Parson Small rose. From the tail-pocket
of his long broadcloth coat he pulled a red bandanna
handkerchief and blew his nose. He put the big
blunt forefinger of his right hand on the text of the
open Bible before him.
“Suffer ” he
said. He glanced over his flock the
blacksmith, his wife, and her child, the old miller
and Aunt Betsey, the Mission teacher and some of her
brood, past Pleasant Trouble with his crutch across
his half a lap, and to the heavy-set, middle-aged figure
just slipping to a seat in the rear with a slouched
hat in his hand. The parson’s glance grew
stern and he closed the Great Book. Jeb Mullins,
the newcomer, was moonshiner and undesirable
citizen in many ways. He had meant, said the
parson, to preach straight from the word of God, but
he would take up the matter in hand, and he glared
with doubtful benevolence at Jeb’s moon face,
grayish whiskers, and mild blue eyes. Many turned
to follow his glance, and Jeb moved in his seat and
his eyes began to roll, for all knew that the matter
in hand was Jeb.
Straightway the parson turned his
batteries on the very throne of King Alcohol and made
it totter. Men “disguised by liquer”
were not themselves. Whiskey made the fights
and the feuds. It broke up meetings. It
made men lie around in the woods and neglect their
families. It stole brains and weakened bodies.
It made women unhappy and debauched children.
It turned Holy Christmas into a drunken orgy.
And “right thar in their very midst,”
he thundered, was a satellite of the Devil-King, “who
was a-doin’ all these very things,” and
that limb of Satan must give up his still, come to
the mourner’s bench, and “wrassle with
the Sperit or else be druv from the county and go
down to burnin’ damnation forevermore.”
And that was not all: this man, he had heard,
was “a-detainin’ a female,” an’
the little judge of Happy Valley would soon be hot
on his trail. The parson mentioned no name in
the indictment, but the stern faces of the women,
the threatening looks of the men were too much for
Jeb. He rose and bolted, and the parson halted.
“The wicked flee when no man
pursueth!” he cried, and he raised hands for
the benediction.
“Thar’s been so much talk
about drinkin’,” muttered Aunt Sis Stidham
as she swayed out, “that hit’s made me
plum’ thirsty. I’d like to have a
dram right now.” Pleasant Trouble heard
her and one eye in his solemn face gave her a covert
wink.
The women folks had long clamored
that their men should break up Jeb’s still;
and the men had stood the nagging and remained inactive
through the hanging-together selfishness of the sex,
for with Jeb gone where then would they drink their
drams and play Old Sledge? But now Jeb was “a-detainin’
of a female,” and that was going too far.
For a full week Jeb was seen no more, for three reasons:
he was arranging an important matter with Pleasant
Trouble; he was brooding over the public humiliation
that the parson had visited on him; and he knew that
he might be waited upon any day by a committee of
his fellow citizens and customers headed by a particular
enemy of his. And indeed such a committee, so
headed, was formed, and as chance would have it they
set forth the following Sunday morning just when Jeb
himself set forth to halt the parson on his way to
church. The committee caught sight of Jeb turning
from the roadside into the bushes and the leader motioned
them too into the rhododendron, whispering:
“Wait an’ we’ll
ketch him in some mo’ devilment.”
In the bushes they waited. Soon the parson hove
in view on a slowly pacing nag, with his hands folded
on the pommel of his saddle and deep in meditation.
Jeb stepped out into the road and the hidden men craned
their necks from the bushes with eyes and ears alert.
“Good mornin’, Parson
Small!” The old nag stopped and the parson’s
head snapped up from his revery.
“Good mornin’, Jeb Mullins.”
The parson’s greeting was stern and somewhat
uneasy, for he did not like the look on old Jeb’s
face.
“Parson Small,” said Jeb
unctuously, “las’ Sunday was yo’
day.” The men in the bushes thrust themselves
farther out they could hear every word “an’
this Sunday is mine.”
“Every Sunday is the Lawd’s, Jeb Mullins profane
it not.”
“Well, mebbe He’ll loan
me this un, parson. You lambasted me afore all
Happy Valley last Sunday an’ now I’m a-goin’
to lick you fer it.” The parson’s
eye gleamed faintly and subsided.
“I’m on my way to preach the word of God,
Jeb Mullins.”
“You’ll git thar in time, parson.
Git off yo’ hoss!”
“I’ve got my broadcloth
on, Jeb Mullins, an’ I don’t want to muss
it up wait till I come back.”
“You can take it off, parson,
or brush off the dust atterwards climb
off yo’ hoss.” Again the parson’s
eye gleamed and this time did not subside.
“I reckon you’ll give
me time to say a prayer, Jeb Mullins!”
“Shore you’ll need it afore
I git through with ye.”
With a sigh the parson swung offside
from Jeb, dexterously pulling a jackknife from his
trousers-pocket, opening it, and thrusting it in the
high top of his right boot. Then he kneeled in
the road with uplifted face and eyes closed:
“O Lawd,” he called sonorously,
“thou knowest that I visit my fellow man with
violence only with thy favor and in thy name.
Thou knowest that when I laid Jim Thompson an’
Si Marcum in thar graves it was by thy aid. Thou
knowest how I disembowelled with my trusty knife the
miserable sinner Hank Smith.” Here the
parson drew out his knife and began honing it on the
leg of his boot. “An’ hyeh’s
another who meddles with thy servant and profanes
thy day. I know this hyeh Jeb Mullins is offensive
in thy sight an’ fergive me, O Lawd, but I’m
a-goin’ to cut his gizzard plum’ out, an’
O Lawd ” Here Parson Small opened
one eye and Jeb Mullins did not stand on the order
of his going. As he went swiftly up the hill the
committee sprang from the bushes with haw-haws and
taunting yells. At the top of the hill Jeb turned:
“I was a-goin’ anyhow,”
he shouted, and with his thumb at his nose he wriggled
his fingers at them.
“He’ll never come back now he’ll
be ashamed.”
“Friends,” called the
parson, “the Lawd is with me peace
be unto you.” And the committee said:
“Amen!”
The Japanese say: Be not surprised
if the surprising does not surprise. When Jeb
walked into meeting the following Sunday no citizen
of Happy Valley had the subtlety to note that of them
all Pleasant Trouble alone, sitting far in the rear,
showed no surprise. Pleasant’s face was
solemn, but in his eyes was an expectant smile.
Women and men glared, and the parson stopped his exhortation
to glare, but Jeb had timed his entrance with the
parson’s call for sinners to come to the mourners’
bench. It was the only safe place for him and
there he went and there he sat. The parson still
glared, but he had to go on exhorting he
had to exhort even Jeb. And Jeb responded.
He not only “wrassled with the Sperit”
valiantly but he “came through” that
is, he burst from the gloom of evil and disbelief
into the light of high purpose and the glory of salvation.
He rose to confess and he confessed a great deal;
but, as many knew, not all who does?
He had driven the woman like Hagar into the wilderness;
he would go out right now and the folks of Happy Valley
should see him break up his own still with his own
hands.
“Praise the Lawd,” said
the amazed and convinced parson; “lead the way,
Brother Mullins.” Brother Mullins!
The smile in Pleasant’s eyes almost leaped in
a laugh from his open mouth. The congregation
rose and, led by Jeb and the parson, started down
the road and up a ravine. The parson raised a
hymn “Climbing up Zion’s hill.”
At his shack Jeb caught up an axe which he had left
on purpose apparently at his gate, and on they went
to see Jeb bruise the head of the serpent and prove
his right to enter the fold. With a shout of
glory Jeb plunged ahead on a run, disappeared down
a thickened bank, and, as they pushed their way, singing,
through the bushes, they could hear him below crashing
right and left with his axe, and when they got to
him it was nearly all over. Many wondered how
he could create such havoc in so short a time, but
the boiler was gashed with holes, the worms chopped
into bits, and the mash-tub was in splinters.
Happy Valley dispersed to dinner.
Lum Chapman took the parson and his new-born father-in-law
home with him, his wife following with her apron at
her eyes, wiping away grateful tears. At sunset
Pleasant Trouble swung lightly up Wolf Run on his
crutch and called Jeb down to the gate:
“You got a good home now, Jeb.”
“I shore have.” Jeb’s
religious ecstasy had died down but he looked content.
The parson was mounting his nag and
Pleasant opened the gate for him.
“Hit’s sort o’ curious,
parson,” said Jeb, “but when you prayed
that prayer jes’ afore I was about to battle
with ye I begun to see the errer o’ my
ways.”
“The Lawd, Brother Mullins,”
said the parson, dryly but sincerely, “moves
in mysterious ways his wonders to perform.”
The two watched him ride away.
“The new still will be hyeh
next week,” said Pleasant out of one corner
of his mouth. One solemn wink they exchanged and
Pleasant Trouble swung lightly off into the woods.