A TALE OF MATCH-MAKING.
I.-
THE RESOLVE.
“For when two
Join in the same adventure, one perceives
Before the other how they ought to act.”
BRYANT.
Mrs. Upton had made up her mind that
it must be, and that was the beginning of the end.
The charming match-maker had not indulged her passion
for making others happy, willy-nilly, for some time not,
in fact, since she had arranged the match between
Marie Willoughby and Jack Hearst, which, as the world
knows, resulted first in a marriage, and then, as
the good lady had not foreseen, in a South Dakota divorce.
This unfortunate termination to her well-meant efforts
in behalf of the unhappy pair was a severe blow to
Mrs. Upton. She had been for many years the busiest
of match-makers, and seldom had she failed to bring
about desirable results. In the homes of a large
number of happy pairs her name was blessed for all
that she had done, and until this no unhappy marriage
had ever come from her efforts. One or two engagements
of her designing had failed to eventuate, owing to
complications over which she had no control, and with
which she was in no way concerned; but that was merely
one of the risks of the business in which she was
engaged. The most expert artisan sometimes finds
that he has made a failure of some cherished bit of
work, but he does not cease to pursue his vocation
because of that. So it was with Mrs. Upton, and
when some of her plans went askew, and two young persons
whom she had designed for each other chose to take
two other young people into their hearts instead,
she accepted the situation with a merely negative feeling
of regret. But when she realized that it was
she who had brought Marie Willoughby and Jack Hearst
together, and had, beyond all question, made the match
which resulted so unhappily, then was Mrs. Upton’s
regret and sorrow of so positive a nature that she
practically renounced her chief occupation in life.
“I’ll never, never, never,
so long as I live, have anything more to do with bringing
about marriages!” she cried, tearfully, to her
husband, when that worthy gentleman showed her a despatch
in the evening paper to the effect that Mr. and Mrs.
Jack had invoked the Western courts to free them from
a contract which had grown irksome to both. “I
shall not even help the most despairing lover over
a misunderstanding which may result in two broken
hearts. I’m through. The very idea
of Marie Willoughby and Johnny Hearst not being able
to get along together is preposterous. Why, they
were made for each other.”
“I haven’t a doubt of
it,” returned Upton, with whom it was a settled
principle of life always to agree with his better half.
“But sometimes there’s a flaw in the workmanship,
my dear, and while Marie may have been made for Jack,
and Jack for Marie, it is just possible that the materials
were not up to the specifications.”
“Well, it’s a burning
shame, anyhow,” said Mrs. Upton, “and I’ll
never make another match.”
“That’s good,” said
Upton. “I wouldn’t or,
if I did, I’d see to it that it was a safety,
instead of a fusee that burns fiercely for a minute
and then goes out altogether. Stick to vestas.”
“I don’t know what you
mean by vestas, but I’m through just the
same,” retorted Mrs. Upton; and she really was for
five years.
“Vestas are nice quiet
matches that don’t splurge and splutter.
They give satisfaction to everybody. They burn
evenly, and are altogether the swell thing in matches and
their heads don’t fly off either,” Upton
explained.
“Well, I won’t make even
a vesta, you old goose,” said Mrs. Upton, smiling
faintly.
“You’ve made one, and
it’s a beauty,” observed Upton, quietly,
referring of course to their own case.
So, as I have said, Mrs. Upton forswore
her match-making propensities for a period of five
years, and people noting the fact marvelled greatly
at her strength of character in keeping her hands out
of matters in which they had once done such notable
service. And it did indeed require much force
of character in Mrs. Upton to hold herself aloof from
the matrimonial ventures of others; for, although she
was now a woman close upon forty, she had still the
feelings of youth; she was fond of the society of
young people, and had been for a long time the best-beloved
chaperon in the community. It was hard for her
to watch a growing romance and not help it along as
she had done of yore; and many a time did her lips
withhold the words that trembled upon them words
which would have furthered the fortunes of a worthy
suitor to a waiting hand but she had resolved,
and there was the end of it.
It is history, however, that the strongest
characters will at times falter and fall, and so it
was with Mrs. Upton and her resolution finally.
There came a time when the pressure was too strong
to be resisted.
“I can’t help it, Henry,”
she said, as she thought it all over, and saw wherein
her duty lay. “We must bring Molly Meeker
and Walter together. He is just the sort of a
man for her; and if there is one thing he needs more
than another to round out his character, it is a wife
like Molly.”
“Remember your oath, my dear,” replied
Upton.
“But this will be a vesta, Henry,”
smiled Mrs. Upton. “Walter and you are
very much alike, and you said the other night that
Molly reminded you of me sometimes.”
“That’s true,” said
Upton. “She does that’s
what I like about her but, after all, she
isn’t you. A mill-pond might remind you
at times of a great and beautiful lake, but it wouldn’t
be the lake, you know. I grant that Walter and
I are alike as two peas, but I deny that Molly can
hold a candle to you.”
“Oh you!” snapped Mrs.
Upton. “Haven’t you got your eyes
opened to my faults yet?”
“Yessum,” said Upton.
“They’re great, and I couldn’t get
along without ’em, but I wouldn’t stand
them for five minutes if I’d married Molly Meeker
instead of you. You’d better keep out of
this. Stick to your resolution. Let Molly
choose her own husband, and Walter his wife. You
never can tell how things are going to turn out.
Why, I introduced Willie Timpkins to George Barker
at the club one night last winter, feeling that there
were two fellows who were designed by Providence for
the old Damon and Pythias performance, and it wasn’t
ten minutes before they were quarrelling like a couple
of cats, and every time they meet nowadays they have
to be introduced all over again.”
“I don’t wonder at that
at all,” said Mrs. Upton. “Willie
Timpkins is precisely the same kind of a person that
George Barker is, and when they meet each other and
realize that they are exactly alike, and see how sort
of small and mean they really are, it destroys their
self-love.”
“I never saw it in that light
before,” said Upton, reflectively, “but
I imagine you are right. There’s lots in
that. If a man really wrote down on paper his
candid opinion of himself, he’d have a good case
for slander against the publisher who printed it I
guess.”
“I should think you’d
have known better than to bring those two together,
and under the circumstances I don’t wonder they
hate each other,” said Mrs. Upton.
“Sympathy ought to count for
something,” pleaded Upton. “Don’t
you think?”
“Of course,” replied Mrs.
Upton; “but a man wants to sympathize with the
other fellow, not with himself. If you were a
woman you’d understand that a little better.
But to return to Molly and Walter don’t
you think they really were made for each other?”
“No, I don’t,” said
Upton. “I don’t believe that anybody
ever was made for anybody else. On that principle
every baby that is born ought to be labelled:
Fragile. Please forward to Soandso.
This ‘made-for-each-other’ business makes
me tired. It’s predestination all over
again, which is good enough for an express package,
but doesn’t go where souls are involved.
Suppose that through some circumstance over which
he has no control a Michigan man was made for a Russian
girl how the deuce is she to get him?”
“That’s all nonsense,
Henry,” said Mrs. Upton, impatiently. “I
don’t know why,” observed Upton.
“I can quite understand how a Michigan man might
make a first-rate husband for a Russian girl.
Your idea involves the notion of affinity, and if
I know anything about affinities, they have to go
chasing each other through the universe for cycle after
cycle, in the hope of some day meeting and
it’s all beastly nonsense. My affinity
might be Delilah, and Samson’s your beautiful
self; but I’ll tell you, on my own responsibility,
that if I had caught Samson hanging about your father’s
house during my palmy days I’d have thrashed
the life out of him, whether his hair was short or
long, and don’t you forget it, Mrs. Upton.”
Mrs. Upton laughed heartily.
“I’ve no doubt you could have done it,
my dear Henry,” said she. “I’d
have helped you, anyhow. But affinities or not,
we are placed here for a certain purpose ”
“I presume so,” said Upton.
“I haven’t found out what it is, but I’m
satisfied.”
“Yes and so am I.
Now,” continued Mrs. Upton, “I think that
we all ought to help each other along. Whether
I am your affinity or not, or whether you are mine ”
“I am yours for
keeps, too,” said Upton. “I shall
be just as attentive in heaven, where marriage is
not recognized, as I am here, if I hang for it.”
“Well however that
may be, we have this life to live, and we should go
about it in the best way possible. Now I believe
that Walter will be more of a man, will accomplish
more in the end, if he marries Molly than he will
as a bachelor, or if he married Jennie Perkins,
for instance, who is so much of a manly woman that
she has no sympathy with either sex.”
“Right!” said Upton.
“You like Walter, don’t you, and want
him to succeed?”
“I do.”
“You realize that an unmarried
physician hasn’t more than half a chance?”
“Unfortunately yes,” said
Upton. “Though I don’t agree that
a man can cut your leg off more expertly or carry
you through the measles more successfully just because
he has happened to get married. As a matter of
fact, when I have my leg cut off I want it to be done
by a man who hasn’t been kept awake all night
by the squalling of his lately arrived son.”
“Nevertheless,” said Mrs.
Upton, “society decrees that a doctor needs a
wife to round him out. There’s no disputing
that fact and it is perfectly proper.
Bachelors may know all about the science of medicine,
and make a fair showing in surgery, but it isn’t
until a man is married that he becomes the wholly
successful practitioner who inspires confidence.”
“I suppose it’s so,”
said Upton. “No doubt of it. A man
who has suffered always does do better ”
“Henry!” ejaculated Mrs.
Upton, severely. “Remember this: I
didn’t marry you because I thought you were
a cynic. Now Walter as a young physician needs
a wife ”
“I suppose he’s got to
have somebody to confide professional secrets to,”
said Upton.
“That may be the reason for
it,” observed Mrs. Upton; “but whatever
the reason, it is a fact. He needs a wife, and
I propose that he shall have one; and it is very important
that he should get the right one.”
“Are you going to propose to
the girl in his behalf?” queried Henry.
“No; but I think he’s
a man of sense, and I know Molly is. Now I propose
to bring them together, and to throw them at each other’s
heads in such a way that they won’t either of
them guess that I am doing it ”
“Now, my dear,” interrupted
Upton, “don’t! Don’t try any
throwing. You know as well as I do that no woman
can throw straight. If you throw Molly Meeker
at Walter’s head ”
“I may strike his heart.
Precisely!” said Mrs. Upton, triumphantly.
“And that’s all I want. Then we shall
have a beautiful wedding,” she added, with enthusiasm.
“We’ll give a little dinner on the 18th a
nice informal dinner. We’ll invite the
Jacksons and the Peltons and Molly and Walter.
They will meet, fall in love like sensible people,
and there you are.”
“I guess it’s all right,”
said Upton, “though to fall in love sensibly
isn’t possible, my dear. What people who
get married ought to do is to fall unreasonably, madly
in love ”
But Mrs. Upton did not listen.
She was already at her escritoire, writing the invitations
for the little dinner.
II.-
A SUCCESSFUL CASE.
“The pleasantest angling is to see
the fish
... greedily devour the treacherous bait.”
Much Ado about Nothing.
The invitations to Mrs. Upton’s
little dinner were speedily despatched by the strategic
maker of matches, and, to her great delight, were one
and all accepted with commendable promptness, as dinner
invitations are apt to be. The night came, and
with it came also the unsuspecting young doctor and
the equally unsuspicious Miss Meeker. Everything
was charming. The Jacksons were pleased with
the Peltons, and the Peltons were pleased with the
Jacksons, and, best of all, Walter was pleased with
Miss Meeker, while she was not wholly oblivious to
his existence. She even quoted something he happened
to say at the table, after the ladies had retired,
leaving the men to their cigars, and had added that
“that was the way she liked to hear a
man talk” all of which was very encouraging
to the well-disposed spider who was weaving the web
for these two particular flies. As for Bliss Walter
Bliss, M.D. he was very much impressed;
so much so, indeed, that as the men left their cigars
to return to the ladies he managed to whisper into
Upton’s ear,
“Rather bright girl that, Henry.”
“Very,” said Upton.
“Sensible, too. One of those bachelor girls
who’ve got too much sense to think much about
men. Pity, rather, in a way, too. She’d
make a good wife, but, Lord save us! it would require
an Alexander or a Napoleon to make love to her.”
“Oh, I don’t know,”
said Bliss, confidently. “If the right man
came along ”
“Of course; but there aren’t
many right men,” said Upton. “I’ve
no doubt there’s somebody equal to the occasion
somewhere, but with the population of the world at
the present figures there’s a billion chances
to one she’ll never meet him. What do you
think of the financial situation, Walter? Pretty
bad, eh?”
Thus did the astute Mr. Upton play
the cards dealt out to him by his fairer half in this
little game of hearts of her devising, and it is a
certain fact that he played them well, for the interjection
of a more or less political phase into their discussion
rather whetted than otherwise the desire of Dr. Bliss
to talk about Miss Meeker.
“Oh, hang the financial situation!
Where does she live, Henry?” was Bliss’s
answer, from which Upton deduced that all was going
well.
That his deductions were correct was
speedily shown, for it was not many days before Mrs.
Upton, with a radiant face, handed Upton a note from
Walter asking her if she would not act as chaperon
for a little sail on the Sound upon his sloop.
He thought a small party of four, consisting of herself
and Henry, Miss Meeker and himself, could have a jolly
afternoon and evening of it, dining on board in true
picnic fashion, and returning to earth in the moonlight.
“How do you like that, my lord?”
she inquired, her eyes beaming with delight.
“Dreadful!” said Henry.
“Got to the moonlight stage already poor
Bliss!”
“Poor Bliss indeed,” retorted
Mrs. Upton. “Blissful Bliss, you ought to
call him. Shall we go?”
“Shall we go?” echoed
Upton. “If I fell off the middle of Brooklyn
Bridge, would I land in the water?”
“I don’t know,”
laughed Mrs. Upton. “You might drop into
the smoke-stack of a ferry-boat.”
“Of course we’ll go,”
said Upton. “I’d go yachting with
my worst enemy.”
“Very well. I’ll
accept,” said Mrs. Upton, and she did. The
sail was a great success, and everything went exactly
as the skilful match-maker had wished. Bliss
looked well in his yachting suit. The appointments
of the yacht were perfect. The afternoon was
fine, the supper entrancing, and the moonlight irresistible.
Miss Meeker was duly impressed, and as for the doctor,
as Upton put it, he was “going down for the third
time.”
“If you aren’t serious
in this match, my dear, throw him a rope,” he
pleaded, in his friend’s behalf.
“He wouldn’t avail himself
of it if I did,” said Mrs. Upton. “He
wants to drown and I fancy Molly wants
him to, too, because I can’t get her to mention
his name any more.”
“Is that a sign?” asked Upton.
“Indeed yes; if she talked about
him all the time I should be afraid she wasn’t
quite as deeply in love as I want her to be. She’s
only a woman, you know, Henry. If she were a
man, it would be different.”
The indications were verified by the
results. August came, and Mrs. Upton invited
Miss Meeker to spend the month at the Uptons’
summer cottage at Skirton, and Bliss was asked up
for “a day or two” while she was there.
“Isn’t it a little dangerous,
my dear?” Upton asked, when his wife asked him
to extend the hospitality of the cottage to Bliss.
“I should think twice before asking Walter to
come.”
“How absurd you are!”
retorted the match-maker. “What earthly
objection can there be?”
“No objection at all,”
returned Upton, “but it may destroy all your
good work. It will be a terrible test for Walter,
I am afraid breakfast, for instance, is
a fearful ordeal for most men. They are so apt
to be at their very worst at breakfast, and it might
happen that Walter could not stand the strain upon
him through a series of them. Then Molly may not
look well in the mornings. How is that? Is
she like you always at her best?”
Mrs. Upton replied with a smile.
It was evident that she did not consider the danger
very great.
“They might as well get used
to seeing each other at breakfast,” she said.
“If they find they don’t admire each other
at that time, it is just as well they should know
it in advance.”
Hence it was, as I have said, that
Bliss was invited to Skirton for a day or two.
And the day or two, in the most natural way in the
world, lengthened out into a week or two. There
were walks and talks; there were drives and long horseback
rides along shaded mountain roads, and when it rained
there were mornings in the music-room together.
Bliss was good-natured at breakfast, and Molly developed
a capacity for appearing to advantage at that trying
meal that aroused Upton’s highest regard; and
finally well, finally Miss Molly Meeker
whispered something into Mrs. Upton’s ear, at
which the latter was so overjoyed that she nearly
hugged her young friend to death.
“Here, my dear, look out,”
remonstrated Upton, who happened to be present.
“Don’t take it all. Perhaps she wants
to live long enough to whisper something to me.”
“I do,” said Molly, and
then she announced her engagement to Walter Bliss;
and she did it so sweetly that Upton had all he could
do to keep from manifesting his approval after the
fashion adopted by his wife.
“I wish I was a literary man,”
said Upton to his wife the next day, when they were
talking over the situation. “If I knew how
to write I’d make a fortune, I believe, just
following up the little romances that you plan.”
“Oh, nonsense, Henry,”
replied Mrs. Upton. “I don’t plan
any romances I select certain people for
each other and bring them together, that is all.”
“And push ’em along prod
’em slightly when they don’t seem to get
started, eh?” insinuated Upton. “Well,
yes sometimes.”
“And what else does a novelist
do? He picks out two people, brings them together,
and pushes them along through as many chapters as he
needs for his book,” said Henry. “That’s
all. Now if I could follow your couples I’d
have a tremendous advantage in basing my studies on
living models instead of having to imagine my realism.
I repeat I wish I could write. This little romance
of Mollie and Walter that has just ended ”
“Just what?” asked Mrs. Upton.
“Just ended,” repeated Upton. “What’s
the matter with that?”
“You mean just begun,”
said Mrs. Upton, with a sigh. “The hardest
work a match-maker has is in conducting the campaign
after the nominations are made. When two people
love each other madly, they are apt to do a great
deal of quarrelling over absolutely nothing, and I’m
not at all sure that an engagement means marriage
until the ceremony has taken place.”
“And even then,” suggested Henry, “there
are the divorce courts, eh?”
“We won’t refer to them,”
said Mrs. Upton, severely; “they are relics
of barbarism. But as for the ending of my romance,
my real work now begins. I must watch those two
young people carefully and see that their little quarrels
are smoothed over, their irritations allayed, and that
every possible difference between them is adjusted.”
“But you and I didn’t quarrel when we
were engaged,” persisted Upton.
“No, we didn’t, Henry,”
replied Mrs. Upton. “But that was only because
it takes two to make a quarrel, and I loved you so
much that I was really blind to all your possibilities
as an irritant.”
“Oh!” said Henry, reflectively.
III.-
A SET-BACK.
“All is confounded, all!
Reproach and everlasting shame
Sits mocking in our plumes.”
Henry V.
Time demonstrated with great effectiveness
the unhappy fact that Mrs. Upton knew whereof she
spoke when she likened an engagement to a political
campaign, in that the real battle begins after the
nominations are made. Walter Bliss had decided
views as to life, and Miss Meeker was hardly less
settled in her convictions. Long before she had
met Bliss, in default of a real she had builded up
in her mind an ideal man, which at first, second,
and even third sight Walter had seemed to her to represent.
But unfortunately there is a fourth sight, and the
lover or the fiancee who can get beyond this
is safe comparatively safe, that is, for
everything in this world has its merits or its demerits,
comparatively speaking, and the comparison is more
often than not made from the point of view of what
ought to be rather than of what really is. Mrs.
Upton was a realist that is, she thought
she was; and so was Miss Meeker. Everybody looks
at life from his or her own point of view, and there
must always be, consequently, two points of view, for
there will always be a male way and a female way of
looking at things. Walter was in love with his
profession. Molly was in love with him as an
abstract thing. She knew nothing of him as a Washington
fighting measles; she was not aware whether he could
combat tonsillitis as successfully as Napoleon fought
the Austrians or not, and it may be added that she
didn’t care. He was merely a man in her
estimation; a thing in the abstract, and a most charming
thing on the whole. He, on the other hand, looked
upon her not as a woman, but as a soul, and a purified
soul at that: an angel, indeed, without the incumbrance
of wings, was she, and with a rather more comprehensive
knowledge of dress than is attributed to most of angels.
But two people cannot go on forming an ideal of each
other continuously without at some time reaching a
point of divergence, and Walter and Molly reached that
point within ten weeks. It happened that while
calling upon her one evening Walter received a professional
summons which he admitted was all nonsense why
should people call in doctors when it is “all
nonsense”?
The call came while Walter was turning
over the leaves at the piano as Molly played.
“What is this?” he said,
as he opened the note that was addressed to him.
“Humph! Mrs. Hubbard’s boy is sick ”
“Must you go?” Molly asked.
“I suppose so,” said Walter.
“I saw him this afternoon, and there is not
the slightest thing the matter with him, but I must
go.”
“Why?” asked Molly.
“Are you the kind of doctor they call in when
there’s nothing the matter?”
She did not mean to be sarcastic,
but she seemed to be, and Walter, of course, like
a properly sensitive soul, was hurt.
“I must go,” he said, positively, ignoring
the thrust.
“But you say there is nothing the matter with
the boy,” suggested Molly.
“I’m going just the same,” said
Walter, and he went.
Molly played on at the piano until
she heard the front door slam, and then she rose up
and went to the window. Walter had gone and was
out of sight. Then, sad to say, she became philosophical.
It doesn’t really pay for girls to become philosophical,
but Molly did not know that, and she began a course
of reasoning.
“He knows he isn’t needed,
but he goes,” she said to herself, as she gazed
dejectedly out of the window at the gaslamps on the
other side of the street. “And he will
of course charge the Hubbards for his services, admitting,
however, that his services are nothing. That is
not conscientious it is not professional.
He is not practising for the love of his profession,
but for the love of money. I am disappointed in
him and we were having such a pleasant time,
too!”
So she ran on as she sat there in
the window-seat looking out upon the dreary street;
and you may be sure that the commingling of her ideals
and her disappointments and her sense of loneliness
did not help Walter’s case in the least, and
that when they met the next time her manner towards
him was what some persons term “sniffy,”
which was a manner Walter could not and would not
abide. Hence a marked coolness arose between
the two, which by degrees became so intensified that
at about the time when Mrs. Upton was expected to
be called in to assist at a wedding, she was stunned
by the information that “all was over between
them.” “Just think of that, Henry,”
the good match-maker cried, wrathfully. “All
is over between them, and Molly pretends she is glad
of it.”
“Made for each other too!”
ejaculated Upton, with a mock air of sorrow.
“What was the matter?”
“I can’t make out exactly,”
observed Mrs. Upton. “Molly told me all
about it, and it struck me as a merely silly lovers’
quarrel, but she won’t hear of a reconciliation.
She says she finds she was mistaken in him. I
wish you’d find out Walter’s version of
it.”
“I respectfully refuse, my dear
Mrs. Upton,” returned Henry. “I’m
not a partner in your enterprise, and if you get a
misfit couple returned on your hands it is your lookout,
not mine. Pity, isn’t it, that you can’t
manage matters like a tailor? Suit of clothes
is made for me, I try it on, don’t like it,
send it back and have it changed to fit. If you
could make a few alterations now in Molly ”
“Henry, you are flippant,”
asserted Mrs. Upton. “There’s nothing
the matter with Molly not the least little
thing; and Walter ought to be ashamed of himself to
give her up, and I’m going to see that he doesn’t.
I believe a law ought to be made, anyhow, requiring
engaged persons who want to break off to go into court
and show cause why they shouldn’t be enjoined
from so doing.”
“A sort of antenuptial divorce
law, eh?” suggested Upton. “That’s
not a bad idea; you ought to write to the papers and
suggest it using your maiden name, of course,
not mine.”
“If you would only find out
from Walter what he’s mad at, and tell him he’s
an idiot and a heartless thing, maybe we could smooth
it out, because I know that ’way down in her
soul Molly loves him.”
“Very well, I’ll do it,”
said Upton, good-naturedly; “but mind you it’s
only to oblige you, and if Bliss throws me out of the
club window for meddling in his affairs, it will be
your fault.”
The doctor did not quite throw Upton
out of the window that afternoon when the subject
came up, but he did the next thing to it. He turned
upon him, and with much gravity remarked: “Upton,
I’ll talk politics, finance, medicine, surgery,
literature, or neck-ties with you, but under no circumstances
will I talk about woman with anybody. I prefer
a topic concerning which it is possible occasionally
to make an intelligent surmise at least. Woman
is as comprehensible to a finite mind as chaos.
Who’s your tailor?”
“You ought to have seen us when
he said that,” observed Upton to his wife, as
he told her about the interview at dinner that evening.
“He was as solemn as an Alp, and apparently
as immovable as the Sphinx; and as for me, I simply
withered on my stalk and crumbled away into dust.
Wherefore, my love, I am through; and hereafter if
you are going to make matches for my friends and need
outside help, get a hired man to help you. I’m
did. If I were you I’d let ’em go
their own way, and if their lives are spoiled, why,
your conscience is clear either way.”
But Mrs. Upton had no sympathy with
any such view as that. She had been so near to
victory that she was not going to surrender now without
one more charge. She tried a little sounding
of Bliss herself, and finally asked him point-blank
if he would take dinner with herself and Upton and
Molly and make it up, and he declined absolutely; and
it was just as well, for when Molly heard of it she
asserted that she had no doubt it would have been
a pleasant dinner, but that nothing could have induced
her to go. She never wished to see Dr. Bliss again not
even professionally. Mrs. Upton was gradually
becoming utterly discouraged. The only hopeful
feature of the situation was that there were no “alternates”
involved. Bliss was done forever with woman; Miss
Meeker had never cared for any man but Walter.
Time passed, and the lovers were adamant in their
determination never to see each other again. Repeated
efforts to bring them together failed, until Mrs. Upton
was in despair. It is always darkest, however,
just before dawn, and it finally happened that just
as hopelessness was beginning to take hold of Mrs.
Upton’s heart her great device came to her.
IV.-
THE DEVICE.
“Music arose with its voluptuous
swell,
And all went merry as a marriage bell.”
Childe Harold.
“Henry,” said Mrs. Upton,
one cold January morning, a great light of possibilities
dawning upon her troubled soul, “don’t
you want to take me to the opera next Saturday?
Calve is to sing in ‘Cavalleria,’
and I am very anxious to hear her again.”
“I am sorry, but I can’t,”
Upton answered. “I have an engagement with
Bliss at the club on Saturday. We’re going
to take lunch and finish up our billiard tournament.
I’ve got a lead of forty points.”
“Oh! Well, then, get me
two seats, and I’ll take Molly,” said the
astute match-maker. “And never mind about
their being aisle seats. I prefer them in the
middle of the row, so that everybody won’t be
climbing over us when they go out and in.”
“All right; I will,” said
Henry, and the seats were duly procured.
Saturday came, and Upton went to the
club, according to his appointment with Walter; but
Bliss was not there, nor had he sent any message of
explanation. Upton waited until three o’clock,
and still the doctor came not; and finally he left
the club and sauntered up the Avenue to his house,
calling down the while imprecations upon the absent
Walter.
“Hang these doctors!”
he said, viciously. “They seem to think
professional engagements are the only ones worth keeping.
Off in his game, I fancy. That’s the milk
in the cocoanut.”
Five minutes later he entered his
library, and was astonished to see Mrs. Upton there
reading.
“Why, hullo! You here?”
he said. “I thought you were at the opera.”
“No, I didn’t go,” Mrs. Upton replied,
with a smile.
“There seems to be something
in the air that prevents people from keeping their
engagements to-day. Bliss didn’t turn up,”
said Henry. “What did you do with the tickets?”
“I sent Molly hers by messenger,
and told her I’d join her at the opera-house,”
said Mrs. Upton, her face beaming. “Did
you say Walter didn’t go to the club?”
she added, anxiously.
“Yes. He’s a great
fellow, he is! Got no more idea about sticking
to an engagement than a cat,” said Upton.
“Afraid of my forty points, I imagine.”
“Possibly; but maybe this will
account for it,” said Mrs. Upton, with a sigh
of relief, which hardly seemed necessary under the
circumstances, handing her husband a note.
“What’s this?” asked
Upton, scanning the address upon the envelope.
“A note from Walter,” Mrs.
Upton replied. “Read it.”
And Upton read as follows:
“SATURDAY MORNING, January
, 189-.
“MY DEAR MRS. UPTON, I
am sorry to hear that Henry is called away, but
there are compensations. If I cannot take luncheon
with him, it will give me the greatest pleasure
to listen to Calve in your company. I may be
a trifle late, but I shall most certainly avail
myself of your kind thought of me.
“Yours faithfully,
“WALTER BLISS.”
“What the deuce is this?”
asked Upton. “I called away? Who said
I was called away?”
“I did,” said Mrs. Upton,
pursing her lips to keep from indulging in a smile.
“As soon as you left this morning I wrote Walter
a note, telling him that you had been hurriedly called
to Philadelphia on business, and that you’d
asked me to let him know, not having time to do it
yourself. And I closed by saying that we had
two seats for ‘Cavalleria,’ and that,
as my expected guest had disappointed me, I hoped he
might come in if he felt like it during the afternoon
and hear Calve. That’s his answer.
I enclosed him the ticket.”
“So that ” said Upton, beginning
to comprehend.
“So that Molly and Walter are
at the opera together. Hemmed in on both sides,
so that they can’t escape, with the Intermezzo
before them!” said Mrs. Upton, with an air of
triumph which was beautiful to look upon.
“Well, you are a genius!”
cried Upton, finding his wife’s enthusiasm contagious.
“I’m almost afraid of you!”
“And you don’t think I
did wrong to fib?” asked Mrs. Upton.
“Oh, as for that,” said
Upton, “all geniuses lie! An abnormal development
in one direction always indicates an abnormal lack
of development in another. Your bump of ingenuity
has for the moment absorbed your bump of veracity;
but I say, my dear, I wonder if they’ll speak?”
“Speak?” echoed Mrs. Upton.
“Speak? Why, of course they will! Everybody
talks at the opera,” she added, joyously.
An hour later the door-bell rang,
and the maid announced Miss Meeker and Dr. Bliss.
They entered radiant, and not in the least embarrassed.
“Why, how do you do?”
said Upton, as calmly as though nothing had happened.
“Didn’t see you at the club,” he
added, with a sly wink at his wife.
“Thought you were out of town,”
said Bliss; and then he turned and glanced inquiringly
at the lovely deceiver. But Mrs. Upton said nothing.
She was otherwise engaged; for Molly, upon entering
the room, had walked directly to her side, and throwing
her arms about her neck, kissed her several times
most affectionately.
“You dear old thing!” she whispered.
“Mrs. Upton I’m
very much obliged to you for a very pleasant afternoon,”
stammered Bliss, recovering from his surprise, the
true inwardness of the situation dawning upon him,
“as well as for a good many pleasant
afternoons to come. I ah I
didn’t see ah Molly until
I got seated.”
“No,” said Molly; “and
if he could have gotten away without disturbing a
lot of people, I think he’d have gone when he
realized where he was. And he wouldn’t
speak until the Intermezzo was half through.”
“Well, I tried hard not to even
then,” said Walter; “but somehow or other,
when the Intermezzo got going, I couldn’t help
it, and well, it’s to be next month.”
And so it was. The wedding took
place six weeks later; and all through the service
the organist played the Intermezzo in subdued tones,
which some people thought rather peculiar but
then they were not aware of all the circumstances.