Among the many fatuous ideas that
possessed the Olympian noddle, this one was pre-eminent;
that, being Olympians, they could talk quite freely
in our presence on subjects of the closest import to
us, so long as names, dates, and other landmarks were
ignored. We were supposed to be denied the faculty
for putting two and two together; and, like the monkeys,
who very sensibly refrain from speech lest they should
be set to earn their livings, we were careful to conceal
our capabilities for a simple syllogism. Thus
we were rarely taken by surprise, and so were considered
by our disappointed elders to be apathetic and to lack
the divine capacity for wonder.
Now the daily output of the letter-bag,
with the mysterious discussions that ensued thereon,
had speedily informed us that Uncle Thomas was intrusted
with a mission, a mission, too, affecting
ourselves. Uncle Thomas’s missions were
many and various; a self-important man, one liking
the business while protesting that he sank under the
burden, he was the missionary, so to speak, of our
remote habitation. The matching a ribbon, the
running down to the stores, the interviewing a cook, these
and similar duties lent constant colour and variety
to his vacant life in London and helped to keep down
his figure. When the matter, however, had in
our presence to be referred to with nods and pronouns,
with significant hiatuses and interpolations in the
French tongue, then the red flag was flown, the storm-cone
hoisted, and by a studious pretence of inattention
we were not long in plucking out the heart of the
mystery.
To clinch our conclusion, we descended
suddenly and together on Martha; proceeding, however,
not by simple inquiry as to facts, that
would never have done, but by informing
her that the air was full of school and that we knew
all about it, and then challenging denial. Martha
was a trusty soul, but a bad witness for the defence,
and we soon had it all out of her. The word had
gone forth, the school had been selected; the necessary
sheets were hemming even now; and Edward was the designated
and appointed victim.
It had always been before us as an
inevitable bourne, this strange unknown thing called
school; and yet perhaps I should say consequently we
had never seriously set ourselves to consider what
it really meant. But now that the grim spectre
loomed imminent, stretching lean hands for one of
our flock, it behoved us to face the situation, to
take soundings in this uncharted sea and find out whither
we were drifting. Unfortunately, the data in
our possession were absolutely insufficient, and we
knew not whither to turn for exact information.
Uncle Thomas could have told us all about it, of course;
he had been there himself, once, in the dim and misty
past. But an unfortunate conviction, that Nature
had intended him for a humourist, tainted all his
evidence, besides making it wearisome to hear.
Again, of such among our contemporaries as we had
approached, the trumpets gave forth an uncertain sound.
According to some, it meant larks, revels, emancipation,
and a foretaste of the bliss of manhood. According
to others, the majority, alas! it
was a private and peculiar Hades, that could give
the original institution points and a beating.
When Edward was observed to be swaggering round with
a jaunty air and his chest stuck out, I knew that
he was contemplating his future from the one point
of view. When, on the contrary, he was subdued
and unaggressive, and sought the society of his sisters,
I recognised that the other aspect was in the ascendant.
“You can always run away, you know,” I
used to remark consolingly on these latter occasions;
and Edward would brighten up wonderfully at the suggestion,
while Charlotte melted into tears before her vision
of a brother with blistered feet and an empty belly,
passing nights of frost ’neath the lee of windy
haystacks.
It was to Edward, of course, that
the situation was chiefly productive of anxiety; and
yet the ensuing change in my own circumstances and
position furnished me also with food for grave reflexion.
Hitherto I had acted mostly to orders. Even when
I had devised and counselled any particular devilry,
it had been carried out on Edward’s approbation,
and as eldest at his special
risk. Henceforward I began to be anxious of the
bugbear Responsibility, and to realise what a soul-throttling
thing it is. True, my new position would have
its compensations.
Edward had been masterful exceedingly,
imperious, perhaps a little narrow; impassioned for
hard facts, and with scant sympathy for make-believe.
I should now be free and untrammelled; in the conception
and carrying out of a scheme, I could accept and reject
to better artistic purpose.
It would, moreover, be needless to
be a Radical any more. Radical I never was, really,
by nature or by sympathy. The part had been thrust
on me one day, when Edward proposed to foist the House
of Lords on our small Republic. The principles
of the thing he set forth learnedly and well, and
it all sounded promising enough, till he went on to
explain that, for the present at least, he proposed
to be the House of Lords himself. We others were
to be the Commons. There would be promotions,
of course, he added, dependent on service and on fitness,
and open to both sexes; and to me in especial he held
out hopes of speedy advancement. But in its initial
stages the thing wouldn’t work properly unless
he were first and only Lord. Then I put my foot
down promptly, and said it was all rot, and I didn’t
see the good of any House of Lords at all. “Then
you must be a low Radical!” said Edward, with
fine contempt. The inference seemed hardly necessary,
but what could I do? I accepted the situation,
and said firmly, Yes, I was a low Radical. In
this monstrous character I had been obliged to masquerade
ever since; but now I could throw it off, and look
the world in the face again.
And yet, did this and other gains
really out-balance my losses? Henceforth I should,
it was true, be leader and chief; but I should also
be the buffer between the Olympians and my little clan.
To Edward this had been nothing; he had withstood
the impact of Olympus without flinching, like Teneriffe
or Atlas unremoved. But was I equal to the task?
And was there not rather a danger that for the sake
of peace and quietness I might be tempted to compromise,
compound, and make terms? sinking thus, by successive
lapses, into the Blameless Prig? I don’t
mean, of course, that I thought out my thoughts to
the exact point here set down. In those fortunate
days of old one was free from the hard necessity of
transmuting the vague idea into the mechanical inadequate
medium of words. But the feeling was there, that
I might not possess the qualities of character for
so delicate a position.
The unnatural halo round Edward got
more pronounced, his own demeanour more responsible
and dignified, with the arrival of his new clothes.
When his trunk and play-box were sent in, the approaching
cleavage between our brother, who now belonged to
the future, and ourselves, still claimed by the past,
was accentuated indeed. His name was painted
on each of them, in large letters, and after their
arrival their owner used to disappear mysteriously,
and be found eventually wandering round his luggage,
murmuring to himself, “Edward ,”
in a rapt, remote sort of way. It was a weakness,
of course, and pointed to a soft spot in his character;
but those who can remember the sensation of first seeing
their names in print will not think hardly of him.
As the short days sped by and the
grim event cast its shadow longer and longer across
our threshold, an unnatural politeness, a civility
scarce canny, began to pervade the air. In those
latter hours Edward himself was frequently heard to
say “Please,” and also “Would you
mind fetchin’ that ball?” while Harold
and I would sometimes actually find ourselves trying
to anticipate his wishes. As for the girls, they
simply grovelled. The Olympians, too, in their
uncouth way, by gift of carnal delicacies and such-like
indulgence, seemed anxious to demonstrate that they
had hitherto misjudged this one of us. Altogether
the situation grew strained and false, and I think
a general relief was felt when the end came.
We all trooped down to the station,
of course; it is only in later years that the farce
of “seeing people off” is seen in its true
colours. Edward was the life and soul of the
party; and if his gaiety struck one at times as being
a trifle overdone, it was not a moment to be critical.
As we tramped along, I promised him I would ask Farmer
Larkin not to kill any more pigs till he came back
for the holidays, and he said he would send me a proper
catapult, the real lethal article, not a
kid’s plaything. Then suddenly, when we
were about half-way down, one of the girls fell a-snivelling.
The happy few who dare to laugh at
the woes of sea-sickness will perhaps remember how,
on occasion, the sudden collapse of a fellow-voyager
before their very eyes has caused them hastily to revise
their self-confidence and resolve to walk more humbly
for the future. Even so it was with Edward, who
turned his head aside, feigning an interest in the
landscape. It was but for a moment; then he recollected
the hat he was wearing, a hard bowler,
the first of that sort he had ever owned. He
took it off, examined it, and felt it over. Something
about it seemed to give him strength, and he was a
man once more.
At the station, Edward’s first
care was to dispose his boxes on the platform so that
every one might see the labels and the lettering thereon.
One did not go to school for the first time every day!
Then he read both sides of his ticket carefully; shifted
it to every one of his pockets in turn; and finally
fell to chinking of his money, to keep his courage
up. We were all dry of conversation by this time,
and could only stand round and stare in silence at
the victim decked for the altar. And, as I looked
at Edward, in new clothes of a manly cut, with a hard
hat upon his head, a railway ticket in one pocket and
money of his own in the other, money to
spend as he liked and no questions asked! I
began to feel dimly how great was the gulf already
yawning betwixt us. Fortunately I was not old
enough to realise, further, that here on this little
platform the old order lay at its last gasp, and that
Edward might come back to us, but it would not be
the Edward of yore, nor could things ever be the same
again.
When the train steamed up at last,
we all boarded it impetuously with the view of selecting
the one peerless carriage to which Edward might be
intrusted with the greatest comfort and honour; and
as each one found the ideal compartment at the same
moment, and vociferously maintained its merits, he
stood some chance for a time of being left behind.
A porter settled the matter by heaving him through
the nearest door; and as the train moved off, Edward’s
head was thrust out of the window, wearing on it an
unmistakable first-quality grin that he had been saving
up somewhere for the supreme moment. Very small
and white his face looked, on the long side of the
retreating train. But the grin was visible, undeniable,
stoutly maintained; till a curve swept him from our
sight, and he was borne away in the dying rumble, out
of our placid backwater, out into the busy world of
rubs and knocks and competition, out into the New
Life.
When a crab has lost a leg, his gait
is still more awkward than his wont, till Time and
healing Nature make him totus teres atque
rotundus once more. We straggled back from
the station disjointedly; Harold, who was very silent,
sticking close to me, his last slender props while
the girls in front, their heads together, were already
reckoning up the weeks to the holidays. Home
at last, Harold suggested one or two occupations of
a spicy and contraband flavour, but though we did our
manful best there was no knocking any interest out
of them. Then I suggested others, with the same
want of success. Finally we found ourselves sitting
silent on an upturned wheelbarrow, our chins on our
fists, staring haggardly into the raw new conditions
of our changed life, the ruins of a past behind our
backs.
And all the while Selina and Charlotte
were busy stuffing Edward’s rabbits with unwonted
forage, bilious and green; polishing up the cage of
his mice till the occupants raved and swore like householders
in spring-time; and collecting materials for new bows
and arrows, whips, boats, guns, and four-in-hand harness,
against the return of Ulysses. Little did they
dream that the hero, once back from Troy and all its
onsets, would scornfully condemn their clumsy but laborious
armoury as rot and humbug and only fit for kids!
This, with many another like awakening, was mercifully
hidden from them. Could the veil have been lifted,
and the girls permitted to see Edward as he would appear
a short three months hence, ragged of attire and lawless
of tongue, a scorner of tradition and an adept in
strange new physical tortures, one who would in the
same half-hour dismember a doll and shatter a hallowed
belief, in fine, a sort of swaggering Captain,
fresh from the Spanish Main, could they
have had the least hint of this, well, then perhaps .
But which of us is of mental fibre to stand the test
of a glimpse into futurity? Let us only hope
that, even with certain disillusionment ahead, the
girls would have acted precisely as they did.
And perhaps we have reason to be very
grateful that, both as children and long afterwards,
we are never allowed to guess how the absorbing pursuit
of the moment will appear, not only to others, but
to ourselves, a very short time hence. So we
pass, with a gusto and a heartiness that to an onlooker
would seem almost pathetic, from one droll devotion
to another misshapen passion; and who shall care to
play Rhadamanthus, to appraise the record, and to
decide how much of it is solid achievement, and how
much the merest child’s play?