During the night the wind freshened,
then for three days it blew half a gale from the south-west.
The sea was no longer a playfellow for little boys
and girls, but a monster whose white fangs gleamed
through the grey-blue water far out towards the horizon,
ready to crunch the bones of ships and sailors alike
with a sort of roistering glee.
A few visitors still fought their
way up and down the promenade; and if of a sanguine
temperament, they shouted above the wind, as they passed
Caroline in the pay-box, that this really ought
to blow the cobwebs away! But the furnished
houses and apartments near the sea, where a turn-up
bed on the landing could not be obtained for love or
money six weeks ago, were now mostly empty.
Even the visitors from Flodmouth who had remained
in Thorhaven because they were so near home, began
to think comfortably of lighted streets, theatres,
cinemas, concerts a general settling down
to their ordinary routine of work and play.
When Caroline came out of the pay-box
at the tea hour, she also realized that the season
was over. A sort of flat finality lay over everything,
despite the crispness of the air and the aromatic,
clean fragrance of the masses of sea-weed which had
been torn from the floor of the ocean in the storm
and now lay drying on the shore.
Well, that was all over. She
said so to herself as she walked away, feeling dull,
resigned it would be all the same a hundred
years hence.
She had not seen Godfrey since that
night on the way from the cinema when she and Winnie
caught a glimpse of him from under the dark shadow
of the trees, therefore it was plain that he must be
avoiding her. He knew her hours at the promenade,
and could easily have said a word in passing through
even if he did not wish for anything more. He
had taken her at her word; but being a woman, the
desire to talk everything out grew during those three
long stormy days to an agony of exasperation which
was almost worse to bear at the moment than the loss
of Godfrey himself.
After passing out of the promenade
she came back again, saying to Lillie over her shoulder
that she would go home by the cliff because she had
a headache and a blow would do it good. She told
herself the same thing. But beneath all that
she was eagerly aware that Godfrey’s lodgings
lay in that direction. As she went down the terrace
she could see the windows all open and the landlady
moving about inside with a duster. For a moment
she stood perfectly still, experiencing that sensation
of physical sickness which comes from sudden emotional
disappointment. She did not think at all, only
suffered under the maddening frustration of her desire
to have it all out with Godfrey once more before they
finally parted. The waves and the sky did not
exist for her, though they would always give dignity
to the memory of what passed between Godfrey and herself
that night on the cliff top. For while the seaside
accords with frothy impermanence in love as no other
background seems able to do, it is because those playing
at passion feel subconsciously how little their light
loves matter in face of that unchangeableness.
Caroline stood there until she recovered herself;
then the landlady came to shake the duster from the
window and she walked slowly towards the Cottage.
The ladies were already seated at
tea when Caroline opened the front door. Miss
Ethel at once rose from the table with a dish of jam
in her hand. “Caroline’s tea,”
she said briefly.
“But you have not taken any
yourself,” objected Mrs. Bradford. “And
I must say I don’t see why Caroline should have
it when our stock is getting so low.”
“We promised to board and lodge
her properly in return for her service, and I’m
going to do it,” said Miss Ethel with a tightening
of the lips.
“Well, no one can say she has
done her fair share of the bargain; at least, during
the last few days,” said Mrs. Bradford.
“She seems in a sort of dream. Here!
give me a bit more of that jam before you take it
away.”
“Caroline has never forgotten
to bring my morning tea once since I was ill,”
said Miss Ethel. “But she certainly does
not seem herself now. I don’t know what
is the matter with her.”
“Got her head full of young
men, no doubt,” said Mrs. Bradford. “It
makes some girls like that, of course.”
She glanced instinctively at her husband’s
picture, speaking as one having first-hand information
on all amatory matters.
Miss Ethel went into the kitchen where
Caroline was already lifting the kettle from the fire;
but when the girl turned round, her face looked so
queer and drawn despite the colour which the wind had
whipped into her cheeks, that Miss Ethel felt sorry.
Still, the barrier of “the room door”
had not been more immovably established in the consciousness
of Aunt Ellen and Aunt Creddle, than the iron law of
not “talking to the servants” in the minds
of Miss Ethel and Mrs. Bradford. They had been
so trained in the idea though, it only became
general about a hundred and fifty years ago that
when Miss Ethel now wanted to speak of Caroline’s
unhappy looks as one simple, ordinary human being to
another she could not manage to do it. She meant
to be kind and yet was obliged to assume the tone
and manner throwing her voice flute-like,
as it were, across a gulf neither must cross which
her mother had always employed in speaking to the
servants.
“Oh! Caroline,”
she said, placing the jam on the table. “I
thought you might like some of this for your tea.
It is very stormy out to-night, is it not?
I hope you have not caught cold?”
She had a habit of beginning that
way “Oh! Caroline” when
she intended to give an order or make a request.
In making her perfunctory reply, Caroline
never imagined for one moment that her own healthy
appetite was often satisfied at Miss Ethel’s
expense. She had bargained for food, and food
was there; and there was an end of it. But the
front-door bell rang, and something in Miss Ethel’s
expression did then pierce her self-engrossment.
“Is anything the matter, Miss Ethel?”
“No, no.” Miss Ethel
stood there, pressing her thin hands together striving
to speak calmly. “It is only the people
to look over the house, I expect.” Then
she turned round and walked with her head erect across
the hall.
The door opened to disclose a short,
thin, alert man with a taller, well-nourished woman
in handsome clothes, wearing a thick coating of scented
powder on her full cheeks and thick nose. Over
her whole person was written in characters for all
to read the consciousness of having plenty of money.
It was new to her, and never for a moment could she
forget it; while her husband also fed his satisfaction
in having plenty of money every time he looked at
her. And yet they were not unkindly people;
ready to do a kindness if it did not take away from
them any of the luxuries, pleasures, delightful enviousness
in others less successful, which gradually would give
them atrophy of the soul.
So they thought good-naturedly enough,
that though the old girl looked a bit frosty and forbidding,
that was no wonder it must be a nasty jar
to have to turn out of a house where you had lived
so many years. And they made every allowance
for the somewhat ceremonious manner in which she conducted
them through the rooms.
“Ah yes; when I used to see
you come into the front seats at the Flodmouth concerts
with your respected father, and me in the shilling
gallery, I little thought But
it’s one down and the other come up in these
days, Miss Wilson. Same all the world over.”
“Look, William!” said
the wife, jogging her husband’s arm. “That’s
a beautiful old bureau.” Then she turned
to Miss Ethel. “I dare say you have a
lot of old furniture here that will be too big for
your little house. Couldn’t we offer to
relieve you of some of it? I could do very well
with that bureau and no doubt other things besides.”
William whipped out his pocket-book.
“Yes, Miss Wilson, you just say what you want
to part with, and I’ll have the lot valued by
anybody you like. Pity to let the things go
out of the house.” He paused, suddenly
noticing the grey shade on Miss Ethel’s face:
then added encouragingly: “You’re
quite in the fashion, you know, Miss Wilson.
Everybody’s doing it, from dukes downwards.”
“Of course,” said Miss
Ellen.
Mrs. Bradford sat stolidly silent,
taking no part in the affair, not even when the little
man said in a low voice: “Deaf, I see.
A great affliction a great affliction!”
At last they had seen everything,
and stood once more in the hall before the open door.
“Well, we came just as a matter of form,”
said the husband. “Never do to buy a pig
in a poke, you know! But we shall go straight
to Mr. Wilson and tell him we have decided to buy.
You may make your mind at rest about that.
Of course, there is a good deal to be done inside.
But what I say is, it is a gentleman’s house.”
Then the wife said, glancing through
the open door. “Oh! by the way, Miss Wilson,
we wondered if you would mind our man coming in one
day to dig up the privet hedge? You know labour
is so difficult to get in Thorhaven, and we happen
to have a man engaged for another month; so perhaps
you” Her voice trailed off
into silence, for she was a little abashed by that
look in Miss Ethel’s pale eyes. “It
won’t look so pretty, of course, but it will
let light and air into the house.”
“Oh yes,” said Miss Ethel, smiling with
strained lips.
Then they went down the drive, leaving
her there in the doorway staring at the privet hedge.
Over the hedge, a fire had just been lighted in the
scarcely completed bungalow, so that the white smoke
streamed like a flag from the tall chimney, just moved
a little from the south so that it swung over towards
the Cottage. A week or two more and the hedge
would be down. There would be no barrier at all
between this quiet garden and all those rows of houses
which had been marching on, nearer and nearer, ever
since the first one was built. As Miss Ethel
stood there, she felt beaten. She knew at last,
what she had fought so hard not to know, that the
powers against her in the world were too strong that
her opposition was ridiculous and futile. Nothing
that she could ever say or do would make the slightest
difference.
She returned to the room where Mrs.
Bradford was sitting. “They will be sending
some one to take up the hedge in a few days,”
she said.
“You don’t mean it!”
exclaimed Mrs. Bradford, startled into animation.
“Oh, what a thing it is to be without a man in
a matter like this! I know my dear husband would
never have allowed it.”
But Miss Ethel was at the window again,
quietly looking out. “They say it will
let light and air into the house. It won’t
look so pretty, but it will let light and air into
the house.”
Then they ceased speaking for the
moment because Caroline had come into the room to
take away the tea-tray; but before she had closed the
door, Mrs. Bradford began again, still for her excitedly:
“Ethel! Mrs. Graham ran in for a minute
while you were upstairs, and she says Laura Temple’s
wedding is put off.” There came a sudden
crash of crockery just beyond the door. “Caroline!”
cried Miss Ethel, “have you let the tray fall?”
Caroline did not answer at first;
then she said in a low voice: “There’s
nothing broken, Miss Ethel.”
But she did not move away only
forced her hands to hold the tray steadily so that
they should not know she was there. The next
moment she heard Miss Ethel cross the room and was
obliged to go back to the kitchen.
There she stood washing up over the
sink, seething with a conflict which almost maddened
her. The old habit of Aunt Creddle and Aunt
Ellen grown into an instinct in course of
generations to guess, and listen for chance
words, and piece together any drama that was going
on “in the room” because their own lives
were so circumscribed, fought with her own free impulse
to return openly and ask the plain question:
“Do you know why Miss Temple’s engagement
is broken off?”
The conflict made her feel terribly
over-excited and nervous; but she had one over-mastering
reason for not obeying that impulse to ask a direct
question she was afraid lest these two women
might see she was in love with Godfrey. Then
she happened to glance at the clock, and saw she was
already late for the promenade; but as she hurried
down the drive she heard the whistle of a railway
engine and stood perfectly still just as if some one
had called to her. But that was the five-twenty-five
train, of course. That by which Godfrey invariably
returned when he had spent the day in the city, was
half an hour later. If she waited outside the
station until it came in, she would be certain to
see him. He must speak to her then.
This maddening agony of uncertainty and suspense
would be over at least.
But as she hurried along to the station
with the moist west wind in her face, she saw behind
those engrossing thoughts the other girl
waiting angrily to be released from the pay-box.
Still, that didn’t matter to Caroline.
Nothing mattered in the world, but getting that talk
with Godfrey. For she had reached a point now,
when all these business men and shopping ladies who
began to flow past her from the platform drawing
their scarves closer, and buttoning their coats as
they merged into the cool, salt air after the warmer
atmosphere of the city seemed no more to
her than flies buzzing round a path she was bent on
following.
Wilf came past, taking long strides
and wearing a new hat which he removed slightly; giving
a sideways, condescending nod which said as plainly
as words: “If you’re waiting for me,
miss, it’s no go!”
But though she nodded in return, she
was not actually aware of him. Her heart beat
unevenly and she felt a suspense which ran through
every nerve and every vein she had no feeling
beyond it. Her face was ashen as she stood by
the entrance to the station, with the breakers beyond
looking cruel in the cold light. Her eyes shone
black, owing to the pupils being so distended, but
she appeared pinched and quiet as she stood there,
at the edge of the crowd, for her whirling emotions
had now reached that point which looks like stillness.
All of a sudden the blood rushed up
over her forehead, and she instinctively put her hand
to her heart because it seemed to be leaping out of
its place. Here was Godfrey at last, walking
with another man. She moved forward and stood
directly in his way, so that he must see her.
“Good evening,” he said, then continued
his conversation with the broad, prosperous-looking
merchant who walked by his side.
Caroline remained planted there, staring
after them with an almost foolish expression on her
face. She could not take it in. It seemed
incredible. Then the two men vanished round the
corner, and at the same moment she heard a girl saying
in her ear: “Cheer up, Carrie! If
Wilf hasn’t caught this, he will get the next.
He isn’t dead.”
“What do you mean?” said
Carrie, but her voice sounded muffled and vague, even
to herself.
“Why, you came to meet your
boy, didn’t you? And he hasn’t turned
up. That’s what you looked like, anyway,”
said the girl, laughing.
Carrie made an immense effort to fight
off that feeling of faintness, saying jerkily:
“Oh, well, I’m off with Wilf, you know.”
But the words seemed to echo in some great, vague
place a long distance away.