“Now I wake me up to work;
I pray the Lord I may not shirk.
If I should die before the night,
I pray the Lord my work’s all right.
Amen.”
“If you don’t git up,
Johnny, I won’t give you a bite to eat!”
The threat had no effect on the boy.
He clung stubbornly to sleep, fighting for its oblivion
as the dreamer fights for his dream. The boy’s
hands loosely clenched themselves, and he made feeble,
spasmodic blows at the air. These blows were
intended for his mother, but she betrayed practised
familiarity in avoiding them as she shook him roughly
by the shoulder.
“Lemme ’lone!”
It was a cry that began, muffled,
in the deeps of sleep, that swiftly rushed upward,
like a wail, into passionate belligerence, and that
died away and sank down into an inarticulate whine.
It was a bestial cry, as of a soul in torment, filled
with infinite protest and pain.
But she did not mind. She was
a sad-eyed, tired-faced woman, and she had grown used
to this task, which she repeated every day of her life.
She got a grip on the bedclothes and tried to strip
them down; but the boy, ceasing his punching, clung
to them desperately. In a huddle, at the foot
of the bed, he still remained covered. Then she
tried dragging the bedding to the floor. The
boy opposed her. She braced herself. Hers
was the superior weight, and the boy and bedding gave,
the former instinctively following the latter in order
to shelter against the chill of the room that bit
into his body.
As he toppled on the edge of the bed
it seemed that he must fall head-first to the floor.
But consciousness fluttered up in him. He righted
himself and for a moment perilously balanced.
Then he struck the floor on his feet. On the
instant his mother seized him by the shoulders and
shook him. Again his fists struck out, this time
with more force and directness. At the same time
his eyes opened. She released him. He was
awake.
“All right,” he mumbled.
She caught up the lamp and hurried out, leaving him
in darkness.
“You’ll be docked,” she warned back
to him.
He did not mind the darkness.
When he had got into his clothes, he went out into
the kitchen. His tread was very heavy for so thin
and light a boy. His legs dragged with their
own weight, which seemed unreasonable because they
were such skinny legs. He drew a broken-bottomed
chair to the table.
“Johnny,” his mother called sharply.
He arose as sharply from the chair,
and, without a word, went to the sink. It was
a greasy, filthy sink. A smell came up from the
outlet. He took no notice of it. That a
sink should smell was to him part of the natural order,
just as it was a part of the natural order that the
soap should be grimy with dish-water and hard to lather.
Nor did he try very hard to make it lather. Several
splashes of the cold water from the running faucet
completed the function. He did not wash his teeth.
For that matter he had never seen a toothbrush, nor
did he know that there existed beings in the world
who were guilty of so great a foolishness as tooth
washing.
“You might wash yourself wunst
a day without bein’ told,” his mother
complained.
She was holding a broken lid on the
pot as she poured two cups of coffee. He made
no remark, for this was a standing quarrel between
them, and the one thing upon which his mother was
hard as adamant. “Wunst” a day it
was compulsory that he should wash his face. He
dried himself on a greasy towel, damp and dirty and
ragged, that left his face covered with shreds of
lint.
“I wish we didn’t live
so far away,” she said, as he sat down.
“I try to do the best I can. You know that.
But a dollar on the rent is such a savin’, an’
we’ve more room here. You know that.”
He scarcely followed her. He
had heard it all before, many times. The range
of her thought was limited, and she was ever harking
back to the hardship worked upon them by living so
far from the mills.
“A dollar means more grub,”
he remarked sententiously. “I’d sooner
do the walkin’ an’ git the grub.”
He ate hurriedly, half chewing the
bread and washing the unmasticated chunks down with
coffee. The hot and muddy liquid went by the name
of coffee. Johnny thought it was coffee and
excellent coffee. That was one of the few of
life’s illusions that remained to him. He
had never drunk real coffee in his life.
In addition to the bread, there was
a small piece of cold pork. His mother refilled
his cup with coffee. As he was finishing the bread,
he began to watch if more was forthcoming. She
intercepted his questioning glance.
“Now, don’t be hoggish,
Johnny,” was her comment. “You’ve
had your share. Your brothers an’ sisters
are smaller’n you.”
He did not answer the rebuke.
He was not much of a talker. Also, he ceased
his hungry glancing for more. He was uncomplaining,
with a patience that was as terrible as the school
in which it had been learned. He finished his
coffee, wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, and
started to rise.
“Wait a second,” she said
hastily. “I guess the loaf kin stand you
another slice a thin un.”
There was legerdemain in her actions.
With all the seeming of cutting a slice from the loaf
for him, she put loaf and slice back in the bread
box and conveyed to him one of her own two slices.
She believed she had deceived him, but he had noted
her sleight-of-hand. Nevertheless, he took the
bread shamelessly. He had a philosophy that his
mother, because of her chronic sickliness, was not
much of an eater anyway.
She saw that he was chewing the bread
dry, and reached over and emptied her coffee cup into
his.
“Don’t set good somehow
on my stomach this morning,” she explained.
A distant whistle, prolonged and shrieking,
brought both of them to their feet. She glanced
at the tin alarm-clock on the shelf. The hands
stood at half-past five. The rest of the factory
world was just arousing from sleep. She drew
a shawl about her shoulders, and on her head put a
dingy hat, shapeless and ancient.
“We’ve got to run,”
she said, turning the wick of the lamp and blowing
down the chimney.
They groped their way out and down
the stairs. It was clear and cold, and Johnny
shivered at the first contact with the outside air.
The stars had not yet begun to pale in the sky, and
the city lay in blackness. Both Johnny and his
mother shuffled their feet as they walked. There
was no ambition in the leg muscles to swing the feet
clear of the ground.
After fifteen silent minutes, his
mother turned off to the right.
“Don’t be late,”
was her final warning from out of the dark that was
swallowing her up.
He made no response, steadily keeping
on his way. In the factory quarter, doors were
opening everywhere, and he was soon one of a multitude
that pressed onward through the dark. As he entered
the factory gate the whistle blew again. He glanced
at the east. Across a ragged sky-line of housetops
a pale light was beginning to creep. This much
he saw of the day as he turned his back upon it and
joined his work gang.
He took his place in one of many long
rows of machines. Before him, above a bin filled
with small bobbins, were large bobbins revolving rapidly.
Upon these he wound the jute-twine of the small bobbins.
The work was simple. All that was required was
celerity. The small bobbins were emptied so rapidly,
and there were so many large bobbins that did the
emptying, that there were no idle moments.
He worked mechanically. When
a small bobbin ran out, he used his left hand for
a brake, stopping the large bobbin and at the same
time, with thumb and forefinger, catching the flying
end of twine. Also, at the same time, with his
right hand, he caught up the loose twine-end of a
small bobbin. These various acts with both hands
were performed simultaneously and swiftly. Then
there would come a flash of his hands as he looped
the weaver’s knot and released the bobbin.
There was nothing difficult about weaver’s knots.
He once boasted he could tie them in his sleep.
And for that matter, he sometimes did, toiling centuries
long in a single night at tying an endless succession
of weaver’s knots.
Some of the boys shirked, wasting
time and machinery by not replacing the small bobbins
when they ran out. And there was an overseer to
prevent this. He caught Johnny’s neighbour
at the trick, and boxed his ears.
“Look at Johnny there why
ain’t you like him?” the overseer wrathfully
demanded.
Johnny’s bobbins were running
full blast, but he did not thrill at the indirect
praise. There had been a time... but that was
long ago, very long ago. His apathetic face was
expressionless as he listened to himself being held
up as a shining example. He was the perfect worker.
He knew that. He had been told so, often.
It was a commonplace, and besides it didn’t
seem to mean anything to him any more. From the
perfect worker he had evolved into the perfect machine.
When his work went wrong, it was with him as with
the machine, due to faulty material. It would
have been as possible for a perfect nail-die to cut
imperfect nails as for him to make a mistake.
And small wonder. There had never
been a time when he had not been in intimate relationship
with machines. Machinery had almost been bred
into him, and at any rate he had been brought up on
it. Twelve years before, there had been a small
flutter of excitement in the loom room of this very
mill. Johnny’s mother had fainted.
They stretched her out on the floor in the midst of
the shrieking machines. A couple of elderly women
were called from their looms. The foreman assisted.
And in a few minutes there was one more soul in the
loom room than had entered by the doors. It was
Johnny, born with the pounding, crashing roar of the
looms in his ears, drawing with his first breath the
warm, moist air that was thick with flying lint.
He had coughed that first day in order to rid his
lungs of the lint; and for the same reason he had coughed
ever since.
The boy alongside of Johnny whimpered
and sniffed. The boy’s face was convulsed
with hatred for the overseer who kept a threatening
eye on him from a distance; but every bobbin was running
full. The boy yelled terrible oaths into the
whirling bobbins before him; but the sound did not
carry half a dozen feet, the roaring of the room holding
it in and containing it like a wall.
Of all this Johnny took no notice.
He had a way of accepting things. Besides, things
grow monotonous by repetition, and this particular
happening he had witnessed many times. It seemed
to him as useless to oppose the overseer as to defy
the will of a machine. Machines were made to
go in certain ways and to perform certain tasks.
It was the same with the overseer.
But at eleven o’clock there
was excitement in the room. In an apparently
occult way the excitement instantly permeated everywhere.
The one-legged boy who worked on the other side of
Johnny bobbed swiftly across the floor to a bin truck
that stood empty. Into this he dived out of sight,
crutch and all. The superintendent of the mill
was coming along, accompanied by a young man.
He was well dressed and wore a starched shirt a
gentleman, in Johnny’s classification of men,
and also, “the Inspector.”
He looked sharply at the boys as he
passed along. Sometimes he stopped and asked
questions. When he did so, he was compelled to
shout at the top of his lungs, at which moments his
face was ludicrously contorted with the strain of
making himself heard. His quick eye noted the
empty machine alongside of Johnny’s, but he
said nothing. Johnny also caught his eye, and
he stopped abruptly. He caught Johnny by the arm
to draw him back a step from the machine; but with
an exclamation of surprise he released the arm.
“Pretty skinny,” the superintendent laughed
anxiously.
“Pipe stems,” was the
answer. “Look at those legs. The boy’s
got the rickets incipient, but he’s
got them. If epilepsy doesn’t get him in
the end, it will be because tuberculosis gets him first.”
Johnny listened, but did not understand.
Furthermore he was not interested in future ills.
There was an immediate and more serious ill that threatened
him in the form of the inspector.
“Now, my boy, I want you to
tell me the truth,” the inspector said, or shouted,
bending close to the boy’s ear to make him hear.
“How old are you?”
“Fourteen,” Johnny lied,
and he lied with the full force of his lungs.
So loudly did he lie that it started him off in a dry,
hacking cough that lifted the lint which had been
settling in his lungs all morning.
“Looks sixteen at least,” said the superintendent.
“Or sixty,” snapped the inspector.
“He’s always looked that way.”
“How long?” asked the inspector, quickly.
“For years. Never gets a bit older.”
“Or younger, I dare say. I suppose he’s
worked here all those years?”
“Off and on but that
was before the new law was passed,” the superintendent
hastened to add.
“Machine idle?” the inspector
asked, pointing at the unoccupied machine beside Johnny’s,
in which the part-filled bobbins were flying like mad.
“Looks that way.”
The superintendent motioned the overseer to him and
shouted in his ear and pointed at the machine.
“Machine’s idle,” he reported back
to the inspector.
They passed on, and Johnny returned
to his work, relieved in that the ill had been averted.
But the one-legged boy was not so fortunate. The
sharp-eyed inspector haled him out at arms length from
the bin truck. His lips were quivering, and his
face had all the expression of one upon whom was fallen
profound and irremediable disaster. The overseer
looked astounded, as though for the first time he
had laid eyes on the boy, while the superintendent’s
face expressed shock and displeasure.
“I know him,” the inspector
said. “He’s twelve years old.
I’ve had him discharged from three factories
inside the year. This makes the fourth.”
He turned to the one-legged boy.
“You promised me, word and honour, that you’d
go to school.”
The one-legged boy burst into tears.
“Please, Mr. Inspector, two babies died on us,
and we’re awful poor.”
“What makes you cough that way?”
the inspector demanded, as though charging him with
crime.
And as in denial of guilt, the one-legged
boy replied: “It ain’t nothin’.
I jes’ caught a cold last week, Mr. Inspector,
that’s all.”
In the end the one-legged boy went
out of the room with the inspector, the latter accompanied
by the anxious and protesting superintendent.
After that monotony settled down again. The long
morning and the longer afternoon wore away and the
whistle blew for quitting time. Darkness had
already fallen when Johnny passed out through the factory
gate. In the interval the sun had made a golden
ladder of the sky, flooded the world with its gracious
warmth, and dropped down and disappeared in the west
behind a ragged sky-line of housetops.
Supper was the family meal of the
day the one meal at which Johnny encountered
his younger brothers and sisters. It partook of
the nature of an encounter, to him, for he was very
old, while they were distressingly young. He
had no patience with their excessive and amazing juvenility.
He did not understand it. His own childhood was
too far behind him. He was like an old and irritable
man, annoyed by the turbulence of their young spirits
that was to him arrant silliness. He glowered
silently over his food, finding compensation in the
thought that they would soon have to go to work.
That would take the edge off of them and make them
sedate and dignified like him. Thus
it was, after the fashion of the human, that Johnny
made of himself a yardstick with which to measure
the universe.
During the meal, his mother explained
in various ways and with infinite repetition that
she was trying to do the best she could; so that it
was with relief, the scant meal ended, that Johnny
shoved back his chair and arose. He debated for
a moment between bed and the front door, and finally
went out the latter. He did not go far. He
sat down on the stoop, his knees drawn up and his
narrow shoulders drooping forward, his elbows on his
knees and the palms of his hands supporting his chin.
As he sat there, he did no thinking.
He was just resting. So far as his mind was concerned,
it was asleep. His brothers and sisters came out,
and with other children played noisily about him.
An electric globe at the corner lighted their frolics.
He was peevish and irritable, that they knew; but
the spirit of adventure lured them into teasing him.
They joined hands before him, and, keeping time with
their bodies, chanted in his face weird and uncomplimentary
doggerel. At first he snarled curses at them curses
he had learned from the lips of various foremen.
Finding this futile, and remembering his dignity,
he relapsed into dogged silence.
His brother Will, next to him in age,
having just passed his tenth birthday, was the ringleader.
Johnny did not possess particularly kindly feelings
toward him. His life had early been embittered
by continual giving over and giving way to Will.
He had a definite feeling that Will was greatly in
his debt and was ungrateful about it. In his own
playtime, far back in the dim past, he had been robbed
of a large part of that playtime by being compelled
to take care of Will. Will was a baby then, and
then, as now, their mother had spent her days in the
mills. To Johnny had fallen the part of little
father and little mother as well.
Will seemed to show the benefit of
the giving over and the giving way. He was well-built,
fairly rugged, as tall as his elder brother and even
heavier. It was as though the life-blood of the
one had been diverted into the other’s veins.
And in spirits it was the same. Johnny was jaded,
worn out, without resilience, while his younger brother
seemed bursting and spilling over with exuberance.
The mocking chant rose louder and
louder. Will leaned closer as he danced, thrusting
out his tongue. Johnny’s left arm shot out
and caught the other around the neck. At the
same time he rapped his bony fist to the other’s
nose. It was a pathetically bony fist, but that
it was sharp to hurt was evidenced by the squeal of
pain it produced. The other children were uttering
frightened cries, while Johnny’s sister, Jennie,
had dashed into the house.
He thrust Will from him, kicked him
savagely on the shins, then reached for him and slammed
him face downward in the dirt. Nor did he release
him till the face had been rubbed into the dirt several
times. Then the mother arrived, an anæmic whirlwind
of solicitude and maternal wrath.
“Why can’t he leave me
alone?” was Johnny’s reply to her upbraiding.
“Can’t he see I’m tired?”
“I’m as big as you,”
Will raged in her arms, his face a mass of tears,
dirt, and blood. “I’m as big as you
now, an’ I’m goin’ to git bigger.
Then I’ll lick you see if I don’t.”
“You ought to be to work, seein’
how big you are,” Johnny snarled. “That’s
what’s the matter with you. You ought to
be to work. An’ it’s up to your ma
to put you to work.”
“But he’s too young,”
she protested. “He’s only a little
boy.”
“I was younger’n him when I started to
work.”
Johnny’s mouth was open, further
to express the sense of unfairness that he felt, but
the mouth closed with a snap. He turned gloomily
on his heel and stalked into the house and to bed.
The door of his room was open to let in warmth from
the kitchen. As he undressed in the semi-darkness
he could hear his mother talking with a neighbour woman
who had dropped in. His mother was crying, and
her speech was punctuated with spiritless sniffles.
“I can’t make out what’s
gittin’ into Johnny,” he could hear her
say. “He didn’t used to be this way.
He was a patient little angel.
“An’ he is a good boy,”
she hastened to defend. “He’s worked
faithful, an’ he did go to work too young.
But it wasn’t my fault. I do the best I
can, I’m sure.”
Prolonged sniffling from the kitchen,
and Johnny murmured to himself as his eyelids closed
down, “You betcher life I’ve worked faithful.”
The next morning he was torn bodily
by his mother from the grip of sleep. Then came
the meagre breakfast, the tramp through the dark, and
the pale glimpse of day across the housetops as he
turned his back on it and went in through the factory
gate. It was another day, of all the days, and
all the days were alike.
And yet there had been variety in
his life at the times he changed from one
job to another, or was taken sick. When he was
six, he was little mother and father to Will and the
other children still younger. At seven he went
into the mills winding bobbins. When
he was eight, he got work in another mill. His
new job was marvellously easy. All he had to do
was to sit down with a little stick in his hand and
guide a stream of cloth that flowed past him.
This stream of cloth came out of the maw of a machine,
passed over a hot roller, and went on its way elsewhere.
But he sat always in one place, beyond the reach of
daylight, a gas-jet flaring over him, himself part
of the mechanism.
He was very happy at that job, in
spite of the moist heat, for he was still young and
in possession of dreams and illusions. And wonderful
dreams he dreamed as he watched the steaming cloth
streaming endlessly by. But there was no exercise
about the work, no call upon his mind, and he dreamed
less and less, while his mind grew torpid and drowsy.
Nevertheless, he earned two dollars a week, and two
dollars represented the difference between acute starvation
and chronic underfeeding.
But when he was nine, he lost his
job. Measles was the cause of it. After
he recovered, he got work in a glass factory.
The pay was better, and the work demanded skill.
It was piecework, and the more skilful he was, the
bigger wages he earned. Here was incentive.
And under this incentive he developed into a remarkable
worker.
It was simple work, the tying of glass
stoppers into small bottles. At his waist he
carried a bundle of twine. He held the bottles
between his knees so that he might work with both
hands. Thus, in a sitting position and bending
over his own knees, his narrow shoulders grew humped
and his chest was contracted for ten hours each day.
This was not good for the lungs, but he tied three
hundred dozen bottles a day.
The superintendent was very proud
of him, and brought visitors to look at him.
In ten hours three hundred dozen bottles passed through
his hands. This meant that he had attained machine-like
perfection. All waste movements were eliminated.
Every motion of his thin arms, every movement of a
muscle in the thin fingers, was swift and accurate.
He worked at high tension, and the result was that
he grew nervous. At night his muscles twitched
in his sleep, and in the daytime he could not relax
and rest. He remained keyed up and his muscles
continued to twitch. Also he grew sallow and
his lint-cough grew worse. Then pneumonia laid
hold of the feeble lungs within the contracted chest,
and he lost his job in the glass-works.
Now he had returned to the jute mills
where he had first begun with winding bobbins.
But promotion was waiting for him. He was a good
worker. He would next go on the starcher, and
later he would go into the loom room. There was
nothing after that except increased efficiency.
The machinery ran faster than when
he had first gone to work, and his mind ran slower.
He no longer dreamed at all, though his earlier years
had been full of dreaming. Once he had been in
love. It was when he first began guiding the
cloth over the hot roller, and it was with the daughter
of the superintendent. She was much older than
he, a young woman, and he had seen her at a distance
only a paltry half-dozen times. But that made
no difference. On the surface of the cloth stream
that poured past him, he pictured radiant futures
wherein he performed prodigies of toil, invented miraculous
machines, won to the mastership of the mills, and
in the end took her in his arms and kissed her soberly
on the brow.
But that was all in the long ago,
before he had grown too old and tired to love.
Also, she had married and gone away, and his mind had
gone to sleep. Yet it had been a wonderful experience,
and he used often to look back upon it as other men
and women look back upon the time they believed in
fairies. He had never believed in fairies nor
Santa Claus; but he had believed implicitly in the
smiling future his imagination had wrought into the
steaming cloth stream.
He had become a man very early in
life. At seven, when he drew his first wages,
began his adolescence. A certain feeling of independence
crept up in him, and the relationship between him
and his mother changed. Somehow, as an earner
and breadwinner, doing his own work in the world,
he was more like an equal with her. Manhood, full-blown
manhood, had come when he was eleven, at which time
he had gone to work on the night shift for six months.
No child works on the night shift and remains a child.
There had been several great events
in his life. One of these had been when his mother
bought some California prunes. Two others had
been the two times when she cooked custard. Those
had been events. He remembered them kindly.
And at that time his mother had told him of a blissful
dish she would sometime make “floating
island,” she had called it, “better than
custard.” For years he had looked forward
to the day when he would sit down to the table with
floating island before him, until at last he had relegated
the idea of it to the limbo of unattainable ideals.
Once he found a silver quarter lying
on the sidewalk. That, also, was a great event
in his life, withal a tragic one. He knew his
duty on the instant the silver flashed on his eyes,
before even he had picked it up. At home, as
usual, there was not enough to eat, and home he should
have taken it as he did his wages every Saturday night.
Right conduct in this case was obvious; but he never
had any spending of his money, and he was suffering
from candy hunger. He was ravenous for the sweets
that only on red-letter days he had ever tasted in
his life.
He did not attempt to deceive himself.
He knew it was sin, and deliberately he sinned when
he went on a fifteen-cent candy debauch. Ten
cents he saved for a future orgy; but not being accustomed
to the carrying of money, he lost the ten cents.
This occurred at the time when he was suffering all
the torments of conscience, and it was to him an act
of divine retribution. He had a frightened sense
of the closeness of an awful and wrathful God.
God had seen, and God had been swift to punish, denying
him even the full wages of sin.
In memory he always looked back upon
that as the one great criminal deed of his life, and
at the recollection his conscience always awoke and
gave him another twinge. It was the one skeleton
in his closet. Also, being so made, and circumstanced,
he looked back upon the deed with regret. He
was dissatisfied with the manner in which he had spent
the quarter. He could have invested it better,
and, out of his later knowledge of the quickness of
God, he would have beaten God out by spending the
whole quarter at one fell swoop. In retrospect
he spent the quarter a thousand times, and each time
to better advantage.
There was one other memory of the
past, dim and faded, but stamped into his soul everlasting
by the savage feet of his father. It was more
like a nightmare than a remembered vision of a concrete
thing more like the race-memory of man
that makes him fall in his sleep and that goes back
to his arboreal ancestry.
This particular memory never came
to Johnny in broad daylight when he was wide awake.
It came at night, in bed, at the moment that his consciousness
was sinking down and losing itself in sleep. It
always aroused him to frightened wakefulness, and
for the moment, in the first sickening start, it seemed
to him that he lay crosswise on the foot of the bed.
In the bed were the vague forms of his father and mother.
He never saw what his father looked like. He
had but one impression of his father, and that was
that he had savage and pitiless feet.
His earlier memories lingered with
him, but he had no late memories. All days were
alike. Yesterday or last year were the same as
a thousand years or a minute. Nothing
ever happened. There were no events to mark the
march of time. Time did not march. It stood
always still. It was only the whirling machines
that moved, and they moved nowhere in spite
of the fact that they moved faster.
When he was fourteen, he went to work
on the starcher. It was a colossal event.
Something had at last happened that could be remembered
beyond a night’s sleep or a week’s pay-day.
It marked an era. It was a machine Olympiad,
a thing to date from. “When I went to work
on the starcher,” or, “after,” or
“before I went to work on the starcher,”
were sentences often on his lips.
He celebrated his sixteenth birthday
by going into the loom room and taking a loom.
Here was an incentive again, for it was piece-work.
And he excelled, because the clay of him had been
moulded by the mills into the perfect machine.
At the end of three months he was running two looms,
and, later, three and four.
At the end of his second year at the
looms he was turning out more yards than any other
weaver, and more than twice as much as some of the
less skilful ones. And at home things began to
prosper as he approached the full stature of his earning
power. Not, however, that his increased earnings
were in excess of need. The children were growing
up. They ate more. And they were going to
school, and school-books cost money. And somehow,
the faster he worked, the faster climbed the prices
of things. Even the rent went up, though the
house had fallen from bad to worse disrepair.
He had grown taller; but with his
increased height he seemed leaner than ever.
Also, he was more nervous. With the nervousness
increased his peevishness and irritability. The
children had learned by many bitter lessons to fight
shy of him. His mother respected him for his earning
power, but somehow her respect was tinctured with fear.
There was no joyousness in life for
him. The procession of the days he never saw.
The nights he slept away in twitching unconsciousness.
The rest of the time he worked, and his consciousness
was machine consciousness. Outside this his mind
was a blank. He had no ideals, and but one illusion;
namely, that he drank excellent coffee. He was
a work-beast. He had no mental life whatever;
yet deep down in the crypts of his mind, unknown to
him, were being weighed and sifted every hour of his
toil, every movement of his hands, every twitch of
his muscles, and preparations were making for a future
course of action that would amaze him and all his
little world.
It was in the late spring that he
came home from work one night aware of unusual tiredness.
There was a keen expectancy in the air as he sat down
to the table, but he did not notice. He went through
the meal in moody silence, mechanically eating what
was before him. The children um’d and ah’d
and made smacking noises with their mouths. But
he was deaf to them.
“D’ye know what you’re
eatin’?” his mother demanded at last,
desperately.
He looked vacantly at the dish before
him, and vacantly at her.
“Floatin’ island,” she announced
triumphantly.
“Oh,” he said.
“Floating island!” the children chorussed
loudly.
“Oh,” he said. And
after two or three mouthfuls, he added, “I guess
I ain’t hungry to-night.”
He dropped the spoon, shoved back
his chair, and arose wearily from the table.
“An’ I guess I’ll go to bed.”
His feet dragged more heavily than
usual as he crossed the kitchen floor. Undressing
was a Titan’s task, a monstrous futility, and
he wept weakly as he crawled into bed, one shoe still
on. He was aware of a rising, swelling something
inside his head that made his brain thick and fuzzy.
His lean fingers felt as big as his wrist, while in
the ends of them was a remoteness of sensation vague
and fuzzy like his brain. The small of his back
ached intolerably. All his bones ached. He
ached everywhere. And in his head began the shrieking,
pounding, crashing, roaring of a million looms.
All space was filled with flying shuttles. They
darted in and out, intricately, amongst the stars.
He worked a thousand looms himself, and ever they
speeded up, faster and faster, and his brain unwound,
faster and faster, and became the thread that fed the
thousand flying shuttles.
He did not go to work next morning.
He was too busy weaving colossally on the thousand
looms that ran inside his head. His mother went
to work, but first she sent for the doctor. It
was a severe attack of la grippe, he said. Jennie
served as nurse and carried out his instructions.
It was a very severe attack, and it
was a week before Johnny dressed and tottered feebly
across the floor. Another week, the doctor said,
and he would be fit to return to work. The foreman
of the loom room visited him on Sunday afternoon,
the first day of his convalescence. The best weaver
in the room, the foreman told his mother. His
job would be held for him. He could come back
to work a week from Monday.
“Why don’t you thank ’im,
Johnny?” his mother asked anxiously.
“He’s ben that sick
he ain’t himself yet,” she explained apologetically
to the visitor.
Johnny sat hunched up and gazing steadfastly
at the floor. He sat in the same position long
after the foreman had gone. It was warm outdoors,
and he sat on the stoop in the afternoon. Sometimes
his lips moved. He seemed lost in endless calculations.
Next morning, after the day grew warm,
he took his seat on the stoop. He had pencil
and paper this time with which to continue his calculations,
and he calculated painfully and amazingly.
“What comes after millions?”
he asked at noon, when Will came home from school.
“An’ how d’ye work ’em?”
That afternoon finished his task.
Each day, but without paper and pencil, he returned
to the stoop. He was greatly absorbed in the one
tree that grew across the street. He studied it
for hours at a time, and was unusually interested
when the wind swayed its branches and fluttered its
leaves. Throughout the week he seemed lost in
a great communion with himself. On Sunday, sitting
on the stoop, he laughed aloud, several times, to
the perturbation of his mother, who had not heard him
laugh for years.
Next morning, in the early darkness,
she came to his bed to rouse him. He had had
his fill of sleep all the week, and awoke easily.
He made no struggle, nor did he attempt to hold on
to the bedding when she stripped it from him.
He lay quietly, and spoke quietly.
“It ain’t no use, ma.”
“You’ll be late,”
she said, under the impression that he was still stupid
with sleep.
“I’m awake, ma, an’
I tell you it ain’t no use. You might as
well lemme alone. I ain’t goin’
to git up.”
“But you’ll lose your job!” she
cried.
“I ain’t goin’ to git up,”
he repeated in a strange, passionless voice.
She did not go to work herself that
morning. This was sickness beyond any sickness
she had ever known. Fever and delirium she could
understand; but this was insanity. She pulled
the bedding up over him and sent Jennie for the doctor.
When that person arrived, Johnny was
sleeping gently, and gently he awoke and allowed his
pulse to be taken.
“Nothing the matter with him,”
the doctor reported. “Badly debilitated,
that’s all. Not much meat on his bones.”
“He’s always been that way,” his
mother volunteered.
“Now go ‘way, ma, an’ let me finish
my snooze.”
Johnny spoke sweetly and placidly,
and sweetly and placidly he rolled over on his side
and went to sleep.
At ten o’clock he awoke and
dressed himself. He walked out into the kitchen,
where he found his mother with a frightened expression
on her face.
“I’m goin’ away,
ma,” he announced, “an’ I jes’
want to say good-bye.”
She threw her apron over her head
and sat down suddenly and wept. He waited patiently.
“I might a-known it,” she was sobbing.
“Where?” she finally asked,
removing the apron from her head and gazing up at
him with a stricken face in which there was little
curiosity.
“I don’t know anywhere.”
As he spoke, the tree across the street
appeared with dazzling brightness on his inner vision.
It seemed to lurk just under his eyelids, and he could
see it whenever he wished.
“An’ your job?” she quavered.
“I ain’t never goin’ to work again.”
“My God, Johnny!” she wailed, “don’t
say that!”
What he had said was blasphemy to
her. As a mother who hears her child deny God,
was Johnny’s mother shocked by his words.
“What’s got into you,
anyway?” she demanded, with a lame attempt at
imperativeness.
“Figures,” he answered.
“Jes’ figures. I’ve ben
doin’ a lot of figurín’ this week,
an’ it’s most surprisin’.”
“I don’t see what that’s
got to do with it,” she sniffled.
Johnny smiled patiently, and his mother
was aware of a distinct shock at the persistent absence
of his peevishness and irritability.
“I’ll show you,”
he said. “I’m plum’ tired out.
What makes me tired? Moves. I’ve ben
movin’ ever since I was born. I’m
tired of movin’, an’ I ain’t goin’
to move any more. Remember when I worked in the
glass-house? I used to do three hundred dozen
a day. Now I reckon I made about ten different
moves to each bottle. That’s thirty-six
thousan’ moves a day. Ten days, three hundred
an’ sixty thousan’ moves. One month,
one million an’ eighty thousan’ moves.
Chuck out the eighty thousan’” he
spoke with the complacent beneficence of a philanthropist “chuck
out the eighty thousan’, that leaves a million
moves a month twelve million moves a year.
“At the looms I’m movin’
twic’st as much. That makes twenty-five
million moves a year, an’ it seems to me I’ve
ben a movin’ that way ’most a million
years.
“Now this week I ain’t
moved at all. I ain’t made one move in hours
an’ hours. I tell you it was swell, jes’
settin’ there, hours an’ hours, an’
doin’ nothin’. I ain’t never
ben happy before. I never had any time.
I’ve ben movin’ all the time.
That ain’t no way to be happy. An’
I ain’t going to do it any more. I’m
jes’ goin’ to set, an’ set, an’
rest, an’ rest, and then rest some more.”
“But what’s goin’
to come of Will an’ the children?” she
asked despairingly.
“That’s it, ‘Will an’ the
children,’” he repeated.
But there was no bitterness in his
voice. He had long known his mother’s ambition
for the younger boy, but the thought of it no longer
rankled. Nothing mattered any more. Not
even that.
“I know, ma, what you’ve
ben plannin’ for Will keepin’
him in school to make a book-keeper out of him.
But it ain’t no use, I’ve quit. He’s
got to go to work.”
“An’ after I have brung
you up the way I have,” she wept, starting to
cover her head with the apron and changing her mind.
“You never brung me up,”
he answered with sad kindliness. “I brung
myself up, ma, an’ I brung up Will. He’s
bigger’n me, an’ heavier, an’ taller.
When I was a kid, I reckon I didn’t git enough
to eat. When he come along an’ was a kid,
I was workin’ an’ earnin’ grub for
him too. But that’s done with. Will
can go to work, same as me, or he can go to hell,
I don’t care which. I’m tired.
I’m goin’ now. Ain’t you goin’
to say goodbye?”
She made no reply. The apron
had gone over her head again, and she was crying.
He paused a moment in the doorway.
“I’m sure I done the best I knew how,”
she was sobbing.
He passed out of the house and down
the street. A wan delight came into his face
at the sight of the lone tree. “Jes’
ain’t goin’ to do nothin’,”
he said to himself, half aloud, in a crooning tone.
He glanced wistfully up at the sky, but the bright
sun dazzled and blinded him.
It was a long walk he took, and he
did not walk fast. It took him past the jute-mill.
The muffled roar of the loom room came to his ears,
and he smiled. It was a gentle, placid smile.
He hated no one, not even the pounding, shrieking
machines. There was no bitterness in him, nothing
but an inordinate hunger for rest.
The houses and factories thinned out
and the open spaces increased as he approached the
country. At last the city was behind him, and
he was walking down a leafy lane beside the railroad
track. He did not walk like a man. He did
not look like a man. He was a travesty of the
human. It was a twisted and stunted and nameless
piece of life that shambled like a sickly ape, arms
loose-hanging, stoop-shouldered, narrow-chested, grotesque
and terrible.
He passed by a small railroad station
and lay down in the grass under a tree. All afternoon
he lay there. Sometimes he dozed, with muscles
that twitched in his sleep. When awake, he lay
without movement, watching the birds or looking up
at the sky through the branches of the tree above
him. Once or twice he laughed aloud, but without
relevance to anything he had seen or felt.
After twilight had gone, in the first
darkness of the night, a freight train rumbled into
the station. When the engine was switching cars
on to the side-track, Johnny crept along the side
of the train. He pulled open the side-door of
an empty box-car and awkwardly and laboriously climbed
in. He closed the door. The engine whistled.
Johnny was lying down, and in the darkness he smiled.