.
On the side from which we approached,
the ground sloped gradually, and the water was stretching
out far beyond its accustomed limits.
On the farther side the gorse among
the trunks of the three ash-trees came right to the
edge of the bank. On that side the bank was three
or four feet high.
We came to the edge of the pond, and
one of the labourers waded in a little way-the
water was very shallow on that side-but
we could see nothing for the scum of weed, little
spangles of dirty green, and a mass of some other
plant that had borne a little white flower in the earlier
part of the year-stuff like dwarf hemlock.
Under the farther bank, however, I
saw one comparatively clear space of black water.
“Let’s go round,” I said, and led
the way.
There was a tiny path which twisted
between the gorse roots and came out at the edge of
the farther bank by the stem of the tallest ash.
I had seen tiny village boys pretending to fish from
this point with a stick and a piece of string.
There was a dead branch of ash some five or six feet
long, with the twigs partly twisted off; it was lying
among the bushes. I remembered that I had seen
small boys using this branch to clear away the surface
weed. I picked it up and took it with me.
I wound one arm round the trunk of
the ash, and peered over into the water under the
bank.
I caught sight of something white
under the water. I could not see distinctly.
I thought it was a piece of broken ware-the
bottom of a basin. I had picked up the ash stick
and was going to probe the deeper water with it.
Then I saw that the dim white object was globular.
The end of my stick was actually in
the water. I withdrew it quickly, and threw it
behind me.
My heart began to throb painfully.
I turned my face away and leaned against the ash-tree.
“Can you see anythin’?”
asked one of the labourers who had come up behind
me.
“Oh! Christ!” I said.
I turned quickly from the pond and pressed a way through
the gorse.
I was overwhelmingly and disgustingly sick.
VII
By degrees the solid earth ceased
to wave and sway before me like a rolling heave of
water, and I looked up, pressing my hands to my head-my
hands were as cold as death.
My clothes were wet and muddy where
I had lain on the sodden ground. I got to my
feet and instinctively began to brush at the mud.
I was still a little giddy, and I
swayed and sought for support.
I could see the back of one labourer.
He was kneeling by the ash-tree bending right down
over the water. The other man was standing in
the pond, up to his waist in water and mud. I
could just see his head and shoulders....
I staggered away in the direction of the village.
VIII
I found Ellen Mary still sitting in
the same chair. The lamp was fluttering to extinction,
the flame leaping spasmodically, dying down till it
seemed that it had gone out, and then again suddenly
flickering up with little clicking bursts of flame.
The air reeked intolerably of paraffin.
I blew the lamp out and pushed it on one side.
There was no need to break the news
to Ellen Mary. She had known last night, and
now she was beyond the reach of information.
She sat upright in her chair and stared
out into the immensity. Her hands alone moved,
and they were not still for an instant. They lay
in her lap, and her fingers writhed and picked at
her dress.
I spoke to her once, but I knew that
her mind was beyond the reach of my words.
“It is just as well,”
I thought; “but we must get her away.”
I went out and called to the woman next door.
She was in her kitchen, but the door
was open. She came out when I knocked.
“Poor thing,” she said,
when I told her. “It ’as been
a shock, no doubt. She was so wrapped hup in
the boy.”
She could hardly have said less if
her neighbour had lost half-a-crown.
“Get her into your cottage before
they come,” I said harshly, and left her.
I wanted to get out of the lane before
the men came back, but I had hardly started before
I saw them coming.
They had made a chair of their arms,
and were carrying him between them. They had
not the least fear of him, now.
IX
The Harrison idiot suddenly jumped out of the hedge.
I put my hand to my throat. I
wanted to cry out, to stop him, but I could not move.
I felt sick again, and utterly weak and powerless,
and I could not take my gaze from that little doll
with the great drooping head that rolled as the men
walked.
I was reminded, disgustingly, of children with a guy.
The idiot ran shambling down the lane.
He knew the two men, who tolerated him and laughed
at him. He was not afraid of them nor their burden.
He came right up to them. I heard
one of the men say gruffly, “Now then, you cut
along off!”
I believe the idiot must have touched the dead body.
I was gripping my throat in my hand;
I was trying desperately to cry out.
Whether the idiot actually touched
the body or not I cannot say, but he must have realised
in his poor, bemused brain that the thing was dead.
He cried out with his horrible, inhuman
cry, turned, and ran up the lane towards me.
He fell on his face a few yards from me, scrambled
wildly to his feet again and came on yelping and shrieking.
He was wildly, horribly afraid. I caught sight
of his face as he passed me, and his mouth was distorted
into a square, his upper lip horribly drawn up over
his ragged, yellow teeth. Suddenly he dashed at
the hedge and clawed his way through. I heard
him still yelping appallingly as he rushed away across
the field....