The household took its everyday course
of a morning: the everyday life, driven indoors
by the merciless winter, the grey skies and blustering
wind, rolled on softly and evenly in the rooms and
passages of the big house. Not much came from
outside, where the great trees in the garden dripped
with chill rain; nothing to stir the big house, which
stood there like a great lonely block on the villa-road,
amid the sombre mystery of its wind-blown trees.
For the occupants of the big, gloomy house had made
as few acquaintances as possible among their neighbours,
though in the spring and summer Gerdy would take her
racket daily to the tennis-club.... In the winter,
it was a quiet life indoors, varied only by a walk,
or a visit to a sick or poor neighbour, a quiet life
between the walls of the big rooms, with the wind
tapping at the window-panes....
The old grandmother sat mostly in
the conservatory and looked out into the garden, sagely
nodding her silver-grey head. She no longer recognized
all the children and as a rule thought herself back
at Buitenzorg, in the midst of her own family; even
when Klaasje sat playing at her feet, she would think
that it was little Gertrude, Gertrude who had died,
as a child, at Buitenzorg.... Constance, a zealous
housewife, active despite her fifty-five years, moved
about the house incessantly during the morning, with
Marietje or Adeletje to help her. Twenty-two
and twenty-one respectively, they were always with
Constance: Marietje already full of unselfish
consideration and Adeletje delicate, not speaking
much, sitting with her needlework upstairs in their
room; and, because of Alex’ strange melancholy,
it was only Guy and Gerdy that represented joyous,
healthy youth in the house, that rich health and radiance
which reminded Constance of their father, of her brother
Gerrit, who had been so noisy, broad and strong until
he fell ill, too ill to go on living....
Klaasje was very troublesome in the
mornings, very restless, full of freaks and cranks,
always bothering the others to play with her or at
least to make a fuss over her; and Constance was so
sorry that Klaasje could not be upstairs in the nursery
with Jetje and Constant, but Mathilde would not have
her there. And the poor, innocent child, twelve
years old by now, was jealous of Constant and Jetje
and hated Mathilde, as though, unconsciously, she
felt in the children a childishness that was natural
and as though she knew that, after all, she herself
was much too big to play about like that and build
houses with cards and dominoes....
Above the great sombre house, against
the great sombre skies and inside the house itself
there was always a strange melancholy of things that
had been.... It floated through the passages and
creaked in the furniture; it could be felt in the
old grandmother’s sitting at the conservatory-window,
in the pale, unchangingly sad face of Adeline, who
was so helpless; it appeared in the silent sorrow of
Emilie, who was spiritless and never spoke much these
days. In the sombre house they sat or moved in
an atmosphere of bygone things which mingled with the
atmosphere of the house itself, as though they were
small, pale souls, broken by life and sheltering in
the safe house, now that the winter seemed endless
and the heavy clouds were so oppressive.... A
cloud of recollection hung over the old woman, as
she sat silently staring, as she played with Klaasje,
who would never grow up; a last reflexion of sombre
tragedy lingered around the simple mother of so many
children, as though her husband’s suicide still
struck her with tragic wonder that life could strike
so suddenly and fiercely and cruelly; it was as though
a strange psychological secret slumbered in the sad
eyes of Emilie, who was still a young woman; a secret
which she would never speak....
Sombre was the house and sombre the
everlasting wind that blew around it; full of strange
voices, of things of long ago; and they did not brighten
the house, those three sad, silent women, so different
in age, so sombre in their equal melancholy.
They did not brighten the morning which they spent
there together, in the house on the long, rain-swept
road; and it was Constance herself, followed quietly
by Marietje or Adeletje, who woke the house, stairs
and passages to life with her active footfall and
the shrill rattle of her keys.... The sound of
a piano came harshly from Mathilde’s sitting-room
upstairs; and it had only to be heard to make the
other piano in the drawing-room downstairs cry out
in pain under Gerdy’s furious little fingers,
until Constance was startled at so much noise and
hurriedly whispered to Marietje:
“Do tell Gerdy not to play when
Mathilde is playing upstairs!...”
Marietje would then rush to the drawing-room
and rebuke Gerdy; and, because it was Aunt Constance’
request, Gerdy’s piano suddenly fell silenced,
leaving Mathilde’s runs and flourishes to triumph
overhead.
The children drove out daily with
their nurse in the governess-court, whatever the weather:
it was Addie’s principle and they throve on it;
and their youthfulness, stammering its first words,
was like a bright, rosy dawn of the future, as they
went along the sombre stairs and dark passages and
rooms, casting a sudden golden radiance in that atmosphere
of the past, as though they were suddenly powdering
through the brown of the shadows, as though they were
sprinkling the sound of children’s voices through
the brown air, which had not caught a childish sound
for so many years....
When Addie was out, visiting his patients,
Van der Welcke remained in his room, reading
and smoking, Uncle Jupiter, as Gerdy called him, because
he usually sat enveloped in the blue clouds of his
cigarette; and Guy did a little work, for his examination
as a clerk in the postal service, except when he went
to Utrecht, where he was receiving private tuition
in geography. But when he was working at home,
in his little room, up on the third floor, his young,
healthy restlessness constantly made him get up and
run downstairs, to borrow an atlas of Van der
Welcke, hang round Uncle Henri for a bit, smoke a cigarette
with him, then go back upstairs. He would look
at his books and maps for three minutes and then jump
up again, stretch himself, take up his dumb-bells,
feeling stiff from the long sitting, and go downstairs
once more.
Constance met him in the hall:
“Aren’t you working, Guy?”
“Yes, I am, Auntie. Where are you off to?”
“To the store-cupboard.”
He went with her and Marietje to the
store-cupboard, conducted a raid among the almonds
and raisins, talked a lot of nonsense and made Constance
laugh, until she said:
“Come on, Guy ... run along upstairs.”
But, because Adeletje looked after
the flowers in the conservatory and he saw her carrying
a watering-can, he assisted her and even sponged the
leaves of an aralia, while Klaasje played at Grandmamma’s
feet, building houses with cards, which she loved
for the shrill colours of the court-cards, and aces
and for the pretty figures of hearts and diamonds,
clubs and spades. He built a house for her; he
teased Gerdy, who was back at her piano, now that
Mathilde had left off overhead, until Truitje came
to lay the table for lunch and he raced up three flights
of stairs, terrified, to work at all costs ... hang
it all, yes, to work!... He sat with his hands
to his ears, so as not to hear, and his eyes fixed
on the maps; and, when the luncheon-bell rang, he
deliberately waited a few minutes, pretended to himself
to be annoyed because a morning passed so quickly
and never came down to lunch less than five minutes
late, making the excuse that he had been working so
hard....
Now, in the winter, the short days
passed in peaceful, sombre domesticity: in the
afternoon, Constance went for a walk or to see a poor
person, generally with Adeletje; paying or receiving
a visit was quite an event, which happened only three
or four times during the winter; only Gerdy sometimes
entertained her tennis-club and gave the members tea,
upstairs in the girls’ sitting-room, as though
striving for a little sociability from the outside....
And, in the yellow circle of light shed by the lamps,
the evening drowsed on gently after dinner, with the
wind whistling round the house, with Gerdy’s
bustle amid the chink of her tea-things, with Guy
and Adeletje rattling the dice:
“Two and five....”
“Double six.... Once more....
Imperial.... Once more.... Three and five....”
And Mathilde sat with a book in her
hands, her eyes expressing a weight of silent boredom,
while the room seemed full of things of the past, and
the voice of the wind outside and the mourning women Granny,
Adeline, Emilie like three generations
of dreaming melancholy depressed her until Addie came
in, for a brief hour, before going upstairs again to
his reading....