About the middle of the forenoon they
began to go up a long hill. By-and-by this hill
suddenly dropped down into a pretty valley, where
the travelers saw, to their surprise, a small house
standing by the road-side.
It was the first house they had seen,
and they hastened into the valley to discover who
lived there. No one was in sight as they approached,
but when they began to get nearer the house they heard
queer sounds coming from it. They could not
make these out at first, but as they became louder
our friends thought they heard a sort of music like
that made by a wheezy hand-organ; the music fell upon
their ears in this way:
Tiddle-widdle-iddle oom pom-pom!
Oom, pom-pom!
oom, pom-pom!
Tiddle-tiddle-tiddle oom pom-pom!
Oom, pom-pom pah!
“What is it, a band or a mouth-organ?”
asked Dorothy.
“Don’t know,” said Button-Bright.
“Sounds to me like a played-out
phonograph,” said the shaggy man, lifting his
enormous ears to listen.
“Oh, there just couldn’t be a funnygraf
in Fairyland!” cried Dorothy.
“It’s rather pretty, isn’t
it?” asked Polychrome, trying to dance to the
strains.
Tiddle-widdle-iddle, oom pom-pom,
Oom pom-pom; oom
pom-pom!
came the music to their ears, more
distinctly as they drew nearer the house. Presently,
they saw a little fat man sitting on a bench before
the door. He wore a red, braided jacket that
reached to his waist, a blue waistcoat, and white
trousers with gold stripes down the sides. On
his bald head was perched a little, round, red cap
held in place by a rubber elastic underneath his chin.
His face was round, his eyes a faded blue, and he
wore white cotton gloves. The man leaned on a
stout gold-headed cane, bending forward on his seat
to watch his visitors approach.
Singularly enough, the musical sounds
they had heard seemed to come from the inside of the
fat man himself; for he was playing no instrument
nor was any to be seen near him.
They came up and stood in a row, staring
at him, and he stared back while the queer sounds
came from him as before:
Tiddle-iddle-iddle, oom pom-pom,
Oom, pom-pom;
oom pom-pom!
Tiddle-widdle-iddle, oom pom-pom,
Oom, pom-pom pah!
“Why, he’s a reg’lar musicker!”
said Button-Bright.
“What’s a musicker?” asked Dorothy.
“Him!” said the boy.
Hearing this, the fat man sat up a
little stiffer than before, as if he had received
a compliment, and still came the sounds:
Tiddle-widdle-iddle, oom pom-pom,
Oom pom-pom, oom
“Stop it!” cried the shaggy
man, earnestly. “Stop that dreadful noise.”
The fat man looked at him sadly and
began his reply. When he spoke the music changed
and the words seemed to accompany the notes.
He said or rather sang:
It isn’t a noise that you hear,
But Music, harmonic and clear.
My breath makes
me play
Like an organ,
all day
That bass note is in my left ear.
“How funny!” exclaimed
Dorothy; “he says his breath makes the music.”
“That’s all nonsense,”
declared the shaggy man; but now the music began again,
and they all listened carefully.
My lungs are full of reeds like those
In organs, therefore I suppose,
If I breathe in or out my nose,
The reeds are
bound to play.
So as I breathe to live, you know,
I squeeze out music as I go;
I’m very sorry this is so
Forgive my piping,
pray!
“Poor man,” said Polychrome;
“he can’t help it. What a great
misfortune it is!”
“Yes,” replied the shaggy
man; “we are only obliged to hear this music
a short time, until we leave him and go away; but the
poor fellow must listen to himself as long as he lives,
and that is enough to drive him crazy. Don’t
you think so?”
“Don’t know,” said
Button-Bright. Toto said, “Bow-wow!”
and the others laughed.
“Perhaps that’s why he
lives all alone,” suggested Dorothy.
“Yes; if he had neighbors, they
might do him an injury,” responded the shaggy
man.
All this while the little fat musicker
was breathing the notes:
Tiddle-tiddle-iddle, oom, pom-pom,
and they had to speak loud in order
to hear themselves. The shaggy man said:
“Who are you, sir?”
The reply came in the shape of this sing-song:
I’m Allegro da Capo,
a very famous man;
Just find another, high or low, to match
me if you can.
Some people try,
but can’t, to play
And have to practice
every day;
But I’ve been musical always, since
first my life began.
“Why, I b’lieve he’s
proud of it,” exclaimed Dorothy; “and seems
to me I’ve heard worse music than he makes.”
“Where?” asked Button-Bright.
“I’ve forgotten, just
now. But Mr. Da Capo is certainly a
strange person isn’t he? and
p’r’aps he’s the only one of his
kind in all the world.”
This praise seemed to please the little
fat musicker, for he swelled out his chest, looked
important and sang as follows:
I wear no band around me,
And yet I am a
band!
I do not strain to make my strains
But, on the other
hand,
My toot is always destitute
Of flats or other
errors;
To see sharp and be natural are
For me but minor
terrors.
“I don’t quite understand
that,” said Polychrome, with a puzzled look;
“but perhaps it’s because I’m accustomed
only to the music of the spheres.”
“What’s that?” asked Button-Bright.
“Oh, Polly means the atmosphere
and hemisphere, I s’pose,” explained Dorothy.
“Oh,” said Button-Bright.
“Bow-wow!” said Toto.
But the musicker was still breathing his constant
Oom, pom-pom; Oom pom-pom
and it seemed to jar on the shaggy man’s nerves.
“Stop it, can’t you?”
he cried angrily; “or breathe in a whisper; or
put a clothes-pin on your nose. Do something,
anyhow!”
But the fat one, with a sad look, sang this answer:
Music hath charms, and it may
Soothe even the savage, they say;
So if savage you
feel
Just list to my
reel,
For sooth to say that’s the real
way.
The shaggy man had to laugh at this,
and when he laughed he stretched his donkey mouth
wide open. Said Dorothy:
“I don’t know how good
his poetry is, but it seems to fit the notes, so that’s
all that can be ’xpected.”
“I like it,” said Button-Bright,
who was staring hard at the musicker, his little legs
spread wide apart. To the surprise of his companions,
the boy asked this long question:
“If I swallowed a mouth-organ, what would I
be?”
“An organette,” said the
shaggy man. “But come, my dears; I think
the best thing we can do is to continue on our journey
before Button-Bright swallows anything. We must
try to find that Land of Oz, you know.”
Hearing this speech the musicker sang, quickly:
If you go to the Land of Oz
Please take me along, because
On Ozma’s
birthday
I’m anxious
to play
The loveliest song ever was.
“No thank you,” said Dorothy;
“we prefer to travel alone. But if I see
Ozma I’ll tell her you want to come to her birthday
party.”
“Let’s be going,” urged the shaggy
man, anxiously.
Polly was already dancing along the
road, far in advance, and the others turned to follow
her. Toto did not like the fat musicker and
made a grab for his chubby leg. Dorothy quickly
caught up the growling little dog and hurried after
her companions, who were walking faster than usual
in order to get out of hearing. They had to climb
a hill, and until they got to the top they could not
escape the musicker’s monotonous piping:
Oom, pom-pom; oom, pom-pom;
Tiddle-iddle-widdle, oom, pom-pom;
Oom, pom-pom pah!
As they passed the brow of the hill,
however, and descended on the other side, the sounds
gradually died away, whereat they all felt much relieved.
“I’m glad I don’t
have to live with the organ-man; aren’t you,
Polly?” said Dorothy.
“Yes indeed,” answered the Rainbow’s
Daughter.
“He’s nice,” declared Button-Bright,
soberly.
“I hope your Princess Ozma won’t
invite him to her birthday celebration,” remarked
the shaggy man; “for the fellow’s music
would drive her guests all crazy. You’ve
given me an idea, Button-Bright; I believe the musicker
must have swallowed an accordéon in his youth.”
“What’s ’cordeon?” asked the
boy.
“It’s a kind of pleating,” explained
Dorothy, putting down the dog.
“Bow-wow!” said Toto,
and ran away at a mad gallop to chase a bumble-bee.