“Jo, I’m anxious about Beth.”
“Why, Mother, she has seemed unusually well
since the babies came.”
“It’s not her health that
troubles me now, it’s her spirits. I’m
sure there is something on her mind, and I want you
to discover what it is.”
“What makes you think so, Mother?”
“She sits alone a good deal,
and doesn’t talk to her father as much as she
used. I found her crying over the babies the
other day. When she sings, the songs are always
sad ones, and now and then I see a look in her face
that I don’t understand. This isn’t
like Beth, and it worries me.”
“Have you asked her about it?”
“I have tried once or twice,
but she either evaded my questions or looked so distressed
that I stopped. I never force my children’s
confidence, and I seldom have to wait for long.”
Mrs. March glanced at Jo as she spoke,
but the face opposite seemed quite unconscious of
any secret disquietude but Beth’s, and after
sewing thoughtfully for a minute, Jo said, “I
think she is growing up, and so begins to dream dreams,
and have hopes and fears and fidgets, without knowing
why or being able to explain them. Why, Mother,
Beth’s eighteen, but we don’t realize
it, and treat her like a child, forgetting she’s
a woman.”
“So she is. Dear heart,
how fast you do grow up,” returned her mother
with a sigh and a smile.
“Can’t be helped, Marmee,
so you must resign yourself to all sorts of worries,
and let your birds hop out of the nest, one by one.
I promise never to hop very far, if that is any comfort
to you.”
“It’s a great comfort,
Jo. I always feel strong when you are at home,
now Meg is gone. Beth is too feeble and Amy too
young to depend upon, but when the tug comes, you
are always ready.”
“Why, you know I don’t
mind hard jobs much, and there must always be one
scrub in a family. Amy is splendid in fine works
and I’m not, but I feel in my element when all
the carpets are to be taken up, or half the family
fall sick at once. Amy is distinguishing herself
abroad, but if anything is amiss at home, I’m
your man.”
“I leave Beth to your hands,
then, for she will open her tender little heart to
her Jo sooner than to anyone else. Be very kind,
and don’t let her think anyone watches or talks
about her. If she only would get quite strong
and cheerful again, I shouldn’t have a wish in
the world.”
“Happy woman! I’ve got heaps.”
“My dear, what are they?”
“I’ll settle Bethy’s
troubles, and then I’ll tell you mine. They
are not very wearing, so they’ll keep.”
and Jo stitched away, with a wise nod which set her
mother’s heart at rest about her for the present
at least.
While apparently absorbed in her own
affairs, Jo watched Beth, and after many conflicting
conjectures, finally settled upon one which seemed
to explain the change in her. A slight incident
gave Jo the clue to the mystery, she thought, and
lively fancy, loving heart did the rest. She
was affecting to write busily one Saturday afternoon,
when she and Beth were alone together. Yet as
she scribbled, she kept her eye on her sister, who
seemed unusually quiet. Sitting at the window,
Beth’s work often dropped into her lap, and she
leaned her head upon her hand, in a dejected attitude,
while her eyes rested on the dull, autumnal landscape.
Suddenly some one passed below, whistling like an
operatic blackbird, and a voice called out, “All
serene! Coming in tonight.”
Beth started, leaned forward, smiled
and nodded, watched the passer-by till his quick tramp
died away, then said softly as if to herself, “How
strong and well and happy that dear boy looks.”
“Hum!” said Jo, still
intent upon her sister’s face, for the bright
color faded as quickly as it came, the smile vanished,
and presently a tear lay shining on the window ledge.
Beth whisked it off, and in her half-averted face
read a tender sorrow that made her own eyes fill.
Fearing to betray herself, she slipped away, murmuring
something about needing more paper.
“Mercy on me, Beth loves Laurie!”
she said, sitting down in her own room, pale with
the shock of the discovery which she believed she had
just made. “I never dreamed of such a thing.
What will Mother say? I wonder if her...”
there Jo stopped and turned scarlet with a sudden
thought. “If he shouldn’t love back
again, how dreadful it would be. He must.
I’ll make him!” and she shook her head
threateningly at the picture of the mischievous-looking
boy laughing at her from the wall. “Oh
dear, we are growing up with a vengeance. Here’s
Meg married and a mamma, Amy flourishing away at Paris,
and Beth in love. I’m the only one that
has sense enough to keep out of mischief.”
Jo thought intently for a minute with her eyes fixed
on the picture, then she smoothed out her wrinkled
forehead and said, with a decided nod at the face
opposite, “No thank you, sir, you’re very
charming, but you’ve no more stability than
a weathercock. So you needn’t write touching
notes and smile in that insinuating way, for it won’t
do a bit of good, and I won’t have it.”
Then she sighed, and fell into a reverie
from which she did not wake till the early twilight
sent her down to take new observations, which only
confirmed her suspicion. Though Laurie flirted
with Amy and joked with Jo, his manner to Beth had
always been peculiarly kind and gentle, but so was
everybody’s. Therefore, no one thought of
imagining that he cared more for her than for the
others. Indeed, a general impression had prevailed
in the family of late that ‘our boy’ was
getting fonder than ever of Jo, who, however, wouldn’t
hear a word upon the subject and scolded violently
if anyone dared to suggest it. If they had known
the various tender passages which had been nipped in
the bud, they would have had the immense satisfaction
of saying, “I told you so.” But Jo
hated ‘philandering’, and wouldn’t
allow it, always having a joke or a smile ready at
the least sign of impending danger.
When Laurie first went to college,
he fell in love about once a month, but these small
flames were as brief as ardent, did no damage, and
much amused Jo, who took great interest in the alternations
of hope, despair, and resignation, which were confided
to her in their weekly conferences. But there
came a time when Laurie ceased to worship at many
shrines, hinted darkly at one all-absorbing passion,
and indulged occasionally in Byronic fits of gloom.
Then he avoided the tender subject altogether, wrote
philosophical notes to Jo, turned studious, and gave
out that he was going to ‘dig’, intending
to graduate in a blaze of glory. This suited
the young lady better than twilight confidences, tender
pressures of the hand, and eloquent glances of the
eye, for with Jo, brain developed earlier than heart,
and she preferred imaginary heroes to real ones, because
when tired of them, the former could be shut up in
the tin kitchen till called for, and the latter were
less manageable.
Things were in this state when the
grand discovery was made, and Jo watched Laurie that
night as she had never done before. If she had
not got the new idea into her head, she would have
seen nothing unusual in the fact that Beth was very
quiet, and Laurie very kind to her. But having
given the rein to her lively fancy, it galloped away
with her at a great pace, and common sense, being
rather weakened by a long course of romance writing,
did not come to the rescue. As usual Beth lay
on the sofa and Laurie sat in a low chair close by,
amusing her with all sorts of gossip, for she depended
on her weekly ‘spin’, and he never disappointed
her. But that evening Jo fancied that Beth’s
eyes rested on the lively, dark face beside her with
peculiar pleasure, and that she listened with intense
interest to an account of some exciting cricket match,
though the phrases, ‘caught off a tice’,
’stumped off his ground’, and ‘the
leg hit for three’, were as intelligible to her
as Sanskrit. She also fancied, having set her
heart upon seeing it, that she saw a certain increase
of gentleness in Laurie’s manner, that he dropped
his voice now and then, laughed less than usual, was
a little absent-minded, and settled the afghan over
Beth’s feet with an assiduity that was really
almost tender.
“Who knows? Stranger things
have happened,” thought Jo, as she fussed about
the room. “She will make quite an angel
of him, and he will make life delightfully easy and
pleasant for the dear, if they only love each other.
I don’t see how he can help it, and I do believe
he would if the rest of us were out of the way.”
As everyone was out of the way but
herself, Jo began to feel that she ought to dispose
of herself with all speed. But where should she
go? And burning to lay herself upon the shrine
of sisterly devotion, she sat down to settle that
point.
Now, the old sofa was a regular patriarch
of a sofa long, broad, well-cushioned,
and low, a trifle shabby, as well it might be, for
the girls had slept and sprawled on it as babies,
fished over the back, rode on the arms, and had menageries
under it as children, and rested tired heads, dreamed
dreams, and listened to tender talk on it as young
women. They all loved it, for it was a family
refuge, and one corner had always been Jo’s
favorite lounging place. Among the many pillows
that adorned the venerable couch was one, hard, round,
covered with prickly horsehair, and furnished with
a knobby button at each end. This repulsive pillow
was her especial property, being used as a weapon
of defense, a barricade, or a stern preventive of too
much slumber.
Laurie knew this pillow well, and
had cause to regard it with deep aversion, having
been unmercifully pummeled with it in former days when
romping was allowed, and now frequently debarred by
it from the seat he most coveted next to Jo in the
sofa corner. If ‘the sausage’ as
they called it, stood on end, it was a sign that he
might approach and repose, but if it lay flat across
the sofa, woe to man, woman, or child who dared disturb
it! That evening Jo forgot to barricade her corner,
and had not been in her seat five minutes, before a
massive form appeared beside her, and with both arms
spread over the sofa back, both long legs stretched
out before him, Laurie exclaimed, with a sigh of satisfaction...
“Now, this is filling at the price.”
“No slang,” snapped Jo,
slamming down the pillow. But it was too late,
there was no room for it, and coasting onto the floor,
it disappeared in a most mysterious manner.
“Come, Jo, don’t be thorny.
After studying himself to a skeleton all the week,
a fellow deserves petting and ought to get it.”
“Beth will pet you. I’m busy.”
“No, she’s not to be bothered
with me, but you like that sort of thing, unless you’ve
suddenly lost your taste for it. Have you?
Do you hate your boy, and want to fire pillows at
him?”
Anything more wheedlesome than that
touching appeal was seldom heard, but Jo quenched
‘her boy’ by turning on him with a stern
query, “How many bouquets have you sent Miss
Randal this week?”
“Not one, upon my word. She’s engaged.
Now then.”
“I’m glad of it, that’s
one of your foolish extravagances, sending flowers
and things to girls for whom you don’t care two
pins,” continued Jo reprovingly.
“Sensible girls for whom I do
care whole papers of pins won’t let me send
them ‘flowers and things’, so what can
I do? My feelings need a ’vent’.”
“Mother doesn’t approve
of flirting even in fun, and you do flirt desperately,
Teddy.”
“I’d give anything if
I could answer, ‘So do you’. As I
can’t, I’ll merely say that I don’t
see any harm in that pleasant little game, if all
parties understand that it’s only play.”
“Well, it does look pleasant,
but I can’t learn how it’s done. I’ve
tried, because one feels awkward in company not to
do as everybody else is doing, but I don’t seem
to get on”, said Jo, forgetting to play mentor.
“Take lessons of Amy, she has a regular talent
for it.”
“Yes, she does it very prettily,
and never seems to go too far. I suppose it’s
natural to some people to please without trying, and
others to always say and do the wrong thing in the
wrong place.”
“I’m glad you can’t
flirt. It’s really refreshing to see a
sensible, straightforward girl, who can be jolly and
kind without making a fool of herself. Between
ourselves, Jo, some of the girls I know really do
go on at such a rate I’m ashamed of them.
They don’t mean any harm, I’m sure, but
if they knew how we fellows talked about them afterward,
they’d mend their ways, I fancy.”
“They do the same, and as their
tongues are the sharpest, you fellows get the worst
of it, for you are as silly as they, every bit.
If you behaved properly, they would, but knowing
you like their nonsense, they keep it up, and then
you blame them.”
“Much you know about it, ma’am,”
said Laurie in a superior tone. “We don’t
like romps and flirts, though we may act as if we did
sometimes. The pretty, modest girls are never
talked about, except respectfully, among gentleman.
Bless your innocent soul! If you could be in
my place for a month you’d see things that would
astonish you a trifle. Upon my word, when I see
one of those harum-scarum girls, I always want
to say with our friend Cock Robin...
“Out upon you, fie upon
you,
Bold-faced jig!”
It was impossible to help laughing
at the funny conflict between Laurie’s chivalrous
reluctance to speak ill of womankind, and his very
natural dislike of the unfeminine folly of which fashionable
society showed him many samples. Jo knew that
‘young Laurence’ was regarded as a most
eligible parti by worldly mamás, was much smiled
upon by their daughters, and flattered enough by ladies
of all ages to make a coxcomb of him, so she watched
him rather jealously, fearing he would be spoiled,
and rejoiced more than she confessed to find that he
still believed in modest girls. Returning suddenly
to her admonitory tone, she said, dropping her voice,
“If you must have a ‘vent’, Teddy,
go and devote yourself to one of the ‘pretty,
modest girls’ whom you do respect, and not waste
your time with the silly ones.”
“You really advise it?”
and Laurie looked at her with an odd mixture of anxiety
and merriment in his face.
“Yes, I do, but you’d
better wait till you are through college, on the whole,
and be fitting yourself for the place meantime.
You’re not half good enough for well,
whoever the modest girl may be.” and Jo looked
a little queer likewise, for a name had almost escaped
her.
“That I’m not!”
acquiesced Laurie, with an expression of humility quite
new to him, as he dropped his eyes and absently wound
Jo’s apron tassel round his finger.
“Mercy on us, this will never
do,” thought Jo, adding aloud, “Go and
sing to me. I’m dying for some music, and
always like yours.”
“I’d rather stay here, thank you.”
“Well, you can’t, there
isn’t room. Go and make yourself useful,
since you are too big to be ornamental. I thought
you hated to be tied to a woman’s apron string?”
retorted Jo, quoting certain rebellious words of his
own.
“Ah, that depends on who wears
the apron!” and Laurie gave an audacious tweak
at the tassel.
“Are you going?” demanded Jo, diving for
the pillow.
He fled at once, and the minute it
was well, “Up with the bonnets of bonnie Dundee,”
she slipped away to return no more till the young
gentleman departed in high dudgeon.
Jo lay long awake that night, and
was just dropping off when the sound of a stifled
sob made her fly to Beth’s bedside, with the
anxious inquiry, “What is it, dear?”
“I thought you were asleep,” sobbed Beth.
“Is it the old pain, my precious?”
“No, it’s a new one, but
I can bear it,” and Beth tried to check her
tears.
“Tell me all about it, and let me cure it as
I often did the other.”
“You can’t, there is no
cure.” There Beth’s voice gave way,
and clinging to her sister, she cried so despairingly
that Jo was frightened.
“Where is it? Shall I call Mother?”
“No, no, don’t call her,
don’t tell her. I shall be better soon.
Lie down here and ‘poor’ my head.
I’ll be quiet and go to sleep, indeed I will.”
Jo obeyed, but as her hand went softly
to and fro across Beth’s hot forehead and wet
eyelids, her heart was very full and she longed to
speak. But young as she was, Jo had learned that
hearts, like flowers, cannot be rudely handled, but
must open naturally, so though she believed she knew
the cause of Beth’s new pain, she only said,
in her tenderest tone, “Does anything trouble
you, deary?”
“Yes, Jo,” after a long pause.
“Wouldn’t it comfort you to tell me what
it is?”
“Not now, not yet.”
“Then I won’t ask, but
remember, Bethy, that Mother and Jo are always glad
to hear and help you, if they can.”
“I know it. I’ll tell you by-and-by.”
“Is the pain better now?”
“Oh, yes, much better, you are so comfortable,
Jo.”
“Go to sleep, dear. I’ll stay with
you.”
So cheek to cheek they fell asleep,
and on the morrow Beth seemed quite herself again,
for at eighteen neither heads nor hearts ache long,
and a loving word can medicine most ills.
But Jo had made up her mind, and after
pondering over a project for some days, she confided
it to her mother.
“You asked me the other day
what my wishes were. I’ll tell you one
of them, Marmee,” she began, as they sat along
together. “I want to go away somewhere
this winter for a change.”
“Why, Jo?” and her mother
looked up quickly, as if the words suggested a double
meaning.
With her eyes on her work Jo answered
soberly, “I want something new. I feel
restless and anxious to be seeing, doing, and learning
more than I am. I brood too much over my own
small affairs, and need stirring up, so as I can be
spared this winter, I’d like to hop a little
way and try my wings.”
“Where will you hop?”
“To New York. I had a
bright idea yesterday, and this is it. You know
Mrs. Kirke wrote to you for some respectable young
person to teach her children and sew. It’s
rather hard to find just the thing, but I think I
should suit if I tried.”
“My dear, go out to service
in that great boarding house!” and Mrs. March
looked surprised, but not displeased.
“It’s not exactly going
out to service, for Mrs. Kirke is your friend the
kindest soul that ever lived and would make
things pleasant for me, I know. Her family is
separate from the rest, and no one knows me there.
Don’t care if they do. It’s honest
work, and I’m not ashamed of it.”
“Nor I. But your writing?”
“All the better for the change.
I shall see and hear new things, get new ideas, and
even if I haven’t much time there, I shall bring
home quantities of material for my rubbish.”
“I have no doubt of it, but
are these your only reasons for this sudden fancy?”
“No, Mother.”
“May I know the others?”
Jo looked up and Jo looked down, then
said slowly, with sudden color in her cheeks.
“It may be vain and wrong to say it, but I’m
afraid Laurie is getting too fond of me.”
“Then you don’t care for
him in the way it is evident he begins to care for
you?” and Mrs. March looked anxious as she put
the question.
“Mercy, no! I love the
dear boy, as I always have, and am immensely proud
of him, but as for anything more, it’s out of
the question.”
“I’m glad of that, Jo.”
“Why, please?”
“Because, dear, I don’t
think you suited to one another. As friends
you are very happy, and your frequent quarrels soon
blow over, but I fear you would both rebel if you
were mated for life. You are too much alike and
too fond of freedom, not to mention hot tempers and
strong wills, to get on happily together, in a relation
which needs infinite patience and forbearance, as
well as love.”
“That’s just the feeling
I had, though I couldn’t express it. I’m
glad you think he is only beginning to care for me.
It would trouble me sadly to make him unhappy, for
I couldn’t fall in love with the dear old fellow
merely out of gratitude, could I?”
“You are sure of his feeling for you?”
The color deepened in Jo’s cheeks
as she answered, with the look of mingled pleasure,
pride, and pain which young girls wear when speaking
of first lovers, “I’m afraid it is so,
Mother. He hasn’t said anything, but he
looks a great deal. I think I had better go away
before it comes to anything.”
“I agree with you, and if it
can be managed you shall go.”
Jo looked relieved, and after a pause,
said, smiling, “How Mrs. Moffat would wonder
at your want of management, if she knew, and how she
will rejoice that Annie may still hope.”
“Ah, Jo, mothers may differ
in their management, but the hope is the same in all the
desire to see their children happy. Meg is so,
and I am content with her success. You I leave
to enjoy your liberty till you tire of it, for only
then will you find that there is something sweeter.
Amy is my chief care now, but her good sense will
help her. For Beth, I indulge no hopes except
that she may be well. By the way, she seems
brighter this last day or two. Have you spoken
to her?’
“Yes, she owned she had a trouble,
and promised to tell me by-and-by. I said no
more, for I think I know it,” and Jo told her
little story.
Mrs. March shook her head, and did
not take so romantic a view of the case, but looked
grave, and repeated her opinion that for Laurie’s
sake Jo should go away for a time.
“Let us say nothing about it
to him till the plan is settled, then I’ll run
away before he can collect his wits and be tragic.
Beth must think I’m going to please myself,
as I am, for I can’t talk about Laurie to her.
But she can pet and comfort him after I’m gone,
and so cure him of this romantic notion. He’s
been through so many little trials of the sort, he’s
used to it, and will soon get over his lovelornity.”
Jo spoke hopefully, but could not
rid herself of the foreboding fear that this ‘little
trial’ would be harder than the others, and that
Laurie would not get over his ‘lovelornity’
as easily as heretofore.
The plan was talked over in a family
council and agreed upon, for Mrs. Kirke gladly accepted
Jo, and promised to make a pleasant home for her.
The teaching would render her independent, and such
leisure as she got might be made profitable by writing,
while the new scenes and society would be both useful
and agreeable. Jo liked the prospect and was
eager to be gone, for the home nest was growing too
narrow for her restless nature and adventurous spirit.
When all was settled, with fear and trembling she
told Laurie, but to her surprise he took it very quietly.
He had been graver than usual of late, but very pleasant,
and when jokingly accused of turning over a new leaf,
he answered soberly, “So I am, and I mean this
one shall stay turned.”
Jo was very much relieved that one
of his virtuous fits should come on just then, and
made her preparations with a lightened heart, for Beth
seemed more cheerful, and hoped she was doing the best
for all.
“One thing I leave in your especial
care,” she said, the night before she left.
“You mean your papers?” asked Beth.
“No, my boy. Be very good to him, won’t
you?”
“Of course I will, but I can’t
fill your place, and he’ll miss you sadly.”
“It won’t hurt him, so
remember, I leave him in your charge, to plague, pet,
and keep in order.”
“I’ll do my best, for
your sake,” promised Beth, wondering why Jo
looked at her so queerly.
When Laurie said good-by, he whispered
significantly, “It won’t do a bit of good,
Jo. My eye is on you, so mind what you do, or
I’ll come and bring you home.”