He drained his third cup of watery
tea to the dregs and set to chewing the crusts of
fried bread that were scattered near him, staring into
the dark pool of the jar. The yellow dripping
had been scooped out like a boghole and the pool under
it brought back to his memory the dark turf-coloured
water of the bath in Clongowes. The box of pawn
tickets at his elbow had just been rifled and he took
up idly one after another in his greasy fingers the
blue and white dockets, scrawled and sanded and creased
and bearing the name of the pledger as Daly or MacEvoy.
1 Pair Buskin D. Coa Articles
and Whit Man’s Pants.
Then he put them aside and gazed thoughtfully
at the lid of the box, speckled with louse marks,
and asked vaguely:
How much is the clock fast now?
His mother straightened the battered
alarm clock that was lying on its side in the middle
of the mantelpiece until its dial showed a quarter
to twelve and then laid it once more on its side.
An hour and twenty-five
minutes, she said. The right time now is twenty
past ten. The dear knows you might try to be in
time for your lectures.
Fill out the place for me to wash, said
Stephen.
Katey, fill out the place for Stephen
to wash.
Boody, fill out the place for Stephen
to wash.
I can’t, I’m going for blue.
Fill it out, you, Maggy.
When the enamelled basin had been
fitted into the well of the sink and the old washing
glove flung on the side of it he allowed his mother
to scrub his neck and root into the folds of his ears
and into the interstices at the wings of his nose.
Well, it’s a poor
case, she said, when a university student is so dirty
that his mother has to wash him.
But it gives you pleasure, said Stephen
calmly.
An ear-splitting whistle was heard
from upstairs and his mother thrust a damp overall
into his hands, saying:
Dry yourself and hurry out for the love
of goodness.
A second shrill whistle, prolonged
angrily, brought one of the girls to the foot of the
staircase.
Yes, father?
Is your lazy bitch of a brother gone out
yet?
Yes, father.
Sure?
Yes, father.
Hm!
The girl came back, making signs to
him to be quick and go out quietly by the back.
Stephen laughed and said:
He has a curious idea of genders if he
thinks a bitch is masculine.
Ah, it’s a scandalous
shame for you, Stephen, said his mother, and you’ll
live to rue the day you set your foot in that place.
I know how it has changed you.
Good morning, everybody,
said Stephen, smiling and kissing the tips of his
fingers in adieu.
The lane behind the terrace was waterlogged
and as he went down it slowly, choosing his steps
amid heaps of wet rubbish, he heard a mad nun screeching
in the nuns’ madhouse beyond the wall.
Jesus! O Jesus! Jesus!
He shook the sound out of his ears
by an angry toss of his head and hurried on, stumbling
through the mouldering offal, his heart already bitten
by an ache of loathing and bitterness. His father’s
whistle, his mother’s mutterings, the screech
of an unseen maniac were to him now so many voices
offending and threatening to humble the pride of his
youth. He drove their echoes even out of his
heart with an execration; but, as he walked down the
avenue and felt the grey morning light falling about
him through the dripping trees and smelt the strange
wild smell of the wet leaves and bark, his soul was
loosed of her miseries.
The rain-laden trees of the avenue
evoked in him, as always, memories of the girls and
women in the plays of Gerhart Hauptmann; and the memory
of their pale sorrows and the fragrance falling from
the wet branches mingled in a mood of quiet joy.
His morning walk across the city had begun, and he
foreknew that as he passed the sloblands of Fairview
he would think of the cloistral silver-veined prose
of Newman; that as he walked along the North Strand
Road, glancing idly at the windows of the provision
shops, he would recall the dark humour of Guido Cavalcanti
and smile; that as he went by Baird’s stonecutting
works in Talbot Place the spirit of Ibsen would blow
through him like a keen wind, a spirit of wayward
boyish beauty; and that passing a grimy marine dealer’s
shop beyond the Liffey he would repeat the song by
Ben Jonson which begins:
I was not wearier where I
lay.
His mind when wearied of its search
for the essence of beauty amid the spectral words
of Aristotle or Aquinas turned often for its pleasure
to the dainty songs of the Elizabethans. His
mind, in the vesture of a doubting monk, stood often
in shadow under the windows of that age, to hear the
grave and mocking music of the lutenists or the frank
laughter of waist-coateers until a laugh too low,
a phrase, tarnished by time, of chambering and false
honour stung his monkish pride and drove him on from
his lurking-place.
The lore which he was believed to
pass his days brooding upon so that it had rapt him
from the companionship of youth was only a garner of
slender sentences from Aristotle’s poetics and
psychology and a synopsis philosophiae scholasticae
ad MENTEM divi Thomae. His thinking
was a dusk of doubt and self-mistrust, lit up at moments
by the lightnings of intuition, but lightnings of
so clear a splendour that in those moments the world
perished about his feet as if it had been fire-consumed;
and thereafter his tongue grew heavy and he met the
eyes of others with unanswering eyes, for he felt
that the spirit of beauty had folded him round like
a mantle and that in revery at least he had been acquainted
with nobility. But when this brief pride of silence
upheld him no longer he was glad to find himself still
in the midst of common lives, passing on his way amid
the squalor and noise and sloth of the city fearlessly
and with a light heart.
Near the hoardings on the canal he
met the consumptive man with the doll’s face
and the brimless hat coming towards him down the slope
of the bridge with little steps, tightly buttoned
into his chocolate overcoat, and holding his furled
umbrella a span or two from him like a divining rod.
It must be eleven, he thought, and peered into a dairy
to see the time. The clock in the dairy told
him that it was five minutes to five but, as he turned
away, he heard a clock somewhere near him, but unseen,
beating eleven strokes in swift precision. He
laughed as he heard it for it made him think of McCann,
and he saw him a squat figure in a shooting jacket
and breeches and with a fair goatee, standing in the
wind at Hopkins’ corner, and heard him say:
Dedalus, you’re
an antisocial being, wrapped up in yourself. I’m
not. I’m a democrat and I’ll work
and act for social liberty and equality among all
classes and sexes in the United States of the Europe
of the future.
Eleven! Then he was late for
that lecture too. What day of the week was it?
He stopped at a newsagent’s to read the headline
of a placard. Thursday. Ten to eleven, English;
eleven to twelve, French; twelve to one, physics.
He fancied to himself the English lecture and felt,
even at that distance, restless and helpless.
He saw the heads of his classmates meekly bent as
they wrote in their notebooks the points they were
bidden to note, nominal definitions, essential definitions
and examples or dates of birth or death, chief works,
a favourable and an unfavourable criticism side by
side. His own head was unbent for his thoughts
wandered abroad and whether he looked around the little
class of students or out of the window across the
desolate gardens of the green an odour assailed him
of cheerless cellar-damp and decay. Another head
than his, right before him in the first benches, was
poised squarely above its bending fellows like the
head of a priest appealing without humility to the
tabernacle for the humble worshippers about him.
Why was it that when he thought of Cranly he could
never raise before his mind the entire image of his
body but only the image of the head and face?
Even now against the grey curtain of the morning he
saw it before him like the phantom of a dream, the
face of a severed head or death-mask, crowned on the
brows by its stiff black upright hair as by an iron
crown. It was a priest-like face, priest-like
in its palor, in the wide winged nose, in the
shadowings below the eyes and along the jaws, priest-like
in the lips that were long and bloodless and faintly
smiling; and Stephen, remembering swiftly how he had
told Cranly of all the tumults and unrest and longings
in his soul, day after day and night by night, only
to be answered by his friend’s listening silence,
would have told himself that it was the face of a guilty
priest who heard confessions of those whom he had
not power to absolve but that he felt again in memory
the gaze of its dark womanish eyes.
Through this image he had a glimpse
of a strange dark cavern of speculation but at once
turned away from it, feeling that it was not yet the
hour to enter it. But the nightshade of his friend’s
listlessness seemed to be diffusing in the air around
him a tenuous and deadly exhalation and He found himself
glancing from one casual word to another on his right
or left in stolid wonder that they had been so silently
emptied of instantaneous sense until every mean shop
legend bound his mind like the words of a spell and
his soul shrivelled up sighing with age as he walked
on in a lane among heaps of dead language. His
own consciousness of language was ebbing from his brain
and trickling into the very words themselves which
set to band and disband themselves in wayward rhythms:
The ivy whines upon the wall,
And whines and twines upon
the wall,
The yellow ivy upon the wall,
Ivy, ivy up the wall.
Did anyone ever hear such drivel?
Lord Almighty! Who ever heard of ivy whining
on a wall? Yellow ivy; that was all right.
Yellow ivory also. And what about ivory ivy?
The word now shone in his brain, clearer
and brighter than any ivory sawn from the mottled
tusks of elephants. Ivory, ivoire, avorio,
ebur. One of the first examples that he
had learnt in Latin had run: India MITTIT
ebur; and he recalled the shrewd northern face
of the rector who had taught him to construe the Metamorphoses
of Ovid in a courtly English, made whimsical by the
mention of porkers and potsherds and chines of bacon.
He had learnt what little he knew of the laws of Latin
verse from a ragged book written by a Portuguese priest.
Contrahit orator, variant
in carmine vates.
The crises and victories and sécessions
in Roman history were handed on to him in the trite
words in tanto discrimine and he had
tried to peer into the social life of the city of
cities through the words implere OLLAM DENARIORUM
which the rector had rendered sonorously as the filling
of a pot with denaries. The pages of his time-worn
Horace never felt cold to the touch even when his
own fingers were cold; they were human pages and fifty
years before they had been turned by the human fingers
of John Duncan Inverarity and by his brother, William
Malcolm Inverarity. Yes, those were noble names
on the dusky flyleaf and, even for so poor a Latinist
as he, the dusky verses were as fragrant as though
they had lain all those years in myrtle and lavender
and vervain; but yet it wounded him to think that
he would never be but a shy guest at the feast of
the world’s culture and that the monkish learning,
in terms of which he was striving to forge out an esthetic
philosophy, was held no higher by the age he lived
in than the subtle and curious jargons of heraldry
and falconry.
The grey block of Trinity on his left,
set heavily in the city’s ignorance like a dull
stone set in a cumbrous ring, pulled his mind downward
and while he was striving this way and that to free
his feet from the fetters of the reformed conscience
he came upon the droll statue of the national poet
of Ireland.
He looked at it without anger; for,
though sloth of the body and of the soul crept over
it like unseen vermin, over the shuffling feet and
up the folds of the cloak and around the servile head,
it seemed humbly conscious of its indignity.
It was a Firbolg in the borrowed cloak of a Milesian;
and he thought of his friend Davin, the peasant student.
It was a jesting name between them, but the young
peasant bore with it lightly:
Go on, Stevie, I have
a hard head, you tell me. Call me what you will.
The homely version of his christian
name on the lips of his friend had touched Stephen
pleasantly when first heard for he was as formal in
speech with others as they were with him. Often,
as he sat in Davin’s rooms in Grantham Street,
wondering at his friend’s well-made boots that
flanked the wall pair by pair and repeating for his
friend’s simple ear the verses and cadences
of others which were the veils of his own longing
and dejection, the rude Firbolg mind of his listener
had drawn his mind towards it and flung it back again,
drawing it by a quiet inbred courtesy of attention
or by a quaint turn of old English speech or by the
force of its delight in rude bodily skill for
Davin had sat at the feet of Michael Cusack, the Gael repelling
swiftly and suddenly by a grossness of intelligence
or by a bluntness of feeling or by a dull stare of
terror in the eyes, the terror of soul of a starving
Irish village in which the curfew was still a nightly
fear.
Side by side with his memory of the
deeds of prowess of his uncle Mat Davin, the athlete,
the young peasant worshipped the sorrowful legend
of Ireland. The gossip of his fellow-students
which strove to render the flat life of the college
significant at any cost loved to think of him as a
young fenian. His nurse had taught him Irish and
shaped his rude imagination by the broken lights of
Irish myth. He stood towards the myth upon which
no individual mind had ever drawn out a line of beauty
and to its unwieldy tales that divided against themselves
as they moved down the cycles in the same attitude
as towards the Roman catholic religion, the attitude
of a dull-witted loyal serf. Whatsoever of thought
or of feeling came to him from England or by way of
English culture his mind stood armed against in obedience
to a password; and of the world that lay beyond England
he knew only the foreign legion of France in which
he spoke of serving.
Coupling this ambition with the young
man’s humour Stephen had often called him one
of the tame geese and there was even a point of irritation
in the name pointed against that very reluctance of
speech and deed in his friend which seemed so often
to stand between Stephen’s mind, eager of speculation,
and the hidden ways of Irish life.
One night the young peasant, his spirit
stung by the violent or luxurious language in which
Stephen escaped from the cold silence of intellectual
revolt, had called up before Stephen’s mind a
strange vision. The two were walking slowly towards
Davin’s rooms through the dark narrow streets
of the poorer jews.
A thing happened to myself,
Stevie, last autumn, coming on winter, and I never
told it to a living soul and you are the first person
now I ever told it to. I disremember if it was
October or November. It was October because it
was before I came up here to join the matriculation
class.
Stephen had turned his smiling eyes
towards his friend’s face, flattered by his
confidence and won over to sympathy by the speaker’s
simple accent.
I was away all that day
from my own place over in Buttevant.
I don’t know if
you know where that is at a hurling match
between the Croke’s Own Boys and the Fearless
Thurles and by God, Stevie, that was the hard fight.
My first cousin, Fonsy Davin, was stripped to his
buff that day minding cool for the Limericks but he
was up with the forwards half the time and shouting
like mad. I never will forget that day.
One of the Crokes made a woeful wipe at him one time
with his caman and I declare to God he was within
an aim’s ace of getting it at the side of his
temple. Oh, honest to God, if the crook of it
caught him that time he was done for.
I am glad he escaped,
Stephen had said with a laugh, but surely that’s
not the strange thing that happened you?
Well, I suppose that doesn’t
interest you, but leastways there was such noise after
the match that I missed the train home and I couldn’t
get any kind of a yoke to give me a lift for, as luck
would have it, there was a mass meeting that same
day over in Castletownroche and all the cars in the
country were there. So there was nothing for it
only to stay the night or to foot it out. Well,
I started to walk and on I went and it was coming
on night when I got into the Ballyhoura hills, that’s
better than ten miles from Kilmallock and there’s
a long lonely road after that. You wouldn’t
see the sign of a christian house along the road or
hear a sound. It was pitch dark almost. Once
or twice I stopped by the way under a bush to redden
my pipe and only for the dew was thick I’d have
stretched out there and slept. At last, after
a bend of the road, I spied a little cottage with a
light in the window. I went up and knocked at
the door. A voice asked who was there and I answered
I was over at the match in Buttevant and was walking
back and that I’d be thankful for a glass of
water. After a while a young woman opened the
door and brought me out a big mug of milk. She
was half undressed as if she was going to bed when
I knocked and she had her hair hanging and I thought
by her figure and by something in the look of her
eyes that she must be carrying a child. She kept
me in talk a long while at the door, and I thought
it strange because her breast and her shoulders were
bare. She asked me was I tired and would I like
to stop the night there. She said she was all
alone in the house and that her husband had gone that
morning to Queenstown with his sister to see her off.
And all the time she was talking, Stevie, she had
her eyes fixed on my face and she stood so close to
me I could hear her breathing. When I handed her
back the mug at last she took my hand to draw me in
over the threshold and said: ’Come
in and stay the night here.
You’ve no call to be
frightened. There’s no one
in it but ourselves...’
I didn’t go in, Stevie. I thanked her and
went on my way again, all in a fever. At the
first bend of the road I looked back and she was standing
at the door.
The last words of Davin’s story
sang in his memory and the figure of the woman in
the story stood forth reflected in other figures of
the peasant women whom he had seen standing in the
doorways at Clane as the college cars drove by, as
a type of her race and of his own, a bat-like soul
waking to the consciousness of itself in darkness and
secrecy and loneliness and, through the eyes and voice
and gesture of a woman without guile, calling the
stranger to her bed.
A hand was laid on his arm and a young voice cried:
Ah, gentleman, your own girl, sir!
The first handsel today, gentleman.
Buy that lovely bunch. Will you, gentleman?
The blue flowers which she lifted
towards him and her young blue eyes seemed to him
at that instant images of guilelessness, and he halted
till the image had vanished and he saw only her ragged
dress and damp coarse hair and hoydenish face.
Do, gentleman! Don’t forget
your own girl, sir!
I have no money, said Stephen.
Buy them lovely ones, will you, sir?
Only a penny.
Did you hear what I said? asked Stephen,
bending towards her. I told you
I had no money. I tell you again now.
Well, sure, you will some
day, sir, please God, the girl answered after an instant.
Possibly, said Stephen, but I don’t
think it likely.
He left her quickly, fearing that
her intimacy might turn to jibing and wishing to be
out of the way before she offered her ware to another,
a tourist from England or a student of Trinity.
Grafton Street, along which he walked, prolonged that
moment of discouraged poverty. In the roadway
at the head of the street a slab was set to the memory
of Wolfe Tone and he remembered having been present
with his father at its laying. He remembered
with bitterness that scene of tawdry tribute.
There were four French delegates in a brake and one,
a plump smiling young man, held, wedged on a stick,
a card on which were printed the words: Vive
L’IRLANDE!
But the trees in Stephen’s Green
were fragrant of rain and the rain-sodden earth gave
forth its mortal odour, a faint incense rising upward
through the mould from many hearts. The soul of
the gallant venal city which his elders had told him
of had shrunk with time to a faint mortal odour rising
from the earth and he knew that in a moment when he
entered the sombre college he would be conscious of
a corruption other than that of Buck Egan and Burnchapel
Whaley.
It was too late to go upstairs to
the French class. He crossed the hall and took
the corridor to the left which led to the physics theatre.
The corridor was dark and silent but not unwatchful.
Why did he feel that it was not unwatchful? Was
it because he had heard that in Buck Whaley’s
time there was a secret staircase there? Or was
the jesuit house extra-territorial and was he walking
among aliens? The Ireland of Tone and of Parnell
seemed to have receded in space.
He opened the door of the theatre
and halted in the chilly grey light that struggled
through the dusty windows. A figure was crouching
before the large grate and by its leanness and greyness
he knew that it was the dean of studies lighting the
fire. Stephen closed the door quietly and approached
the fireplace.
Good morning, sir! Can I help you?
The priest looked up quickly and said:
One moment now, Mr Dedalus,
and you will see. There is an art in lighting
a fire. We have the liberal arts and we have the
useful arts. This is one of the useful arts.
I will try to learn it, said Stephen.
Not too much coal, said
the dean, working briskly at his task, that is one
of the secrets.
He produced four candle-butts from
the side-pockets of his soutane and placed them deftly
among the coals and twisted papers. Stephen watched
him in silence. Kneeling thus on the flagstone
to kindle the fire and busied with the disposition
of his wisps of paper and candle-butts he seemed more
than ever a humble server making ready the place of
sacrifice in an empty temple, a lévite of the
Lord. Like a levite’s robe of plain linen
the faded worn soutane draped the kneeling figure
of one whom the canonicals or the bell-bordered ephod
would irk and trouble. His very body had waxed
old in lowly service of the Lord in tending
the fire upon the altar, in bearing tidings secretly,
in waiting upon worldlings, in striking swiftly when
bidden and yet had remained ungraced by
aught of saintly or of prelatic beauty. Nay, his
very soul had waxed old in that service without growing
towards light and beauty or spreading abroad a sweet
odour of her sanctity a mortified will
no more responsive to the thrill of its obedience than
was to the thrill of love or combat his ageing body,
spare and sinewy, greyed with a silver-pointed down.
The dean rested back on his hunkers
and watched the sticks catch. Stephen, to fill
the silence, said:
I am sure I could not light a fire.
You are an artist, are
you not, Mr Dedalus? said the dean, glancing up and
blinking his pale eyes. The object of the artist
is the creation of the beautiful. What the beautiful
is is another question.
He rubbed his hands slowly and drily over the difficulty.
Can you solve that question now? he asked.
Aquinas, answered Stephen, says pulcra
SUNT QUAE visa placent.
This fire before us, said the dean, will
be pleasing to the eye.
Will it therefore be beautiful?
In so far as it is apprehended
by the sight, which I suppose means here esthetic
intellection, it will be beautiful. But Aquinas
also says bonum EST in quod TENDIT
appetitus. In so far as it satisfies the
animal craving for warmth fire is a good. In hell,
however, it is an evil.
Quite so, said the dean, you have certainly
hit the nail on the head.
He rose nimbly and went towards the door, set it ajar
and said:
A draught is said to be a help in these
matters.
As he came back to the hearth, limping
slightly but with a brisk step, Stephen saw the silent
soul of a jesuit look out at him from the pale loveless
eyes. Like Ignatius he was lame but in his eyes
burned no spark of Ignatius’s enthusiasm.
Even the legendary craft of the company, a craft subtler
and more secret than its fabled books of secret subtle
wisdom, had not fired his soul with the energy of
apostleship. It seemed as if he used the shifts
and lore and cunning of the world, as bidden to do,
for the greater glory of God, without joy in their
handling or hatred of that in them which was evil but
turning them, with a firm gesture of obedience back
upon themselves and for all this silent service it
seemed as if he loved not at all the master and little,
if at all, the ends he served. Similiter
atque senis baculus, he was, as the
founder would have had him, like a staff in an old
man’s hand, to be leaned on in the road at nightfall
or in stress of weather, to lie with a lady’s
nosegay on a garden seat, to be raised in menace.
The dean returned to the hearth and began to stroke
his chin.
When may we expect to
have something from you on the esthetic question?
he asked.
From me! said Stephen
in astonishment. I stumble on an idea once a
fortnight if I am lucky.
These questions are very
profound, Mr Dedalus, said the dean. It is like
looking down from the cliffs of Moher into the depths.
Many go down into the depths and never come up.
Only the trained diver can go down into those depths
and explore them and come to the surface again.
If you mean speculation,
sir, said Stephen, I also am sure that there is no
such thing as free thinking inasmuch as all thinking
must be bound by its own laws.
Ha!
For my purpose I can work
on at present by the light of one or two ideas of
Aristotle and Aquinas.
I see. I quite see your point.
I need them only for my
own use and guidance until I have done something for
myself by their light. If the lamp smokes or smells
I shall try to trim it. If it does not give light
enough I shall sell it and buy another.
Epictetus also had a lamp,
said the dean, which was sold for a fancy price after
his death. It was the lamp he wrote his philosophical
dissertations by. You know Epictetus?
An old gentleman, said
Stephen coarsely, who said that the soul is very like
a bucketful of water.
He tells us in his homely
way, the dean went on, that he put an iron lamp before
a statue of one of the gods and that a thief stole
the lamp. What did the philosopher do? He
reflected that it was in the character of a thief
to steal and determined to buy an earthen lamp next
day instead of the iron lamp.
A smell of molten tallow came up from
the dean’s candle butts and fused itself in
Stephen’s consciousness with the jingle of the
words, bucket and lamp and lamp and bucket. The
priest’s voice, too, had a hard jingling tone.
Stephen’s mind halted by instinct, checked by
the strange tone and the imagery and by the priest’s
face which seemed like an unlit lamp or a reflector
hung in a false focus. What lay behind it or
within it? A dull torpor of the soul or the dullness
of the thundercloud, charged with intellection and
capable of the gloom of God?
I meant a different kind of lamp, sir,
said Stephen.
Undoubtedly, said the dean.
One difficulty, said Stephen,
in esthetic discussion is to know whether words are
being used according to the literary tradition or
according to the tradition of the marketplace.
I remember a sentence of Newman’s in which he
says of the Blessed Virgin that she was detained in
the full company of the saints. The use of the
word in the marketplace is quite different. I
hope I am not detaining you.
Not in the least, said the dean politely.
No, no, said Stephen, smiling, I mean
Yes, yes; I see, said the dean quickly,
I quite catch the point:
Detain.
He thrust forward his under jaw and uttered a dry
short cough.
To return to the lamp,
he said, the feeding of it is also a nice problem.
You must choose the pure oil and you must be careful
when you pour it in not to overflow it, not to pour
in more than the funnel can hold.
What funnel? asked Stephen.
The funnel through which you pour the
oil into your lamp.
That? said Stephen. Is that called
a funnel? Is it not a tundish?
What is a tundish?
That. The... funnel.
Is that called a tundish
in Ireland? asked the dean. I never heard the
word in my life.
It is called a tundish
in Lower Drumcondra, said Stephen, laughing, where
they speak the best English.
A tundish, said the dean
reflectively. That is a most interesting word.
I must look that word up. Upon my word I must.
His courtesy of manner rang a little
false and Stephen looked at the English convert with
the same eyes as the elder brother in the parable
may have turned on the prodigal. A humble follower
in the wake of clamorous conversions, a poor Englishman
in Ireland, he seemed to have entered on the stage
of jesuit history when that strange play of intrigue
and suffering and envy and struggle and indignity had
been all but given through a late-comer,
a tardy spirit. From what had he set out?
Perhaps he had been born and bred among serious dissenters,
seeing salvation in Jesus only and abhorring the vain
pomps of the establishment. Had he felt the need
of an implicit faith amid the welter of sectarianism
and the jargon of its turbulent schisms, six principle
men, peculiar people, seed and snake baptists, supralapsarian
dogmatists? Had he found the true church all of
a sudden in winding up to the end like a reel of cotton
some fine-spun line of reasoning upon insufflation
on the imposition of hands or the procession of the
Holy Ghost? Or had Lord Christ touched him and
bidden him follow, like that disciple who had sat
at the receipt of custom, as he sat by the door of
some zinc-roofed chapel, yawning and telling over his
church pence?
The dean repeated the word yet again.
Tundish! Well now, that is interesting!
The question you asked
me a moment ago seems to me more interesting.
What is that beauty which the artist struggles to express
from lumps of earth, said Stephen coldly.
The little word seemed to have turned
a rapier point of his sensitiveness against this courteous
and vigilant foe. He felt with a smart of dejection
that the man to whom he was speaking was a countryman
of Ben Jonson. He thought:
The language in which
we are speaking is his before it is mine. How
different are the words home, Christ, ale,
master, on his lips and on mine! I cannot
speak or write these words without unrest of spirit.
His language, so familiar and so foreign, will always
be for me an acquired speech. I have not made
or accepted its words. My voice holds them at
bay. My soul frets in the shadow of his language.
And to distinguish between
the beautiful and the sublime, the dean added, to
distinguish between moral beauty and material beauty.
And to inquire what kind of beauty is proper to each
of the various arts. These are some interesting
points we might take up.
Stephen, disheartened suddenly by
the dean’s firm, dry tone, was silent; and through
the silence a distant noise of many boots and confused
voices came up the staircase.
In pursuing these speculations,
said the dean conclusively, there is, however, the
danger of perishing of inanition. First you must
take your degree. Set that before you as your
first aim. Then, little by little, you will see
your way. I mean in every sense, your way in life
and in thinking. It may be uphill pedalling at
first. Take Mr Moonan. He was a long time
before he got to the top. But he got there.
I may not have his talent, said Stephen
quietly.
You never know, said the
dean brightly. We never can say what is in us.
I most certainly should not be despondent. Per
aspera ad Astra.
He left the hearth quickly and went
towards the landing to oversee the arrival of the
first arts’ class.
Leaning against the fireplace Stephen
heard him greet briskly and impartially every Student
of the class and could almost see the frank smiles
of the coarser students. A desolating pity began
to fall like dew upon his easily embittered heart
for this faithful serving-man of the knightly Loyola,
for this half-brother of the clergy, more venal than
they in speech, more steadfast of soul than they, one
whom he would never call his ghostly father; and he
thought how this man and his companions had earned
the name of worldlings at the hands not of the unworldly
only but of the worldly also for having pleaded, during
all their history, at the bar of God’s justice
for the souls of the lax and the lukewarm and the
prudent.
The entry of the professor was signalled
by a few rounds of Kentish fire from the heavy boots
of those students who sat on the highest tier of the
gloomy theatre under the grey cobwebbed windows.
The calling of the roll began and the responses to
the names were given out in all tones until the name
of Peter Byrne was reached.
Here!
A deep bass note in response came
from the upper tier, followed by coughs of protest
along the other benches.
The professor paused in his reading
and called the next name:
Cranly!
No answer.
Mr Cranly!
A smile flew across Stephen’s
face as he thought of his friend’s studies.
Try Leopardstown! Said a voice from
the bench behind.
Stephen glanced up quickly but Moynihan’s
snoutish face, outlined on the grey light, was impassive.
A formula was given out. Amid the rustling of
the notebooks Stephen turned back again and said:
Give me some paper for God’s sake.
Are you as bad as that? asked Moynihan
with a broad grin.
He tore a sheet from his scribbler and passed it down,
whispering:
In case of necessity any layman or woman
can do it.
The formula which he wrote obediently
on the sheet of paper, the coiling and uncoiling calculations
of the professor, the spectre-like symbols of force
and velocity fascinated and jaded Stephen’s mind.
He had heard some say that the old professor was an
atheist freemason. O the grey dull day!
It seemed a limbo of painless patient consciousness
through which souls of mathematicians might wander,
projecting long slender fabrics from plane to plane
of ever rarer and paler twilight, radiating swift
eddies to the last verges of a universe ever vaster,
farther and more impalpable.
So we must distinguish
between elliptical and ellipsoidal. Perhaps some
of you gentlemen may be familiar with the works of
Mr W. S. Gilbert. In one of his songs he speaks
of the billiard sharp who is condemned to play:
On a cloth untrue
With a twisted cue
And elliptical billiard balls.
He means a ball having
the form of the ellipsoid of the principal axes of
which I spoke a moment ago.
Moynihan leaned down towards Stephen’s ear and
murmured:
What price ellipsoidal balls! chase me,
ladies, I’m in the cavalry!
His fellow student’s rude humour
ran like a gust through the cloister of Stephen’s
mind, shaking into gay life limp priestly vestments
that hung upon the walls, setting them to sway and
caper in a sabbath of misrule. The forms of the
community emerged from the gust-blown vestments, the
dean of studies, the portly florid bursar with his
cap of grey hair, the president, the little priest
with feathery hair who wrote devout verses, the squat
peasant form of the professor of economics, the tall
form of the young professor of mental science discussing
on the landing a case of conscience with his class
like a giraffe cropping high leafage among a herd
of antelopes, the grave troubled prefect of the sodality,
the plump round-headed professor of Italian with his
rogue’s eyes. They came ambling and stumbling,
tumbling and capering, kilting their gowns for leap
frog, holding one another back, shaken with deep false
laughter, smacking one another behind and laughing
at their rude malice, calling to one another by familiar
nicknames, protesting with sudden dignity at some rough
usage, whispering two and two behind their hands.
The professor had gone to the glass
cases on the side wall, from a shelf of which he took
down a set of coils, blew away the dust from many
points and, bearing it carefully to the table, held
a finger on it while he proceeded with his lecture.
He explained that the wires in modern coils were of
a compound called platinoid lately discovered by F.
W. Martino.
He spoke clearly the initials and
surname of the discoverer. Moynihan whispered
from behind:
Good old Fresh Water Martin!
Ask him, Stephen whispered
back with weary humour, if he wants a subject for
electrocution. He can have me.
Moynihan, seeing the professor bend
over the coils, rose in his bench and, clacking noiselessly
the fingers of his right hand, began to call with
the voice of a slobbering urchin.
Please teacher! This
boy is after saying a bad word, teacher.
Platinoid, the professor
said solemnly, is preferred to German silver because
it has a lower coefficient of resistance by changes
of temperature. The platinoid wire is insulated
and the covering of silk that insulates it is wound
on the ebonite bobbins just where my finger is.
If it were wound single an extra current would be induced
in the coils. The bobbins are saturated in hot
paraffin wax...
A sharp Ulster voice said from the bench below Stephen:
Are we likely to be asked questions on
applied science?
The professor began to juggle gravely
with the terms pure science and applied science.
A heavy-built student, wearing gold spectacles, stared
with some wonder at the questioner. Moynihan murmured
from behind in his natural voice:
Isn’t MacAlister a devil for his
pound of flesh?
Stephen looked coldly on the oblong
skull beneath him overgrown with tangled twine-coloured
hair. The voice, the accent, the mind of the
questioner offended him and he allowed the offence
to carry him towards wilful unkindness, bidding his
mind think that the student’s father would have
done better had he sent his son to Belfast to study
and have saved something on the train fare by so doing.
The oblong skull beneath did not turn
to meet this shaft of thought and yet the shaft came
back to its bowstring; for he saw in a moment the
student’s whey-pale face.
That thought is not mine,
he said to himself quickly. It came from the
comic Irishman in the bench behind. Patience.
Can you say with certitude by whom the soul of your
race was bartered and its elect betrayed by
the questioner or by the mocker? Patience.
Remember Epictetus. It is probably in his character
to ask such a question at such a moment in such a
tone and to pronounce the word science as a monosyllable.
The droning voice of the professor
continued to wind itself slowly round and round the
coils it spoke of, doubling, trebling, quadrupling
its somnolent energy as the coil multiplied its ohms
of resistance.
Moynihan’s voice called from
behind in echo to a distant bell:
Closing time, gents!
The entrance hall was crowded and
loud with talk. On a table near the door were
two photographs in frames and between them a long roll
of paper bearing an irregular tail of signatures.
MacCann went briskly to and fro among the students,
talking rapidly, answering rebuffs and leading one
after another to the table. In the inner hall
the dean of studies stood talking to a young professor,
stroking his chin gravely and nodding his head.
Stephen, checked by the crowd at the
door, halted irresolutely. From under the wide
falling leaf of a soft hat Cranly’s dark eyes
were watching him.
Have you signed? Stephen asked.
Cranly closed his long thin-lipped
mouth, communed with himself an instant and answered:
Ego habeo.
What is it for?
Quod?
What is it for?
Cranly turned his pale face to Stephen and said blandly
and bitterly:
Per Pax UNIVERSALIS.
Stephen pointed to the Tsar’s photograph and
said:
He has the face of a besotted Christ.
The scorn and anger in his voice brought
Cranly’s eyes back from a calm survey of the
walls of the hall.
Are you annoyed? he asked.
No, answered Stephen.
Are you in bad humour?
No.
Credo UT Vos sanguinarius
mendax Estis, said Cranly, quia facies
vostra MONSTRAT UT Vos in damno
Malo HUMORE Estis.
Moynihan, on his way to the table, said in Stephen’s
ear:
MacCann is in tiptop form.
Ready to shed the last drop. Brand new world.
No stimulants and votes for the bitches.
Stephen smiled at the manner of this
confidence and, when Moynihan had passed, turned again
to meet Cranly’s eyes.
Perhaps you can tell me,
he said, why he pours his soul so freely into my ear.
Can you?
A dull scowl appeared on Cranly’s
forehead. He stared at the table where Moynihan
had bent to write his name on the roll, and then said
flatly:
A sugar!
QUIS EST in Malo HUMORE, said
Stephen, Ego aut Vos?
Cranly did not take up the taunt.
He brooded sourly on his judgement and repeated with
the same flat force:
A flaming bloody sugar, that’s what
he is!
It was his epitaph for all dead friendships
and Stephen wondered whether it would ever be spoken
in the same tone over his memory. The heavy lumpish
phrase sank slowly out of hearing like a stone through
a quagmire. Stephen saw it sink as he had seen
many another, feeling its heaviness depress his heart.
Cranly’s speech, unlike that of Davin, had neither
rare phrases of Elizabethan English nor quaintly turned
versions of Irish idioms. Its drawl was an echo
of the quays of Dublin given back by a bleak decaying
seaport, its energy an echo of the sacred eloquence
of Dublin given back flatly by a Wicklow pulpit.
The heavy scowl faded from Cranly’s
face as MacCann marched briskly towards them from
the other side of the hall.
Here you are! said MacCann cheerily.
Here I am! said Stephen.
Late as usual. Can
you not combine the progressive tendency with a respect
for punctuality?
That question is out of order, said Stephen.
Next business.
His smiling eyes were fixed on a silver-wrapped
tablet of milk chocolate which peeped out of the propagandist’s
breast-pocket. A little ring of listeners closed
round to hear the war of wits. A lean student
with olive skin and lank black hair thrust his face
between the two, glancing from one to the other at
each phrase and seeming to try to catch each flying
phrase in his open moist mouth. Cranly took a
small grey handball from his pocket and began to examine
it closely, turning it over and over.
Next business? said MacCann. Hom!
He gave a loud cough of laughter,
smiled broadly and tugged twice at the straw-coloured
goatee which hung from his blunt chin.
The next business is to sign the testimonial.
Will you pay me anything if I sign? asked
Stephen.
I thought you were an idealist, said MacCann.
The gipsy-like student looked about
him and addressed the onlookers in an indistinct bleating
voice.
By hell, that’s
a queer notion. I consider that notion to be a
mercenary notion.
His voice faded into silence.
No heed was paid to his words. He turned his
olive face, equine in expression, towards Stephen,
inviting him to speak again.
MacCann began to speak with fluent
energy of the Tsar’s rescript, of Stead, of
general disarmament arbitration in cases of international
disputes, of the signs of the times, of the new humanity
and the new gospel of life which would make it the
business of the community to secure as cheaply as
possible the greatest possible happiness of the greatest
possible number.
The gipsy student responded to the
close of the period by crying:
Three cheers for universal brotherhood!
Go on, Temple, said a
stout ruddy student near him. I’ll stand
you a pint after.
I’m a believer in
universal brotherhood, said Temple, glancing about
him out of his dark oval eyes. Marx is only a
bloody cod.
Cranly gripped his arm tightly to
check his tongue, smiling uneasily, and repeated:
Easy, easy, easy!
Temple struggled to free his arm but
continued, his mouth flecked by a thin foam:
Socialism was founded
by an Irishman and the first man in Europe who preached
the freedom of thought was Collins. Two hundred
years ago. He denounced priestcraft, the philosopher
of Middlesex. Three cheers for John Anthony Collins!
A thin voice from the verge of the ring replied:
Pip! pip!
Moynihan murmured beside Stephen’s ear:
And what about John Anthony’s poor
little sister:
Lottie Collins lost her drawers;
Won’t you kindly lend
her yours?
Stephen laughed and Moynihan, pleased with the result,
murmured again:
We’ll have five bob each way on
John Anthony Collins.
I am waiting for your answer, said MacCann
briefly.
The affair doesn’t interest me in
the least, said Stephen wearily.
You know that well. Why do you make a scene about
it?
Good! said MacCann, smacking his lips.
You are a reactionary, then?
Do you think you impress
me, Stephen asked, when you flourish your wooden sword?
Metaphors! said MacCann bluntly.
Come to facts.
Stephen blushed and turned aside.
MacCann stood his ground and said with hostile humour:
Minor poets, I suppose,
are above such trivial questions as the question of
universal peace.
Cranly raised his head and held the
handball between the two students by way of a peace-offering,
saying:
Pax Super totum sanguinarium
GLOBUM.
Stephen, moving away the bystanders,
jerked his shoulder angrily in the direction of the
Tsar’s image, saying:
Keep your icon. If
we must have a Jesus let us have a legitimate Jesus.
By hell, that’s
a good one! said the gipsy student to those about
him, that’s a fine expression. I like that
expression immensely.
He gulped down the spittle in his
throat as if he were gulping down the phrase and,
fumbling at the peak of his tweed cap, turned to Stephen,
saying:
Excuse me, sir, what do
you mean by that expression you uttered just now?
Feeling himself jostled by the students
near him, he said to them:
I am curious to know now
what he meant by that expression.
He turned again to Stephen and said in a whisper:
Do you believe in Jesus?
I believe in man. Of course, I don’t know
if you believe in man. I admire you, sir.
I admire the mind of man independent of all religions.
Is that your opinion about the mind of Jesus?
Go on, Temple, said the
stout ruddy student, returning, as was his wont, to
his first idea, that pint is waiting for you.
He thinks I’m an
imbecile, Temple explained to Stephen, because I’m
a believer in the power of mind.
Cranly linked his arms into those
of Stephen and his admirer and said:
Nos ad MANUM BALLUM JOCABIMUS.
Stephen, in the act of being led away,
caught sight of MacCann’s flushed blunt-featured
face.
My signature is of no
account, he said politely. You are right to go
your way. Leave me to go mine.
Dedalus, said MacCann
crisply, I believe you’re a good fellow but
you have yet to learn the dignity of altruism and the
responsibility of the human individual.
A voice said:
Intellectual crankery is better out of
this movement than in it.
Stephen, recognizing the harsh tone
of MacAlister’s voice did not turn in the direction
of the voice. Cranly pushed solemnly through the
throng of students, linking Stephen and Temple like
a celebrant attended by his ministers on his way to
the altar.
Temple bent eagerly across Cranly’s breast and
said:
Did you hear MacAlister
what he said? That youth is jealous of you.
Did you see that? I bet Cranly didn’t see
that. By hell, I saw that at once.
As they crossed the inner hall, the
dean of studies was in the act of escaping from the
student with whom he had been conversing. He stood
at the foot of the staircase, a foot on the lowest
step, his threadbare soutane gathered about him for
the ascent with womanish care, nodding his head often
and repeating:
Not a doubt of it, Mr
Hackett! Very fine! Not a doubt of it!
In the middle of the hall the prefect
of the college sodality was speaking earnestly, in
a soft querulous voice, with a boarder. As he
spoke he wrinkled a little his freckled brow and bit,
between his phrases, at a tiny bone pencil.
I hope the matric men
will all come. The first arts’ men are pretty
sure. Second arts, too. We must make sure
of the newcomers.
Temple bent again across Cranly, as
they were passing through the doorway, and said in
a swift whisper:
Do you know that he is
a married man? he was a married man before they converted
him. He has a wife and children somewhere.
By hell, I think that’s the queerest notion
I ever heard! Eh?
His whisper trailed off into sly cackling
laughter. The moment they were through the doorway
Cranly seized him rudely by the neck and shook him,
saying:
You flaming floundering
fool! I’ll take my dying bible there isn’t
a bigger bloody ape, do you know, than you in the
whole flaming bloody world!
Temple wriggled in his grip, laughing
still with sly content, while Cranly repeated flatly
at every rude shake:
A flaming flaring bloody idiot!
They crossed the weedy garden together.
The president, wrapped in a heavy loose cloak, was
coming towards them along one of the walks, reading
his office. At the end of the walk he halted before
turning and raised his eyes. The students saluted,
Temple fumbling as before at the peak of his cap.
They walked forward in silence. As they neared
the alley Stephen could hear the thuds of the players’
hands and the wet smacks of the ball and Davin’s
voice crying out excitedly at each stroke.
The three students halted round the
box on which Davin sat to follow the game. Temple,
after a few moments, sidled across to Stephen and
said:
Excuse me, I wanted to
ask you, do you believe that Jean-Jacques Rousseau
was a sincere man?
Stephen laughed outright. Cranly,
picking up the broken stave of a cask from the grass
at his feet, turned swiftly and said sternly:
Temple, I declare to the
living God if you say another word, do you know, to
anybody on any subject, I’ll kill you Super
SPOTTUM.
He was like you, I fancy,
said Stephen, an emotional man.
Blast him, curse him!
said Cranly broadly. Don’t talk to him at
all. Sure, you might as well be talking, do you
know, to a flaming chamber-pot as talking to Temple.
Go home, Temple. For God’s sake, go home.
I don’t care a damn
about you, Cranly, answered Temple, moving out of
reach of the uplifted stave and pointing at Stephen.
He’s the only man I see in this institution
that has an individual mind.
Institution! Individual!
cried Cranly. Go home, blast you, for you’re
a hopeless bloody man.
I’m an emotional
man, said Temple. That’s quite rightly expressed.
And I’m proud that I’m an emotionalist.
He sidled out of the alley, smiling
slyly. Cranly watched him with a blank expressionless
face.
Look at him! he said.
Did you ever see such a go-by-the-wall?
His phrase was greeted by a strange
laugh from a student who lounged against the wall,
his peaked cap down on his eyes. The laugh, pitched
in a high key and coming from a so muscular frame,
seemed like the whinny of an elephant. The student’s
body shook all over and, to ease his mirth, he rubbed
both his hands delightedly over his groins.
Lynch is awake, said Cranly.
Lynch, for answer, straightened himself and thrust
forward his chest.
Lynch puts out his chest, said Stephen,
as a criticism of life.
Lynch smote himself sonorously on the chest and said:
Who has anything to say about my girth?
Cranly took him at the word and the
two began to tussle. When their faces had flushed
with the struggle they drew apart, panting. Stephen
bent down towards Davin who, intent on the game, had
paid no heed to the talk of the others.
And how is my little tame goose? he asked.
Did he sign, too?
David nodded and said:
And you, Stevie?
Stephen shook his head.
You’re a terrible
man, Stevie, said Davin, taking the short pipe from
his mouth, always alone.
Now that you have signed
the petition for universal peace, said Stephen, I
suppose you will burn that little copybook I saw in
your room.
As Davin did not answer, Stephen began to quote:
Long pace, fianna!
Right incline, fianna! Fianna, by numbers, salute,
one, two!
That’s a different
question, said Davin. I’m an Irish nationalist,
first and foremost. But that’s you all out.
You’re a born sneerer, Stevie.
When you make the next
rebellion with hurleysticks, said Stephen, and want
the indispensable informer, tell me. I can find
you a few in this college.
I can’t understand
you, said Davin. One time I hear you talk against
English literature. Now you talk against the Irish
informers. What with your name and your ideas Are
you Irish at all?
Come with me now to the
office of arms and I will show you the tree of my
family, said Stephen.
Then be one of us, said
Davin. Why don’t you learn Irish? Why
did you drop out of the league class after the first
lesson?
You know one reason why, answered Stephen.
Davin tossed his head and laughed.
Oh, come now, he said.
Is it on account of that certain young lady and Father
Moran? But that’s all in your own mind,
Stevie. They were only talking and laughing.
Stephen paused and laid a friendly hand upon Davin’s
shoulder.
Do you remember, he said,
when we knew each other first? The first morning
we met you asked me to show you the way to the matriculation
class, putting a very strong stress on the first syllable.
You remember? Then you used to address the jesuits
as father, you remember? I ask myself about you:
Is he as innocent as his
speech?
I’m a simple person,
said Davin. You know that. When you told
me that night in Harcourt Street those things about
your private life, honest to God, Stevie, I was not
able to eat my dinner. I was quite bad.
I was awake a long time that night. Why did you
tell me those things?
Thanks, said Stephen. You mean I
am a monster.
No, said Davin. But I wish you had
not told me.
A tide began to surge beneath the
calm surface of Stephen’s friendliness.
This race and this country
and this life produced me, he said I shall express
myself as I am.
Try to be one of us, repeated
Davin. In heart you are an Irish man but your
pride is too powerful.
My ancestors threw off
their language and took another Stephen said.
They allowed a handful of foreigners to subject them.
Do you fancy I am going to pay in my own life and
person debts they made? What for?
For our freedom, said Davin.
No honourable and sincere
man, said Stephen, has given up to you his life and
his youth and his affections from the days of Tone
to those of Parnell, but you sold him to the enemy
or failed him in need or reviled him and left him
for another. And you invite me to be one of you.
I’d see you damned first.
They died for their ideals,
Stevie, said Davin. Our day will come yet, believe
me.
Stephen, following his own thought,
was silent for an instant.
The soul is born, he said
vaguely, first in those moments I told you of.
It has a slow and dark birth, more mysterious than
the birth of the body. When the soul of a man
is born in this country there are nets flung at it
to hold it back from flight. You talk to me of
nationality, language, religion. I shall try
to fly by those nets.
Davin knocked the ashes from his pipe.
Too deep for me, Stevie, he said.
But a man’s country comes first.
Ireland first, Stevie. You can be a poet or a
mystic after.
Do you know what Ireland is? asked Stephen
with cold violence.
Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow.
Davin rose from his box and went towards
the players, shaking his head sadly. But in a
moment his sadness left him and he was hotly disputing
with Cranly and the two players who had finished their
game. A match of four was arranged, Cranly insisting,
however, that his ball should be used. He let
it rebound twice or thrice to his hand and struck it
strongly and swiftly towards the base of the alley,
exclaiming in answer to its thud:
Your soul!
Stephen stood with Lynch till the
score began to rise. Then he plucked him by the
sleeve to come away. Lynch obeyed, saying:
Let us eke go, as Cranly has it.
Stephen smiled at this side-thrust.
They passed back through the garden
and out through the hall where the doddering porter
was pinning up a hall notice in the frame. At
the foot of the steps they halted and Stephen took
a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and offered
it to his companion.
I know you are poor, he said.
Damn your yellow insolence, answered Lynch.
This second proof of Lynch’s culture made Stephen
smile again.
It was a great day for
European culture, he said, when you made up your mind
to swear in yellow.
They lit their cigarettes and turned to the right.
After a pause
Stephen began:
Aristotle has not defined pity and terror.
I have. I say
Lynch halted and said bluntly:
Stop! I won’t
listen! I am sick. I was out last night on
a yellow drunk with Horan and Goggins.
Stephen went on:
Pity is the feeling which
arrests the mind in the presence of whatsoever is
grave and constant in human sufferings and unites it
with the human sufferer. Terror is the feeling
which arrests the mind in the presence of whatsoever
is grave and constant in human sufferings and unites
it with the secret cause.
Repeat, said Lynch.
Stephen repeated the definitions slowly.
A girl got into a hansom
a few days ago, he went on, in London. She was
on her way to meet her mother whom she had not seen
for many years. At the corner of a street the
shaft of a lorry shivered the window of the hansom
in the shape of a star. A long fine needle of
the shivered glass pierced her heart. She died
on the instant. The reporter called it a tragic
death. It is not. It is remote from terror
and pity according to the terms of my definitions.
The tragic emotion, in
fact, is a face looking two ways, towards terror and
towards pity, both of which are phases of it.
You see I use the word arrest. I mean that the
tragic emotion is static. Or rather the dramatic
emotion is. The feelings excited by improper art
are kinetic, desire or loathing. Desire urges
us to possess, to go to something; loathing urges
us to abandon, to go from something. The arts
which excite them, pornographical or didactic, are
therefore improper arts. The esthetic emotion
(I used the general term) is therefore static.
The mind is arrested and raised above desire and loathing.
You say that art must
not excite desire, said Lynch. I told you that
one day I wrote my name in pencil on the backside of
the Venus of Praxiteles in the Museum. Was that
not desire?
I speak of normal natures,
said Stephen. You also told me that when you
were a boy in that charming carmélite school you
ate pieces of dried cowdung.
Lynch broke again into a whinny of
laughter and again rubbed both his hands over his
groins but without taking them from his pockets.
O, I did! I did! he cried.
Stephen turned towards his companion
and looked at him for a moment boldly in the eyes.
Lynch, recovering from his laughter, answered his
look from his humbled eyes. The long slender flattened
skull beneath the long pointed cap brought before
Stephen’s mind the image of a hooded reptile.
The eyes, too, were reptile-like in glint and gaze.
Yet at that instant, humbled and alert in their look,
they were lit by one tiny human point, the window
of a shrivelled soul, poignant and self-embittered.
As for that, Stephen said
in polite parenthesis, we are all animals. I
also am an animal.
You are, said Lynch.
But we are just now in
a mental world, Stephen continued. The desire
and loathing excited by improper esthetic means are
really not esthetic emotions not only because they
are kinetic in character but also because they are
not more than physical. Our flesh shrinks from
what it dreads and responds to the stimulus of what
it desires by a purely reflex action of the nervous
system. Our eyelid closes before we are aware
that the fly is about to enter our eye.
Not always, said Lynch critically.
In the same way, said
Stephen, your flesh responded to the stimulus of a
naked statue, but it was, I say, simply a reflex action
of the nerves. Beauty expressed by the artist
cannot awaken in us an emotion which is kinetic or
a sensation which is purely physical. It awakens,
or ought to awaken, or induces, or ought to induce,
an esthetic stasis, an ideal pity or an ideal terror,
a stasis called forth, prolonged, and at last dissolved
by what I call the rhythm of beauty.
What is that exactly? asked Lynch.
Rhythm, said Stephen,
is the first formal esthetic relation of part to part
in any esthetic whole or of an esthetic whole to its
part or parts or of any part to the esthetic whole
of which it is a part.
If that is rhythm, said
Lynch, let me hear what you call beauty; and, please
remember, though I did eat a cake of cowdung once,
that I admire only beauty.
Stephen raised his cap as if in greeting.
Then, blushing slightly, he laid his hand on Lynch’s
thick tweed sleeve.
We are right, he said,
and the others are wrong. To speak of these things
and to try to understand their nature and, having understood
it, to try slowly and humbly and constantly to express,
to press out again, from the gross earth or what it
brings forth, from sound and shape and colour which
are the prison gates of our soul, an image of the beauty
we have come to understand that is art.
They had reached the canal bridge
and, turning from their course, went on by the trees.
A crude grey light, mirrored in the sluggish water
and a smell of wet branches over their heads seemed
to war against the course of Stephen’s thought.
But you have not answered
my question, said Lynch. What is art? What
is the beauty it expresses?
That was the first definition
I gave you, you sleepy-headed wretch, said Stephen,
when I began to try to think out the matter for myself.
Do you remember the night? Cranly lost his temper
and began to talk about Wicklow bacon.
I remember, said Lynch.
He told us about them flaming fat devils of pigs.
Art, said Stephen, is
the human disposition of sensible or intelligible
matter for an esthetic end. You remember the pigs
and forget that. You are a distressing pair,
you and Cranly.
Lynch made a grimace at the raw grey sky and said:
If I am to listen to your
esthetic philosophy give me at least another cigarette.
I don’t care about it. I don’t even
care about women. Damn you and damn everything.
I want a job of five hundred a year. You can’t
get me one.
Stephen handed him the packet of cigarettes.
Lynch took the last one that remained, saying simply:
Proceed!
Aquinas, said Stephen,
says that is beautiful the apprehension of which pleases.
Lynch nodded.
I remember that, he said, pulcra
SUNT QUAE visa placent.
He uses the word visa,
said Stephen, to cover esthetic apprehensions of all
kinds, whether through sight or hearing or through
any other avenue of apprehension. This word,
though it is vague, is clear enough to keep away good
and evil which excite desire and loathing. It
means certainly a stasis and not a kinesis. How
about the true? It produces also a stasis of
the mind. You would not write your name in pencil
across the hypotenuse of a right-angled triangle.
No, said Lynch, give me the hypotenuse
of the Venus of Praxiteles.
Static therefore, said
Stephen. Plato, I believe, said that beauty is
the splendour of truth. I don’t think that
it has a meaning, but the true and the beautiful are
akin. Truth is beheld by the intellect which
is appeased by the most satisfying relations of the
intelligible; beauty is beheld by the imagination
which is appeased by the most satisfying relations
of the sensible. The first step in the direction
of truth is to understand the frame and scope of the
intellect itself, to comprehend the act itself of
intellection. Aristotle’s entire system
of philosophy rests upon his book of psychology and
that, I think, rests on his statement that the same
attribute cannot at the same time and in the same
connexion belong to and not belong to the same subject.
The first step in the direction of beauty is to understand
the frame and scope of the imagination, to comprehend
the act itself of esthetic apprehension. Is that
clear?
But what is beauty? asked
Lynch impatiently. Out with another definition.
Something we see and like! Is that the best you
and Aquinas can do?
Let us take woman, said Stephen.
Let us take her! said Lynch fervently.
The Greek, the Turk, the
Chinese, the Copt, the Hottentot, said Stephen, all
admire a different type of female beauty. That
seems to be a maze out of which we cannot escape.
I see, however, two ways out. One is this hypothesis:
that every physical quality admired by men in women
is in direct connexion with the manifold functions
of women for the propagation of the species. It
may be so. The world, it seems, is drearier than
even you, Lynch, imagined. For my part I dislike
that way out. It leads to eugenics rather than
to esthetic. It leads you out of the maze into
a new gaudy lecture-room where MacCann, with one hand
on the origin of species and the
other hand on the new testament, tells you that you
admired the great flanks of Venus because you felt
that she would bear you burly offspring and admired
her great breasts because you felt that she would give
good milk to her children and yours.
Then MacCann is a sulphur-yellow liar,
said Lynch energetically.
There remains another way out, said Stephen,
laughing.
To wit? said Lynch.
This hypothesis, Stephen began.
A long dray laden with old iron came
round the corner of Sir Patrick Dun’s hospital
covering the end of Stephen’s speech with the
harsh roar of jangled and rattling metal. Lynch
closed his ears and gave out oath after oath till
the dray had passed. Then he turned on his heel
rudely. Stephen turned also and waited for a
few moments till his companion’s ill-humour
had had its vent.
This hypothesis, Stephen
repeated, is the other way out: that, though
the same object may not seem beautiful to all people,
all people who admire a beautiful object find in it
certain relations which satisfy and coincide with
the stages themselves of all esthetic apprehension.
These relations of the sensible, visible to you through
one form and to me through another, must be therefore
the necessary qualities of beauty. Now, we can
return to our old friend saint Thomas for another
pennyworth of wisdom.
Lynch laughed.
It amuses me vastly, he
said, to hear you quoting him time after time like
a jolly round friar. Are you laughing in your
sleeve?
MacAlister, answered Stephen,
would call my esthetic theory applied Aquinas.
So far as this side of esthetic philosophy extends,
Aquinas will carry me all along the line. When
we come to the phenomena of artistic conception, artistic
gestation, and artistic reproduction I require a new
terminology and a new personal experience.
Of course, said Lynch.
After all Aquinas, in spite of his intellect, was
exactly a good round friar. But you will tell
me about the new personal experience and new terminology
some other day. Hurry up and finish the first
part.
Who knows? said Stephen,
smiling. Perhaps Aquinas would understand me
better than you. He was a poet himself. He
wrote a hymn for Maundy Thursday. It begins with
the words PANGE lingua GLORIOSI. They say
it is the highest glory of the hymnal. It is
an intricate and soothing hymn. I like it; but
there is no hymn that can be put beside that mournful
and majestic processional song, the VEXILLA Regis
of Venantius Fortunatus.
Lynch began to sing softly and solemnly
in a deep bass voice:
IMPLETA SUNT QUAE CONCINIT
David FIDELI carmine
dicendo NATIONIBUS
REGNAVIT A LIGNO Deus.
That’s great! he said, well pleased.
Great music!
They turned into Lower Mount Street.
A few steps from the corner a fat young man, wearing
a silk neckcloth, saluted them and stopped.
Did you hear the results
of the exams? he asked. Griffin was plucked.
Halpin and O’Flynn are through the home civil.
Moonan got fifth place in the Indian. O’Shaughnessy
got fourteenth. The Irish fellows in Clark’s
gave them a feed last night. They all ate curry.
His pallid bloated face expressed
benevolent malice and, as he had advanced through
his tidings of success, his small fat-encircled eyes
vanished out of sight and his weak wheezing voice out
of hearing.
In reply to a question of Stephen’s
his eyes and his voice came forth again from their
lurking-places.
Yes, MacCullagh and I,
he said. He’s taking pure mathematics and
I’m taking constitutional history. There
are twenty subjects. I’m taking botany
too. You know I’m a member of the field
club.
He drew back from the other two in
a stately fashion and placed a plump woollen-gloved
hand on his breast from which muttered wheezing laughter
at once broke forth.
Bring us a few turnips
and onions the next time you go out, said Stephen
drily, to make a stew.
The fat student laughed indulgently and said:
We are all highly respectable people in
the field club. Last
Saturday we went out to Glenmalure, seven of us.
With women, Donovan? said Lynch.
Donovan again laid his hand on his chest and said:
Our end is the acquisition of knowledge.
Then he said quickly:
I hear you are writing some essays about
esthetics.
Stephen made a vague gesture of denial.
Goethe and Lessing, said
Donovan, have written a lot on that subject, the classical
school and the romantic school and all that. The
Laocoon interested me very much when I read it.
Of course it is idealistic, German, ultra-profound.
Neither of the others spoke. Donovan took leave
of them urbanely.
I must go, he said softly
and benevolently, I have a strong suspicion, amounting
almost to a conviction, that my sister intended to
make pancakes today for the dinner of the Donovan family.
Goodbye, Stephen said
in his wake. Don’t forget the turnips for
me and my mate.
Lynch gazed after him, his lip curling
in slow scorn till his face resembled a devil’s
mask:
To think that that yellow
pancake-eating excrement can get a good job, he said
at length, and I have to smoke cheap cigarettes!
They turned their faces towards Merrion
Square and went for a little in silence.
To finish what I was saying
about beauty, said Stephen, the most satisfying relations
of the sensible must therefore correspond to the necessary
phases of artistic apprehension. Find these and
you find the qualities of universal beauty. Aquinas
says: Ad PULCRITUDINEM tria REQUIRUNTUR
integritas, consonantia, claritas.
I translate it so: Three things are
needed for beauty, wholeness, harmony,
and radiance. Do these correspond to
the phases of apprehension? Are you following?
Of course, I am, said
Lynch. If you think I have an excrementitious
intelligence run after Donovan and ask him to listen
to you.
Stephen pointed to a basket which
a butcher’s boy had slung inverted on his head.
Look at that basket, he said.
I see it, said Lynch.
In order to see that basket,
said Stephen, your mind first of all separates the
basket from the rest of the visible universe which
is not the basket. The first phase of apprehension
is a bounding line drawn about the object to be apprehended.
An esthetic image is presented to us either in space
or in time.
What is audible is presented in time,
what is visible is presented in space. But, temporal
or spatial, the esthetic image is first luminously
apprehended as selfbounded and selfcontained upon the
immeasurable background of space or time which is
not it. You apprehended it as one thing.
You see it as one whole. You apprehend its wholeness.
That is integritas.
Bull’s eye! said Lynch, laughing.
Go on.
Then, said Stephen, you
pass from point to point, led by its formal lines;
you apprehend it as balanced part against part within
its limits; you feel the rhythm of its structure.
In other words, the synthesis of immediate perception
is followed by the analysis of apprehension.
Having first felt that it is one thing you feel
now that it is a thing. You apprehend it
as complex, multiple, divisible, separable, made up
of its parts, the result of its parts and their sum,
harmonious. That is consonantia.
Bull’s eye again!
said Lynch wittily. Tell me now what is claritas
and you win the cigar.
The connotation of the
word, Stephen said, is rather vague. Aquinas
uses a term which seems to be inexact. It baffled
me for a long time. It would lead you to believe
that he had in mind symbolism or idealism, the supreme
quality of beauty being a light from some other world,
the idea of which the matter is but the shadow, the
reality of which it is but the symbol. I thought
he might mean that claritas is the artistic discovery
and representation of the divine purpose in anything
or a force of generalization which would make the
esthetic image a universal one, make it outshine its
proper conditions. But that is literary talk.
I understand it so. When you have apprehended
that basket as one thing and have then analysed it
according to its form and apprehended it as a thing
you make the only synthesis which is logically and
esthetically permissible. You see that it is that
thing which it is and no other thing. The radiance
of which he speaks in the scholastic quidditas,
the WHATNESS of a thing. This supreme quality
is felt by the artist when the esthetic image is first
conceived in his imagination. The mind in that
mysterious instant Shelley likened beautifully to
a fading coal. The instant wherein that supreme
quality of beauty, the clear radiance of the esthetic
image, is apprehended luminously by the mind which
has been arrested by its wholeness and fascinated
by its harmony is the luminous silent stasis of esthetic
pleasure, a spiritual state very like to that cardiac
condition which the Italian physiologist Luigi Galvani,
using a phrase almost as beautiful as Shelley’s,
called the enchantment of the heart.
Stephen paused and, though his companion
did not speak, felt that his words had called up around
them a thought-enchanted silence.
What I have said, he began
again, refers to beauty in the wider sense of the
word, in the sense which the word has in the literary
tradition. In the marketplace it has another sense.
When we speak of beauty in the second sense of the
term our judgement is influenced in the first place
by the art itself and by the form of that art.
The image, it is clear, must be set between the mind
or senses of the artist himself and the mind or senses
of others. If you bear this in memory you will
see that art necessarily divides itself into three
forms progressing from one to the next. These
forms are: the lyrical form, the form wherein
the artist presents his image in immediate relation
to himself; the epical form, the form wherein he presents
his image in mediate relation to himself and to others;
the dramatic form, the form wherein he presents his
image in immediate relation to others.
That you told me a few
nights ago, said Lynch, and we began the famous discussion.
I have a book at home,
said Stephen, in which I have written down questions
which are more amusing than yours were. In finding
the answers to them I found the theory of esthetic
which I am trying to explain. Here are some questions
I set myself: Is A chair finely
made tragic or comic? Is
the portrait of Mona Lisa
good if I desire to see it?
If not, why not?
Why not, indeed? said Lynch, laughing.
If A man hacking in
fury at A block of wood, Stephen
continued, make
there an image of A cow,
is that image A work of art?
If not, why not?
That’s a lovely
one, said Lynch, laughing again. That has the
true scholastic stink.
Lessing, said Stephen,
should not have taken a group of statues to write
of. The art, being inferior, does not present
the forms I spoke of distinguished clearly one from
another. Even in literature, the highest and
most spiritual art, the forms are often confused.
The lyrical form is in fact the simplest verbal vesture
of an instant of emotion, a rhythmical cry such as
ages ago cheered on the man who pulled at the oar
or dragged stones up a slope. He who utters it
is more conscious of the instant of emotion than of
himself as feeling emotion. The simplest epical
form is seen emerging out of lyrical literature when
the artist prolongs and broods upon himself as the
centre of an epical event and this form progresses
till the centre of emotional gravity is equidistant
from the artist himself and from others. The
narrative is no longer purely personal. The personality
of the artist passes into the narration itself, flowing
round and round the persons and the action like a
vital sea. This progress you will see easily in
that old English ballad Turpin Hero which
begins in the first person and ends in the third person.
The dramatic form is reached when the vitality which
has flowed and eddied round each person fills every
person with such vital force that he or she assumes
a proper and intangible esthetic life. The personality
of the artist, at first a cry or a cadence or a mood
and then a fluid and lambent narrative, finally refines
itself out of existence, impersonalizes itself, so
to speak. The esthetic image in the dramatic
form is life purified in and reprojected from the
human imagination. The mystery of esthetic, like
that of material creation, is accomplished. The
artist, like the God of creation, remains within or
behind or beyond or above his handiwork, invisible,
refined out of existence, indifferent, paring his
fingernails.
Trying to refine them
also out of existence, said Lynch.
A fine rain began to fall from the
high veiled sky and they turned into the duke’s
lawn to reach the national library before the shower
came.
What do you mean, Lynch
asked surlily, by prating about beauty and the imagination
in this miserable Godforsaken island? No wonder
the artist retired within or behind his handiwork
after having perpetrated this country.
The rain fell faster. When they
passed through the passage beside Kildare house they
found many students sheltering under the arcade of
the library. Cranly, leaning against a pillar,
was picking his teeth with a sharpened match, listening
to some companions. Some girls stood near the
entrance door. Lynch whispered to Stephen:
Your beloved is here.
Stephen took his place silently on
the step below the group of students, heedless of
the rain which fell fast, turning his eyes towards
her from time to time. She too stood silently
among her companions. She has no priest to flirt
with, he thought with conscious bitterness, remembering
how he had seen her last. Lynch was right.
His mind emptied of theory and courage, lapsed back
into a listless peace.
He heard the students talking among
themselves. They spoke of two friends who had
passed the final medical examination, of the chances
of getting places on ocean liners, of poor and rich
practices.
That’s all a bubble.
An Irish country practice is better.
Hynes was two years in
Liverpool and he says the same. A frightful hole
he said it was. Nothing but midwifery cases.
Do you mean to say it
is better to have a job here in the country than in
a rich city like that? I know a fellow...
Hynes has no brains.
He got through by stewing, pure stewing.
Don’t mind him.
There’s plenty of money to be made in a big commercial
city.
Depends on the practice.
Ego Credo UT Vita PAUPERUM
EST simpliciter atrox, simpliciter
sanguinarius atrox, in LIVERPOOLIO.
Their voices reached his ears as if
from a distance in interrupted pulsation. She
was preparing to go away with her companions.
The quick light shower had drawn off,
tarrying in clusters of diamonds among the shrubs
of the quadrangle where an exhalation was breathed
forth by the blackened earth. Their trim boots
prattled as they stood on the steps of the colonnade,
talking quietly and gaily, glancing at the clouds,
holding their umbrellas at cunning angles against the
few last raindrops, closing them again, holding their
skirts demurely.
And if he had judged her harshly?
If her life were a simple rosary of hours, her life
simple and strange as a bird’s life, gay in the
morning, restless all day, tired at sundown? Her
heart simple and wilful as a bird’s heart?
Towards dawn he awoke. O what
sweet music! His soul was all dewy wet.
Over his limbs in sleep pale cool waves of light had
passed. He lay still, as if his soul lay amid
cool waters, conscious of faint sweet music.
His mind was waking slowly to a tremulous morning knowledge,
a morning inspiration. A spirit filled him, pure
as the purest water, sweet as dew, moving as music.
But how faintly it was inbreathed, how passionlessly,
as if the seraphim themselves were breathing upon him!
His soul was waking slowly, fearing to awake wholly.
It was that windless hour of dawn when madness wakes
and strange plants open to the light and the moth
flies forth silently.
An enchantment of the heart!
The night had been enchanted. In a dream or vision
he had known the ecstasy of seraphic life. Was
it an instant of enchantment only or long hours and
years and ages?
The instant of inspiration seemed
now to be reflected from all sides at once from a
multitude of cloudy circumstances of what had happened
or of what might have happened. The instant flashed
forth like a point of light and now from cloud on
cloud of vague circumstance confused form was veiling
softly its afterglow. O! In the virgin womb
of the imagination the word was made flesh. Gabriel
the seraph had come to the virgin’s chamber.
An afterglow deepened within his spirit, whence the
white flame had passed, deepening to a rose and ardent
light. That rose and ardent light was her strange
wilful heart, strange that no man had known or would
know, wilful from before the beginning of the world;
and lured by that ardent rose-like glow the choirs
of the seraphim were falling from heaven.
Are you not weary of ardent
ways,
Lure of the fallen seraphim?
Tell no more of enchanted
days.
The verses passed from his mind to
his lips and, murmuring them over, he felt the rhythmic
movement of a villanelle pass through them. The
rose-like glow sent forth its rays of rhyme; ways,
days, blaze, praise, raise. Its rays burned up
the world, consumed the hearts of men and angels:
the rays from the rose that was her wilful heart.
Your eyes have set man’s
heart ablaze
And you have had your will
of him.
Are you not weary of ardent
ways?
And then? The rhythm died away,
ceased, began again to move and beat. And then?
Smoke, incense ascending from the altar of the world.
Above the flame the smoke
of praise
Goes up from ocean rim to
rim
Tell no more of enchanted
days.
Smoke went up from the whole earth,
from the vapoury oceans, smoke of her praise.
The earth was like a swinging swaying censer, a ball
of incense, an ellipsoidal fall. The rhythm died
out at once; the cry of his heart was broken.
His lips began to murmur the first verses over and
over; then went on stumbling through half verses, stammering
and baffled; then stopped. The heart’s
cry was broken.
The veiled windless hour had passed
and behind the panes of the naked window the morning
light was gathering. A bell beat faintly very
far away. A bird twittered; two birds, three.
The bell and the bird ceased; and the dull white light
spread itself east and west, covering the world, covering
the roselight in his heart.
Fearing to lose all, he raised himself
suddenly on his elbow to look for paper and pencil.
There was neither on the table; only the soup plate
he had eaten the rice from for supper and the candlestick
with its tendrils of tallow and its paper socket,
singed by the last flame. He stretched his arm
wearily towards the foot of the bed, groping with
his hand in the pockets of the coat that hung there.
His fingers found a pencil and then a cigarette packet.
He lay back and, tearing open the packet, placed the
last cigarette on the window ledge and began to write
out the stanzas of the villanelle in small neat letters
on the rough cardboard surface.
Having written them out he lay back
on the lumpy pillow, murmuring them again. The
lumps of knotted flock under his head reminded him
of the lumps of knotted horsehair in the sofa of her
parlour on which he used to sit, smiling or serious,
asking himself why he had come, displeased with her
and with himself, confounded by the print of the Sacred
Heart above the untenanted sideboard. He saw
her approach him in a lull of the talk and beg him
to sing one of his curious songs. Then he saw
himself sitting at the old piano, striking chords softly
from its speckled keys and singing, amid the talk
which had risen again in the room, to her who leaned
beside the mantelpiece a dainty song of the Elizabethans,
a sad and sweet loth to depart, the victory chant of
Agincourt, the happy air of Greensleeves. While
he sang and she listened, or feigned to listen, his
heart was at rest but when the quaint old songs had
ended and he heard again the voices in the room he
remembered his own sarcasm: the house where young
men are called by their christian names a little too
soon.
At certain instants her eyes seemed
about to trust him but he had waited in vain.
She passed now dancing lightly across his memory as
she had been that night at the carnival ball, her
white dress a little lifted, a white spray nodding
in her hair. She danced lightly in the round.
She was dancing towards him and, as she came, her eyes
were a little averted and a faint glow was on her
cheek. At the pause in the chain of hands her
hand had lain in his an instant, a soft merchandise.
You are a great stranger now.
Yes. I was born to be a monk.
I am afraid you are a heretic.
Are you much afraid?
For answer she had danced away from
him along the chain of hands, dancing lightly and
discreetly, giving herself to none. The white
spray nodded to her dancing and when she was in shadow
the glow was deeper on her cheek.
A monk! His own image started
forth a profaner of the cloister, a heretic franciscan,
willing and willing not to serve, spinning like Gherardino
da Borgo San Donnino, a lithe web of
sophistry and whispering in her ear.
No, it was not his image. It
was like the image of the young priest in whose company
he had seen her last, looking at him out of dove’s
eyes, toying with the pages of her Irish phrase-book.
Yes, yes, the ladies are
coming round to us. I can see it every day.
The ladies are with us. The best helpers the language
has.
And the church, Father Moran?
The church too. Coming round too.
The work is going ahead there too.
Don’t fret about the church.
Bah! he had done well to leave the
room in disdain. He had done well not to salute
her on the steps of the library! He had done well
to leave her to flirt with her priest, to toy with
a church which was the scullery-maid of christendom.
Rude brutal anger routed the last
lingering instant of ecstasy from his soul. It
broke up violently her fair image and flung the fragments
on all sides. On all sides distorted reflections
of her image started from his memory: the flower
girl in the ragged dress with damp coarse hair and
a hoyden’s face who had called herself his own
girl and begged his handsel, the kitchen-girl in the
next house who sang over the clatter of her plates,
with the drawl of a country singer, the first bars
of by KILLARNEY’S Lakes and Fells,
a girl who had laughed gaily to see him stumble when
the iron grating in the footpath near Cork Hill had
caught the broken sole of his shoe, a girl he had
glanced at, attracted by her small ripe mouth, as
she passed out of Jacob’s biscuit factory, who
had cried to him over her shoulder:
Do you like what you seen
of me, straight hair and curly eyebrows?
And yet he felt that, however he might
revile and mock her image, his anger was also a form
of homage. He had left the classroom in disdain
that was not wholly sincere, feeling that perhaps the
secret of her race lay behind those dark eyes upon
which her long lashes flung a quick shadow. He
had told himself bitterly as he walked through the
streets that she was a figure of the womanhood of her
country, a bat-like soul waking to the consciousness
of itself in darkness and secrecy and loneliness,
tarrying awhile, loveless and sinless, with her mild
lover and leaving him to whisper of innocent transgressions
in the latticed ear of a priest. His anger against
her found vent in coarse railing at her paramour,
whose name and voice and features offended his baffled
pride: a priested peasant, with a brother a policeman
in Dublin and a brother a potboy in Moycullen.
To him she would unveil her soul’s shy nakedness,
to one who was but schooled in the discharging of
a formal rite rather than to him, a priest of the
eternal imagination, transmuting the daily bread of
experience into the radiant body of everliving life.
The radiant image of the eucharist
united again in an instant his bitter and despairing
thoughts, their cries arising unbroken in a hymn of
thanksgiving.
Our broken cries and mournful
lays
Rise in one eucharistic hymn
Are you not weary of ardent
ways?
While sacrificing hands upraise
The chalice flowing to the
brim.
Tell no more of enchanted
days.
He spoke the verses aloud from the
first lines till the music and rhythm suffused his
mind, turning it to quiet indulgence; then copied
them painfully to feel them the better by seeing them;
then lay back on his bolster.
The full morning light had come.
No sound was to be heard; but he knew that all around
him life was about to awaken in common noises, hoarse
voices, sleepy prayers. Shrinking from that life
he turned towards the wall, making a cowl of the blanket
and staring at the great overblown scarlet flowers
of the tattered wallpaper. He tried to warm his
perishing joy in their scarlet glow, imagining a roseway
from where he lay upwards to heaven all strewn with
scarlet flowers. Weary! Weary! He too
was weary of ardent ways.
A gradual warmth, a languorous weariness
passed over him descending along his spine from his
closely cowled head. He felt it descend and,
seeing himself as he lay, smiled. Soon he would
sleep.
He had written verses for her again
after ten years. Ten years before she had worn
her shawl cowlwise about her head, sending sprays of
her warm breath into the night air, tapping her foot
upon the glassy road. It was the last tram; the
lank brown horses knew it and shook their bells to
the clear night in admonition. The conductor talked
with the driver, both nodding often in the green light
of the lamp. They stood on the steps of the tram,
he on the upper, she on the lower. She came up
to his step many times between their phrases and went
down again and once or twice remained beside him forgetting
to go down and then went down. Let be! Let
be!
Ten years from that wisdom of children
to his folly. If he sent her the verses?
They would be read out at breakfast amid the tapping
of egg-shells. Folly indeed! Her brothers
would laugh and try to wrest the page from each other
with their strong hard fingers. The suave priest,
her uncle, seated in his arm-chair, would hold the
page at arm’s length, read it smiling and approve
of the literary form.
No, no; that was folly. Even
if he sent her the verses she would not show them
to others. No, no; she could not.
He began to feel that he had wronged
her. A sense of her innocence moved him almost
to pity her, an innocence he had never understood till
he had come to the knowledge of it through sin, an
innocence which she too had not understood while she
was innocent or before the strange humiliation of
her nature had first come upon her. Then first
her soul had begun to live as his soul had when he
had first sinned, and a tender compassion filled his
heart as he remembered her frail pallor and her eyes,
humbled and saddened by the dark shame of womanhood.
While his soul had passed from ecstasy
to languor where had she been? Might it be, in
the mysterious ways of spiritual life, that her soul
at those same moments had been conscious of his homage?
It might be.
A glow of desire kindled again his
soul and fired and fulfilled all his body. Conscious
of his desire she was waking from odorous sleep, the
temptress of his villanelle. Her eyes, dark and
with a look of languor, were opening to his eyes.
Her nakedness yielded to him, radiant, warm, odorous
and lavish-limbed, enfolded him like a shining cloud,
enfolded him like water with a liquid life; and like
a cloud of vapour or like waters circumfluent in space
the liquid letters of speech, symbols of the element
of mystery, flowed forth over his brain.
Are you not weary of ardent
ways,
Lure of the fallen seraphim?
Tell no more of enchanted
days.
Your eyes have set man’s
heart ablaze
And you have had your will
of him.
Are you not weary of ardent
ways?
Above the flame the smoke
of praise
Goes up from ocean rim to
rim.
Tell no more of enchanted
days.
Our broken cries and mournful
lays
Rise in one eucharistic hymn.
Are you not weary of ardent
ways?
While sacrificing hands upraise
The chalice flowing to the
brim.
Tell no more of enchanted
days.
And still you hold our longing
gaze
With languorous look and lavish
limb!
Are you not weary of ardent
ways?
Tell no more of enchanted
days.
What birds were they? He stood
on the steps of the library to look at them, leaning
wearily on his ashplant. They flew round and round
the jutting shoulder of a house in Molesworth Street.
The air of the late March evening made clear their
flight, their dark quivering bodies flying clearly
against the sky as against a limp-hung cloth of smoky
tenuous blue.
He watched their flight; bird after
bird: a dark flash, a swerve, a flutter of wings.
He tried to count them before all their darting quivering
bodies passed: six, ten, eleven: and wondered
were they odd or even in number. Twelve, thirteen:
for two came wheeling down from the upper sky.
They were flying high and low but ever round and round
in straight and curving lines and ever flying from
left to right, circling about a temple of air.
He listened to the cries: like
the squeak of mice behind the wainscot: a shrill
twofold note. But the notes were long and shrill
and whirring, unlike the cry of vermin, falling a
third or a fourth and trilled as the flying beaks
clove the air. Their cry was shrill and clear
and fine and falling like threads of silken light
unwound from whirring spools.
The inhuman clamour soothed his ears
in which his mother’s sobs and reproaches murmured
insistently and the dark frail quivering bodies wheeling
and fluttering and swerving round an airy temple of
the tenuous sky soothed his eyes which still saw the
image of his mother’s face.
Why was he gazing upwards from the
steps of the porch, hearing their shrill twofold cry,
watching their flight? For an augury of good or
evil? A phrase of Cornelius Agrippa flew through
his mind and then there flew hither and thither shapeless
thoughts from Swedenborg on the correspondence of
birds to things of the intellect and of how the creatures
of the air have their knowledge and know their times
and seasons because they, unlike man, are in the order
of their life and have not perverted that order by
reason.
And for ages men had gazed upward
as he was gazing at birds in flight. The colonnade
above him made him think vaguely of an ancient temple
and the ashplant on which he leaned wearily of the
curved stick of an augur. A sense of fear of
the unknown moved in the heart of his weariness, a
fear of symbols and portents, of the hawk-like man
whose name he bore soaring out of his captivity on
osier-woven wings, of Thoth, the god of writers, writing
with a reed upon a tablet and bearing on his narrow
ibis head the cusped moon.
He smiled as he thought of the god’s
image for it made him think of a bottle-nosed judge
in a wig, putting commas into a document which he
held at arm’s length, and he knew that he would
not have remembered the god’s name but that
it was like an Irish oath. It was folly.
But was it for this folly that he was about to leave
for ever the house of prayer and prudence into which
he had been born and the order of life out of which
he had come?
They came back with shrill cries over
the jutting shoulder of the house, flying darkly against
the fading air. What birds were they? He
thought that they must be swallows who had come back
from the south. Then he was to go away for they
were birds ever going and coming, building ever an
unlasting home under the eaves of men’s houses
and ever leaving the homes they had built to wander.
Bend down your faces, Oona
and Aleel.
I gaze upon them as the swallow
gazes
Upon the nest under the eave
before
He wander the loud waters.
A soft liquid joy like the noise of
many waters flowed over his memory and he felt in
his heart the soft peace of silent spaces of fading
tenuous sky above the waters, of oceanic silence, of
swallows flying through the sea-dusk over the flowing
waters.
A soft liquid joy flowed through the
words where the soft long vowels hurtled noiselessly
and fell away, lapping and flowing back and ever shaking
the white bells of their waves in mute chime and mute
peal, and soft low swooning cry; and he felt that
the augury he had sought in the wheeling darting birds
and in the pale space of sky above him had come forth
from his heart like a bird from a turret, quietly and
swiftly.
Symbol of departure or of loneliness?
The verses crooned in the ear of his memory composed
slowly before his remembering eyes the scene of the
hall on the night of the opening of the national theatre.
He was alone at the side of the balcony, looking out
of jaded eyes at the culture of Dublin in the stalls
and at the tawdry scene-cloths and human dolls framed
by the garish lamps of the stage. A burly policeman
sweated behind him and seemed at every moment about
to act. The catcalls and hisses and mocking cries
ran in rude gusts round the hall from his scattered
fellow students.
A libel on Ireland!
Made in Germany.
Blasphemy!
We never sold our faith!
No Irish woman ever did it!
We want no amateur atheists.
We want no budding buddhists.
A sudden swift hiss fell from the
windows above him and he knew that the electric lamps
had been switched on in the reader’s room.
He turned into the pillared hall, now calmly lit,
went up the staircase and passed in through the clicking
turnstile.
Cranly was sitting over near the dictionaries.
A thick book, opened at the frontispiece, lay before
him on the wooden rest. He leaned back in his
chair, inclining his ear like that of a confessor to
the face of the medical student who was reading to
him a problem from the chess page of a journal.
Stephen sat down at his right and the priest at the
other side of the table closed his copy of the
tablet with an angry snap and stood up.
Cranly gazed after him blandly and
vaguely. The medical student went on in a softer
voice:
Pawn to king’s fourth.
We had better go, Dixon,
said Stephen in warning. He has gone to complain.
Dixon folded the journal and rose with dignity, saying:
Our men retired in good order.
With guns and cattle, added Stephen, pointing
to the titlepage of
Cranly’s book on which was printed diseases
of the ox.
As they passed through a lane of the tables Stephen
said:
Cranly, I want to speak to you.
Cranly did not answer or turn.
He laid his book on the counter and passed out, his
well-shod feet sounding flatly on the floor. On
the staircase he paused and gazing absently at Dixon
repeated:
Pawn to king’s bloody fourth.
Put it that way if you like, Dixon said.
He had a quiet toneless voice and
urbane manners and on a finger of his plump clean
hand he displayed at moments a signet ring.
As they crossed the hall a man of
dwarfish stature came towards them. Under the
dome of his tiny hat his unshaven face began to smile
with pleasure and he was heard to murmur. The
eyes were melancholy as those of a monkey.
Good evening, gentlemen, said the stubble-grown
monkeyish face.
Warm weather for March,
said Cranly. They have the windows open upstairs.
Dixon smiled and turned his ring.
The blackish, monkey-puckered face pursed its human
mouth with gentle pleasure and its voice purred:
Delightful weather for March. Simply
delightful.
There are two nice young ladies upstairs,
captain, tired of waiting,
Dixon said.
Cranly smiled and said kindly:
The captain has only one
love: sir Walter Scott. Isn’t that
so, captain?
What are you reading now, captain?
Dixon asked. The Bride of
LAMMERMOOR?
I love old Scott, the
flexible lips said, I think he writes something lovely.
There is no writer can touch sir Walter Scott.
He moved a thin shrunken brown hand
gently in the air in time to his praise and his thin
quick eyelids beat often over his sad eyes.
Sadder to Stephen’s ear was
his speech: a genteel accent, low and moist,
marred by errors, and, listening to it, he wondered
was the story true and was the thin blood that flowed
in his shrunken frame noble and come of an incestuous
love?
The park trees were heavy with rain;
and rain fell still and ever in the lake, lying grey
like a shield. A game of swans flew there and
the water and the shore beneath were fouled with their
green-white slime. They embraced softly, impelled
by the grey rainy light, the wet silent trees, the
shield-like witnessing lake, the swans. They embraced
without joy or passion, his arm about his sister’s
neck. A grey woollen cloak was wrapped athwart
her from her shoulder to her waist and her fair head
was bent in willing shame. He had loose red-brown
hair and tender shapely strong freckled hands.
Face? There was no face seen. The brother’s
face was bent upon her fair rain-fragrant hair.
The hand freckled and strong and shapely and caressing
was Davin’s hand.
He frowned angrily upon his thought
and on the shrivelled mannikin who had called it forth.
His father’s jibes at the Bantry gang leaped
out of his memory. He held them at a distance
and brooded uneasily on his own thought again.
Why were they not Cranly’s hands? Had Davin’s
simplicity and innocence stung him more secretly?
He walked on across the hall with
Dixon, leaving Cranly to take leave elaborately of
the dwarf.
Under the colonnade Temple was standing
in the midst of a little group of students. One
of them cried:
Dixon, come over till
you hear. Temple is in grand form.
Temple turned on him his dark gipsy eyes.
You’re a hypocrite,
O’Keeffe, he said. And Dixon is a smiler.
By hell, I think that’s a good literary expression.
He laughed slyly, looking in Stephen’s face,
repeating:
By hell, I’m delighted with that
name. A smiler.
A stout student who stood below them on the steps
said:
Come back to the mistress, Temple.
We want to hear about that.
He had, faith, Temple
said. And he was a married man too. And all
the priests used to be dining there. By hell,
I think they all had a touch.
We shall call it riding a hack to spare
the hunter, said Dixon.
Tell us, Temple, O’Keeffe
said, how many quarts of porter have you in you?
All your intellectual
soul is in that phrase, O’Keeffe, said Temple
with open scorn.
He moved with a shambling gait round
the group and spoke to Stephen.
Did you know that the
Försters are the kings of Belgium? he asked.
Cranly came out through the door of
the entrance hall, his hat thrust back on the nape
of his neck and picking his teeth with care.
And here’s the wiseacre,
said Temple. Do you know that about the Försters?
He paused for an answer. Cranly
dislodged a figseed from his teeth on the point of
his rude toothpick and gazed at it intently.
The Forster family, Temple
said, is descended from Baldwin the First, king of
Flanders. He was called the Forester. Forester
and Forster are the same name. A descendant of
Baldwin the First, captain Francis Forster, settled
in Ireland and married the daughter of the last chieftain
of Clanbrassil. Then there are the Blake Försters.
That’s a different branch.
From Baldhead, king of
Flanders, Cranly repeated, rooting again deliberately
at his gleaming uncovered teeth.
Where did you pick up all that history?
O’Keeffe asked.
I know all the history of your family,
too, Temple said, turning to
Stephen. Do you know what Giraldus Cambrensis
says about your family?
Is he descended from Baldwin
too? asked a tall consumptive student with dark eyes.
Baldhead, Cranly repeated, sucking at
a crevice in his teeth.
PERNOBILIS et PERVETUSTA Familia,
Temple said to Stephen.
The stout student who stood below
them on the steps farted briefly. Dixon turned
towards him, saying in a soft voice:
Did an angel speak?
Cranly turned also and said vehemently but without
anger:
Goggins, you’re the flamingest dirty
devil I ever met, do you know.
I had it on my mind to
say that, Goggins answered firmly. It did no
one any harm, did it?
We hope, Dixon said suavely,
that it was not of the kind known to science as a
Paulo post futurum.
Didn’t I tell you
he was a smiler? said Temple, turning right and left.
Didn’t I give him that name?
You did. We’re not deaf, said
the tall consumptive.
Cranly still frowned at the stout
student below him. Then, with a snort of disgust,
he shoved him violently down the steps.
Go away from here, he
said rudely. Go away, you stinkpot. And you
are a stinkpot.
Goggins skipped down on to the gravel
and at once returned to his place with good humour.
Temple turned back to Stephen and asked:
Do you believe in the law of heredity?
Are you drunk or what are you or what
are you trying to say? asked
Cranly, facing round on him with an expression of
wonder.
The most profound sentence
ever written, Temple said with enthusiasm, is the
sentence at the end of the zoology. Reproduction
is the beginning of death.
He touched Stephen timidly at the elbow and said eagerly:
Do you feel how profound that is because
you are a poet?
Cranly pointed his long forefinger.
Look at him! he said with scorn to the
others. Look at Ireland’s hope!
They laughed at his words and gesture.
Temple turned on him bravely, saying:
Cranly, you’re always
sneering at me. I can see that. But I am
as good as you any day. Do you know what I think
about you now as compared with myself?
My dear man, said Cranly
urbanely, you are incapable, do you know, absolutely
incapable of thinking.
But do you know, Temple
went on, what I think of you and of myself compared
together?
Out with it, Temple! the
stout student cried from the steps. Get it out
in bits!
Temple turned right and left, making
sudden feeble gestures as he spoke.
I’m a ballocks,
he said, shaking his head in despair. I am and
I know I am. And I admit it that I am.
Dixon patted him lightly on the shoulder and said
mildly:
And it does you every credit, Temple.
But he, Temple said, pointing
to Cranly, he is a ballocks, too, like me. Only
he doesn’t know it. And that’s the
only difference I see.
A burst of laughter covered his words.
But he turned again to Stephen and said with a sudden
eagerness:
That word is a most interesting
word. That’s the only English dual number.
Did you know?
Is it? Stephen said vaguely.
He was watching Cranly’s firm-featured
suffering face, lit up now by a smile of false patience.
The gross name had passed over it like foul water
poured over an old stone image, patient of injuries;
and, as he watched him, he saw him raise his hat in
salute and uncover the black hair that stood stiffly
from his forehead like an iron crown.
She passed out from the porch of the
library and bowed across Stephen in reply to Cranly’s
greeting. He also? Was there not a slight
flush on Cranly’s cheek? Or had it come
forth at Temple’s words? The light had
waned. He could not see.
Did that explain his friend’s
listless silence, his harsh comments, the sudden intrusions
of rude speech with which he had shattered so often
Stephen’s ardent wayward confessions? Stephen
had forgiven freely for he had found this rudeness
also in himself. And he remembered an evening
when he had dismounted from a borrowed creaking bicycle
to pray to God in a wood near Malahide. He had
lifted up his arms and spoken in ecstasy to the sombre
nave of the trees, knowing that he stood on holy ground
and in a holy hour. And when two constabulary
men had come into sight round a bend in the gloomy
road he had broken off his prayer to whistle loudly
an air from the last pantomime.
He began to beat the frayed end of
his ashplant against the base of a pillar. Had
Cranly not heard him? Yet he could wait.
The talk about him ceased for a moment and a soft
hiss fell again from a window above. But no other
sound was in the air and the swallows whose flight
he had followed with idle eyes were sleeping.
She had passed through the dusk.
And therefore the air was silent save for one soft
hiss that fell. And therefore the tongues about
him had ceased their babble. Darkness was falling.
Darkness falls from the air.
A trembling joy, lambent as a faint
light, played like a fairy host around him. But
why? Her passage through the darkening air or
the verse with its black vowels and its opening sound,
rich and lutelike?
He walked away slowly towards the
deeper shadows at the end of the colonnade, beating
the stone softly with his stick to hide his revery
from the students whom he had left: and allowed
his mind to summon back to itself the age of Dowland
and Byrd and Nash.
Eyes, opening from the darkness of
desire, eyes that dimmed the breaking east. What
was their languid grace but the softness of chambering?
And what was their shimmer but the shimmer of the scum
that mantled the cesspool of the court of a slobbering
Stuart. And he tasted in the language of memory
ambered wines, dying fallings of sweet airs, the proud
pavan, and saw with the eyes of memory kind gentlewomen
in Covent Garden wooing from their balconies with
sucking mouths and the pox-fouled wenches of the taverns
and young wives that, gaily yielding to their ravishers,
clipped and clipped again.
The images he had summoned gave him
no pleasure. They were secret and inflaming but
her image was not entangled by them. That was
not the way to think of her. It was not even
the way in which he thought of her. Could his
mind then not trust itself? Old phrases, sweet
only with a disinterred sweetness like the figseeds
Cranly rooted out of his gleaming teeth.
It was not thought nor vision though
he knew vaguely that her figure was passing homeward
through the city. Vaguely first and then more
sharply he smelt her body. A conscious unrest
seethed in his blood. Yes, it was her body he
smelt, a wild and languid smell, the tepid limbs over
which his music had flowed desirously and the secret
soft linen upon which her flesh distilled odour and
a dew.
A louse crawled over the nape of his
neck and, putting his thumb and forefinger deftly
beneath his loose collar, he caught it. He rolled
its body, tender yet brittle as a grain of rice, between
thumb and finger for an instant before he let it fall
from him and wondered would it live or die. There
came to his mind a curious phrase from Cornelius
A lapide which said that the lice born of human
sweat were not created by God with the other animals
on the sixth day. But the tickling of the skin
of his neck made his mind raw and red. The life
of his body, ill clad, ill fed, louse-eaten, made
him close his eyelids in a sudden spasm of despair
and in the darkness he saw the brittle bright bodies
of lice falling from the air and turning often as they
fell. Yes, and it was not darkness that fell
from the air. It was brightness.
Brightness falls from the
air.
He had not even remembered rightly
Nash’s line. All the images it had awakened
were false. His mind bred vermin. His thoughts
were lice born of the sweat of sloth.
He came back quickly along the colonnade
towards the group of students. Well then, let
her go and be damned to her! She could love some
clean athlete who washed himself every morning to
the waist and had black hair on his chest. Let
her.
Cranly had taken another dried fig
from the supply in his pocket and was eating it slowly
and noisily. Temple sat on the pediment of a
pillar, leaning back, his cap pulled down on his sleepy
eyes. A squat young man came out of the porch,
a leather portfolio tucked under his armpit.
He marched towards the group, striking the flags with
the heels of his boots and with the ferrule of his
heavy umbrella. Then, raising the umbrella in
salute, he said to all:
Good evening, sirs.
He struck the flags again and tittered
while his head trembled with a slight nervous movement.
The tall consumptive student and Dixon and O’Keeffe
were speaking in Irish and did not answer him.
Then, turning to Cranly, he said:
Good evening, particularly to you.
He moved the umbrella in indication
and tittered again. Cranly, who was still chewing
the fig, answered with loud movements of his jaws.
Good? Yes. It is a good evening.
The squat student looked at him seriously
and shook his umbrella gently and reprovingly.
I can see, he said, that
you are about to make obvious remarks.
Um, Cranly answered, holding
out what remained of the half chewed fig and jerking
it towards the squat student’s mouth in sign
that he should eat.
The squat student did not eat it but,
indulging his special humour, said gravely, still
tittering and prodding his phrase with his umbrella:
Do you intend that...?
He broke off, pointed bluntly to the
munched pulp of the fig, and said loudly:
I allude to that.
Um, Cranly said as before.
Do you intend that now,
the squat student said, as ipso facto or,
let us say, as so to speak?
Dixon turned aside from his group, saying:
Goggins was waiting for
you, Glynn. He has gone round to the Adelphi
to look for you and Moynihan. What have you there?
he asked, tapping the portfolio under Glynn’s
arm.
Examination papers, Glynn
answered. I give them monthly examinations to
see that they are profiting by my tuition.
He also tapped the portfolio and coughed
gently and smiled.
Tuition! said Cranly rudely.
I suppose you mean the barefooted children that are
taught by a bloody ape like you. God help them!
He bit off the rest of the fig and flung away the
butt.
I suffer little children to come unto
me, Glynn said amiably.
A bloody ape, Cranly repeated
with emphasis, and a blasphemous bloody ape!
Temple stood up and, pushing past Cranly, addressed
Glynn:
That phrase you said now,
he said, is from the new testament about suffer the
children to come to me.
Go to sleep again, Temple, said O’Keeffe.
Very well, then, Temple
continued, still addressing Glynn, and if Jesus suffered
the children to come why does the church send them
all to hell if they die unbaptized? Why is that?
Were you baptized yourself, Temple? the
consumptive student asked.
But why are they sent to hell if Jesus
said they were all to come?
Temple said, his eyes searching Glynn’s eyes.
Glynn coughed and said gently, holding
back with difficulty the nervous titter in his voice
and moving his umbrella at every word:
And, as you remark, if
it is thus, I ask emphatically whence comes this thusness.
Because the church is
cruel like all old sinners, Temple said.
Are you quite orthodox
on that point, Temple? Dixon said suavely.
Saint Augustine says that
about unbaptized children going to hell, Temple answered,
because he was a cruel old sinner too.
I bow to you, Dixon said,
but I had the impression that limbo existed for such
cases.
Don’t argue with
him, Dixon, Cranly said brutally. Don’t
talk to him or look at him. Lead him home with
a sugan the way you’d lead a bleating goat.
Limbo! Temple cried.
That’s a fine invention too. Like hell.
But with the unpleasantness left out,
Dixon said.
He turned smiling to the others and said:
I think I am voicing the opinions of all
present in saying so much.
You are, Glynn said in a firm tone.
On that point Ireland is united.
He struck the ferrule of his umbrella
on the stone floor of the colonnade.
Hell, Temple said.
I can respect that invention of the grey spouse of
Satan. Hell is Roman, like the walls of the Romans,
strong and ugly. But what is limbo?
Put him back into the perambulator, Cranly,
O’Keeffe called out.
Cranly made a swift step towards Temple,
halted, stamping his foot, crying as if to a fowl:
Hoosh!
Temple moved away nimbly.
Do you know what limbo
is? he cried. Do you know what we call a notion
like that in Roscommon?
Hoosh! Blast you! Cranly cried,
clapping his hands.
Neither my arse nor my
elbow! Temple cried out scornfully. And
that’s what I call limbo.
Give us that stick here, Cranly said.
He snatched the ashplant roughly from
Stephen’s hand and sprang down the steps:
but Temple, hearing him move in pursuit, fled through
the dusk like a wild creature, nimble and fleet-footed.
Cranly’s heavy boots were heard loudly charging
across the quadrangle and then returning heavily,
foiled and spurning the gravel at each step.
His step was angry and with an angry
abrupt gesture he thrust the stick back into Stephen’s
hand. Stephen felt that his anger had another
cause but, feigning patience, touched his arm slightly
and said quietly:
Cranly, I told you I wanted to speak to
you. Come away.
Cranly looked at him for a few moments and asked:
Now?
Yes, now, Stephen said. We can’t
speak here. Come away.
They crossed the quadrangle together
without speaking. The bird call from Siegfried
whistled softly followed them from the steps of the
porch. Cranly turned, and Dixon, who had whistled,
called out:
Where are you fellows off to? What
about that game, Cranly?
They parleyed in shouts across the
still air about a game of billiards to be played in
the Adelphi hotel. Stephen walked on alone and
out into the quiet of Kildare Street opposite Maple’s
hotel he stood to wait, patient again. The name
of the hotel, a colourless polished wood, and its
colourless front stung him like a glance of polite
disdain. He stared angrily back at the softly
lit drawing-room of the hotel in which he imagined
the sleek lives of the patricians of Ireland housed
in calm. They thought of army commissions and
land agents: peasants greeted them along the
roads in the country; they knew the names of certain
French dishes and gave orders to jarvies in high-pitched
provincial voices which pierced through their skin-tight
accents.
How could he hit their conscience
or how cast his shadow over the imaginations of their
daughters, before their squires begat upon them, that
they might breed a race less ignoble than their own?
And under the deepened dusk he felt the thoughts and
desires of the race to which he belonged flitting
like bats across the dark country lanes, under trees
by the edges of streams and near the pool-mottled bogs.
A woman had waited in the doorway as Davin had passed
by at night and, offering him a cup of milk, had all
but wooed him to her bed; for Davin had the mild eyes
of one who could be secret. But him no woman’s
eyes had wooed.
His arm was taken in a strong grip
and Cranly’s voice said:
Let us eke go.
They walked southward in silence. Then Cranly
said:
That blithering idiot, Temple! I
swear to Moses, do you know, that
I’ll be the death of that fellow one time.
But his voice was no longer angry
and Stephen wondered was he thinking of her greeting
to him under the porch.
They turned to the left and walked
on as before. When they had gone on so for some
time Stephen said:
Cranly, I had an unpleasant quarrel this
evening.
With your people? Cranly asked.
With my mother.
About religion?
Yes, Stephen answered.
After a pause Cranly asked:
What age is your mother?
Not old, Stephen said. She wishes
me to make my easter duty.
And will you?
I will not, Stephen said.
Why not? Cranly said.
I will not serve, answered Stephen.
That remark was made before, Cranly said
calmly.
It is made behind now, said Stephen hotly.
Cranly pressed Stephen’s arm, saying:
Go easy, my dear man. You’re
an excitable bloody man, do you know.
He laughed nervously as he spoke and,
looking up into Stephen’s face with moved and
friendly eyes, said:
Do you know that you are an excitable
man?
I daresay I am, said Stephen, laughing
also.
Their minds, lately estranged, seemed
suddenly to have been drawn closer, one to the other.
Do you believe in the eucharist?
Cranly asked.
I do not, Stephen said.
Do you disbelieve then?
I neither believe in it nor disbelieve
in it, Stephen answered.
Many persons have doubts,
even religious persons, yet they overcome them or
put them aside, Cranly said. Are your doubts on
that point too strong?
I do not wish to overcome them, Stephen
answered.
Cranly, embarrassed for a moment,
took another fig from his pocket and was about to
eat it when Stephen said:
Don’t, please.
You cannot discuss this question with your mouth full
of chewed fig.
Cranly examined the fig by the light
of a lamp under which he halted. Then he smelt
it with both nostrils, bit a tiny piece, spat it out
and threw the fig rudely into the gutter.
Addressing it as it lay, he said:
Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting
fire!
Taking Stephen’s arms, he went on again and
said:
Do you not fear that those words may be
spoken to you on the day of
Judgement?
What is offered me on
the other hand? Stephen asked. An eternity
of bliss in the company of the dean of studies?
Remember, Cranly said, that he would be
glorified.
Ay, Stephen said somewhat
bitterly, bright, agile, impassible and, above all,
subtle.
It is a curious thing,
do you know, Cranly said dispassionately, how your
mind is supersaturated with the religion in which you
say you disbelieve. Did you believe in it when
you were at school? I bet you did.
I did, Stephen answered.
And were you happier then?
Cranly asked softly, happier than you are now, for
instance?
Often happy, Stephen said,
and often unhappy. I was someone else then.
How someone else? What do you mean
by that statement?
I mean, said Stephen,
that I was not myself as I am now, as I had to become.
Not as you are now, not
as you had to become, Cranly repeated. Let me
ask you a question. Do you love your mother?
Stephen shook his head slowly.
I don’t know what your words mean,
he said simply.
Have you never loved anyone? Cranly
asked.
Do you mean women?
I am not speaking of that,
Cranly said in a colder tone. I ask you if you
ever felt love towards anyone or anything?
Stephen walked on beside his friend, staring gloomily
at the footpath.
I tried to love God, he
said at length. It seems now I failed. It
is very difficult. I tried to unite my will with
the will of God instant by instant. In that I
did not always fail. I could perhaps do that
still
Cranly cut him short by asking:
Has your mother had a happy life?
How do I know? Stephen said.
How many children had she?
Nine or ten, Stephen answered. Some
died.
Was your father...
Cranly interrupted himself for an instant, and then
said: I don’t want to pry into your family
affairs. But was your father what is called well-to-do?
I mean, when you were growing up?
Yes, Stephen said.
What was he? Cranly asked after a
pause.
Stephen began to enumerate glibly his father’s
attributes.
A medical student, an
oarsman, a tenor, an amateur actor, a shouting politician,
a small landlord, a small investor, a drinker, a good
fellow, a story-teller, somebody’s secretary,
something in a distillery, a tax-gatherer, a bankrupt
and at present a praiser of his own past.
Cranly laughed, tightening his grip on Stephen’s
arm, and said:
The distillery is damn good.
Is there anything else you want to know?
Stephen asked.
Are you in good circumstances at present?
Do I look it? Stephen asked bluntly.
So then, Cranly went on musingly, you
were born in the lap of luxury.
He used the phrase broadly and loudly
as he often used technical expressions, as if he wished
his hearer to understand that they were used by him
without conviction.
Your mother must have
gone through a good deal of suffering, he said then.
Would you not try to save her from suffering more even
if... or would you?
If I could, Stephen said, that would cost
me very little.
Then do so, Cranly said.
Do as she wishes you to do. What is it for you?
You disbelieve in it. It is a form: nothing
else. And you will set her mind at rest.
He ceased and, as Stephen did not
reply, remained silent. Then, as if giving utterance
to the process of his own thought, he said:
Whatever else is unsure
in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother’s
love is not. Your mother brings you into the world,
carries you first in her body. What do we know
about what she feels? But whatever she feels,
it, at least, must be real. It must be. What
are our ideas or ambitions? Play. Ideas!
Why, that bloody bleating goat Temple has ideas.
MacCann has ideas too. Every jackass going the
roads thinks he has ideas.
Stephen, who had been listening to
the unspoken speech behind the words, said with assumed
carelessness:
Pascal, if I remember
rightly, would not suffer his mother to kiss him as
he feared the contact of her sex.
Pascal was a pig, said Cranly.
Aloysius Gonzaga, I think, was of the
same mind, Stephen said.
And he was another pig then, said Cranly.
The church calls him a saint, Stephen
objected.
I don’t care a flaming
damn what anyone calls him, Cranly said rudely and
flatly. I call him a pig.
Stephen, preparing the words neatly in his mind, continued:
Jesus, too, seems to have
treated his mother with scant courtesy in public but
Suarez, a jesuit theologian and Spanish gentleman,
has apologized for him.
Did the idea ever occur
to you, Cranly asked, that Jesus was not what he pretended
to be?
The first person to whom
that idea occurred, Stephen answered, was Jesus himself.
I mean, Cranly said, hardening
in his speech, did the idea ever occur to you that
he was himself a conscious hypocrite, what he called
the jews of his time, a whited sepulchre? Or,
to put it more plainly, that he was a blackguard?
That idea never occurred
to me, Stephen answered. But I am curious to
know are you trying to make a convert of me or a pervert
of yourself?
He turned towards his friend’s
face and saw there a raw smile which some force of
will strove to make finely significant.
Cranly asked suddenly in a plain sensible tone:
Tell me the truth. Were you at all
shocked by what I said?
Somewhat, Stephen said.
And why were you shocked,
Cranly pressed on in the same tone, if you feel sure
that our religion is false and that Jesus was not the
son of God?
I am not at all sure of it, Stephen said.
He is more like a son of
God than a son of Mary.
And is that why you will
not communicate, Cranly asked, because you are not
sure of that too, because you feel that the host, too,
may be the body and blood of the son of God and not
a wafer of bread? And because you fear that it
may be?
Yes, Stephen said quietly, I feel that
and I also fear it.
I see, Cranly said.
Stephen, struck by his tone of closure,
reopened the discussion at once by saying:
I fear many things: dogs, horses,
fire-arms, the sea,
thunder-storms, machinery, the country roads at night.
But why do you fear a bit of bread?
I imagine, Stephen said,
that there is a malevolent reality behind those things
I say I fear.
Do you fear then, Cranly
asked, that the God of the Roman catholics would strike
you dead and damn you if you made a sacrilegious communion?
The God of the Roman catholics
could do that now, Stephen said. I fear more
than that the chemical action which would be set up
in my soul by a false homage to a symbol behind which
are massed twenty centuries of authority and veneration.
Would you, Cranly asked,
in extreme danger, commit that particular sacrilege?
For instance, if you lived in the penal days?
I cannot answer for the
past, Stephen replied. Possibly not.
Then, said Cranly, you
do not intend to become a protestant?
I said that I had lost
the faith, Stephen answered, but not that I had lost
self-respect. What kind of liberation would that
be to forsake an absurdity which is logical and coherent
and to embrace one which is illogical and incoherent?
They had walked on towards the township
of Pembroke and now, as they went on slowly along
the avenues, the trees and the scattered lights in
the villas soothed their minds. The air of wealth
and repose diffused about them seemed to comfort their
neediness. Behind a hedge of laurel a light glimmered
in the window of a kitchen and the voice of a servant
was heard singing as she sharpened knives. She
sang, in short broken bars:
Rosie O’Grady.
Cranly stopped to listen, saying:
Mulier CANTAT.
The soft beauty of the Latin word
touched with an enchanting touch the dark of the evening,
with a touch fainter and more persuading than the
touch of music or of a woman’s hand. The
strife of their minds was quelled. The figure
of a woman as she appears in the liturgy of the church
passed silently through the darkness: a white-robed
figure, small and slender as a boy, and with a falling
girdle. Her voice, frail and high as a boy’s,
was heard intoning from a distant choir the first
words of a woman which pierce the gloom and clamour
of the first chanting of the passion:
Et Tu cum Jesu GALILAEO
eras.
And all hearts were touched and turned
to her voice, shining like a young star, shining clearer
as the voice intoned the proparoxytone and more faintly
as the cadence died.
The singing ceased. They went
on together, Cranly repeating in strongly stressed
rhythm the end of the refrain:
And when we are married,
O, how happy we’ll be
For I love sweet Rosie O’Grady
And Rosie O’Grady loves
me.
There’s real poetry
for you, he said. There’s real love.
He glanced sideways at Stephen with
a strange smile and said:
Do you consider that poetry?
Or do you know what the words mean?
I want to see Rosie first, said Stephen.
She’s easy to find, Cranly said.
His hat had come down on his forehead.
He shoved it back and in the shadow of the trees Stephen
saw his pale face, framed by the dark, and his large
dark eyes. Yes. His face was handsome and
his body was strong and hard. He had spoken of
a mother’s love. He felt then the sufferings
of women, the weaknesses of their bodies and souls;
and would shield them with a strong and resolute arm
and bow his mind to them.
Away then: it is time to go.
A voice spoke softly to Stephen’s lonely heart,
bidding him go and telling him that his friendship
was coming to an end. Yes; he would go.
He could not strive against another. He knew
his part.
Probably I shall go away, he said.
Where? Cranly asked.
Where I can, Stephen said.
Yes, Cranly said. It might be difficult
for you to live here now.
But is it that makes you go?
I have to go, Stephen answered.
Because, Cranly continued,
you need not look upon yourself as driven away if
you do not wish to go or as a heretic or an outlaw.
There are many good believers who think as you do.
Would that surprise you? The church is not the
stone building nor even the clergy and their dogmas.
It is the whole mass of those born into it. I
don’t know what you wish to do in life.
Is it what you told me the night we were standing
outside Harcourt Street station?
Yes, Stephen said, smiling
in spite of himself at Cranly’s way of remembering
thoughts in connexion with places. The night you
spent half an hour wrangling with Doherty about the
shortest way from Sallygap to Larras.
Pothead! Cranly said
with calm contempt. What does he know about the
way from Sallygap to Larras? Or what does
he know about anything for that matter? And the
big slobbering washing-pot head of him!
He broke into a loud long laugh.
Well? Stephen said. Do you remember
the rest?
What you said, is it?
Cranly asked. Yes, I remember it. To discover
the mode of life or of art whereby your spirit could
express itself in unfettered freedom.
Stephen raised his hat in acknowledgement.
Freedom! Cranly repeated.
But you are not free enough yet to commit a sacrilege.
Tell me would you rob?
I would beg first, Stephen said.
And if you got nothing, would you rob?
You wish me to say, Stephen
answered, that the rights of property are provisional,
and that in certain circumstances it is not unlawful
to rob. Everyone would act in that belief.
So I will not make you that answer. Apply to
the jesuit theologian, Juan Mariana de Talavera, who
will also explain to you in what circumstances you
may lawfully Kill your king and whether you had better
hand him his poison in a goblet or smear it for him
upon his robe or his saddlebow. Ask me rather
would I suffer others to rob me, or if they did, would
I call down upon them what I believe is called the
chastisement of the secular arm?
And would you?
I think, Stephen said,
it would pain me as much to do so as to be robbed.
I see, Cranly said.
He produced his match and began to clean the crevice
between two teeth.
Then he said carelessly:
Tell me, for example, would you deflower
a virgin?
Excuse me, Stephen said
politely, is that not the ambition of most young gentlemen?
What then is your point of view?
Cranly asked.
His last phrase, sour smelling as
the smoke of charcoal and disheartening, excited Stephen’s
brain, over which its fumes seemed to brood.
Look here, Cranly, he
said. You have asked me what I would do and what
I would not do. I will tell you what I will do
and what I will not do. I will not serve that
in which I no longer believe, whether it call itself
my home, my fatherland, or my church: and I will
try to express myself in some mode of life or art
as freely as I can and as wholly as I can, using for
my defence the only arms I allow myself to use silence,
exile, and cunning.
Cranly seized his arm and steered
him round so as to lead him back towards Leeson Park.
He laughed almost slyly and pressed Stephen’s
arm with an elder’s affection.
Cunning indeed! he said. Is it you?
You poor poet, you!
And you made me confess
to you, Stephen said, thrilled by his touch, as I
have confessed to you so many other things, have I
not?
Yes, my child, Cranly said, still gaily.
You made me confess the
fears that I have. But I will tell you also what
I do not fear. I do not fear to be alone or to
be spurned for another or to leave whatever I have
to leave. And I am not afraid to make a mistake,
even a great mistake, a lifelong mistake, and perhaps
as long as eternity too.
Cranly, now grave again, slowed his pace and said:
Alone, quite alone.
You have no fear of that. And you know what that
word means? Not only to be separate from all others
but to have not even one friend.
I will take the risk, said Stephen.
And not to have any one
person, Cranly said, who would be more than a friend,
more even than the noblest and truest friend a man
ever had.
His words seemed to have struck some
deep chord in his own nature. Had he spoken of
himself, of himself as he was or wished to be?
Stephen watched his face for some moments in silence.
A cold sadness was there. He had spoken of himself,
of his own loneliness which he feared.
Of whom are you speaking? Stephen
asked at length.
Cranly did not answer.
March 20. Long talk with Cranly on the subject
of my revolt.
He had his grand manner on. I
supple and suave. Attacked me on the score of
love for one’s mother. Tried to imagine
his mother: cannot. Told me once, in a moment
of thoughtlessness, his father was sixty-one when
he was born. Can see him. Strong farmer type.
Pepper and salt suit. Square feet. Unkempt,
grizzled beard. Probably attends coursing matches.
Pays his dues regularly but not plentifully to Father
Dwyer of Larras. Sometimes talks to girls
after nightfall. But his mother? Very young
or very old? Hardly the first. If so, Cranly
would not have spoken as he did. Old then.
Probably, and neglected. Hence Cranly’s
despair of soul: the child of exhausted loins.
March 21, morning.
Thought this in bed last night but was too lazy and
free to add to it. Free, yes. The exhausted
loins are those of Elizabeth and Zacchary. Then
he is the precursor. Item: he eats chiefly
belly bacon and dried figs. Read locusts and wild
honey. Also, when thinking of him, saw always
a stern severed head or death mask as if outlined
on a grey curtain or verónica. Decollation
they call it in the gold. Puzzled for the moment
by saint John at the Latin gate. What do I see?
A decollated percursor trying to pick the lock.
March 21, night. Free.
Soul free and fancy free. Let the dead bury the
dead. Ay. And let the dead marry the dead.
March 22. In company with
Lynch followed a sizeable hospital nurse. Lynch’s
idea. Dislike it. Two lean hungry greyhounds
walking after a heifer.
March 23. Have not seen
her since that night. Unwell? Sits at the
fire perhaps with mamma’s shawl on her shoulders.
But not peevish. A nice bowl of gruel? Won’t
you now?
March 24. Began with a discussion
with my mother. Subject: B.V.M. Handicapped
by my sex and youth. To escape held up relations
between Jesus and Papa against those between Mary
and her son. Said religion was not a lying-in
hospital. Mother indulgent. Said I have a
queer mind and have read too much. Not true.
Have read little and understood less. Then she
said I would come back to faith because I had a restless
mind. This means to leave church by back door
of sin and re-enter through the skylight of repentance.
Cannot repent. Told her so and asked for sixpence.
Got threepence.
Then went to college. Other wrangle
with little round head rogue’s eye Ghezzi.
This time about Bruno the Nolan. Began in Italian
and ended in pidgin English. He said Bruno was
a terrible heretic. I said he was terribly burned.
He agreed to this with some sorrow. Then gave
me recipe for what he calls risotto Alla
BERGAMASCA. When he pronounces a soft O he protrudes
his full carnal lips as if he kissed the vowel.
Has he? And could he repent? Yes, he could:
and cry two round rogue’s tears, one from each
eye.
Crossing Stephen’s, that is,
my green, remembered that his countrymen and not mine
had invented what Cranly the other night called our
religion. A quartet of them, soldiers of the ninety-seventh
infantry regiment, sat at the foot of the cross and
tossed up dice for the overcoat of the crucified.
Went to library. Tried to read
three reviews. Useless. She is not out yet.
Am I alarmed? About what? That she will never
be out again.
Blake wrote:
I wonder if William Bond will
die
For assuredly he is very ill.
Alas, poor William!
I was once at a diorama in Rotunda.
At the end were pictures of big nobs. Among them
William Ewart Gladstone, just then dead. Orchestra
played O Willie, we have missed
you.
A race of clodhoppers!
March 25, morning.
A troubled night of dreams. Want to get them off
my chest.
A long curving gallery. From
the floor ascend pillars of dark vapours. It
is peopled by the images of fabulous kings, set in
stone. Their hands are folded upon their knees
in token of weariness and their eyes are darkened
for the errors of men go up before them for ever as
dark vapours.
Strange figures advance as from a
cave. They are not as tall as men. One does
not seem to stand quite apart from another. Their
faces are phosphorescent, with darker streaks.
They peer at me and their eyes seem to ask me something.
They do not speak.
March 30. This evening Cranly
was in the porch of the library, proposing a problem
to Dixon and her brother. A mother let her child
fall into the Nile. Still harping on the mother.
A crocodile seized the child. Mother asked it
back. Crocodile said all right if she told him
what he was going to do with the child, eat it or not
eat It.
This mentality, Lepidus would say,
is indeed bred out of your mud by the operation of
your sun.
And mine? Is it not too? Then into Nile
mud with it!
April 1. Disapprove of this last phrase.
April 2. Saw her drinking
tea and eating cakes in Johnston’s, Mooney and
O’Brien’s. Rather, lynx-eyed Lynch
saw her as we passed. He tells me Cranly was
invited there by brother. Did he bring his crocodile?
Is he the shining light now? Well, I discovered
him. I protest I did. Shining quietly behind
a bushel of Wicklow bran.
April 3. Met Davin at the
cigar shop opposite Findlater’s church.
He was in a black sweater and had a hurley stick.
Asked me was it true I was going away and why.
Told him the shortest way to Tara was Via Holyhead.
Just then my father came up. Introduction.
Father polite and observant. Asked Davin if he
might offer him some refreshment. Davin could
not, was going to a meeting. When we came away
father told me he had a good honest eye. Asked
me why I did not join a rowing club. I pretended
to think it over. Told me then how he broke Pennyfeather’s
heart. Wants me to read law. Says I was cut
out for that. More mud, more crocodiles.
April 5. Wild spring.
Scudding clouds. O life! Dark stream of swirling
bogwater on which apple-trees have cast down their
delicate flowers. Eyes of girls among the leaves.
Girls demure and romping. All fair or auburn:
no dark ones. They blush better. Houpla!
April 6. Certainly she remembers
the past. Lynch says all women do. Then
she remembers the time of her childhood and
mine, if I was ever a child. The past is consumed
in the present and the present is living only because
it brings forth the future. Statues of women,
if Lynch be right, should always be fully draped,
one hand of the woman feeling regretfully her own
hinder parts.
April 6, Later. Michael
Robartes remembers forgotten beauty and, when his
arms wrap her round, he presses in his arms the loveliness
which has long faded from the world. Not this.
Not at all. I desire to press in my arms the
loveliness which has not yet come into the world.
April 10. Faintly, under
the heavy night, through the silence of the city which
has turned from dreams to dreamless sleep as a weary
lover whom no caresses move, the sound of hoofs upon
the road. Not so faintly now as they come near
the bridge; and in a moment, as they pass the darkened
windows, the silence is cloven by alarm as by an arrow.
They are heard now far away, hoofs that shine amid
the heavy night as gems, hurrying beyond the sleeping
fields to what journey’s end what
heart? bearing what tidings?
April 11. Read what I wrote
last night. Vague words for a vague emotion.
Would she like it? I think so. Then I should
have to like it also.
April 13. That tundish has
been on my mind for a long time. I looked it
up and find it English and good old blunt English too.
Damn the dean of studies and his funnel! What
did he come here for to teach us his own language
or to learn it from us. Damn him one way or the
other!
April 14. John Alphonsus
Mulrennan has just returned from the west of Ireland.
European and Asiatic papers please copy. He told
us he met an old man there in a mountain cabin.
Old man had red eyes and short pipe. Old man
spoke Irish. Mulrennan spoke Irish. Then
old man and Mulrennan spoke English. Mulrennan
spoke to him about universe and stars. Old man
sat, listened, smoked, spat. Then said:
Ah, there must be terrible
queer creatures at the latter end of the world.
I fear him. I fear his red-rimmed
horny eyes. It is with him I must struggle all
through this night till day come, till he or I lie
dead, gripping him by the sinewy throat till...
Till what? Till he yield to me? No.
I mean no harm.
April 15. Met her today
point blank in Grafton Street. The crowd brought
us together. We both stopped. She asked me
why I never came, said she had heard all sorts of
stories about me. This was only to gain time.
Asked me was I writing poems? About whom?
I asked her. This confused her more and I felt
sorry and mean. Turned off that valve at once
and opened the spiritual-heroic refrigerating apparatus,
invented and patented in all countries by Dante Alighieri.
Talked rapidly of myself and my plans. In the
midst of it unluckily I made a sudden gesture of a
revolutionary nature. I must have looked like
a fellow throwing a handful of peas into the air.
People began to look at us. She shook hands a
moment after and, in going away, said she hoped I
would do what I said.
Now I call that friendly, don’t you?
Yes, I liked her today. A little
or much? Don’t know. I liked her and
it seems a new feeling to me. Then, in that case,
all the rest, all that I thought I thought and all
that I felt I felt, all the rest before now, in fact...
O, give it up, old chap! Sleep it off!
April 16. Away! Away!
The spell of arms and voices:
the white arms of roads, their promise of close embraces
and the black arms of tall ships that stand against
the moon, their tale of distant nations. They
are held out to say: We are alone come.
And the voices say with them: We are your kinsmen.
And the air is thick with their company as they call
to me, their kinsman, making ready to go, shaking
the wings of their exultant and terrible youth.
April 26. Mother is putting
my new secondhand clothes in order. She prays
now, she says, that I may learn in my own life and
away from home and friends what the heart is and what
it feels. Amen. So be it. Welcome,
O life, I go to encounter for the millionth time the
reality of experience and to forge in the smithy of
my soul the uncreated conscience of my race.
April 27. Old father, old
artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead.
Dublin,
Trieste, 1914