“Cal!” said Mr. Sim.
“Wall!” said Calvin Parks.
“That’s poetry, Sim, or as nigh to it as
you and me are likely to come.”
“Quit foolin’, Cal! I want to speak
to you serious.”
“Fire away!” said Calvin,
leaning back in his chair and stretching his long
legs.
“I want to know what you think
of Cousin!” Mr. Sim went on.
Calvin sat up, and drew in his legs.
“She’s all right!” he said shortly.
“Of course she’s all right!”
said Mr. Sim peevishly. “She wouldn’t
be here if she was all wrong, would she? I want
to know what you think of her.”
“I think she’s a fine-appearin’
woman!” said Calvin slowly. “And smart.
And personable. A 1, clipper-built and copper-fastened,
is the way I should describe your cousin if she was
a vessel.”
“You’re right, Cal; you’re
right!” said Mr. Sim. “She’s
all that and more. She’s agreeable, and
she’s capable, and she’s savin’,
Calvin; savin’. Ma allers said,
’If the time comes when you have to marry,
marry a saver!’ she’d say.”
Calvin said nothing. He felt
the honest middle-aged blood mounting in his cheeks,
but reflected comfortably that it would not show through
the brown.
“Now, Cal,” Mr. Sim went
on; “a woman like that ain’t goin’
through life single.”
“You bet she ain’t!”
said Calvin briefly; “you darned old weasel!”
he added, but not aloud.
“She ain’t no more than
forty, and she don’t look that. She’s
well fixed, too; she ain’t no need to work,
Cousin ain’t; she come here to accommodate,
you understand.”
“I understand!” said Calvin;
“you blamed old ferret!” Calvin was fond
of finishing his sentences in silence.
“Now what I say is, ”
and Mr. Sim leaned forward, and sank his voice to
a whisper, “What I say is, that woman
ought not to go out of the family, Calvin Parks!”
Calvin grunted. A grunt may mean
anything, and Mr. Sim took it for assent.
“Jes’ so! That’s
what I’m sayin’. I knew you’d
see it that way. Now, Calvin, I want you to help
us.”
A spark came into Calvin’s brown
eyes. “Help you!” he repeated.
“What’s the matter? Ain’t you
old enough to speak for yourself?”
“Not for myself, Calvin!”
cried Mr. Sim. “No, no, no! for Sam’l!
for Sam’l!”
“Well, I am blowed!” said Calvin Parks.
Mr. Sim leaned forward anxiously.
“Don’t you see, Cal?” he cried.
“I ain’t a marryin’ man; that’s
plain to be seen. Sam’l was allers
the one for the gals, you know he was. You remember
Ivy Bell?”
Calvin nodded.
“Well, that’s the way
of it!” Mr. Sim continued. “His mind
allers run that way; mine didn’t.
Besides, I ain’t a well man; I ain’t in
no shape to marry, Calvin, no way in the world, if
I wanted to, and I don’t. Now, Calvin,
I want you to kind of urge Sam’l on. We
ain’t speakin’, Sam’l and me, you
know that. I told you how ’twas, fust time
you come round. Nothin’ agin one another,
only we don’t like. So I can’t urge
him myself; and fust thing we know some outlandishman
or other’ll step in and kerry her off, and then
where should we be, Sam’l and me? I ask
you that, Calvin Parks. We’re gettin’
on, you know, Cal; we’re five years good older
than what you be, and we couldn’t abide hired
help, no way in the world. You urge Sam’l
on to speak to Cousin, won’t you now? I’d
take it real friendly of you, Cal. I allers
thought a sight of you, and so did Ma. ’Twould
please Ma if you got a good woman for Sam’l,
Cal. Say you’ll think about it!”
“I’ll think about it!” said Calvin
Parks.
An hour later, Calvin was out in the
barnyard, leaning over the pigsty, and looking at
the finest hogs in the county. Mr. Sam pronounced
them so, and he ought to know, Calvin thought.
Calvin had never cared for hogs himself.
“You see them hawgs,”
said Mr. Sam with squeaking enthusiasm, “and
you see the best there is. Take ’em for
looks, or heft, or eatin’, there’s no
hawgs can touch ’em in this county. I’ll
go further and say State. They’re a lovely
hawg, sir! that’s what they are; lovely!”
“All black, be they?”
asked Calvin, for the sake of saying something.
“All black!” said Mr.
Sam. “I bought ’em off’n Reuben
Hutch. They was Cousin’s choice in the
fust place. She likes ’em black; says they
look cleaner, and I guess they do. I don’t
know as you’ve remarked it, Cal, but I think
a sight of Cousin.”
He cast a sly glance at Calvin, who
again returned inward thanks for the solid brown of
his cheeks.
“I should s’pose you might!” he
said shortly.
“A sight!” repeated Mr.
Sam emphatically. “You show me a smarter
woman than that, Calvin Parks, and I’ll show
you a toad with three tails.”
He paused, as if waiting for Calvin
to avail himself of this handsome offer.
“Well!” said Calvin, rather
morosely. “I ain’t got no smarter
woman to show. What are you drivin’ at,
Sam Sill?”
Mr. Sam’s little eyes were twinkling,
and his sharp features were twisting themselves into
knots which were anything but becoming.
“Calvin,” he said, “when
I look at that young woman at least not
exactly young, but a sight younger than some, and all
the better for it what word do you think
I use to myself?”
“I don’t know!” said Calvin shortly.
Mr. Sam leaned back, and expanded his red flannel
waistcoat.
“Take time, Cal!” he said
kindly. “Find a good solid-soundin’
word suitable to the occasion, and spit it out!”
“Look at here!” said Calvin,
still more shortly. “I come out here to
see your hogs, and I’ve seen ’em.
I didn’t come out to play guessin’ games;
if you’ve got anything to say to me, say it!
If not, I’m goin’ home.”
Mr. Sam leaned forward, and poked
Calvin in the ribs with a skinny forefinger.
“Matrimony’s the word,
Cal!” he said. “Holy matrimony!
Ain’t that a good word? ain’t it suitable?
ain’t it what you might call providential? ain’t
it? hey?” He paused for a reply; but none coming,
he went on.
“I made use of that word, Calvin,
the fust time Cousin stepped across our thrishhold,
four months back; and I’ve ben makin’
use of it every day since then. Now, Cal, I want
you to help me!”
“Help you!” repeated Calvin, mechanically.
“Help me!” repeated Mr.
Sam. “If you can help me to bring about
matrimony between Cousin and Simeon, ”
“What!” said Calvin Parks.
Mr. Sam stared. “Between
Cousin and Simeon!” he repeated. “What
did you think I said? You could be of assistance
to me, Calvin. You know Sim and me ain’t
havin’ any dealin’s jest at present, and
direckly you come along I says to myself, ‘Calvin,’
I says, ’is the one who can be of assistance
to me.’”
“I thought ‘twas you was
goin’ to marry her!” said Calvin grimly.
“Me, Cal? no! no! What
put that into your head?” and Mr. Sam screwed
his features afresh, and shook his head emphatically.
“I admire Cousin, none more so; but if I was
marryin’, and I don’t say but
I shall, some day, I should look out for
something jest a mite more stylish. But there’s
plenty of time, plenty of time. Besides, I want
to travel, Calvin. I want to see something of
the world. Here I’ve sot all my days, and
never ben further than Bangor. Ma never held
with the notion of folks goin’ out of the State
of Maine. ’If folks want to go to Massachusetts,’
she’d say, ‘they’d orter be born
there.’ Now, no disrespect to Ma, you understand,
Cal, but that ain’t my idée. I want
to go to Boston, and maybe New York. I dono
but I might go out west and locate there. But
there’s the farm, you see, Cal, and there’s
Simeon. Sim ain’t a man that’s fit
to travel, nor yet he ain’t able to see to things
as should be. But if he and Cousin was man and
wife, don’t you see, the two of ’em could
get on fust-rate, and I could go off. You see
how ’tis, Calvin, don’t you?”
Calvin Parks turned upon him with a flash.
“What makes you think she’d
be seen dead with either one of you two squinny old
lobsters?” he asked fiercely.
Mr. Sam stared again.
“A woman, Calvin, wants a home!”
he said solemnly. “Anybody can see that.
Cousin has money in the bank, and she’s owner
of a schooner, but she has no home. I expect
she’d have married Reuben if he’d been
anyways agreeable to marry. He expected
she would, sure as shootin’; lotted on it, they
say. But take a man with one eye and that rollin’,
and snug, and a bad disposition, why, it ain’t
no great of an outlook for a woman, even if the farm
was better than it is. Anyways, she wouldn’t
look at him, and that’s how she come here.
Now here,” he waved his hand in a
circle. “Look around you, Calvin Parks!
Where is she goin’ to find a home like this?
for stock, or for truck, or for sightliness, there
ain’t its ekal in the county. There ain’t
its ekal in the State. Now, Cal, I’m a
fair-minded man. A woman brought this farm up
to what it is. Ma done it, sir! I don’t
say but Sim and me done our best since we growed up,
but Ma done the heft on’t, and it needs a woman
now. It needs a woman, Calvin, and Cousin needs
a home; and I’m of the opinion that she won’t
get such a bad bargain, even with Simeon thrown in.
There’s no harm in Simeon, Cal, not a mite!”
“Not a mite!” Calvin echoed mechanically.
“Now,” Mr.
Sam drew himself up, and tapped Calvin on the shoulder.
“I want you to help me, Calvin Parks!”
Calvin growled, but a growl may mean
anything. Mr. Sam took it for assent.
“That’s right!”
he said. “That’s it, Calvin.
You talk to Cousin, and tell her about the farm, and
kinder throw in a word for Sim now and then.
Why, he’s a real good fellow, Sim is, when he
ain’t a darned fool. They’d get on
fust-rate. And you talk to him, too, when she’s
out of the way! Tell him he needs a woman of
his own, and like that. Mebbe you might drop
a hint about my goin’ away, if you see a good
openin’; why, you’re jest the one to make
a match, with your pleasant ways, kind o’ jokin’
and cheerful. Make her feel as if she wanted a
man of her own, too. Think about it, Cal!
Say you’ll think about it!”
“I’ll think about it!” said Calvin
Parks.