“You’ll stay to dinner, Cal?” said
Mr. Sim.
“Calvin, you’ll eat dinner with us?”
cried Mr. Sam.
Calvin Parks looked at Miss Sands,
and saw hospitality beaming in her face.
“Thank ye, Sim;” he said,
“I’m obliged to you, Sam; I’ll stay
with pleasure, Miss Hands!”
It was a singular meal. Mary
Sands sat at the head of the table, with all the dishes
before her, and helped the three men largely to the
excellent boiled dinner. Calvin Parks faced her
at the foot, and the twins sat on either side.
They talked cheerfully with their visitor and Miss
Sands, but did not address each other directly.
Calvin remarked upon the excellence
of the beef. “Fancy brisket, ain’t
it?” he asked.
“Yes!” replied Mr. Sim.
“It’s the best cut on the critter for cornin’.”
Mr. Sam looked at his cousin.
“Tell him I don’t agree with him!”
he said.
“Cousin Sim, Cousin Sam don’t
agree with you!” said Mary Sands placidly.
“Tell him the aitch bone is
better!” continued Mr. Sam with some heat.
“He says the aitch bone is better!” repeated
Mary Sands.
“Tell him it ain’t!” said Mr. Sim.
“Cousin Sim says it ain’t,
Cousin Sam,” said Mary, “and that’s
enough on the subject.”
She spoke with calm and cheerful authority;
the twins glowered at the corned beef in silence.
“Speakin’ of critters,”
said Calvin Parks hastily, “how many head are
you carryin’ now, boys?”
There was no reply. Looking at
Miss Sands, her eyes directed his glance to Mr. Sam.
“How many head are you carryin’, Sam?”
he repeated.
“Twenty!” replied Mr. Sam.
“That’s a nice herd,” said Calvin.
“Hereford, be they?”
“Holstein!” said Sam.
“They’re the best milkers, and the best
beef critters too.”
Mr. Sim looked at Mary Sands with
kindling eyes. “Tell him it ain’t
so!” he said. “Tell him he knows
better!”
“Cousin Sim says it ain’t
so, and you know better, Cousin Sam,” said Mary
Sands.
“Tell him he knows wuss!” grunted Mr.
Sam.
“Cousin Sam says you know wuss,
Cousin Sim, and that will do!” said Mary Sands
quietly.
It was the same at dessert. Calvin
praised the admirable quality of the pie.
“Now this,” he said, “is
my idée of a squash pie. It isn’t slickin’
up and tryin’ to look like custard, nor yet
it don’t make believe it’s pumpkin; it
just says, ’I am a squash pie, and if there’s
a better article you may let me know.’”
“I’m real pleased you
like it,” said Mary Sands modestly; “it’s
Cousin Lucindy’s recipe. She must have
been a master hand at pies.”
“She certinly was!” said
Mr. Sam. “Squash and pumpkin and cranberry,
Ma was fust-rate in all; but mince was her best holt.”
“Tell him it warn’t,”
said Mr. Sim, fixing his cousin with a burning eye.
“Tell him her apple bet it holler.”
“Cousin Sim says it warn’t,
Cousin Sam, and her apple bet it holler,” repeated
Mary Sands cheerfully.
“Tell him he’s a turnip-head!” said
Mr. Sam.
“I don’t repeat no calling
names,” said Mary Sands. “Mr. Parks,
will you have some more of the pie? Cousin Sam,
another piece? Cousin Sim? well, then, the meal
is finished, Cousins!”
Each twin, as he rose from the table,
cast a glance of invitation at Calvin Parks; but he
hastily seized a dish. “I’m going
to help Miss Hands clear off,” he said; and
he followed Mary Sands into the kitchen.
“Oh! Mr. Parks,”
said Mary, “you no need to do that! I’m
well used to washing dishes!”
“I should suppose you was,”
responded Calvin Parks gallantly, “but if you’ll
let me help, Miss Hands, it would be an accommodation,
now it would. Fact is,” he continued, “I
expect I shall bust if I don’t find out what
this all means, and I want you to tell me. How
long have the boys been actin’ this way?”
“How long?” repeated Mary
Sands. “Ever since I come. Haven’t
they always been so?”
“Always been so?” repeated
Calvin Parks. “Why, Miss Hands why ”
he looked about him helplessly. “Well,
I am blowed!” he said plaintively. “I’ll
have to ask you to excuse the expression, Miss Hands,
but I really am! Perhaps I’d better tell
you how things used to be in this house, and then
you can see how how blowed I am at findin’
them as they be.”
“I should be real pleased if
you would!” said Mary Sands. “I’ve
been wonderin’ and wonderin’, ever since
I come, but there’s no near neighbors, you know,
and I don’t know as I should have cared to ask
’em if there had been; but you are a friend
of both, I see, and it seems different.”
“I’ll wash to your wipin’,”
said Calvin Parks, taking off his coat and rolling
up his shirt sleeves, “and we can talk as we
go; I’m an old hand at dishes too. Well!
Friend of both? well, I should remark! I lived
on the next ro’d, not more’n half a mile
across lots. You might have seen a burnt cellar
hole? Well, that was our home. First
I remember of Sam and Sim was them sittin’ together
in their chair. ’Twas a queer chair, made
o’ purpose to hold the two of ’em.
There they set, and tell ’tother from which
was more than I could do, or anybody else for that
matter, except their Ma. They might ha’
been nine then, and I s’pose I was four or five.
I rec’lect I went up to ’em and says, ‘Be
you one boy cut in two?’ Cur’us things
children are, sure enough. They was dressed alike,
then and always; fed alike, and reared alike, every
human way of it. Doctored alike, too, poor young
ones! One time when they was babies the wrong
one got the medicine, and after that Ma Sills always
dosed ’em both, whichever was sick. ‘There’s
goin’ to be no partiality!’ she says; ’the
Lord made them children off the same last, and they’re
goin’ to stay the same!’ Why, Miss Hands,
she wouldn’t so much as allow they could think
different. If they got to scrappin’, same
as all boys do, y’know, Ma would take ’em
by the scruff of their necks and haul ’em up
to the looking-glass. ‘Look at there!’
she’d say. ’Do you see them boys?
do you see the way they look? Now I give you
to understand that your souls inside is just as much
alike as your bodies outside. I ain’t sure
but it’s two halves of the same soul,’
she’d say, ’and do you think I’m
goin’ to let ’em quarrel? You make
up and love each other pretty right away, or I’ll
take the back of the hairbrush to you both!’
“So they’d make up; they
had to! There! Ma Sills certinly did rule
the roost, and no mistake. She’d been a
widder ever since the boys were a year old, so she
had to do for herself and them, and she done it.
She was a master hand; a master hand!”
He shook his head, and washed the platter vigorously.
“Did it keep on that way after they grew up?”
asked Mary Sands.
“Did it?” repeated Calvin.
“Yes, it did! Neither one of ’em could
stand against their Ma. Folks thought the boys
would marry, and that would break it up like, but
Ma wouldn’t have that. ’When I find
two girls as much alike as they is boys,’ she’d
say, ‘we’ll talk about gettin’ married;
till then they’re wife enough for each other.’
“That was when Sam was takin’
notice of Ivy Bell. She was a girl from Vermont,
come visitin’ Ammi Bean’s folks; her
mother was sister to Ammi. She was a pretty,
slim little creatur’, and I expect Sam thought
she was all creation for a spell; but she never could
tell him from Sim, and Sim didn’t take to her
no way, shape or manner. That suited their Ma
first rate, and she’d take a day when Sam was
off to market, and then she’d send Sim on an
errant down to Bean’s. I rec’lect
I was there one day when he come, I guess
I was some taken with Ivy myself, for she was a pretty
piece. When she see him she begun to roll her
eyes and simper up the way gals do I ask
your pardon, Miss Hands! I don’t mean all
gals, nor I shouldn’t want you to think it.”
“Thank you, Mr. Parks!” said Mary demurely;
“I won’t!”
“Well, she did,” said
Calvin; “no two ways about that. ‘Good
mornin’, Mr. Sills,’ she says, ‘was
you wishin’ to see anyone?’
“‘Yes!’ says Sim, ‘I want
to see Mr. Bean.’
“‘He’s down in the
medder,’ says Ivy; and then she kind o’
hung down her head and looked up at him sideways.
’I don’t suppose there’s anyone else
would do instead, Mr. Sills?’
“‘No, there ain’t!’
says Sim; and off he legged it to the medder.”
“My!” said Mary Sands, “What did
she say to that?”
“Why, I snickered right out
in meetin’,” said Calvin. “I
just couldn’t help it; and she was so mad she
whisked into the house and slammed the door in my
face, and that was the last I saw of Ivy.
“But next time poor old Sam
come along, slicked up for courtin’, with his
heart in his vest pocket all ready to hand out, why,
he got the door in his face, too, and had to start
in all over again. Well, sir I beg
your pardon, ma’am, or I should rather say miss that
was pretty much the way things was when I quit home,
and that was pretty much the way I expected to find
’em when I come back. It didn’t seem
as if a trifle of fifteen years was going to make
much difference in Ma Sill, nor yet in Sam and Sim;
they seemed sort of permanent, don’t you know,
like the old well-sweep, or the big willows.
I s’pose when Ma was laid away the boys commenced
to feel as if they was two minds as well as two bodies.
You don’t know what started them actin’
this way?”
Miss Sands reflected a moment.
“I shouldn’t be surprised,” she
said, “if it was their vests.”
“Their vests?” repeated Calvin.
“Yes! You noticed Cousin
Sam had on a red one and Cousin Sim a black one?
Well but suppose I tell you my end of it,
Mr. Parks, just as it come to me.”
“I should be fairly pleased
to death if you would!” said Calvin Parks.
“That’s what I’ve been layin’
for right along. Yes, I spotted them vests first
thing, I guess it’s the first stitch ever they
had on that was anyways different. Well! you
was going to say?”
Mary Sands was silent a moment, gazing
thoughtfully at the blue platter she held.
“I’m a lone woman!”
she said at last. “I was an only child,
and parents died when I was but young. I’ve
kept house these ten years for my uncle over to Tupham
Corners. He was a widower with one son, and a
real good man; like a father to me, he was. Last
year he died, and left the farm to Reuben, that
was his son, and the schooner, a coasting
schooner he was owner of, to me. I expect he
thought ” she paused, and a bright
color crept into her warm brown cheek; “well,”
she continued, “anyhow, Reuben and I didn’t
hit it off real well, and I left. I was staying
with friends when a letter come from Cousins statin’
their Ma had passed away and would I come to keep
house for them. I’d never visited here,
but Cousin Lucindy was own cousin to my mother, and
we’d met at conference and like that, but yet
I’d never seen the boys. Well, I thought
about it a spell, and I thought I’d come and
try, and if we suited, well and good, and if not there’d
be no bones broke. So I packed up and come over
by the stage. Well!”
She stopped to laugh, a little mellow
tinkling laugh. “I guess I sha’n’t
forget my first sight of Cousins. I come up the
steps kind of quiet. The door stood open, and
I knocked and waited a minute, hearin’ voices;
then I stepped inside the hall. The front sittin’-room
door was open too, and Cousins was standin’
back to it, them same brown backs, each one the other
over again, and one of them was holdin’ a red
vest in each hand. I coughed, but they didn’t
hear me, and he went right on speakin’.
“‘Ma bought this red flannel
at the bankrupt sale,’ he said. ’She
allowed ’twould keep us in vests and her in petticuts
and thro’t bandages for ten years, and I’m
not going to begin to waste the minute she’s
under ground. She would say, “you go on
wearin’ them vests!” and I’m goin’
to.’
“‘She wouldn’t!’
said the other. ‘She’d say, “you
go on wearin’ the coat and pants, but if you
are in mournin’ for me, show it by puttin’
on a black vest, as is no more than decent."’
“‘I can mourn just as
well in red flannel as what I can in black!’
says the first one.
“‘You can’t!’ says the other.
“‘I’ll show you whether I can or
not!’ says the first.
“And at that they turned face
to face to each other and sideways to me, and each
riz up his right arm honest, Mr. Parks,
I couldn’t believe but ’twas the same
person and him reflected in a mirror, they was so
like. I thought they was goin’ to strike
each other, so I stepped forward and said, ‘Good
mornin’, Cousins; I’ve come!’”
Again she tinkled a laugh. “You
never see men more surprised than what they was; but
they shook hands real pleasant, made me welcome, and
then walked one off one way and one the other, and
so it has remained. At first they wanted to eat
in different rooms, but I told ’em I couldn’t
have that, nor yet I couldn’t have no quarrellin’,
so now we get on real pleasant, as you see. But
isn’t it comical? There! when I see them ”
At this moment a prolonged cough was
heard from the direction of the sitting-room; and
at the same time a thin high voice called, “Calvin!
you got lost, or what?”
“Cousins are gettin’ uneasy!”
said Mary Sands. “You’d best go in,
Mr. Parks, and I’m a thousand times obliged
to you for helpin’ me with the dishes.
You are an elegant washer, I must say.”
“Miss Hands,” replied
Calvin Parks as he drew on his coat, “the man
who wouldn’t wash good to such wipin’
as yours wouldn’t deserve to eat out of a dish.
The thanks is on my side for enjoyin’ the privilege.”