The summer was spent by us in the
company of Mrs. Temple and Constance, partly at Royston
and partly at Worth Maltravers. John had again
hired the cutter-yacht Palestine, and the whole
party made several expeditions in her. Constance
was entirely devoted to her lover; her life seemed
wrapped up in his; she appeared to have no existence
except in his presence.
I can scarcely enumerate the reasons
which prompted such thoughts, but during these months
I sometimes found myself wondering if John still returned
her affection as ardently as I knew had once been the
case. I can certainly call to mind no single
circumstance which could justify me in such a suspicion.
He performed punctiliously all those thousand little
acts of devotion which are expected of an accepted
lover; he seemed to take pleasure in perfecting any
scheme of enjoyment to amuse her; and yet the impression
grew in my mind that he no longer felt the same heart-whole
love to her that she bore him, and that he had himself
shown six months earlier. I cannot say, my dear
Edward, how lively was the grief that even the suspicion
of such a fact caused me, and I continually rebuked
myself for entertaining for a moment a thought so
unworthy, and dismissed it from my mind with reprobation.
Alas! ere long it was sure again to make itself felt.
We had all seen the Stradivarius violin; indeed it
was impossible for my brother longer to conceal it
from us, as he now played continually on it. He
did not recount to us the story of its discovery,
contenting himself with saying that he had become
possessed of it at Oxford. We imagined naturally
that he had purchased it; and for this I was sorry,
as I feared Mr. Thoresby, his guardian, who had given
him some years previously an excellent violin by Pressenda,
might feel hurt at seeing his present so unceremoniously
laid aside. None of us were at all intimately
acquainted with the fancies of fiddle-collectors,
and were consequently quite ignorant of the enormous
value that fashion attached to so splendid an instrument.
Even had we known, I do not think that we should have
been surprised at John purchasing it; for he had recently
come of age, and was in possession of so large a fortune
as would amply justify him in such an indulgence had
he wished to gratify it. No one, however, could
remain unaware of the wonderful musical qualities
of the instrument. Its rich and melodious tones
would commend themselves even to the most unmusical
ear, and formed a subject of constant remark.
I noticed also that my brother’s knowledge of
the violin had improved in a very perceptible manner,
for it was impossible to attribute the great beauty
and power of his present performance entirely to the
excellence of the instrument he was using. He
appeared more than ever devoted to the art, and would
shut himself up in his room alone for two or more
hours together for the purpose of playing the violina
habit which was a source of sorrow to Constance, for
he would never allow her to sit with him on such occasions,
as she naturally wished to do.
So the summer fled. I should
have mentioned that in July, after going up to complete
the viva-voce part of their examination, both
Mr. Gaskell and John received information that they
had obtained “first-classes.” The
young men had, it appears, done excellently well, and
both had secured a place in that envied division of
the first-class which was called “above the
line.” John’s success proved a source
of much pleasure to us all, and mutual congratulations
were freely exchanged. We were pleased also at
Mr. Gaskell’s high place, remembering the kindness
which he had shown us at Oxford in the previous year.
I desired to send him my compliments and félicitations
when he should next be writing to him. I did
not doubt that my brother would return Mr. Gaskell’s
congratulations, which he had already received:
he said, however, that his friend had given no address
to which he could write, and so the matter dropped.
On the 1st of September John and Constance
Temple were married. The wedding took place at
Royston, and by John’s special desire (with which
Constance fully agreed) the ceremony was of a strictly
private and unpretentious nature. The newly married
pair had determined to spend their honeymoon in Italy,
and left for the Continent in the forenoon.
Mrs. Temple invited me to remain with
her for the present at Royston, which I was very glad
to do, feeling deeply the loss of a favourite brother,
and looking forward with dismay to six weeks of loneliness
which must elapse before I should again see him and
my dearest Constance.
We received news of our travellers
about a fortnight afterwards, and then heard from
them at frequent intervals. Constance wrote in
the best of spirits, and with the keenest appreciation.
She had never travelled in Switzerland or Italy before
and all was enchantingly novel to her. They had
journeyed through Basle to Lucerne, spending a few
days in that delightful spot, and thence proceeding
by the Simplon Pass to Lugano and the Italian
lakes. Then we heard that they had gone further
south than had been at first contemplated; they had
reached Rome, and were intending to go on to Naples.
After the first few weeks we neither
of us received any more letters from John. It
was always Constance who wrote, and even her letters
grew very much less frequent than had at first been
the case. This was perhaps natural, as the business
of travel no doubt engrossed their thoughts.
But ere long we both perceived that the letters of
our dear girl were more constrained and formal than
before. It was as if she was writing now rather
to comply with a sense of duty than to give vent to
the light-hearted gaiety and naïve enjoyment which
breathed in every line of her earlier communications.
So at least it seemed to us, and again the old suspicion
presented itself to my mind, and I feared that all
was not as it should be.
Naples was to be the turning-point
of their travels, and we expected them to return to
England by the end of October. November had arrived,
however, and we still had no intimation that their
return journey had commenced or was even decided on.
From John there was no word, and Constance wrote less
often than ever. John, she said, was enraptured
with Naples and its surroundings; he devoted himself
much to the violin, and though she did not say so,
this meant, I knew, that she was often left alone.
For her own part, she did not think that a continued
residence in Italy would suit her health; the sudden
changes of temperature tried her, and people said
that the airs rising in the evening from the bay were
unwholesome.
Then we received a letter from her
which much alarmed us. It was written from Naples
and dated October 25. John, she said, had been
ailing of late with nervousness and insomnia.
On Wednesday, two days before the date of her letter,
he had suffered all day from a strange restlessness,
which increased after they had retired for the evening.
He could not sleep and had dressed again, telling
her he would walk a little in the night air to compose
himself. He had not returned till near six in
the morning, and then was so deadly pale and seemed
so exhausted that she insisted on his keeping to his
bed till she could get medical advice. The doctors
feared that he had been attacked by some strange form
of malarial fever, and said he needed much care.
Our anxiety was, however, at least temporarily relieved
by the receipt of later tidings which spoke of John’s
recovery; but November drew to a close without any
definite mention of their return having reached us.
That month is always, I think, a dreary
one in the country. It has neither the brilliant
tints of October, nor the cosy jollity of mid-winter
with its Christmas joys to alleviate it. This
year it was more gloomy than usual. Incessant
rain had marked its close, and the Roy, a little brook
which skirted the gardens not far from the house,
had swollen to unusual proportions. At last one
wild night the flood rose so high as to completely
cover the garden terraces, working havoc in the parterres,
and covering the lawns with a thick coat of mud.
Perhaps this gloominess of nature’s outer face
impressed itself in a sense of apprehension on our
spirits, and it was with a feeling of more than ordinary
pleasure and relief that early in December we received
a letter dated from Laon, saying that our travellers
were already well advanced on their return journey,
and expected to be in England a week after the receipt
by us of this advice. It was, as usual, Constance
who wrote. John begged, she said, that Christmas
might be spent at Worth Maltravers, and that we would
at once proceed thither to see that all was in order
against their return. They reached Worth about
the middle of the month, and were, I need not say,
received with the utmost affection by Mrs. Temple
and myself.
In reply to our inquiries John professed
that his health was completely restored; but though
we could indeed discern no other signs of any special
weakness, we were much shocked by his changed appearance.
He had completely lost his old healthy and sunburnt
complexion, and his face, though not thin or sunken,
was strangely pale. Constance assured us that
though in other respects he had apparently recovered,
he had never regained his old colour from the night
of his attack of fever at Naples.
I soon perceived that her own spirits
were not so bright as was ordinarily the case with
her; and she exhibited none of the eagerness to narrate
to others the incidents of travel which is generally
observable in those who have recently returned from
a journey. The cause of this depression was,
alas! not difficult to discover, for John’s former
abstraction and moodiness seemed to have returned with
an increased force. It was a source of infinite
pain to Mrs. Temple, and perhaps even more so to me,
to observe this sad state of things. Constance
never complained, and her affection towards her husband
seemed only to increase in the face of difficulties.
Yet the matter was one which could not be hid from
the anxious eyes of loving kinswomen, and I believe
that it was the consciousness that these altered circumstances
could not but force themselves upon our notice that
added poignancy to my poor sister’s grief.
While not markedly neglecting her, my brother had
evidently ceased to take that pleasure in her company
which might reasonably have been expected in any case
under the circumstances of a recent marriage, and
a thousand times more so when his wife was so loving
and beautiful a creature as Constance Temple.
He appeared little except at meals, and not even always
at lunch, shutting himself up for the most part in
his morning-room or study and playing continually on
the violin. It was in vain that we attempted even
by means of his music to win him back to a sweeter
mood. Again and again I begged him to allow me
to accompany him on the pianoforte, but he would never
do so, always putting me off with some excuse.
Even when he sat with us in the evening, he spoke
little, devoting himself for the most part to reading.
His books were almost always Greek or Latin, so that
I am ignorant of the subjects of his study; but he
was content that either Constance or I should play
on the pianoforte, saying that the melody, so far from
distracting his attention, helped him rather to appreciate
what he was reading. Constance always begged
me to allow her to take her place at the instrument
on these occasions, and would play to him sometimes
for hours without receiving a word of thanks, being
eager even in this unreciprocated manner to testify
her love and devotion to him.
Christmas Day, usually so happy a
season, brought no alleviation of our gloom.
My brother’s reserve continually increased, and
even his longest-established habits appeared changed.
He had been always most observant of his religious
duties, attending divine service with the utmost regularity
whatever the weather might be, and saying that it was
a duty a landed proprietor owed as much to his tenantry
as himself to set a good example in such matters.
Ever since our earliest years he and I had gone morning
and afternoon on Sundays to the little church of Worth,
and there sat together in the Maltravers chapel where
so many of our name had sat before us. Here their
monuments and achievements stood about us on every
side, and it had always seemed to me that with their
name and property we had inherited also the obligation
to continue those acts of piety, in the practice of
which so many of them had lived and died. It
was, therefore, a source of surprise and great grief
to me when on the Sunday after his return my brother
omitted all religious observances, and did not once
attend the parish church. He was not present
with us at breakfast, ordering coffee and a roll to
be taken to his private sitting-room. At the
hour at which we usually set out for church I went
to his room to tell him that we were all dressed and
waiting for him. I tapped at the door, but on
trying to enter found it locked. In reply to
my message he did not open the door, but merely begged
us to go on to church, saying he would possibly follow
us later. We went alone, and I sat anxiously
in our seat with my eyes fixed on the door, hoping
against hope that each late comer might be John, but
he never came. Perhaps this will appear to you,
Edward, a comparatively trivial circumstance (though
I hope it may not), but I assure you that it brought
tears to my eyes. When I sat in the Maltravers
chapel and thought that for the first time my dear
brother had preferred in an open way his convenience
or his whim to his duty, and had of set purpose neglected
to come to the house of God, I felt a bitter grief
that seemed to rise up in my throat and choke me.
I could not think of the meaning of the prayers nor
join in the singing: and all the time that Mr.
Butler, our clergyman, was preaching, a verse of a
little piece of poetry which I learnt as a girl was
running in my head:
“How easy are the paths of ill;
How steep and hard the
upward ways;
A child can roll the stone down hill
That breaks a giant’s
arm to raise.”
It seemed to me that our loved one
had set his foot upon the downward slope, and that
not all the efforts of those who would have given their
lives to save him could now hold him back.
It was even worse on Christmas Day.
Ever since we had been confirmed John and I had always
taken the Sacrament on that happy morning, and after
service he had distributed the Maltravers dole in our
chapel. There are given, as you know, on that
day to each of twelve old men L5 and a green coat,
and a like sum of money with a blue cloth dress to
as many old women. These articles of dress are
placed on the altar-tomb of Sir Esmoun de Maltravers,
and have been thence distributed from days immemorial
by the head of our house. Ever since he was twelve
years old it had been my pride to watch my handsome
brother doing this deed of noble charity, and to hear
the kindly words he added with each gift.
Alas! alas! it was all different this
Christmas. Even on this holy day my brother did
not approach either the altar or the house of God.
Till then Christmas had always seemed to me to be
a day given us from above, that we might see even
while on earth a faint glimpse of that serenity and
peaceful love which will hereafter gild all days in
heaven. Then covetous men lay aside their greed
and enemies their rancour, then warm hearts grow warmer,
and Christians feel their common brotherhood.
I can scarcely imagine any man so lost or guilty as
not to experience on that day some desire to turn
back to the good once more, as not to recognise some
far-off possibility of better things. It was thoughts
free and happy such as these that had previously come
into my heart in the service of Christmas Day, and
been particularly associated with the familiar words
that we all love so much. But that morning the
harmonies were all jangled: it seemed as though
some evil spirit was pouring wicked thoughts into
my ear; and even while children sang “Hark the
herald angels,” I thought I could hear through
it all a melody which I had learnt to loathe, the
Gagliarda of the “Areopagita.”
Poor Constance! Though her veil
was down, I could see her tears, and knew her thoughts
must be sadder even than mine: I drew her hand
towards me, and held it as I would a child’s.
After the service was over a new trial awaited us.
John had made no arrangement for the distribution of
the dole. The coats and dresses were all piled
ready on Sir Esmoun’s tomb, and there lay the
little leather pouches of money, but there was no
one to give them away. Mr. Butler looked puzzled,
and approaching us, said he feared Sir John was illhad
he made no provision for the distribution? Pride
kept back the tears which were rising fast, and I
said my brother was indeed unwell, that it would be
better for Mr. Butler to give away the dole, and that
Sir John would himself visit the recipients during
the week. Then we hurried away, not daring to
watch the distribution of the dole, lest we should
no longer be able to master our feelings, and should
openly betray our agitation.
From one another we no longer attempted
to conceal our grief. It seemed as though we
had all at once resolved to abandon the farce of pretending
not to notice John’s estrangement from his wife,
or of explaining away his neglectful and unaccountable
treatment of her.
I do not think that three poor women
were ever so sad on Christmas Day before as were we
on our return from church that morning. None of
us had seen my brother, but about five in the afternoon
Constance went to his room, and through the locked
door begged piteously to see him. After a few
minutes he complied with her request and opened the
door. The exact circumstances of that interview
she never revealed to me, but I knew from her manner
when she returned that something she had seen or heard
had both grieved and frightened her. She told
me only that she had flung herself in an agony of
tears at his feet, and kneeling there, weary and broken-hearted,
had begged him to tell her if she had done aught amiss,
had prayed him to give her back his love. To all
this he answered little, but her entreaties had at
least such an effect as to induce him to take his
dinner with us that evening. At that meal we tried
to put aside our gloom, and with feigned smiles and
cheerful voices, from which the tears were hardly
banished, sustained a weary show of conversation and
tried to wile away his evil mood. But he spoke
little; and when Foster, my father’s butler,
put on the table the three-handled Maltravers’
loving-cup that he had brought up Christmas by Christmas
for thirty years, my brother merely passed it by without
a taste. I saw by Foster’s face that the
master’s malady was no longer a secret even from
the servants.
I shall not harass my own feelings
nor yours, my dear Edward, by entering into further
details of your father’s illness, for such it
was obvious his indisposition had become. It
was the only consolation, and that was a sorry one,
that we could use with Constance, to persuade her
that John’s estrangement from her was merely
the result or manifestation of some physical infirmity.
He obviously grew worse from week to week, and his
treatment of his wife became colder and more callous.
We had used all efforts to persuade him to take a
change of airto go to Royston for a month,
and place himself under the care of Dr. Dobie.
Mrs. Temple had even gone so far as to write privately
to this physician, telling him as much of the ease
as was prudent, and asking his advice. Not being
aware of the darker sides of my brother’s ailment,
Dr. Dobie replied in a less serious strain than seemed
to us convenient, but recommended in any case a complete
change of air and scene.
It was, therefore, with no ordinary
pleasure and relief that we heard my brother announce
quite unexpectedly one morning in March that he had
made up his mind to seek change, and was going to leave
almost immediately for the Continent. He took
his valet Parnham with him, and quitted Worth one
morning before lunch, bidding us an unceremonious
adieu, though he kissed Constance with some apparent
tenderness. It was the first time for three months,
she confessed to me afterwards, that he had shown
her even so ordinary a mark of affection; and her wounded
heart treasured up what she hoped would prove a token
of returning love. He had not proposed to take
her with him, and even had he done so, we should have
been reluctant to assent, as signs were not wanting
that it might have been imprudent for her to undertake
foreign travel at that period.
For nearly a month we had no word
of him. Then he wrote a short note to Constance
from Naples, giving no news, and indeed, scarce speaking
of himself at all, but mentioning as an address to
which she might write if she wished, the Villa de
Angelis at Posilipo. Though his letter was cold
and empty, yet Constance was delighted to get it, and
wrote henceforth herself nearly every day, pouring
out her heart to him, and retailing such news as she
thought would cheer him.