The performance was over: the
curtain had descended and the spectators had dispersed.
There had been a slight crush at the
doors of the theatre, and what with the abrupt change
from the pleasant warmth and light of the interior
to the sharp chill of the night outside, Preston shivered,
and a sudden weakness smote him at the joints.
The crowd on the pavement in front
of the theatre melted away with unexampled rapidity,
in fact, seemed almost to waver and disappear as if
the mise en scene had changed in some inexplicable
way.
A hansom drove up, and Preston stepped
into it heavily, glancing drowsily askance at the
driver as he did so.
Seated up there, barely visible in
the gloom, the driver had an almost grisly aspect,
humped with waterproof capes, and with such a lean,
white face. Preston, as he glanced at him, shivered
again.
The trap-door above him opened softly,
and the colourless face peered down at him curiously.
“Where to, sir?” asked the hollow voice.
Preston leaned back wearily. “Home,”
he replied.
It did not strike him as anything
strange or unusual, that the driver asked no questions
but drove off without a word. He was very weary,
and he wanted to rest.
The sleepless hum of the city was
abidingly in his ears, and the lamps that dotted the
misty pavements stared at him blinkingly all along
the route. The tall black buildings rose up grimly
into the night; the faces that flitted to and fro
along the pavements, kept ever sliding past him, melting
into the darkness; and the cabs and ’buses, still
astir in the streets, had a ghostly air as they vanished
in the gloom.
Preston lay back, weary in every joint,
a drowsy numbness settling on his pulse. He had
faith in his driver: he would bring him safely
home.
Presently they were at one of the
wharves beside the river: Preston could hear
the gurgle of the water around the piles.
Not this way had he ever before gone
homeward. He looked out musingly on the swift,
black stream.
“Just in time: we can go
down with the tide,” said a voice.
Preston would have uttered some protest,
but this sluggishness overpowered him: it was
as if he could neither lift hand nor foot. The
inertia of indifference had penetrated into his bones.
Presently he was aware that he had
entered a barge that lay close against the wharf,
heaving on the tide. And, as if it were all a
piece of the play, the lean old driver, with his dead-white
face, had the oars in his hands and stood quietly
facing him, guiding the dark craft down the stream.
The panorama of the river-bank kept
changing and shifting in the most inexplicable manner,
and Preston was aware of a crowd of pictures ever
coming and going before his eyes: as if some subtle
magician, standing behind his shoulder, were projecting
for him, on the huge black screen of night, the most
marvellous display of memories he had ever contemplated.
For they were all memories, or blends of memories,
that now rose here on the horizon of his consciousness.
There was nothing new in essentials presented to him:
but the grouping was occasionally novel to a fault.
The dear old home the dear
old folks! Green hills, with the little white-washed
cottage in a dimple of them, and in the foreground
the wind-fretted plain of the sea. The boyish
games marbles and hoop-trundling and
the coming home at dusk to the red-lighted kitchen,
where the mother had the tea ready on the table and
the sisters sat at their knitting by the fire.
The dear, dear mother! how his pulse
yearned towards her! there were tears in his eyes
as he thought of her now. Yet, all the same, the
quiet of his pulse was profound.
And there was the familiar scenery
of his daily life: the ink-stained desks, the
brass rails for the books, the ledgers and bank-books,
and the files against the walls; and the faces of
his fellow-clerks (even the office boy) depicted here
before him to the very life.
The wind across the waters blew chilly
in his face: he shivered, a numbness settling
in his limbs.
His sweet young wife, so loving and
gentle how shamefully he had neglected
her, seeking his own pleasure selfishly there
she sat in the familiar chair by the fireside with
dear little Daisy dancing on her knee. What a
quiet, restful interior it was! He wondered:
would they miss him much if he were dead? . . .
Above all, would little Daisy understand what it meant
when some one whispered to her “favee is
dead”?
The wavering shadows seemed to thicken
around the boat. And the figure at the oars how
lean and white it was: and yet it seemed a good
kind of fellow, too, he thought. Preston watched
it musingly as the stream bore them onward: the
rushing of the water almost lulling him to sleep.
Were they sweeping outward, then, to the unknown sea?
It was an unexpected journey. . . . And he had
asked to be taken home!
Presently the air grew full of shapes:
shadowy shapes with mournful faces; shapes that hinted
secrets, with threatenings in their eyes.
If a man’s sins, now, should
take to themselves bodies, would it not be in some
such guise as this they would front and affright him
at dead of night?
Preston shivered, sitting there like a mere numb lump.
How much of his wrong-doing is forgiven
to a man and how much remembered against
him in the reckoning?
How awful this gruesome isolation was becoming!
Was it thus a man went drifting up to God?
The figure at the oars was crooning
softly. It was like the lullaby his mother used
to sing to him when he was a child.
There was a breath of freer air humanity
lay behind them they were alone with Nature
on the vast, dim sea.
The numbness crept to the roots of
his being. He had no hands to lift; he had no
feet to move. His heart grew sluggish: there
was a numbness in his brain.
Death stood upright now in the bow
before him: and in the east he was aware of a
widening breadth of grey.
Would the blackness freshen into perfect
day for him . . . or would the night lie hopelessly
on him for ever? . . .
The figure drew near and
laid its hand across his eyes. . . .
“Thrown out of the hansom, and
the wheels went over him, sir. He was dead in
less than five minutes, I should think.”
“Cover his face . . . and break it gently to
his wife.”