WHICH TOUCHES INCIDENTALLY ON MATTERS OF FINANCE
As Richard had predicted the fog reappeared
towards sun sunset. At first, as a frail mist,
through which the landscape looked colourless and
blurred. Later it rose, growing in density, until
all objects beyond a radius of some twenty paces were
engulfed in its nothingness and lost. Later still while
Helen de Vallorbes paid her visit at Newlands it
grew denser yet, heavy, torpid, close yet cold, penetrated
by earthy odours as the atmosphere of a vault, oppressive
to the senses, baffling to sight and hearing alike.
From out it, half-leafless branches, like gaunt arms
in tattered draperies, seemed to claw and beckon at
the passing carriage and its occupants. The silver
mountings of the harness showed in points and splashes
of hard, shining white as against the shifting, universal
dead-whiteness of it, while the breath from the horses’
nostrils rose into it as defiant jets of steam, that
struggled momentarily with the opaque, all-enveloping
vapour, only to be absorbed and obliterated as light
by darkness, or life by death.
The aspect presented by nature was
sinister, had Richard Calmady been sufficiently at
leisure to observe it in detail. But, as he slowly
walked the horses up and down the quarter of a mile
of woodland drive, leading from the thatched lodge
on the right of the Westchurch road to the house,
he was not at leisure. He had received enlightenment
on many subjects. He had acquired startling impressions,
and he needed to place these, to bring them into line
with the general habit of his thought. The majority
of educated persons so-called think
in words, words often arbitrary and inaccurate enough,
prolific mothers of mental confusion. The minority,
and those of by no means contemptible intellectual
calibre, since the symbol must count for
more than the mere label, think in images
and pictures. Dickie belonged to the minority.
And it must be conceded that his mind now projected
against that shifting, impalpable background of fog,
a series of pictures which in their cynical pathos,
their suggestions at once voluptuous and degraded,
were hardly unworthy of the great master, William Hogarth,
himself.
For Helen, in the reaction and relief
caused by finding her relation to Richard unimpaired,
caused too by that joyous devilry resident in her
and constantly demanding an object on which to wreak
its derision, had by no means spared her lord and
master, Angelo Luigi Francesco, Vicomte de Vallorbes.
And this only son of a thrifty, hard-bitten, Savoyard
banker-noble and a Neopolitan princess of easy morals
and ancient lineage, this Parisian viveur,
his intrigues, his jealousies, his practical ungodliness
and underlying superstition, his outbursts of temper,
his shrewd economy in respect of others, and extensive
personal extravagance, offered fit theme, with aid
of little romancing, for such a discourse as it just
now suited his very brilliant, young wife to pronounce.
The said discourse opened in a low
key, broken by pauses, by tactful self-accusations,
by questionings as to whether it were not more merciful,
more loyal, to leave this or that untold. But
as she proceeded, not only did Helen suffer the seductions
of the fine art of lying, but she really began to
have some ado to keep her exuberant sense of fun within
due limits. For it proved so excessively exhilarating
to deal thus with Angelo Luigi Francesco! She
had old scores to settle. And had she not this
very day received an odiously disquieting letter from
him, in which he not only made renewed complaint of
her poor, little miseries of debts and flirtations,
but once more threatened retaliation by a cutting-off
of supplies? In common justice did he not deserve
villification? Therefore, partly out of revenge,
partly in self-justification, she proceeded with increasing
enthusiasm to show that to know M. de Vallorbes was
a lamentably liberal education in all civilised iniquities.
With a hand, sure as it was light, she dissected out
the unhappy gentleman, and offered up his mangled
and bleeding reputation as tribute to her own so-perpetually
outraged moral sense and feminine delicacy, not to
mention her so-repeatedly and vilely wounded heart.
And there really was truth as at each fresh
flight of her imagination she did not fail to remind
herself in all that which she said.
Truth? yes, just that misleading sufficiency
of it in which a lie thrives. For, as every artist
“in this kind” is aware, precisely as
you would have the overgrowth of your improvisation
richly phenomenal and preposterous, must you be careful
to set the root of it in the honest soil of fact.
To omit this precaution is to court eventual detection
and consequent confusion of face.
As it was, Helen entered the house
at Newlands, a house singularly unused to psychological
aberrations, in buoyant spirits, mischief sitting
in her discreetly downcast eyes, laughter perplexing
her lips. She had placed her cargo of provocation,
of resentment, to such excellent advantage! She
was, moreover, slightly intoxicated by her own eloquence.
She was at peace with herself and all mankind, with
de Vallorbes even since his sins had afforded her
so rare an opportunity. And this occasioned her
to congratulate herself on her own conspicuous magnanimity.
It is so exceedingly pleasing not only to know yourself
clever, but to believe yourself good! She would
be charming to these dear kind, rather dull people.
Not that Honoria was dull, but she had inconveniently
austere notions of honour and loyalty at moments.
And then the solitary drive home with Richard Calmady
lay ahead, full of possible drama, full of, well,
heaven knew what! Oh! how entrancing a pastime
is life!
But to Richard, walking the snorting
and impatient horses slowly up and down the woodland
drive in the blear and sightless fog, life appeared
quite other than an entrancing pastime. The pictures
projected by his thought, and forming the medium of
it, caused him black indignation and revolt, desolated
him, too, with a paralysing disgust of his own disabilities.
For poor Dick had declined somewhat in the last few
hours, it must be owned, from the celestial altitudes
he had reached before luncheon. Some part of
his cousin’s discourse had been dangerously
intimate in character, suggesting situations quite
other than platonic. To him there appeared a
noble innocence in her treatment of matters not usually
spoken of. He had listened with a certain reverent
amazement. Only out of purity of mind could such
speech come. And yet an undeniable effect remained,
and it was not altogether elevating. Richard
was no longer the young Sir Galahad of the noontide
of this eventful day. He was just simply a man in
a sensible degree the animal man loving
a woman, hating that other man to whom she was legally
bound. Hating that other man, not only because
he was unworthy and failed to make her happy, but
because he stood in his Richard’s way.
Hating the man all the more fiercely because, whatever
the uncomeliness of his moral constitution, he was
physically very far from uncomely. And so, along
with nobler incitements to hatred, went the fiend envy,
which just now plucked at poor Dickie’s vitals
as the vulture at those of the chained Titan of old.
Whereupon he fell into a meditation somewhat morbid.
For, contemplating in pictured thought that other
man’s bodily perfection, contemplating his property
and victim, the fair modern Helen, who
by her courage and her trials exercised so potent
a spell over his imagination, Richard loathed
his own maimed body, maimed chances and opportunities,
as he had never loathed them before. How often
since his childhood had some casual circumstance or
trivial accident brought the fact of his misfortune
home to him, causing him as he at the moment
supposed to reckon, once and for all, with
the sum total of it! But as years passed and experience
widened, below each depth of this adhering misery
another deep disclosed itself. Would he never
reach bottom? Would this inalienable disgrace
continue to show itself more restricting and impeding
to his action, more repulsive and contemptible to
his fellow-men, through all the succeeding stages
and vicissitudes of his career, right to the very
close?
To her hosts Madame de Vallorbes appeared
in her gayest and most engaging humour. It was
only a flying visit, she mustn’t stay, Richard
was waiting for her. Only she felt she must just
have two words with Honoria. And say good-bye?
Yes, ten thousand sorrows, it was good-bye. She
was recalled to Paris, home, and duty. She made
an expressive little grimace at Miss St. Quentin.
“Your husband will be” began
Mrs. Cathcart, in her large, gently authoritative
manner.
“Enchanted to see me, of course,
dear Cousin Selina, or he would not have required
my return thus urgently. We may take that for
said. Meanwhile what strange sprigs of nobility
flourish in the local soil here.”
And she proceeded to give an account
of the Fallowfeild party at luncheon more witty, perhaps,
than veracious. Helen could be extremely entertaining
on occasion. She gave reins to her tongue, and
it galloped away with her in most surprising fashion.
“My dear, my dear,” interrupted
her hostess, “you are a little unkind surely!
My dear, you are a little flippant!”
But Madame de Vallorbes enveloped
her in the most assuaging embrace.
“Let me laugh while I can, dearest
Cousin Selina,” she pleaded. “I have
had a delightful little holiday. Every one has
been charming to me. You, of course but
then you always are that. Your presence breathes
consolation. But Aunt Katherine has been charming
too, and that, quite between ourselves, was a little
more than I anticipated. Now the holiday draws
to a close and pay-day looms large ahead. You
know nothing about such pay-days, thank heaven, dear
Cousin Selina. They are far from joyous inventions;
and so” the young lady spread abroad
her hands, palms upward, and shrugged her shoulders
under their weight of costly furs “and
so I laugh, don’t you understand, I laugh!”
Miss St. Quentin’s delicate,
square-cut face wore an air of solicitude as she followed
her friend out of the room. There was a trace
of indolence in her slow, reflective speech, as in
her long, swinging stride the indolence
bred of unconscious strength rather than of weakness,
the leisureliness which goes with staying power both
in the moral and the physical domain.
“See here, Nellie,” she
said, “forgive brutal frankness, but which is
the real thing to-day they’re each
delightful in their own way the tears or
the laughter?”
“Both! oh, well-beloved seeker
after truth,” Madame de Vallorbes answered.
“There lies the value of the situation.”
“Fresh worries?”
“No, no, the old, the accustomed,
the well-accredited, the normal, the stock ones a
husband and a financial crisis.”
As she spoke Madame de Vallorbes fastened
the buttons of her long driving-coat. Miss St.
Quentin knelt down and busied herself with the lowest
of these. Her tall, slender figure was doubled
together. She kept her head bent.
“I happen to have a pretty tidy
balance just now,” she remarked parenthetically,
and as though with a certain diffidence. “So
you know, if you are a bit hard up why it’s
all perfectly simple, Nellie, don’t you know.”
For a perceptible space of time Madame
de Vallorbes did not answer. A grating of wheels
on the gravel arrested her attention. She looked
down the long vista of ruddily lighted hall, with
its glowing fire and cheerful lamps to the open door,
where, against the blear whiteness of the fog, the
mail-phaeton and its occupant showed vague, in outline
and in proportions almost gigantic against the thick,
shifting atmosphere. Miss St. Quentin raised
her head, surprised at her companion’s silence.
Helen de Vallorbes bent down, took the upturned face
in both hands and kissed the soft cheeks with effusion.
“You are adorable,” she
said. “But you are too generous. You
shall lend me nothing more. I believe I see my
way. I can scrape through this crisis.”
Miss St. Quentin rose to her feet.
“All right,” she said,
smiling upon her friend from her superior height with
a delightful air of affection and apology. “I
only wanted you just to know, in case don’t
you see. And and for the
rest, how goes it Helen? Are you turning all
their poor heads at Brockhurst? You’re
rather an upsetting being to let loose in an ordinary,
respectable, English country-house. A sort of
Mousquetaire au couvent the other way about,
don’t you know. Are you making things fly
generally?”
“I am making nothing fly,”
the other lady rejoined gaily. “I am as
inoffensive as a stained-glass saint in a chapel window.
I am absolutely angelic.”
“That’s worst of all,”
Honoria exclaimed, still smiling. “When
you’re angelic you are most particularly deadly.
For the preservation of local innocents, somebody
ought to go and hoist danger signals.”
Miss St. Quentin, after just a moment’s
hesitation, followed her friend through the warm,
bright hall to the door. Then Helen de Vallorbes
turned to her.
“Au revoir, dearest Honoria,”
she said, “and the sooner the better. Leave
your shopgirls and distressed needlewomen, and all
your other good works for a still better one namely
for me. Come and reclaim, and comfort, and support
me for a while in Paris.”
Again she kissed the soft cheek.
“I am as good as gold.
I am just now actually mawkish with virtue,”
she murmured, between the kisses.
Richard witnessed this exceedingly
pretty leave-taking not without a movement of impatience.
The fog was thickening once more. It grew late.
He wished his cousin would get through with these amenities.
Then, moreover, he did not covet intercourse with
Miss St. Quentin. He pulled the fur rug aside
with his left hand, holding reins and whip in his
right.
“I say, are you nearly ready?”
he asked. “I don’t want to bother
you; but really it’s about time we were moving.”
“I come, I come,” Madame
de Vallorbes cried, in answer. She put one neatly-shod
foot on the axle, and stepped up Richard
holding out his hand to steady her. A sense,
at once pleasurable and defiant, of something akin
to ownership, came over him as he did so. Just
then his attention was claimed by a voice addressing
him from the further side of the carriage. Honoria
St. Quentin stood on the gravel close beside him,
bare-headed, in the clinging damp and chill of the
fog.
“Give my love to Lady Calmady,”
she said. “I hope I shall see her again
some day. But, even if I never have the luck to
do that, in a way it’ll make no real difference.
I’ve written her name in my private calendar,
and shall always remember it.” She
paused a moment. “We got rather near each
other somehow, I think. We didn’t dawdle
or beat about the bush, but went straight along, passed
the initial stages of acquaintance in a few hours,
and reached that point of friendship where forgetting
becomes impossible.
“My mother never forgets,”
Richard asserted, and there was, perhaps, a slight
edge to his tone. Looking down into the girl’s
pale, finely-moulded face, meeting the glance of those
steady, strangely clear and observant eyes, he received
an impression of something uncompromisingly sincere
and in a measure protective. This, for cause
unknown, he resented. Notwithstanding her high
breeding. Miss St. Quentin’s attitude appeared
to him a trifle intrusive just then.
“I am very sure of that that
your mother never forgets, I mean. One knows,
at once, one can trust her down to the ground and on
to the end of the ages.” Again she
paused, as though rallying herself against a disinclination
for further speech. “All captivating women
aren’t made on that pattern, unfortunately,
you know, Sir Richard. A good many of them it’s
wisest not to trust anything like down to the ground,
or longer than well the day
before yesterday.”
And without waiting for any reply
to this cryptic utterance, she stepped swiftly round
behind the carriage again, waved her hand from the
door-step and then swung away, with lazy, long-limbed
grace, past the waiting men-servants and through to
the ruddy brightness of the hall.
Madame de Vallorbes settled herself
back rather languidly in her place. She was pricked
by a sharp point of curiosity, regarding the tenor
of Miss St. Quentin’s mysterious colloquy with
Richard Calmady. She had been able to catch but
a word here and there, and these had been provokingly
suggestive. Had the well-beloved Honoria, in a
moment of overscrupulous conscientiousness permitted
herself to hoist danger signals? She wanted to
know, for it was her business to haul such down again
with all possible despatch. She intended the barometer
to register set fair whatever the weather actually
impending. Yet to institute direct inquiries
might be to invite suspicion. Helen, therefore,
declined upon diplomacy, upon the inverted sweetnesses
calculated nicely to mask an intention quite other
than sweet. She really held her friend in very
warm affection. But Madame de Vallorbes never
confused secondary and primary issues. When you
have a really big deal on hand and of the
bigness of her present deal the last quarter of an
hour had brought her notably increased assurance even
the dearest friend must stand clear and get very decidedly
out of the way. So, while the muffled thud of
the horses’ hoofs echoed up from the hard gravel
of the carriage drive through the thick atmosphere,
and the bare limbs of the trees clawed, as with lean
arms clothed in tattered draperies, at the passing
carriage and its occupants, she contented herself
by observing:
“I am grateful to you for driving
me over, Richard. Honoria is very perfect in
her own way. It always does me good to see her.
She’s quite unlike anybody else, isn’t
she?”
But Richard’s eyes were fixed
upon the blank wall of fog just ahead, which, though
always stable, always receded before the advancing
carriage. The effect of it was unpleasant somehow,
holding, as it did to his mind, suggestions of other
things still more baffling and impending, from which though
you might keep them at arm’s length there
was no permanent or actual escape. The question
of Miss St. Quentin’s characteristics did not
consequently greatly interest him. He had arrived
at conclusions. There was a matter of vital importance
on which he desired to speak to his cousin. But
how to do that? Richard was young and excellently
modest. His whole purpose was rather fiercely
focused on speech. But he was diffident, fearing
to approach the subject which he had so much at heart
clumsily and in a tactless, tasteless manner.
“Miss St. Quentin? Oh yes!”
he replied, rather absently. “I really know
next to nothing about her. And she seems merely
to regard me as a vehicle of communication between
herself and my mother. She sent her messages
just now I hope to goodness I shan’t
forget to deliver them! She and my mother appear
to have fallen pretty considerably in love with one
another.”
“Probably,” Madame de
Vallorbes said softly. An agreeable glow of relief
passed over her. She looked up at Richard with
a delightful effect of pensiveness from beneath the
sweeping brim of her cavalier hat. “I
can well believe Aunt Katherine would be attracted
by her,” she continued. “Honoria
is quite a woman’s woman. Men do not care
very much about her as a rule. There is a good
deal of latent vanity resident in the members of your
sex, you know, Richard; and men are usually conscious
that Honoria does not care so very much about them.
They are quite right, she does not. I really believe
when poor, dreadful, old Lady Tobermory left her all
that money Honoria’s first thought was that
now she might embrace celibacy with a good conscience.
The St. Quentins are not precisely millionaires, you
know. Her wealth left her free to espouse the
cause of womanhood at large. She is a little
bit Quixotic, dear thing, and given to tilting at windmills.
She wants to secure to working women a fair business
basis that is the technical expression,
I believe. And so she starts clubs, and forms
circles. She says women must be encouraged to
combine and to agitate. Whether they are capable
of combining I do not pretend to say. These high
matters transcend my small wit. But, as I have
often pointed out to her, agitation is the natural
attitude of every woman. It would seem superfluous
to encourage or inculcate that, for surely wherever
two or three petticoats are gathered together, there,
as far as my experience goes, is agitation of necessity
in the midst of them.”
Madame de Vallorbes leaned back with
a little sigh and air of exquisite resignation.
“All the same, the majority
of women are unhappy enough, heaven knows! If
Honoria, or any other sweet, feminine Quixote, can
find means to lighten the burden of our lives, she
has my very sincere thanks, well understood.”
Richard drew his whip across the backs
of the trotting horses, making them plunge forward
against that blank, impalpable wall of all-encircling,
ever-receding, ever-present fog. The carriage
had just crossed the long, white-railed bridge, spanning
the little river and space of marsh on either side,
and now entered Sandyfield Street. The tops of
the tall Lombardy poplars were lost in gloom.
Now and again the redness of a lighted cottage window,
blurred and contorted in shape, showed through the
gray pall. Slow-moving, country figures, passing
vehicles, a herd of some eight or ten cows preceded
by a diabolic looking billy-goat, and followed by
a lad astride the hind-quarters of a bare-backed donkey grew
out of pallid nothingness as the carriage came abreast
of them, and receded with mysterious rapidity into
nothingness again. The effect was curiously fantastic
and unreal. And as the minutes passed that effect
of unreality gained upon Richard’s imagination,
until now as last evening in the stately
solitude of the Long Gallery he became
increasingly aware of the personality of his companion,
increasingly penetrated by the feeling of being alone
with that personality, as though the world, so strangely
blotted out by these dim, obliterating vapours, were
indeed vacant of all human interest, human purpose,
human history, save that incarnate in this fair woman
and his own relation to her. She alone existed,
concrete, exquisite, sentient, amid the vague, shifting
immensities of fog. She alone mattered.
Her near neighbourhood worked upon him strongly, causing
an excitement in him which at once hindered and demanded
speech.
Night began to close in in good earnest.
Passing the broad, yellowish glare streaming out from
the rounded tap-room window of the Calmady Arms, and
passing from the end of the village street on to the
open common, the light had become so uncertain that
Richard could no longer see his companion’s
face clearly. This was almost a relief to him,
so that, mastering at once his diffidence and his
excitement, he spoke.
“Look here, Helen,” he
said, “I have been thinking over all that you
told me. I don’t want to dwell on subjects
that must be very painful to you, but I can’t
help thinking about them. It’s not that
I won’t leave them alone, but that they won’t
leave me. I don’t want to presume upon
your confidence, or take too much upon myself.
Only, don’t you see, now that I do know it’s
impossible to sit down under it all and let things
go on just the same. You’re not angry
with me?”
The young man spoke very carefully
and calmly, yet the tones of his voice were heavily
charged with feeling.
Madame de Vallorbes clasped her hands
rather tightly within her sable muff. Unconsciously
she began to sway a little, just a very little, as
a person will sway in time to strains of stirring music.
An excitement, not mental merely but physical, invaded
her. For she recognised that she stood on the
threshold of developments in this very notable drama.
Still she answered quietly, with a touch even of weariness.
“Ah! dear Richard, it is so
friendly and charming of you to take my infelicities
thus to heart! But to what end, to what end, I
ask you? The conditions are fixed. Escape
from them is impossible. I have made my bed made
it most abominably uncomfortably, I admit, but that
is not to the point and I must lie on it.
There is no redress. There is nothing to be done.”
“Yes, there is this,”
he replied. “I know it is wretchedly inadequate,
it doesn’t touch the root of the matter.
Oh! it’s miserably inadequate I should
think I did know that! Only it might smooth the
surface a bit, perhaps, and put a stop to one source
of annoyance. Forgive me if I say what seems
coarse or clumsy but would not your position
be easier if, in regard to to money, you
were quite independent of that of your
husband, I mean M. de Vallorbes?”
For a moment the young lady remained
very still, and stared very hard at the fog.
The most surprising visions arose before her.
She had a difficulty in repressing an exclamation.
“Ah! there now, I have blundered.
I’ve hurt you. I’ve made you angry,”
Dickie cried impulsively.
“No, no, dear Richard,”
she answered, with admirable gentleness, “I am
not angry. Only what is the use of romancing?”
“I am not romancing. It
is the simplest thing out, if you will but have it
so.”
He hesitated a little. The horses
were pulling, the fog was in his throat thick and
choking or was it, perhaps, something more
unsubstantial and intangible even than fog? The
spacious barns and rickyards of the Church Farm were
just visible on the right. In less than five
minutes more, at their present pace, the horses would
reach the first park gate. The young man felt
he must give himself time. He quieted the horses
down into a walk.
“If I were your brother, Helen,
I should save you all these sordid money worries as
a matter of course. You have no brother so,
don’t you see, I come next. It’s
a perfectly obvious arrangement. Just let me be
your banker,” he said.
Madame de Vallorbes shut her pretty
teeth together. She could have danced, she could
have sung aloud for very gaiety of heart. She
had not anticipated this turn to the situation; but
it was a delicious one. It had great practical
merits. Her brain worked rapidly. Immediately
those practical merits ranged themselves before her
in detail. But she would play with it a little both
diplomacy and good taste, in which last she was by
no means deficient, required that.
“Ah! you forget, dear Richard,”
she said, “in your friendly zeal you forget
that, in our rank of life, there is one thing a woman
cannot accept from a man. To take money is to
lay yourself open to slanderous tongues, is to court
scandal. Sooner or later it is known, the fact
leaks out. And however innocent the intention,
however noble and honest the giving, however grateful
and honest the receiving, the world puts but one construction
upon such a transaction.”
“The world’s beastly evil-minded then,”
Richard said.
“So it is. But that is
no news, Dickie dear,” Madame de Vallorbes answered.
“Nor is it exactly to the point.”
Inwardly she trembled a little.
What if she had headed him off too cleverly, and he
should regard her argument as convincing, her refusal
as final? Her fears were by no means lessened
by the young man’s protracted silence.
“No, I don’t agree,”
he said at last. “I suppose there are always
risks to be run in securing anything at all worth
securing, and it seems to me, if you look at it all
round, the risks in this case are very slight.
Only you and M. de Vallorbes need know.
I suppose he must. But then, if you will pardon
my saying so, after what you have told me I can’t
imagine he is the sort of person who is likely to object
very much to an arrangement by which he would benefit,
at least indirectly. As for the world,” Richard
ceased to contemplate his horses. He tried to
speak lightly, while his eyes sought that dimly seen
face at his elbow. “Oh, well, hang the
world, Helen! It’s easy enough for me to
say so, I dare say, being but so slightly acquainted
with it and the ways of it. But the world can’t
be so wholly hide-bound and idiotic that it denies
the existence of exceptional cases. And this case,
in some of its bearings at all events, is wholly exceptional,
I am happy to think.”
“You are a very convincing special
pleader, Richard,” Madame de Vallorbes said
softly.
“Then you accept?” he rejoined exultantly.
“You accept?”
The young lady could not quite control herself.
“Ah! if you only knew the prodigious
relief it would be,” she exclaimed, with an
outbreak of impatience. “It would make an
incalculable difference. And yet I do not see
my way. I am in a cleft stick. I dare not
say Yes. And to say No ”
Her sincerity was unimpeachable at that moment.
Her eyes actually filled with tears. “Pah!
I am ashamed of myself,” she cried, “but
to refuse is distracting.”
The gate of the outer park had been
reached. The groom swung himself down and ran
forward, but confused by the growing darkness and the
thick atmosphere he fumbled for a time before finding
the heavy latch. The horses became somewhat restive,
snorting and fidgeting.
“Steady there, steady, good
lass,” Richard said soothingly. Then he
turned again to his companion. “Believe
me it’s the very easiest thing out to accept,
if you’ll only look at it all from the right
point of view, Helen.”
Madame de Vallorbes withdrew her right
hand from her muff and laid it, almost timidly, upon
the young man’s arm.
“Do you know, you are wonderfully
dear to me, Dick?” she said, and her voice shook
slightly. She was genuinely touched and moved.
“No one has ever been quite so dear to me before.
It is a new experience. It takes my breath away
a little. It makes me regret some things I have
done. But it is a mistake to go back on what
is past, don’t you think so? Therefore
we will go forward. Tell me, expound. What
is this so agreeably reconciling point of view?”
But along with the touch of her hand,
a great wave of emotion swept over poor Richard, making
his grasp on the reins very unsteady. The sensations
he had suffered last evening in the Long Gallery again
assailed him. The flesh had its word to say.
Speech became difficult. Meanwhile his agitation
communicated itself strangely to the horses.
They sprang forward against that all-encircling, ever-present,
yet ever-receding, blank wall of fog, to which the
overarching trees lent an added gloom and mystery,
as though some incarnate terror pursued them.
The gate clanged-to behind the carriage. The groom
scrambled breathlessly into his place. Sir Richard’s
driving was rather reckless, he ventured to think,
on such a nasty, dark night, and with a lady along
of him too. He was not sorry when the pace slowed
down to a walk. That was a long sight safer,
to his thinking.
“The right point of view is
this,” Richard said at last; “that in
accepting you would be doing that which, in some ways,
would make just all the difference to my life.”
He held himself very upright on the
sloping driving-seat, rather cruelly conscious of
the broad strap about his waist, and the high, unsightly
driving-iron against which, concealed by the heavy,
fur rug, his feet pushed as he steadied himself.
He paused, gazing away into the silent desolation
of the now invisible woods, and when he spoke again
his voice had deepened in tone.
“It must be patent to you it
is rather detestably patent to every one, I suppose,
if it comes to that that I am condemned
to be of precious little use to myself or any one
else. I share the fate of the immortal Sancho
Panza in his island of Barataria. A very fine
feast is spread before me, while I find myself authoritatively
forbidden to eat first of this dish and then of that,
until I end by being every bit as hungry as though
the table was bare. It becomes rather a nuisance
at times, you know, and taxes one’s temper and
one’s philosophy. It seems a little rough
to possess all that so many men of my age would give
just anything to have, and yet be unable to get anything
but unsatisfied hunger, and in plain English humiliation,
out of it.”
Madame de Vallorbes sat very still.
Her charming face had grown keen. She listened,
drawing in her breath with a little sobbing sound but
that was only the result of accentuated dramatic satisfaction.
“You see I have no special object
or ambition. I can’t have one. I just
pass the time. I don’t see any prospect
of my ever being able to do more than that. There’s
my mother, of course. I need not tell you she
and I love one another. And there are the horses.
But I don’t care to bet, and I never attend
a race-meeting. I I do not choose to
make an exhibition of myself.”
Again Helen drew her hand out of her
muff, but this time quickly, impulsively, and laid
it on Richard’s left hand which held the reins.
The young man’s breath caught in his throat,
he leaned sideways towards her, her shoulder touching
his elbow, the trailing plumes of her hat now
limp from the clinging moisture of the fog for
a moment brushing his cheek.
“Helen,” he said rapidly,
“don’t you understand it’s in your
power to alter all this? By accepting you would
do infinitely more for me than I could ever dream
of doing for you. You’d give me something
to think of and plan about. If you’ll only
have whatever wretched money you need now, and have
more whenever you want it if you’ll
let me feel, however rarely we meet, that you depend
on me and trust me and let me make things a trifle
easier and smoother for you, you will be doing such
an act of charity as few women have ever done.
Don’t refuse, for pity’s sake don’t!
I don’t want to whine, but things were not precisely
gay before your coming, you know. Need it be
added they promise to be less so than ever after you
are gone? So listen to reason. Do as I ask
you. Let me be of use in the only way I can.”
“Do you consider what you propose?”
Madame de Vallorbes asked, slowly. “It
is a good deal. It is dangerous. With most
men such a compact would be wholly inadmissible.”
Then poor Dickie lost himself.
The strain of the last week the young, headlong passion
aroused in him, the misery of his deformity, the accumulated
bitterness and rebellion of years arose and overflowed
as a great flood. Pride went down before it,
and reticence, and decencies of self-respect.
Richard turned and rent himself, without mercy and,
for the moment, without shame. He pelted himself
with cruel words, with scorn and self-contempt, while
he laughed, and the sound of that laughter wandered
away weirdly through the chill density of the fog,
under the tall, shadowy firs of the great avenue, over
the sombre-heather, out into the veiled, crowded darkness
of the wide woods.
“But I am not as other men are,”
he answered. “I am a creature by myself,
a unique development as much outside the normal social,
as I am outside the normal physical law. I alone
by myself think of it! abnormal,
extraordinary! You are safe enough with me, Helen.
Safe to indulge and humour me as you might a monkey
or a parrot. All the world will understand that!
Only my mother, and a few old friends and old servants
take me seriously. To every one else I am an
embarrassment, a more or less distressing curiosity.” He
met little Lady Constance Quale’s ruminant stare
again in imagination, heard Lord Fallowfeild’s
blundering speech. “Remember our luncheon
to-day. It was flattering, at moments, wasn’t
it? And so if I do queer things, things off the
conventional lines, who will be surprised? No
one, I tell you, not even the most strait-laced or
censorious. Allow me at least the privileges
of my disabilities. I am a dwarf a
cripple. I shall never be otherwise. Had
I lived a century or two ago I should have made sport
for you, and such as you, as some rich man’s
professional fool. And so, if I overstep the
usual limits, who will comment on that? Queer
things, crazy things, are in the part. What do
I matter?”
Richard laughed aloud.
“At least I have this advantage,
that in my case you can do what you can do in the
case of no other man. With me you needn’t
be afraid. No one will think evil. With
me yes, after all, there is a drop of comfort
in it with me, Helen, you’re safe
enough.”