Miss Ethel came into the kitchen as
Caroline finished washing up the breakfast things.
There was a constrained atmosphere about both of
them which seemed even to affect the small fire which
burnt sulkily in the grate, but nothing was said concerning
the events of the previous night.
“Oh! Caroline, I wonder
if you would kindly take a message for me to Miss
Temple on your way to the promenade?” said Miss
Ethel, rather stiffly.
But on the whole the affair of the
previous night had been less odious than Caroline
had feared. Still it had been rather like an
ugly nightmare, all the same Uncle Creddle
banging on the door until one startled woman opened
it while the other peered over the banisters.
They had thanked Mr. Creddle, saying Caroline ought
to be more careful: and Mrs. Bradford added that
some burglar had no doubt picked up the key and would
come and murder them in their beds. But there
the matter ended.
Now, however, with the mention of
Laura’s name, the recollection of that kiss
at the gate last night sprang up from some deep place
within Caroline’s consciousness and overwhelmed
everything else. She could not go to Laura’s
door and perhaps be obliged to answer kind words and
pleasant looks; she could not do it. “I’m
sorry, Miss Ethel,” she muttered, bending over
the washing-bowl, “but there’s not time.”
Miss Ethel glanced at the clock and
saw that there was time; but she could not insist,
and so thought it more dignified to go away without
making any remark. Still she felt irritated to
an unreasonable degree, for her disturbed night had
left her tired and nervous.
A few minutes later Caroline went
out. There had been a change in the wind, which
now blew lustily from the north-east, and the sun was
shining. As she came down the street leading
to the promenade, the surface of her mind responded
to the pricking liveliness of the salt air and the
sight of the open sea in front of her. A heavy
rain towards dawn had washed down mud from the cliffs
which the high tide had carried away, so now the water
was a milky dun-colour, scattered with millions of
opal lights, answering more closely just then to the
thought of a jewelled sea than even the sparkling sapphire
Mediterranean.
A middle-aged visitor who had passed
constantly in and out through the barrier and knew
Caroline by sight, gave her a sprightly “Good
morning” as he went through. “Most
invigorating! Most invigorating!”
“Yes. Makes you feel as
if you could jump over the moon, doesn’t it?”
said Caroline gaily that surface mind responding
to his brisk jollity.
“Ha! Ha! So long
as you haven’t a liver to weigh you down,”
jested the rosy-faced gentleman. Then he stepped
away down the promenade, well pleased with himself
and his surroundings, and feeling that he was not
such an old dog yet, so long as he could enjoy a joke
with a girl on the promenade.
Caroline looked after him with a smile
which gradually faded from her lips as the slight
stimulation from without ceased to act. For beneath
it all there was something inside, deep down within
her, which was not to be touched by the influences
of sea air or sunshine something that watched
anxiously and doggedly for one thing and would heed
no other.
But the people came and went came
and went until her knee ached with the
clutch and her whole being with watching. . . .
And still the one man she was looking for never put
his broad-palmed, long-fingered hand on the iron bar
or turned his heavy-featured face towards her little
window.
She kept telling herself that she
was tired after last night, so as to explain the ache,
but her little, pale face was looking pinched in the
light from the sea when Laura Temple paused at the
barrier to say a few words. The two girls spoke
to each other through the little window; one smiling,
the other rather grave and reluctant. They talked
a moment or two of trivial things the weather,
the Gala but Caroline felt a queer animosity
towards this pleasant, kind girl whose lover had kissed
her the night before. Though she told her surface
self that the kiss was only a “bit of fun”
and meant nothing, that other self knew well enough
that it had meant quite enough to constitute an injury
to a bride who was to be married in less than three
weeks’ time.
She replied abruptly, turning over
the leaves of her account book; irritated by this
contradictory sense of being obliged to feel she had
done an injury when she knew she really had not.
So at last Laura thought she had a headache or something,
and soon went on towards the Cottage.
Miss Ethel came to the door, and at
once took Laura into the living-room. Mrs. Bradford
sat as usual on an arm-chair, idle with a clear conscience,
because of her great, successful effort in the past.
Laura greeted them both gaily, for
she felt the world was an agreeable place that morning.
“I received your message with an almond cake
from the baker’s. I do hope your news
is something good, too,” she said.
But Miss Ethel did not respond to
the mild pleasantry. “Yes. I had
to get the baker’s boy to take a message, because
I am not very well to-day, and Caroline declined to
call round on her way to the promenade.”
“Said she hadn’t time,”
added Mrs. Bradford. “She had quite sufficient
time. And considering that she came in at all
hours last night after pretending to lose the latch-key,
I think she might have done what Ethel asked.
No doubt she had been wandering about with some man.
She went to the Creddles, intending to stay the night
there, but Creddle brought her back.”
“Oh, I feel sure she really
did lose the key,” said Laura. “It
is a thing I have done myself before now. And
I’m sure I never wandered about at night with
young men.”
“But she pretended that she
had been here earlier and was unable to make anyone
hear. I didn’t like that. We are
not Rip van Winkles,” said Miss Ethel crisply.
Laura laughed, anxious to conciliate
them both for Caroline’s sake. “I
dare say she was afraid of disturbing you. She
is a kind-hearted girl, I am sure, and she would remember
that you have been ill, Miss Ethel.”
“And yet she declined to go
on a simple errand for me this morning,” said
Miss Ethel. “No, they are all alike:
all for self. The young people of the present
day think of nothing but their own amusement.”
She paused and added, anxious to be
just, “Though I must own that Caroline was kind
when I was ill. I dare say there is something
good-hearted about her, at the bottom: but it
is her general attitude which I so dislike.”
“If we only had Ellen back!”
moaned Mrs. Bradford from the depths of the arm-chair.
“Or somebody like Ellen.”
“You may just as well wish for
butter at fourteen-pence a pound or oranges twelve
a penny like we used to get in Flodmouth Market,”
retorted Miss Ethel. Then her voice changed,
taking on a heavy, inward note. “Those
days are done. They’ll never come back
any more.”
“I mean,” said Mrs. Bradford,
who had all the curiosity often shown by stupid people,
“what sort of a young man Caroline has got now.
A great deal depends on that.” And she
looked inquiringly at Laura.
“I’m sure I don’t
know,” said Laura. “Caroline’s
young men are her affair, not mine.”
“At any rate,” said Miss
Ethel, “we have not brought you here on a busy
morning to talk about them. We know you must
have a great deal on your hands just now, preparing
for the wedding.”
“Oh, it makes a great difference,
having no house to get ready,” said Laura, flushing
at the mention of her wedding, as she could not help
doing, though she felt such a sign of emotion to be
ridiculous at this time of day. “We must
stay in my cottage until the house Godfrey has taken
is at liberty, and they say that won’t be before
the end of March at the earliest.”
“I don’t think I should
have liked that,” said Mrs. Bradford. “I
remember how my dear husband insisted on having everything
absolutely complete, down to the very toilet-tidies
on the looking-glasses, before he took me home as
a bride. But there are few like him.”
And she sighed and glanced up at the quite imposing
photograph which she had long since come to believe
exactly resembled Mr. Bradford in life.
Laura felt a very little annoyed for
the moment, being sensitive on this point of a house
because hints had not failed to reach her that Godfrey
was considered to be feathering his nest at her expense;
but the next minute she forgot her annoyance in a
tender flow of sympathy for this other woman who had
lost everything which she herself was about to possess.
“Godfrey and I thought it preferable
to waiting until the spring,” she said gently.
“But of course I should have liked my new home
to be all ready for me, as yours was.”
“Well, you needn’t regret
the toilet-tidies,” said Miss Ethel. “Green
paper with magenta ribbon, if I remember right.”
Then she paused a moment, nervously trying to steel
herself for an effort which was exceedingly painful
to her. “But what we asked you to come
in for was this” She paused
again to clear her throat. “We have decided
to sell this house, and we thought you would kindly
convey the message to Godfrey for us.”
“Of course I will,” said
Laura readily. The question as to why a letter
could not have been sent to Godfrey was latent in her
tone, but Miss Ethel did not answer it, because she
herself did not know how she dreaded the effort of
writing the letter.
“We knew you would be seeing
Godfrey this afternoon we thought perhaps
you would break it to him.”
“We have only just decided,”
added Mrs. Bradford. “But I daresay we
shall be all right in Emerald Avenue. There is
a pleasant window in the front bedroom facing south.
So long as I have my knitting and a warm corner I
can make myself happy. My dear husband once said
that my disposition made me immune from the arrows
of adversity. It was a beautiful thing to say,
and I have never forgotten it.”
“I’ll be sure to tell
Godfrey,” said Laura, for once bluntly disregarding
Mrs. Bradford’s reminiscences, because she understood
far more than they thought. It was plain enough
that Miss Ethel had sent in this haste so as to make
the matter irrevocable to strengthen a
decision almost beyond her powers. But once they
had talked openly about leaving the house, it became
an established thing.
“Tell Godfrey we can be out
by Christmas, if he is able to effect a sale,”
said Miss Ethel. “We must leave the roses,
of course, as there will be no garden in Emerald Avenue.
The privet hedge has been clipped this year, but
it will want pruning in January.”
“Oh, Miss Ethel!” said
Laura, with a catch in her throat, suddenly feeling
the tears running down, though she had no thought of
crying a moment earlier.
For Miss Ethel, as she stood there
very erect, talking in that dry, clear tone, with
her thin face towards the light and the right temple
twitching a little, looking out at the garden she had
loved to tend, was a sight very touching to a sensitive
heart. And though Laura knew that it was not
such a terrible misfortune to leave an agreeable house
with a nice garden for a smaller one less pleasant,
she still felt ridiculous though her reason
knew it to be that the atmosphere of the
low room was charged with something momentous.
The throb! throb! throb! of a heavy sea at low tide
came through the window, and it sounded to Laura’s
excited perceptions like the tread of something dreadful
coming. Perhaps she was in a state of heightened
emotion owing to her nearly approaching marriage,
and that made her unduly impressionable, but she did
experience a queer, helpless sense of destiny approaching
such as you feel in dreams.
But Miss Ethel had conquered a momentary
trembling of the lips caused by Laura’s tears,
and she crisply broke the silence. “I dare
say you think we are making a mountain out of a molehill.”
“No, no,” said Laura eagerly.
“Only you will have less work to do, and by
next year at this time you may be really glad you are
not here.”
“Shall I?” said Miss Ethel. “I
hope it may be so!”
“Don’t take it like that,
Miss Ethel!” said Laura in a quick, sharp tone,
most unusual for her. “Things can never
be as they were again. Is it likely? Look
out into the world. There’s not a corner
where you don’t feel the backwash of a storm
of some sort. You and I have lived in such a
sheltered happy way here that we don’t realize
what’s going on unless we are brought up against
it by something in our own lives.” She
wanted to be kind yet words which were not
very kind came out in spite of herself: and she
felt herself trembling a little, as if they had to
do with a deep emotion of her own which it distressed
her to bring to light. “You can’t
feel sure of anything or anybody in the whole world.
Anybody may change. They can’t help it,
any more than you can help seeing it.”
She was very pale now, aghast at what had grown from
a faint stirring of unformulated doubt to a spoken
reality. Almost every sensitive person has trembled
thus before something which has sprung up into sight
through the accidental touching of a hidden spot in
the mind.
But that only lasted a moment the
next, she was not going to leave it so. Every
particle of her being rebelled against what she had
seen and she would rather doubt her senses than her
love. “I except Godfrey, of course,”
she said, lifting up her head with a little laugh.
“He remains stable.”
“Yes. Yes. Of course,”
responded Miss Ethel absently, her mind so full of
what they had just decided to do that she could think
of nothing else. “Then you will tell Godfrey?
I don’t think there is any need for me to write.”
“He will come in to see you,
no doubt.” Laura had remained standing
since that moment when she rose hastily from her seat,
and she went forward now with a gesture which showed
she did not intend to sit down again. “I
have such heaps to do this morning. I’m
afraid I must run away now.”
But as she touched Miss Ethel’s
hand with her own she was startled by its icy coldness.
In a moment her sympathy flowed back again over those
dreadful thoughts, washing them away. “I
know you’ll love your new home when you get
settled, and you will have all your friends just the
same. More, because you will be nearer the town.”
And she pressed her lips to that white cheek.
Miss Ethel did not seem to relax in
that embrace, or to be in the least sensible of the
natural kindness which permeated every fibre of Laura’s
being like the sweetness of sun-warmed fruit, but perhaps
she did feel a little comforted by that soft human
contact all the same.
For she went with the guest to the
door and stood alone there watching until the sound
of steps and the click of the gate gave place to silence.
The builders had gone away for their dinner-hour,
and the close-shaven grass in the sunshine near the
high hedge seemed so cloistered so much
more remote than it really was. Before those
new houses came, you need not see anything beyond
the privet hedge unless you wished
But now the outside was close upon her. It was
time to give in and go away.
As she stood there with the neat curled
hair over her forehead blowing in the wind, and her
short skirt and blouse trimly set about her spare
figure, she was thinking thoughts which were almost
incredibly different from what she looked seeking
all over the world with a sort of desperate forlornness
for a corner where her mind could find rest.
Then the very quiet of the half-built
houses over the hedge reminded her that she must go
in to fry the rissoles for the midday dinner, but
she revolted from the anticipated smell of hot fat
with a sensation of physical sickness. For she
had never possessed a robust appetite, and until this
last year had scarcely ever sat down to a meal prepared
by herself: so she did not bring to the task
that interest which a good appetite or a natural taste
for cooking will give even to those who have had no
previous experience.
However, it had to be done, so she
went in, catching sight as she passed through the
hall of a roll of music returned by Laura: but
it failed to stir any regret that she was always too
tired to practise nowadays. Leisure which
she had all her life regarded as a right, no more
to be considered than water or air was hers
no longer.
But she had no idea that she was sharing
the exact experience of thousands of women throughout
England throughout Europe: that as
she stood there alone over a stove in a quiet little
house in a remote part of Yorkshire, carrying out
the everyday details of her narrow existence, she
was more widely and actually international than the
manual workers themselves.
She only knew that she loathed the smell of frying
fat.