“But that ain’t the end
of the story, Miss Hands!” said Calvin Parks,
after telling as much as he thought proper of the foregoing
events. “That ain’t the end.
This mornin’ I stopped down along a piece to
wish Merry Christmas to Aaron Tarbox’s folks,
and I left hossy standin’ while I ran into the
house. I stayed longer than I intended you
know how ’tis when there’s children hangin’
round and when I come out, you may call
me mate to a mud-scow if there warn’t a feller
with his head and shoulders clear inside the back
of my cart. I can’t tell you how, but some
way of it, it come over me in a flash who the feller
was. I don’t know as ever I moved quicker
in my life. I had him by the scruff of his neck
and the slack of his pants, and out of that and standin’
on his head in a snow-drift before he could have winked
more than once, certin.
“‘Have you got three ones
and a two,’ I says, ‘belongin’ to
a lady as sits in a cart, ’bout four mile from
here? ’cause if you have, and was keepin’
them for the owner, I’ll save you the trouble,’
I says. He couldn’t answer real well, his
head bein’ in the drift, so I went through his
pockets, and sure enough there they was, three ones
and a two, just as she said.”
“My goodness!” cried Mary Sands.
“What did you do?”
“Well, I give him his Christmas
present, a good solid one, that’ll last him
a sight longer than the money would have, and then
I hove him back into the drift to cool off a spell, he
was some warm, and so was I, and come along.
So now I’ve got the money, and that lady can
rest easy in her mind; only I’ve got to let
her know. Now, Miss Hands, I’m no kind
of a hand at writin’ letters; I’ve been
studyin’ all the way along the ro’d how
to tell that lady that she ain’t owin’
me a cent; and I don’t know as I’ve hit
it off real good.”
He felt in his pockets, and produced
a scrap of paper; with an anxious eye on Mary Sands,
he read aloud as follows.
“Dear Ma’am; I
got that money and give the feller one instead, so
no more and received payment
from yours respy C. Parks.”
“How’s that, Miss Hands? Will it
do, think?”
Mary’s eyes twinkled. “It’s
short and sweet, Mr. Parks,” she said; “it
tells the story, certin, though I don’t doubt
but she’d be pleased to hear more from you.”
“That’s all I’ve
got to say!” said Calvin simply; “I’m
glad to get it off my mind. How’s the boys
this morning?”
“That’s why I made an
errand out here before you went into the house!”
said Mary Sands.
They were sitting in the harness-room,
she in the chair, he on the bucket. There was
a fire in the stove, and the place was full of the
pleasant smell of warm leather. Their speech was
punctuated by the stamping and neighing of the brown
horse, the young colt, the old horse of all, the mare,
and Old John, in the stable adjoining.
Mary Sands’ hazel eyes were
full of a half-humorous anxiety.
“I wanted to talk to you a little
about Cousins!” she said. “They’ve
been actin’ real strange the past week, ever
since you was here last. Honest, I don’t
believe they’ve thought of one single thing besides
each other. Werryin’ and frettin’
and watchin’ I’m ’most
worn out with ’em. There! if it warn’t
so comical I should cry, and if it warn’t so
pitiful I should laugh. That’s just the
way I feel about it, Mr. Parks.”
“Sho!” said Calvin sympathetically.
“I don’t wonder at it, Miss Hands, not
a mite. They haven’t got round to speakin’
to each other yet, I s’pose?”
Mary shook her head. “No!”
she said. “They want to, I’m sure
of that, but yet neither one of ’em will speak
first. Such foolishness I never did see.
Now take yesterday! Cousin Sam went to town, and
Cousin Sim werried every single minute he was gone.
The mare was skittish, and the harness might break,
and he might meet the cars, and I don’t know
what all. If he called me off my work once he
did a dozen times, till I thought I should fly.
By the time Cousin Sam got back he was all worn out,
and soon as he heard him safe in the house he dropped
off asleep in his chair. Well! then ’twas
all to do over again with Cousin Sam. How had
Simeon been, and what had he been doin’ while
he was gone, and didn’t I think he had a bad
color at breakfast? Then Cousin Sim begun to
snore, and Cousin Sam would have it that ‘twarn’t
natural snorin’, and he must be in a catamouse
condition.”
“What did he mean by that?” asked Calvin.
“That’s what he said!”
Mary replied. “It’s a medical term,
but I don’t know as he got it just right.
It means sleepin’ kind of heavy and unhealthy,
I understand. ‘Well,’ I says, ’Cousin
Sam, just you step here and look at Cousin Sim!’
So he did, and see him sound asleep with his mouth
open, lookin’ peaceful as a fish. He stood
and looked at him a spell, and I see his mouth begin
to work. ‘There’s nothin’ catamouse
about that sleep, Cousin!’ I says. ’There
couldn’t a baby sleep easier than what he is.’
He shakes his head mournful. ’Simeon’s
aged terrible since Ma went,’ he says.
He stood there lookin’ at him a spell longer,
and then he give a kind of groan and went back to his
own chair.
“Now, Mr. Parks, it’s
time this foolishness was put a stop to.”
“That’s right!”
said Calvin Parks. “That’s so, Miss
Hands. I believe you’ve got a plan to stop
it, too.”
“I have!” said Mary Sands.
“I’ve been studyin’ it out while
I was settin’ here waitin’ for you.
This is Christmas Day, Mr. Parks; and if you’ll
help me, I believe we can bring it about to-day.
Will you?”
“Will I?” said Calvin Parks. “Will
a dog bark?”
“Merry Christmas, Sam!” said Calvin Parks.
“Same to you, Calvin, same to
you!” said Mr. Sam. “Come in! come
in! Shet the door after you, will ye?”
Calvin shut the door into the entry.
Mr. Sam glanced about him uneasily.
“You might shet the other too,
if you don’t mind!” he said. “Thank
ye! Have you seen Simeon this mornin’,
Calvin?”
“Not yet,” said Calvin.
“I come straight in the front door and in here.
What’s the matter? Ain’t he all right?”
“Simeon is failin’!”
replied Mr. Sam. “He’s failin’
right along, Calvin. I expect this is the last
Christmas he’ll see on earth. I I
was down street yesterday,” he added, after
a solemn pause, “and it occurred to me he hadn’t
had a new pair of slippers for a dog’s age.
I thought I’d get a pair, and mebbe you’d
give ’em to him.”
“Mebbe I’d stand on my
head!” retorted Calvin. “Give ’em
to him yourself, you old catnip!”
“No! no, Calvin! no! no!
I’d ruther you would!” said Mr. Sam anxiously.
“I’d take it real friendly if you would,
sir!”
“Well, we’ll see!”
said Calvin. “Hello! dressed up for Christmas,
be ye?”
Mr. Sam looked down in some embarrassment.
His red flannel waistcoat was replaced by a black
one.
“We never made so much of Christmas
as some,” he said; “but yet Ma allers
had us dress up for Christmas dinner, and I thought
this seemed a mite more dress, you understand, Calvin.
What say?”
“Looks first-rate!” said
Calvin cheerfully. “You don’t look
a mite worse than you did before, as I see. Now
I guess I’ll step in and pass the time of day
with Sim.”
“Hold on jest a minute!”
said Mr. Sam anxiously. “Hold on jest a
half a minute, Cal! That ain’t all I was
wishful to say to you. Have you I
would say have you approached that subject
we was speakin’ of a while back, to Cousin?”
“What subject?” said Calvin Parks doggedly.
“Don’t be cantankerous,
Calvin! now don’t!” said Mr. Sam.
“It’s Christmas Day. The subject
of matrimony, you know.”
“I have!” said Calvin.
“She won’t look at him! She wouldn’t
look at him if the only other man in the world was
Job Toothaker’s scarecrow, that scared the seeds
under ground so they never came up. There’s
your answer!”
“Dear me sirs!” cried
Mr. Sam, wringing his hands. “Dear me sirs!
I don’t know what’s goin’ to become
of us, Calvin, I reelly don’t!”
“Well!” said Calvin; “I
guess likely you’ll werry through the day, Sam.
I know what’s goin’ to become of me; I’m
goin’ in to see Sim.”
“Take the slippers, won’t
ye, Calvin?” cried Mr. Sam. “Tell
him to wear ’em and save his boots. He’s
allers ben terrible hard on shoe-leather,
Simeon has.”
Calvin took the slippers with a grunt,
and went into the next room, closing the door after
him.
“Merry Christmas!” he cried. “How
are you, Sim?”
“I’m obliged to you, Calvin;
I am slim!” replied Mr. Sim. “I am
unusual slim, sir. Take a seat, won’t you?”
“I said Merry Christmas!”
Calvin remarked gruffly. “Can’t you
speak up in the way of the season? Come, buck
up, old timothy-grass! Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!” echoed
Mr. Sim meekly; “though if your laigs was as
bad as mine, Calvin, you might think different.
If I get through this winter what you got
there?”
“Slippers!” said Calvin.
“Christmas present from Sam. Wants you to
wear ’em and save shoe-leather.”
“The failin’s of Sam’l’s
mind,” said Mr. Sim gravely, “are growin’
on him ekal to those of his body. Shoe-leather!
when I ain’t stepped foot outside the door since
Ma died. But they are handsome, certin; you may
thank him for me, Calvin.”
“May!” said Calvin.
“That’s a sweet privilege, no two ways
about that. Hello! what in Tunkett ”
he stopped, abruptly, staring. “Splice my
halyards if you haven’t got a red one!”
Mr. Sim glanced down with shy pride at his waistcoat.
“Christmas Day, you know, Calvin!”
he said. “We allers made some little
change in our dress, sir, for Christmas dinner.
I thought ’twould please Ma, and Cousin, and and
the other one, too!” he added, with a furtive
glance toward the door.
“Well, I am blowed!” said
Calvin Parks plaintively. “I certinly am
this time. You boys is too much for me.”
Mr. Sim coughed modestly, and cast
another coy glance at the red waistcoat. “How
is poor Sam’l this mornin’, Calvin?”
he asked mournfully. “Do you find him changed
much of any?”
“I do not!” said Calvin.
“He’s just about as handsome, and just
about as takin’ as he was last time, fur as
I see.”
“Ah!” sighed Mr. Sim.
“You don’t see below the surface, Cal.”
“Nor don’t wish to!”
retorted Calvin. “That’s quite sufficient
for me.”
“I’ve got the feelin’
in my bones,” Mr. Sim went on, “that somethin’
is goin’ to happen to Sam’l, Calvin.
He’s that reckless, sir, I look ’most
any day to see him brought home a mangled remain.
Call it a warnin’, or what you will, I believe
it’s comin’. I hear him cuttin’
round them corners, and reshin’ in and out the
yard with them wild hosses, ”
“Wild hosses!” repeated
Calvin Parks. “Sim Sill, you feel in your
pants pocket, won’t you, and see if you can’t
scare up some wits, just a mite. Old John is
thirty if he’s a day, and the old hoss of all well,
nobody knows how old he is, beyond that he’ll
never see forty again. The mare has been here
ever since I can remember, or pretty nigh, and your
Ma bought the young colt before ever I went to sea.
Now talk about wild hosses!”
“It ain’t their age, Cal,
it’s their natur’!” responded Mr.
Sim with dignity. “That mare, sir, has
never ben stiddy, nor yet will she ever so be,
in my opinion.”
“Well!” said Calvin Parks.
“I’ll tell him next time he goes to market,
tie her to the well-sweep and walk; you don’t
cal’late his legs would up and run away with
him, do ye? Now I’m goin’ to help
Miss Hands dish up dinner.”
“Hold on, Calvin! hold on jest
a minute!” cried Mr. Sim anxiously. “I’ve
got a little present I’d like for you to give
Sam’l from me, sir. It’s ”
he got up, shuffled across the room, and opened a cupboard
door. “It’s something he’s
allers coveted.”
Fumbling in a box, he took out an
ancient seal of red carnelian, and rubbed it lovingly
on his coat-sleeve.
“Belonged to Uncle Sim Penny,”
he said. “Ma give it to me, on accounts
of me bein’ his name-son; I don’t know
as ever I’ve used it, or likely to, and Sam’l
has always coveted it. You give that to Sam’l,
Calvin, will you?”
“Oh molasses!” said Calvin
impatiently. “Give it to him yourself, you
ridic’lous old object!”
“No! no, Calvin! no, no, sir!”
cried Mr. Sim piteously. “We don’t
speak, you know; we we’ve lost the
habit of it, and we’re too old to ketch holt
of it again. You give it to him, Cal, like a good
feller! And and there’s another
thing, Calvin. Did you have any dealin’s
with Cousin about what we was speakin’ of some
time along back, in regards to Sam’l?”
“I did!” said Calvin Parks.
“Well well, Cal,
what did she say?” Mr. Sim leaned forward anxiously.
“Was she anyways favorable, sir?”
“She was not!” replied
Calvin. “She give me to understand not
in so many words, but that was the sense of it, that
she’d full as soon marry a cucumber-wood pump
as him, or you either. So there you have it!”
“Dear me!” cried Mr. Sim;
and he wrung his hands with the identical gesture
that Mr. Sam had made. “Dear me sirs! what
is to become of us, Calvin?”
“Dinner is ready, Cousin Sim!”
said Mary Sands, putting her head in at the door.
“Cousin Sam, dinner’s ready! Merry
Christmas to you, Mr. Parks, and pleased to see you!”