In all Fairyland there is no more
mischievous a person than Tanko-Mankie the Yellow
Ryl. He flew through the city one afternoon quite
invisible to moral eyes, but seeing everything himself and
noticed a figure of a wax lady standing behind the
big plate glass window of Mr. Floman’s department
store.
The wax lady was beautifully dressed,
and extended in her stiff left hand was a card bearing
the words:
“Rare BARGIN!
This Stylish Costume
(Imported from Paris)
Former Price, $20,
reduced to only
$19.98.”
This impressive announcement had drawn
before the window a crowd of women shoppers, who stood
looking at the wax lady with critical eyes.
Tanko-Mankie laughed to himself the
low, gurgling little laugh that always means mischief.
Then he flew close to the wax figure and breathed
twice upon its forehead.
From that instant the dummy began
to live, but so dazed and astonished was she at the
unexpected sensation that she continued to stand stupidly
staring at the women outside and holding out the placard
as before.
The ryl laughed again and flew away.
Anyone but Tanko-Mankie would have remained to help
the wax lady out of the troubles that were sure to
overtake her; but this naughty elf thought it rare
fun to turn the inexperienced lady loose in a cold
and heartless world and leave her to shift for herself.
Fortunately it was almost six o’clock
when the dummy first realized that she was alive,
and before she had collected her new thoughts and
decided what to do a man came around and drew down
all the window shades, shutting off the view from
the curious shoppers.
Then the clerks and cashiers and floorwalkers
and cash girls went home and the store was closed
for the night, although the sweepers and scrubbers
remained to clean the floors for the following day.
The window inhabited by the wax lady
was boxed in, like a little room, one small door being
left at the side for the window-trimmer to creep in
and out of. So the scrubbers never noticed
that the dummy, when left to herself, dropped the
placard to the floor and sat down upon a pile of silks
to wonder who she was, where she was, and how she
happened to be alive.
For you must consider, dear reader,
that in spite of her size and her rich costume, in
spite of her pink cheeks and fluffy yellow hair, this
lady was very young no older, in reality,
than a baby born but half an hour. All she knew
of the world was contained in the glimpse she had
secured of the busy street facing her window; all
she knew of people lay in the actions of the group
of women which had stood before her on the other side
of the window pane and criticised the fit of her dress
or remarked upon its stylish appearance.
So she had little enough to think
about, and her thoughts moved somewhat slowly; yet
one thing she really decided upon, and that was not
to remain in the window and be insolently stared at
by a lot of women who were not nearly so handsome
or well dressed as herself.
By the time she reached this important
conclusion, it was after midnight; but dim lights
were burning in the big, deserted store, so she crept
through the door of her window and walked down the
long aisles, pausing now and then to look with much
curiosity at the wealth of finery confronting her
on every side.
When she came to the glass cases filled
with trimmed hats she remembered having seen upon
the heads of the women in the street similar creations.
So she selected one that suited her fancy and placed
it carefully upon her yellow locks. I won’t
attempt to explain what instinct it was that made
her glance into a near-by mirror to see if the hat
was straight, but this she certainly did. It
didn’t correspond with her dress very well, but
the poor thing was too young to have much taste in
matching colors.
When she reached the glove counter
she remembered that gloves were also worn by the women
she had seen. She took a pair from the case and
tried to fit them upon her stiff, wax-coated fingers;
but the gloves were too small and ripped in the seams.
Then she tried another pair, and several others, as
well; but hours passed before she finally succeeded
in getting her hands covered with a pair of pea-green
kids.
Next she selected a parasol from a
large and varied assortment in the rear of the store.
Not that she had any idea what it was used for; but
other ladies carried such things, so she also would
have one.
When she again examined herself critically
in the mirror she decided her outfit was now complete,
and to her inexperienced eyes there was no perceptible
difference between her and the women who had stood
outside the window. Whereupon she tried to leave
the store, but found every door fast locked.
The wax lady was in no hurry.
She inherited patience from her previous existence.
Just to be alive and to wear beautiful clothes was
sufficient enjoyment for her at present. So she
sat down upon a stool and waited quietly until daylight.
When the janitor unlocked the door
in the morning the wax lady swept past him and walked
with stiff but stately strides down the street.
The poor fellow was so completely whuckered at seeing
the well-known wax lady leave her window and march
away from the store that he fell over in a heap and
only saved himself from fainting by striking his funny
bone against the doorstep. When he recovered his
wits she had turned the corner and disappeared.
The wax lady’s immature mind
had reasoned that, since she had come to life, her
evident duty was to mix with the world and do whatever
other folks did. She could not realize how different
she was from people of flesh and blood; nor did she
know she was the first dummy that had ever lived,
or that she owed her unique experience to Tanko-Mankie’s
love of mischief. So ignorance gave her a confidence
in herself that she was not justly entitled to.
It was yet early in the day, and the
few people she met were hurrying along the streets.
Many of them turned into restaurants and eating houses,
and following their example the wax lady also entered
one and sat upon a stool before a lunch counter.
“Coffee ‘n’ rolls!”
said a shop girl on the next stool.
“Coffee ‘n’ rolls!”
repeated the dummy, and soon the waiter placed them
before her. Of course she had no appetite, as
her constitution, being mostly wood, did not require
food; but she watched the shop girl, and saw her put
the coffee to her mouth and drink it. Therefore
the wax lady did the same, and the next instant was
surprised to feel the hot liquid trickling out between
her wooden ribs. The coffee also blistered her
wax lips, and so disagreeable was the experience that
she arose and left the restaurant, paying no attention
to the demands of the waiter for “20 cents, mum.”
Not that she intended to defraud him, but the poor
creature had no idea what he meant by “20 cents,
mum.”
As she came out she met the window
trimmer at Floman’s store. The man was
rather near-sighted, but seeing something familiar
in the lady’s features he politely raised his
hat. The wax lady also raised her hat, thinking
it the proper thing to do, and the man hurried away
with a horrified face.
Then a woman touched her arm and said:
“Beg pardon, ma’am; but
there’s a price-mark hanging on your dress behind.”
“Yes, I know,” replied
the wax lady, stiffly; “it was originally $20,
but it’s been reduced to $19.98.”
The woman looked surprised at such
indifference and walked on. Some carriages were
standing at the edge of the sidewalk, and seeing the
dummy hesitate a driver approached her and touched
his cap.
“Cab, ma’am?” he asked.
“No,” said she, misunderstanding him;
“I’m wax.”
“Oh!” he exclaimed, and looked after her
wonderingly.
“Here’s yer mornin’ paper!”
yelled a newsboy.
“Mine, did you say?” she asked.
“Sure! Chronicle, ’Quirer, R’public
‘n’ ’Spatch! Wot’ll ye
’ave?”
“What are they for?” inquired the wax
lady, simply.
“W’y, ter read, o’ course.
All the news, you know.”
She shook her head and glanced at a paper.
“It looks all speckled and mixed
up,” she said. “I’m afraid I
can’t read.”
“Ever ben to school?” asked the boy,
becoming interested.
“No; what’s school?” she inquired.
The boy gave her an indignant look.
“Say!” he cried, “ye’r
just a dummy, that’s wot ye are!” and ran
away to seek a more promising customer.
“I wonder that he means,”
thought the poor lady. “Am I really different
in some way from all the others? I look like them,
certainly; and I try to act like them; yet that boy
called me a dummy and seemed to think I acted queerly.”
This idea worried her a little, but
she walked on to the corner, where she noticed a street
car stop to let some people on. The wax lady,
still determined to do as others did, also boarded
the car and sat down quietly in a corner.
After riding a few blocks the conductor
approached her and said:
“Fare, please!”
“What’s that?” she inquired, innocently.
“Your fare!” said the man, impatiently.
She stared at him stupidly, trying to think what he
meant.
“Come, come!” growled the conductor, “either
pay up or get off!”
Still she did not understand, and
he grabbed her rudely by the arm and lifted her to
her feet. But when his hand came in contact with
the hard wood of which her arm was made the fellow
was filled with surprise. He stooped down and
peered into her face, and, seeing it was wax instead
of flesh, he gave a yell of fear and jumped from the
car, running as if he had seen a ghost.
At this the other passengers also
yelled and sprang from the car, fearing a collision;
and the motorman, knowing something was wrong, followed
suit. The wax lady, seeing the others run, jumped
from the car last of all, and stepped in front of
another car coming at full speed from the opposite
direction.
She heard cries of fear and of warning
on all sides, but before she understood her danger
she was knocked down and dragged for half a block.
When the car was brought to a stop
a policeman reached down and pulled her from under
the wheels. Her dress was badly torn and soiled.
Her left ear was entirely gone, and the left side of
her head was caved in; but she quickly scrambled to
her feet and asked for her hat. This a gentleman
had already picked up, and when the policeman handed
it to her and noticed the great hole in her head and
the hollow place it disclosed, the poor fellow trembled
so frightfully that his knees actually knocked together.
“Why why, ma’am, you’re
killed!” he gasped.
“What does it mean to be killed?” asked
the wax lady.
The policeman shuddered and wiped
the perspiration from his forehead.
“You’re it!” he answered, with a
groan.
The crowd that had collected were
looking upon the lady wonderingly, and a middle-aged
gentleman now exclaimed:
“Why, she’s wax!”
“Wax!” echoed the policeman.
“Certainly. She’s
one of those dummies they put in the windows,”
declared the middle-aged man.
The people who had collected shouted:
“You’re right!” “That’s
what she is!” “She’s a dummy!”
“Are you?” inquired the policeman, sternly.
The wax lady did not reply. She
began to fear she was getting into trouble, and the
staring crowd seemed to embarrass her.
Suddenly a bootblack attempted to
solve the problem by saying: “You guys
is all wrong! Can a dummy talk? Can a dummy
walk? Can a dummy live?”
“Hush!” murmured the policeman.
“Look here!” and he pointed to the hold
in the lady’s head. The newsboy looked,
turned pale and whistled to keep himself from shivering.
A second policeman now arrived, and
after a brief conference it was decided to take the
strange creature to headquarters. So they called
a hurry-up wagon, and the damaged wax lady was helped
inside and driven to the police station. There
the policeman locked her in a cell and hastened to
tell Inspector Mugg their wonderful story.
Inspector Mugg had just eaten a poor
breakfast, and was not in a pleasant mood; so he roared
and stormed at the unlucky policemen, saying they
were themselves dummies to bring such a fairy tale
to a man of sense. He also hinted that they had
been guilty of intemperance.
The policemen tried to explain, but
Inspector Mugg would not listen; and while they were
still disputing in rushed Mr. Floman, the owner of
the department store.
“I want a dozen detectives,
at once, inspector!” he cried.
“What for?” demanded Mugg.
“One of the wax ladies has escaped
from my store and eloped with a $19.98 costume, a
$4.23 hat, a $2.19 parasol and a 76-cent pair of gloves,
and I want her arrested!”
While he paused for breath the inspector
glared at him in amazement.
“Is everybody going crazy at
the same time?” he inquired, sarcastically.
“How could a wax dummy run away?”
“I don’t know; but she
did. When my janitor opened the door this morning
he saw her run out.”
“Why didn’t he stop her?” asked
Mugg.
“He was too frightened.
But she’s stolen my property, your honor, and
I want her arrested!” declared the storekeeper.
The inspector thought for a moment.
“You wouldn’t be able
to prosecute her,” he said, “for there’s
no law against dummies stealing.”
Mr. Floman sighed bitterly.
“Am I to lose that $19.98 costume and the $4.25
hat and ”
“By no means,” interrupted
Inspector Mugg. “The police of this city
are ever prompt to act in defense of our worthy citizens.
We have already arrested the wax lady, and she is
locked up in cell N. You may go there and
recover your property, if you wish, but before you
prosecute her for stealing you’d better hunt
up a law that applies to dummies.”
“All I want,” said Mr. Floman, “is
that $19.98 costume and ”
“Come along!” interrupted
the policeman. “I’ll take you to the
cell.”
But when they entered N they
found only a lifeless dummy lying prone upon the floor.
Its wax was cracked and blistered, its head was badly
damaged, and the bargain costume was dusty, soiled
and much bedraggled. For the mischief-loving
Tanko-Mankie had flown by and breathed once more upon
the poor wax lady, and in that instant her brief life
ended.
“It’s just as I thought,”
said Inspector Mugg, leaning back in his chair contentedly.
“I knew all the time the thing was a fake.
It seems sometimes as though the whole world would
go crazy if there wasn’t some level-headed man
around to bring ’em to their senses. Dummies
are wood an’ wax, an’ that’s all
there is of ’em.”
“That may be the rule,”
whispered the policeman to himself, “but this
one were a dummy as lived!”