Godfrey Wilson waited until Mr. Graham
had departed, then strolled slowly along the promenade
towards Caroline. He had no real objection to
anyone knowing that he spoke to her, but preferred
to say a necessary word or two about the type-writing
machine when Miss Ethel and her party were not there.
This is what he told himself as he went along the
path to the place where she stood with another girl,
watching the dancing.
All the same it was something deeper
than argument which informed his movements something
stronger than common sense. It was a stirring
of the insatiable curiosity of the human being who
has begun to be sexually interested in another.
Though not exactly coarse-fibred, he was so far removed
from anything attenuated as almost to be so.
He only thought of himself.
He wanted to know what she was thinking
of him, whether she liked him more or less than when
they last met. And yet in spite of that he believed
himself to be quite honest when he assured his conscience
that he only wanted to say something about a paper
carrier which had not worked well. For instinct
is such a wonderful hand at camouflage that he believed
quite honestly despite previous experience that
he wanted nothing more. For the most wonderful
thing about this kind of deception is that the same
old trick may seem new time after time. Just
as a healthy woman forgets what she has gone through
on having her child, so a very virile man will forget in
a way what he has experienced in pursuit
of a girl.
At any rate, Godfrey Wilson was not
at all conscious of going over old ground; though
when he approached Caroline saying rather formally,
“Good evening, Miss Raby. I just wanted
to ask you if that paper carrier was working satisfactorily
now” he could not quite ignore
the suggestion of a giggle in the attitude of Caroline’s
companion, who moved away at once with some murmur
about finding a cousin. The “Two’s
company and three’s none!” in her tone
spoke as plainly as that. Wilson felt annoyed
by it.
“Oh well, that was all I wanted
to know,” he said when she had given the information,
and he spoke rather loudly and distinctly, so that
anyone near might hear.
But as Caroline at once moved away
to follow her friend, he suddenly felt that he wanted
to say something more.
“The Gala has not been a very
gay affair, has it? Nearly over now, though,”
he said.
She stood still again and they both
glanced up and down the long promenade, which was
fast emptying: just then a heavy cloud sailed
across the moon, obscuring everything but those islands
of light near the gas-lamps. The little coloured
globes were by now more than half blown out, while
the rest flickered uncertainly, accentuating the windy
darkness. It was the last dance, and the band
played very quickly. The few couples left were
mostly men and girls more or less in love with each
other who wanted to spin out the happy hours.
“Come!” said Wilson, putting
his arm round Caroline’s waist, on the impulse
of the moment. “Let’s dance these
last few bars. It is all over.”
All over It was
curious how the words echoed in his own mind as he
circled round faster and faster. He would not
be dancing with little girls on the Thorhaven promenade
any more after to-night. He would be a married
man when the next Gala took place ranged,
respected; and though he felt a deep affection for
Laura, he knew it was not on that altar alone that
he had sacrificed his freedom. His wife’s
fortune would also just lift him above the dead-level
where opportunities are very few, into the region
where a clever and enterprising man with ambition
is certain to find many; but he was sufficiently fond
of Laura to make the prospect of matrimony with her
agreeable, though he was not what is called a marrying
man.
But a bridegroom of his type is bound
to have regrets, unless in the thrall of an engrossing
passion; and to-night Wilson felt these misgivings
more acutely than he had done since his engagement perhaps
because the loss of bachelor freedom was getting so
near. Therefore his dance with Caroline though
such a trivial matter in itself was not
simply a dance, but a last fling: and he felt
a ridiculous desire to call out to the band to go
on when he heard them stopping, so as to prolong something
in his own life which he knew to be nearly at an end.
He did not do so, of course; and the
performers at once began to pack up, thankfully looking
forward to warmth and bed. Wilson and Caroline
chanced to stop dancing near the turnstile leading
on to the cliff, so they went out that way, which
was near his lodgings, and equally convenient for
her to reach the Cottage. One or two couples
passed out just before them, but Caroline and Wilson
were the last, and when they stepped into the clayey
ground at the beginning of the cliff path, they seemed
to plunge all at once into absolute darkness.
“Careful!” cried Wilson
sharply. “You’ll be over the cliff
in a minute, if you don’t look out.”
And he put his hand through her arm.
The sea gleamed very faintly under
the black sky as they turned their backs on it and
walked cautiously along the uneven path leading to
the main road. At the corner she stood still
and withdrew her arm. “I can manage all
right now. It was so dark under the shadow of
that wall. Good night.”
“Oh no. I can’t
let you go home alone. You would be walking into
a fence or spraining your ankle over a stone heap
before you got to the Cottage,” he answered.
“Come on.” And he took her arm again.
“There! You see you are stumbling already.”
She had trodden carelessly, disturbed
by his touch, and she felt his grasp strengthen then
felt some instinct in herself fighting against it.
“No. I’ll go alone. I can
quite well. I’d rather. I hate bringing
you so far out of your way.” She spoke
in short phrases, nervously.
“Of course, I can’t let
you walk home by yourself in this,” he said,
his assurance somehow increased by her fluttering nervousness.
“Don’t be a silly girl. What are
a few hundred yards to me one way or another?”
“Oh well!” Caroline suddenly
gave way, feeling she had been making ridiculously
too much of it. “Must be after eleven,”
she murmured. “The Committee extended the
time to eleven. I expect they’ll wish they
hadn’t, when it was such a cold night.”
“I suppose they’ve been
out after eleven before.” But she knew
by his tone he was not thinking of what he was saying.
All that they had really to say to each other seemed
to be passing through the electric current which passed
between his strong, warm fingers and the tingling
flesh of her arm though they actually did
discourse about Mr. Graham, and the balloons, and
the financial disappointment which the Gala must have
been to the Committee.
But near the gate of the Cottage Caroline
resolutely withdrew her arm. “Please don’t
come up the drive. I’d rather you didn’t.
Good night!” She spoke in a low voice, hurriedly.
“Sure you’re all right?” he said.
“Yes. Yes. Good night,” she
repeated.
He let her go a few steps, then she
suddenly felt an arm of iron about her, the brief
touch of his lips on her cheek heard his
voice saying with a queer accent of triumph:
“I knew it would be like that!”
He was gone, leaving her standing
there. He had satisfied the urge of a burning
curiosity which had assailed him first as she sat in
the window of Laura’s drawing-room, and he noticed
the magnolia texture of her healthy pallor and the
little golden powdering of freckles on her nose.
He had fought against that recollection. He
had been ashamed to have begun it there. Now
as he strode away into the dark he swore to himself
that he was satisfied; he would never let himself go
again; that he would be faithful to Laura in thought
and deed.
As for Caroline well, he
remembered that she had walked out with a young man
named Wilf; probably with others before that.
A kiss more or less was not a serious thing to a
girl of that sort; though he felt sorry, all the same,
that he had been betrayed into giving it.
Caroline made her way up the dark
drive, and on reaching the door she felt in her coat
pocket for the latch-key. It was not there.
Then she sought hastily in her other pocket and could
not find it. Evidently she had dropped it on
the road somewhere, but no one could see a small article
like that now, even if it lay on the pathway.
Well, there was nothing for it but
to knock at the door. She looked up at the house
which loomed above her, a dark block with faintly gleaming
windows, and the thud, thud, made by her knuckles seemed
extraordinarily loud. But the stillness which
followed seemed intense seemed only to
be accentuated by the heavy sound of the sea which
she never consciously heard in the daytime, any more
than Miss Ethel or the other Thorhaven people.
After a while she knocked again, but
the house still lay quiet with the peculiar
deadness about it of houses seen from the outside when
those within are all asleep. In the room just
above the front door Miss Ethel was deep in the first
stupid slumber of exhaustion produced by a long day’s
work and the evening walk in a high wind. She
was so tired that she had ceased some time ago to
lie awake and listen for Caroline coming in, though
she felt it was her duty to do so. But nearly
every night now she went to bed early and lay like
a log, not caring about anything more until the morning.
If the world came to an end, she must go to bed she
could no more.
Caroline down below stood hesitating
whether to throw a stone up or not, but remembered
that Mrs. Bradford was so timid that she always covered
up her ears with the blanket for fear of hearing burglars
in the night priding herself indeed on
this timidity, and telling people that when you once
had had a husband you lost your nerve for sleeping
alone. So Caroline knew there was no help to
be had in that quarter, and yet she did not like to
startle Miss Ethel after that fall among the half-built
houses which had been more than an ordinary faint,
though no one made anything of it.
However, she knocked again on the
door, blows that seemed to echo through the whole
of Thorhaven. She glanced nervously over her
shoulder, picturing the male inhabitants of Emerald
Avenue and Cornelian Crescent and Sapphire Terrace,
hastily flinging on trousers and boots to see what
the matter was, while their wives made shrill-voiced
ejaculations from the bed. She saw it all quite
plainly on the darkness as the noise reverberated
through the still night. Suddenly she lost her
nerve. That kiss at the gate still hovered in
the back of her consciousness, waiting for a fuller
realization; but it had left her fluttering and tingling
with emotion, so that she was less mistress of herself
than usual.
Not that she had not been kissed before,
and by others besides Wilf; but it had never been
like this, because now for the first time a kiss woke
a response which bewildered her. She began to
cry.
Then she tried to pull herself together. After all, it
could not be very late. What an idiot to be standing there crying, when
Aunt Creddle lived only a ten minutes walk away! Of course she could go
and stay the night there. Very likely Aunt Creddle might be still up, for
she took in washing for one or two people, and sometimes did the ironing after
the children were in bed
Caroline gave a sob of relief as she
got to this, and turning her back on the house she
began to run stumbling down the drive. When she
reached the open road and was free from the heavy shadow
of the privet hedge, she felt her self-confidence
gradually coming back to her.
All the houses in Emerald Avenue were
in darkness, but on nearing the Creddles she saw a
little glimmer of light through the glass pane of
the front door. It was as she had hoped, for
in response to her knock, Mrs. Creddle herself unchained
the door and peered out into the dark. “Is
that somebody from Mrs. White’s?” she asked.
“I thought she wasn’t expecting until
next week at the” The good
woman broke off suddenly and her voice went up several
notes: “You, Caroline!”
“Yes. I lost my latch-key
and I can’t make them hear. I was afraid
I should startle Miss Ethel if I threw anything up
at her window,” said Caroline, speaking quickly.
“I didn’t know if it might give her a
turn, after that fall of hers. And you can’t
waken Mrs. Bradford. She wraps her head up in
her petticoat and sleeps like the dead.”
“Well, it’s a lucky thing
I happened to be up finishing the ironing,”
said Mrs. Creddle. “Your uncle wouldn’t
have liked it if you’d come hammering at our
door and letting the whole street know you were locked
out.”
“I didn’t lose the key
on purpose,” said Caroline rather sullenly, as
she followed her aunt into the warm, light kitchen.
“I couldn’t help it.”
“What made you so late in?”
said Mrs. Creddle. “Here, sit you down
and I’ll get you a drink of cocoa. Girls
never used to be having latch-keys and careering about
at all hours in my day.”
“But it isn’t your day
now, thank goodness!” said Caroline, who was
feeling excited and irritable. “I had a
dance on the green after I came off duty, that was
all.”
“Prom’s been closed a
long time,” said Mrs. Creddle. “I
heard the next-door folks come back. But we
was all young once, and I dare say you and Wilf have
been kissing and making friends again on the way home.
Is that it?”
For some obscure reason this question
angered Caroline almost beyond bearing.
“I told you I’d done with
Wilf, and I have,” she said rather hysterically.
“I wouldn’t let him kiss me now for anything
on earth. I don’t know how I ever could
fancy him. I
“Hush!” said Mrs. Creddle,
glancing towards the stairs. “There’s
your uncle moving. I’m afraid he won’t
be best pleased to see you here, Carrie. And
he would have pickle for his tea, though I told him
not, so he’s a bit fretty to start with.”
Before she had finished speaking Mr.
Creddle was upon them, hastily dressed in night-shirt
and trousers. “Now, what’s all this?”
he said, and his tone certainly did betray the effect
of cheap vinegar on a weak digestion.
So Mrs. Creddle explained matters
while Caroline stood listening.
“Who came home with you?”
said Creddle, turning with a dark face towards the
two women. “I saw the bills. Dancing
was over a good bit since. Who brought you home?”
“That’s my business,” she answered,
pale and obstinate.
“Is it? Well, it’s
my business to take you back to your place,”
he said. Then he went on, raising his voice:
“Do you think I’m going to have a niece
of mine that I’ve brought up like
my own stopping out all night? The
lasses in my family and in your aunt’s family,
too, have always been respectable and you
will be an’ all, so long as I have anything
to do with you.”
“I’m not going back to
the Cottage to-night, though. I’m going
to stop here and sleep on the sofa,” said Caroline
defiantly.
“Hush, Carrie,” pleaded
Mrs. Creddle anxiously. “That isn’t
the way to speak to your uncle, you know. He
only means it for your good.”
Mr. Creddle reached for his boots.
“I won’t have her stop out all night,”
he repeated. “What would your mother ha’
thought if you’d done such a thing when you
were in service?”
“Only I aren’t
in service like aunt was,” answered Caroline,
getting excited again. “Things are quite
different from what they used to be then. You
can’t judge by what went on when you were young,
can he, aunt?”
But Mrs. Creddle only shook her head;
for somehow those words “stopped out all night”
came echoing on from her youth and she felt the force
of tradition at this moment no less than her husband.
Always that phrase had conveyed something derogatory
concerning the girl about whom it was used; and never
would she or her sister Ellen have earned it while
they were in service for any earthly consideration.
She was still faithful to all the traditions of that
skilled trade to which she had served a long apprenticeship,
and which is one of the most intricate and difficult
in the world. For a mass of oral knowledge handed
down from one to another accuracy, intelligence,
self-control, a very high standard of personal chastity these
things formed only a part of the equipment of Caroline’s
aunts when they were young, and such girls as they
formed an unorganized guild of service which can never
be excelled in England, whatever comes. They
were the best maid-servants in the world, and they
did not know it. But they had a great pride in
themselves, if not in their fine calling, and Mrs.
Creddle felt this stir within her as she listened
to her husband.
“Your uncle’s right,”
she said. “Maybe other people will get
to know you lost your key, and they mightn’t
believe you. You wouldn’t like it to get
about that you’d stopped out all night.”
“I shouldn’t care.
I know I’ve done nothing wrong,” said
Caroline, beginning to take off her hat.
“Now, my lass!” said Creddle
grimly, as he finished lacing his boots, “you’re
coming with me. Don’t let’s have
no nonsense!”
“I tell you, I’m not coming,”
said Caroline, pale about the lips and trembling a
little.
“Come! Come! Carrie,”
said Mrs. Creddle, beginning to cry. “Don’t
anger your uncle. He’s that wore out he
didn’t know where to put himself when he got
home to-night, and yet here he is with his boots on
ready to take you back to your place. And he’s
always treated you like his own, and so have I, so
far as I know how. Many’s the little treat
we’ve gone without, and never grudged it, so
as to bring you up nice; and this is how you pay us
back.”
“Oh, aunt, I know you have,”
said Caroline, and her eyes filled, though they had
been hard and dry a minute before. “I do
know how good you and uncle have been. Only
I won’t be taken back as if I were a little
trapesing general that had been misbehaving herself.
I can’t!”
“There’s no talk of misbehaving,”
said Creddle. “And I aren’t going
to have any. You get your hat on and come with
me.”
Caroline’s face stiffened; then
she felt the touch of Mrs. Creddle’s roughened,
kind hand on her arm, and saw that jolly face puckered
with crying which had smiled a welcome on her all
her life. She gave a great gulp and walked to
the door, Creddle following her.
For she belonged poor Caroline to
the company of those who can really love, and they
are always liable to give way suddenly when fighting
those they love, because they cannot bear to see the
pain.