As spring came on, a new set of amusements
became the fashion, and the lengthening days gave
long afternoons for work and play of all sorts.
The garden had to be put in order, and each sister
had a quarter of the little plot to do what she liked
with. Hannah used to say, “I’d know
which each of them gardings belonged to, ef I see ’em
in Chiny,” and so she might, for the girls’
tastes differed as much as their characters.
Meg’s had roses and heliotrope, myrtle, and a
little orange tree in it. Jo’s bed was
never alike two seasons, for she was always trying
experiments. This year it was to be a plantation
of sun flowers, the seeds of which cheerful land aspiring
plant were to feed Aunt Cockle-top and her family
of chicks. Beth had old-fashioned fragrant flowers
in her garden, sweet peas and mignonette, larkspur,
pinks, pansies, and southernwood, with chickweed for
the birds and catnip for the pussies. Amy had
a bower in hers, rather small and earwiggy, but very
pretty to look at, with honeysuckle and morning-glories
hanging their colored horns and bells in graceful
wreaths all over it, tall white lilies, delicate ferns,
and as many brilliant, picturesque plants as would
consent to blossom there.
Gardening, walks, rows on the river,
and flower hunts employed the fine days, and for rainy
ones, they had house diversions, some old, some new,
all more or less original. One of these was the
‘P.C.’, for as secret societies were the
fashion, it was thought proper to have one, and as
all of the girls admired Dickens, they called themselves
the Pickwick Club. With a few interruptions,
they had kept this up for a year, and met every Saturday
evening in the big garret, on which occasions the
ceremonies were as follows: Three chairs were
arranged in a row before a table on which was a lamp,
also four white badges, with a big ‘P.C.’
in different colors on each, and the weekly newspaper
called, The Pickwick Portfolio, to which all contributed
something, while Jo, who reveled in pens and ink,
was the editor. At seven o’clock, the four
members ascended to the clubroom, tied their badges
round their heads, and took their seats with great
solemnity. Meg, as the eldest, was Samuel Pickwick,
Jo, being of a literary turn, Augustus Snodgrass,
Beth, because she was round and rosy, Tracy Tupman,
and Amy, who was always trying to do what she couldn’t,
was Nathaniel Winkle. Pickwick, the president,
read the paper, which was filled with original tales,
poetry, local news, funny advertisements, and hints,
in which they good-naturedly reminded each other of
their faults and short comings. On one occasion,
Mr. Pickwick put on a pair of spectacles without any
glass, rapped upon the table, hemmed, and having stared
hard at Mr. Snodgrass, who was tilting back in his
chair, till he arranged himself properly, began to
read:
“THE PICKWICK PORTFOLIO”
MAY 20, 18
POET’S CORNER
ANNIVERSARY ODE
Again we meet to celebrate
With badge and solemn rite,
Our fifty-second anniversary,
In Pickwick Hall, tonight.
We all are here in perfect
health,
None gone from our small band:
Again we see each well-known
face,
And press each friendly hand.
Our Pickwick, always at his
post,
With reverence we greet,
As, spectacles on nose, he
reads
Our well-filled weekly sheet.
Although he suffers from a
cold,
We joy to hear him speak,
For words of wisdom from him
fall,
In spite of croak or squeak.
Old six-foot Snodgrass looms
on high,
With elephantine grace,
And beams upon the company,
With brown and jovial face.
Poetic fire lights up his
eye,
He struggles ’gainst
his lot.
Behold ambition on his brow,
And on his nose, a blot.
Next our peaceful Tupman comes,
So rosy, plump, and sweet,
Who chokes with laughter at
the puns,
And tumbles off his seat.
Prim little Winkle too is
here,
With every hair in place,
A model of propriety,
Though he hates to wash his
face.
The year is gone, we still
unite
To joke and laugh and read,
And tread the path of literature
That doth to glory lead.
Long may our paper prosper
well,
Our club unbroken be,
And coming years their blessings
pour
On the useful, gay ‘P.
C.’.
A. SNODGRASS
THE MASKED MARRIAGE
(A Tale Of Venice)
Gondola after gondola swept up to the
marble steps, and left its lovely load to swell
the brilliant throng that filled the stately halls
of Count Adelon. Knights and ladies, elves
and pages, monks and flower girls, all mingled
gaily in the dance. Sweet voices and rich
melody filled the air, and so with mirth and music
the masquerade went on. “Has your Highness
seen the Lady Viola tonight?” asked a gallant
troubadour of the fairy queen who floated down
the hall upon his arm.
“Yes, is she not lovely,
though so sad! Her
dress is well chosen, too,
for in a week she weds
Count Antonio, whom she passionately
hates.”
“By my faith, I envy him.
Yonder he comes, arrayed like a bridegroom, except
the black mask. When that is off we shall
see how he regards the fair maid whose heart he
cannot win, though her stern father bestows her
hand,” returned the troubadour.
“Tis whispered that she loves
the young English artist who haunts her steps,
and is spurned by the old Count,” said the
lady, as they joined the dance. The revel
was at its height when a priest appeared, and
withdrawing the young pair to an alcove, hung
with purple velvet, he motioned them to kneel.
Instant silence fell on the gay throng, and not
a sound, but the dash of fountains or the rustle
of orange groves sleeping in the moonlight, broke
the hush, as Count de Adelon spoke thus:
“My lords and ladies, pardon the
ruse by which I have gathered you here to witness
the marriage of my daughter. Father, we
wait your services.” All eyes turned
toward the bridal party, and a murmur of amazement
went through the throng, for neither bride nor
groom removed their masks. Curiosity and
wonder possessed all hearts, but respect restrained
all tongues till the holy rite was over.
Then the eager spectators gathered round the count,
demanding an explanation.
“Gladly would I give it if I could,
but I only know that it was the whim of my timid
Viola, and I yielded to it. Now, my children,
let the play end. Unmask and receive my blessing.”
But neither bent the knee, for the young
bridegroom replied in a tone that startled all
listeners as the mask fell, disclosing the noble
face of Ferdinand Devereux, the artist lover,
and leaning on the breast where now flashed the
star of an English earl was the lovely Viola,
radiant with joy and beauty.
“My lord, you scornfully bade
me claim your daughter when I could boast as high
a name and vast a fortune as the Count Antonio.
I can do more, for even your ambitious soul cannot
refuse the Earl of Devereux and De Vere, when
he gives his ancient name and boundless wealth
in return for the beloved hand of this fair lady,
now my wife.”
The count stood like one changed to
stone, and turning to the bewildered crowd, Ferdinand
added, with a gay smile of triumph, “To
you, my gallant friends, I can only wish that
your wooing may prosper as mine has done, and
that you may all win as fair a bride as I have by
this masked marriage.” S. PICKWICK
Why is the P. C. like the
Tower of Babel?
It is full of unruly members.
THE HISTORY OF A SQUASH
Once upon a time a farmer planted a
little seed in his garden, and after a while it
sprouted and became a vine and bore many squashes.
One day in October, when they were ripe, he picked
one and took it to market. A gorcerman bought
and put it in his shop. That same morning,
a little girl in a brown hat and blue dress, with
a round face and snub nose, went and bought it
for her mother. She lugged it home, cut it
up, and boiled it in the big pot, mashed some of it
with salt and butter, for dinner. And to
the rest she added a pint of milk, two eggs, four
spoons of sugar, nutmeg, and some crackers, put
it in a deep dish, and baked it till it was brown
and nice, and next day it was eaten by a family
named March. T. TUPMAN
Mr. Pickwick, Sir: I
address you upon the subject of sin the sinner I
mean is a man named Winkle who makes trouble in his
club by laughing and sometimes won’t write
his piece in this fine paper I hope you will pardon
his badness and let him send a French fable because
he can’t write out of his head as he has
so many lessons to do and no brains in future
I will try to take time by the fetlock and prepare
some work which will be all commy la fo that means
all right I am in haste as it is nearly school time.
Yours respectably, N. WINKLE
[The above is a manly and
handsome acknowledgment of past
misdemeanors. If our
young friend studied punctuation, it
would be well.]
A SAD ACCIDENT
On Friday last, we were startled by
a violent shock in our basement, followed by cries
of distress. On rushing in a body to the
cellar, we discovered our beloved President prostrate
upon the floor, having tripped and fallen while
getting wood for domestic purposes. A perfect
scene of ruin met our eyes, for in his fall Mr.
Pickwick had plunged his head and shoulders into
a tub of water, upset a keg of soft soap upon
his manly form, and torn his garments badly.
On being removed from this perilous situation,
it was discovered that he had suffered no injury
but several bruises, and we are happy to add, is
now doing well. ED.
THE PUBLIC BEREAVEMENT
It is our painful duty to record the
sudden and mysterious disappearance of our cherished
friend, Mrs. Snowball Pat Paw. This lovely
and beloved cat was the pet of a large circle
of warm and admiring friends; for her beauty attracted
all eyes, her graces and virtues endeared her
to all hearts, and her loss is deeply felt by
the whole community.
When last seen, she was sitting at the
gate, watching the butcher’s cart, and it
is feared that some villain, tempted by her charms,
basely stole her. Weeks have passed, but
no trace of her has been discovered, and we relinquish
all hope, tie a black ribbon to her basket, set
aside her dish, and weep for her as one lost to
us forever.
A sympathizing friend sends
the following gem:
A LAMENT
(FOR S. B. PAT PAW)
We mourn the loss of our little
pet,
And sigh o’er her hapless
fate,
For never more by the fire
she’ll sit,
Nor play by the old green
gate.
The little grave where her
infant sleeps
Is ’neath the chestnut
tree.
But o’er her grave we
may not weep,
We know not where it may be.
Her empty bed, her idle ball,
Will never see her more;
No gentle tap, no loving purr
Is heard at the parlor door.
Another cat comes after her
mice,
A cat with a dirty face,
But she does not hunt as our
darling did,
Nor play with her airy grace.
Her stealthy paws tread the
very hall
Where Snowball used to play,
But she only spits at the
dogs our pet
So gallantly drove away.
She is useful and mild, and
does her best,
But she is not fair to see,
And we cannot give her your
place dear,
Nor worship her as we worship
thee.
A.S.
ADVERTISEMENTS
MISS ORANTHY BLUGGAGE, the accomplished
strong-minded lecturer, will deliver her famous
lecture on “WOMAN AND HER POSITION” at
Pickwick Hall, next Saturday Evening, after the
usual performances.
A WEEKLY MEETING will be held at Kitchen
Place, to teach young ladies how to cook.
Hannah Brown will preside, and all are invited
to attend.
The DUSTPAN SOCIETY will meet on Wednesday
next, and parade in the upper story of the Club
House. All members to appear in uniform and
shoulder their brooms at nine precisely.
Mrs. BETH BOUNCER will open her new
assortment of Doll’s Millinery next week.
The latest Paris fashions have arrived, and
orders are respectfully solicited.
A NEW PLAY will appear at the Barnville
Theatre, in the course of a few weeks, which will
surpass anything ever seen on the American stage.
“The Greek Slave, or Constantine the Avenger,”
is the name of this thrilling drama!!!
HINTS
If S.P. didn’t use so much soap
on his hands, he wouldn’t always be late
at breakfast. A.S. is requested not to whistle
in the street. T.T. please don’t forget
Amy’s napkin. N.W. must not fret
because his dress has not nine tucks.
WEEKLY REPORT
Meg Good.
Jo Bad.
Beth Very Good.
Amy Middling.
As the President finished reading
the paper (which I beg leave to assure my readers
is a bona fide copy of one written by bona fide girls
once upon a time), a round of applause followed, and
then Mr. Snodgrass rose to make a proposition.
“Mr. President and gentlemen,”
he began, assuming a parliamentary attitude and tone,
“I wish to propose the admission of a new member one
who highly deserves the honor, would be deeply grateful
for it, and would add immensely to the spirit of the
club, the literary value of the paper, and be no end
jolly and nice. I propose Mr. Theodore Laurence
as an honorary member of the P. C. Come now, do
have him.”
Jo’s sudden change of tone made
the girls laugh, but all looked rather anxious, and
no one said a word as Snodgrass took his seat.
“We’ll put it to a vote,”
said the President. “All in favor of this
motion please to manifest it by saying, ’Aye’.”
A loud response from Snodgrass, followed,
to everybody’s surprise, by a timid one from
Beth.
“Contrary-minded say, ’No’.”
Meg and Amy were contrary-minded,
and Mr. Winkle rose to say with great elegance, “We
don’t wish any boys, they only joke and bounce
about. This is a ladies’ club, and we wish
to be private and proper.”
“I’m afraid he’ll
laugh at our paper, and make fun of us afterward,”
observed Pickwick, pulling the little curl on her forehead,
as she always did when doubtful.
Up rose Snodgrass, very much in earnest.
“Sir, I give you my word as a gentleman, Laurie
won’t do anything of the sort. He likes
to write, and he’ll give a tone to our contributions
and keep us from being sentimental, don’t you
see? We can do so little for him, and he does
so much for us, I think the least we can do is to offer
him a place here, and make him welcome if he comes.”
This artful allusion to benefits conferred
brought Tupman to his feet, looking as if he had quite
made up his mind.
“Yes; we ought to do it, even
if we are afraid. I say he may come, and his
grandpa, too, if he likes.”
This spirited burst from Beth electrified
the club, and Jo left her seat to shake hands approvingly.
“Now then, vote again. Everybody remember
it’s our Laurie, and say, ‘Aye!’”
cried Snodgrass excitedly.
“Aye! Aye! Aye!” replied three
voices at once.
“Good! Bless you!
Now, as there’s nothing like ’taking time
by the fetlock’, as Winkle characteristically
observes, allow me to present the new member.”
And, to the dismay of the rest of the club, Jo threw
open the door of the closet, and displayed Laurie sitting
on a rag bag, flushed and twinkling with suppressed
laughter.
“You rogue! You traitor!
Jo, how could you?” cried the three girls,
as Snodgrass led her friend triumphantly forth, and
producing both a chair and a badge, installed him
in a jiffy.
“The coolness of you two rascals
is amazing,” began Mr. Pickwick, trying to get
up an awful frown and only succeeding in producing
an amiable smile. But the new member was equal
to the occasion, and rising, with a grateful salutation
to the Chair, said in the most engaging manner, “Mr.
President and ladies I beg pardon, gentlemen allow
me to introduce myself as Sam Weller, the very humble
servant of the club.”
“Good! Good!” cried
Jo, pounding with the handle of the old warming pan
on which she leaned.
“My faithful friend and noble
patron,” continued Laurie with a wave of the
hand, “who has so flatteringly presented me,
is not to be blamed for the base stratagem of tonight.
I planned it, and she only gave in after lots of
teasing.”
“Come now, don’t lay it
all on yourself. You know I proposed the cupboard,”
broke in Snodgrass, who was enjoying the joke amazingly.
“Never mind what she says.
I’m the wretch that did it, sir,” said
the new member, with a Welleresque nod to Mr. Pickwick.
“But on my honor, I never will do so again,
and henceforth devote myself to the interest of this
immortal club.”
“Hear! Hear!” cried
Jo, clashing the lid of the warming pan like a cymbal.
“Go on, go on!” added
Winkle and Tupman, while the President bowed benignly.
“I merely wish to say, that
as a slight token of my gratitude for the honor done
me, and as a means of promoting friendly relations
between adjoining nations, I have set up a post office
in the hedge in the lower corner of the garden, a
fine, spacious building with padlocks on the doors
and every convenience for the mails, also the females,
if I may be allowed the expression. It’s
the old martin house, but I’ve stopped up the
door and made the roof open, so it will hold all sorts
of things, and save our valuable time. Letters,
manuscripts, books, and bundles can be passed in there,
and as each nation has a key, it will be uncommonly
nice, I fancy. Allow me to present the club key,
and with many thanks for your favor, take my seat.”
Great applause as Mr. Weller deposited
a little key on the table and subsided, the warming
pan clashed and waved wildly, and it was some time
before order could be restored. A long discussion
followed, and everyone came out surprising, for everyone
did her best. So it was an unusually lively
meeting, and did not adjourn till a late hour, when
it broke up with three shrill cheers for the new member.
No one ever regretted the admittance
of Sam Weller, for a more devoted, well-behaved, and
jovial member no club could have. He certainly
did add ‘spirit’ to the meetings, and
‘a tone’ to the paper, for his orations
convulsed his hearers and his contributions were excellent,
being patriotic, classical, comical, or dramatic, but
never sentimental. Jo regarded them as worthy
of Bacon, Milton, or Shakespeare, and remodeled her
own works with good effect, she thought.
The P. O. was a capital little institution,
and flourished wonderfully, for nearly as many queer
things passed through it as through the real post
office. Tragedies and cravats, poetry and pickles,
garden seeds and long letters, music and gingerbread,
rubbers, invitations, scoldings, and puppies.
The old gentleman liked the fun, and amused himself
by sending odd bundles, mysterious messages, and funny
telegrams, and his gardener, who was smitten with Hannah’s
charms, actually sent a love letter to Jo’s care.
How they laughed when the secret came out, never
dreaming how many love letters that little post office
would hold in the years to come.