The next day Angus Home went out early
as usual, about his many parish duties; this was it
was true, neither a feast nor a fast day, nor had he
to attend a morning service, but he had long ago constituted
himself chief visitor among the sick and poorest of
his flock, and such work occupied him from morning
to night. Perhaps in a nature naturally inclined
to asceticism, this daily mingling with the very poor
and the very suffering, had helped to keep down all
ambitions for earthly good things, whether those good
things came in the guise of riches or honors; but
though unambitious and very humble, never pushing himself
forward, doing always the work that men who considered
themselves more fastidious would shun, never allowing
his voice to be heard where he believed wiser men
than he might speak, Mr. Home was neither morbid nor
unhappy; one of his greatest characteristics was an
utter absence of all self-consciousness.
The fact was, the man, though he had
a wife whom he loved, and children very dear to him,
had grown accustomed to hold life lightly; to him life
was in very truth a pilgrimage, a school, a morning
which should usher in the great day of the future.
His mental and spiritual eyes were fixed expectantly
and longingly on that day; and in connection with it,
it would be wrong to say that he was without ambition,
for he had a very earnest and burning desire, not
only for rank but for kingship by and by: he
wanted to be crowned with the crown of righteousness.
Angus Home knew well that to wear
that crown in all its lustre in the future, it must
begin to fit his head down here; and he also knew that
those who put on such crowns on earth, find them, as
their great and blessed Master did before them, made
of thorns.
It is no wonder then that the man
with so simple a faith, so Christ-like a spirit, should
not be greatly concerned by his wife’s story
of the night before. He did not absolutely forget
it, for he pondered over it as he wended his way to
the attic where the orphan Swifts lived. He felt
sorry for Lottie as he thought of it, and he hoped
she would soon cease to have such uncharitable ideas
of her half-brothers; he himself could not even entertain
the notion that any fraud had been committed; he felt
rather shocked that his Lottie should dwell on so base
a thing.
There is no doubt that this saint-like
man could be a tiny bit provoking; and so his wife
felt when he left her without again alluding to their
last night’s talk. After all it is wives
and mothers who feel the sharpest stings of poverty.
Charlotte had known what to be poor meant all her
life, as a child, as a young girl, as a wife, as a
mother, but she had been brave enough about it, indifferent
enough to it, until the children came; but from the
day her mother’s story was told her, and she
knew how close the wings of earthly comfort had swept
her by, discontent came into her heart. Discontent
came in and grew with the birth of each fresh little
one. She might have made her children so comfortable,
she could do so little with them; they were pretty
children too. It went to her heart to see their
beauty disfigured in ugly clothes; she used to look
the other way with a great jealous pang, when she
saw children not nearly so beautiful as hers, yet looked
at and admired because of their bright fresh colors
and dainty little surroundings. But poverty brought
worse stings than these. The small house in Kentish
Town was hot and stifling in the months of July and
August; the children grew pale and pined for the fresh
country air which could not be given to them; Lottie
herself grew weak and languid, and her husband’s
pale face seemed to grow more ethereal day by day.
At all such times as these did Charlotte Home’s
mind and thoughts refer back to her mother’s
story, and again and again the idea returned that a
great, great wrong had been done.
In the winter when this story opens,
poverty came very close to the little household.
They were, it is true, quite out of debt, but they
were only so because the food was kept so scanty, the
fires so low, dress so very insufficient to keep at
a distance the winter’s bitter cold; they were
only out of debt because the mother slaved from morning
to night, and the father ate less and less, having,
it is to be feared, less and less appetite to eat.
Then the wife and mother grew desperate,
money must be brought in how could it be
done? The doctor called and said that baby Angus
would die if he had not more milk he must
have what is called in London baby-milk, and plenty
of it. Such milk in Kentish Town meant money.
Lottie resolved that baby Angus should not die.
In answering an advertisement which she hoped would
give her employment, she accidentally found herself
in her own half-brother’s house. There was
the wealth which had belonged to her father; there
were the riches to which she was surely born.
How delicious were those soft carpets; how nice those
cushioned seats; how pleasant those glowing fires;
what an air of refinement breathed over everything;
how grand it was to be served by those noiseless and
well-trained servants; how great a thing was wealth,
after all!
She thought all this before she saw
Charlotte Harman. Then the gracious face, the
noble bearing, the kindly and sweet manner of this
girl of her own age, this girl who might have been
her dearest friend, who was so nearly related to her,
filled her with sudden bitterness; she believed herself
immeasurably inferior to Miss Harman, and yet she knew
that she might have been such another. She left
the house with a mingled feeling of relief and bitterness.
She was earning present money. What might she
not discover to benefit her husband and children by
and by?
In the evening, unable to keep her
thoughts to herself, she told them and her story for
the first time to her husband. Instantly he tore
the veil from her eyes. Was she, his wife, to
go to her own brother’s house as a spy?
No! a thousand times no! No wealth, however needed,
would be worth purchasing at such a price. If
Charlotte could not banish from her mind these unworthy
thoughts, she must give up so excellent a means of
earning money.
Poor Charlotte! The thoughts
her husband considered so mean, so untrue, so unworthy,
had become by this time part of her very being.
Oh! must the children suffer because unrighteous men
enjoyed what was rightfully theirs?
For the first time, the very first
time in all her life, she felt discontented with her
Angus. If only he were a little more everyday,
a little more practical; if only he would go to the
bottom of this mystery, and set her mind at rest!
She went about her morning duties
in a state of mental friction and aggravation, and,
as often happens, on this very morning when she seemed
least able to bear it, came the proverbial last straw.
Anne, the little maid, put in her head at the parlor
door.
“Ef you please, ’em, is
Harold to wear ’em shoes again? There’s
holes through and through of ’em, and it’s
most desp’rate sloppy out of doors this mornin’.”
Mrs. Home took the little worn-out
shoes in her hand; she saw at a glance that they were
quite past mending.
“Leave them here, Anne,”
she said. “You are right, he cannot wear
these again. I will go out at once and buy him
another pair.”
The small maid disappeared, and Charlotte
put her hand into her pocket. She drew out her
purse with a sinking heart. Was there money enough
in it to buy the necessary food for the day’s
consumption, and also to get new shoes for Harold?
A glance showed her but too swiftly there was not.
She never went on credit for anything the
shoes must wait, and Harold remain a prisoner in the
house that day. She went slowly up to the nursery:
Daisy and baby could go out and Harold should come
down to the parlor to her.
But one glance at her boy’s
pale face caused her heart to sink. He was a
handsome boy she thought him aristocratic,
fit to be the son of a prince but to-day
he was deadly pale, with that washy look which children
who pine for fresh air so often get. He was standing
in rather a moping attitude by the tiny window; but
at sight of his mother he flew to her.
“Mother, Anne says I’m
to have new shoes. Have you got them? I am
so glad.”
No, she could not disappoint her boy.
A sudden idea darted through her brain. She would
ask Miss Mitchell, the drawing-room boarder, to lend
her the three-and-sixpence which the little shoes would
cost. It was the first time she had ever borrowed,
and her pride rose in revolt at even naming the paltry
sum but, for the sake of her boy’s
pale face?
“I am going out to buy the shoes,”
she said, stooping down to kiss the sweet upturned
brow; and she flew downstairs and tapped at the drawing-room
door.
Miss Mitchell was a lady of about
fifty; she had been with them now for nearly a year,
and what she paid for the drawing-room and best bedroom
behind it, quite covered the rent of the shabby little
house. Miss Mitchell was Charlotte Home’s
grand standby; she was a very uninteresting person,
neither giving nor looking for sympathy, never concerning
herself about the family in whose house she lived.
But then, on the other hand, she was easily pleased;
she never grumbled, she paid her rent like clockwork.
She now startled Lottie by coming instantly forward
and telling her that it was her intention to leave
after the usual notice; she found the baby’s
fretful cries too troublesome, for her room was under
the nursery; this was one reason. Another, perhaps
the most truthful one, was, that her favorite curate
in St. Martin’s Church over the way, had received
promotion to another and more fashionable church,
and she would like to move to where she could still
be under his ministry. Charlotte bowed; there
was nothing for it but to accept the fact that her
comfortable lodger must go. Where could she find
a second Miss Mitchell, and how could she possibly
now ask for the loan of three and sixpence?
She left the room. Where was
the money to come from to buy Harold’s shoes?
for that little pleading face must not be disappointed.
This care was, for the moment, more pressing than
the loss of Miss Mitchell. How should she get
the money for her boy? She pressed her hand to
her brow to think out this problem. As she did
so, a ring she wore on her wedding-finger flashed;
it was her engagement ring, a plain gold band, only
differing from the wedding-ring, which it now guarded,
in that it possessed one small, very small diamond.
The diamond was perhaps the smallest that could be
purchased, but it was pure of its kind, and the tiny
gem now flashed a loving fire into her eyes, as though
it would speak if it could in answer to her inquiry.
Yes, if she sold this ring, the money would be forthcoming.
It was precious, it symbolized much to her; she had
no other to act as guard; but it was not so precious
as the blue eyes of her first-born. Her resolve
was scarcely conceived before it was put in practice.
She hastened out with the ring; a jeweller lived not
far away; he gave her fifteen shillings, and Charlotte,
feeling quite rich, bought the little shoes and hurried
home.
As she almost flew along the sloppy
streets a fresh thought came to her. Yes! she
must certainly decline that very excellent situation
with Miss Harman. That sorely wanted thirty shillings
a week must be given up, there was no question about
that. Bitter were her pangs of heart as she relinquished
the precious money, but it would be impossible for
her to go to her brother’s house in the only
spirit in which her husband would allow her to go.
Yes; she must give it up. When the children were
at last fairly started on their walk she would sit
down and write to Miss Harman. But why should
she write? She stood still as the thought came
to her to go to Miss Harman in person; to tell her
from her own lips that she must not visit that house,
or see her daily. She might or might not tell
her who she really was; she would leave that to circumstances;
but she would at least once more see her brother’s
house and look into the eyes of her brother’s
child. It would be a short, soon-lived-through
excitement. Still she was in that mood when to
sit still in inactivity was impossible; the visit
would lead to nothing, but still she would pay it;
afterwards would be time enough to think of finding
some one to replace Miss Mitchell, of trying to buy
again her engagement ring, of purchasing warm clothes
for her little ones.