If we could shut our eyes to the
two sisters sitting here in woe, this would be, to
the male eye at least, the identical blue and white
room of ten years ago; the same sun shining into it
and playing familiarly with Miss Susan’s treasures.
But the ladies are changed. It is not merely
that Miss Phoebe has again donned her schoolmistress’s
gown and hidden her curls under the cap. To
see her thus once more, her real self, after the escapade
of the ball, is not unpleasant, and the cap and gown
do not ill become the quiet room. But she now
turns guiltily from the sun that used to be her intimate,
her face is drawn, her form condensed into the smallest
space, and her hands lie trembling in her lap.
It is disquieting to note that any life there is in
the room comes not from her but from Miss Susan.
If the house were to go on fire now it would be she
who would have to carry out Miss Phoebe.
Whatever of import has happened
since the ball, Patty knows it, and is enjoying it.
We see this as she ushers in Miss Willoughby.
Note also, with concern, that at mention of the visitor’s
name the eyes of the sisters turn affrightedly, not
to the door by which their old friend enters, but
to the closed door of the spare bed-chamber.
Patty also gives it a meaning glance; then the three
look at each other, and two of them blanch.
MISS WILLOUGHBY (the fourth to
look at the door). I am just run across,
Susan, to inquire how Miss Livvy does now.
MISS SUSAN. She is still very poorly, Mary.
MISS WILLOUGHBY. I am so unhappy
of that. I conceive it to be a nervous disorder?
MISS SUSAN (almost too glibly).
Accompanied by trembling, flutterings, and spasms.
MISS WILLOUGHBY. The excitements
of the ball. You have summoned the apothecary
at last, I trust, Phoebe?
(MISS PHOEBE, once so ready of
defence, can say nothing.)
MISS SUSAN (to the rescue).
It is Livvy’s own wish that he should not be
consulted.
Miss WILLOUGHBY (looking longingly
at the door). May I go in to see her?
MISS SUSAN. I fear not, Mary.
She is almost asleep, and it is best not to disturb
her. (Peeping into the bedroom.) Lie quite
still, Livvy, my love, quite still.
(Somehow this makes PATTY smile
so broadly that she finds it advisable to retire.
MISS WILLOUGHBY sighs, and produces a small bowl
from the folds of her cloak.)
Miss WILLOUGHBY. This is a little
arrowroot, of which I hope Miss Livvy will be so obliging
as to partake.
MISS SUSAN (taking the bowl). I thank
you, Mary.
PHOEBE (ashamed). Susan, we ought not-
MISS SUSAN (shameless). I will take it
to her while it is still warm.
(She goes into the bedroom.
MISS WILLOUGHBY gazes at MISS PHOEBE, who
certainly shrinks. It has not escaped the notice
of the visitor that MISS PHOEBE has become
the more timid of the sisters, and she has evolved
an explanation.)
MISS WILLOUGHBY. Phoebe, has Captain Brown been
apprised of Miss
Livvy’s illness?
PHOEBE (uncomfortably). I think not,
Miss Willoughby.
MISS WILLOUGHBY (sorry for
PHOEBE, and speaking very kindly). Is
this right, Phoebe? You informed Fanny and Henrietta
at the ball of his partiality for Livvy. My
dear, it is hard for you, but have you any right to
keep them apart?
PHOEBE (discovering only now what are the suspicions
of her friends).
Is that what you think I am doing, Miss Willoughby?
MISS WILLOUGHBY. Such a mysterious
illness. (Sweetly) Long ago, Phoebe, I once
caused much unhappiness through foolish jealousy.
That is why I venture to hope that you will not be
as I was, my dear.
PHOEBE. I jealous of Livvy!
MISS WILLOUGHBY (with a sigh).
I thought as little of the lady I refer to, but he
thought otherwise.
PHOEBE. Indeed, Miss Willoughby, you wrong me.
(But MISS WILLOUGHBY does
not entirely believe her, and there is a pause, so
long a pause that unfortunately MISS SUSAN thinks
she has left the house.)
MISS SUSAN (peeping in). Is she gone?
MISS WILLOUGHBY (hurt). No, Susan, but
I am going.
MISS SUSAN (distressed). Mary!
(She follows her out, but MISS
WILLOUGHBY will not be comforted, and there is
a coldness between them for the rest of the day.
MISS SUSAN is not so abashed as she ought to be.
She returns, and partakes with avidity of the arrowroot.)
MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, I am well
aware that this is wrong of me, but Mary’s arrowroot
is so delicious. The ladies’-fingers and
petticoat-tails those officers sent to Livvy, I ate
them also! (Once on a time this would have amused
MISS PHOEBE, but her sense of humour has gone.
She is crying.) Phoebe, if you have such remorse
you will weep yourself to death.
PHOEBE. Oh, sister, were it
not for you, how gladly would I go into a decline.
MISS SUSAN (after she has soothed
PHOEBE a little). My dear, what is to
be done about her? We cannot have her supposed
to be here for ever.
PHOEBE. We had to pretend that
she was ill to keep her out of sight; and now we cannot
say she has gone away, for the Miss Willoughby’s
windows command our door, and they are always watching.
MISS SUSAN (peeping from the window).
I see Fanny watching now. I feel, Phoebe, as
if Livvy really existed.
PHOEBE (mournfully).
We shall never be able to esteem ourselves again.
MISS SUSAN (who has in her the
makings of a desperate criminal). Phoebe,
why not marry him? If only we could make him
think that Livvy had gone home. Then he need
never know.
PHOEBE. Susan, you pain me.
She who marries without telling all-hers
must ever be a false face. They are his own words.
(PATTY enters importantly.)
PATTY. Captain Brown.
PHOEBE (starting up). I wrote to him,
begging him not to come.
MISS SUSAN (quickly). Patty, I am sorry
we are out.
(But VALENTINE has entered
in time to hear her words.)
VALENTINE (not unmindful that this
is the room in which he is esteemed a wit).
I regret that they are out, Patty, but I will await
their return. (The astonishing man sits on the
ottoman beside MISS SUSAN, but politely ignores
her presence.) It is not my wish to detain you,
Patty.
(PATTY goes reluctantly, and the
sisters think how like him, and how delightful it
would be if they were still the patterns of propriety
he considers them.)
PHOEBE (bravely). Captain Brown.
VALENTINE (rising). You,
Miss Phoebe. I hear Miss Livvy is indisposed?
PHOEBE. She is-very poorly.
VALENTINE. But it is not that
unpleasant girl I have come to see, it is you.
MISS SUSAN (meekly). How do you do?
VALENTINE (ignoring her).
And I am happy, Miss Phoebe, to find you alone.
MISS SUSAN (appealingly). How do you
do, sir?
PHOEBE. You know quite well, sir, that Susan
is here.
VALENTINE. Nay, ma’am,
excuse me. I heard Miss Susan say she was gone
out. Miss Susan is incapable of prevarication.
MISS SUSAN (rising-helpless).
What am I to do?
PHOEBE. Don’t go, Susan-’tis
what he wants.
VALENTINE. I have her word that she is not present.
MISS SUSAN. Oh dear.
VALENTINE. My faith in Miss
Susan is absolute. (At this she retires into the
bedroom, and immediately his manner changes.
He takes MISS PHOEBE’S hands into his
own kind ones.) You coward, Miss Phoebe, to be
afraid of Valentine Brown.
PHOEBE. I wrote and begged you not to come.
VALENTINE. You implied as a
lover, Miss Phoebe, but surely always as a friend.
PHOEBE. Oh yes, yes.
VALENTINE. You told Miss Livvy
that you loved me once. How carefully you hid
it from me!
PHOEBE (more firmly).
A woman must never tell. You went away to the
great battles. I was left to fight in a little
one. Women have a flag to fly, Mr. Brown, as
well as men, and old maids have a flag as well as
women. I tried to keep mine flying.
VALENTINE. But you ceased to
care for me. (Tenderly.) I dare ask your
love no more, but I still ask you to put yourself into
my keeping. Miss Phoebe, let me take care of
you.
PHOEBE. It cannot be.
VALENTINE. This weary teaching! Let me
close your school.
PHOEBE. Please, sir.
VALENTINE. If not for your own
sake, I ask you, Miss Phoebe, to do it for mine.
In memory of the thoughtless recruit who went off
laughing to the wars. They say ladies cannot
quite forget the man who has used them ill; Miss Phoebe,
do it for me because I used you ill.
PHOEBE. I beg you-no more.
VALENTINE (manfully).
There, it is all ended. Miss Phoebe, here is
my hand on it.
PHOEBE. What will you do now?
VALENTINE. I also must work.
I will become a physician again, with some drab old
housekeeper to neglect me and the house. Do you
foresee the cobwebs gathering and gathering, Miss
Phoebe?
PHOEBE. Oh, sir!
VALENTINE. You shall yet see
me in Quality Street, wearing my stock all awry.
PHOEBE. Oh, oh!
VALENTINE. And with snuff upon my sleeve.
PHOEBE. Sir, sir!
VALENTINE. No skulker, ma’am,
I hope, but gradually turning into a grumpy, crusty,
bottle-nosed old bachelor.
PHOEBE. Oh, Mr. Brown!
VALENTINE. And all because you will not walk
across the street with me.
PHOEBE. Indeed, sir, you must
marry-and I hope it may be some one who
is really like a garden.
VALENTINE. I know but one.
That reminds me, Miss Phoebe, of something I had
forgot. (He produces a paper from his pocket.)
’Tis a trifle I have wrote about you.
But I fear to trouble you.
(PHOEBE’S hands go out longingly for it.)
PHOEBE (reading). ’Lines
to a Certain Lady, who is Modestly unaware of her
Resemblance to a Garden. Wrote by her servant,
V. B.’
(The beauty of this makes her falter. She
looks up.)
VALENTINE (with a poet’s pride).
There is more of it, ma’am.
PHOEBE (reading)
The lilies are her pretty thoughts,
Her shoulders are the may,
Her smiles are all forget-me-nots,
The path ’s her gracious
way,
The roses that do line it are
Her fancies walking round,
’Tis sweetly smelling lavender
In which my lady’s gowned.
(MISS PHOEBE has thought herself strong, but she is not able to read
such exquisite lines without betraying herself to a lover’s gaze.)
VALENTINE (excitedly).
Miss Phoebe, when did you cease to care for me?
PHOEBE (retreating from him but
clinging to her poem). You promised not
to ask.
VALENTINE. I know not why you
should, Miss Phoebe, but I believe you love me still!
(MISS PHOEBE has the terrified
appearance of a detected felon.)
(MISS SUSAN returns.)
MISS SUSAN. You are talking so loudly.
VALENTINE. Miss Susan, does she care for me
still?
MISS SUSAN (forgetting her pride
of sex). Oh, sir, how could she help it.
VALENTINE. Then by Gad, Miss
Phoebe, you shall marry me though I have to carry
you in my arms to the church.
PHOEBE. Sir, how can you!
(But MISS SUSAN gives her
a look which means that it must be done if only to
avoid such a scandal. It is at this inopportune
moment that MISS HENRIETTA and MISS FANNY
are announced.)
MISS HENRIETTA. I think Miss
Willoughby has already popped in.
PHOEBE (with a little spirit). Yes, indeed.
MISS SUSAN (a mistress of sarcasm).
How is Mary, Fanny? She has not been to see
us for several minutes.
MISS FANNY (somewhat daunted).
Mary is so partial to you, Susan.
VALENTINE. Your servant, Miss Henrietta, Miss
Fanny.
MISS FANNY. How do you do, sir?
MISS HENRIETTA (wistfully). And how do
you find Miss Livvy, sir?
VALENTINE. I have not seen her, Miss Henrietta.
MISS HENRIETTA. Indeed!
MISS FANNY. Not even you?
VALENTINE. You seem surprised?
MISS FANNY. Nay, sir, you must not say so; but
really, Phoebe!
PHOEBE. Fanny, you presume!
VALENTINE (puzzled).
If one of you ladies would deign to enlighten me.
To begin with, what is Miss Livvy’s malady?
MISS HENRIETTA. He does not know? Oh,
Phoebe.
VALENTINE. Ladies, have pity on a dull man,
and explain.
MISS FANNY (timidly).
Please not to ask us to explain. I fear we
have already said more than was proper. Phoebe,
forgive.
(To CAPTAIN BROWN this but
adds to the mystery, and he looks to PHOEBE for
enlightenment.)
PHOEBE (desperate). I understand, sir,
there is a belief that I keep
Livvy in confinement because of your passion for her.
VALENTINE. My passion for Miss
Livvy? Why, Miss Fanny, I cannot abide her-nor
she me. (Looking manfully at MISS PHOEBE.)
Furthermore, I am proud to tell you that this is the
lady whom I adore.
MISS FANNY. Phoebe?
VALENTINE. Yes, ma’am.
(The ladies are for a moment bereft
of speech, and the uplifted PHOEBE cannot refrain
from a movement which, if completed, would be a curtsy.
Her punishment follows promptly.)
MISS HENRIETTA (from her heart). Phoebe,
I am so happy ’tis you.
MISS FANNY. Dear Phoebe, I give
you joy. And you also, sir. (MISS PHOEBE sends
her sister a glance of unutterable woe, and escapes
from the room. It is most ill-bred of her.)
Miss Susan, I do not understand!
MISS HENRIETTA. Is it that Miss Livvy is an
obstacle?
MISS SUSAN (who knows that there
is no hope for her but in flight). I think
I hear Phoebe calling me-a sudden indisposition.
Pray excuse me, Henrietta. (She goes.)
MISS HENRIETTA. We know not,
sir, whether to offer you our félicitations?
VALENTINE (cogitating).
May I ask, ma’am, what you mean by an obstacle?
Is there some mystery about Miss Livvy?
MISS HENRIETTA. So much so,
sir, that we at one time thought she and Miss Phoebe
were the same person.
VALENTINE. Pshaw!
MISS FANNY. Why will they admit no physician
into her presence?
MISS HENRIETTA. The blinds of her room are kept
most artfully drawn.
MISS FANNY (plaintively). We have never
seen her, sir. Neither Miss
Susan nor Miss Phoebe will present her to us.
VALENTINE (impressed). Indeed.
(MISS HENRIETTA and MISS FANNY,
encouraged by his sympathy, draw nearer the door
of the interesting bedchamber. They falter.
Any one who thinks, however, that they would so far
forget themselves as to open the door and peep in,
has no understanding of the ladies of Quality Street.
They are, nevertheless, not perfect, for MISS
HENRIETTA knocks on the door.)
MISS HENRIETTA. How do you find yourself, dear
Miss Livvy?
(There is no answer. It is
our pride to record that they come away without even
touching the handle. They look appealing at
CAPTAIN BROWN, whose face has grown grave.)
VALENTINE. I think, ladies, as a physician-
(He walks into the bedroom.
They feel an ignoble drawing to follow him, but do
not yield to it. When he returns his face is
inscrutable.)
MISS HENRIETTA. Is she very poorly, sir?
VALENTINE. Ha.
MISS FANNY. We did not hear you address her.
VALENTINE. She is not awake, ma’am.
MISS HENRIETTA. It is provoking.
MISS FANNY (sternly just).
They informed Mary that she was nigh asleep.
VALENTINE. It is not a serious
illness I think, ma’am. With the permission
of Miss Phoebe and Miss Susan I will make myself more
acquaint with her disorder presently. (He is desirous
to be alone.) But we must not talk lest we disturb
her.
MISS FANNY. You suggest our retiring, sir?
VALENTINE. Nay, Miss Fanny-
MISS FANNY. You are very obliging; but I think,
Henrietta-
MISS HENRIETTA (rising). Yes, Fanny.
(No doubt they are the more ready
to depart that they wish to inform MISS WILLOUGHBY
at once of these strange doings. As they go,
MISS SUSAN and MISS PHOEBE return, and the
adieux are less elaborate than usual. Neither
visitors nor hostesses quite know what to say.
MISS SUSAN is merely relieved to see them leave,
but MISS PHOEBE has read something in their
manner that makes her uneasy.)
PHOEBE. Why have they departed
so hurriedly, sir? They-they did not
go in to see Livvy?
VALENTINE. No.
(She reads danger in his face.)
PHOEBE. Why do you look at me so strangely?
VALENTINE (somewhat stern). Miss Phoebe,
I desire to see Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE. Impossible.
VALENTINE. Why impossible?
They tell me strange stories about no one’s
seeing her. Miss Phoebe, I will not leave this
house until I have seen her.
PHOEBE. You cannot. (But
he is very determined, and she is afraid of him.)
Will you excuse me, sir, while I talk with Susan behind
the door?
(The sisters go guiltily into the
bedroom, and CAPTAIN BROWN after some hesitation
rings for PATTY.)
VALENTINE. Patty, come here.
Why is this trick being played upon me?
PATTY (with all her wits about
her). Trick, sir! Who would dare?
VALENTINE. I know, Patty, that
Miss Phoebe has been Miss Livvy all the time.
PATTY. I give in!
VALENTINE. Why has she done this?
PATTY (beseechingly). Are you laughing,
sir?
VALENTINE. I am very far from laughing.
PATTY (turning on him).
’Twas you that began it, all by not knowing
her in the white gown.
VALENTINE. Why has this deception been kept
up so long?
PATTY. Because you would not
see through it. Oh, the wicked denseness.
She thought you were infatuate with Miss Livvy because
she was young and silly.
VALENTINE. It is infamous.
PATTY. I will not have you call
her names. ’Twas all playful innocence
at first, and now she is so feared of you she is weeping
her soul to death, and all I do I cannot rouse her.
‘I ha’ a follower in the kitchen, ma’am,’
says I, to infuriate her. ’Give him a glass
of cowslip wine,’ says she, like a gentle lamb.
And ill she can afford it, you having lost their
money for them.
VALENTINE. What is that? On the contrary,
all the money they have,
Patty, they owe to my having invested it for them.
PATTY. That is the money they lost.
VALENTINE. You are sure of that?
PATTY. I can swear to it.
VALENTINE. Deceived me about that also.
Good God; but why?
PATTY. I think she was feared
you would offer to her out of pity. She said
something to Miss Susan about keeping a flag flying.
What she meant I know not. (But he knows, and
he turns away his face.) Are you laughing, sir?
VALENTINE. No, Patty, I am not laughing.
Why do they not say Miss
Livvy has gone home? It would save them a world
of trouble.
PATTY. The Misses Willoughby
and Miss Henrietta-they watch the house
all day. They would say she cannot be gone, for
we did not see her go.
VALENTINE (enlightened at last). I see!
PATTY. And Miss Phoebe and Miss
Susan wring their hands, for they are feared Miss
Livvy is bedridden here for all time. (Now his
sense of humour asserts itself). Thank the
Lord, you ’re laughing!
(At this he laughs the more, and
it is a gay CAPTAIN BROWN on whom MISS
SUSAN opens the bedroom door. This desperate
woman is too full of plot to note the change in him.)
MISS SUSAN. I am happy to inform
you, sir, that Livvy finds herself much improved.
VALENTINE (bolting). It is joy to me
to hear it.
MISS SUSAN. She is coming in to see you.
PATTY (aghast). Oh, ma’am!
VALENTINE (frowning on PATTY).
I shall be happy to see the poor invalid.
PATTY. Ma’am !
(But MISS SUSAN, believing
that so far all is well, has returned to the bedchamber.
CAPTAIN BROWN bestows a quizzical glance upon the
maid.)
VALENTINE. Go away, Patty.
Anon I may claim a service of you, but for the present,
go.
PATTY. But-but-
VALENTINE. Retire, woman.
(She has to go, and he prepares
his face for the reception of the invalid.
PHOEBE comes in without her cap, the ringlets showing
again. She wears a dressing jacket and is supported
by MISS SUSAN.)
VALENTINE (gravely). Your servant, Miss
Livvy.
PHOEBE (weakly). How do you do?
VALENTINE. Allow me, Miss Susan.
(He takes MISS SUSAN’S
place; but after an exquisite moment MISS PHOEBE
breaks away from him, feeling that she is not worthy
of such bliss.)
PHOEBE. No, no, I-I can walk alone-see.
(She reclines upon the couch.)
MISS SUSAN. How do you think she is looking?
(He makes a professional examination
of the patient, and they are very ashamed to deceive
him, but not so ashamed that they must confess.)
What do you think?
VALENTINE (solemnly).
She will recover. May I say, ma’am, it
surprises me that any one should see much resemblance
between you and your Aunt Phoebe. Miss Phoebe
is decidedly shorter and more thick-set.
PHOEBE (sitting up). No, I am not.
VALENTINE. I said Miss Phoebe,
ma’am. (She reclines.) But tell me,
is not Miss Phoebe to join us?
PHOEBE. She hopes you will excuse her, sir.
MISS SUSAN (vaguely). Taking the opportunity
of airing the room.
VALENTINE. Ah, of course.
MISS SUSAN (opening bedroom door and catting mendaciously).
Captain
Brown will excuse you, Phoebe.
VALENTINE. Certainly, Miss Susan. Well,
ma’am, I think I could cure
Miss Livvy if she is put unreservedly into my hands.
MISS SUSAN (with a sigh). I am sure you
could.
VALENTINE. Then you are my patient, Miss Livvy.
PHOEBE (nervously). ’Twas
but a passing indisposition, I am almost quite recovered.
VALENTINE. Nay, you still require
attention. Do you propose making a long stay
in Quality Street, ma’am?
PHOEBE. I-I-I hope not.
It-it depends.
MISS SUSAN (forgetting herself). Mary
is the worst.
VALENTINE. I ask your pardon?
PHOEBE. Aunt Susan, you are excited.
VALENTINE. But you are quite
right, Miss Livvy; home is the place for you.
PHOEBE. Would that I could go!
VALENTINE. You are going.
PHOEBE. Yes-soon.
VALENTINE. Indeed, I have a
delightful surprise for you, Miss Livvy, you are going
to-day.
PHOEBE. To-day?
VALENTINE. Not merely to-day,
but now. As it happens, my carriage is standing
idle at your door, and I am to take you in it to your
home-some twenty miles if I remember.
PHOEBE. You are to take me?
VALENTINE. Nay, ’tis no
trouble at all, and as your physician my mind is made
up. Some wraps for her, Miss Susan.
MISS SUSAN. But-but-
PHOEBE (in a panic). Sir, I decline to
go.
VALENTINE. Come, Miss Livvy, you are in my hands.
PHOEBE. I decline. I am most determined.
VALENTINE. You admit yourself that you are recovered.
PHOEBE. I do not feel so well now. Aunt
Susan!
MISS SUSAN. Sir-
VALENTINE. If you wish to consult Miss Phoebe-
MISS SUSAN. Oh, no.
VALENTINE. Then the wraps, Miss Susan.
PHOEBE. Auntie, don’t leave me.
VALENTINE. What a refractory patient it is.
But reason with her, Miss
Susan, and I shall ask Miss Phoebe for some wraps.
PHOEBE. Sir!
(To their consternation he goes
cheerily into the bedroom. MISS PHOEBE saves
herself by instant flight, and nothing but mesmeric
influence keeps MISS SUSAN rooted to the blue
and white room. When he returns he is loaded
with wraps, and still cheerfully animated, as if he
had found nothing untoward in LIVVY’S bedchamber.)
VALENTINE. I think these will do admirably,
Miss Susan.
MISS SUSAN. But Phoebe-
VALENTINE. If I swathe Miss Livvy in these-
MISS SUSAN. Phoebe-
VALENTINE. She is still busy
airing the room. (The extraordinary man goes to
the couch as if unable to perceive that its late occupant
has gone, and MISS SUSAN watches him, fascinated.)
Come, Miss Livvy, put these over you. Allow
me-this one over your shoulders, so.
Be so obliging as to lean on me. Be brave,
ma’am, you cannot fall-my arm is
round you; gently, gently, Miss Livvy; ah, that is
better; we are doing famously; come, come. Good-bye,
Miss Susan, I will take every care of her.
(He has gone, with the bundle on
his arm, but MISS SUSAN does not wake up.
Even the banging of the outer door is unable to rouse
her. It is heard, however, by MISS PHOEBE,
who steals back into the room, her cap upon her
head to give her courage.)
PHOEBE. He is gone! (MISS SUSAN’S rapt
face alarms her.) Oh,
Susan, was he as dreadful as that?
MISS SUSAN (in tones unnatural to her).
Phoebe, he knows all.
PHOEBE. Yes, of course he knows all now.
Sister, did his face change?
Oh, Susan, what did he say?
MISS SUSAN. He said ‘Good-bye,
Miss Susan.’ That was almost all he said.
PHOEBE. Did his eyes flash fire?
MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, it was what he did.
He-he took Livvy with him.
PHOEBE. Susan, dear, don’t say that.
You are not distraught, are you?
MISS SUSAN (clinging to facts). He did;
he wrapped her up in a shawl.
PHOEBE. Susan! You are
Susan Throssel, my love. You remember me, don’t
you? Phoebe, your sister. I was Livvy also,
you know, Livvy.
MISS SUSAN. He took Livvy with him.
PHOEBE (in woe). Oh, oh! sister, who
am I?
MISS SUSAN. You are Phoebe.
PHOEBE. And who was Livvy?
MISS SUSAN. You were.
PHOEBE. Thank heaven.
MISS SUSAN. But he took her away in the carriage.
PHOEBE. Oh, dear! (She has quite forgotten
her own troubles now.)
Susan, you will soon be well again. Dear, let
us occupy our minds.
Shall we draw up the advertisement for the reopening
of the school?
MISS SUSAN. I do so hate the school.
PHOEBE. Come, dear, come, sit down. Write,
Susan. (Dictating.)
‘The Misses Throssel have the pleasure to announce-’
MISS SUSAN. Pleasure! Oh, Phoebe.
PHOEBE. ’That they will resume school
on the 5th of next month.
Music, embroidery, the backboard, and all the elegancies
of the mind.
Latin-shall we say algebra?’
MISS SUSAN. I refuse to write algebra.
PHOEBE. -for beginners.
MISS SUSAN. I refuse.
There is only one thing I can write; it writes itself
in my head all day. ’Miss Susan Throssel
presents her compliments to the Misses Willoughby
and Miss Henrietta Turnbull, and requests the honour
of their presence at the nuptials of her sister Phoebe
and Captain Valentine Brown.’
PHOEBE. Susan!
MISS SUSAN. Phoebe! (A door is heard banging.)
He has returned!
PHOEBE. Oh cruel, cruel. Susan, I am so
alarmed.
MISS SUSAN. I will face him.
PHOEBE. Nay, if it must be, I will.
(But when he enters he is not very terrible.)
VALENTINE. Miss Phoebe, it is
not raining, but your face is wet. I wish always
to kiss you when your face is wet.
PHOEBE. Susan!
VALENTINE. Miss Livvy will never
trouble you any more, Miss Susan. I have sent
her home.
MISS SUSAN. Oh, sir, how can you invent such
a story for us.
VALENTINE. I did not.
I invented it for the Misses Willoughby and Miss Henrietta,
who from their windows watched me put her into my
carriage. Patty accompanies her, and in a few
hours Patty will return alone.
MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, he has got rid of Livvy!
PHOEBE. Susan, his face hasn’t changed!
VALENTINE. Dear Phoebe Throssel, will you be
Phoebe Brown?
PHOEBE (quivering). You know everything?
And that I am not a garden?
VALENTINE. I know everything, ma’am-except
that.
PHOEBE (so very glad to be prim
at the end). Sir, the dictates of my heart
enjoin me to accept your too flattering offer. (He
puts her cap in his pocket. He kisses her.
MISS SUSAN is about to steal away.) Oh, sir,
Susan also. (He kisses MISS SUSAN also;
and here we bid them good-bye.)