An accomplished wizard once lived
on the top floor of a tenement house and passed his
time in thoughtful study and studious thought.
What he didn’t know about wizardry was hardly
worth knowing, for he possessed all the books and
recipes of all the wizards who had lived before him;
and, moreover, he had invented several wizardments
himself.
This admirable person would have been
completely happy but for the numerous interruptions
to his studies caused by folk who came to consult
him about their troubles (in which he was not interested),
and by the loud knocks of the iceman, the milkman,
the baker’s boy, the laundryman and the peanut
woman. He never dealt with any of these people;
but they rapped at his door every day to see him about
this or that or to try to sell him their wares.
Just when he was most deeply interested in his books
or engaged in watching the bubbling of a cauldron
there would come a knock at his door. And after
sending the intruder away he always found he had lost
his train of thought or ruined his compound.
At length these interruptions aroused
his anger, and he decided he must have a dog to keep
people away from his door. He didn’t know
where to find a dog, but in the next room lived a poor
glass-blower with whom he had a slight acquaintance;
so he went into the man’s apartment and asked:
“Where can I find a dog?”
“What sort of a dog?” inquired the glass-blower.
“A good dog. One that will
bark at people and drive them away. One that
will be no trouble to keep and won’t expect to
be fed. One that has no fleas and is neat in
his habits. One that will obey me when I speak
to him. In short, a good dog,” said the
wizard.
“Such a dog is hard to find,”
returned the glass-blower, who was busy making a blue
glass flower pot with a pink glass rosebush in it,
having green glass leaves and yellow glass roses.
The wizard watched him thoughtfully.
“Why cannot you blow me a dog out of glass?”
he asked, presently.
“I can,” declared the
glass-blower; “but it would not bark at people,
you know.”
“Oh, I’ll fix that easily
enough,” replied the other. “If I
could not make a glass dog bark I would be a mighty
poor wizard.”
“Very well; if you can use a
glass dog I’ll be pleased to blow one for you.
Only, you must pay for my work.”
“Certainly,” agreed the
wizard. “But I have none of that horrid
stuff you call money. You must take some of my
wares in exchange.”
The glass-blower considered the matter for a moment.
“Could you give me something to cure my rheumatism?”
he asked.
“Oh, yes; easily.”
“Then it’s a bargain.
I’ll start the dog at once. What color of
glass shall I use?”
“Pink is a pretty color,”
said the wizard, “and it’s unusual for
a dog, isn’t it?”
“Very,” answered the glass-blower;
“but it shall be pink.”
So the wizard went back to his studies
and the glass-blower began to make the dog.
Next morning he entered the wizard’s
room with the glass dog under his arm and set it carefully
upon the table. It was a beautiful pink in color,
with a fine coat of spun glass, and about its neck
was twisted a blue glass ribbon. Its eyes were
specks of black glass and sparkled intelligently,
as do many of the glass eyes worn by men.
The wizard expressed himself pleased
with the glass-blower’s skill and at once handed
him a small vial.
“This will cure your rheumatism,” he said.
“But the vial is empty!” protested the
glass-blower.
“Oh, no; there is one drop of liquid in it,”
was the wizard’s reply.
“Will one drop cure my rheumatism?”
inquired the glass-blower, in wonder.
“Most certainly. That is
a marvelous remedy. The one drop contained in
the vial will cure instantly any kind of disease ever
known to humanity. Therefore it is especially
good for rheumatism. But guard it well, for it
is the only drop of its kind in the world, and I’ve
forgotten the recipe.”
“Thank you,” said the
glass-blower, and went back to his room.
Then the wizard cast a wizzy spell
and mumbled several very learned words in the wizardese
language over the glass dog. Whereupon the little
animal first wagged its tail from side to side, then
winked his left eye knowingly, and at last began barking
in a most frightful manner that is, when
you stop to consider the noise came from a pink glass
dog. There is something almost astonishing in
the magic arts of wizards; unless, of course, you
know how to do the things yourself, when you are not
expected to be surprised at them.
The wizard was as delighted as a school
teacher at the success of his spell, although he was
not astonished. Immediately he placed the dog
outside his door, where it would bark at anyone who
dared knock and so disturb the studies of its master.
The glass-blower, on returning to
his room, decided not to use the one drop of wizard
cure-all just then.
“My rheumatism is better to-day,”
he reflected, “and I will be wise to save the
medicine for a time when I am very ill, when it will
be of more service to me.”
So he placed the vial in his cupboard
and went to work blowing more roses out of glass.
Presently he happened to think the medicine might
not keep, so he started to ask the wizard about it.
But when he reached the door the glass dog barked
so fiercely that he dared not knock, and returned
in great haste to his own room. Indeed, the poor
man was quite upset at so unfriendly a reception from
the dog he had himself so carefully and skillfully
made.
The next morning, as he read his newspaper,
he noticed an article stating that the beautiful Miss
Mydas, the richest young lady in town, was very ill,
and the doctors had given up hope of her recovery.
The glass-blower, although miserably
poor, hard-working and homely of feature, was a man
of ideas. He suddenly recollected his precious
medicine, and determined to use it to better advantage
than relieving his own ills. He dressed himself
in his best clothes, brushed his hair and combed his
whiskers, washed his hands and tied his necktie, blackened
his hoes and sponged his vest, and then put the vial
of magic cure-all in his pocket. Next he locked
his door, went downstairs and walked through the streets
to the grand mansion where the wealthy Miss Mydas
resided.
The butler opened the door and said:
“No soap, no chromos, no
vegetables, no hair oil, no books, no baking powder.
My young lady is dying and we’re well supplied
for the funeral.”
The glass-blower was grieved at being
taken for a peddler.
“My friend,” he began,
proudly; but the butler interrupted him, saying:
“No tombstones, either; there’s
a family graveyard and the monument’s built.”
“The graveyard won’t be
needed if you will permit me to speak,” said
the glass-blower.
“No doctors, sir; they’ve
given up my young lady, and she’s given up the
doctors,” continued the butler, calmly.
“I’m no doctor,” returned the glass-blower.
“Nor are the others. But what is your errand?”
“I called to cure your young lady by means of
a magical compound.”
“Step in, please, and take a
seat in the hall. I’ll speak to the housekeeper,”
said the butler, more politely.
So he spoke to the housekeeper and
the housekeeper mentioned the matter to the steward
and the steward consulted the chef and the chef kissed
the lady’s maid and sent her to see the stranger.
Thus are the very wealthy hedged around with ceremony,
even when dying.
When the lady’s maid heard from
the glass-blower that he had a medicine which would
cure her mistress, she said:
“I’m glad you came.”
“But,” said he, “if
I restore your mistress to health she must marry me.”
“I’ll make inquiries and
see if she’s willing,” answered the maid,
and went at once to consult Miss Mydas.
The young lady did not hesitate an instant.
“I’d marry any old thing
rather than die!” she cried. “Bring
him here at once!”
So the glass-blower came, poured the
magic drop into a little water, gave it to the patient,
and the next minute Miss Mydas was as well as she
had ever been in her life.
“Dear me!” she exclaimed;
“I’ve an engagement at the Fritters’
reception to-night. Bring my pearl-colored silk,
Marie, and I will begin my toilet at once. And
don’t forget to cancel the order for the funeral
flowers and your mourning gown.”
“But, Miss Mydas,” remonstrated
the glass-blower, who stood by, “you promised
to marry me if I cured you.”
“I know,” said the young
lady, “but we must have time to make proper
announcement in the society papers and have the wedding
cards engraved. Call to-morrow and we’ll
talk it over.”
The glass-blower had not impressed
her favorably as a husband, and she was glad to find
an excuse for getting rid of him for a time.
And she did not want to miss the Fritters’ reception.
Yet the man went home filled with
joy; for he thought his stratagem had succeeded and
he was about to marry a rich wife who would keep him
in luxury forever afterward.
The first thing he did on reaching
his room was to smash his glass-blowing tools and
throw them out of the window.
He then sat down to figure out ways
of spending his wife’s money.
The following day he called upon Miss
Mydas, who was reading a novel and eating chocolate
creams as happily as if she had never been ill in
her life.
“Where did you get the magic
compound that cured me?” she asked.
“From a learned wizard,”
said he; and then, thinking it would interest her,
he told how he had made the glass dog for the wizard,
and how it barked and kept everybody from bothering
him.
“How delightful!” she
said. “I’ve always wanted a glass
dog that could bark.”
“But there is only one in the
world,” he answered, “and it belongs to
the wizard.”
“You must buy it for me,” said the lady.
“The wizard cares nothing for money,”
replied the glass-blower.
“Then you must steal it for
me,” she retorted. “I can never live
happily another day unless I have a glass dog that
can bark.”
The glass-blower was much distressed
at this, but said he would see what he could do.
For a man should always try to please his wife, and
Miss Mydas has promised to marry him within a week.
On his way home he purchased a heavy
sack, and when he passed the wizard’s door and
the pink glass dog ran out to bark at him he threw
the sack over the dog, tied the opening with a piece
of twine, and carried him away to his own room.
The next day he sent the sack by a
messenger boy to Miss Mydas, with his compliments,
and later in the afternoon he called upon her in person,
feeling quite sure he would be received with gratitude
for stealing the dog she so greatly desired.
But when he came to the door and the
butler opened it, what was his amazement to see the
glass dog rush out and begin barking at him furiously.
“Call off your dog,” he shouted, in terror.
“I can’t, sir,”
answered the butler. “My young lady has
ordered the glass dog to bark whenever you call here.
You’d better look out, sir,” he added,
“for if it bites you, you may have glassophobia!”
This so frightened the poor glass-blower
that he went away hurriedly. But he stopped at
a drug store and put his last dime in the telephone
box so he could talk to Miss Mydas without being bitten
by the dog.
“Give me Pelf 6742!” he called.
“Hello! What is it?” said a voice.
“I want to speak with Miss Mydas,” said
the glass-blower.
Presently a sweet voice said: “This is
Miss Mydas. What is it?”
“Why have you treated me so
cruelly and set the glass dog on me?” asked
the poor fellow.
“Well, to tell the truth,”
said the lady, “I don’t like your looks.
Your cheeks are pale and baggy, your hair is coarse
and long, your eyes are small and red, your hands
are big and rough, and you are bow-legged.”
“But I can’t help my looks!”
pleaded the glass-blower; “and you really promised
to marry me.”
“If you were better looking
I’d keep my promise,” she returned.
“But under the circumstances you are no fit
mate for me, and unless you keep away from my mansion
I shall set my glass dog on you!” Then she dropped
the ’phone and would have nothing more to say.
The miserable glass-blower went home
with a heart bursting with disappointment and began
tying a rope to the bedpost by which to hang himself.
Some one knocked at the door, and,
upon opening it, he saw the wizard.
“I’ve lost my dog,” he announced.
“Have you, indeed?” replied
the glass-blower tying a knot in the rope.
“Yes; some one has stolen him.”
“That’s too bad,” declared the glass-blower,
indifferently.
“You must make me another,” said the wizard.
“But I cannot; I’ve thrown away my tools.”
“Then what shall I do?” asked the wizard.
“I do not know, unless you offer a reward for
the dog.”
“But I have no money,” said the wizard.
“Offer some of your compounds,
then,” suggested the glass-blower, who was making
a noose in the rope for his head to go through.
“The only thing I can spare,”
replied the wizard, thoughtfully, “is a Beauty
Powder.”
“What!” cried the glass-blower,
throwing down the rope, “have you really such
a thing?”
“Yes, indeed. Whoever takes
the powder will become the most beautiful person in
the world.”
“If you will offer that as a
reward,” said the glass-blower, eagerly, “I’ll
try to find the dog for you, for above everything
else I long to be beautiful.”
“But I warn you the beauty will
only be skin deep,” said the wizard.
“That’s all right,”
replied the happy glass-blower; “when I lose
my skin I shan’t care to remain beautiful.”
“Then tell me where to find
my dog and you shall have the powder,” promised
the wizard.
So the glass-blower went out and pretended
to search, and by-and-by he returned and said:
“I’ve discovered the dog.
You will find him in the mansion of Miss Mydas.”
The wizard went at once to see if
this were true, and, sure enough, the glass dog ran
out and began barking at him. Then the wizard
spread out his hands and chanted a magic spell which
sent the dog fast asleep, when he picked him up and
carried him to his own room on the top floor of the
tenement house.
Afterward he carried the Beauty Powder
to the glass-blower as a reward, and the fellow immediately
swallowed it and became the most beautiful man in
the world.
The next time he called upon Miss
Mydas there was no dog to bark at him, and when the
young lady saw him she fell in love with his beauty
at once.
“If only you were a count or
a prince,” she sighed, “I’d willingly
marry you.”
“But I am a prince,” he
answered; “the Prince of Dogblowers.”
“Ah!” said she; “then
if you are willing to accept an allowance of four
dollars a week I’ll order the wedding cards engraved.”
The man hesitated, but when he thought
of the rope hanging from his bedpost he consented
to the terms.
So they were married, and the bride
was very jealous of her husband’s beauty and
led him a dog’s life. So he managed to get
into debt and made her miserable in turn.
As for the glass dog, the wizard set
him barking again by means of his wizardness and put
him outside his door. I suppose he is there yet,
and am rather sorry, for I should like to consult the
wizard about the moral to this story.