“Est impossibile?
Certum est.”
Tertullian.
Leithen told me this story one evening
in early September as we sat beside the pony track
which gropes its way from Glenvalin up the Correi
na Sidhe. I had arrived that afternoon from
the south, while he had been taking an off-day from
a week’s stalking, so we had walked up the glen
together after tea to get the news of the forest.
A rifle was out on the Correi na Sidhe
beat, and a thin spire of smoke had risen from the
top of Sgurr Dearg to show that a stag had been killed
at the burnhead. The lumpish hill pony with
its deer-saddle had gone up the Correi in a gillie’s
charge while we followed at leisure, picking our way
among the loose granite rocks and the patches of wet
bogland. The track climbed high on one of the
ridges of Sgurr Dearg, till it hung over a caldron
of green glen with the Alt-na-Sidhe churning in
its linn a thousand feet below. It was a breathless
evening, I remember, with a pale-blue sky just clearing
from the haze of the day. West-wind weather
may make the North, even in September, no bad imitation
of the Tropics, and I sincerely pitied the man who
all these stifling hours had been toiling on the screes
of Sgurr Dearg. By-and-by we sat down on a bank
of heather, and idly watched the trough swimming at
our feet. The clatter of the pony’s hoofs
grew fainter, the drone of bees had gone, even the
midges seemed to have forgotten their calling.
No place on earth can be so deathly still as a deer-forest
early in the season before the stags have begun roaring,
for there are no sheep with their homely noises, and
only the rare croak of a raven breaks the silence.
The hillside was far from sheer-one could have walked
down with a little care-but something in the shape
of the hollow and the remote gleam of white water
gave it an extraordinary depth and space. There
was a shimmer left from the day’s heat, which
invested bracken and rock and scree with a curious
airy unreality. One could almost have believed
that the eye had tricked the mind, that all was mirage,
that five yards from the path the solid earth fell
away into nothingness. I have a bad head, and
instinctively I drew farther back into the heather.
Leithen’s eyes were looking vacantly before
him.
“Did you ever know Hollond?” he asked.
Then he laughed shortly. “I
don’t know why I asked that, but somehow this
place reminded me of Hollond. That glimmering
hollow looks as if it were the beginning of eternity.
It must be eerie to live with the feeling always
on one.”
Leithen seemed disinclined for further
exercise. He lit a pipe and smoked quietly for
a little. “Odd that you didn’t know
Hollond. You must have heard his name.
I thought you amused yourself with metaphysics.”
Then I remembered. There had
been an erratic genius who had written some articles
in Mind on that dreary subject, the mathematical conception
of infinity. Men had praised them to me, but
I confess I never quite understood their argument.
“Wasn’t he some sort of mathematical
professor?” I asked.
“He was, and, in his own way,
a tremendous swell. He wrote a book on Number
which has translations in every European language.
He is dead now, and the Royal Society founded a medal
in his honour. But I wasn’t thinking of
that side of him.”
It was the time and place for a story,
for the pony would not be back for an hour.
So I asked Leithen about the other side of Hollond
which was recalled to him by Correi na Sidhe.
He seemed a little unwilling to speak...
“I wonder if you will understand
it. You ought to, of course, better than me,
for you know something of philosophy. But it
took me a long time to get the hang of it, and I can’t
give you any kind of explanation. He was my
fag at Eton, and when I began to get on at the Bar
I was able to advise him on one or two private matters,
so that he rather fancied my legal ability.
He came to me with his story because he had to tell
someone, and he wouldn’t trust a colleague.
He said he didn’t want a scientist to know,
for scientists were either pledged to their own theories
and wouldn’t understand, or, if they understood,
would get ahead of him in his researches. He
wanted a lawyer, he said, who was accustomed to weighing
evidence. That was good sense, for evidence
must always be judged by the same laws, and I suppose
in the long-run the most abstruse business comes down
to a fairly simple deduction from certain data.
Anyhow, that was the way he used to talk, and I listened
to him, for I liked the man, and had an enormous respect
for his brains. At Eton he sluiced down all the
mathematics they could give him, and he was an astonishing
swell at Cambridge. He was a simple fellow,
too, and talked no more jargon than he could help.
I used to climb with him in the Alps now and then,
and you would never have guessed that he had any thoughts
beyond getting up steep rocks.
“It was at Chamonix, I remember,
that I first got a hint of the matter that was filling
his mind. We had been taking an off-day, and
were sitting in the hotel garden, watching the Aiguilles
getting purple in the twilight. Chamonix always
makes me choke a little-it is so crushed in by those
great snow masses. I said something about it said
I liked the open spaces like the Gornegrat or the
Bel Alp better. He asked me why: if it
was the difference of the air, or merely the wider
horizon? I said it was the sense of not being
crowded, of living in an empty world. He repeated
the word ‘empty’ and laughed.
“‘By “empty”
you mean,’ he said, ’where things don’t
knock up against you?’
I told him No. I mean just empty,
void, nothing but blank aether.
“You don’t knock up against
things here, and the air is as good as you want.
It can’t be the lack of ordinary emptiness you
feel.”
“I agreed that the word needed
explaining. ’I suppose it is mental restlessness,’
I said. ’I like to feel that for a tremendous
distance there is nothing round me. Why, I don’t
know. Some men are built the other way and have
a terror of space.’
“He said that that was better.
’It is a personal fancy, and depends on your
knowing that there is nothing between you and
the top of the Dent Blanche. And you know because
your eyes tell you there is nothing. Even if
you were blind, you might have a sort of sense about
adjacent matter. Blind men often have it.
But in any case, whether got from instinct or sight,
the knowledge is what matters.’
“Hollond was embarking on a
Socratic dialogue in which I could see little point.
I told him so, and he laughed. “’I am
not sure that I am very clear myself. But yes there
is a point. Supposing you knew-not by sight
or by instinct, but by sheer intellectual knowledge,
as I know the truth of a mathematical proposition that
what we call empty space was full, crammed.
Not with lumps of what we call matter like hills and
houses, but with things as real as real
to the mind. Would you still feel crowded?’
“‘No,’ I said, ’I
don’t think so. It is only what we call
matter that signifies. It would be just as well
not to feel crowded by the other thing, for there
would be no escape from it. But what are you
getting at? Do you mean atoms or electric currents
or what?’
“He said he wasn’t thinking
about that sort of thing, and began to talk of another
subject.
“Next night, when we were pigging
it at the Geant cabane, he started again on the
same tack. He asked me how I accounted for the
fact that animals could find their way back over great
tracts of unknown country. I said I supposed
it was the homing instinct.
“‘Rubbish, man,’
he said. ’That’s only another name
for the puzzle, not an explanation. There must
be some reason for it. They must know something
that we cannot understand. Tie a cat in a bag
and take it fifty miles by train and it will make
its way home. That cat has some clue that we
haven’t.’
“I was tired and sleepy, and
told him that I did not care a rush about the psychology
of cats. But he was not to be snubbed, and went
on talking.
“’How if Space is really
full of things we cannot see and as yet do not know?
How if all animals and some savages have a cell in
their brain or a nerve which responds to the invisible
world? How if all Space be full of these landmarks,
not material in our sense, but quite real? A
dog barks at nothing, a wild beast makes an aimless
circuit. Why? Perhaps because Space is
made up of corridors and alleys, ways to travel and
things to shun? For all we know, to a greater
intelligence than ours the top of Mont Blanc may be
as crowded as Piccadilly Circus.’
“But at that point I fell asleep
and left Hollond to repeat his questions to a guide
who knew no English and a snoring porter.
“Six months later, one foggy
January afternoon, Hollond rang me up at the Temple
and proposed to come to see me that night after dinner.
I thought he wanted to talk Alpine shop, but he turned
up in Duke Street about nine with a kit-bag full of
papers. He was an odd fellow to look at a
yellowish face with the skin stretched tight on the
cheek-bones, clean-shaven, a sharp chin which he kept
poking forward, and deep-set, greyish eyes.
He was a hard fellow, too, always in pretty good condition,
which was remarkable considering how he slaved for
nine months out of the twelve. He had a quiet,
slow-spoken manner, but that night I saw that he was
considerably excited.
“He said that he had come to
me because we were old friends. He proposed
to tell me a tremendous secret. ’I must
get another mind to work on it or I’ll go crazy.
I don’t want a scientist. I want a plain
man.’
“Then he fixed me with a look
like a tragic actor’s. ’Do you remember
that talk we had in August at Chamonix about
Space? I daresay you thought I was playing the
fool. So I was in a sense, but I was feeling
my way towards something which has been in my mind
for ten years. Now I have got it, and you must
hear about it. You may take my word that it’s
a pretty startling discovery.’
“I lit a pipe and told him to
go ahead, warning him that I knew about as much science
as the dustman.
“I am bound to say that it took
me a long time to understand what he meant.
He began by saying that everybody thought of Space
as an ’empty homogeneous medium.’
’Never mind at present what the ultimate constituents
of that medium are. We take it as a finished
product, and we think of it as mere extension, something
without any quality at all. That is the view
of civilised man. You will find all the philosophers
taking it for granted. Yes, but every living
thing does not take that view. An animal, for
instance. It feels a kind of quality in Space.
It can find its way over new country, because it perceives
certain landmarks, not necessarily material, but perceptible,
or if you like intelligible. Take an Australian
savage. He has the same power, and, I believe,
for the same reason. He is conscious of intelligible
landmarks.’
“‘You mean what people
call a sense of direction,’ I put in.
“’Yes, but what in Heaven’s
name is a sense of direction? The phrase explains
nothing. However incoherent the mind of the animal
or the savage may be, it is there somewhere, working
on some data. I’ve been all through the
psychological and anthropological side of the business,
and after you eliminate the clues from sight and hearing
and smell and half-conscious memory there remains
a solid lump of the inexplicable.’
“Hollond’s eye had kindled,
and he sat doubled up in his chair, dominating me
with a finger.
“’Here, then is a power
which man is civilising himself out of. Call
it anything you like, but you must admit that it is
a power. Don’t you see that it is a perception
of another kind of reality that we are leaving behind
us? ’, Well, you know the way nature works.
The wheel comes full circle, and what we think we
have lost we regain in a higher form. So for
a long time I have been wondering whether the civilised
mind could not recreate for itself this lost gift,
the gift of seeing the quality of Space. I mean
that I wondered whether the scientific modern brain
could not get to the stage of realising that Space
is not an empty homogeneous medium, but full of intricate
differences, intelligible and real, though not with
our common reality.’
“I found all this very puzzling
and he had to repeat it several times before I got
a glimpse of what he was talking about.
“’I’ve wondered
for a long time he went on ’but now quite suddenly,
I have begun to know.’ He stopped and asked
me abruptly if I knew much about mathematics.
“‘It’s a pity,’
he said,’but the main point is not technical,
though I wish you could appreciate the beauty of some
of my proofs. Then he began to tell me about
his last six months’ work. I should have
mentioned that he was a brilliant physicist besides
other things. All Hollond’s tastes were
on the borderlands of sciences, where mathematics
fades into metaphysics and physics merges in the abstrusest
kind of mathematics. Well, it seems he had been
working for years at the ultimate problem of matter,
and especially of that rarefied matter we call aether
or space. I forget what his view was-atoms or
molecules or electric waves. If he ever told
me I have forgotten, but I’m not certain that
I ever knew. However, the point was that these
ultimate constituents were dynamic and mobile, not
a mere passive medium but a medium in constant movement
and change. He claimed to have discovered by
ordinary inductive experiment that the constituents
of aether possessed certain functions, and moved
in certain figures obedient to certain mathematical
laws. Space, I gathered, was perpetually ‘forming
fours’ in some fancy way.
“Here he left his physics and
became the mathematician. Among his mathematical
discoveries had been certain curves or figures or
something whose behaviour involved a new dimension.
I gathered that this wasn’t the ordinary Fourth
Dimension that people talk of, but that fourth-dimensional
inwardness or involution was part of it. The
explanation lay in the pile of manuscripts he left
with me, but though I tried honestly I couldn’t
get the hang of it. My mathematics stopped with
desperate finality just as he got into his subject.
“His point was that the constituents
of Space moved according to these new mathematical
figures of his. They were always changing, but
the principles of their change were as fixed as the
law of gravitation. Therefore, if you once grasped
these principles you knew the contents of the void.
What do you make of that?”
I said that it seemed to me a reasonable
enough argument, but that it got one very little way
forward. “A man,” I said, “might
know the contents of Space and the laws of their arrangement
and yet be unable to see anything more than his fellows.
It is a purely academic knowledge. His mind
knows it as the result of many deductions, but his
senses perceive nothing.”
Leithen laughed. “Just
what I said to Hollond. He asked the opinion
of my legal mind. I said I could not pronounce
on his argument but that I could point out that he
had established no trait d’union between the
intellect which understood and the senses which perceived.
It was like a blind man with immense knowledge but
no eyes, and therefore no peg to hang his knowledge
on and make it useful. He had not explained
his savage or his cat. ‘Hang it, man,’
I said, ’before you can appreciate the existence
of your Spacial forms you have to go through elaborate
experiments and deductions. You can’t be
doing that every minute. Therefore you don’t
get any nearer to the use of the sense you say
that man once possessed, though you can explain it
a bit.’”
“What did he say?” I asked.
“The funny thing was that he
never seemed to see my difficulty. When I kept
bringing him back to it he shied off with a new wild
theory of perception. He argued that the mind
can live in a world of realities without any sensuous
stimulus to connect them with the world of our ordinary
life. Of course that wasn’t my point.
I supposed that this world of Space was real enough
to him, but I wanted to know how he got there.
He never answered me. He was the typical Cambridge
man, you know dogmatic about uncertainties,
but curiously diffident about the obvious. He
laboured to get me to understand the notion of his
mathematical forms, which I was quite willing to take
on trust from him. Some queer things he said,
too. He took our feeling about Left and Right
as an example of our instinct for the quality of Space.
But when I objected that Left and Right varied with
each object, and only existed in connection with some
definite material thing, he said that that was exactly
what he meant. It was an example of the mobility
of the Spacial forms. Do you see any sense in
that?”
I shook my head. It seemed to me pure craziness.
“And then he tried to show me
what he called the ‘involution of Space,’
by taking two points on a piece of paper. The
points were a foot away when the paper was flat, they
coincided when it was doubled up. He said that
there were no gaps between the figures, for the medium
was continuous, and he took as an illustration the
loops on a cord. You are to think of a cord
always looping and unlooping itself according to certain
mathematical laws. Oh, I tell you, I gave up
trying to follow him. And he was so desperately
in earnest all the time. By his account Space
was a sort of mathematical pandemonium.”
Leithen stopped to refill his pipe,
and I mused upon the ironic fate which had compelled
a mathematical genius to make his sole confidant of
a philistine lawyer, and induced that lawyer to repeat
it confusedly to an ignoramus at twilight on a Scotch
hill. As told by Leithen it was a very halting
tale.
“But there was one thing I could
see very clearly,” Leithen went on, “and
that was Hollond’s own case. This crowded
world of Space was perfectly real to him. How
he had got to it I do not know. Perhaps his
mind, dwelling constantly on the problem, had unsealed
some atrophied cell and restored the old instinct.
Anyhow, he was living his daily life with a foot
in each world.
“He often came to see me, and
after the first hectic discussions he didn’t
talk much. There was no noticeable change in
him a little more abstracted perhaps.
He would walk in the street or come into a room with
a quick look round him, and sometimes for no earthly
reason he would swerve. Did you ever watch a
cat crossing a room? It sidles along by the
furniture and walks over an open space of carpet as
if it were picking its way among obstacles.
Well, Hollond behaved like that, but he had always
been counted a little odd, and nobody noticed it but
me.
“I knew better than to chaff
him, and had stopped argument, so there wasn’t
much to be said. But sometimes he would give
me news about his experiences. The whole thing
was perfectly clear and scientific and above board,
and nothing creepy about it. You know how I hate
the washy supernatural stuff they give us nowadays.
Hollond was well and fit, with an appetite like a
hunter. But as he talked, sometimes well,
you know I haven’t much in the way of nerves
or imagination but I used to get a little
eerie. Used to feel the solid earth dissolving
round me. It was the opposite of vertigo, if
you understand me a sense of airy realities
crowding in on you-crowding the mind, that is, not
the body.
“I gathered from Hollond that
he was always conscious of corridors and halls and
alleys in Space, shifting, but shifting according to
inexorable laws. I never could get quite clear
as to what this consciousness was like. When
I asked he used to look puzzled and worried and helpless.
I made out from him that one landmark involved a
sequence, and once given a bearing from an object you
could keep the direction without a mistake.
He told me he could easily, if he wanted, go in a
dirigible from the top of Mont Blanc to the top of
Snowdon in the thickest fog and without a compass,
if he were given the proper angle to start from.
I confess I didn’t follow that myself.
Material objects had nothing to do with the Spacial
forms, for a table or a bed in our world might be
placed across a corridor of Space. The forms
played their game independent of our kind of reality.
But the worst of it was, that if you kept your mind
too much in one world you were apt to forget about
the other and Hollond was always barking his shins
on stones and chairs and things.
“He told me all this quite simply
and frankly. Remember his mind and no other
part of him lived in his new world. He said it
gave him an odd sense of detachment to sit in a room
among people, and to know that nothing there but himself
had any relation at all to the infinite strange world
of Space that flowed around them. He would listen,
he said, to a great man talking, with one eye on the
cat on the rug, thinking to himself how much more
the cat knew than the man.”
“How long was it before he went mad?”
I asked.
It was a foolish question, and made
Leithen cross. “He never went mad in your
sense. My dear fellow, you’re very much
wrong if you think there was anything pathological
about him then. The man was brilliantly
sane. His mind was as keen is a keen sword.
I couldn’t understand him, but I could judge
of his sanity right enough.”
I asked if it made him happy or miserable.
“At first I think it made him
uncomfortable. He was restless because he knew
too much and too little. The unknown pressed
in on his mind as bad air weighs on the lungs.
Then it lightened and he accepted the new world in
the same sober practical way that he took other things.
I think that the free exercise of his mind in a pure
medium gave him a feeling of extraordinary power and
ease. His eyes used to sparkle when he talked.
And another odd thing he told me. He was a keen
rockclimber, but, curiously enough, he had never a
very good head. Dizzy heights always worried
him, though he managed to keep hold on himself.
But now all that had gone. The sense of the
fulness of Space made him as happy happier
I believe with his legs dangling into eternity,
as sitting before his own study fire.
“I remember saying that it was
all rather like the mediaeval wizards who made their
spells by means of numbers and figures.
“He caught me up at once.
‘Not numbers,’ he said. “Number
has no place in Nature. It is an invention of
the human mind to atone for a bad memory. But
figures are a different matter. All the mysteries
of the world are in them, and the old magicians knew
that at least, if they knew no more.’
“He had only one grievance.
He complained that it was terribly lonely. ‘It
is the Desolation,’ he would quote, ’spoken
of by Daniel the prophet.’ He would spend
hours travelling those eerie shifting corridors of
Space with no hint of another human soul. How
could there be? It was a world of pure reason,
where human personality had no place. What puzzled
me was why he should feel the absence of this.
One wouldn’t you know, in an intricate problem
of geometry or a game of chess. I asked him,
but he didn’t understand the question.
I puzzled over it a good deal, for it seemed to me
that if Hollond felt lonely, there must be more in
this world of his than we imagined. I began to
wonder if there was any truth in fads like psychical
research. Also, I was not so sure that he was
as normal as I had thought: it looked as if
his nerves might be going bad.
“Oddly enough, Hollond was getting
on the same track himself. He had discovered,
so he said, that in sleep everybody now and then lived
in this new world of his. You know how one dreams
of triangular railway platforms with trains running
simultaneously down all three sides and not colliding.
Well, this sort of cantrip was ‘common form,’
as we say at the Bar, in Hollond’s Space, and
he was very curious about the why and wherefore of
Sleep. He began to haunt psychological laboratories,
where they experiment with the charwoman and the odd
man, and he used to go up to Cambridge for séances.
It was a foreign atmosphere to him, and I don’t
think he was very happy in it. He found so many
charlatans that he used to get angry, and declare
he would be better employed at Mother’s Meetings!”
From far up the Glen came the sound
of the pony’s hoofs. The stag had been
loaded up and the gillies were returning. Leithen
looked at his watch. “We’d better
wait and see the beast,” he said.
“... Well, nothing happened
for more than a year. Then one evening in May
he burst into my rooms in high excitement. You
understand quite clearly that there was no suspicion
of horror or fright or anything unpleasant about this
world he had discovered. It was simply a series
of interesting and difficult problems. All this
time Hollond had been rather extra well and cheery.
But when he came in I thought I noticed a different
look in his eyes, something puzzled and diffident and
apprehensive.
“‘There’s a queer
performance going on in the other world,’ he
said. ’It’s unbelievable. I
never dreamed of such a thing. I I
don’t quite know how to put it, and I don’t
know how to explain it, but but I am becoming
aware that there are other beings other
minds moving in Space besides mine.’
“I suppose I ought to have realised
then that things were beginning to go wrong.
But it was very difficult, he was so rational and
anxious to make it all clear. I asked him how
he knew. ’There could, of course, on his
own showing be no change in that world, for the
forms of Space moved and existed under inexorable
laws. He said he found his own mind failing
him at points. There would come over him a sense
of fear intellectual fear and
weakness, a sense of something else, quite alien to
Space, thwarting him. Of course he could only
describe his impressions very lamely, for they were
purely of the mind, and he had no material peg to
hang them on, so that I could realise them. But
the gist of it was that he had been gradually becoming
conscious of what he called ‘Presences’
in his world. They had no effect on Space did
not leave footprints in its corridors, for instance but
they affected his mind. There was some mysterious
contact established between him and them. I
asked him if the affection was unpleasant and he said
’No, not exactly.’ But I could see
a hint of fear in his eyes.
“Think of it. Try to realise
what intellectual fear is. I can’t, but
it is conceivable. To you and me fear implies
pain to ourselves or some other, and such pain is
always in the last resort pain of the flesh.
Consider it carefully and you will see that it is
so. But imagine fear so sublimated and transmuted
as to be the tension of pure spirit. I can’t
realise it, but I think it possible. I don’t
pretend to understand how Hollond got to know about
these Presences. But there was no doubt about
the fact. He was positive, and he wasn’t
in the least mad not in our sense.
In that very month he published his book on Number,
and gave a German professor who attacked it a most
tremendous public trouncing.
“I know what you are going to
say, that the fancy was a weakening of
the mind from within. I admit I should have thought
of that but he looked so confoundedly sane and able
that it seemed ridiculous. He kept asking me
my opinion, as a lawyer, on the facts he offered.
It was the oddest case ever put before me, but I
did my best for him. I dropped all my own views
of sense and nonsense. I told him that, taking
all that he had told me as fact, the Prescences might
be either ordinary minds traversing Space in sleep;
or minds such as his which had independently captured
the sense of Space’s quality; or, finally, the
spirits of just men made perfect, behaving as psychical
researchers think they do. It was a ridiculous
task to set a prosaic man, and I wasn’t quite
serious. But Holland was serious enough.
“He admitted that all three
explanations were conceivable, but he was very doubtful
about the first. The projection of the spirit
into Space during sleep, he thought, was a faint and
feeble thing, and these were powerful Presences.
With the second and the third he was rather impressed.
I suppose I should have seen what was happening and
tried to stop it; at least, looking back that seems
to have been my duty. But it was difficult to
think that anything was wrong with Hollond; indeed
the odd thing is that all this time the idea of madness
never entered my head. I rather backed him up.
Somehow the thing took my fancy, though I thought
it moonshine at the bottom of my heart. I enlarged
on the pioneering before him. ‘Think,’
I told him, ’what may be waiting for you.
You may discover the meaning of Spirit. You
may open up a new world, as rich as the old one, but
imperishable. You may prove to mankind their
immortality and deliver them for ever from the fear
of death. Why, man, you are picking at the lock
of all the world’s mysteries.’
“But Hollond did not cheer up.
He seemed strangely languid and dispirited.
‘That is all true enough,’ he said,’if
you are right, if your alternatives are exhaustive.
But suppose they are something else, something ....
What that ‘something’ might be he had apparently
no idea, and very soon he went away.
“He said another thing before
he left. We asked me if I ever read poetry,
and I said, not often. Nor did he: but
he had picked up a little book somewhere and found
a man who knew about the Presences. I think
his name was Traherne, one of the seventeenth-century
fellows. He quoted a verse which stuck to my
fly-paper memory. It ran something like
’Within the region of the air,
Compassed about with Heavens fair,
Great tracts of lands there may be found,
Where many numerous hosts,
In those far distant coasts,
For other great and glorious ends
Inhabit, my yet unknown friends.’
Hollond was positive he did not mean
angels or anything of the sort. I told him that
Traherne evidently took a cheerful view of them.
He admitted that, but added: ’He had religion,
you see. He believed that everything was for
the best. I am not a man of faith, and can only
take comfort from what I understand. I’m
in the dark, I tell you...’
“Next week I was busy with the
Chilian Arbitration case, and saw nobody for a couple
of months. Then one evening I ran against Hollond
on the Embankment, and thought him looking horribly
ill. He walked back with me to my rooms, and
hardly uttered one word all the way. I gave him
a stiff whisky-and-soda, which he gulped down absent-mindedly.
There was that strained, hunted look in his eyes
that you see in a frightened animal’s.
He was always lean, but now he had fallen away to
skin and bone.
“‘I can’t stay long,’
he told me, ’for I’m off to the Alps to-morrow
and I have a lot to do.’ Before then he
used to plunge readily into his story, but now he
seemed shy about beginning. Indeed I had to ask
him a question.
“‘Things are difficult,’
he said hesitatingly, and rather distressing.
Do you know, Leithen, I think you were wrong about about
what I spoke to you of. You said there must
be one of three explanations. I am beginning
to think that there is a fourth.
“He stopped for a second or
two, then suddenly leaned forward and gripped my knee
so fiercely that I cried out. ’That world
is the Desolation,’ he said in a choking voice,
’and perhaps I am getting near the Abomination
of the Desolation that the old prophet spoke of.
I tell you, man, I am on the edge of a terror, a
terror,’ he almost screamed, ‘that no
mortal can think of and live.’
You can imagine that I was considerably
startled. It was lightning out of a clear sky.
How the devil could one associate horror with mathematics?
I don’t see it yet... At any rate, I You
may be sure I cursed my folly for ever pretending
to take him seriously. The only way would have
been to have laughed him out of it at the start.
And yet I couldn’t, you know it
was too real and reasonable. Anyhow, I tried
a firm tone now, and told him the whole thing was arrant
raving bosh. I bade him be a man and pull himself
together. I made him dine with me, and took
him home, and got him into a better state of mind
before he went to bed. Next morning I saw him
off at Charing Cross, very haggard still, but better.
He promised to write to me pretty often....
The pony, with a great eleven-pointer
lurching athwart its back, was abreast of us, and
from the autumn mist came the sound of soft Highland
voices. Leithen and I got up to go, when we heard
that the rifle had made direct for the Lodge by a
short cut past the Sanctuary. In the wake of
the gillies we descended the Correi road into
a glen all swimming with dim purple shadows.
The pony minced and boggled; the stag’s antlers
stood out sharp on the rise against a patch of sky,
looking like a skeleton tree. Then we dropped
into a covert of birches and emerged on the white
glen highway.
Leithen’s story had bored and
puzzled me at the start, but now it had somehow gripped
my fancy. Space a domain of endless corridors
and Presences moving in them! The world was
not quite the same as an hour ago. It was the
hour, as the French say, “between dog and wolf,”
when the mind is disposed to marvels. I thought
of my stalking on the morrow, and was miserably conscious
that I would miss my stag. Those airy forms
would get in the way. Confound Leithen and his
yarns!
“I want to hear the end of your
story,” I told him, as the lights of the Lodge
showed half a mile distant.
“The end was a tragedy,”
he said slowly. “I don’t much care
to talk about it. But how was I to know?
I couldn’t see the nerve going. You see
I couldn’t believe it was all nonsense.
If I could I might have seen. But I still think
there was something in it up to a point.
Oh, I agree he went mad in the end. It is the
only explanation. Something must have snapped
in that fine brain, and he saw the little bit more
which we call madness. Thank God, you and I are
prosaic fellows...
“I was going out to Chamonix
myself a week later. But before I started I
got a post-card from Hollond, the only word from him.
He had printed my name and address, and on the other
side had scribbled six words ’I know
at last God’s mercy. H.G.H’
The handwriting was like a sick man of ninety.
I knew that things must be pretty bad with my friend.
“I got to Chamonix in time for
his funeral. An ordinary climbing accident you
probably read about it in the papers. The Press
talked about the toll which the Alps took from intellectuals the
usual rot. There was an inquiry, but the facts
were quite simple. The body was only recognised
by the clothes. He had fallen several thousand
feet.
“It seems that he had climbed
for a few days with one of the Kronigs and Dupont,
and they had done some hair-raising things on the
Aiguilles. Dupont told me that they had
found a new route up the Montanvert side of the Charmoz.
He said that Hollond climbed like a ‘diable
fou’ and if you know Dupont’s standard
of madness you will see that the pace must have been
pretty hot. ‘But monsieur was sick,’
he added; ’his eyes were not good. And
I and Franz, we were grieved for him and a little
afraid. We were glad when he left us.’
“He dismissed the guides two
days before his death. The next day he spent
in the hotel, getting his affairs straight. He
left everything in perfect order, but not a line to
a soul, not even to his sister. The following
day he set out alone about three in the morning for
the Grepon. He took the road up the Nantillons
glacier to the Col, and then he must have climbed
the Mummery crack by himself. After that he
left the ordinary route and tried a new traverse across
the Mer de Glace face. Somewhere near the top
he fell, and next day a party going to the Dent du
Requin found him on the rocks thousands of feet below.
“He had slipped in attempting
the most foolhardy course on earth, and there was
a lot of talk about the dangers of guideless climbing.
But I guessed the truth, and I am sure Dupont knew,
though he held his tongue....”
We were now on the gravel of the drive,
and I was feeling better. The thought of dinner
warmed my heart and drove out the eeriness of the
twilight glen. The hour between dog and wolf
was passing. After all, there was a gross and
jolly earth at hand for wise men who had a mind to
comfort.
Leithen, I saw, did not share my mood.
He looked glum and puzzled, as if his tale had aroused
grim memories. He finished it at the Lodge door.
“... For, of course, he
had gone out that day to die. He had seen the
something more, the little bit too much, which plucks
a man from his moorings. He had gone so far
into the land of pure spirit that he must needs go
further and shed the fleshly envelope that cumbered
him. God send that he found rest! I believe
that he chose the steepest cliff in the Alps for a
purpose. He wanted to be unrecognisable.
He was a brave man and a good citizen. I think
he hoped that those who found him might not see the
look in his eyes.”
Stocks and stones.
[The Chief Topaiwari replieth to Sir
Walter Raleigh who upbraideth him for idol worship]
My gods, you say, are idols dumb,
Which men have wrought from wood or clay,
Carven with chisel, shaped with thumb,
A morning’s task, an evening’s
play.
You bid me turn my face on high
Where the blue heaven the sun enthrones,
And serve a viewless deity,
Nor make my bow to stocks and stones.
My lord, I am not skilled in wit
Nor wise in priestcraft, but I know
That fear to man is spur and bit
To jog and curb his fancies’ flow.
He fears and loves, for love and awe
In mortal souls may well unite
To fashion forth the perfect law
Where Duty takes to wife Delight.
But on each man one Fear awaits
And chills his marrow like the dead.
He cannot worship what he hates
Or make a god of naked Dread.
The homeless winds that twist and race,
The heights of cloud that veer and roll,
The unplumb’d Abyss, the drift of
Space
These are the fears that drain the soul.
Ye dauntless ones from out the sea
Fear nought. Perchance your gods
are strong
To rule the air where grim things be,
And quell the deeps with all their throng.
For me, I dread not fire nor steel,
Nor aught that walks in open light,
But fend me from the endless Wheel,
The voids of Space, the gulfs of Night.
Wherefore my brittle gods I make
Of friendly clay and kindly stone,
Wrought with my hands, to serve or break,
From crown to toe my work, my own.
My eyes can see, my nose can smell,
My fingers touch their painted face,
They weave their little homely spell
To warm me from the cold of Space.
My gods are wrought of common stuff
For human joys and mortal tears;
Weakly, perchance, yet staunch enough
To build a barrier ’gainst my fears,
Where, lowly but secure, I wait
And hear without the strange winds blow.
I cannot worship what I hate,
Or serve a god I dare not know.