Miss Ethel was walking up and down
the garden with Laura Temple, both talking.
“I heard Caroline practising
on the typewriter as I came through the hall.
The kitchen door was open,” said Laura.
“Yes. She goes out much
less now than she used to do. I fancy she has
broken off her engagement with that young man.”
“I’m glad Godfrey thought
of lending her a machine, for it may make her more
satisfied to remain with you; but I daresay that was
his idea,” said Laura. “He is like
that.”
“Is he?” said Miss Ethel
rather shortly, and added after a moment: “It
was very kind of him, of course.” She paused
again, then broke out vehemently: “I hate
and detest all this conciliating and kowtowing.
If only I could manage the work myself, I wouldn’t
do it.”
“But you can’t at
least, not in this house,” said Laura.
She also paused, looking deprecatingly at Miss Ethel.
“Now, in one of those little new houses in
Emerald Avenue, you might manage all right.”
“Oh, well, there are none to
let,” said Miss Ethel, “so that is out
of the question.”
“But there is one for sale,”
said Laura: and with that she put her hand through
her companion’s arm. “Miss Ethel,”
she went on rather timidly, “Godfrey was wondering
if anything would induce you to sell the Cottage.
He says he can get a most splendid price for it just
now, if you cared to sell. A man who made a
tremendous lot out of trawlers or something of that
sort in the war is ready to give almost anything you
like to ask for it. And Godfrey could offer you
a house in Emerald Avenue with vacant possession.
You would be quite comfortable there, besides having
so much less work.”
“Why didn’t Godfrey come
and tell me that himself, instead of sending you to
do his job?” said Miss Ethel. “But
his commercial instinct is his ruling passion, of
course. He’d make use of anything or anybody
for business purposes.” She waited a second,
then burst forth: “He’d tan his grandmother
if he could get a connection by selling her skin.”
“You do him a great injustice,”
said Laura indignantly. “If he did not
consider this a good thing for you, he would never
have suggested it.”
“Well, perhaps not,” responded
Miss Ethel, exercising great self-control; for she
remembered that Godfrey was a Wilson, while the girl
to whom she spoke was after all not one yet.
“I dare say he means it for the best.
But I’d rather starve here than live in Emerald
Avenue. Please tell him that. I’m
not so fond of my fellows that I could tolerate hearing
the next-door neighbour snore through the bedroom
wall which I understand you can do in these
houses, if he snores loud enough. I’m
used to a decent privacy.” She paused.
“I couldn’t stand it, Laura,” she
added in a different tone. “Let us talk
about something else. I want you to come indoors
and see your wedding present.”
Laura turned her brown eyes full upon
Miss Ethel, flushing a little and smiling happily.
She wore a rough tweed which exactly suited the slight
angularity and awkwardness of her tall figure, making
it seem just the kind of figure which every English
girl living in the country ought to possess, and her
voice, always lovely, took on an added sweetness as
she said quickly: “Doesn’t it seem
strange that a month to-day I shall be married?
I can hardly believe it.”
Miss Ethel responded to that rather
bleakly, but asked Laura to come and inspect some
china on the kitchen dresser from which she might
choose her wedding present.
As they entered the kitchen Caroline
answered Laura’s greeting civilly, but she did
not rise; and while the two stood looking at the pretty
Dresden china cups, with their backs turned towards
her, she continued her typing. Then after a
while Miss Ethel went away to fetch some small silver
teaspoons bearing the Wilson crest which she intended
to give with the cups, so Caroline and Laura were
left alone for a few minutes.
“I see you are practising hard,”
said Laura. “I hope the machine goes well.”
She glanced at the pretty cups. “I do
seem to be lucky, don’t I?”
“Yes. You’re one
of the lucky ones,” said Caroline. But
though she smiled, there was a sound of bitterness
in her tone which Laura was quick to feel and understand.
Poor child, it must seem a bit hard to see another
girl having a lover like Godfrey, and lovely presents,
and new clothes. Then a sudden kind thought
came into her head. “Miss Raby, I wonder
if you would care to have a look at my trousseau?
I am showing it to my friends next week. Could
you come in for half an hour?”
Caroline hesitated, but the “Miss
Raby,” and the utter absence of patronage, or
of any other feeling but sheer good-nature, dispersed
her prickly fear of being condescended to, though
she only answered rather nonchalantly: “Thank
you, Miss Temple, I should be pleased to have a look
at your things.”
“That’s right. What
day can you come?” said Laura. “Will
Tuesday do?”
“I am on duty all day next week,
excepting for meal-times, but I could get in for a
few minutes about five,” said Caroline.
Very soon after that Laura went away,
and a little later, Miss Ethel herself came out of
the door, walking slowly across the garden because
she did not yet feel at all well. As she went,
she noticed for the first time a little flag flying
on the roof-beams of the new house that was being
built just over the privet hedge. It flapped
gaily in the sea-breeze, and seemed to Miss Ethel’s
irritated perceptions an impudent flag, though she
did not formulate her thoughts and was conscious only
of a sense of annoyance when she caught sight of the
bright patch of colour.
As she glanced up the long hot road
outside the garden, her heart almost failed her:
but she had collected for the Flodmouth hospital for
the past twenty-five years, and a strong sense of duty
urged her to continue especially now that
the people from whom she generally collected were
less able to give, and more houses had to be visited.
But she was not uplifted by any feeling of self-righteousness,
because it was just one of the things you did and
there was an end of it. It was a part of the
system of life on which she had been brought up.
Half-way between the Cottage and Emerald
Avenue she saw the Vicar on the other side of the
road. His first impulse was to hasten past without
speaking, because he had grown rather weary of her
constant diatribes against the changed state of the
world; for he too had his full share of the discomforts
which come from living in an age of transition, so
he felt no desire to hear Miss Ethel press the point
home. However, she had been ill and he must do
the polite. But as he expected, she at once
began. In answer to his inquiries about her
health, she said abruptly: “Of course, I’m
depressed. How can one be anything else with
the world as it is? Nobody seems to be happy
here, or to be sure of happiness hereafter.”
“You won’t mend it by
being miserable,” said the Vicar, rubbing his
lean chin. “I know many feel that it is
wrong to be happy with so much injustice and misery
about, and there is a great danger that the best souls who
feel this most may therefore give up creating
happiness. But that is just the same as if the
violets gave up smelling sweet because of the stenches
that abound everywhere. Joy after a while will
leave us if we are not careful then we shall
have nothing left but bitterness and pleasure.”
“Pleasure is all people want nowadays,”
said Miss Ethel.
“But you are one of the people and
what do you want?” said the Vicar. “No,
Miss Ethel; there are now more men and women in the
world wanting to make things right for everybody than
ever before in the history of mankind. I sometimes
feel as though I could see all the millions just waiting
to be shown how to do it. One wonders”
He broke off, flushing a little, and added rather
awkwardly: “Well, I must be getting on.
I’m glad to hear you are better.”
Miss Ethel continued her walk, pondering
the Vicar’s words. Was the man thinking
about the second coming of Christ? . . . And
she remembered how a nursemaid had read some magazine
aloud to her long, long ago by the nursery fire in
which the very day and hour of the end of the world
were given. How she had trembled afterwards at
the tipping of a load of bricks in the road forbear
that was the Day of Judgment beginning. Then
her thoughts came back again to the present.
Was it true that all these millions were waiting for
a leader? Faith seemed to be dying everywhere.
Everything was different everything was
different.
The words drifted achingly through
her mind as she turned into the gate of a largish
house facing the main road, opening her collecting-book
as she went, so as to be ready with the name and amount.
At once she began to adjust her mind, ready for the
short chat with the lady of the house which was a
necessary accompaniment of her round.
But it would be easier than usual
to-day, for a topic was ready to hand most
of the ladies on whom she called taking a lively interest
in the Temple-Wilson wedding, anxious to know if Miss
Ethel had seen the bride lately, and if it were true
that the trousseau surpassed all previous ones ever
seen in Thorhaven.
This interest was so widespread, indeed,
that on Tuesday afternoon when Caroline remarked just
before leaving the pay-box on the promenade that she
was going to have a look at Miss Temple’s wedding
outfit, the girl who took her place immediately went
through varying stages of surprise, curiosity and
envy. “She asked you! Well, you’ve
got something out of living with those old women for
once. I wish I was going too!”
“Wish you were!” called
back Caroline, insincerely. But as she went
alone down the road to the little house at the other
end of the village, her own desire to see the trousseau
died away, so that when she stood on the threshold
looking through at the patch of bright garden through
the farther door, she began to wish she had not come.
As she stood there, Laura came from the garden, in
which the colours were less delicate, more vivid than
before, but they still bloomed with the peculiar,
clear brightness which flowers seem to gain which have
survived the sharp spring of the East Coast.
“Oh! I am so glad you
could get off, Miss Raby,” she said. “Shall
we go straight up and see the things before tea?”
“I was going home to tea,”
murmured Caroline, a little abashed, yet angry with
herself for feeling so.
“You would not have time,”
said Laura, leading the way. “Please stay.
I was expecting you for tea.”
Then they were in the room: and
Caroline drew a long breath when she saw the lovely
garments spread forth on the bed and on the chairs
and tables. They were so exquisite in stitchery
and in the fineness of the material, that no girl
who loved pretty things could look at them without
enjoyment; therefore Caroline’s “Oh, Miss
Temple, I never, never saw anything so lovely!”
was entirely natural and spontaneous.
Laura stood smiling and a little flushed
in the midst of her dainty garments; and the room
seemed at that moment to be full of a very charming
atmosphere of girlish admiration and pleasure.
One after another the filmy things were touched softly
or held up to the light, while the two pairs of eyes one
pair deeply glowing and the other wide and bright met
over them in sympathetic appreciation.
“But this is the sweetest of
all,” said Laura happily. She was delighted
to be giving pleasure, but beneath that she
equally enjoyed indulging her desire to be liked by
everybody. As she spoke she lifted from the
bed where it lay a most exquisitely embroidered dressing-gown
with a little cap to match.
“Yes, lovely,” said Caroline.
But the alteration in her tone was so marked and
so sudden that Laura turned round quite sharply to
see what the matter was: and in so doing she
caught something clouded sullen what
was it? just passing across the other girl’s
face. Why, of course how dreadfully
hard to see somebody else having all these beautiful
things while you had nothing! Her sudden realization
of this point of view was so complete that she flushed
deeply from chin to forehead. What a perfect
idiot she had been when she only meant
to be kind.
All the same she was now mistaken;
that change in Caroline’s expression being caused
by something entirely different from what she imagined
herself to have discovered; and she would have been
both startled and surprised had she known the actual
fact. As it was, her one desire was to somehow
retrieve her mistake. She looked at her pretty
things, trying eagerly to think of something that
she could give without seeming to patronize, and her
glance fell on a box of coloured handkerchiefs, so
she took it up in her hand and said carelessly:
“Oh! these don’t belong here. A
firm from whom I bought a great many things sent me
them, and they are a kind I never use. Still
I had to keep them. I wonder if you would take
them with you out of the way?”
“Very kind I’m
sure. But you’ll find a use for them,”
murmured Caroline, not extending her hand. The
two girls looked away from each other, both a little
discomfited; and in doing so they saw a photograph
of Wilson in a silver frame which had been covered
up and which the removal of the handkerchiefs had
left exposed.
In that brief silence the atmosphere
subtly changed, though neither exactly realized that
it had done so.
“Well, I’m afraid I must
be going now, Miss Temple,” said Caroline.
“Thank you very much indeed for letting me see
your things.” And she moved towards the
door.
“You are forgetting your handkerchiefs,”
said Laura, pressing them into Caroline’s hand.
“Do have them, just to please me. But
you must have a cup of tea before you go. It
is all ready.”
With that she led the way into the
sitting-room, and Caroline lacked the social address
to disentangle herself from the situation without
being actually rude. She did not want to be that,
therefore followed Laura, and as they went into the
room Wilson rose from a seat by the window.
But his heavy figure was silhouetted with a sort of
hazy, golden outline against the strong afternoon
light, and so she could not see his expression.
“Been viewing the marvels upstairs,
Miss Raby?” he said easily, as she shook hands
with Miss Panton. “Take this comfortable
chair, won’t you? It must be an exhausting
job.”
“No, have this; you’ll
find it much nicer,” said Laura, laughing.
But as they stood together, making much of Caroline,
she saw that the chair Wilson had indicated was evidently
one sacred to himself. The long, low seat, and
the small table near containing cigarettes, ash-trays,
pipes, and other conveniences, all pointed to the same
care on the part of these two women.
Caroline sat down on the chair offered
by Laura and crossed her feet with aggressive nonchalance
because she was feeling nervous. “Anyway,
this is a good deal different to mine on the prom.,”
she said, suddenly anxious to let Miss Panton clearly
understand that she was the girl on the promenade,
and not Miss Wilson’s servant.
Miss Panton looked at her over the
teacups and said: “Sugar? Bilk?”
with the catarrh very much in evidence.
“I didn’t tell you, Miss
Raby, did I, that Miss Panton has given me a foot-muff
for the car?” said Laura, speaking rather quickly,
conscious of some odd constraint in the air.
“We are going for a motor tour in the Lake
District for our honeymoon. Every one says it
is ideal in September. I have never been, oddly
enough.”
“Well, the glut of honeymooning
couples in the Lakes is now a thing of the past,”
said Wilson, smiling at his future bride. “There
was a time when a certain hotel at Windermere swarmed
with them, I believe. Everybody looking out of
their eye-corners at breakfast time to see if she
knew how many lumps of sugar he took in his coffee.”
Miss Panton murmured something about
Wordsworth, obviously thinking that a more fitting
topic to be discussed before a young person who was
taking tea on sufferance with her betters.
“Perhaps Miss Raby is like me,
and doesn’t care much for Wordsworth,”
said Laura, looking across at her guest in a very friendly
fashion. “I never got beyond ‘We
are seven,’ and never wanted to.”
“It’s never too late to
bend,” retorted Miss Panton, still austere; her
glance resting with deep disapproval upon the neatly
stockinged leg which Caroline displayed.
“Come, Nanty,” said Laura,
laughing. “Don’t be so superior.
You know you don’t really care for anything
but a love-story with a happy ending yourself.”
She paused, looking round at them with her happy,
brown eyes: “Well, there isn’t anything
better: is there?”
“Of course not,” said
Wilson, just touching Laura’s shoulder as he
passed her in handing the cake to Caroline. But
as he did so his glance met Caroline’s by chance,
and he became instantly aware that she had been watching
him, for she looked hastily away, while a colour which
she could not control came into her cheeks, deepening
and deepening until it almost brought tears to her
eyes.
She sat near the window with the full
light on her face, somehow oddly defenceless in her
extreme embarrassment, and he could see the light
powdering of freckles on her nose, as well as that
curious, camellia-petal fineness of skin which always
escaped notice until the observer came quite close,
for there was a tinge of sallowness in the colour
which prevented people from admiring it at first sight.
But a decent man who is to be married
in a month does not, of course, indulge in speculations
about another girl’s complexion at
any rate, he does not encourage himself in doing so and
very soon Caroline removed temptation out of his way
by rising and taking her leave.
As she said good-bye, the lovers stood
in the doorway with the sunshine on their faces and
the bright flowers seen through the far door behind
them. She was glad to get away, her mind in a
whirl of gratitude, defiance, curiosity and envy which
bewildered herself. Of course, it was nice of
Miss Temple to ask her to tea and treat her like any
other girl friend, but anybody could be nice when
they were getting everything in the whole world that
they could want. . . . Her thoughts paused on
that. That didn’t always make people kind
She started at the sound of the church
clock and began to run, lest she should be late for
the promenade.
But when she arrived her budget of
news proved very disappointing to the expectant Lillie,
who had lingered round the pay-box with her own tea
waiting at home in the hope of hearing in more detail
what every separate garment was like. But when
she at length extracted the information that Wilson
was also there, and that the party had taken afternoon
tea together, her curiosity became intense.
“Did they look as if they were
awfully gone on each other? I always thinks
she seems sweet, and I think he ought to consider himself
lucky, don’t you? I say, fancy if you
or I were in her place and going to be married next
month? Feel funny, wouldn’t it? But
I shouldn’t care much to be taking him on, should
you? Too jolly cocksure for me.”
“Chance is a bonny thing,”
said Caroline shortly. “I’ll shut
the door if you don’t mind. There’s
a fearful draught blows through this place with it
open.”
The girl went round to the turnstile
on her way out and addressed a last remark to Caroline
through the little window. “You needn’t
be chippy with me because you haven’t got twelve
of everything all hand-embroidered. It isn’t
my fault!” she flung over her shoulder.
And having thus revenged herself for
her colleague’s uncommunicativeness, she went
her way.
Caroline, left alone in her chair
before the little window, automatically scanned the
faces of those passing through the barrier, ready
to release the clutch with a “Good evening”
if the person were known to her, or to say in a dull
monotone, “Six-pence, please,” to a stranger.
Every now and then she glanced at the darkening sky
towards the North where clouds were gathering up,
and after a while, single drops of rain began to fall.
Very soon the empty promenade glittered black under
a downpour, the lights making streaks of pale gold
across it. People only came in now at infrequent
intervals; a few dark figures hurried along the promenade;
while the sound of the band in the covered hall drifted
across through the open windows, mingling with the
deep voice of a storm rising far out at sea.
After a while Wilf passed through,
ostentatiously indifferent. “Oh, that
you, Carrie? Good evening, I didn’t see
it was you at first. Beastly night, isn’t
it?” And he went on jauntily, sticking his hands
in the pockets of his mackintosh.
Caroline watched him go with a most
illogical sense of being deserted; then the turnstile
clicked and she had to release the clutch, letting
through a pleasant-looking mother with a daughter of
about seventeen, both so happy in each other’s
company making a lark of coming out together
to hear the band on such a wet night. Caroline’s
unreasonable feeling of being alone and deserted deepened.
For the first time in years, she consciously wanted
her own mother longed for her with an ache
of the heart that almost brought tears. She seemed
so alone. Aunt Creddle was goodness itself, but
had her own family to think of first, of course, and
could no longer take quite such a vivid interest in
a niece as when her own children were quite little.
Uncle Creddle had a steady kindness which nothing
could change, but he too was a struggling man with
a family. Besides, he was rather hard in some
ways beneath his good-nature. She still remembered
how he had spoken to her that evening when he found
her screaming and playing about those empty houses
with the boys.
No, she belonged nowhere: that
was it. She did not think as the Creddles did
about lots of things, and yet she did not belong to
the world which girls like Miss Laura Temple lived
in, either. She had got past one sort, and had
not found another. All these thoughts passed
confusedly through a mind that had been quickened by
something incomprehensible in her experiences at Laura
Temple’s that afternoon. Through her thoughts
she heard the hum of the sea, the tinkling fall of
heavy rain on asphalt, the faint rising and falling
of violin music.
She felt a sudden spirit of rebellion. Why shouldnt
she have some fun? She would enjoy herself! She wasnt going to go
on like this, letting people in to the promenade, doing housework, practising
typewriting. Why did some girls get everything, like Laura Temple, and
others nothing? It was not fair. It was not fair
Then she saw Wilson at the little
window. “Good evening. Stormy night!”
he said, and passed through without any further remark.
She knew he had come straight from
Laura’s and was taking a short cut across the
parade to his own lodgings, which were beyond the exit
towards the north. He had come from no desire
to see her. Still he might have spoken a word:
he need not have gone through like that, as if it
were only Lillie working the turnstile.
As she thought that, she felt a tear
on her lips. Licking it off, she demanded furiously
of herself how she could be such a fool as to cry
about nothing. She must be run down. She
must want a tonic.
Then she glanced up at the sound of
a step approaching from the promenade, and there was
Wilson’s face, quite near, looking in at her
little window. “You’ll have a wet
walk home, I’m afraid,” he said.
“Yes.” Her voice
held a faint surprise, for he had already spoken once
about the weather. “But I have an umbrella
here.”
“That’s a good thing.”
He hesitated. “I might have lent you one,
only it is rather large for a little girl,”
he added, speaking with a sort of artificial jocosity.
“You must find that road rather dark and lonely
on a night like this?” He paused again.
“Don’t you?”
For a moment or two she did not speak,
and that silence somehow gave her answer an undue
significance. “Yes,” she said at
last.
He opened his lips to speak, then
suddenly his expression changed and he moved away
from the window. “Wretched night!
Wretched night!” he said, walking briskly on.
Caroline sat back in her chair, almost
feeling as if she had been struck in the face for
a question had been asked and answered during that
silence which involved all sorts of joys, fears, infidelities;
then in a minute he banished them so utterly that she
could scarcely believe they had ever been in question.
The next moment Mr. and Mrs. Graham
were at the window. “Oh, dreadful night,
is it not? You must feel the wind here.”
Then they were merged into the shadow
of the hall, warning each other as they went along
against taking cold. Caroline saw what had happened
now. Wilson had no doubt caught sight of the
Grahams over his shoulder, and had not wished them
to see him talking to her.
Very well! she was in a
flame from head to foot very well!
When he did want
But beneath all that she sensed a
weak longing for him which she was trying to drown
in a flood of exaggerated indignation. Something
told her that when he did want to speak to her again
she would not be able to refuse: for he was not
only a man for whom she felt a personal attraction,
but he was also a type towards which all her new ambitions
aspired. Poised as she now was, between what
she had left and where she desired to be, he represented
to her an ideal assured, educated, a gentleman.
But though he did not walk home with
her in spite of what he said of the lonely
road she was not to go by herself after
all. For a young man who was a connection of
the Creddles a railway porter by trade chanced
to pass just as she was leaving the promenade, and
escorted her as far as the gate of the Cottage.
He was a good-looking, intelligent youth, with a
pleasant, hearty manner and a fair share of those
solid qualities which adorned Mr. Creddle the
very man to make a good father and a good husband.
Already attracted by Caroline, he would have gone
further that night if he had not been discouraged,
but she thought of his broken and blackened finger-nails,
and of the noise he made when he drank tea, and so
they parted at the gate without anything definite
being said.
But as she ran up the garden path
with her self-esteem thus agreeably restored, she
had not the faintest idea that she had just passed
by that rarest thing in life a chance of
real happiness.