He goes out to visit Mrs.
Bolster.
Shorty sauntered thoughtfully
back to the tent, and on the way decided to tell Si
the whole occurrence, not even omitting the deceit
practiced.
He had to admit to himself that he
was unaccountably shaken up by the affair.
Si was so deeply interested in the
revelations that he forgot to blame Shorty’s
double-dealing.
“Never had my nerve so strained
before,” Shorty frankly admitted. “At
their best, women are curiouser than transmogrified
hullaloos, and when a real cute one sets out to hornswoggle
a man he might as well lay down and give right up,
for he hain’t no earthly show. She gits
away with him every time, and one to spare. That
there woman’s got the devil in her bigger’n
a sheep, and she come nigher makin’ putty o’
your Uncle Ephraim than I ever dreamed of before.
It makes me shivery to think about it.”
“I don’t care if she’s
more devils in her than the Gadarene swine, she must
be stopped at once,” said Si, his patriotic zeal
flaming up. “She’s doin’ more
mischief than a whole regiment o’ rebels, and
must be busted immediately. We’ve got to
stop her.”
“But just how are we goin’
to stop her?” Shorty asked. There was a
weak unreadiness in Shorty’s tones that made
Si look at him in surprise. Never before, in
any emergency, had there been the slightest shade of
such a thing in his bold, self-reliant partner’s
voice.
“I’d rather tackle any
two men there are in the Southern Confederacy than
that woman,” said Shorty. “I believe
she put a spell on me.”
“Le’s go up and talk to
Capt. McGillicuddy about it,” said Si.
Ordinarily, this was the last thing that either of
them would have thought of doing. Their usual
disposition was to go ahead and settle the problem
before them in their own way, and report about it afterward.
But Shorty was clearly demoralized.
Capt. McGillicuddy listened very gravely to their
story.
“Evidently that old hen has
a nest of bad, dangerous men, which has to be broken
up,” he said. “We can get the whole
raft if we go about it in the right way, but we’ve
got to be mighty smart in dealing with them, or they’ll
fly the coop, and leave the laugh on us. You say
she’s coming back to-morrow?”
“Yes,” said Shorty, with a perceptible
shiver.
“Well, I want you to fall right
in with all her plans-both of you.
Pretend to be anxious to desert, or anything else that
she may propose. Go back home with her.
I shall watch you carefully, but without seeming to,
and follow you with a squad big enough to take care
of anything that may be out there. Go back to
your tent now, and think it all over, and arrange
some signal to let me know when you want me to jump
the outfit.”
The boys went back to their tent,
and spent an hour in anxious consideration of their
plans. Si saw the opportunity to render a great
service, and was eager to perform it, but he firmly
refused to tell any lies to the woman or those around
her. He would not say that he was tired of the
service and wanted to desert; he would not pretend
liking for the Southern Confederacy or the rebels,
nor hatred to his own people. He would do nothing
but go along, share all the dangers with Shorty, and
be ready at the moment to co-operate in breaking up
the gang.
“Some folks’s so durned
straight that they lean over backwards,” said
Shorty impatiently. “What in thunder does
it amount to what you tell these onery gallinippers?
They’ll lie to you as fast as a hoss kin trot.
There’s no devilment they won’t do, and
there kin be nothin’ wrong in anything you kin
do and say to them.”
“Everybody settles some things
for himself,” said the unchangeable Si.
“I believe them folks are as bad as they kin
be made. I believe every one o’ ’em
ought to be killed, and if it wuz orders to kill ’em
I’d kill without turnin’ a hair.
But I jest simply won’t lie to nobody, I don’t
care who he is. I’ll stand by you until
the last drop; you kin tell ’em what you please,
but I won’t tell ’em nothin’, except
that they’re a pizen gang, and ought t’ve
bin roastin’ in brimstone long ago.”
“But,” expostulated Shorty,
“if you only go along with me you’re actin’
a lie. If you go out o’ camp with mo you’ll
pretend to bo desertin’ and j’inin’
in with ’em. Seems to me that’s
jest as bad as tellin’ a lie straight out.”
“Well,” said the immovable
Si, “I draw the line there. I’ll go
along with you, and they kin think what they like.
But if I say anything to ’em, they’ll
git it mighty straight.”
“Well, I don’t know but,
after all, we kin better arrange it that way,”
said Shorty, after he had thought it over in silence
for some time. “I’m sure that if
you’d talk you’d give us dead away.
That clumsy basswood tongue o’ your’n
hain’t any suppleness, and you’d be sure
to blurt out something that’d jest ruin us.
An idée occurs to me. You jest go along,
look sour and say nothin’. I’ll tell
’em you ketched cold the other night and lost
your speech. It’ll give me a turn o’
extra dooty talkin’ for two, but I guess I kin
do it.”
“All right,” agreed Si. “Let
it go that way.”
“Now, look here, Si,”
said Shorty, in a low, mysterious tone, “I’m
goin’ to tell you somethin’ that I hadn’t
intended to. I’m scared to death lest that
old hag’ll git the drop on me some way and marry
me right out of hand. I tell you, she jest frightens
the life out o’ me. That worries me more’n
all the rest put together. I expect I ought t
‘v’ told you so at the very first.”
“Nonsense,” said Si contemptuously.
“The idée o’ you’re being afeared
o’ such a thing.”
“It’s all very well for
you to snort and laugh, Si Klegg,” persisted
Shorty. “You don’t know her.
I sneered at her, too, at first, but when I was left
alone with her she seemed to mesmerize me. I found
myself talkin’ about marryin’ her before
I knowed it, and the next thing I was on the
p’int o’ actually marryin’ her.
I believe that if she’d got me to walk a half-mile
further with her she’d a run me up agin a Justice
o’ the Peace and married me in spite of all that
I could do. I’d much ruther have my head
blowed off than married to that old catamount.
“Bah, you can’t marry
folks unless both are willin’,” insisted
Si. “A man can’t have a marriage
rung in on him willy-nilly.”
“There’s just where you’re
shootin’ off your mouth without any sense.
You don’t know what you’re talkin’
about. Men are lassoed every day and married
to women that they’d run away from like a dog
from a porcupine, if they could. You jest look
around among the married folks you know, and see how
many there are that wouldn’t have married one
another if they’d bin in their senses.”
“Well, I don’t think o’
many,” said Si, whose remembrances were that
the people in Posey County seemed generally well-mated.
“Well, there mayn’t be
many, but there’s some, and I don’t propose
to be one of ’em. There’s some spell
or witchcraft about it. I’ve read in books
about things that gave a woman power to marry any man
she wanted to, and he couldn’t help himself.
That woman’s got something o’ that kind,
and she’s set her eye on me. I’m goin’
to meet her, and I want to help break up her gang,
but I’d a great deal rather tackle old Bragg
and his entire army. I want you to stay right
by me every minnit, and keep your eye on me when she’s
near me."
“All right,” said Si sleepily, as he crawled
into bed.
The next morning, as they were discussing
the question of signals, they happened to pass the
Sutler’s, and Si caught a glimpse of packages
of firecrackers, which the regimental purveyor had,
for some inscrutable reason, thought he might sell.
An idea occurred to Si, and he bought a couple of
packages, and stowed them away in his blouse pocket
and told the Captain that their firing would be the
signal, unless a musket-shot should come first.
It was yet early in the forenoon as
they walked on the less-frequented side of the camp.
Shorty gave a start, and gasped:
“Jewhilikins, there she is already.”
Si looked, and saw Mrs. Bolster striding
toward them. Shorty hung back instinctively for
an instant, and then braced up and bade her good morning.
She grunted an acknowledgment, and
said rather imperiously:
“Y’re a-gwine, air yo’?”
“Certainly,” answered Shorty.
“And yo’?” she inquired, looking
at Si.
“He’s a-goin’, too,”
answered Shorty. “Mustn’t expect him
to talk. He’s short on tongue this mornin’.
Ketched a bad cold night before last. Settled
on his word-mill. Unjinted his clapper. Can’t
speak a word. Doctor says it will last several
days. Not a great affliction. Couldn’t
‘ve lost anything o’ less account.”
“Must’ve bin an orful
cold,” said she, taking her pipe from her mouth
and eyeing Si suspiciously.
“Never knowed a cold to shut
off any one’s gab afore. Seems t’
me that hit makes people talk more. But these
Yankees air different. Whar air yer things?
Did yo’ bring plenty o’ coffee?’
“We’ve got ’em hid
down here in the brush,” said Shorty. “We’ll
git ’em when we’re ready to start.”
“We’re ready now,” she answered.
“Come along.”
“But we hain’t no passes,”
objected Shorty. “We must go to the Captain
and git passes.”
“Yo’ won’t need
no passes,” she said impatiently. “Foller
me.”
Shorty had expected to make the pretext
about the passes serve for informing Capt. McGillicuddy
of the presence of the woman in the camp. He
looked quickly around and saw the Captain sauntering
carelessly at a little distance, so that any notification
was unnecessary. He turned and followed Mrs.
Bolster’s long strides, with Si bringing up the
rear.
They went to the clump of brush where
they had hidden their haversacks and guns. Mrs.
Bolster eagerly examined the precious package of coffee.
“I’ll take keer o’
this myself,” she said, stowing it away about
her lanky person. “I can’t afford
to take no resks as to hit.”
Si and Shorty had thought themselves
very familiar with the campground, but they were astonished
to find themselves led outside the line without passing
under the eye of a single guard. Si looked at
Shorty in amazement, and Shorty remarked:
“Well, I’ll be durned.”
The woman noticed and understood.
“Yo’ Yanks," she said scornfully,
“think yourselves moughty smart with all your
book-larnin’, and yo’uns put on heaps
o’ airs over po’ folks what hain’t
no eddication; but what you don’t know about
Tennessee woods would make a bigger book than ever
was printed.”
“I believe you,” said
Shorty fervently. His superstition in regard to
her was rapidly augmenting to that point where he believed
her capable of anything. He was alarmed a’bout
Capt. McGillicuddy’s being able to follow
their mysterious movements. But they soon came
to the road, and looking back from the top of a hill,
Shorty’s heart lightened as he saw a squad moving
out which he was confident was led by Capt. McGillicuddy.
But little had been said so far.
At a turn of the road they came upon a gray-bearded
man, wearing a battered silk hat and spectacles, whom
Mrs. Bolster greeted as “’Squire.”
The word seemed to send all the blood
from Shorty’s face, and he looked appealingly
to Si as if the crisis had come.
The newcomer looked them over sharply and inquired:
“Who are these men, Mrs. Bolster?”
“They’uns ’s all
right. They’uns ‘s had enough o’
Abolition doin’s, and hev come over whar they’uns
allers rayly belonged. This one is a partickler
friend o’ mine,” and she leered at Shorty
in a way that made his blood run cold.
“Hain’t yo’
time t’ stop a minute, ’Squire?”
she asked appealingly, as the newcomer turned his
horse’s head to renew his journey.
“Not now; not now,” answered
the ’Squire, digging his heels into his steed’s
side. “I want to talk t’ yo’
and these ’ere men ’bout what’s
gwine on in the Lincoln camps, but I must hurry on
now to meet Capt. Solomon at the Winding Blades.
I’ll come over to your house this evening,”
he called back.
“Don’t fail, ‘Squire,”
she answered, “fur I’ve got a little job
for yo’, an’ I want hit partickerly
done this very evenin’. Hit can’t
wait.”
“I’ll be there without fail,” he
assured her.
“Capt. Solomon’s
the man what sent the letter to you,” she explained,
which somewhat raised Shorty’s depressed heart,
for he began to have hopes that Rosenbaum might rescue
him if Capt. McGillicuddy should be behind time.
As they jogged onward farther from
camp Mrs. Bolster’s saturnine earnestness began
to be succeeded by what were intended to be demonstrations
of playful affection for her future husband, whom she
now began to regard as securely hers. She would
draw Shorty into the path a little ahead of Si, and
walk alongside of him, pinching his arm and jabbering
incoherent words which were meant for terms of endearment.
When the narrowness of the road made them walk in single
file she would come up from time to time alongside
with cuffs intended for playful love-taps.
At each of these Shorty would cast
such a look of wretchedness at Si that the latter
had difficulty in preserving his steadfast silence
and rigidity of countenance.
But the woman’s chief affection
seemed to be called forth by the package of coffee.
She would stop in the midst of any demonstration
to pull out the bag containing the fragrant berry,
and lovingly inhale its odor.
It was long past noon when she announced:
“Thar’s my house right ahead.”
She followed this up with a ringing whoopee, which
made the tumbledown cabin suddenly swarm with animation.
A legion of loud-mouthed dogs charged down toward
the road. Children of various ages, but of no
variety in their rags and unkempt wildness, followed
the dogs, or perched upon the fence-corners and stumps,
and three or four shambling, evil-faced mountaineers
lunged forward, guns in hand, with eyes fiercer than
the dogs, as they looked over the two armed soldiers.
“They’uns is all right,
boys,” exclaimed the woman. “They’uns
’s plum sick o’ doggin’ hit for
Abe Lincoln an’ quit.”
“Let ’em gin up thar guns,
then,” said the foremost man, who had but one
eye, reaching for Shorty’s musket. “I’ll
take this one. I’ve been longin’
for a good Yankee gun for a plum month to reach them
Yankee pickets on Duck River.”
Though Shorty and Si had schooled
themselves in the part they were to play, the repugnant
thought of giving up their arms to the rebels threatened
to overset everything. Instinctively they threw
up their guns to knock over the impudent guerrillas.
The woman strode between them and the others, and
caught hold of their muskets.
“Don’t be fools.
Let ’em have your guns,” she said, and
she caught Si’s with such quick unexpectedness
that she wrenched it from his grasp and flung
it to the man who wanted Shorty’s. She threw
one arm around Shorty’s neck, with a hug so
muscular that his breath failed, and she wrenched
his gun away. She kept this in her hand, however.
“Now, I want these ’ere
men treated right,” she announced to the others,
“and I’m a-gwine to have ’em treated
right, or I’ll bust somebody’s skillet.
They’uns is my takings, and I’m a-gwine
to have all the say ’bout ’em. I’ve
never interfered with any Yankees any o’ yo’uns
have brung in. Yo’ve done with them as
you pleased, an’ I’m a-gwine to do with
these jest as I please, and yo’uns that don’t
like hit kin jest lump hit, that’s all.”
“‘Frony Bolster, I want
yo’ to take yo’r arms from around
that Yank’s neck,” said the man who had
tried to take Shorty’s gun. “I won’t
’low yo’ to put yo’r arm ’round
another man’s neck as long’s I’m
alive to stop it.”
“Ye won’t, Jeff Hackberry,”
she sneered. “Jealous, air ye? You’ve
got no bizniss o’ bein’. Done tole
ye ‘long ago I’d never marry yo’,
so long as I could find a man who has two good eyes
and a ’spectable character. I’ve
done found him. Here he is, and ’Squire
Corson ’ll splice us to-night.”
How much of each of the emotions of
jealousy, disappointment, hurt vanity, and rebel antagonism
went into the howl that Mr. Jeff Hackberry set up
at this announcement will never be known. He made
a rush with clenched fists at Shorty.
A better description could be given
of the operations of the center of a tornado than
of the events of the next few minutes. Shorty
and Hackberry grappled fiercely. Mrs. Bolster
mixed in to stop the fight and save Shorty. Si
and the other three rebels flung themselves into the
whirlpool of strikes, kicks, and grapples. The
delighted children came rushing in, and eagerly joined
the fray, striking with charming impartiality at every
opportunity to get a lick in anywhere on anybody;
and finally the legion of dogs, to whom such scenes
seemed familiar and gladsome, rushed in with an ear-splitting
clamor, and jumped and bit at the arms and legs that
went flying around.
This was too violent to last long.
Everybody and everything had to stop from sheer exhaustion.
But when the stop came Mrs. Bolster was sitting on
the prostrate form of Jeff Hackberry. The others
were disentangling themselves from one another, the
children and the dogs, and apparently trying to get
themselves into relation with the points of the compass
and understand what had been happening.
“Have yo’ had enough,
Jeff Hackberry,” inquired Mrs. Bolster, “or
will yo’ obleege me to gouge yer other
eye out afore yo’ come to yer senses?”
“Le’ me up, ‘Frony,”
pleaded the man, “an’ then we kin talk
this thing over.”