“This little pig went to market:
This little pig staid at home.”
“By Her Radiancy’s express
command,” said the Governor, as he conducted
the travellers, for the last time, from the Imperial
presence, “I shall now have the ecstasy of escorting
you as far as the outer gate of the Military Quarter,
where the agony of parting if indeed Nature
can survive the shock must be endured!
From that gate grurmstipths start every quarter of
an hour, both ways ”
“Would you mind repeating that
word?” said Norman. “Grurm ?”
“Grurmstipths,” the Governor
repeated. “You call them omnibuses in England.
They run both ways, and you can travel by one of them
all the way down to the harbour.”
The old man breathed a sigh of relief;
four hours of courtly ceremony had wearied him, and
he had been in constant terror lest something should
call into use the ten thousand additional bamboos.
In another minute they were crossing
a large quadrangle, paved with marble, and tastefully
decorated with a pigsty in each corner. Soldiers,
carrying pigs, were marching in all directions:
and in the middle stood a gigantic officer giving
orders in a voice of thunder, which made itself heard
above all the uproar of the pigs.
“It is the Commander-in-Chief!”
the Governor hurriedly whispered to his companions,
who at once followed his example in prostrating themselves
before the great man. The Commander gravely bowed
in return. He was covered with gold lace from
head to foot: his face wore an expression of
deep misery: and he had a little black pig under
each arm. Still the gallant fellow did his best,
in the midst of the orders he was every moment issuing
to his men, to bid a courteous farewell to the departing
guests.
“Farewell, oh old one carry
these three to the South corner and farewell
to thee, thou young one put this fat one
on the top of the others in the Western sty may
your shadows never be less woe is me, it
is wrongly done! Empty out all the sties, and
begin again!” And the soldier leant upon his
sword, and wiped away a tear.
“He is in distress,” the
Governor explained as they left the court. “Her
Radiancy has commanded him to place twenty-four pigs
in those four sties, so that, as she goes round the
court, she may always find the number in each sty
nearer to ten than the number in the last.”
“Does she call ten nearer to
ten than nine is?” said Norman.
“Surely,” said the Governor.
“Her Radiancy would admit that ten is nearer
to ten than nine is and also nearer than
eleven is.”
“Then I think it can be done,” said Norman.
The Governor shook his head.
“The Commander has been transferring them in
vain for four months,” he said. “What
hope remains? And Her Radiancy has ordered up
ten thousand additional ”
“The pigs don’t seem to
enjoy being transferred,” the old man hastily
interrupted. He did not like the subject of bamboos.
“They are only provisionally
transferred, you know,” said the Governor.
“In most cases they are immediately carried back
again: so they need not mind it. And all
is done with the greatest care, under the personal
superintendence of the Commander-in-Chief.”
“Of course she would only go once round?”
said Norman.
“Alas, no!” sighed their
conductor. “Round and round. Round
and round. These are Her Radiancy’s own
words. But oh, agony! Here is the outer
gate, and we must part!” He sobbed as he shook
hands with them, and the next moment was briskly walking
away.
“He might have waited
to see us off!” said the old man, piteously.
“And he needn’t have begun
whistling the very moment he left us!”
said the young one, severely. “But look
sharp here are two what’s-his-names
in the act of starting!”
Unluckily, the sea-bound omnibus was
full. “Never mind!” said Norman,
cheerily. “We’ll walk on till the
next one overtakes us.”
They trudged on in silence, both thinking
over the military problem, till they met an omnibus
coming from the sea. The elder traveller took
out his watch. “Just twelve minutes and
a half since we started,” he remarked in an
absent manner. Suddenly the vacant face brightened;
the old man had an idea. “My boy!”
he shouted, bringing his hand down upon Norman’s
shoulder so suddenly as for a moment to transfer his
centre of gravity beyond the base of support.
Thus taken off his guard, the young
man wildly staggered forwards, and seemed about to
plunge into space: but in another moment he had
gracefully recovered himself. “Problem in
Precession and Nutation,” he remarked in
tones where filial respect only just managed to conceal
a shade of annoyance. “What is it?”
he hastily added, fearing his father might have been
taken ill. “Will you have some brandy?”
“When will the next omnibus
overtake us? When? When?” the old man
cried, growing more excited every moment.
Norman looked gloomy. “Give
me time,” he said. “I must think it
over.” And once more the travellers passed
on in silence a silence only broken by
the distant squeals of the unfortunate little pigs,
who were still being provisionally transferred from
sty to sty, under the personal superintendence of
the Commander-in-Chief.